Trashy Sister In Law Demands To Get Married DURING MY Wedding Ceremony Because She Wants Save MONEY

people so how your family ruined your wedding my 27 female fiance 28 male and I have been dating for about six years now and he proposed last year we started planning a wedding almost immediately because we want to start our family soon we are both stable in our jobs we've found a house and are working on a down payment etc basically we didn't see a reason to wait so the date has been set for late September and the venue will be able to support our large number of guests around 200 my brother 25 and his fiancee 24 female recently got engaged and have also started wedding planning my future sister-in-law I'll just say future Syl reached out and asked if she could talk to me about wedding planning thinking she wanted help choosing colors or something I agreed she basically asked me if I could get married in the afternoon and she could get married an hour or two later and then we share the reception she pitched the idea as a great way to become sisters and that she knows how close my brother and I are and that this would mean the world to him in reality I know that they aren't financially well-off and she wants the fancy wedding without the fancy wedding price tag they are both grad students and I assume that she's a little jealous of the elaborate wedding that I have planned I've been saving for this day for a long time I didn't really know what to say but managed to get out but that's mine and fiance's wedding we planned it for us and wanted to be about us she then exploded on me in anger and tears and said that I didn't understand how hurtful it was to see the amazing wedding I'm planning and know that she couldn't have something like that she called me a selfish witch and heartless I told her I waited to get married so that I could afford the wedding I wanted and she told me that she wants to get married before she's old and dried up like some people then I started crying and ran off to go home I got a call from my brother later he stated that while he was on board with sharing the wedding day he's upset with future sister-in-law about how she approached it he asked me to please reconsider and that they would help pay for the extra guests meaning her friends and family who I don't know I was still hurting from her comments and told him that I didn't want to share my wedding day and I wasn't even sure if I wanted future sister-in-law therefore my wedding day my brother quickly said goodbye and hung up I haven't heard from him or future sister-in-law in a few days am I being selfish for wanting that day for fiance and me I feel bad that they don't have the funds right now but I was in grad school at their age and couldn't afford to get married either so I waited because I wanted a huge celebration to share with our family and friends hallo reddit I hope you can look past the awful title and give me a fair judgement so my friend Josie has been with her boyfriend for 15 plus years I've known Josie for almost 6 years and we've been really close despite there being a significant age gap in our relationship Josie and her boyfriend are tying the knot but it's more of a formality they already live together have kids own a house etc so instead of a big extravagant wedding they're renting a mansion to host like 15 people including myself they are getting married on the property and we are going to party there there's a pool and it's on the water so there will be plenty of fun stuff to do in lieu of wedding gifts they just want everyone to contribute to lodging the price isn't outrageous once you factor in how much a destination wedding costs but still it's pricey so Josie has a friend melody that she's gotten really close with in the past three years they are about the same age and both have daughters their relationship is at times of frenemy relationship she also has a girlfriend from work who she's close with named Valerie they've worked together for two years or so Valerie and Josie have been planning the wedding weekend well when I had lunch with Josie Josie showed me the invite list and my name wasn't on it when I asked her about it she said it was an oversight and of course I'd be there I asked why three of the girls had stars by their names and she said that those were the bridesmaid it was Valerie melody and her sister along with the two brothers and melodies husband I asked if I was going to be her bridesmaids and she said I wasn't because melody is more sensitive on me and she'd feel some kind of way about it I asked why Valerie was one and she said valley was helping her planet so it seemed right I decided to let this go until she showed me the plan of the house and I realized there weren't in enough rooms I asked her who was doubling up and she said no one I'd be sleeping on the couch or bunking with the children because I didn't have a plus-one and all the couples were together I told her not to worry about me that I'd just get a hotel on my own so I didn't have to bunk with ten year old girls and a toddler she said she couldn't get married without me and I'd have to be there with them and I said clearly you can get married without me Valerie and melody think I'm being too sensitive and that I'm ruining the wedding but why would I pay to sleep on a couch am I being an idiot I went over to her house last night and I asked all the tough questions you guys would have been so proud I brought up a lot of the questions you guys did the comment section I asked why did the kids get a room who did the floor plan why wasn't I on the list so on and so forth she had great answers to every question we had an opera moment we laughed we cried we drank white wine it was perfect I had my best friend back it was a misunderstanding she said she that meet at the wedding planning group chat and she said although I wasn't a bridesmaid it was a dumb meaningless title and I knew in my heart where her loyalty was I was at peace until I went home and logged into Facebook and say that another girl Alexandra who I know well as well tagged melody Valerie and Josie in a post saying that she'd booked tickets for their last girls fling