Trisha Paytas & The Matzo Ball Meet-Cute | TigerBelly 292

can i show you my power play yeah pretty good on what is it i love it it's uh don't say anything until i bring your name up oh okay cause i'm gonna introduce you okay but sometimes the intro lasts like five minutes and then you're just just oh okay yeah no it doesn't last [Music] [Music] all right enough hey i won't sing anymore i promise okay okay welcome to another is that fine turn it up a little bit i can't hear myself oh i lowered you welcome to another what there that no welcome to another perfect welcome to another episode of tiger belly welcome welcome we have um her attitude today it's good right it's it's good and bad but i love her so much and she's my um my foundation my sidekick you're gonna mean um my best friend my lover um kalila we've got you yeah give him a round of applause this spanish [ __ ] bastard right here give him a round of applause andres yeah um i have to say something before we introduce our guest um i made a mistake this morning so i i i woke up at like 6 30 in the morning and i go i and i i was obsessing about that breakfast burrito from lucky's lucky's lucky boy so i so i have this guy that i play um war zone with alex don't tell me you had him drive to pasadena no no i texted him i go hey you want to make some money he goes oh no i've got to go to work i'll give you whatever you know what i mean i got to go to work right so then i'm like oh [ __ ] who's going to go to pasadena to get me this breakfast burrito so then i went to colfax right and i got delivered and i ate a chorizo breakfast beer like this big and then i drank a coke and some coffee and then went back to bed and i slept for like what four hours and my stomach started going going crazy and so i might have to you know i might have to take some breaks from how many times do you [ __ ] so far 15 15 or 16 times so i might have to take a couple of breaks right now the dam is clogged i apologize for talking this way i know that it doesn't give you sexual feelings when i talk about my you know anal activity and that's what i call it mm-hmm anal activity but i apologize okay now we've been wanting this guest for about a year uh-huh i don't know why it didn't happen she's busy she's probably hollywood or whatever whatever or whatnot yeah you know how people get hollywood whatever or whatnot right movie you know yeah you know she's uh she lives the glam life you know what i mean she lives a good life and uh i'm gonna defend her republicans don't make that face i'm gonna die what's that fate what's up she can't talk she actually agreed to do this on a week notice almost two-week notice so we didn't ask so no one asked her before this no she was on a list though she was on our list long time she's on our list for whoever i'm sorry i'm sorry well he's not here he's not this [ __ ] right the list that we make they need to be going out bro all right because now i'm i look like a fool bro all right trisha paytas i can talk now yeah i'm so scared okay um don't be scared no no one asked me to be on the podcast i feel like that's a lie because like i never get asked my podcast especially comedian podcast like i'm not in your guys's group so like you guys don't really have like youtubers and [ __ ] on here so i was like really excited well um i think we are in your group i'll tell you why okay because there's the ethan connection right right right right that's his name right ethan ethan and gila ela we love them so much from hh yeah hh is the best and it's our favorite oh so that was like my in was like because now i'm on with ethan i love it i'll tell you i don't know connections no they're probably other yeah there's other i'll tell you another thing that you when i i don't know this one's you guys you and i have never met before we met we've never met right um i yeah we met a couple times it's good to see you again good to see you again but you and i have crossed paths in a weird way we did the same project together but we never worked on the same day or whatever and i'll tell you what it was what if she can you guess what did she guess yeah it's a music video oh oh um uh the m eminem one but we were there on the same day i met you we talked we totally shot the same day we weren't in the same scene but we were you were totally down there on the same day hey don't bump up me man don't bump up me right now i i tried to i tried to ask the right questions before we started we were like hey i'm pretty sure you met on the same day you're like nope i've never met her you're a [ __ ] [ __ ] so awkward it's so hard i've met so many people especially comedians that they have they don't remember me like i used to work at like laugh factory commute comedy all these places and like no one ever remembers me so it's always like and i don't like say like oh you don't remember me but like yeah they don't remember me at all what did you do at um la factory in comedies um i was i i waited tables and then i also was like an assistant to a bunch of like d like literally like z-list com comedians like no one on tv like it was like i mean literally you would not hear about there was a guy named that would always like go to the left factory like host shows okay well he used to sell meat out of his car did you know that i was his assistant then oh when were you used when he was stealing steaks out of the car yeah yeah yeah and he had a hummer and yeah like and he paid me like six dollars an hour but i had to be on like beck and call and it would go to the laugh factory like and we would have to like get people's information it was really weird so did he ever hit on you uh yeah yeah he still does i see him sometimes yeah yeah um no but yeah he's a sexual he's a sexual guy is he i don't really i don't know i've never sucked his dick but i'm saying you know i'll tell you who i would never suck his dick i'll tell you who he's on he's i think it was on facebook like hey want to meet at the comedy store i was like oh i want a tomahawk steak wait a second yeah i'm on my way there to see my boyfriend perform even after that he sat next to me in the booth yeah like he has a section even when he looks because he has a little bit of a cross eye right there's like [ __ ] going on like his two eyes are [ __ ] know each other they're like looking at each other like having they are pretty close together yeah but um i think he's a very funny guy you do he's a funny guy no i mean he's not you can just listen i've seen him kill before you have yeah oh my god never i never he used to go on stage and just like go through people's purses like that was his like stick it's just like going through ladies and gentlemen oh right he was like yeah he was kind of the worst mom but did he have let me ask you this though do they have great stakes uh no they failed wow no shade or anything but like yeah he i saw him a few years later and like literally he he was like i'm only saying this because he was an [ __ ] to me towards the end he fired me because i went on like this reality tv show so he like ended up being an [ __ ] but like i saw him a couple years later and he was like an apartment with like two roommate girls or whatever like that but i remember him shooting at me so hard cause at 18 he told me like i couldn't afford a nicer car than a volkswagen beetle while he was like renting a hummer and then i saw him in like a honda civic and i was like oh my god karma like it was and i'm sorry i have i'm really bitter this is the wrong pack has to be on because i'm so bitter turned a lot of like stand ups because stand-ups are like that's the right podcast to be you know i was like but and i will say though you're like the only comic i met like stand up because i only met you like personally at the eminem shoot and you like never were creepy or weird toward the girls because it was all girls on that set yeah and you weren't like i mean at least to me i don't know you were just like listen listen i don't give creepy vibes right not at all it's the opposite like i'm so like uh fatherly teddy bear yeah yeah fatherly you don't mean that's creepy yeah go go with teddy bear what do you think oh let's let's i'll drive you to the softball game fatherly you know what i mean i'll coach you i mean we're not even blood related but let's push your teeth yeah i mean focus on the ball you know what i mean do the upswing i don't know how softball works all works but do the upswing the upswing you know i mean so it's like you were the opposite you're actually like very almost almost seeing officers like you know how when people like post photos and they pose like this so they don't even like getting your girls that's how you were you were very like almost standoffish not cold not mean but just like not at all like i'm gonna drive you to a baseball game it was more like you know you were very like just nice to meet you and that was it i i i maybe it's this though i'm trying to analyze it maybe it's because i don't think and i've always been kind of um i always viewed myself as an in-cell oh no you're not an insult because you're not mean to women no no but like right right but i had in-cell vibes no you were just a virgie i just couldn't get [ __ ] but that's not an incel yeah so somebody so a guy who wants [ __ ] who's fatherly who's [ __ ] thank you thank you we'll drive you to the softball game right yeah but also can't get it is not an insult no that's just like a loser yeah i was a loser andreas for all these years i thought i was an insult i'm a [ __ ] mobile loser thank you [ __ ] a i think um what it is is i when i look at i've never had that thing because i think my mom was so strong and my dad was the violent one and my mom was always the strong one you know i mean and she was the only one that was in the in my life she would drive me to the wrestling meets she would like you know she would go to me to court cases when i had that accident and just different things right she was there in my life and she was you know you know my mom she's very vocal and strong so there's a there's some strength there and so that like when i look at women i'm more i view them as like even female comics that's why i'm friends with so many female comics is because i've always found them to be funny and i'm not threatened by them at all in any kind of way i i really do view women as equals do you believe that or no