Wait... Are You Still a Virgin? | People Stories #230

real life 40 year old virgins what's your story i lost my vaginity at age 40. i had opportunities but just didn't realize them at the time girls would come flirt with me but i would just freeze and my mind would go blank i am very shy and quiet i sometimes think i am autistic but have never been diagnosed or tried to get diagnosed i always though something was wrong with me and i knew i wasn't normal i also didn't drink a lot or party i invited a co-worker over to watch a movie one night and she is also very quiet and shy i let her take the lead and let it happen that was two years ago and we are engaged now congrats it's kinda cute that you found someone so similar to yourself in that respect then it happened i kept my virginity so that if a volcano ever threatened my small village i could throw myself into it to save my family and friends as i live in canada it was not really the wisest decision 42 here i thought i had a date once it wasn't it sort of falls into three time periods age 17 25 i asked some girls women out they all just plain out said no except for the one the last few years of the period i stupidly started to ask why and because your you was the top answer until the one went on in more detail and made me realize what because you you meant and i gave up i threw myself into my studies researched anything that interested me and just read a lot about a lot age 25 32 i just didn't try continued my self-studies sure there were women i would love to ask out there was even one i did quite to my own surprise of course she said no and then some but i was still me and they would have said no i had a demanding abusive job from age 28 to 30 that took everything from me i joined the gym at 30 age 32 now i lost 97 pounds between age 30 and 32 took up yoga and running i think i noticed women noticing me but i had convinced myself women don't find me attractive so i had to be imagining things my workout routine has lessened since then and i have gained back some weight but thankfully more muscle than fat i learned in my late 20s that i have a personality type that makes me hard to get to know which means dating is particularly difficult it was at this time i thought i was a high functioning artist i do have many but not all trays of one i've never been good at social stuff so i have huge disadvantage in the sociality needed for dating in the last five years or so i began to wonder if i have social anxiety disorder instead of or maybe in addition to autism and in all this time i've worked overnights which adds another difficulty in dating i get the idea that i'm the better than nothing guy but i don't want to be the last option for someone i'd rather like a woman who wants to be with me and not as to be with someone i also don't think it would be fair to burden the woman with my quirks and foibles that i've gotten over the years also the social stigma of being over 40 and never even having a date seems like an obstacle in itself not 40 but i know one guy who has a micro penis and is physically unable to have sex shame too because he's decently good looking and funny makes out with a lot of girls is six feet three etc completely normal only know he's a virgin due to him admitting jt to me when he was drunk he's early to mid-thirties he needs to find himself a nice girl with vegismus and they can have lovely non-penetrative sex together for the rest of their lives this whole comment section makes me think there needs to be a dating site for social awkward people i would sign up in a heartbeat this site would lift the spirits of a few awkward females and completely crush the souls of the majority of awkward males with definite finality if i failed even here i'm really that useless i know a 34 year old who has never even kissed a girl crippling social anxiety also hung up on a girl from 15 years ago who has never been entrusted i saw a pretty tipsy girl come on to him at a bar once and he almost jumped out of his skin he was nude having that crap a co-worker is 51 never had girlfriend nor had sex nature has been a jerk to him he's an uglier version of danny devito with strabism none of the acting abilities i actually work with one he's like 45-ish maybe closing in on 50. he's a strange guy works too much and way too hard saves all his money is generally stingy but kinda social i know he wants it but he's too focused on work to actually make it happen some people work hard to escape depression source i am one some of us are just ugly in both looks and personality no sob story or long-winded explanation needed years of intense social rejection and depression don't help but they aren't the primary cause but some people are just inherently unapproachable to be fair a lot of people directly judge your personality based on your looks i first had seen people go from being creepy but old to fun in 60 pounds a friend of mine is 39 and has never lost it he's super religious has had girlfriends but never got married or anything so he never had his sex well that's as far as i know maybe he hasn't is ashamed of it maybe he's gay and is in the closet maybe he's asexual i don't know normal beer drinking playing video games going to bars and travelled the world sort of a guy decent looking but not great he's maybe a little out of shape but i wouldn't call it ugly thing is he wants to be married before sex and also has super weirdly high standards like now that he is his age he still won't settle for anything less than a kate upton that's ultra christian 35 this august still a virgin haven't even been kissed or on a date i gave up on relationships and have resigned myself to being alone i know someone who was 33 lots of reasons religious strict upbringing meant no way to interact with the preferred gender until after high school overweight in college which wasn't actually a problem for men finding her attractive but it killed her own self-confidence so she never recognized when men hit on her hard investment banking career meant working all hours and getting much fatter so the cycle kept getting worse had lots of guys friends but never recognized anyone hitting in