Video games that haunted my childhood

if you were a '90s kid like me perhaps your family also had one of these big old chunky computers on a beautiful warm wooded pedestal you'd take the office chair for a spin click the power button with your big toe admire the sprawling Windows XP grasslands and figure out what to do in your parentally sanctioned 30 minutes of computer time now this thing couldn't handle much maybe Ms paint some good old pinball and Need for Speed Hot Pursuit at its lowest crunchiest settings and if you were a real 2000's game like myself you'd know stuff like Toontown would cause the fans to break the sound barrier and crash the computer which made dad mad so Dad brought your cute little gamer butt to the kids computer game section in Staples and that's where your adventure began with the 1992 classic putt putut travels through Time by Humongous Entertainment now who is putt putt well I thought he was the little dog but no putt put is this little purple convertible who guides you through different point and click style Adventures that feature math memory building skills and other mini games intended for kids ages 3 to 8 and in the game I got putt putt travels through time the dog jumps into the time portal that was the only character I cared about now we got to save him putt putt you are a horrible dog owner we also lost our lunchbox our calculator and our history report and you had to track down all four of those missing things to beat the game easy right wrong I was too young and too dumb to ever beat this game all I remember is scratching a dinosaur's back and getting lost in the desert but at the right bull age of 26 I decided it was time to revisit this lavender Lightning McQueen to see if this game was truly any fun or at least worth the 10 bucks my dad spent on it the first place we went looking for our dog was the dinosaur realm where we met a very kind brochi OA surus and who or what in the primordial oo are you I'm I'm going to start saying that thankfully when we explained we were a personified convertible from the future who slipped into a time portal on his way to the bus stop she was not only surprisingly unfaced but also very willing to help us on our journey Lord knows if this thing rolled into my living room I'd hit it with a hammer and I know this is a kids game it's fantasy but you got to admit their calmness about all of this is pretty funny I'm just saying everyone's like oh you're from the future cool want to help me with my bridge after we fixed the bridge I followed my putt putt senses to Yes baby it's him I knew it yeah yes yes you know what no no I remember playing this game I remember it taking forever and either it took forever or I didn't know my left and right I didn't even hear what he said this is probably what happened when I was a kid e all that a pad scratch and worked up quite an appetite so I was very excited to see my little circle dude friend had made us some primordial soup yes you're so why don't you keep it oh I get a free Bowl yeah but I had to stay focused I had to find my dog and those three other things I could care less about the next dinosaurs me and my new bowl ran into were a compath I had to Google how to pronounce that and a Triceratops who I didn't realize was standing on my history report I remember I need that piece of paper under his hand my history report oh but he was too lost in the tree star sauce to get his big old foot off my piece of paper so with nothing to beckon the Triceratops away from it and no pep to be found I zoomed over to the future and that's where I found my Smokey the fire engine lunch box unfortunately I had to trade it for my cool new bowl but after that I found a place where I could repaint my putt putt what can I do to help you I want to look like Lightning McQueen yes I remember this Kow hell yeah hell yeah hell yeah I also found a balloon maker and no one told me I couldn't take it so I stole it but there was nothing else the future could offer me so I mosied on down to the Old West Portal I remember these I need like a dollar while hunting for cash I found a rope an oil can some hay and finally employment yes this will fun my wagon wheel gummy habit here's your pay yes yes I got a blue one it's like a reward can I get another one it'll cost you a nickel Jesus Christ if I give you more oil will you give me another oh my God yes my train boss dropped me off at hubcap Hill where I found my calculator but of course a squirrel got a hold of it and dropped it in a treasure chest that snaap shut and locked typical Tuesday I know so I hopped back on Mr Train's wild ride and headed to the Gold River where this old man fished me out some keys that unlocked the chest to get my calculator and wham bam Christmas ham I now had two of my four missing items but before leaving chat what do you think should we get a gummy for the road get a gummy yes gummy gummy give me that gummy what are we going to get yellow you know very McQueen of us actually I headed back to Dinosaur Land where I was able to use the hay to bait the Triceratops off my history report leaving me with just pep missing and one last portal to jump through medieval times I helped this little wagon guy get his wheel back on dous their Rusty Gate with oil met because they pound a lot my friend over there pardon he does pound a lot and finally found my dog six stories up a castle wall well it's a good thing I stole that balloon maker cuz that's what saved pep wait is that it that mean the game's over wait wait I want another gun if I had know would I managed to complete this putt putt run in about an hour therefore this was definitely not a difficult game I was just six and an idiot final rating four out of five gummy Wagon Wheels I had to subtract one point for the