no i do and that's why you take a lot of like female comics you're one of the few male comics that all female comics love i'm a loser so let's just say that because you're non-threatening too i'm not right so i apologize should have been a [ __ ] creep right but i should i should have been i should have been more nice to you is that no no no no i think you were like perfect you were like it's like eminem you know he's very like professional he's not like overtly like you know warm but also not cold he was very much like nice i love him by the way he's a really nice guy he's like the nicest liberty i think i've ever met like that was yeah because he you you because he's like you know he there was so many people there that day yeah and i remember him coming up to me goes hey man thank you so much for doing this and i remember going oh thanks eminem he goes call me marshall and then he goes my son's a fan of yours oh that's right so i'm like he came out of nowhere to do that and i never really talked to him but my point is is that you know i mean when somebody does that he doesn't have to do that yeah is he nice to you he was so nice i was casted as like an obese jessica simpson because at the time she was like fat so they wanted like a fat so the director joseph khan was very much like grab her fat grab her belly and i was like 19 at the time so i was like a little self-conscious and he was so nice like in between takes he's like just so you know like you look better than the real jessica like you're so beautiful because i was so oh yeah there i am and wait what was the director's name joseph khan is he korean he's asian he's asian yeah yeah that's that's the guy i met at the you that's how i got it i was out of korean barbecue joseph khan his name yeah so i was at a korean i was at super jeep yeah oh there you are oh yeah yeah there i am i was in super jeep there's um dr dre there back there i was at super jeep and i was eating right with my brother yeah and this asian dude comes up and goes hey dude what's up and i go i'm eating and he goes i'm a music director music video i go whatever right and i don't know what it is he just exchanged numbers he calls me a week later he goes come on down we got eminem everybody and i [ __ ] drive down there right and all of a sudden i mean this thing yeah that's why like when [ __ ] bird chrysler and not for chrysler tom segura and everyone's moving to texas you know i know byrne and all those guys moved to nashville what do you think about that whole texas exodus um i don't know about this i'm sorry what is happening basically like all like um i'd say maybe like a quarter or maybe to half of the la comedy scene is like moving to austin oh i think it's great because most of them are like [ __ ] like honestly i have such bad bad taste from comedians all around like even recently there's like a game meeting that's suing me because i had an opinion on him and i was like you can't like he's a huge comedian okay oh and i know firsthand what a creepy is and i was like gave him my lawyer's information i'm like here's my lawyer's information like i'm not saying anything that's not true and then like my lawyer charged me all this money to like accept a complaint and i think they didn't think i'd go through with it but i'm like i'm rich now i got money like come for me oh my god yeah so in general i just have bad tastes in my mouth for like comics but like i didn't know they're moving texas and honestly like gooder it is because like it doesn't go with 2021 like the stand-up comics in la the like ones that you know like the ones that have been through it like jamie kennedy harlan williams like go you know your time's over i don't know if they're moving to texas yeah anyone else i was staying trish thursday you know what i mean but see like gen z like pushing them out like that kind of mentality with like the me too like louis ck and stuff like they finally because i knew about him like jerking off girls faces for a long time it's being called out and now like jenzy's like okay these people were like done with you you know what i mean even like who was like hot and popping everyone's like oh my god he's so funny like everyone's just like you know and rightfully so cuz he had a thing with my sister that was super inappropriate when she was 18 so i was like you know like rightfully so and i'm glad people are calling it out it's just stand-ups i don't know what it is about stand-ups i think i don't know if it's like the complex because they're like insecure i don't know what it is but like stand-ups are like literally the worst i don't know what it is okay let me just ask i don't want to i let's not i want to just get in uh very healthy three females this is great you should get into um just a round table with a lot of female comics and they would a hundred percent back you up oh i'm sweating inside my face is that even possible the amount of people let me ask you something i'm sweating inside my face okay so let me ask you this okay do you think and well i'm not i'm not having an argument with you i just want to ask you a question no yeah i love you you're like me you have no filter i love it okay so do you think that um some of these trans transgressions by these male comics right do you think that that's enough to ruin one's career though forever or their their ability to make money it's again it depends on the severity like someone being a creep to me or something like that like does you don't deserve to be canceled whatever but if it's a if you like you know are forcing yourself on a girl like yes you should probably should yeah and if you come on the girl's face probably yeah but will it happen though like louis c.k will still be like around selling tickets you know people still see like you know even woody allen like we just watched we didn't i loved him for so long even up until like literally watching the documentary i loved yelling like whatever who cares but now like watching it i'm like okay maybe but like people just support stuff would you watch another like because for me it's like i you know i have like a catalog right you know how itunes when you buy movies you have that library we literally had a violent portrait that we had to kind of take down and you know i love i love crimes and misdemeanors that's a great movie i love husbands and wives even the mid you know i mean yeah the early stuff you know i mean and so when i'm asking you because you're about woody allen fan yeah if you're watching tv and you see annie hall or any a movie come up would you watch it no no you can't because that's just like supporting right even if it's like free or whatever you just can't because that's like bad energy in youtube you're like so you're watching this like person and like supporting it and be like i'm a fan or whatever i don't know i think it's bad energy i think people should get like canceled like if it's like deserving to be but i was friends with problematic people a lot of my youtube friends got canceled last year too and it's like really hard and i stopped becoming friends with some of them because you're just like i don't know if i can like support this person you know what i mean shane dawson for instance got canceled last year do you guys know him yeah he got cancelled for like inappropriate jokes about miners and like that's like so gross and stuff like that but i was like so loyal right cause i was like this is my friend it's like your family like you're gonna stand by him but then like after a while you're like oh i just don't know like if you can stand by this person i don't know i don't know how to like it's such a slippery thing like if you're family do you turn your back on them i don't know i did on a couple people because there's a certain thing so i'm just like that's too gross i can't i don't know it's so hard what about um you know oh boy let me ask you a question oh boy you're sweating dude i'm sweating inside my face i can't what about if it was a trench transgression that we see as a transgression now but wasn't back then and so the pendulum has swung let's say for instance somebody did it 15 years ago that was part of the culture is that something that we still ought to cancel to cancel them for even though they aren't doing that today yeah i think then if they've like grown for real you know i think yeah like because obviously i've had like poor taste jokes like back in the day because you just thought they were funny or whatever like that so i think yeah if you're doing them currently because a lot of people started doing then i think it should be canceled if you're not like learning but like like do you think that the rolling stones or some of these you know bands that toured back in the late 60s early 70s who obviously right hooked up with underage women right on the road right thousands of times right who's the guy that's saying uh great balls of fire jerry lewis he married his his fourteen no it's not look it up it is uh jerry lee lewis jerry lee lewis and i told you ten points for you thank you so much captain so jerry louie lewis right he married his 14 year old cousin right could could that happen now who knows i mean because i'm telling you right now you'd get canceled you would get cancelled immediately okay right but he was able to have a career so the culture shifted good music you know it's like um come on trish she's like a rainbow i i think i think listen guys all right let's let's try to be you know i mean let's take the humor out of it yeah and let's be adults about this okay we obviously the pendulum has swung one way all the way over right we needed to bring it back toward the center okay because i just think that um it's like the salem witch trial no you should never equate it to that and your therapist yelled at you for even using that reference because the salem witch trial literally was targeted at women so like that's give me another try but they were witches yeah give me another trial anyone give me another trial uh yeah oh oj oh it was like the og trial come on hey guys we're gonna take a really quick break to share some of our favorite sponsors with you come i love this app so much guys i use it every night when i go to sleep it's one of the most powerful ways to improve your overall health and happiness is to get a good night's sleep correct and this is the app to do it um we love