Veterans, What Was the Funniest Thing You Saw During Basic Training?

veterans of reddit what is the most embarrassing thing that you witnessed all that happened to you during basic training possibly nsw there was an annoying guy when i was in basic barely passed the asvab but talked like he was the best and brightest there was and tried to act like he was in charge when none of our pos were around i ended up getting out on a hardship discharge but made sure to send him a cur package of lube and some play girl magazines with a note that said i don't mind if you need to use these just make sure i'm the one you still want when you get back home he had to open the package in front of everyone and from what i heard was never able to give anyone any crap after that embarrassing moment sucker had it coming to him i messed my ankle up pretty bad at mcrd san diego i know i know i'm a little bee they couldn't do the surgery to fix it in depot so idea sent to rsp to process out while there another recruit was showing off a picture of the girl he had waiting back home for him as he passed it around one guy grabs the picture looks the dude right in the eye and just starts beating off in the middle of the squad bay to the picture it was hilarious and nasty at the same time i have a few i was a drill sergeant a guy is put into a squat with his back against a wall while holding his rifle overhead for about a minute when led to stand his legs given up he collapses and pees on himself i inspect recruits before entering the mess hall i yell at one of them for something and he passes out in front of me a high-level inspection walks through the mess hall and they see a recruit not eating they ask him if there is anything wrong with the food and he says that he can't eat because sergeant looked at him oh lord i got into trouble all the time for talking one time in an effort to avoid this i felt around to see if anyone knew sign language it turns out yup someone sure did my tattletail yeoman told our chief that a shipmate and i were conversing in sign in a mess i a female was yanked out of bed around 2 a.m and taken to the boys division room one floor down in my navy nighttime attire the boys were awakened and forced to stand next to their bunks while i did date counts for over an hour i was mortified at first but by the end the looks of understanding from my mates made me feel a whole lot better one of the guys in my basic rotation had to pee on a ruck march when it's early august in kentucky you have to drink a lot of water and you're not going to sweat it all out he had done this before just whipped it out and sidestepped a few yards but i guess he thought that was too difficult and in his defense i find it difficult to take a pee in a urinal while wearing body armor let alone while walking and with a rucksack on your back so he took a canteen out of a pouch unscrewed the lid and filled it of course someone told a drill sergeant and needless to say that private had learned to use the bathroom before we set out in the guy morning my platoon from alaska was overheard by a drill sergeant talking about how much he couldn't wait to get back to anchorage and get baked this was i believe week 6 of 18 basic naturally they flipped out and turned his life into living heck for two days pretending he had to start basic all over again by having him pack up his crap while they did their yelling thing and then he spent two days in a new basic training company that had just started before bringing him back it was embarrassing because he cried like a little kid accidentally fired a blank into a charging barrel while clearing my weapon the drill sergeants tore me a new one never made that mistake again though honorable mention to getting hit so hard with an upwards swing of a pugel stick that my helmet came flying off those pugil sticks were fun i was matched against someone similar in size and with the masks and it didn't hurt much because neither of us could get a great blow in on each other you talk about getting tired though a 110 pound female could have whipped us both by the end of five minutes my first time on a firing range in basic i didn't know i wasn't supposed to stand at parade rest while talking to the drill sergeant on a range well while trying to mount my rifle on my shoulder for parade rest i accidentally flagged him with the barrel of the weapon he immediately corrected me telling me if i ever flag him again he will personally shove the barrel up my butt out of the corner of my eye i see another big black ds charging for me grabs me slams me into a sign and proceeds to also tell me if i flag his battle buddy again he will knock me out faster than i'll be able to gun him down after the catastrophe i turned around to see my entire platoon cracking up i was a ship staff yeoman when i was in boat navy and was in charge of taking problem recruits to whatever that office is there that's in charge of sending those recruits either home or back to the beginning for being a frick ups i had to sit with them until they were called in but it was just awfully embarrassing for me and i'm guessing them to go through this embarrassing grown men pee themselves because they didn't want to ask to use the head bathroom funny a recruit getting hit with an elbow to the solar plexus by a di kid wasn't butt pretty vanilla stuff you know how basic he is pretty much no women anywhere and an environment that's not the most conducive to fapping well a fella i met there was talking to me about how he would just do it at night while lying in his bunk and not clean up afterwards he'd just ejaculate over his stomach and wash it off in the morning jesus dude nothing much other than that