before the real ring I was so furious I asked Jessie about it and she said that she had to make Alexandra a bridesmaid because she told her she'd be flying into the state for her wedding with her long-term boyfriend she purposely kept that stuff from me because she knew I'd be livid I asked immediately where they'd be sleeping and she said well already wanted to stay in a hotel right I was furious I called her every name in the book and hung up I cried myself to sleep and got blasted drunk I woke up this morning with texts and a hangover she begged me to come to her office this morning so I did I hoped she'd apologize and make things right but instead she asked if I could pick up her toddler from daycare because she was stuck I literally laughed and walked right out about an hour later I got texts from melody Valerie Alexandra saying that if I were really her friend I would suck it up and sleep on the couch I told them where they could put the couch I called my real friends and we had lunch and got manicure a slash pedicure ace screw the wedding x31 and I male 32 had Kara go way too young we are friendly co-parents one big rule we share is if our daughter breaks something she pays for it now sister 27 and I are the only grandkids and never married instead she worked with Grandma and Grandpa at their seamstress store and took it over when they retired sister's girlfriend 29 proposed last year grandpa offered to make future sister-in-law a custom suit which she was over the moon about grandma had me asked sister what her dream dress was and record the convo C's thinking it was just between us told me in great detail what her dream dress was though said it was way too expensive so she would get something much cheaper well a few months later grandma surprised sister with her dream wedding dress it fit perfectly and everyone cried sadly grandma recently passed away which hit us all hard sister was devastated but decided that the dress meant grandma would still be there with us at the wedding the issue comes in with Kara she's very large much larger than sister three days ago we decided to go visit sister and see how she was doing it was great but then camera asked if she could try on the dress sister for likely said no kara made a face but dropped it later we decided to go dinner seasoned I went to pick up our orders but Kara decided to stay and play with sister's dog we got back and the dress was destroyed Kara had apparently tried to get it on popping some seams and got stuck instead of waiting for help she cut her way out the dress was hacked to bits sister was devastated and asked us to leave I grounded Kara and called aunt with some pictures asking if it could be saved she said there was no she said she'd make a new one but it wasn't the same then she dropped the bomb on me grandma had ham sewed most of the dress used super expensive fabric and put almost 500 hours in making that dress since it was the only family wedding we'd have in total the dress cost $12,000 give or take kara has about 15,000 saved from various jobs as well as winning writing competitions this was supposed to help her in college I took her to the bank and set in motion transferring all the funds since as her parent I still have control over it $12,000 to arms to pay for the new dress $3,000 to my sister's wedding as an emotional distress tax I explained exactly why this was happening to Kara but she sobbed the entire time asking what was she supposed to do for college and saying it wasn't her fault I told her she could get a job if she didn't get a scholarship and it was her fault for trying on the dress after she'd been told no and for not waiting until we got back a few popped seams could have been fixed hacking the dress to pieces couldn't kara told my ex and while she agreed Kara was in the wrong after the full story said I shouldn't have ruined her future for a free dress I reminded her of our all and she still thinks I'm wrong so am i the idiot here edit since people are mentioning they don't understand the 3,000 that was to make up to my sister that Kara destroyed the last gift our dead grandma ever gave her I consider that part of the price of destroying the dress since even if Audrey makes it it's lost a great deal of its sentiment value edit three so I got off the phone with my ex about 20 minutes ago some of your suggestions I sent her the pictures and she freaked she apparently didn't believe me when I said it had be hacked apart and believed it was just a few torn seams she was pretty much on my side after she told me that she spent the day badgering our daughter asking her why she did what she did and finally Kara cracked and said she was mad that grandma wasn't alive to make her address and that it was unfair my sister got a free beautiful dress as a reminder when my daughter got nothing despite the many things she was given after the funeral she tried it on took it off when the seams popped and then in anger hacked it apart if she couldn't have a dress from Grandma no one could her own words honestly knowing she did it on purpose has just made things worse the fact that she could be so cruel that's not the daughter we tried to raise she will be going to therapy whether that's in person when local therapists start taking new clients again or on one of those apps people have mentioned we need to talk about it more her punishment stanzas though we are going to see how therapy goes I have yet to talk to my sister but I have talked to her fiance sister isn't doing well the stress has caused a Crohn's flare-up so she's stuck in bed sick which honestly I'm not surprised Crohn's is often triggered by stressful events so I was expecting it I told fiance about aunt making a new dress and she promised to take the remains over to aunt on Monday she's thankful for us addressing the issue but has asked for some space from sister so she can recover and heal and hopefully not end up in the hospital as for the three thousand we'll see what my sister's state is in a few days if she has to go to the hospital then the money is forfeit for her medical bills since it was Kara's selfishness that put her there so she can pay for it if