it it's uh i want more of it um it has the best field recordings you know like in terms of rainfall and waterfall and ocean you know it's very crisp and very realistic and what i love about calm is they have people that tell um sleep stories and they're narrated by very soothing voices like stephen fry kaylee roland and my favorite the lady that was in the star wars movie laura drank she's the best she's the best she's known for yeah and um let me say something right now facts back up this [ __ ] over 85 million people around the world use calm to take care of their minds and get better sleep and there's a reason why because it's the best in the business it's part of my nightly routine i take a shower i talk put my little sleepy hat on i tuck my little toes under the blanket and i do my 10-minute guided meditations and it has absolutely changed the quality of my sleep and the quality of my life and i couldn't recommend it more um any of you please please i implore you to go to com.com belly and you'll get a limited time offer of 40 of a com premium subscription which includes hundreds of hours of programming get the com app and experience a transformation in the way you sleep for listeners of the show com is offering a special limited time promotion of forty percent off a comm premium subscription at com.com belly that's forty percent off unlimited access to comms entire library and new content is added every week get started today at com.com belly that's com.com belly enjoy the rest of the show i think like sometimes talking about it it just helps so many other people because i recently had an issue with this vlogger named david dobrik right and i shared my story yeah and i've been sharing it for years and now all of a sudden since i've been talking and talking talking now other people feel like comfortable to come out their stories and there was people way worse than me when a girl got i mean you believe that she got like raped by like they gave him alcohol to have sex with dom like and it's on the insider like it's it was a thing it was like proven so more people are like sharing this or a guy that was like sexually assaulted by them like getting kissed by a guy that he didn't consent to so like people telling their stories like that's why i just kept telling my stories and say these people's names over and over because if someone else has a similar story i think it's important to like hold them accountable and yes like people come back from these things so it's not like i'm trying to cancel them i just think it's like don't keep doing this to people you know what i mean because it's like happened to me so many times i got like roofied by so many comics at like that factory like all those places like that you know what i mean and i think it's just like you just gotta like talk about it more you know i don't know i just like i don't know but then i get people are like scared or they don't want to bring up drama and i get that too but i don't know i just well you know what here's what i really love about youtube is that like all those things that happened to you by these disgusting men would really kind of keep a woman down would at this point i'd be so broken and so afraid to even open my mouth the fact that you're just letting it fly is honestly the best thing to hear oh well thanks a lot of people like crazy or they call it drama they're like so drama she has like beef with everybody it's like it's not beef it's just like i finally can talk about it because i consider myself blacklisted from everything like i'm surprised to be on this podcast so are we are we gonna get cancelled maybe honestly people get really heated like i don't know with like my new podcast people have been liking me but like people hated me for a long time you're a [ __ ] genius on friends oh thank you i love i love frenemies that's fine i don't know if that one's a cool one i think it's cause ethan cause he's like really funny i like like funny people but you're a part of that family right um yeah yeah i just got engaged to his brother-in-law you're related isn't that crazy that's the guy that just dropped you off yeah that's ela's brother that's that's ila's brother from israel oh wow he has a long face like she does yeah you look similar yeah i just got like this like you know i mean they're both very modelesque like like the scream mask very like high fashion model oh yeah was gorgeous so like when i first started hooking up with moses i was just like you remind me so much of your sister i thought it was so hot how did that work out were you guys friends already and then you went on the podcast or was it after it was h3 after going on h3 i was doing the bachelorette for h3 and they were trying to find me a boyfriend and i did they they found like the worst people ever and then like the quarantine hit and then me and her brother just damned each other and just that we like moved in quick and then we just bought a house together and got engaged so it was just like really fast as a pandemic romance i really haven't been out in the real world together and then you um converted to judaism well no i haven't done that that's what the video is why i love it i love jewish culture i like i like i love culture in general i just want to be every culture but my own but like i love jewish culture and so i want to but it's really really hard to convert like you have to have so much like dedication and discipline and i have a zero of that so yeah i watched that episode of sex in the city when what's her name was trying to like convert and they kept like pushing her away yeah no they like refused especially with women they're they're a little misogynistic in the jewish like culture but i love everything else surrounding it like the food the religion the ideals there is a um [Music] you you speak freely no just let me finish what i'm saying it's a compliment okay you speak freely and i'm almost envious of it you there's people that are actually good people like they're not you know but the ones that we i'm talking about and putting them in a blast they like i've never i talked about meeting you like in videos as like a nice thing but everyone else like has been an awful person i only talk about people if they're truly awful like there's like shitty people or cold people or whatever and i never talk about them but if you're like disgusting and you like you know like jizz on my face without my consent how many times let me just let's go back to that okay so basically what you're saying is this right uh let's say i'm not dating her yeah yeah and you and i are doing it right and we're doing missionary style right let's just go back to i don't know how this works keep in mind and i'm locking eyes with you set up the story how you guys met i want to hear the backstory all right so you and i all right so i was at cantors daily i'm very [ __ ] yeah and i'm sitting there because in cantors they have these like single not single boots but like a seat for two right and then there's a four top right okay so i'm singing six four two what are you eating what i'm eating a matzo ball soup and in back of me there's another seat for two back of me and i hear right and she's just she's she's like he threw a straw sucking in matcha ball like it's a shot like it's a boba like it's a boba oh that's her bow yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah gigantic balls of matzos in a row right and i have to confront her right and i want to i turn around and go slow down right he doesn't eat all the mozzarella's encounters then your eyes lock all right and then i go oh hello right my bad that's your meat cute yeah and then you're like very woody allen yeah yeah i feel like you would say something racial at that point or no uh what year is it actually this is good let's try two different years 1986. okay yeah probably sir i'm 32. in 1986 you're thrilled oh i know i wasn't born i was negative you creep wow i'm cancelled for sure um so it's 19 uh it's 2 000. and then wait 2 000 nine how old are you in 2009 i am 21. 2009 right enters all right so then we lock guys so it's 2008 would you say something racial um i think back then i yeah yeah yeah like what would you say something probably light like maybe do an accent i don't know what no i don't want it she's looking at all of us would you do an accent come on would you do an accent at all no i wouldn't do an accent oh yeah yeah i used to like oh you would say something like you know what i mean well i i slurp it with my straw do you use chopsticks yeah no i wouldn't say that you know what i used to say to like asian guys that i was trying to like you know hit on what i would always just be like oh like what asian are you it was so embarrassing that's actually not racist at all that's the opposite because it's like some a lot of white people just say asian asian like they don't try to differentiate us at all are you asian i'm filipino i mean i that sounds are you like are you like what is it hapa is it like half hopper yeah but i grew up there i i grew up there for uh until i was 15. oh my god go back to canters thank you you're hating on him you asking type of asian korean korean yeah you're korean oh and then i would say i can count to five in korean and then i would say do it yeah yeah yeah and i would say uh dose-up i don't know what that was that's fine and i said oh wow did you learn that from taekwondo do you really you did you did yeah that's how they know that's how they learn you know what i mean but that was my that's how i got with a lot of korean guys was that way they thought that was so cute that i like knew about well you've hooked up with korean guys before um yeah i i don't want to call it a phase but like i go through phases i don't have a culture of my own so i definitely go through like but yeah all right so you went through a korean phase right so then we uh exchange numbers right and then i call you right and then we go to um you know where we go we go to the chinese man right you watch a movie the theater okay yeah yeah and we watch um you know what we watch the second independence day oh that's not no not 2009. wait hold on no the second one is uh not a good one i know but still i think it came out by then 2009 i think actually no it wasn't that long ago it came out it came out literally like let me know when the second eight years ago here are the top