- You've entered into a world
you don't even understand. - You have entered into a world
you don't even understand. - That's the (beep) Chosen. (upbeat music) - Hello and welcome to "Robosapien". Last time, Noah and I were robot waiters while Damien and Saige were on a date. We had Kimmy and Keith here in this room, in the green room, giving us instructions
while we were blindfolded and couldn't hear anything. Uh, it was an absolute nightmare. Now this time, Saige is
going to be the robot while Courtney and I are
both trying to control her and give her instructions. It's like "Inside Out",
except you only have anxiety. - I really want you to impress Damien so give us a little dance entrance. - Hey! You made it. Good to see you. - Twirl, twirl. A little twirl. (Saige snapping) - Let me get the chair for you. - Tell him thank you. - Thank you.
- Two twirls. - Traffic was nuts.
- Traffic was nuts. - Sit down, plop really hard. - It's like the panini's winding down and all of a sudden, everybody starts to
get on traffic-y again. - Yeah. - [Damien] Yeah. Yeah. (Damien and Saige chuckles) - Keep flipping your hair. - Cool. Well, I hope you didn't have
too much trouble getting here. And I'm glad you said
yes to date number two. This is exciting. - Yes, of course. - Your hair looks great.
- Yes, of course. - Thanks, your hair is good too. - Thanks, your hair is good too. - Thank you. I just got it. I headbutted a Smurf into oblivion. (Shayne laughs) (Saige laughs) - You are so funny.
- You're so funny. - We could be Team Rocket.
- We could be Team Rocket. - Oh my God. That is so funny. - Team Rocket's blasting off again! - Team Rocket's blasting off again! - They're blasting off again
with date number two! (laughs) That's so crazy for us. (Courtney giggles) Yeah, no, we both have like
cats and that's the Meowth. I'm trying to teach. - Yeah, I have two cats.
- Yeah, I have two cats. - Their names are Dwayne and
the other's The Rock Johnson. - Their names are Dwayne and
the other is The Rock Johnson. - That's so funny. It's a theme name. That's great. And mine are Lucy and In
The Sky With Diamonds? - No.
- No. - Oh, you don't like The
Beatles. That's cool. Hey.
- Hello there and welcome to the Pimento Olive Garden. Here are your menus
- Thank you. - And I'm gonna start you off with water. - Ask for uncooked rice in a glass. - [Noah] Water? - Can I have uncooked rice in a glass? - I will check with the chef. (crew laughing) I'll be right back with the waters - Thank you.
- and the rice. - The chef is my brother.
- The chef is my brother. (Courtney laughs) - Is that right?
- Okay. - Yep.
- Yep. - No, just kidding. - No, just kidding.
- That's your brother. - No, but for real.
- No, but for real. (Courtney giggles) - I kind of felt like it'd
be a little bit longer before I like, I don't know, met family. This is cool. - Saige, do not repeat what I'm saying. - Saige, do not repeat what I'm saying. - God damn it, Saige.
- God damn it, Saige. - You good? - Go (beep) yourself.
- Go (beep) yourself. - No, say that to the waiter.
- No, say that to the waiter. (beep) yourself. - Oh, is this because we don't have rice? - Yes.
- Yes. - What do you think... How do you feel about the ocean? - What do you... How do you feel about like the ocean? - The ocean's great. I
wish we were nicer to it. We keep dropping a bunch of oil
in there, like all the time. - Isn't it crazy, like, our biggest fears? - Isn't it crazy how
like our biggest fears. - Isn't that... - wouldn't that be weird?
- Isn't that... Wouldn't that be weird? - Open the menu and read it really closely - Well, I mean, I'm personally
afraid of like deep ocean, but like, is that- - Would you say that
fear is like (beep) huge? - Would you say that
fear is like (beep) huge? (Courtney and Shayne laughing) - Yes. But I think it ties into like... Wow, we're getting deep. I think it ties into like a bigger fear of just in general being alone. - Whoa, that's a spicy meatball. - Whoa, that's a spicy meatball. - Yeah. (chuckles) Yeah, it is. I guess it is a lot to admit on a... That's fine. Yeah, no, it's just like
the idea of being alone and like in the middle of the ocean, a place that is
- Slap the menu down. - inhospitable to humans. We're not supposed to be the- You decided quick. - Pour some of your water in his water. - Saige, I'm gonna be honest with you. Are you- That's so sweet. We're sharing water. Not in the way I think we would, but yeah. - In case mine's poisoned. - Saige, I'm gonna be honest with you- - In case mine's poisoned. - What's up? (Courtney laughs) - What?
