♪♪♪
♪♪♪ >> I'M MISHA SHUMWAY, THIS IS
"THE DIVIDEND." IT'S BEEN A WILD WEEK ON
WALL STREET, HERE TO BREAK IT DOWN WITH ME IS INVESTMENT
ANALYST DALE TILLMAN. >> ALWAYS A PLEASURE, MISHA.
GLAD IT WORKED OUT THAT I COULD BE HERE.
>> BE QUIET, YOU HAVE NOTHING GOING ON.
AND JOINING US FROM HIS HOME IN CONNECTICUT, ECONOMIST
CRAIG STEER. >> WELL, TALK ABOUT AN EASY
COMMUTE. I JUST HAD TO WALK TO MY LIVING
ROOM. >> NOW A NUMBER OF HEDGE FUNDS
GOT CAUGHT WITH THEIR PANTS DOWN THIS WEEK WHEN REDDIT USERS
DROVE THE PRICE OF GAMESTOP UP EXECUTING A SHORT SQUEEZE.
CRAIG, YOUR THOUGHTS? >> WELL, LISTEN, YOU KNOW HOW I
FEEL. POWER TO THE PEOPLE, RIGHT?
POWER TO THE PEOPLE. I MEAN, WHY SHOULDN'T JOE SCHMO
GET RICH USING THE SAME TECHNIQUE THAT JOHNNY HEDGE FUND
>> CRAIG, SORRY, BUT CAN I ASK WHAT'S GOING ON WITH THE ART
WORK BEHIND YOU? >> OH!
MY DAUGHTER PAINTED THAT. IT'S CALLED RESTLESS SINNER.
SHE'S VERY TALENTED. BOTH MY TWINS ARE ACTUALLY.
MY SON JACOB MAKES THESE TERRIFIC SCULPTURES.
I THINK I ACTUALLY HAVE ONE HERE.
>> OH. >> YEAH.
YEAH, THIS ONE'S CALLED SCENT OF PEDIATRIC.
ANYWAY, SORRY TO SHOW OFF. I'M JUST A PROUD PAPA.
>> OKAY. YOUR TWINS ARE CERTAINLY
TALENTED, BUT I'M A LITTLE WORRIED SOME VIEWERS MIGHT FIND
THE GORY PAINTING AND BABY CENTIPEDE UNSETTLING.
CAN YOU MAYBE COVER THEM UP SO WE DON'T SEE THEM?
>> I THINK THAT'S A GOOD IDEA. I'M PRETTY UNSETTLED.
COULD YOU MOVE YOUR CAMERA, MAYBE?
>> OH, I DON'T KNOW. I HAVE A DESKTOP.
I'M REALLY SORRY. >> MY GOD!
>> FATHER. >> FATHER.
>> FATHER. >> FATHER.
>> LOOK OUT. CAMEO ALERT.
THESE ARE MY TWINS. JACOB, JOSEPHINE.
HEY, GUYS, WHY ARE YOU HERE? I TOLD YOU TO PLAY OUTSIDE WHILE
DADDY WAS WORKING. >> THE NEIGHBOR BOY SHOWED US
PORNOGRAPHY ON HIS PHONE. >> WE DIDN'T LOOK AWAY.
WE LIKED IT, FATHER. WHY DO WE LIKE IT, FATHER?
>> WELL, YOU KNOW WHAT? WE'RE GOING TO TALK ABOUT THAT
LATER, ALL RIGHT? GO PLAY, OKAY?
KIDS, AM I RIGHT? SORRY ABOUT THAT, GUYS.
>> YEAH. OKAY.
WELL, DALE, WHAT'S YOUR TAKE ON ALL THIS?
>> I DON'T KNOW. MAYBE THEY'RE HOME SCHOOLED OR
SOMETHING? >> I MEANT THE STOCK MARKET,
DALE. >> OH, THAT.
WELL, I THINK CRAIG'S GOT IT ALL WONG.
THIS SORT OF MARKET MANIPULATION IS DANGEROUS.
>> WELL, OKAY. HANG ON.
HANG ON. CRAIG!
LOOKS LIKE YOU FROZE THERE, SORRY ABOUT THAT, I'M BACK.
>> WHY DOES DALE DISAGREE WITH YOU, FATHER?
>> I DON'T LIKE DALE. DALE MAKES ME ANGRY!
>> I'M SORRY. LET DADDY WORK, OKAY?
JUST GO MAKE A -- GO MAKE A SNACK OR SOMETHING.
>> MAY I MAKE US MUSTARD ON TOAST?
>> I WANT TO MAKE IT. SHE IS STINGY WITH THE MUSTARD.
>> BECAUSE YOU ARE INDULGENT WITH THE MUSTARD.
>> OKAY, GUYS. >> CRAIG, YOUR TWINS KNOW THAT
WE JUST HAVE A DIFFERENCE OF OPINION AND I'M NOT YOUR ENEMY,
RIGHT? >> YOU'RE TOO MUCH, DALE.
>> I'M SERIOUS. >> WELL, THIS OBVIOUSLY HAS WALL
STREET WORRIED FOR A LOT OF REASONS.
WHAT SHOULD THEY BE MOST CONCERNED ABOUT, CRAIG?
>> I'M SO SORRY, MISHA. LISTEN, GUYS, FOR REAL.
DADDY'S WORKING. >> GOOD-BYE.
>> GOOD-BYE, DALE. >> I HATE THAT SHE SAID MY NAME.
>> BETTER YOU THAN ME. WELL, TODAY'S VIEWER POLL ASKED
THE SAME QUESTION, WHAT'S WALL STREET'S BIGGEST FEAR?
17% OF YOU SAID INCREASED MARKET MANIPULATION WHILE 83% SAID
THOSE TWINS. I HAVE TO AGREE.
>> CRAIG, MAYBE YOUR TWINS CAN COME BACK.
I THOUGHT I DIDN'T LIKE SEEING THEM, BUT IT'S WORSE WHEN I
DON'T KNOW WHERE THEY ARE. >> I SEE WHAT'S GOING ON HERE.
YOU'RE JUST AFRAID TO HAVE A DEBATE WITH ME BECAUSE YOU'RE
WORSHIPPING AT THE ALTER OF HEDGE FUNDS.
WHAT'S WRONG? ARE YOU GETTING A LITTLE HOT
UNDER THE COLLAR THERE? >> I DON'T FEEL HOT.
I JUST GOT REALLY COLD. >> OKAY.
WE'RE GOING TO TAKE A QUICK BREAK.
KEEP IT HERE.
🚀🚀🚀 HOLD OR THE TWINS WILL FIND YOU
“Centipediactric”
Made me laugh harder than it should’ve
This sketch was great but I’m ngl I would’ve preferred it without Kate smiling the whole time. Idk if it was intentional or a break (leaning towards break) but it kinda took me out of it.
Reminds me of another sketch where Kate and Mikey play a creepy old-timey mother and son on a game show? Oh the weird chemistry connections that come out!