movies for 2009 if you'd like to choose one okay thank you thank you thank you thank you top ten so no no just hang on no no oh i know we would watch star trek there you go the new one we go star trek right yes and then so then what i do is i i hold hands with you right you're gonna hear a lot of star trek and then what you're dirty and so then you so then you hold hands with me and all of a sudden right you feel like moisture in your eyes from from my [ __ ] it would be like more viscosity [Applause] yeah it's like very watery there's no substance to it it's not aggressive all right so now we don't do it then here's what i want to know how they do it so we go to my place right we're having missionary sex right because i want to know when you say you know people do it in your face without asking yeah so and then i'm about to come yeah right and do guys just pull it out without asking and just do it in your eyes oh you're asking in my situation yeah yeah no i'm always roofied i'm always they've always drugged me oh that's even worse you're passed out right you don't know what's going on are they even a wipe off i mean is that element you don't know do you know when you wake up when you've had like conjunctivitis or like pink eye and it's just it takes forever to just peel your eyes open because it crusts 1000 pink i swear like hand to god that's happened twice i got in pink eye from that wait so you don't you know the guys that have roofied and come in your eyes have you pressed charges yes okay i feel bad okay i feel really bad that that's happened to you that you've been roofied yeah that's horrible obviously we don't know that i don't want to know the names yeah these guys obviously are people that we everyone would know everyone would know yeah wow so that's cool [ __ ] yeah sad for me for me here's my here's my opinion okay is um for me it's like um a guy like myself you know you get kind of a name in the business and you work right and then you know i'll be honest with you um you know before i did comedy and stuff like that i had a difficult time meeting women right and now i'm in a place right in my life where you know women that were way above my level right are wanting to hang out with me right i that to me is enough i just wanted to be i just wanted to play the game right put me in the game well that's always my confusion it's like you already have it all why do you have to go through lengths to then roofie somebody like you have it all what i never understood it's like you know some of these guys male guys that i knew that were married with they're married to beautiful women yeah yeah like women that like oh i would die for that catches you know what i mean like the top tens right and then for some reason or another you know it's not enough you know it's like you know um online people when we first started dating guys were like she's only with you for this or you know i mean she's way above your you know i mean and i go well did they know i've always been into gargoyles i love i have i love fat boys what in bmx bikes that was my type in high school and i've always liked i mean you know what i mean gargoyles are cute cute underrated and there was my favorite statue creatures on [ __ ] that's not true there was a nintendo game called gargoyles and they were so cute in that game and i just you've always no one's ever seen a guard not that kind of anyone ever seen a cardboard [ __ ] building go oh that's cute like oh bobby yeah look at that that's what you're saying that i look like look at that one well look at this one right here this i mean come on yeah well that one this is how non-sexual it is they don't even show the penises i'm sorry dave i've never seen the gargoyle look at that penis they hide it but they do so ugly all right forget it babe yeah that's what you think i'm telling you now that this all of this you're showing me is porn like i oh okay vagina turn it off it's [ __ ] gargoyles is he your normal type like bobby's like you're traditional i've dated i'm like you i i just i'll i like them all yeah catch me when i'm ovulating i will like them all have you have babies do you have babies we don't have babies but we've killed two wait really yeah i've had two boys they were 14 yeah oh god i got it okay oh my god you think we like we literally killed a baby you're seven yeah i was trying to like grab that building okay no you don't want kids you're over it yeah um not at that time i didn't um he wants kids now but i i'm not if you guys had a baby i'd love to adopt him because i feel like it'd be really cute and talented i can't have i'm like infertile basically so i want to adopt you you're in turtle yeah i've been trying to have kids for like years like literally so long it's because i had chlamydia twice and i got like my tubes all scarred up it's like [ __ ] up in here and so i want to adopt a baby babies because they'd be like really pretty and really talented like it'd be funny it'd be beautiful like yeah like yeah maybe you feel some type of way if when you hear someone like me saying like oh i have had like two abortions no not really i don't judge like that thing because like i totally get it like you know yeah it's like you should have a baby you don't want a baby but at the same time i'd be like oh if you want to like sell me your baby i would totally have it i might be open to that because i the first pregnant the first time i got pregnant we had only been together like a month oh wow and i was like not sure about him uh and wow because we hadn't really we weren't even official yet like as a couple we weren't facebook officials you know who makes more money he does at the time too yeah i was a nurse then oh wow well that means you have a good character because honestly well i don't hold her you're younger older than me i'm 36. oh my god you're so yeah i mean i thought you were like way younger than me i thought you were like 26 or something like that because like me at like 25 if i got pregnant by someone that was on tv whether they're rich or not because it doesn't always mean you're rich like i've been with people on my tv and they're like broke you know what i mean i already know what it is okay yeah i know and i'm gonna say the name no no and then we'll bleep it out andre's getting ready right wow so let me ask you this um so a tongue twister he's like he'll [ __ ] anybody and i was like oh so trish what you were saying was if you had been gotten pregnant by either of those two men you would have kept it for sure if it was like the like that was my goal when i came to l.a because i was like so broke for so long and i like just wanted to have a baby because i knew so many girls like everybody honestly they're so honest i [ __ ] up his manager his manager to this day he always tells me he's like you are the dumbest thing that could not have trapped his ass twice seriously you know two opportunities to trap something abby my manager said that like you're so dumb you would have been set for life that monthly paycheck like [ __ ] it yeah [ __ ] up honestly it is iconic like if someone gets pregnant by like a really rich person like iconic like good for you like i honestly like a woman like she's probably like live and large in like kentucky or wherever she moved to and i think that's awesome i really do think that's awesome because that's what i wanted to do and i couldn't achieve it yeah yeah or like drake drake's right yeah oh my god he likes like thick girls i missed my chance with him too i was like yeah you were you could have been interested i know i know when i see that i was like the little baby i was like oh that could have been my baby okay that little blond curly hair you know how scary that is i mean that's why i think maybe that's why i'm you know i've always been in long-term relationships yeah because i'm afraid of those [ __ ] traps it's you should be and other people should be too they're so stupid like when a hot chick is like going hey you want to hang out that would be now that's probably a few i think you've always been careful you dated a lesbian for years really you did that's the same that's how safe he was yeah wow do you guys have sex [Laughter] i needed a gay guy so i'm totally i did you have sex with him he [ __ ] me really weird yeah and he hit me yeah did she like sucked you in the face like i mean he was the most abusive guy in the world really yeah because he was close he was a closeted man and then he wouldn't admit it to the world and we we have to cut this out but you've always sort of been with like boyish women though like you know god what are you talking about like you're boyish i'm androgynous i'm considered you know especially in my younger years i had like a boxier shape i had muscles like you like girls either long chins or like muscles yeah yeah yeah yeah like wonder woman types like matt like a little bit like i like long faces you love long phones i love long faces oh so that's a compliment and like long faces when you said earlier like the scream face that's like hot tv yeah that's hot to me because my face is so circular i think i've like i've said this before i think what i'm looking for is the opposite look at that that's her fiance wow that's his type it's jesus he looks like dude that's what jesus looks like right yeah yeah that's him yeah i mean wow look at that i like the long face too because i have a round i'm round and chubby and he's tall and thin so i want our kids to be like see that's see we have you know what you and i in many ways are very similar really yeah i think we're very similar i think in terms of i wish that i could be um more free you know then i want to be as free as you one day maybe but like i said for the reasons before like i just want to try to you know because i you know i i'm a part of the community but um i want to be free like you and that's that's a good thing to be i think you know yeah i don't know if that's true because i get a lot of lawsuits okay don't be free don't be freaked i lose so much money i also read somewhere you when i've i've done math yes you've done math yes one of the best drugs i don't know if that's my favorite i like i'm not a meth head but yeah yeah but it's a great drug how long did you do meth for yeah were you like i did math um didn't you start when you were 11 you said yeah 12. whoa yeah so i did math from 12 to 17. oh you did