sister does not end up in the hospital then I'll consider giving it back after she's gone to therapy for a few months if she's accepted what she did was wrong and worked to make amends we'll see what the next few months bring my sister is getting married in September assuming all the global stuff is over and she made me one of her bridesmaids I was very excited I've never been in a wedding so this is a new experience I'm also super happy for my sister her fiance is the perfect man for her and I'm so happy they're happy she went bridesmaid dress shopping she picked out these super pretty ones kind of pinkish red and ruffles at the top so we get the dresses and I try mine on I loved it it wasn't too hot and it was just the right height so I can get away with wearing flats me and the other bridesmaids one of our cousins and my sisters future sister-in-law slash best friend try them on and walk out to show my sister my sister looks at me and her face just freezes I asked her if she didn't like it but she just didn't respond she asked if she could talk to me in the other room and I say sure we walk into her bathroom and she just kind looks at me incise vendor's up your breasts look huge which kind of stunned me for a moment I kind laughed it off because I have big breasts I wear a 34dd D so I don't know what she was expecting I asked what do you want me to do about it and she sized again up you can't wear that to my wedding I say okay so we can return these dresses and pick out some other ones if you don't like these she kind of shakes her head and goes no that's not what I meant I'm confused by now she goes I like the dress just not you in it by then I'm like what do you mean and this which goes I don't want any attention straying away from me and my fiance I'm sorry but you can't be my bridesmaid I'm angry now so the problem is that I look great in the dress and she just kind of sheepishly nods I storm out of the bathroom and head to the room where I changed and got back into my regular clothes I walk out and my sister's bridesmaids are asking me what happened and I just throw the dress at my sister and tell the bridesmaids that sister thinks I looked that quote too good in my dress and she's worried that it'll take the attention away from her I walk out and go and sit on the curb to wait for my stepmom to pick me up I can't drive I'm still young my stepmom picks me up and I'd go home to cry because I was really looking forward to being by my sister's side while she gets married and I'm also very hurt apparently my sister and her remaining bridesmaids talked after and my sister told them about our conversation my cousin and my sister's best friend take my side and now they say they won't be a bridesmaid until sister apologizes and lets me be in the wedding again my sister texted me and said that I've ruined her wedding I don't know what to do ex and I divorced a few years back we had three kids she's not a bad person but did not take our separation well she's vocal about how I'm the devil incarnate for not sticking with the till death do us part promise and hates my guts for leaving mostly she has moved on with her life but the sole mention of my name makes her go ballistic to the point that she sometimes needs medical assistance to calm down a year ago I remarried which caused her a lot of anxiety and is currently under medical care to cope with it thus she can't stand being in the same place where I am present I own a small company doing reasonably well despite the current situation this income has allowed me to generously provide alimony housing private schools and other luxuries for my children however because I can't be in the same place as ex without turning into an ugly scene I opted to stay away from birthdays graduations and any special occasions I normally show up with a gift say a few words maybe a hug then quickly disappear to minimize the damage needless to say I have paid in full for all these and while I'm happy to provide I never really get to enjoy any of these events my oldest daughter Roger 25 and I are very close similar in character and get along well I made her partner and work through motely controlling most of our operations she's the person that I feel closer to in terms of family ties my wife jokes that adjure is a clone of mine rather than a daughter ex constantly harasses ad you for being on my side working and even talking to me ex thinks this is a betrayal so consider that you're enlisted in enemy lines Roger has been dating a guy for three years and followed him to another city I've only spoken to the boyfriend a couple of times looks a good young man that could make my daughter happy earlier this week he calls me to say he's proposing this weekend and they want to get hitched elated I give them my congratulations say that I'm very happy for both and wish them good luck together yesterday magicals me to tell me she will start planning the wedding hoping things are back to normal next year deposits reservations need to be made in advance you know the conversation turns to how much I'm going to chip in dollar sign question mark I explained that since I missed so many other celebrations and being such an important person for me I'd like to pay and also be part of it in other words I'd like to attend which also means her mother won't be there or risk a bad experience for everybody agile was not okay with this and despite everything said and done she would prefer her mother to attend I said that I'm good with her choice but in that case as always I will show up in the door with a gift give them a hug a few words and promptly leave however this time I will not pay for a party I won't even see the wife thinks I'm only being cheap and selfish for not providing for a dream wedding for my daughter [Music]

Channel: ASK GURU

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Keywords: askreddit, r/askreddit, askreddit stories, askreddit women, askwomen, askreddit girls, reddit girls, reddit women, reddit sister in law, reddit money, reddit wedding, reddit sister, reddit sil, reddit wost wedding, reddit family

Id: F7nmcHOFipQ

Length: 19min 24sec (1164 seconds)

Published: Mon Jun 29 2020