- What'd you say about poison? - Isn't it crazy how - You're acting a little, kinda funny. - Isn't it crazy how - Like Shayne is better than
you at Super Smash Bros? - Shayne is better than
you at Super Smash Bros? - That is the craziest (beep)
thing anyone's ever said. (Shayne and Courtney laughing) He's never once beaten me. - Oh. (crew laughing) - Order dinner from Noah. - I need to order dinner. - I would like a Hungry-Man
Frozen Dinner TV Dinner. - I would like a Hungry-Man
Frozen TV Dinner. - A Hungry Man-
- But for my date - Lean Cuisine. - Lean Cuisine. (crew laughing) - Oh. You know what, can we make
that a two Hungry-Man Dinners and a Lean Cuisine to
split for this table? - Absolutely not.
- Absolutely not. - Oh, okay. - I'll see what the chef can do. - Well, we didn't really
land on then what I get, if you are- - Fluff your hair and smile. - I'm not allowed to do that?
(Saige chuckles) (Damien chuckles) She's fun. - Do you need another moment? Do you want the Lean Cuisine? - Hold on. I got this. - Oh!
- What are you doing? - That's appetizer.
- What are you doing? - I can totally get this fly. - No.
- No. - I'm not gonna-
- That's dinner. - That's dinner! (fly buzzing) - [Noah] That's, what? - [Shayne] I'm saving that for later. - I'm saving that for later. - If you kill that fly,
- If you kill that fly, - I am going to murder you.
- I am going to murder you. - Can you actually take it out? 'Cause it is caught in here.
- No. - No.
- What are you doing? - What are you doing? - Damien you're... Okay.
- No, Damien. Okay. - For real, this is weird.
- Damien, for real, this is weird. - Damien, that fly is allergic to water. - Damien, that fly is allergic to water. - Oh God. Then I want to
get it outside as fast- - How am I the one-
- How am I the one- - With, okay.
- With, okay. - How are you the one weirder in this situation?
- How are you the one weirder in this situation? (all laughing) - Look, you got to know early on that this is what you're getting into. - Damien, I gotta be real honest. I gotta ask you, do you have two people in your
head telling you what to do and telling you to do weird
things like trap a fly in a glass of water? - Damien, I gotta be real honest. I gotta ask you, do you have two people in your head telling you what to do?
- No. It sounds like you're projecting. - Telling you to do weird things like about flies in a glass of water? - No, it sounds an awful lot
like you're projecting, Saige. I'm just me and yes, I do have a couple of
voices rattling around in there sometimes.
- Ah-ha! - It's called anxiety.
- Ah-ha! - Let him free. - There is no way I'm just gonna- - Let him free!
- There we go, yep. There he goes. - Good.
- Good! - I care about animals, Damien. - I care about animals, Damien! - I wasn't gonna kill
him, that's the point. - Is that Sauvage? - Is that Sauvage? (Shayne laughing) - What? - You smell lovely. - You smell-
- No. - You smell lovely.
- That's gotta be AXE. - No, that's gotta be AXE? - No, not since I was a teen. - Irish Spring? - Biodiesel.
- Irish Spring? - Diesel fuel for life. - Diesel fuel?
- Pink by Victoria's Secret? - Pink by Victoria's Secret. - You know what, I've heard
Victoria's Secret has Pink. Tell me about that. - I'm glad we can bond about- - I'm glad we can bond about this. - I have two cats.
- I have two cats. - Yeah! You said Dwayne
and The Rock Johnson. See, I listen. - You really do listen, Damien. - You really do listen, Damien. - I thank you for that.
- I thank you for that. - No, that's bare minimum. - Now, listen to this.
- Now, listen to this. - What's up? (Shayne blowing raspberries) - If you fart, I swear to
God, that will be funny. (Saige blows raspberries) (Saige chuckles) - That's so funny! (Shayne blowing raspberries) You're hilarious! - Saige. Do this. (Shayne blowing raspberries) (Saige blows raspberries faintly) - Hey, wait. Excuse me, Garson? There was a fly trapped
adjacent to this water. - Oh! Lucky you. - [Damien] If I could just get a new one. - Oh, new water. - I will double your money
if you keep that water here. - I will double you money
if you keep that water here! - In fact, get more flies
and put them in here. - Get more flies. - I will return with more flies. - I'll give you another dollar to please give me not fly water. - My Uncle
- My Uncle - is
- is (Courtney laughs) - Mr. Express.
- Mr. Express. - Wolfgang Puck Express.
- Wolfgang Puck Express. - And he will give you a job. - He will give you a job. - If you keep that water right there. - Oh my goodness.
- If you - Yes?