it young it was my main yeah because the only thing that was around was so cheap and when i used to steal um money from my dad's um safe and he would always have like 100 bucks or whatever i would steal it and there was a lady named lucy that lived down the street from me and she lived in this [ __ ] garbage house and she said she had a meth lab and she had her babies she had babies i remember going over there with my friend ramon and sitting there on this filthy couch and um she was like bagging up rocks you know meth and and then the babies were in the meth lab like around the pipes like crawling around the pipes and like playing with like you know what i mean some of the equip like meth labs explode and i just remember thinking to myself god what kind of life am i going to live here this is not a good beginning you know what i mean i mean when you're at that age doing that it just doesn't give you a lot of like optimism you know luckily i got sober when i was young you know i mean but um so you what else drugs do you like ugh i mean i got into drugs later on in life like i was pretty goody and then like i think i got into drugs like later on in life and um i think my like i was really into hallucinogens like i love like molly and like the natural like mushrooms like i love that i don't really consider them drugs like it opens me up i feel but i don't do them anymore either um and then a couple years ago i dated a guy who really got me like on some heroin [ __ ] and i love that because it made me skinny like i was like i lost so much weight yeah yeah and um i loved it and honestly at the time i kind of wanted to die it's kind of dark but like i kind of wanted to die so i was like whatever you know my chances yeah and i thought it would be like you know i'm i idolize people like anna nicole and so like that's like my that was always like my ideal ending was like i'll die young and then i'll be even like super famous because i just like the idea of like being famous right yeah and so i thought if i died of like a heroin over i was like that's iconic right but uh it's not i don't do that stuff anymore i don't think it's iconic but uh yeah i had a couple overdoses and then i got in some like court trouble so then i was like okay i need to like get sober oh your life is just insane and you you also read uh written books uh i mean like self-published i mean i did like write them and like what was it how to be internet families think so i don't even that's grammatically correct i think it's all like how to get internet famous and everyone's like that's not hot like yeah well give me let's say i was a young guy yeah right give me some five things yeah that i can do to become internet famous so you're you're at cantors where i can't give me some advice i don't know if i have good advice anymore i mean i think at the time i just was super problematic i was just like just be as offensive as possible but like of course now in 2021 i want to say that's my problem so like my past i used to try and be like i loved howard stern right so i was like i'm gonna be so like offensive i'm gonna say vulgar [ __ ] and then like that comes to bite me so like i said i was like i'm a trump supporter and like at the time i like couldn't care less about politics but that comes to bite me in the ass now because always i mean like the same reason like i think what it was like when you were an old like did radio back then like you always wanted to up the ante of like how shocky you could be so it was like he would take these like really benign stories in his life but he would add really really horrible details to it to just you know it was like that was the point right it was like being as as shocking as possible like when you did opie and anthony all those yeah i remember opi once gave me like a bull dick uh-huh like an actual bull dick yeah and he goes it was raw oh right and i'm like uh wow in my mind i'm like that's just his lung show i know but when somebody pulls it out of a plastic like ralph's bag that's what white people yeah it doesn't you know imagine somebody just pulling look at this right yeah this big bulldig he goes eat it yeah and i'm like i would never eat it but i ate it because you know me i'm like i want to be shocking right why did they give you the bulldog because you're asian i don't know oh whatever like sticking my tongue in the the hole of the penis yeah on it you know what i mean and i remember going this is um what am i doing i'm whoring myself to be shocking you know yeah what no i'm just like we mean put your tongue in the hole like in a [ __ ] is that big hang on you've never had lung shells you've never had a woman let me ask you something right now you think that your dick is bigger than a bullet i'm saying my dick is smaller than a boy i know but have you haven't have you had that woman stick their tongue inside the hole no no not all the way inside wait does her penis hole just gaping no i'm just not the whole tongue i'm saying i'm thinking like this like [ __ ] idiots listen look i'm thinking you're doing this the bulldog like no i'm going to show you something okay hey that i'm going to show you something don't cut your tongue i'm not going to cut my tongue look your father is watching those are his ashes i know i'm not oh so careful what kind of all right so okay that's the bowl penis okay it's perfect because this is a red bull and there's a bullet [Laughter] right so let's suppose yeah right obviously let's say that's a bull [ __ ] wow yeah all right obviously i can't stick my tongue all the way through it right i'm not houdini that's the way you describe it i know but but i would you know you'd flick oh you you place i say you place oh right so a little bit of i know it hurt a little bit of my tongue went through the hall right that's what i meant got it i'm not jamming my whole tongue like i'm whoring myself out i wouldn't be doing this i'd be in vegas doing a show yeah i mean that would be my closer yeah watch me you know i mean stick my [ __ ] thumb through a bullet [ __ ] and the audience would be like apply right i would do it it was come out of the sack part right sack part [Laughter] and then and then the curtains closed and i get on a round you know you know like derek derek delgaudio's one one-man show yeah oh yeah that's the opposite it's very anti-philosophical yeah yeah i anyway right forget about the bulldog i don't know why now i don't even know why [ __ ] is it even offensive i don't even know if that is that why did you get did you get canceled for it no i didn't get canceled for her but i just remember doing things that were like you know what i mean not in my character to do things or like i used to like you know one time you tell bad stories here's another tell untrue stories behavior that we might have to cut it out so put this on your thing but i never talked about this the whole podcast is edited out it's two minutes long i remember when so ike baron holtz you don't know him but you know ike yeah and you know seth meyers right talk show he has a brother that's very talented josh myers so ike and ike was on that josh and i go on mad tv with me and they're chicago boys right they're second city and they're just proper real you know i mean decent super talented improvisers right professional and they get on the show and then we have to do promotion so we were promoting on some radio show we're in a green room and these proper boys you know they have shirt tucked in and they're just ready to do this thing and there's a bathroom in the green room i come out of the bathroom and i have a chess piece you know i mean i think it was the king jammed in my [ __ ] and i just kind of walk around i walk around the dressing room with this chess piece in my [ __ ] just to get a laugh from the guys right and i remember them since sitting there you know like this like sweating and just going what the [ __ ] is he doing you know what i mean could they see it yeah because i turn around i i show him my [ __ ] right bear ass in yeah i'm completely naked right and it's a reference yeah yeah so that so that's in my [ __ ] obviously the the that that's the cross is in the hole yeah yeah i'm not gonna i'm not [ __ ] uh crazy person yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah that crazy person right and i used to do stuff like that right just to shock people or you know i mean but that's why i think ike's never didn't invite me to his wedding because of a chess piece that's the reason why i don't think that he invited his wedding because i think i think i think his wife thinks that i'm weird it's a threat of nudity yeah or yeah that kind of behavior i never do that so i now when i'm around people like you know when i was i was on a sitcom a couple years ago called splitting up together yeah and one of my producers from mad tv scott was a producer on this right and i walked her to him at the table read because i hadn't seen him right i pulled him aside and i go hey i want to let you know i don't do that stuff anymore yeah and he goes i know i know i go i don't stick stuff on my ball i'm not that i'm like professional right i show up on time right i know my lines i don't bother nobody right but because before when i was young i used to do crazy things like yeah right and what's so funny it's just the idea of you telling that he's like dude okay i relax the president of warner brothers sitting there everyone's sitting there right like all these executives and i'm pulling him aside because i don't stick jeff's pieces he's like i didn't ask dude i know you don't anymore because you're on a network show i know but i just remember i just don't do it you know so it's like you know maybe stop bringing it up and then people just wait does bob really come up to you and talk about this chess piece that's why i've never this is the first time you ever heard of this before this is the first time i've heard you do like worse things like you know farting people's yogurts and stuff oh yeah go on my perception of you is completely changed now i thought you were like this like sweet wholesome like oh whatever and now you're like oh i fart on people and stuff that's like a lot that's a lot that's awesome because my percentage of you was very like oh he's very just like i do my work i go home like you're not a party guy like you just wrote a scandal about you so but now