Type 3 (The Achiever) Enneagram Type Description With Richard Rohr

three let me describe that real succinctly they both prefer the heart and yet they repress the heart can you see the the the conflict that's there inside of them they want to be relational loving caring people and they are but they also want to do something with it huh their their dynamic and the true meaning of a dynamo they're dynamic people who want to move life toward action I always say they grease the wheels of life if you want to get things done if you want to get the show on the road you better get a three at your side I mean they're masters out of their Naturals at it they immediately intuitively see how to organize something for the greatest sense of efficiency they're there their self-esteem comes from competence in the outer world competence in the outer world and I want to tell you a secret about a3 it'll help you love them they often they come to tears when they recognize this there's this terrible deep fear in a3 that he or she would not be lovable if they weren't producing that you'll forget about me you won't like me well why would you like me you know what's that whole thing we all face no one would like me the only thing you could like is my product so I'll keep giving you a product and they become masters at the production of product whatever it might be and that will keep you loving them that will keep your heart oriented toward them and they are very heartfelt people but because of that inner conflict they they also are out of touch with their heart in a certain way huh to be honest threes can be and we see it in the you know stereo typical American businessman can be very superficial because that heart is so conflicted is so torn there are needy little boys and girls of I want to please you I want to make you happy I want to give you what you want there was a Franciscan who worked with me in Cincinnati in the earlier it was a great three now works in Europe as the head of Franciscans international he can whip anything into shape but we got to be very close and he would share his soul with me and vice versa and you know for John to enter a room he looks like the essence of self-confidence and everybody would assume he doesn't have an ounce of self-doubt which is normally what you project onto a three they looked so competent that you think there's not an ounce of self-doubt and he says the moment I enter a room he says on an unconscious level I'm assessing it to see how I can impress them it isn't even conscious it's but it's it's it's in the emotional inner world but how can I succeed here how can I get this show on the road how can I make it happen so everything is to make it happen which they do and it comes with great ease to them you can see now why the world calls America the three country because what it sells out to is what we call Yankee pragmatism you know for the American if it works it's true we're not interested in philosophical truth we're not interested in theological truth hmm if if the war appears to be working America is all for the war as soon as the war appears to be failing we're all against the war it not says well is there any theological philosophical reason why you're either for or against we're no you know it's just if it works it's true now that's the worst state of the three workability we call it pragmatism a kind of need to be on the correct team to be affiliated with thing that's going somewhere I don't even need to know the rules of the game I just need to know that my game is work I they they there are Naturals at political savvy they read the political thing in terms of who's got the power and what's going to finally come through it's second nature to them whereas the rest of us maybe it could be very naive about where's the power in this room where's and I don't mean power in the sense of domination that's going to come more with the eight with the three it's just power as shareability and and how can we organize it so this group of people can work together do you see and in that sense they can be very very effective community builders because they know how what you need what you need what you want what you came here for okay how can we put this together [Music] it's pretty amazing I don't have a natural eye for that at all and I've invariably had a three helping me to put this show on the road I mean this whole new resource guide you see somewhere here you know like I can't believe all the stuff I've taped it's it's embarrassing to see all my books and tapes it takes a three I won't mention any names here but it's a man in this room who who says okay how can we put all that together and make it available for people and and make it work I don't know how to make Richard sellable or workable we ones aren't really ambitious we're righteous I'm sure you can hear it every other word or righteous and arrogant ones are ambitious now let me describe that ambition and that's what can make them deceitful it's probably what got Martha Stewart into trouble since we talked about I'm in a classic classic three off the wall huh who has to turn everything into marketability and sell ability and attractiveness and and she does I mean god she's good I mean threes are good at what they do they don't they don't sell it unless it's a tractive and and she's a master at it but it leads them into this kind of sometime you know playing with the edges of things I don't know if she did it or didn't do it and don't even care but the the ill-will I see toward poor Martha I'm sure in part is because she's a woman and you are women no that is what men don't like strong women who get such things done but I want to add in this context it's partially because she's a three a lot of people don't like threes because they they run circles around us they just they get too much done and they're always good-looking besides I this tells me there's some connection with body shape and body self-image you know I'm sure little kids who are really cute probably get noticed a lot more unfortunately we fawn overall isn't she adorable and that little boy or little girl oh I'm adorable you know people like me you know well I'd start doing my dance wouldn't you I mean no you start doing your little dance hey what pleases people all right this pleases people this pleases mama this pleases daddy in a