Weekend Update on the Trump Administration - SNL

>>> IT'S "WEEKEND UPDATE" WITH COLIN JOST AND MICHAEL CHE. ♪♪♪ [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] >> HELLO, EVERYBODY. >> WELCOME TO "WEEKEND UPDATE." I'M COLIN JOST. >> I'M MICHAEL CHE. WELL, ONE WEEK HAS PASSED SINCE DONALD TRUMP HAS BEEN ELECTED PRESIDENT. NOW, IT HASN'T BEEN GREAT. BUT IT ALSO HASN'T BEEN GOOD. OR EVEN FINE. [ LAUGHTER ] WHILE HALF THE COUNTRY IS WORRIED TRUMP IS GOING TO MAKE AMERICA UNSAFE FOR WOMEN AND MINORITIES THE FIRST GUY HE HIRED WAS FORMER CHAIRMAN OF BREITBART NEWS AND FITNESS ENTHUSIAST, STEVE BANNON. THAT FACE, THOUGH. BREITBART NEWS HAS BEEN CRITICIZED BY MANY FOR BEING A SEXIST, RACIST, WHITE NATIONALIST NEWS SITE. STRONG WORDS. I DON'T KNOW IF I'D CALL IT A NEWS SITE. [ LAUGHTER ] CALLING BREITBART A NEWS SITE IS LIKE CALLING THE R. KELLY SEX TAPE A ROM-COM. [ LAUGHTER ] >> DONALD TRUMP ALSO NOMINATED ALABAMA SENATOR JEFF SESSIONS FOR ATTORNEY GENERAL. EVEN THOUGH SESSIONS WAS DENIES A FEDERAL POSITION 30 YEARS AGO FOR MAKING RACIST REMARKS. BUT YOU KNOW WHAT THEY SAY. IF AT FIRST YOU DON'T SUCCEED, WAIT 30 YEARS UNTIL HISTORY LURCHES BACKWARDS. [ LAUGHTER ] THE THING THAT'S SURPRISING ME MOVES ABOUT THESE PICKS IS HOW LAZY THEY ARE. THEY'RE JUST WHOEVER IS LYING AROUND TRUMP'S OFFICE. HE BASICALLY DID A YELP SEARCH WITH A RADIUS OF 10 FEET. AT THIS POINT, IF YOU JUST WANDERED INTO DONALD TRUMP ON THE STREET AND YOU WERE WEARING A SUIT, THERE'S A 90% CHANCE HE'D MAKE YOU SECRETARY OF EDUCATION. AND HALF OF THE GUYS HE'S PICKING HAVE BEEN UNEMPLOYED. IS THIS WHAT HE MEANT BY BRINGING JOBS BACK? [ LAUGHTER ] I THINK TRUMP IS JUST SURROUNDING HIMSELF WITH PEOPLE WHO MAKE HIM LOOK BETTER. I MEAN, THAT WAS KIND OF THE POINT OF "CELEBRITY APPRENTICE." PEOPLE THINK TRUMP'S A GREAT BUSINESSMAN BECAUSE HE IS COMPARED TO BRETT MICHAELS AND LOU FERRIGNO. [ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE ] >> IT WAS REPORTED THAT DONALD TRUMP WAS SURPRISED BY THE SCOPE OF THE RESPONSIBILITIES OF A PRESIDENT. [ LAUGHTER ] YEAH, DUDE. BEING PRESIDENT IS HARD. THAT'S WHY OBAMA LOOKS LIKE HE SPENT EIGHT YEARS IN A TURKEY SMOKER. [ LAUGHTER ] OBAMA'S THE ONLY GUY THAT GAVE UP CIGARETTES AND SOMEHOW LOOKS WORSE. [ LAUGHTER ] I DON'T EVEN THINK DONALD TRUMP EVER WANTED TO BE PRESIDENT. IN THE FIRST PLACE. I MEAN, NOBODY'S JUDGING A SWIMSUIT CONTEST WITH DENNIS RODMAN, WHILE ALSO WANTING TO BRING JOBS BACK TO RURAL PENNSYLVANIA. [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] I THINK HE JUST WANTED TO WIN THE ELECTION BECAUSE EVERYTHING SAID HE COULDN'T. IT'S LIKE DATING. CHASING SOMEONE HARD TO GET IS ALWAYS MORE