We Read Courtney’s Middle School Diary (The Christmas Special)

oh my god small skate theater holidays everyone you know the title of this video these books might look familiar to you yes these are my Diaries from 5th through 9th grade and you know it's the holiday season so I dug deep found some entries that are around the holidays talking about you know New Year's resolutions stuff like that so it's a lot of monologue stuff and then we have a final one that's just kind of my present to you guys to read oh I really want to I really want to give a great performance today yeah like I'm really focusing on performance I know but I feel like I feel like I break out of it too much and I want to really like I want to Shia LaBeouf yeah okay so you guys already just get in oh yeah before we do punch that bell the bell this first one is called first New Year's resolutions it's a monologue except for a certain Johnny steps in for a cup to chime in every few Olivia would you like to be Courtney for this first one yes and then Keith you want to be Johnny fun when you pop in you can hop on the stage whenever it says to enter alright ready now that's I'm so happy for you guys dear Joe three days until Christmas my friend Layla told Johnny that I missed him and he was like what he sounds so dramatic when he says it in a special way I have a bracelet that says I heart Johnny because I do I talked to John yesterday I am I told him what Leo said was true oh great in a good way I miss her but my goals for next year are no boyfriends good grades do homework and don't chew gum in class I promised myself I would not fail my goals so it won't work out buh-bye now you have fun does that my that Mike you have not have boyfriends do homework and not chew gum in class and get good grades work me what I mean I would hope not chewing gum in class and doing your homework wouldn't net you good grades what about the way she's well Bob I was boob a Bai I don't know I also cook named my diary Jo at the time it is called it yeah I didn't get it yeah did you did you hold on to those resolutions I never see best boyfriends minimum all open my mouth you know but we have another and new solution list later on that you'll see how I've really changed your weird I know this next one is called the holidays oh it was in December 2007 this I believe is only monologue and this one's a bit more so I think for this one hold on I need to strategize cuz okay you guys Rock Paper Scissors you to know you have to choose I think she wants this like you really wanted to know you should pick based off talent and then and whoever has the best agent oh my god you should you should have gotten this interior monologue town December 1st 2007 dear diary I have a date today ah two nights ago me and my bestie Sam were hanging out with Kyle and Chad now they want to ask us to be their girlfriends today we are going to see a movie with them and there is bound to be chemistry oh I will tell you about it when I get back Kyle is the one to ask me out later oh my god hello my god it sucked okay first the guys are late so he missed part of the beginning then when God then when Kyle tried to hold my hand he accidentally hit the armrest then I built the courage to put my hand on the armrest so it was easier for him but he never did anything and Chad was too nervous to do anything with Sam either they are such cowards then we were taking pictures after the movie and mom was waiting outside so then me and Sam had to hurry to the car because my mom told us to hurry for some reason and I never told mom that guys were gonna be there because she would have said no so I had to rush Sam while she was trying to say bye to Chad it was an idiot to rush her and I should have hugged Kyle bye or something so on Monday I am going to kiss him for going to the movies with me I have never kissed a guy before Courtney I've never been kissed period except for my parents and my family but wait wait I don't like Kyle that much I don't know what to do I will think about it January 1st January 2nd sorry 2008 happy new year my new year resolutions are no boyfriends for real this time I'm warming this year [Applause] be nice to everyone at school good grades and meekness I am from the field this year I'm going Mormon no more bad stuff I broke up with this guy Andy not important and I was about to go out with Johnny but I thought about it and said no I am even writing a Mormon song I'll be right back [Applause] really good job Shane Courtney you are weird ish I know dude I said all over the map yeah there's something about the phrase I'm going Mormon this one is in December 30th 2008 Johnny and his xbox bully's Keith I would love you to read this monologue okay all right oh yeah babe eyes a little back story I was getting really an xbox live this time in my life a lot of halo mostly because I was excited talking to strangers weird hey I can't believe I'm going to be in high school next year I'm like I'm not excited about it but it's just quite amazing and I've gotten this far I've survived this cruel world this long Kourtney oh my god it's just something to marvel at that's all fable to is such a fun game like become an Xbox anyway I can't believe it's practically 2009 my resolutions are get good grades take better care of myself let my hair grow long beat hot but what deg AF do ya don't even give a [ __ ] but don't even give up your D gasps I've never heard of that in my life enjoy the value of life better and choose an occupation huh that night huh who's playing xbox live and Johnny invited me into a chat Oh the second I get in there all the other people in there started calling me a [ __ ] and Sinha was the ex-girlfriend Courtney come on girlfriend Johnny wouldn't tell them to stop either no he's texting me right now oh my trying to tell me excuses I just don't get it I know he does the thing I used to do I would learn with someone and since people are so desperate these days they fall for it yeah so now he's been doing that to me I've got to get