- Keep that water right there. - Sir, you're gonna have to go thirsty for the entire dinner. I really need this job. - You already have a waiting job. Are you stupid? - I'm on my way up. - Also, I can't believe you stole the waiter's haircut and style. - Also, I can't believe you stole the waiter's haircut and style. - Okay. Well, first of all,
(everyone laughs) I've been doing this for a long time. I had the Bieber haircut
before Bieber was popular and then I had the blue hair
before Noah had blue hair. - Oh, wow.
- Oh, wow. Wow. - Wow. I know. Wow. - Wow. Wow. Wow. Wee. Wow. - Grab his bowl.
- Yeah, but I mean- - Grab his bowl and taste his food. - Dump his bowl into your bowl. - Okay. Yeah. That's what happens next. Sure. - It's cute. We're sharing. - It's cute. We're sharing.
- Now, put some in your mouth and then spit it out. - I mean I'm down to share a salad. Yeah, I just like I don't
see why your day was crazy. And, not really- - Smack his hand if he tries to touch it. - Oh, uh. (crew laughing) - Whatever you do, do not let
him touch any of your food. - Do you want me to just
watch you eat salad? That sounds like a weird kink-
- No, go ahead. - No, go ahead! No.
- Smack it. - This was in my bio.
- This was in my bio. - You should be aware of this already. - You should be aware of this already. - I wasn't given a
dossier before our date. - I thought you swiped right on me. - I thought you swiped right on me. - I swiped correctly, but I based it fully off
feeling and vibe that I got. - Wow. You didn't even read my bio. - Wow. You didn't even read my bio. - Sounds like you were
told to come on this date - Sounds like you were
told to come on this date - by two people in your ear. - What?
- by two people in your ear. - You're being very specific
about two people in my ear. - [Saige] Very sus. - Very sus, sus, Damien. Sussy baka, Damien. - Sussy baka, Damien. - Okay. Now I know the real Saige would never say the words sussy
baka 'cause she hates them. What is going on today? (rock music) - You're a real (beep) bag. - You're a real piece of (beep). - Real piece of (beep). - Don't you tell me
- Don't you tell me - Who I am. - Who I am, and how I
act, and what I will say, and what I will say. - I am a grown ass man.
- I am a grown ass man. - (laughs) I will not
tolerate this bull (beep). - I will not tolerate this bull (beep). - Damien, I bench press like 200 pounds. - Damien, I bench press like 200 pounds. - I'm 7'3".
- I'm 7'3". - I know. - They know me by name at Hot Topic. - They know me by name at Hot Topic. - I figured they would. Yeah. The company's got to stay afloat somehow and you're doing them a lot of good. - [Courtney] Thank you. - Thank you.
- I just... - Scream.
- Seems like you're- (Saige screams)
(intense music) (bowls clattering) - It's just, like, I wanna know that you actually wanted
to come on a second date. I'm not the kind of person- - Mm-hmm!
- Mm-hmm! - if you weren't interested,
like that's okay. It seems like maybe you don't
particularly want to be here and that's all right. - What you mean?
- What you mean? - You called me a big old (beep) bag. Piece of (beep) man. - Ooh, spaghetti. Ooh, sghetti. - Ooh, spaghetti.
(gasps) Sghetti. Sghetti. - Garson? Garson? Some goddamn silverware, please? - It is in the napkin I brought earlier. (silverware clattering) - So it is.
- What? (crew laughing) - Did you see the way he
talked to me back there? - I understand why he would.
- I understand why he would. - See that sort of what I'm saying. - Don't let him eat his food. - [Damien] We all both
seem so enthusiastic and now it feels like... Okay. - Twirl up a bunch of his spaghetti. - Like you're doing me
a favor by being here. - Twirl. Twirl. Keep twirling.
- Twirling. Keep twirling. Keep twirling. - [Shayne And Saige] Mmm. - [Damien] Saige? - [Shayne And Saige] Mmm! (Courtney laughing) Mm mm! - Now, look serious. - I've got a crazy idea. Have you seen the "Lady and the Tramp"? - No. What's it like? - Cause now I want to take-
- No. What's it like? - It's about two dogs
who each other spaghetti, and now I'm gonna eat your spaghetti. (Courtney and Saige gasps) - Don't you dare. - Don't you dare. - I think there has to be balance in any kind of date situation. - Like the force?
- Like the force? - Yes, exactly. Like the force. That's the Saige that I know. And if you can eat my spaghetti, maybe I can eat your spaghetti. - Now, lift the spaghetti off. - Like a push and a pull. - And go, "Wow. That's a big
old bundle of spaghetti." - Wow. - I'll be a great Jedi like-
- That's a big old bundle of spaghetti. - Now, put it in his glass of water. (playful music) (water splashing) - Oh. Well, that's a
saucy wrist right there. - For the fly! - From a sussy baka.