well one guy did get drummed out on his first day after slipping while rushing down a flight of stairs and cracking his wrist open does that count as embarrassing personal story here i went to air force basic in 2004 some backstory i didn't have previous recorded knowledge of it but i have a medical condition called fabria's disease that causes pretty severe heat intolerance and an inability to sweat i didn't really know how bad it was because i've always been an indoors person but i needed to get out of my parents house so i made the decision to join up it gets pretty hot in texas in the summer so i'm experiencing heat exhaustion nearly every single day and being sent to sick call every other day drink more water yep anyway after passing out in full chem gear during warrior week air force basic outdoor training and such they put me in admin hold for a month and discharged me for medical reasons they called me sickly boy in my first flight and i got recycled to a second flight for being unable to pass the physical requirements to move into warrior week only the run past the other parts nothing quite like being called a liar repeatedly for a legit medical illness pretty embarrassing another funny one that born again redditer fellow dragon reminded me of was the night before graduation of chemical school we decided it would be an amazing idea to hook up the canteen straws of our gas masks to bottles of liquor and have a chugging contest some poor girl got a bottle of cheap whiskey and started to pound it through her mask she never had wixie before so she starts to throw up in her mask from the alcohol then throws up again because she has it all in her nose mouth and mask finally she rips it off and starts throwing up everywhere next day we had to turn in all of our equipment until her mask was rejected because it smelled like and i quote vomit and bad decisions one of my rdcs was just about five feet tall female and had a stuttering problem it really sucked because it was kind of funny when she'd be in your face yelling at you you couldn't help but laugh i ended up doing a lot of push-ups and eight-count bodybuilders in boot it was embarrassing at the time since we weren't really tight yet but the strangest experience was the mecha we picture three flights of guys 60 getting crammed naked into a room with only 15 show heads the sick part is we all started to think it was funny and when karda turned us loose to shower we'd all ruin and kill each other to get in the door all while howling lee charak and nuts to butts another time carder wanted to save time so they put three dudes in a portage john at once two peed in the sit-down hole while another went in the urinal on the wall when i was in basic fall of 2005 a guy in my flight seemed to really hate authority he didn't respond to t.i who yelled at him he wouldn't do push-ups and crap when instructed too after about a week or so of this nonsense rtis had him arrested by the security forces a week or so later we found out that he was autistic not military but family of military and it was the best thing i ever saw in the base step dad is now retired military five years back went to fought riley to see him knowing him as a big goofy dnd nerd i expected i gave him a huge hug being as he's already considered me his daughter this young 20 something dude whips around and looks at me from his task of cleaning the floor with a nail brush and suddenly my dork of a step dad morphs into a raging bull of fury screaming if he ever even glanced my direction again he would kick his overly tanned butt back to california i about died laughing from the terror this guy had in his eyes because being his daughter i thought it was funny to see him play the mr angry army man finally an ask credit thread i can actually have a story for though seven hours late to the party so it will be burrowed in my basic there was a larger kid whose name was doody which that alone got him ripped on non-stop while being bigger the run was a hard event for him it was two days before graduation and literally his last chance he had to pass they could give him no more tries after that mornings a group of us get asked to run with him for support and we agree it's 10 minutes and he kind of pans yells he has to crap the drill sergeants tell him he better hold it or crap himself because he can't stop he holds it for exactly a minute crap started pouring down his leg the downwind aroma kicks my nose in the balls but we still cheer him on for having the heart he crosses the finish line to be told he still failed by about a minute my dorm chief pee himself three times first time was a few days after we got there and were waiting to get p tested okay whatever we forgot about it but then he pee himself in formation and then again in his blues yeah that guy i am not without humility though one night i threw up on a guy while we were in line waiting for something i wasn't sick but i threw up in my mouth and swallowed it back down twice third time i couldn't get it down and needless to say it went everywhere it was early enough in basic nobody remembered who did it this is not embarrassing and the way most of these posts are but dang this kid had to have felt everyone's eyes on him after it happened we were conducting our convoy live fire which consisted of us riding in the back of a truck juice and a half i believe we were lined up in the back in two rows facing out and we would drive through the range and each side would fire at different times where there was a safe backdrop well they would shout the orders at us to go amber load a magazine go red chamber a bullet weapon on fire fire then they would yell green green green put weapon on safe drop