her finally got in shape got confidence lost virginity at weight she was in in college when she thought she was fat ironic when i start getting down on myself about my weight i think i wish i was as fat as the first time i thought i was fat i'd be 125 pounds body image and perceptive are weird things when i was in sixth grade 125 seemed so enormous now almost 30 125 seems so frail for my height i have a friend in this situation she has never been kissed even she is a little bit heavy but not obese and she is okay looking i think it is just confidence i'm in my mid 40s female i have a congenital condition that isn't really that disabling in terms of what i can do but has meant i look very different from other women i'm really fat from the way it disrupted my metabolism developed as a woman until around puberty and then started developing about half and half male and female features also produced scarring and a general unwell appearance greasy skin and hair falling out even with excellent grooming you can imagine how sexually repulsive men have found me so here we are i expect to live the rest of my life alone of course at this point i'm so broken from bullying and isolation that the relationship isn't even imaginable perhaps it's a blessing that my condition is associated with a shorter lifespan this made me so sad to read i'm here if you ever need to talk to anyone my brother is 39 and a virgin honestly i think the reason is because he is disgusting he never cleans and basically leaves trash everywhere he's also morbidly obese and is a recluse he rarely leaves the house unless he absolutely is too he'll let things in his home go to absolute freaking crap don't even try to imagine his bathroom when he lived by himself however let's humanize him and try to understand him he has a legitimate eating disorder was abused by his father and has high functioning autism he's been depressed his entire life he has incredible ideals his general lack of cleanliness will never get in the way of his fervent desire to make sure nobody in his life ever goes hungry he practically throws buckets of cash at other members of the family with kids because he gets emotionally invested in the kids futures he's very smart he graduated high school at 15 with honors he can talk about any obscure science or philosophy endlessly he has a lopsided ego he seems confident and secure depending on the subject but in regards to his eating problem and body he hates himself and thinks he is disgusting he never wants anybody to see him naked because he is deathly afraid of what they'll think he's also deathly afraid of himself or what he might do in certain scenarios for example he got drunk for the first time when he was 35 because he was absolutely sure that he had a hidden and horrible violence that would come out when he actually did get drunk it was fine nothing bad happened he gets socially exhausted he goes to the grocery store like twice a week and feels like he can't handle being around people at all for a couple days it's been an exceedingly slow process to get him out there to try things i even dropped acid with him just last year we loved it he's growing as a person just at different starting lines and speeds from most people sounds like understandable reasons to me i mean you probably didn't intend it but at the beginning your comment kind of sounded like you considered it to be simply his fault i was deathly afraid of getting pregnant and ruining my life as a teen then at college sort of the same and then dated a religious guy for many years that ended badly and it took me a long time to get over it then a string of guys who i just wasn't into and sex isn't something i want just to get it over with then i went back to school and focused on that and my new career and suddenly i'm 40 and never officially lost it i'm 30 fat otherwise unattractive poor and socially awkward i work for an autoglass company and frequently go entire months without interacting with a woman within 10 years of my age that is not genetically related to me i've fully accepted that i am going to die a virgin pretty sure i know a 35 year old virgin he's creepy has the eyes of someone that doesn't see you he just looks past you in a serial killer kind of way also he only tries to date 18 to 22 year olds combine this with his ultra-conservative religion and greek family add a healthy dose of superiority complex he asked her buddy to take hlm to the shooting range once my buddy played it off but then told me when he wasn't around that he didn't want to get chris kyle chris kyle nice one of my best friends since grade school is 39 and has never had sex or had a boyfriend but she is from a very religious christian family and she still lives with her parents although she does work full-time she was always kind of awkward as a teen and put off an asexual vibe she wasn't ever girly in the usual ways and she was into martial arts i wouldn't say she is ugly but she isn't all that pretty either although when i saw her last summer she was wearing makeup and i thought she looked good she never talked about boys as a teen but i spent the night at her house many times and never got the feeling she was into girls either that said lately she has been really down about her situation everyone else from her church has gone off and married and her younger sister has had boyfriends and a normal dating life it would be very difficult at 39 to find a guy who would be okay with waiting until marriage to have sex and i know she would be unwilling to do anything before marriage i feel bad for her i feel that her religion has failed her but i wouldn't ever say that to her unless she openly expressed doubt about it to me she is the sweetest kindest person i know i hope she finds what makes her happy whatever that winds up being this was my cousin he is a male but same situation he found a lovely woman a few years ago got married at 40ish and they seem really happy both are vaguely awkward but the sweetest people and super religious it can happen not quite 40 yet 31 but it's trending that way confidence is definitely a huge factor meeting new people is difficult for me i've had a few