FUN THAN THE ACTUAL RELATIONSHIP. HE JUST LIKES THE CHASE. HE ENJOYED WOOING AMERICA FOR 18 MONTHS, LOVED MAKING CRAZY PROMISES. EVEN WHEN THE MEDIA WAS TALKING ABOUT IT, BABY, DON'T LISTEN TO YOUR DUMB FAT FRIENDS, THEY'RE JUST JEALOUS. BUT IT WORKED AND AMERICA SAID YES. THE CHASE IS OVER AND REALITY STARTS AND IT'S NOT FUN ANYMORE. HE'S GETTING TEXTS FROM DENNIS RODMAN, LET'S HIT UP A PAGEANT! I CAN'T, I'VE GOT TO BUILD A WALL, I DON'T LIKE THIS. CLEARLY HE'S NOT READY FOR THIS COMMITMENT. THAT'S WHY EVERY TIME AMERICA BRINGS UP MOVING TO D.C., YEAH, BABE, I THINK I'LL KEEP MY PLACE IN NEW YORK. WHICH WOULD COST TAXPAYERS TENS OF MILLIONS OF DOLLARS. BUT IT'S ALL WORTH IT TO HELP A BILLIONAIRE GO NIGHT-NIGHT IN HIS BIG BOY BED. [ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE ] ONE THING I KEPT HEARING ALL THIS WEEK WAS, "CAN YOU BELIEVE TRUMP IS DOING THIS?" YEAH, IT'S TRUMP. HIS WHOLE PLATFORM WAS HOW HE'S NOT GOING TO BE A NORMAL PRESIDENT. THE ONLY REAL MODEL WE HAVE FOR A TRUMP PRESIDENCY IS THE MOVIE "FIRST KID." [ LAUGHTER ] I'M JUST WORRIED IT MIGHT ALL END LESS LIKE "FIRST KID" AND MORE LIKE "INDEPENDENCE DAY." >> MAJOR MEDIA OUTLETS SUCH AS CNN, "WASHINGTON POST," AND "NEW YORK TIMES" HAVE CRITICIZED TRUMP FOR WALKING BACK SOME OF HIS CAMPAIGN PROMISES. BUT SHOULDN'T THE MEDIA BE ENCOURAGING HIM WHEN HE'S MOVING IN THE RIGHT DIRECTION? MAYBE IF YOU RAN COMPLIMENTARY HEADLINES YOU COULD TRICK HIM INTO DOING WHAT YOU WANT. FOR EXAMPLE, INSTEAD OF THE HEADLINE "TRUMP BREAKS PROMISE TO LOCK UP HILLARY CLINTON," MAYBE TRY SOMETHING MORE POSITIVE LIKE, "HEROIC TRUMP SAVES GRANDMA." [ LAUGHTER ] OR YOU COULD CHANGE "TRUMP FLIP-FLOPS ON REPEALING OBAMACARE" TO "GENEROUS TRUMP HONORS UNEMPLOYED BLACK MAN'S LAST WISH." [ LAUGHTER ] SEE, HE'LL LIKE THAT. >> MIKE PENCE ON FRIDAY WAS BOOED BY THE AUDIENCE AFTER SEEING THE BROADWAY HIT "HAMILTON." OF COURSE HE WAS BOOED. HE'S A GUY FROM INDIANA WHO BELIEVES IN GAY CONVERSION THERAPY. VISITING BROADWAY IS HOW PEOPLE FROM INDIANA REALIZE THEY'RE GAY. [ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE ] [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]

Channel: Saturday Night Live

Views: 987,371

Keywords: SNL, Saturday Night Live, Season 42, Episode 1711, Kristen Wiig, Weekend Update, Colin Jost, Michael Che, Donald Trump, Steve Bannon, live, new york, comedy, sketch, funny, hilarious, late night, host, music, guest, laugh, impersonation, episode 7, kristen wiig, target lady, penelope, kissing family, kat and garth, sue, rebecca larue, gilly, ghostbusters, bridesmaids

Id: i1G8EP7KTqg

Length: 5min 18sec (318 seconds)

Published: Thu Feb 23 2017