- It's for the fly. - When it comes back. - For the fly when it comes back.
- When it comes back. - Yes, 'cause I didn't kill that fly. Did you see the "Black Widow" film? (Courtney and Saige speaking gibberish) - Are you asking me that because I look like her? - Are you asking me that
because I look like her? - Yeah.
- Oh. - I was gonna be mad but I'm not. - I was gonna be mad but I'm not. - I almost went to sip this just now. - Did you see "Jungle Cruise"? - Did you see "Jungle Cruise"? - Because you're cheap? - It's not out yet.
- Because you're cheap? - What? - Sorry to interrupt. I just wanted to make sure
that dinner is going well. Is there anything else
that might be needed? - Yeah. Could you just tell my
date that I'm just not cheap. - Clap your hands. Applaud the waiter. - Generous date.
(Saige clapping) - Thank you. Thank you. - You work so hard. - You work so hard.
- Thank you. Thank you.
- Thank you. - Thank you.
- You deserve this. - And money cannot buy pride. - And money cannot buy pride! - It's true. That's something I built myself! I built myself! He gets it. - Take a different fork and scoop up some spaghetti.
- Yeah, I'm sure you've dated some people that-
- Feed it to him. - I've been the same way where... Oh, thank you. Mmm.
- Is it warm? - Is it warm? - Mmm. Luke warm. - Does it need some Parmesan? - Does it need some Parmesan? - It really does need
a flavor of some kind. - I'm not trying to rush either of you. - Feels like you are.
- Take as long as you would like. - Take the check. - [Noah] Here's the check. - Throw it.
- I got it. - I will retrieve the check. - Thank you. Just give it to me next time. - Money isn't real. - Money isn't real! - Money isn't real, I know. We might as well just be
using stuff like Bitcoin. - Oh, wow.
- Oh, wow. - Grab the bill from him.
- Take it. Take it from him. - Do you accept cards from-
- Take it from him. Throw it. - Throw it harder. - No, really. I got this one. It's okay, 'cause I asked you it's- - Oh, cha-ching! Cha-ching!
- Oh, cha-ching! Cha-ching! - Ba-bling. Ba-bling. - Ba-bling! Ba-bling! - Mr. Crypto, over here.
- Mr. Crypto, over here. - It ain't about the money.
- It ain't about the money. - Are you gonna throw it again? Saige, you're acting weird.
Are you gonna throw it again? - No.
- Maybe not. - No. Maybe, maybe not. - Throw it behind you. - That was a toss. - [Saige] That was a toss. - Saige, I'm gonna ask
you just straight up, and it's okay if you are, - Dark chuckle into yourself. - Are you a robot?
(Saige chuckling) Are you a robot, Saige? - That's a very funny joke. - That's a very funny-
- Are you a RoboSaigean? - Saige, I want you to talk
exactly as I am talking. Damien.
- Damien. - You've entered into a world you don't even understand. - You have entered into a world you don't even understand. - That's The (beep) Chosen. Are you talking with The Chosen right now? Has The Chosen hacked your brain frame? - Damien, I've always told
you I have eyes everywhere. - Damien, I've always told you I have eyes everywhere. - Goddammit. God (beep) damn it. - This is the test. - Let Saige go. Let our rivalry die at our own hands. She has a beautiful soul and
does not need to be taken over by The Chosen of all people, who I've already defeated.
(Courtney and Saige cackling) - Damien, you passed. - Damien, you passed. - Another date test?
- Another date test. - Oh, good.
- Yeah. - I think this can really work. - This can really work. - You see you're a robot that I designed - You're a robot that I designed - To go on dates with me.
- To go on dates with me. - I don't think that's true. This is gaslighty. - Well, that's what I programmed you. - Cease all motor functions.
- Cease all motor functions. Sea salt, sea salt (mumbles) function. - Run away. - Run away. - Courtney, can you pass me that LaCroix? - Yeah. - Courtney, can you pass me that LaCroix? - Thanks, guys. Saige, you can keep repeating this. - [Saige] Anyways, thanks guys. - This has been a lot of fun.
- This is really good. I feel like we did really well. - This is really good. I
feel like we did really well. - [Shayne And Saige] Uh, you
know guys, like I said before, make sure to like and subscribe. We got more videos down
here for you to watch. They're really, really, solid.
- Good content. - Hey, Saige, stand up and take a bow. - Saige stand up and take a bow. - Post-environmentalism.
- Post-environmentalism. - Nice.
- Nice. - Love you guys.
- Love you guys. (Courtney kisses) (Saige blowing a kiss) (playful music) - Bap.
- Bap.