offleash untrained animal that was unforgivable the next game I remember getting but never completing was Freddy fish 5 the creature of Coral Cove no I did not play Freddy fish 1 2 3 or 4 yes I remember my dad being concerned about this as well but thankfully I did not need to catch up on any Freddy fish lore to understand what was going on see in Freddy fish 5 the creature of Coral Cove there is a creature in Coral Cove anyone confused didn't think so Coral Cove is a park run by Mar sardini but mayor Marlin closed the park due to sea monster sightings this closure however is ruining Marty's business so he rallied up all the town's fish to figure out what to do and that's where Freddy fish and Luther come in they offer to track down this elusive sea monster and see what they can do to get it out of the park but before I could go into the park this Police Fish stopped me your only option is to get this permission slip signed by m Marlin okay that seemed easy enough but when I found him he wouldn't sign it unless I brought his Barber a specific comb for his fish hair this is called a fetch Quest and this game mechanic is in a million other beloved games however fetch Quest stress me out so much have you ever set out to do one simple thing like the dishes only to find oh you actually can't do the dishes cuz you don't have a sponge so you go okay guess I'll go to the store and buy a sponge to do the dishes but then you get in the car and you have a flat tire so you go oh guess I'll put on a spare tire to go to the store to get a sponge to do the dishes but then oh no I ripped a hole in my pants while getting the spare tire out of the car I need to put on new pants to fix the tire Tire to go to the store and it just keeps going and going and the task that should have taken you 10 minutes tops now takes a whole day to complete maybe it's the bad grades in math class talking but if I got to follow a whole order of operations in any capacity it will ruin my day and considering this was the first task of the game that should have been a huge red flag that this entire playthrough was going to be an uphill battle had I known such a frustrating experience was ahead of me I would have turned to today's sponsor Opera Opera is a free web browser but unlike the others Opera has some special features first Arya the native browser AI that can do quite a lot let's say you've got a simple question oh I don't know what species is Freddy fish using this easy access sidebar chat Arya can scan the web for an answer instantly look at that Freddy is a goldfish who knew now let's say you're looking for the right words to confront Freddy fish about the ridiculous amount of fetch quests she's sending you on but you don't want to get a call from from HR about it Arya can help you compose a much nicer message to better get your point across no matter what style or length you prefer thanks Arya and if something comes up you're unsure about you can use the Highlight tool tip for a brief explanation explore the topic or get a translation in real time thanks to its integration with the Opera web browser wow Arya if you were a fish and I was a frog I wouldn't eat you Opera also offers a VPN which allows you to surf the web privately by hiding your location and it doesn't log your activity or collect your information it's also free unlimited and the best part of all it's already built into the browser you just have to enable it now no one will know I was searching for frogs near me thanks Opera there's even more to enjoy with oppra a sidebar music player with quick controls to switch between seven different streaming services without leaving your browser they one-click ad blocker to keep all those stinking popups from slowing you down Messenger apps built into the side bar so you can stay connected on Facebook Messenger WhatsApp Telegram and more Opera even has personalized wallpapers including animated ones so don't be like me click the link in the description to download the browser that has it all thanks Opa but I thought no it's just a dumb kids game how bad can it be so I swam on over to the barber shop grabbed a comb and swam back to the mayor I need the number eight fin pick Jesus I grabbed number nine so I swam over grabbed the number eight Finn pck and swam back finally the mayor signed my permission slip and finally we could enter Coral Cove Park I remember this thing it's heavy relieved to finally be doing something plot relevant I continued into the park those mome kids are going to ruin my grand plan Luther and I explored the park found some sea urchins that's fish money and did our best to get acquainted with this massive map a necklace I think can I offer you cheese that's not going to do me any good how you don't know that Freddy the second red flag desperately warning me that this game was about to ruin my day was Freddy's passive aggressive little catchphrases she'd say when you did something wrong which is interesting considering Freddy did nothing when that same eel almost ate her little brother I'm an older sibling too but come on girl thinking I perhaps just didn't click on the eel in the right spot I offered him cheese again think I need that right now I don't like being gentle parented by Freddy fish but I took a deep breath moved on to another area and I was smacked with Nostalgia I remember this we have to like glue it back together and then go into the can I grab the pieces I can't I bet we could fix this jug if we used glue that's exactly what I said I reminded myself that having beef with a digital fish would be cringe so I collected some more sea urchins to get my mind off things but Freddy just couldn't help herself when I handed my cheese evidence to the police fish I can show it to the cop that's not going to do me any good