sense the three is even more a pleaser than the - they're both pleasers but the two pleases individuals the three pleases systems you understand they they are actually more impressive in a group than they are one-on-one it's very interesting I'm told this I don't want to offend anybody's Catholicism but bishops who have had one-on-ones with the Pope who I'm convinced is a three they say as a one-on-one he's not nearly as impressive he can for whatever reasons I don't want to reveal some of the individual stories that were told but but we've all seen him on the stage no I mean the the youth of Europe just in odd the three knows how to play the crowd the group they know how to lead a group and and a group gives them the authority they're natural leaders I would say half of the American presidents of this of the last century were threes John Kennedy clearly a three they they almost relate to you to the camera better to the stage better to the public forum better than they do the individual it's really really amazing very often when you're with them privately they have to struggle for the right word to describe their inner feelings but they'll stand up and they'll just you know sort of stellar performance stellar performance is very very interesting but it is this heart conflict which which is a suffering for them because they want to be personal and they are personal and they are hard people but they on a certain level this is humiliating for him to admit if they had to choose between person and product they'll choose product over personal you know the the the sell ability of the product you see and that's another piece that sometimes makes people dislike or mistrust threes because we're afraid I'll be swept up in that and maybe he'll use me and that's why the worst thing a three could do but sometimes does is use people for the sake of the product and they're so glib they're so good looking they're so efficient they're so attractive that you tend to let them do it and and then when you're halfway down the line you start resisting it why'd I let her him talked me into that you know they're very hard to resist threes are very hard to resist they're they're always selling themselves to the group but again I want to say out of the other side of my mouth they're good at it in terms of leading the group organizing the group recognizing the gifts that are there that's where they're great both the three and the four or potentiate errs in seeing talented people the person just walks in the door and I've seen our executive director do that too and and he'll come to me you know I think she could do that oh and I said I never would have thought of that yeah I bet she could you know they just see it it's really extraordinary gift all of these gifts which you've developed for 30 years are second nature to you so I do want to keep emphasizing that they are gifts but it's fast food it's it's the too glib the too quick solution do you see it's it there isn't always long-term food from the three they're natural competitors their natural winners they know how to tell a lie and make it not sound like a lie the the used-car salesman I guess Dale Carly how to tell a lie and be sincere about it you know and is it any surprise that the Dale Carnegie course went on for years in America that appeals to us it's just it's our way of thinking the the need is that need to be successful success becomes an idol in their life and that's why failure is a necessity they must for the sake of their soul fail right there usually has to be one major poor Martha's in the middle of it right now you know and you just hope she has the spirituality to learn from it and to say okay Martha this had to happen in terms of the soul you have to suffer one great defeat by your miss reading of a situation the three has to eat their failure what they'll normally do and they're masters at it is to turn their failure into a success god they're good at it you know they'll rearrange it in their own mind and in your mind it's why I think most threes need to be married to have a healthy life because a healthy marriage as you all know many of you what it does for you is one person who is your truth speaker yeah who doesn't let you off the hook and there's one person the three can go home to and be naked with and I mean that in every sense be naked with I am Who I am and cry with that person and fail with that person you understand you know me for who I really am and finally there's one place where I don't have to be stellar I don't have to shine I don't have to succeed with you and I mean they just I remember this nun and since then I had just broke down in tears I was able she worked with me for many years as a three I was able by the grace of God to really love her and accept her as a person when that broke through one day that I did not love her because she was my right-hand woman but because she was Pat she you know the tears could not stop so they need one person like that where they can finally be loved for who they are and I don't we all want that of course I mean every one of you in this room once that I do too well someone loved me for who I am not just because people think I'm important or whatever and that's what the the three thinks that the only reason you like me is because I'm important and successful so many of them go toward roles and titles and totally immerse themselves there's a lot of bishops who are threes I'm afraid a lot of heads of everything who are threes because role and title and costume and hat special hats are special anything just reassures the three that I am I have a role and I'm significant they're far too tied to roles and so to help them spiritually you have to help them detach and can you just be built today and not build vice-president of the corporation that's what hopefully they can be with their wife their husband with their spiritual director or their father confessor we're one place we we all have to be where we can be naked and loved apart from our roles apart from any title image is very important to a3 and that's why very often God has to take it away from them so they can fall back in to who they were before image before self-image we've made a whole art form out of this we call it Madison Avenue the selling of image the manufacturing of image the communicating of image as if it's substantial