away [Applause] you are so crazy I'm still getting through this cruel world it's so cruel I will admit I feel like every thirteen-year-old at some point of being 13 just thinks like their life is the absolute hardest just like my life is damned Siddharth and then you grow up and you see the world you're like oh all right I'm sorry that you were that you were liberated that's okay because this next century is called Johnny gets rekt you know is the classic carnie Johnny story so I would like no I would you like to be Courtney and Olivia you be Johnny hey Johnny and I actually held hands today it's really weird to say because normally he would be all over me but since we started going out it's like he's holding back or something he was all excited though when I said I might go to the dance so I said backstory yeah we were on and off periodically so he may have been bullying me in xbox one nine then two days later we were going out so this point I guess I mean going out where you guys go in he was all excited though when I said I might go to the dance is he about sexual I'm mostly emotional I'm mostly emotional anyway Samuel we're talking Sam and I were talking about if all of us just ran away I've always wanted to be free from everything literally a day later hi we got a puppy today she's so cute by the way Johnny got so weird to the point where I had to break up with him Johnny enters we are over weirdo damn you beat me to it sucks for you my famous punch line Wow and over text sucks even more for you not really I was going to in person but you were just so awkward that I couldn't even look at you Johnny leaves so anyways the puppy is so cute dad Lexington Kara I love her so much I'm sorry queue is puffy is adorable I'm definitely gonna use the term like like once you've been dating someone for a month or so just by hey are you about sexual I'm about emotion so there's some other entries that are considered pudding in here that was like me literally saying I've been thinking a lot about sex lately and it's like literally me in eighth grade and then all sudden I big it's just got way too graphic way too quick because I think the girls but I was friends with we're very involved very fast girls you're supposed to UM going Mormon but I'm thinking about sex that's one thing you and Anne Frank haven't comment about your diary Wow okay guys so this final one is it's not in the holidays time at all but it is my gift to you guys because um this is a conversation that I had with somebody that has stuck with me and haunts me to this day this is called Kourtney versus Brittany this was 2007 uh this girl bullied me for elementary school through high school so yes Kourtney versus Brittany I think I would like Shane to be Courtney and know what to be Brittany is that okay with you this yeah so like with this group we there was so much drama with these girls and there was like six of us and always group off into group different cliques of getting mad at each other for stupid things like wearing the same shirt like what Thomas Coleman asked me out I was so happy but the thing is he asked me on the phone so I don't know if he's happy about it - what what if he isn't oh rap so anyways it's winter break but everyone is busy nothing to do at all so yeah I like Thomas a lot but does he like me - Brittany still hates me regular people just forget about fights that's how it used to be when we were friends but now girls are at each other's throats so they can be popular I've been texting Brittany and I just texted her say I was sorry and I reminded her how great it was when we were all friends I hope she accepts my apology no not really all of us thought you are annoying and a fake that hurts how a fake honey you copy everything Leila and Rachel do and you wear a cup bra when you really don't need one I need one Brittany what are you a doctor you are flat I would wear one I would wear one of those other bras but there's one problem one side is flat and one side is growing so half a point for you for being half right and making me let let out my biggest secret and what do you want me to do not wear a bra if I didn't you I can see a lot more than you bought - I wish you could hear me because I'm laughing my little heart out Brittany exits I guess that's it then later a lot later so her I'm Kate sorry all along the whole time why me oh god why me why us God I thought there was a chance I shouldn't blame you I shouldn't have been so bad that's it then no more no more boys okay I'll do it but wait oh my god what if it's not because I was bad okay God here's the compromise I do everything good but I keep Thomas Coleman and if it ends no more plus you owe me I love that it's dark it you're telling God you owe me that's so intense I feel a 13 year old telling God that he owes her yeah no idea I'll keep Thomas Coleman but you know me you to Satan I know you're in on this together listen here God I want an airplane 250 thousand of traces of marked bills and I'm gonna keep Thomas Coleman my god on the other line and he's got a better offer oh yeah so that was Britney Thank You K I stole her boyfriend sophomore year a big God owed me brindis not well yeah happy holidays does my presents you guys the gift of you want to see more Britney stories let us know in the comments or if you have any similar stories hey where my flat girls that love y'all more like a ghostly dick the notification bell guys next time we bring this Christmas past present to y'all you love you so much and you can click this video over here we selected out for you or this video over here that YouTube select it out for you yeah they're both a good time

Channel: Smosh Pit

Views: 1,470,483

Rating: 4.9780521 out of 5

Keywords: smosh, smosh pit, smosh games, funny, comedy, We Read Courtney’s Middle School Diary (The Christmas Special), courtney's middle school diary, courtney miller, shayne topp, keith leak jr, noah grossman, cringey, diary

Id: bJLwQHgRv4c

Length: 19min 22sec (1162 seconds)

Published: Thu Dec 12 2019