girlfriends but none lasted longer than a month and i didn't feel comfortable making any moves within those short time frames it's simple no one i am attracted to is mutually attracted to me i work out i'm involved in sports and like to travel i've met tons of interesting people and made lots of friends most people my age are now married and the ones that are single aren't into me i started to realize you can enjoy a full life without being in a relationship but i would love to share my travel trips with someone i am romantically involved in first let me save you the trouble username checks out in my younger days i had self-esteem problems along with bouts of unemployment if you've ever been a man and unemployed you realize that the first question everyone asks you is what do you do for a living i couldn't handle the awkwardness of that and asking someone out religious yep i'm catholic i definitely wanted to find a catholic woman but i have asked out women who were not did i want to marry a virgin sure but i'm not naive by the time i was in my 20s i realized that it might not be possible to find someone like that anymore even after i was steadily employed i was following this stupid pattern of trying to become friends first and then asking the woman out on a date a woman did that with me once and then i had an aha moment where i saw why that didn't work i'm probably about a five though my self-esteem issues have made me rate myself lower than that i've asked out women who were nines or tens but i've also asked out fives i'm as much taken with beauty as the next guy but if you have a nice smile and you seem like a fairly smart woman i'll probably be in the early 2000s i developed a full-blown anxiety disorder which i didn't get help for until 2005. i tried to engage with women in the early part of my recovery but i came off as either awkward or creepy or both when i was doing a little better i went out with a couple of women i met online the one was a one-time thing as we didn't hit it off in person the way we did online the other one was a long distance thing and i think she was seeing someone else besides me because very shortly after we broke up she got married i really haven't done much since then the older i get the harder it is to find single women even remotely close to my age i often find myself attracted to 20 something women but i think it's just a hormonal thing i realize how ridiculous it would be for me to date someone half my age i remember being 25 and i think if a woman in her 50s asked me out i would have found it creepy i don't want to be creepy in recent years i've more or less given up on finding someone i'm trying to be at peace with myself as a single man as acceptance seems like a better path forward than perpetual frustration okay feeling a little vulnerable but there we go i'm 32 female and still single and a virgin not active in religion but i still believe in sex after marriage i had a really tough childhood with an abusive alcoholic father and a mother running away from it so much more happened but let's keep it with that the only thing to comfort me was food so i gained a lot of weight i had no self-esteem around 24 i started to work on myself got braces and lost the weight i had been in love a couple of times but got rejected each time it really really hurts i tried internet dating but that went nowhere now i'm a foster parent for my autistic brother i work and picked up a second study i'm fit and i think i look better than average but i have never been lucky in anything in life so the chances for me meeting someone sorry for my bad english btw technically not a virgin but i'm almost 42 and in my first serious relationship i lost my virginity in my mid-20s then went almost two decades with no sexual contact but for me it was mostly a lack of confidence and self-loathing i've been obese my entire life and have several disorders and asd it made getting close to people very difficult i'm not one to have meaningless sex either so i was celibate i had a bit of a renaissance last year and have lost over 100 pounds found my self-worth and confidence and have been in an awesome relationship for the last 10 months i can't tell you how many times i just wanted to die for feeling unloved or unwanted the loneliness was overwhelming at times i don't know how i made it so long i'm a 32 year old virgin female it just never happened i only discovered i was asexual when i was already 27 feet it doesn't mean i don't want to find someone to have a relationship with 30 something f still holding her v card i'm not religious i'm not socially awkward or a recluse i'm a confident person and even song makeup do not resemble a swamp monster went to a catholic old girls school but i'm not catholic now i was never taught sex was wrong or told to wait until marriage there was a lot of shaming at my school on monday mornings if you even did so much as walk down the street at a party with a guy once i danced with a bunch of different guys they asked i was polite at one of the local boys school's annual dances and went back to school a few days later to find out i was the town bike good times so after that i went out of my way to avoid all that jealous teen girl drama from high school to college i was really busy with sports work and other things so not having a serious boyfriend made things easier i did date i did make up with guys i just didn't keep anyone around for long and i'm not a one night stand kind of girl or going to just sleep with a guy after he buys me a slice and a beer there's a bunch of other crap i can write about my teen and early twenties but i'm not damaged or emotionally scared by it so i'll skip over all that out of college i was really busy i traveled and really worked hard to try and make it in my industry during this time in the back of my mind i was always terrified of getting pregnant or getting stuck somewhere because of a guy i never wanted to be married till i was old and in my 30s ha to me marriage always equaled your life was over and there was so much i wanted to do anyway i still dated went to bars flirted and all that stuff just no hooking up i still do all that but