i'm like there's a ton of scandal about you that i never yeah well i mean the krista flanagan thing um right because it's like um now we're thinking back it that is wrong [ __ ] is wrong with you yeah maybe like apologize no i did i apologize oh my god these are friends yeah we're great friends and if you're on drugs i think it's a little bit more forgiving i mean it's up to her to accept your apology not me but i'm saying like i think if you're on drugs and you explain it i think she'll be like okay but i don't obviously you know i've worked in the last you know 10 years i've done so many things and you know and i i'm a professional i don't i shake hands i bow i don't care i'll do whatever i go you know you know i mean i'll do the whole thing yeah yeah and i'll you know i'm very cordial and professional and i don't do nothing bad trish did you really do taekwondo i did yeah uh-huh well how far did you go yeah i went all the way there's like pictures of me with like my black belt and stuff like that you're a black really master young young minyu what's his name dracula california the place was called i can't remember the place but it was temecula if you look it up and you look up that guy's name it'll be there yeah wow so um did you compete i did in the summer so my dad put me in taekwondo because he like i don't know he like wanted me to a big boy or something like that so i was i was doing stuff he was just trying to keep me from being like literally [ __ ] because i used to just try and like [ __ ] everybody when i was like my dad put me in taekwondo because it's supposed to be like discipline and whatever and i had like really bad anger issues when i was a kid like i still like did up until like a couple years ago i got therapy for it or whatever but i had really bad anger issues so you got to like break boards and stuff and i competed and i was pretty good because i like do dance and stuff like that so i like remembered the kata's like you know because they're very dance and varied that stuff so um yeah i competed i did pretty good i have some like trophies and stuff wow so which like could you still like use some of the things you've learned in a situation now or no yeah for sure like one of the things in taekwondo i don't know if it's all places but they teach you that self defense with like a knife right they come up through the knife and you take their arm and like twist it or whatever so i feel like i feel like it's helped me because like you know i used to escort so i used escort for like six years and like i got into so many bad situations what's escorting huh keeping someone company for money oh you used to do that well i don't know maybe she was a limo driver i don't know that's so sweet how sweet yeah yeah i want to talk about that then yeah yeah we can talk about that you want to talk about that or no i don't care yeah but so let's say i'm a woman yeah right it's escorting really scary at times you know i loved it because i was also on a bunch of drugs but i like but i stopped when the whole like charlie sheen thing came out right when he came out with hiv then i was just like let me just exit real quick because i thought for sure like i i my mom like called me crying she's like i just i don't know i think you like you should go get tested because i got a bunch of [ __ ] from escorting and so like that was like the one thing and then when i got really scared when that came out and i was kind of like you know let me just like chill when you escort you would you still let me if you hook up with you would still protect yourself no not one person used a condom with me ever and i probably slept with probably 300 guys like never use the condom wait so why why couldn't you though but it was fatherly he's being father yeah yeah i'm asking you it's like why can't you go listen i know i'm asking them hot whatever right but you're gonna wear a condom well for the record i was not a hot escort i was like the ugly escort for sure i was not i had like lopsided boobs because i have a boob job now but my boobs were so uneven when i escorted and that's what to your point i would go with like the hottest guys that had like really like look at i wasn't him because he's before my time like hugh grant with divine brown right he was dating elizabeth hurley like it was like that situation with me like i would i would like hook up with like these like hot ass guys and they had hot ass girlfriends and i was like why are you a guy like lopsided tits like i had a gut like it was it was so awesome he's insane it's a power thing you know what i think it is he's crazy i love you i love you so much yeah yeah you're amazing you belong on this show yeah yeah yeah i love it yeah the freedom about you know it's like what pryor said the truth will set you free i mean it they're just a freedom about her that is like so um infectious and i just i i'm jealous of it hey guys i'm gonna take a really quick break to share one of our favorite sponsors with you roman oh yeah roman swipes most guys have tried different ways to last longer in bed but 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of and i did it for a year and like made money and like yeah i just wanted to do it like one of those things i was like might as well i think people just already assumed that i did porn so i was like okay let me just do porn and um but what a great no you did the right thing by like waiting yeah right yeah and then because now i can do like i mean people still subscribe to my only thing i don't really post new content but like all my old videos people buy and i still like make bank off of them so it's yeah it's like really cool i love doing porn that was another thing i think that like just once i did it i was like okay it's out there you know what i mean it's like kind of what you're saying like i think i've been canceled so many times i just like bring up my own guilt kind of like what you said with the farting in the mouth like if you say it no one can use it against you like it's not a skeleton in your closet anymore if you talk about it so i think i pretty much talk about everything and i think everything's already been out there so i feel pretty safe wow you know what all six years that you um escorted were in l.a that's scary to me yeah but but it's but how do you like i wouldn't let's say i was single okay i'm single right and i'm going i would never do it but let's just say like well i want to get into the escort world you want to be an escort no i want to try to get one oh oh oh i don't know you open the door bobby's the escort honestly i think he would make a great sport yeah for sure yeah oh my god you're so entertaining i don't wanna i'm not gay you're a great company i'm not gay you don't have to be you've had gay sex though right yeah yes you could do it for a coin [Laughter] it's like if you've already done it for no coin when i was a kid i did it okay guy let's let let it okay so i watched an episode of you talking about it at the time okay all right let's go back let's go back to like now let's what do i do do i google it google what how do i get an escort craigslist they used to have roses do you remember like 180 roses for a [ __ ] and that was like 180 bucks or whatever that's how i did it like the adult section in craigslist it was everything i like i i did a lot of but a lot of referrals i worked in the strip club i worked at a really ghetto one in vienna it was called godfathers yeah it's like all girls like they're all like literally hookers there for like five dollars right they're all and they're and oh yeah they're like and they're brought over here from i think like guatemala like or yeah from guatemala so like all the like tias are like the bartenders and they're like pimping the girls out and i was like i went there because i was like okay this is easy money like this girl will also put me out or whatever but then um then all of a sudden like like celebrities would go to that one because it was more low-key it wasn't like the body shop or something it was like a low-key one people will like know you there on sunset if you go to van nuys like people aren't gonna know you that's the one where you get like people going in to try and get hookers or whatever so but also just like referral after a while like i just got like referred by like i had a girl that like helped me and i think her name uh i can't think of her name it was on craigslist she advertised as like something beauty i think it was like crystal beauties or something like that and it was advertised there so you just found it wow i used to say it on the street i used to like when i first started i was like on santa monica boulevard like just out there when i first started like when i was like i mean i wasn't 18 but i was like 17. so this is so this is insane so how do you call how do you were you always hypersexual when you were younger or yeah but how do you come from lessons i think that's why how do you become that to a millionaire uh how about think about that voyage yeah i got super lucky i don't know no there's something about it's no i'm going to do this more than that just by you being on here and talking the way you're talking and your ability to like you mean add information and to switch and uh and to like you know i mean you you know how to switch gears you know i mean and you can think on your feet right so and to be on a podcast with ethan klein and it's like you have this ability you have this other talent right but then you also have this other side of you that's like very fascinating but it's just incredible that you at the age of 17 were on santa monica boulevard you know i mean to go from there to now you're in your 30s and you're a millionaire right is insane yeah trish what are your parents um what did your did your parents know that you were an escort then um my mom did my mom because my my mom moved out here when i was like 21 to like help me out and stuff like that because i was literally like going from my boyfriend's house to like living on the streets i lived with my dad at one point because like overdose when i was like 19. so she like came out and helped me yeah so she came out 21 and i was like stripping but escorting and i think she kind of knew it um but i was more high profile at that point so i was like i loved it like i loved like i said i really loved famous people i got over