the magazine from the well and lock your bowl to the rear after that you want to pull your weapon in and point the barrel down between your feet well this kid must have gotten too excited or nervous and he dropped his magazine pulled his weapon in without clearing the round in the chamber or putting the weapon on safe well as soon as he pointed his weapon between his feet it went off and shot right between his feet and through the bed of the truck needless to say he had a rough next couple of weeks article 15 the whole works i remember being in the staging area and hearing the drill sergeant go over the radio and say are you going to bring him back now or stop and beat the crap out of him there anyways he was pretty embarrassed as you might think on a side note he was sent to the sick hall for some reason and ended up at the hospital while he was waiting to be picked up he got hungry and bought something from the vending machine because the ds was late while the ds showed up about two minutes later another article 15 for him tl dr always clear your weapon couple of them but these other stories have mine beat by a long shot air force by the way one guy was watching a baby flight at night they gave him their mail to put in the box since they weren't allowed to yet he brought them back to our dorm after being relieved and left them on top of his locker we didn't see him anymore the other was our dorm chief two element leaders and our house mouse buying candy and crap at the chapette with about three days till graduation they all got pushed back two or three weeks i think mine was not long after we got to basic we were all sitting in the day room have to sit cross-legged and our ti started yelling at us to stand up so i go to jump up on my feet apparently how i was sitting my legs fell asleep yeah that didn't end too well one kid in my flight in basic forgot to put his cover on as he was coming out of the dining hall our ti caught him and made him stand outside and tell everyone that came out the door i'm in butthole that forgot to put on my cover this only went on about five minutes until another ti came out the door to his greeting then got about two inches from his face and screamed get out that all happened about two minutes before another trainee came out and puked his guts out in formation because he ate too fast let's see while i was in navy boot camp one recruit snored at ridiculous volume one night another recruit couldn't take it anymore so he walked over and dumped his canteen on the guy's head the next night we wake up to screaming and struggling turns out the snorer got revenge by peon canteen guy's head in the middle of the night while one sister was in navy boot camp they did an inspection and found that one of the recruits had been keeping all of her used tampons in the drawer of her locker while another sister was in navy boot camp after their swim test they found that one female recruit had gone to the bathroom couldn't find any toilet paper and wiped herself with another recruit's towel she they put the towel back where she found it covered in crap and menstrual blood during one of my deployments we found out that a guy in our squadron while temporarily assigned to work in the galley was too embarrassed to ask where the closest bathroom was as he served food to people he stood there and pee himself at the end of the day he stuffed his pee soaked uniform into his locker and left it there until it was found during an inspection brought about by the horrendous stench those are the ones off the top of my head i was in army basic training at featuring leonard wood missouri my company was out on our week-long field exercise a couple days into it tensions were running high all around my platoon was standing in formation and rpg platoon guide the basic trainee put in charge of the platoon it rotated pretty often at the time mouthed off to our drill sergeant because of that the entire platoon was set to low crawling up and down a slight slope over and over again well the pg that mouthed off was still flapping his jaw pretty loudly just swearing and saying it was all bs and that sort of thing i was pretty close to him and told him to keep his mouth shut till we were just going to get it more anyways we exchanged some words and it got pretty heated eventually he said something that pushed me over the edge something about my mom or something and i jumped on top of him and was close to smashing his face with the butt of my rifle i held back needless to say it caused quite a commotion and we were called to r1sg where we explained ourselves the first sergeant decided instead of writing us up we were going to fight it out using army combatives but for those that don't know army combatives is sort of a mix between normal wrestling and mma it was starting to get dark out and so they circled up the company and broke open a couple glow sticks and made a ring on the ground they cleared out the bigger rocks on the ground but left the smaller ones for us to grind each other's faces on this guy was a high school wrestler while i had zero experience this guy was superior to me in every way size muscle everything the fight was to last 20 rounds of tap outs or choke outs i wasn't going to tap out so with the entire company watching this guy choked me out 20 times the card never stopped it until i was out and never stopped it early despite seeing how mismatched we were i could tell when it was all over most of the company were pretty sick about it well shoots crap had a guy on dmq who had to be carried off to the hospital in the dead of night because he had beat off using clp a weapon cleaning and lubricants to beat off and developed a severe reaction