UNHhhh 139: Ready 4 Love

how funky is your chicken how funky is your chicken how loose is your grease my hole is totally loose you know when you have an outfit made for something and then you think of it for that yes like you'll always think of this as my eating dress this is when you were at little hammer competing in the 1992 92 that's right yeah yeah and those skates wouldn't tie no i had to go up to the judges and show them your broken skate and i said i forgot that okay can i have a score anyways did i tell you about sean white when i worked with him and he told me and i was like he's like congratulations on winning drag race i was like you have four olympian gold medals yeah thank you yeah but you don't compare to me i'm well i want a cross-dressing reality show competition yeah you slid down a hill hi i'm looking for love in all the long places trixie mattel and i have been rubbing my on the bathroom towels again and welcome to the show where we talk about whatever we want because it's our show and not yours no no no we yeah [Music] let's talk about love wow i do love love i really do if you can't explain being in love to a person who's never been in love how would you explain it i don't know to be frank i um i'm ready to fall in love obviously look at this outfit she's a russian hooker he's a bald bossy bottom get ready to barf because this december katya is ready for love this film is banned everywhere look at this outfit it says cry for help can i say something i don't want you to [Music] can i say something no you cannot say it yet because i have to tell you why i'm in love with the idea of becoming in love i'm ready to be controlled to the last i'm ready to be micromanaged scrutinized and completely possessed by an italian-american man that's not what love is just so you know it's not it sounds like you want to be in an abusive relationship that's exactly what it is i say attentive okay [Applause] it's not that you're not lovable it's that i can't imagine you being in love with somebody it happened once it did who was it wow i'll play cue the music yeah throw the microphone it happened once and it was not requited really yes a long time ago really many many years ago are you making this up because when you're telling a real story when you're telling a fake story they sound exactly the same so i never know what's happening you want a boyfriend tell people you have a boyfriend because gay men pine for nothing more than something they can't have if you start wearing a wedding ring people will want to be your boyfriend what about a wedding dress wedding dress left at the altar sympathy guy guys don't want sympathy which is the name of your new fragrance the name of my new fragrance sympathy it's the least you can do it's a look well that's kind of good this is my i'm falling in love why in this scenario are you running oh why wait why are you why are you going oh i fell in love like you pissed your pants oh i'm falling in love down my leg oh i fell in love ow ooh ow because call the call doctor what happened is when i when i came home from the math tournament i declined to ride i said i would walk it summertime and i fell on a lawn dart that went up my and i started to pee and i felt i'm losing it i know isn't it i'm listening i'm asking you for real yes if you were to be in love what do you think that person would be like let me tell you his name is diego but i'm flexible on the name in the name only so um i'm pretty open but his name has to be yeah i worked it out he's about 38 to 42 he's from mexico city comes from money but he made his own in um uh music engineering he's a mathematical mind he loves music and shapes and patterns he's not very good with languages but he does speak english and he moved to la about four years ago but has yet to have like a real good social circle we meet at a club on a sunday at 4 or 6 p.m like a tea dance for goth people i will say this you do have a little bit of an obsession with youth and beauty and you do like younger guys i think you would probably fall in love with someone younger than you i don't think so i don't want that i don't i just told you that guy have you been in love since you were 16 uh let's say just let's say notable infatuations sure that's about it though notable infatuations which is the name of your dating service notable infatuations and it's like it's absolutely notable infatuation sponsored by sympathy could you be in a throuple no triangles are not good a triangle is the strongest shape every side equally leaning on each other but that that that sort of uh right that was some smart i love myself but what if you don't wait at the same you're not then you're an isosceles yeah yeah i mean yeah there's got to be something in it for me though i now have decided i need a french speaking boyfriend really yeah i need to practice what's the most i mean what's the most reliable that's the best thing about relationships is what language do i want to learn i'm not joking that's me megan my friend megan we only we only saw men as a as a means to a linguistic end somebody who helped because you need a lot of practice you need to be doing the inside but you know what french people love to do speak english perfectly they're not trying to help you they're surely not chinese perhaps that's a little too ambitious i'm in my 40s yeah also why do you need to know french i don't need i want because he's french oh that's what i that's what i uh so you want wait you want a boyfriend to teach you french because you need french to speak to him because he's your boyfriend that's a perfect triangle perfect triangle i stayed up all night first time i fell in love stayed up all night with butterflies in my stomach can i share an important story with you for my youth give me that give me that give me that mirror would you okay it's about jumping off in the mall i was at a hotel that was connected to a mall i was walking around the mall and i was like i want to get a little action right not at the mall in my hotel room so this guy was like meet me at the second floor of the neiman marcus in the handicapped stall and i'm thinking to myself girl i'm not 12. also i have a hotel room yeah come here so let's go to the hotel room okay straight right come to the hotel room tries the chaser he said