a while ago it got to the point where i realized i had no sexual experience and even if i did meet a guy i wanted to date more than a handful of times i really didn't want to have a conversation with him and disclose all that because that would make me seriously vulnerable i'd lose the perfect perfect image i have going he could end up being a jerk and tell everyone or we could sleep together i could suck at the whole sex thing and he'd disappear having to explain to someone you've only had sex once so you're probably terrible that it sounds even worse than having to admit you're still waving around that previously mentioned v card which is still where i am now on the outside i'm a fairly successful confident smart button without sounding like a jerk i'm above average looking so to have to fess up to some guy who has probably seen and done everything is way more of a gamble than i'm willing to take finally my time to shine i'm a 36 year old woman and i'm a virgin i am fat but trying to lose weight and i'm not pretty that i can't really change and because of this i have absolute zero confidence and major self-esteem issues the only thing i have going for me is my personality people love that crap i'm funny and have tons of friends both male and female despite this no man has ever found me attractive or been able to see past my looks to want to date me it makes me sad because i wanted to have a family and be a mother i'm always the only single person everywhere with my friends and at family gatherings at this point i'm just living my life trying not to focus on the fact that i'll likely die alone having never experienced any type of romantic experience my great great aunt died at 91 as a virgin and was never married or even had a boyfriend to be honest my mom thinks that she wasn't attracted to guys but she was very religious and probably wasn't able to be herself in that era but i guess we will never know the true story she had very close family though 37 male it's a mixture of anxiety depression low confidence and just plain not taking chances due to freezing not realizing i had a chance etc at 37 it's a lot more difficult to meet people what with working i find myself drained of energy a lot of the time and then the anxiety about going to dating event ctc has overcome me on several occasions i've only been on one speed dating event which actually wasn't too bad on the night but i generally get put off because i don't see myself as having much of a chance in meeting anyone the only women that have shown interest are generally those i've worked with for a while but where i work now is limited a few women have in hindsight been interested but i was not really aware of the signals at a time and they have tended to make the first move as i haven't got the ball's confidence to do so it's generally been on the last day of work etc so i don't see them afterwards and then have been too ashamed to follow up i don't actually think i am a bad catch that much i have some issues like a bit lazy low confidence etc but i have a good well-paid job i'm a good height generally get on with people no aggressive tendencies etc i tend to be more awkward around women now because i am ashamed of still being a virgin so it's now more of an uphill battle i know a person who's 52 and still a virgin he once ran over his car over a couple of homeless people he has also killed a black buck yet he roams freely on the streets that went from zero to 100 real freaking quick my friend was a virgin well into his late 30s he was a fun and bright guy with a rather obvious alcohol problem he was also extremely desperate he did the creepiest and cringy stuff to pick up a girl but was usually too drunk to realize or even remember it later on then one day he met somebody at work the only place where he'd show up halfway sober now he's no longer a virgin i suppose but what's more important has stopped the excessive drinking he's also no longer fun but i guess there's always a price to pay my husband's brother was the typical lost cause 39 years old still lived with his parents in a small town had an okay job but spent all his money on dvds and comics some travel but he didn't like doing it alone so not that much he had kind of given up all hope of ever finding someone my husband's first marriage broke down and he asked his brother to move in with him to help cover the cost of his mortgage slowly over the years his bother learned to adult to manage his finances better to talk to people and to get out more some friends convinced him to try online dating after a few misses he eventually met someone he clicked with they have been married now for about three years and couldn't be happier she is into movies and travel and lots of other things he thought no one would be interested in sharing with him he is 48 now and is happier than he's ever been he is proof that there is hope for anyone you just need to get out and meet people if you want to stand the chance of meeting the right person i'm nearly 42 never did it just a combination of what i now realize is probably asexuality an introverted nature a preference for my own company disinterest in sex and the soap opera of a relationship and a rather nice vibrator collection i have toyed with the idea off and on of hiring a male escort but a maybe as a 50th birthday present to myself i suspect i have better things to spend my money on if you are new to the channel you can subscribe i publish new videos every day until then check another video [Music] bye for now

Channel: Updoot Studios

Views: 45,402

Rating: 4.9109526 out of 5

Keywords: real life 40 year old virgin, virgin, abstinence, abstinence until marriage, abstinence benefits, abstinent, abstinence is cool, #updootst, updoot, updoot reddit, updoot everything, reddit on tap, toadfilms, pewdiepie, reddit, askreddit, funny reddit, reddit stories, top posts, reddit top posts, reddit cringe, comedy, reddit compilation, r/askreddit, top posts of r/, askreddit reading, best reddit posts, top posts of all time, people of reddit, askreddit question, ask reddit, subreddit

Id: JLl5VTm_uHM

Length: 26min 9sec (1569 seconds)

Published: Fri Jan 15 2021