reality when Madison Avenue is nothing more than images and yet it makes billionaire's out of people the selling of images is it any surprise that the movie theater or the the motion picture has become the American art form we're masters at it we really are I mean when American movies are good they're really good because we really know how to communicate the image so the four-winged is already coming in this artistic creativity of the four but putting it on film and transporting it to the whole world can you see that's the the so Hollywood is like a combination of three and four creativity with product Bill Clinton was undoubtedly a three I think Ronald Reagan was probably a three it's just we will keep electing three's president I think Bush is a six Kerry might be a three could well be another three but we'll probably keep electing threes because they mirror the level of consciousness of this country right it's what we admire it's what we like winners who look like winners and all you have to do is have a winners face and talk like a winner and that's our president he's going to be our leader because he reflects who we are does it work is the first question in a threes mouth will it work can you do anything with it will it go anywhere they there they're good at it but what what dawns on them somewhere in the middle of life is that in a certain sense their life is borrowed it's not their own you see and that's the liminal space the conversion moment I don't want to live someone else's emotions someone else's success someone else's agenda I I've got to say Who am I apart from success apart from public image apart from persona again usually some need to to move apart from the crowd to move apart from the world of appearance and attractiveness and good looks and and all the rest and money many of our people have translated this all into money that the making of money proves I'm a success it's of course a lie and the soul knows it that it doesn't say you're a success on that finally meaningful level but their self confidence comes precisely from workability from from the flow happening and when they get caught up in that flow it is so exciting to them they can probably work 20-hour days it it's amazing the amount of energy a three will have and not tire not tire because the dynamism itself is there food the the the creating of workability the the creating of success in other people's eyes but then they have to eventually pull it back what is really success in my eyes how can I be happy with myself and like the two I mean they almost want to cry they don't know damn it I don't even know what my agenda is or what would be happiness for me I've spent all my life trying to make you all happy and trying to make you all successful and trying to make you succeed they often tend to be very stereotypical feminine and very stereotypical masculine without working at it I think that's part of their attractiveness you know a woman whose a3 is feminine and sexy and and she's on the make two with the crowd that they love clever little phrases clever little one-liners you know that that in two words can pull together the whole conversation Stephen Covey you know the seven Habits of Highly Effective People I mean there is a philosophy for threes or the one minute manager I mean it's good stuff yeah I wouldn't disagree with any of it now and so they have this ability to make it concise and clear why it's more sellable all right and it's more manageable that's one of the reasons for American success in all the world I mean let's say some good things about our country I go to so many countries where I just want to say get to the point around it and around it and around it they talked and we American just say it you know just get right to it and and even the way I talk when I go to Europe they love it but I can see their little gosh she talks like an American you just as well goddamn i-12 he's not just we just we couple all of the extraneous stuff that's gonna get in the way and that isn't the point three's love what's the point here and I bet if you've been in a conversation with a3 they'll find it and what's the point what did you come here to talk to me about after they've gone on babbling for 20 minutes and you don't know what it is or where it is they're going they have no patience with that now that impatience will make you upset you'll feel all he's not listening to me which he probably isn't but but on another level he is listening to you and saying I want to do something with your message but give me a chance to do it you understand and and give it to me clean so they like clean phrases and quick a summary kind of phrases they're into charts and organizational manuals and all the rest of that huh they always look like they're being looked at you know glamorous models they don't dress down without trying they they put on nice clothes present their their best self and present it to you in a certain sense they look at themselves from outside and they know how they look I guess that's not completely wrong as long as you stay out there forever and that's their problem get inside what's going on in here if they don't do that the three becomes very very superficial and that's the international image of the Americans they get a lot done but don't expect much once you scratch the surface there's nothing underneath except cliches and clever phrases about making the world safe for democracy and all these things but the rest world feels we can't carry on in-depth conversations philosophically or theological ear psychologically it's just these clever one-liners that the three settles for and a three culture I think settles for so the animal is the racehorse they're natural racehorses they can't help it and they almost always win the race or the show horse not just winning the race but looking good while I went in the race it's a great skill huh the the peacock is also used now I know different animals have been used by different people but the peacock puts up its beautiful tail hmm and says look at me look at me you look at me and what you see is beautiful and it is attractive I know I said this but I will say it again because it makes the point and it's the way I was first taught it he said now Richard when you're spiritually directing a three remind them that when you cut off the tail of a