to it i went through air force basic training at grand ol lockland afb for those that haven't had the experience everyone gets assigned one or more duties that you're responsible for during your time in bmt i was a water monitor this is my story the water monitors are the first pair of trainees from each flight to enter to chow hall and the last ones to eat the job of the water monitor is to take position at the water station on the chao line and keep an abundant supply of filled water glass is ready for your fellow trainees to pick up as they move through the line simple enough unfortunately the path to get to the water monitor station passes you directly in front of the snake pit which is the table where the mti is frequently yell at people one of the last things that you encounter on the procession through the chow line is a dessert case the dessert case was a baited hook of cakes and pies and brownies and cupcakes designed to lure you to your doom because on no account were you ever ever ever to touch the dessert case that was a death sentence so now the stage is set i'm in my position filling water glasses enter our star a new recruit still in civilian clothes moving through the chow line acting like a fool i looked at the mti stalking the show hall they had taken notice and glances cut back and forth like swords in a hong kong theater feature film fight scene and then it happened he breaks from the line and makes a line for the dessert case at this point everything is frozen in time and you can see the mti is getting ready to pounce he opens the case and gets himself a slice of triple decker chocolate cake pandemonium erupts us through an unknown pocket of magma hot chaos suddenly and explosively breached the ground of the chow hall and this kid was right in the middle of the [ __ ] storm he couldn't get his crap straight fast enough and then one ti got in there and the others got quiet and backed up the now central t i leaned into this kid and talked really quietly the quiet ones were always the worst but i didn't hear the exchange that took place i only heard the ti's response which was to suddenly start screaming ooloo on my iii he throws chairs and turns around towards the wall and starting to try to climb it like he was freaking spiderman out of nowhere all the while still screaming i have to get away from your dip shittedness in another set of circumstances this was the part where i would have been laughing beyond my ability to continue respiration but there and then i didn't bear 1968 paris island somebody fricked up so we're all doing jumping jacks in place in front of our racks the guy across from me is six feet seven inches tall and of p movie proportions his little private exits his skivvies and proceeds to slap against his abs on every up all three drill instructors four hour platoon gather in front of him to marvel the senior d.i turns to me and orders me to go get the dis from the other three squad bays in our barracks i do as i'm told the platoon continued the exercise for almost an hour with a total of eight drill instructors making comments like how it's a 155 big blooper and so on the private in question smiled the whole time was promoted to pfc and was awarded the dress blues 4-hour platoon on graduation day he achieved the rank of staff sergeant before his four-year enlistment was up and two tours of vietnam he told me at a reunion that his reputation followed him over the course of his enlistment he performed jumping jacks in every unit to which he was assigned salute my bunkmate went crazy and eventually snapped on my ti after she dumped his locker after an inspection she called for the biggest guy we had in our flight to come stand between her and the kid he comes running up and puts his back to the ti human shield fashion without skipping a beat ssgt ross tells him he's facing the wrong way and that he's not protecting her from the trainee but the trainee from her and made him turn around and face her the standoff ended shortly after with sps busting in and dragging the kid off it was pretty cool we also had a guy that could and would steal anything after we got done with kp he always had pockets lined with pop-tarts and enough peanut butter packets for the whole flight most nights our brother flight found out and tried it but they got in trouble and tried to blame us for starting it during amnesty hour we told our t.i and she got so mad she stopped amnesty hour and made us sit in the day room quiet for the rest of the rlo usmc got got caught washing out his crusty socks one sunday morning had to stand in front of each platoon's door and yell i got my socks pregnant two standing in formation waiting for all the platoons to finish lunch and watched a seagull march back and forth on a guy's cover hat four five newts while all the dis stood 15 feet away and and laughed at him called him birdie and bird [ __ ] as well as a few other names the rest of boot camp if you are new to the channel you can subscribe i publish new videos every day until then check another video [Music] bye for now

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Keywords: veterans, military, army, in the army, army training, military training, military training exercises, military training fails, #updootst, updoot, updoot reddit, updoot everything, reddit on tap, toadfilms, pewdiepie, reddit, askreddit, funny reddit, reddit stories, top posts, reddit top posts, reddit cringe, comedy, reddit compilation, r/askreddit, top posts of r/, askreddit reading, best reddit posts, top posts of all time, people of reddit, askreddit question, ask reddit, subreddit

Id: EePW98Ln_xQ

Length: 22min 59sec (1379 seconds)

Published: Mon Aug 31 2020