oh i can't get i can only like get into it if it's public and i'm like okay damage get out of here right i mean okay so then he goes ugh i guess i'll be at the second floor then even marcus and he leaves and i was like yeah okay bye three you went i'm not going to confirm or deny what happened because i'm too famous to drop an anemone union marcus you need this markup you did i need this markup that's what they should call it they made this markup but let's just say you did get you been falling in love [Music] i um but i thought you wanted to be in love you said you were ready to be sounds like you're ready no i'm just kidding um why do you want to be in love oh um i think because i've i've completely grown and changed over the last two days sorry she's outgrown yeah oh then she's been panhandling for change for two i've been taking part in this um intimacy workshop in maine and after two and a half days i've decided that not only have i grown as a person i've completely transformed and i'm ready to love and i want to do it now and now you're teaching your own class yeah sign up for my class yeah how to be available make yourself available don't miss out on the chance to love mm-hmm yeah i find falling in love to be very simple i know that's not relatable content i think it's simple but i really never had a problem like i think i just the personality type where i can bond with a lot of different types of people i don't think i'm that person i mean it's not because i'm lucky and like the right men to run at me i think maybe i'm just very like well you want to be in i'm hungry order for me do you don't even figure it out fellas my legs are open i'm not a picky eater gotcha this is not very complimentary to a boyfriend though that hair no what you're saying the back of that i'll choose anybody no because then the back of that wig is not very complimentary this is the this is the this is the accurate metaphor for what you've got like what i've got going on invisible tracks yeah balding in the back visible tracks could go at any moment snatched up to in the front exposed skin in the back exposed tumor yeah um like literal like wound wound exposed wound in the back but that's me i am very do you need guys to have big no i was just gonna say i really don't micro penis micro penis i'll find that what's in the back that's what i want to know what's hanging like a minivan we talk about the plight of people with micro penises we haven't talked about the people with micro asphalt that's a struggle can't even see it it looks like people think it's a freckle looks like they got a piercing at claire's did you go to piercing pagoda and get your ass done loving you as a friend is pretty easy okay very lovable person okay she haven't you noticed that everybody who meets you loves you that's true yeah i'm not i'm not like i'm not you know [Music] i i don't i don't often you know i i definitely do love you very much but to me that just means you know yeah i love me too i love you and some oh and i showed it to my boyfriend he goes that's your best friend and i went i know i know and then i said you know what i have that mask and those in my closet those two people found each other birds of a feather mama birds of a [Music] feather if you have a question you can tweet at world of wonder using the hashtag while hello how do i subtly drop a hint to my friend that i let him rail me harder than a bullet train if he asked i don't just say just do what this one does what oh yeah it's just i'll say it i say hi i am very sexually attracted to you and i want to know if you want to talk right now if you're interested let me know i'll give you some time i'm not going to put you on the spot your fear of rejection has to be out the window yeah yeah yeah that's the thing you got to let that go yeah you find out they don't want to do it to you it's not because you verbalized it worst thing you lose a friend people make friends every day also somebody could just say i don't have sex with you and you can still go out and be friends boom and also don't be weird don't put them in the sometimes it's manipulative where you can kind of like well famous people can be crazy about it you could convince anybody to sleep with you if you're famous it has happened to me i've slept with somebody really hot yeah and then i find out after the fact that they've slept with a lot of drugs yeah drag race queens oh i don't know i'm like that's why you slept with me pokemon go yeah the bone collector yeah i hate that there's a catch yeah if people are way hotter than you there's a catch there's a catch there's a catch there's this guy online on um he's a model of some sort he has the most beautiful face of everything in my life the most proportionally muscular perfect human body ever hair eyes lips teeth everything and then the tiniest look well and it's it's like you know sometimes there's a tiny look yeah i mean has anybody ever has a hook-up ever been ruined because it's a small no that's not a never never that's not a thing no there's so many other things you can do so many wrap presents stretch it out yeah if it's small i'll just pawn it take us longer i'll add my own taffy bullet i'm taking it off i'm throwing it like pizza dough [Music] make this work i'll stick a strawberry in there yeah okay if you can't take me if you can't take me out my fake silicone tunic then you don't deserve me at my bald silicone helmet yeah if you can't handle me at my brown chiclets you don't deserve me at my full veneers porcelain you can't handle me at my stamp you don't deserve me at my piercing

Channel: WOWPresents

Views: 3,200,317

Rating: 4.9755206 out of 5

Keywords: world of wonder, world of wonder productions, wow report, rupaul's drag race, trixie, katya, mattel, zamo, zamolodchikova, unh, unhhhh, drag, queen, rupaul, rupaul’s, race, love, date, dating, dates, relationship, boyfriend, hookup, hook-up

Id: tMllRsyltrk

Length: 13min 18sec (798 seconds)

Published: Wed Dec 09 2020

Reddit Comments

[u/salicariaa]

not the trixya stans thinking katya was referencing trixie when talking about an unrequited love

[u/boredgerm]

I'm afraid that this episode will lead to fanfic

[u/Empty-Tea]

Never forget that girl that read them erotic fanfic at dragcon when they specifically asked her not to