you don't know that Freddy okay then I'll bring it to the mayor hey what do you think of this I don't think I need that right now okay this cheese then why don't you keep it Freddy cuz you love it so much guess I'll just do nothing swim around aimlessly and wait maybe I need this screw for something couldn't reach that screw but you know what I could reach these pliers on the ground next to an octopus the pliers I'll use those to take this big ship apart I can't find a bottle big enough to fit the thing hey I know where we can get but we need glue all right this is looking like another fetch quest with zero bearing on the creature of Coral Cove plot and I can do that but this ends here right we're not fetching and trading and running errands for the whole game right wrong for the next 20 minutes I swam in circles to buy a grabby thing to get the screw to put the sign up to save The Fish Guy to get some glue to fix the bottle to trade for that bottle to give to the octopus to get the pliers to give to our friend he looks like me to look at this giant piece of cheese under his microscope observe and after all of that we got ew ew what the EW by the way while that fetch Quest was happening I was also doing a separate fetch quest to buy some chips to give to the eel to get the necklace to give to the worker that's not going to do me any good it literally will to fix the claw machine to play the claw machine to get I don't have any money to find one sea urchin to play the claw machine to get a glow necklace and why would Freddy fish need a glow necklace because the key remember the key with the cheese on it okay I needed the claw machine glow necklace cuz when you unlock the door with the cheese key it's dark inside maybe this will take an hour wrong again okay so the glow necklace did illuminate the cave to reveal this three-step evil plan that the creature of Coral Cove conveniently left behind which did feel good to uncover I was finally doing something relevant to the plot but now I needed to find where the creature was hiding the deepest crevice of the ocean and then I will confront him with his silly little villain to-do list I then spent another 20 minutes trying and failing to find that deepest crevice of the ocean I'm about to look I'm looking up a walk through I can't I can't handle this big thanks to se 551 for trying to help but I could not figure this out for the life of me and I know what you're thinking Illy it's a kids game it's not rocket science and to that I say then why did it take another hour for my literal rocket scientist boyfriend to help me figure it out I got through it how the I guess it took like four or five tries all this game is teaching kids is to be desperate final rating zero out of five pieces of cheese waste of time not autistic friendly that's not going to do me any good nope that's it you're done get in the trash after that nightmare I was very excited to try a game that I never actually got the chance to play as a kid see my dad bought me paj amama Sam there's no need to hide when it's dark outside and I remember that game very vividly I played it and I beat it so many times which is what the developers were hoping for so that you would play the free demos they included in the main menu and subsequently beg your dad to buy you more games in the demo I played Sam was stuck in candy jail and the demo ended a little after breaking out and I begged my dad to get me this game but I never got it until now the game begins with Sam eating a bunch of cookies before dinner since he needs 20 box tops to win a prize remember Box Tops that's crazy anyway the cookies come to life and he chases them into the pantry where he is magically transported to a world of talking food sorry did I say talking I mean groovin look at Miss peppermint over here I'm going to tell my kids this was a adventure time we found our first box top we ate a giant piece of cake and then said goodbye to the dancing junk foods but when we explained we didn't want to spoil our dinner it became clear these guys had beef with broccoli yeah Jail jail and wham bam Christmas chocolate bar I was in the demo spot and there was the broccoli they had beef with I'm floret are you a political prisoner too and listen I've seen the headlines I've seen how parents and randos with anger issues react to pronouns in their video games so let this be your warning if you can't handle adjectives and nouns buckle up once floret and I broke out of candy jail and witnessed the hard candy police presence on the grounds we slipped over to the food pyramid and that's where I learned that little shindig we were just at yeah that was for the snacks and sweets aggressive majority party AKA Sam which is why I or Sam was brought there by the cookies they thought he was one of them until he mentioned partaking in other Foods so the sweets locked us up because they want full control control of the island of moptop and are willing to accomplish this by any means necessary including kidnapping delegates from other food groups to keep a peace conference from happening and Mr Carrot over here is trying to keep the general from declaring war so he needs our help to find the other missing delegates only two are here and there are supposed to be six oh my God news this is definitely breaking the Geneva conventions dare I say the stakes couldn't be any higher thankfully Mr Carrot gave us this handy list of missing delicates and what they looked like I'm really excited to meet the bagot guy I have a feeling he's going to have a really French accent so I began my search in the food pyramids other rooms and next to this adorable onion librarian we found a ticket for one free dance lesson weird but okay and now that the candy soldiers were gone I took a ride on this cute