that like i'm like i used to be like i'm gonna end up someone famous but then they cheat there's temptation all that stuff so i was like no i'm not about that life and now i have like a normal like architect like i love him like that's the best relationship but um i loved it because i thought oh these these famous guys like want me you know what i mean he just felt so desirable and i was never like super cute i wasn't like the pretty girl or anything so i thought like this is like what it was i like loved it um but yeah it got scary i had like a couple scary incidences and then like stopped so um but yeah and my dad is like super catholic so he like knows but like he's more like trying to like save me and stuff yeah but are they proud of you now your parents um my mom definitely i think my dad still thinks because of the porn thing last year i think he still thinks i do sex work so he's maybe not as like proud but he's would you but do you talk to him yeah we just have a bad relationship we didn't talk for like years like he left to california when i lived in illinois you know what i mean so we like it was like an abandonment thing from early on but um but yeah we talk now we're good do you think you and i will ever have beef i don't think so you're super like cool which i'm like excited about because sometimes i do podcast and i like have bad like i did like impulsive the logan paul one and like i had such bad vibes after that i was like oh i'm like why did i go on there and this is like [ __ ] [ __ ] about you or what um it was just like very like aggressive you know what i mean and sometimes i get a little nervous to come in but i don't know i this is a good one you feel comfortable you feel comfortable but what i'm saying is is that what i don't want is you saying this right just listen you're saying this right now right yeah you just said that you're comfortable here right right and we're cool and whatnot we have a good rapport but like three months from now i don't want you if i hear another podcast and you would you rip on us i would only say like amazing things about you guys you guys are like so nice no like overtly nice in this situation you know what i mean it's like i don't know it's very personable and i know no because that's the thing too when you talk so much like i do people just think that like i hear people say it like oh of trisha just will just go off on anybody and that's not true it's like it's like really awful people in my life but there's a lot of great people you know and so i think it's just like i should probably talk about those people too but um like um yeah i mean i can't i'm trying to think of like i'm trying to think of like a good person that like i like i don't know i can't think well you know i'll i'll be i'll be honest with you i think that um already i know that well you'll be back on here i hope so and also please be your first guest on bloodbath i would love to yeah i mean like we've all except for esther annie and i have been just it's just molestation central even if like because you know that time i filled in for annie right yeah she would be a great feeling please change i would absolutely love it i love like yeah female dr i don't have a lot of a lot of friends period but a lot of female friends i've never had you know because i think of escorting and stuff like that so i'm like i love being around females but sometimes i'm always like oh but now that i'm older i'm like i want to be around them more because it's like my energy you know what i mean guys like still intimidate me a little bit you know what i mean like i'm very even at 32 i'm very like you know i like hate men it sounds like that the way i talk i'm very like anti-men's are you intimidated by me no you're intimidated by him no [Applause] [Laughter] your wife doesn't think so yeah so that's all that matters um so at the end of our podcast what we do is we do a thing called unhelpful advice trish yeah okay and basically it's a people email us about problems and we either give them good advice or bad advice it doesn't matter so would you like to um help us i would love to thank you i'm not qualified though just but uh before we get to that we actually have a couple of patreon questions we have a lot of tiger belly fans that are fans of you okay uh so i just want to ask two questions this one's from uh jenna a franklin from uh patreon on an episode of frenemies you claimed that you've had your first ever hot dog with ethan but there is a video surfacing of you eating a big juicy hot dog outside a 7-eleven along with a taquito and a big pig could you please explain this we're confused okay yes but i didn't digest it it was an snl sketch that i was doing and i took a bite and i spit it out so i never digested a hot dog so i never actually ate are you anti-hot dogs i don't like hot dogs i don't like the texture i don't like anything you eat spam no i don't even know what it is i know it's in the camera that's her life really try it okay i think like spam and like reese's peanut butter cups from like 50 first dates like that sounded so bomb like if it was with chocolate i couldn't do it by itself what about okay so i make spam like this where i out i add brown i cook it with brown sugar and i like caramelized a little bit so it has the savory and the sweet okay i could be into that what is spam it's mystery meat essentially but i think i'll try it pork base okay i want to say something to you you eat 7-eleven food i love 7-11 food i know but that's don't you think that that's the lowest no hot dogs are like the texture of them or just like i know but 7-eleven for think about it fried i know but i understand that but because i know that you like 7-eleven branded food right i love it i just do um um when i go to 7-eleven and i'll go to like you know their coffee drinks right i'll go i'd rather get starbucks than seven eleven because it just seems cheaper but you're saying they're you think that they're high higher quality 7-eleven yeah no i have always liked trash food like i'm a mcdonald's girl like i like things that are just trash food i think it tastes better i'm not like a i don't have like a high taste dell taco or a taco bell um i think they'll taco they have boba thank you so you eat like doritos and [ __ ] i love doritos like that's like i could like my like i wake up in the morning i like have chips like i love like fritos i love like i have really bad nutrition like i'm for sure gonna die of probably like a heart attack because like i do like do you know what like mukbangs are yes yeah so like that's how i started youtube is doing like mukbang so i'd eat like as much food as i could and i like love it i just i'm just obsessed with food so that'll be my death do you know what he does which is wake up in the middle of the night for food no i don't do that thank god but i think it's because i just eat so much during the day so i sleep through the night like after i have a big meal at night i just sleep i don't but if i woke up in the night that would i'd be so much bigger than i'd be like you are just wow there's no one like you on planet earth there is no one like you it's so true on the planet on [ __ ] earth uh one more question this is from uh chase nielsen now that you've learned more about bobby would you rather survive on a deserted island with ethan or bobby lee and maybe weigh out the pros and cons oh god i think i've learned more about bobby and this that i know about ethan cause i don't know i didn't know about the farting all that stuff like that so i that's the big thing you think that if you were in a deserted island that that's the first thing that would happen obviously in your mouth yeah no that's not i think you have more survival skill because you didn't matter but i'm gonna have to go with my partner in crime and he's my bestie so ethan well what make a case for yourself yes i'm gonna make my case through time okay right because because we've now we're building a foundation right and through time i will make the case and a year from now you will be convinced that i'm the one really yeah you have to plump up a little too because i don't think i could eat off you you could eat off oh is ethan fatter than me um he's just meatier i'm meatier than ethan so i fat or whatever but like but yeah he'd have a little more meaty listen listen lady um i don't think that if we were in a deserted island that that would be the first thing in my mind i'm gonna eat this person yes you would we've got to be in a part of a partnership to survive no i would want to eat the prison i would start eating all right ready i'm hopeful on day one there's meat there but she chooses this yeah i i i'd rather go with ethan i like the idea imagine okay here's a here here i mean um stranded on a desert island there's a big bag of hot dogs or bobby that you could possibly eat oh definitely bobby that's a no-brainer i like the idea of eating a human if it was legal i would try it like i like the idea are you on board with um army hammer or possibly being accountable i don't even know who that is either he's the guy from call me byron social network and he's a cannibal i don't know well he's i he's into a for sure bdsm stuff but um rumor has it that he's into it's kind of one of his kinks is to pretend like he's going to eat his um partner and he doesn't do it though it's that guy oh wow oh yeah does he look like a cannibal no that's crazy oh wow um is he getting convicted like what's happening i don't know anything about it no but he's he's definitely gotten cancelled i like hollywood if it's like a kink and you're not actually doing it i think it's probably okay like if you're like i'm about to eat you and that's like what you get off on i guess it's okay if he's actually doing it there might be a problem i don't know anything about it killing people eating them yeah yeah eat you i like it i like the idea of it yeah unhelpful advice on hopeful advice with trisha my question is for the ladies in the room i've been dating this guy for a few months now we met at the rock climbing gym that i go to we both are avid rock climbers however rock climbing is the only sport he ever wants to do so i find myself doing a lot of more stuff a lot more stuff alone like running skiing hiking and biking he's a great guy and i think there's a lot of potential for this relationship however i do not