peacock they're just an ugly chicken like everybody else and tell him to put their big tail down once in a while and just be a human being just be one of the crowd and honestly I can tell you this from the three sign they want to be that but they are convinced that you'll be disappointed if they're ordinary as sin that you won't like them anymore you won't invite them to your parties anymore you won't care about them anymore if you don't because the only possible reason you would like me do you see how self-hatred is that all of our hearts is because I'm I'm manufacturing success for you but when the day I'm not manufacturing success you're gonna drop me like a hot potato that's what they fear and very often to be honest not again to tie this up with parents that our parents made us do it but very often pears fries did have one parent whose love was very conditional one almost without exception one parent who they learned very early the only way I'm going to get dad's love or mom's love is I got to perform for Dad I got to perform for Mom and so that is so deep inside of them that it doesn't change easily threes have a hard conversion and a long conversion because they'll keep going back to where they're fed not that we all don't but they do an especially strong way and that's I went out of my way to describe it so you'd get the sense of the double compulsion of the center point right that that person is doubly trapped even his two is heart his two wing haven't touched you the wings yet but hold on to it and his four wing is heart so he's heart heart heart she's heart heart heart you know it he has to work she has to work to get some head that doesn't mean they're not smart it's nothing to do with smart but to be more rational logical so three s get jerked around by their feelings and and they think because a person likes them or there's warm simpatico between them and a person that that person will also be effective and a hard worker and productive and efficient that's all projection from their sides and so they go through life being disappointed a lot gosh she was so good looking at she she hug me so I thought she could be president of the corporation you know no that's where their heart totally gives them the wrong signals they they project on people who respond very positively to them personally follow me they read a project on him all kind of other qualities that really then they find out after the fact are not there and that's why threes do need good counselors therapists spiritual directors wives husbands someone to help them clarify their heart world you got their heart world their emotional world is so confusing you know I should have mentioned my first book the blue one discovering the anagram which ondrea's my German friend he took it and then together we wrote it but he's a to and probably in both books the two is maybe the strongest chapter because he put so much time into it too with the strong three wing which is why he got all my books printed in Germany you know because he he's so efficient but he told me last trip to Germany says Richard I'm at the point where I don't ever believe my first feeling it's always off right now he said that as a - with the strong he says it's always off that's all and here you'd think of these as the feeling people so unless the 2 and the 3 and the 4 and another sense can pull back from that first feeling which is this dance of who loves me and how much do they love and are they responding to me personally get out of that dance all right you're never gonna find objective truth there and you're going to get hurt again and again and again on either the personal level or the public level ok 3 and I tell you the the virtue is sin is is integrity and the sin is is deceit this deceit being the the not telling open lies but presenting an attractive self a self that is other than the whole truth all right with that we'll dive into the for the last hard space yes yo yes and Israel if it'll help you understand why this Jewish American thing can be broken because we're the same i Israel is a three country and America is a three country we've both made an art form of it and they cannot see our dark side in a certain sense but we certainly can't see theirs because we're the same yeah no not sure when he wait for Germany for the three when the three is doing good believe it or not they become like a very healthy six that they take on some of that structure and groundedness they stop trying to save the world you know they just go back to their Catholic Mass where they went as a little boy and refine myself there for them that's very healthy that they don't get lost in all this you know making money or looking good just go back to where I began and do the rituals one more time as it were that's where tradition is very very healthy you think if a Donald Trump had something like that he could perhaps find his soul but you and maybe he does I don't mean to put him down but he'd probably be the quintessential American three just bar millions of dollars you know on pretty soon he's flying off into the ozone with with money-making with no what does this mean for history or tradition or my soul or the truth or the church but you go back to threes and invariably III don't know Donald Trump's life story but invariably they had a very structured traditional authoritarian family in the good sense we do these things this way in our family their way to maintain that perfect world we're all trying to create a perfect world was to become famous successful money-making I can force it I can make perfection to happen in this world of course the can't remember I said the gift of the three is decisive action I've known threes that just by the end of the day they've checked off the list of fifteen things and they do each one with simplicity and focus they say focus now and they focus to this and they focus to this that very loss of focus which is their general problem when they can find a way to prioritize and for this hour I'm gonna do this they are on eclis end up more effective than some of the rest isn't that interesting it's always a surprise to me

Channel: OsakaSyndrome

Views: 74,934

Rating: 4.9398046 out of 5

Keywords: Richard Rohr, Type 3, Enneagram, Description, The Achiever

Id: mt-7uAHpTSQ

Length: 31min 57sec (1917 seconds)

Published: Sun Mar 03 2019