little dut tire swing [Music] also weird but okay I continued my exploration West but I was stopped by a pair of guards I mean gourds he's not a gourd so no you can't go in I'll just I'll come back when I'm a gourd I then came across a canyon of working gumdrops and I blew this horn to get them to clear my path little did I know that would mean quitting time hell yeah quit I hope they're unionized did you catch that I hope they're unionized that was just an off-handed joke but remember that up the mountain I came across a fortune cookie man with his riddles 3 I was uninterested so I skipped his dialogue continued on my Merry way and found it's him Mr Cheese howdy and his balloon was stuck in a suspiciously placed cotton candy Cloud so he needed just the right amount of weight added to his balloon to float down safely 10 lb of sand however he already had some sand in his balloon sandbag but he wasn't sure how much and this was starting to sound like I'd be solving for x so I ran away and I ended up at the ski slopes I wiped out went back for round two and that's where I found a plunger a third trip down the mountain brought no other prizes so I returned to my dut friend who revealed they also like to swim well float really I'm a good floater so I cut them down from the tree we floated on down the river but there was a french fry Dam blocking our path I love french fries especially with ketchup wonderful I brought him Ketchup from the condiment tree next door he tore into those fries I pondered the implications of this world and our path was opened easy one-step fetch Quest like God intended the river however led to a giant Beating Heart oh dear God ew a box top Mr donut could only take us so far into the arteries so we hopped off and explored and that's where we found poor Granny Smith Stu a dance mob I'm granny Smite get it right help I wasn't sure how to get the cans to stop dancing so I slipped away found a couple plumbers and admired their wrench they were very excited to talk about it but first wanted to make sure I was in the union the plumbers Union let's see your plunger I have one I showed them my plunger they accepted me into the union and let me have their wrench we're all plumbers here yeah we are on the way out my twitch chat told me to offer the dancing cans that free dance lessons ticket we found and it would have worked but the dance teacher said she didn't have the right shoes so she couldn't help and okay this is sounding like a fetch Quest but at least this game has heart right now I'm helping a carrot prevent a war by finding peace delegates and getting them to a big confidence yeah how delightful war is always such a filthy business oh my God this game is so B based and those were just the dance teachers down the road I came across a full-on strike and another missing delegate so I stepped into the manager's trailer for a quick chat work is good this guy doesn't know about the plumbers Union I wasn't able to uncover much in my investigative journalism so Mr donut and I floated over to Muscle Beach and I found a bag that I could fill with sand and then I found I am Pierre lean of the Breads and Grains group they made the sad little French guy a prize now I got to win him but I'm not oh box top I wasn't strong enough to ring the bell so I headed into the carnival where I came across a comedian whose jokes and punchline cards got all mixed up and he was bombing so badly that someone threw an entire pumpkin at him I followed him backstage stole the pumpkin to complete my gourd transformation helped him reorganize his jokes and as a thank you he gave me his big old shoes so I brought the dancer the shoes so she could give the cans a dance lesson so I could save granny SMI from the dance mob I returned to Muscle Beach to fill the bag with sand fix the leaky hose with my Union's wrench water the cauliflowers end the strong muffin dude's drawing session so they would return to working out thus making the ferris wheel operational so I could ride it ring the bell and free Mr French bread and now the last delicate left to save was Mr Cheese howy [Music] uh-oh I recovered the bag and headed back to Muscle Beach to empty out some sand but on the way when I tried to grab a box top that's when disaster struck okay so here's the thing my cursor oh oh no oh no I didn't save sadly the game crashed and I had to start over and even Sadlier with Humongous Entertainment Games the tasks and locations of missing items are different upon each new playthrough meaning I couldn't just repeat what I did in the last hour of gameplay I was in for a whole new game path that would take another hour to complete but honestly I didn't mind this game had so many good messages and the ending was sweeter than anyone could have anticipated all the best things to eat are made by different kinds of food working together so true and that's what you should all be doing wow put her there partner wow wait did they kiss wait hold on in the end I give this Pajama Sam game 10 out of 10 pro-union anti-war gay grilled cheese sandwiches test test test test test test yeah come on in look at that jump what he leaving okay bye what me two minutes be right there

Channel: illymation

Views: 606,987

Keywords: illymation, illymations, illyanimation, illystrations, storytime animation, animated storytime, animation, illymation real life, illymation face reveal, illymation ex, illymation boyfriend, illymation abusive boyfriend, illymation song, illymation animal crossing, illymation vidcon, illymation cat, illymation luigi, putt putt, putt putt saves the zoo, humongous entertainment, humongous entertainment games, freddi fish, pajama sam, pajama sam speedrun, pajama sam dougdoug

Id: ZfBRGP11FCg

Length: 23min 58sec (1438 seconds)

Published: Fri Jun 21 2024