know i however i do not let it bother me that he's not into many sports or activities that i'm into what do you guys think she's setting really high expectations for a guy yeah he already shares your biggest passion with you which is rock climbing that's insane that you want to go [ __ ] you know i mean base jumping with him that you're requiring all these other things like look i'm a very outdoorsy athletic person my partner is the most sedentary person i've ever met in my life but it works out because i like having my own interests that are solely mine and my time to do that and he likes playing video games and you know when you love somebody you just accept them for exactly for what they are in front of you not for what you want them to become that's that's a that's unrealistic and i think that's [ __ ] up of her to want him to do that yeah yeah i think i totally agree with that too same with being with me and my fiance we're total opposites it's the best yeah it's better to be opposite you don't want someone like on your [ __ ] doing like all the same thing you do like it's like weird so like i dated a youtuber that also vlogged all the time and it was like the most annoying thing in the whole world i was like oh my god we can't both be vlogging our food it's really [ __ ] annoying so i would say yeah be happy with the rock climbing i don't know that's crazy that's a real question like that person i mean no offense but is she like [ __ ] wonder woman like what does he do never date a rock climber why not what a pilot rock climb i can't because of my sweaty pants i just went through my arms that's like i'm gonna go to the [ __ ] mountains now no no no well you can do indoor rocks the wall rock climbing oh i was thinking like free solo oh i mean do it with me bobby no harness no i just feel like all right i'm gonna break up with you sorry that's what you want to do for fun you know i mean on a [ __ ] cliff [ __ ] you that's crazy yeah well i respect it i just don't think she should require that out of uh yeah i i think the rock climbing kind is he a good father are there so many other things you should be worried about outside of his hobbies yeah what sign are you i'm a scorpio but like you trish it's just that i i really burned rubber when i was younger um hypersexual sucked a lot of dick [ __ ] a lot of boys did did it all so now i'm just exhausted by the young girls game oh my god yeah i'd same i like sex to me like with other people just like a lot that sounds like a lot of work yeah yeah i'm a virgo what does that mean honestly i've never met a virgo i don't know anything about virgos no what month is that september yeah yeah yeah yeah i don't know anyone robert redford is a [ __ ] virgo i don't know him robert bradford is i don't know him personally but he's an actor you know that yeah yeah i just don't know like anything about virgos i know a lot about scorpios i was like okay scorpio what's your sign i'm a taurus and my fiance is a scorpio and he's like they're good together um yeah because they're like the opposite ends of the i'm not like so into like astrology don't be that person but yeah they're like opposite ends oh really quick a virgo dislikes rudeness asking for help taking center stage virgo likes animals healthy food books nature and cleanliness that's the opposite of him animal animal animals yeah but you don't you love to take center stage you know how many times i've driven by a tree and i shed a tear virgo virgo bro when i when i'm in a forest i'm [ __ ] i'm destroyed i love nature i just don't want to be in it yeah do you cry after sex no i do something do you yeah i get like post-coital blues sometimes and i don't know if there's something to do with like my childhood but um i get really i don't always cry but i get depressed oh dude oh so it's like sad tears yeah it's like orgasm and then after i just have i feel down whoa and what do you do for it nothing you just cry it out yeah like i have yeah i suffer from depression anyway so i think it's just an extension of that like maybe it's like i don't know what hormones are at play there but it's definitely not a good feeling afterwards it doesn't matter if the sex was great and i'm happy in their relationship i just feel like oh [ __ ] she can come so easy yeah very really so easy huh how lucky are you so lucky that is good yeah that's because i like didn't orgasm until like 20. so that's really good i think that's like when you're like oh you're 28. yeah uh-huh it was like with a it was like in the threesome with like one of those like hitachi things or whatever they are yeah but um yeah maybe that's also from like your traumas like a child because like i had trauma as a child and like after sex i want to like sabotage it like i'm really mean i used to be really mean and i would like say you're ugly you're a piece of [ __ ] like all this crazy [ __ ] like i used to get really aggressive so maybe it's like that same sort that's what i've learned through like therapy i just started therapy a couple years ago and i'm like maybe it's more like it's like an emotional shutdown maybe yeah different like variation right it's or um as dr drew told me on our podcast disassociating he's like it's like you had to disassociate after something that like was traumatic at one point in your life like i love sex but it was like so traumatic even if i didn't know it like when i was like young i thought i liked it and i was like oh maybe that was dramatic dr drew must be very fascinated by you dr drew is always on my side he's so cool he's a great guy yeah i love him he's been on a couple times and like he's like the first i think that's what got the internet to be like on my side because he like explained like i have a mental illness i'm like borderline personality disorder and he like explained like are you borderline yeah and so dr drew was the first well that wasn't the first a doctor told me before him but he was like the first person to explain like splitting disassociating like all that stuff and i'm fascinated by anything borderline by the way because when i was younger they thought i was borderline but you know just by having teenage angst and all of that you you too many hormones are at play to diagnose a young person yes right but when you got when i got older it just turns out that i was bipolar too which is i had very um light mania but very low lows and um anyways with a borderline with people with borderline i just like it makes sense to me yeah like it makes sense to me like the hot the cold the splitting the all of that yeah i didn't know about it until like literally like in the past like a year and a half i was like oh that makes sense i was like oh what yeah what do you want sorry um can i just say something yeah um we want her back right yeah so we want him and it's like um if we keep going yeah right we'll never stop we'll never because i have so many questions i just hope you don't get cancelled for having me on i feel like people are going to send you no we're going to edit look at him he's sweating because he just wrote a hemingway novel i've never seen this video yeah yeah yeah no i'm just saying in general for having me on i feel like people really just like me sometimes so i think let me you know what you go go ahead and yeah because i want to say i'm going to say well first of all um you and i are very similar in many ways we have the same kind of you know ticks and um you know if i was a female i probably exactly like he you know what honestly i believe that i think so too i think that he would be you to tea really so i think we're very similar in many ways so um i don't think so and shut the [ __ ] up thank you i don't know yeah shut the [ __ ] up you shut the [ __ ] up i'll shut it everyone shut the [ __ ] up all right i'm ending it you're ending it yeah yeah yeah i'm ending it okay because it has to be a part two yeah we're gonna have around again all right it also feels like the start of a threesome like okay just one more thing about threesome i read somewhere that there were actually rules to it yeah and if you're a couple seeking a third you should never kiss first and you should go for the third first because it sets the tone for the rest of the time yeah i've only been a plus one and a threesome i would never have a threesome with a boy my boyfriend because like i'm too insecure about it but like i've always been the plus one and yeah it's like you give the girl like the attempt the plus one the attention yeah because otherwise you think like oh they don't want me here why am i here anyway it's trying to imagine a threesome with you too yeah yeah and i'm gonna say that right now i would [ __ ] our lives up i would tackle in a good way in a good way like a hyena it would be so funny i would just i wouldn't be able to do it anyway um here's one thing i will say okay one more one more trisha like after you have sex don't you like if you want to verbally abuse him afterwards that would make me laugh so hard as i'm crying in the corner i'm just verbally abusing him make fun of my dick it's weird-looking um i'm gonna make fun of your dick i'd make fun of like other things oh yeah but have you seen weird penises before oh you know what no i'm not like a peanut chamber i think all penises are kind of cool like i've never seen like a like even like little ones or like crooked ones i've never have you had little ones have you ever micro yeah oh my god okay it's not that bad that's not that bad it's were not asian like i like i never that stereotype it's not like asians are huge but they like you know they're they're average yeah yeah right it's always been like efficient and technical yeah yeah anyway we're not saying another word i refuse give her a round of applause [Music] foreign

Channel: TigerBelly

Views: 1,162,457

Keywords: tiger belly, tigerbelly, bobby lee, podcast, khalyla, tgrbly, all things comedy, mad tv, stand up, tpw, tkats, tfatk, bad friends, comedy podcast, Bobby lee andrew santino, tigerbelly clips, bobby lee podcast, trisha paytas, frenemies, frenemies podcast, cancel culture, off the record, khalyla kuhn, ymh, stand up comedy, bobby lee andrew santino, bad friends podcast, bloodbath podcast, h3 podcast, theo von podcast, comedy, andrew santino, comedy store, 2 bears 1 cave, clips

Id: 4QXiDHZUIjU

Length: 80min 32sec (4832 seconds)

Published: Thu Apr 15 2021