- You ever watch a wholesome
video on TikTok or Instagram and it makes you feel good? I mean, so much of the
internet can be this toxic, argumentative wasteland, but for once, you're sitting there
smiling at your phone. Imagine that. Imagine a piece of content that actually makes your day better. And then you open up the comment section and it's a fucking war zone. "Going into 2023 with the
same person since 2010." Oh, that's nice. They've been together
for a very long time. Clearly they've worked hard and been able to make
a life for themselves centered around their shared interest. And I mean, really, that's
the dream for anybody, no matter what that
shared interest may be. "And? "Who cares about this?" "Cringe." "Video gaming is the worst
hobby one could have." "What a waste of time." Not like what I do, which
is spend all day on my phone telling other people that
they're wasting their time. "I'm pissef!" "Living behind a screen." "Aren't you doing the same thing?" "No." "You have gamer in your bio." "Are gamers extremely lazy? "Do they ever get up?" I like to think that this
person isn't making fun of them. They're just genuinely
concerned for their wellbeing. Like, "wait, have they really "been sitting there for 13 years? "I hope they're okay. "What if they got stuck?" Like I know that you're opening
yourself up to criticism whenever you post anything online. That's just the nature of the internet. But it's crazy that even the
most uncriticizable posts where someone is just
happily doing something and isn't hurting anyone
else in the process still gets criticized. All right, here's another
TikTok about dishes. - [Ai Voice] In our house, I cook, he does the dishes. And when he cooks, he does the dishes. - Harmless joke, right? They're just subverting expectations of what you might have
expected her to say. So really there's no
reason for someone to get like super about this or anything. "Oh, so he's twice as useful as you are?" "L girlfriend." "So much entitlement. "The woman that posted this "and the woman that
are commenting on this. "Just because you don't like doing it "doesn't mean he does so about helping "and being a good person." "He rather does the
dishes because he knows "you'll never do it
without moaning about it "or showing the initiative to just do it. "You just let him do it because
you're lazy and entitled. "Feeling offended when called out. "But ask yourself, if
you're feeling called out, "doesn't that prove my point?" This video is eight seconds long. "Slavery." That's right. Someone watched this video
and thought, "oh my God "that's exactly what
being a slave is like." And five people agreed? Slavery is when I have to do the dishes, even though I was the one
who cooked that night. "Simps loved to defend
this irrational thinking." "Imagine if the genders were reversed." (laughs) I know, right? Then the comments might be insane. "Normalize men doing chores." "Normalize women changing oil "and fixing the toilet
and paying the bill." Ah yes. Changing oil and fixing toilets. Two things that
notoriously need to be done as often as the dishes. Shit, I changed my oil every time I drive. Only the best for my car.
(car horn beeps) How often do you even
have to fix a toilet? Every couple of years at the most? What are you doing in there? Are you shitting grenades? Look, I don't know who this couple is but I'm positive that
this eight second video does not sum up their entire relationship. Like in my house, Amanda does the dishes like 90% of the time, but
I cook 90% of the time. She cleans more often than I do but I do all the grocery shopping. I don't know, one single chore
doesn't tell the whole story. But even still, being in a
relationship isn't supposed to be this one-to-one transactional exchange where every chore must
be split down the middle and every good deed must be
reciprocated immediately. Hey, I just did something nice for you. (intense music)
Do it back or I'm gonna post about this on TikTok. What are you talking about it? It's my birthday.
(toy squeaking) Oh, I'm supposed to
give you a present too? (somber music)
You would if you loved me. Like no, you just figure out
what works best for you guys and if something's not working,
then you talk about it. Clearly these people are traumatized from a past relationship
where they had to do a chore and they haven't been able to
stop thinking about it since. It's time to move on. All right, you gotta let that shit go. There's another common type of TikTok I've seen multiple renditions of. - [Woman] See you later. - [Woman 2] Bye, you've
been a great help today. - [Woman] That's all right. Thank you, bye. - And honestly, I like Tiktoks like this because I think this is really healthy and a good thing to point out. Like having the desire to be
by yourself for a little bit, doesn't mean your marriage
is bad all of a sudden or you've lost your spark. Most couples go through
this, most couples do this. You are still your own person with your own hobbies and interests. It's not the end of the world. Like sometimes Amanda comes home from work and wants to tell me everything
that happened that day, and that's great. And other times she
just wants to come home and listen to a podcast and play "Stardew Valley" for three hours. And both of those are fine. "That's not good or healthy for couples." "Well, this is crazy
unhealthy in a relationship." "That is terrible relationship advice. "When kids are down,
it's time to be together. "Each of you should have
some time to do what you like "but do it while kids are up. "One watches kids, then the other." That's a very specific rule. "Me and my husband, we have four kids. "That was in the 80s. "All I time was about them. "Now that they are growing
and have they on family, "me and him have some our time. "We love been and around each other "but like he wishing TV and working. "I like been at home alone "and when we at home we
talk about everything "and then like I said, he and
one room and I am and another. "We be merrier her for 40s years, "get along just fine." I think she's on my side here. I'm not a hundred percent sure though. "If you love somebody you'll spect to have "its company as much as they can." It seems like there are two kinds of negative responses to this. There's the people who
misinterpret it to mean that they don't wanna
spend any time together. Even though that's not at
all what they're saying. This is what, like an hour of their day? Some of the time? Relax. But then there's also the
people who use Tiktoks like this to just brag about their own relationship. "Sad. "We like to be with each other at bedtime. "Even after nine years of marriage." Oh wait, you guys have alone time? That's a choice that you make? No, that's great. I'm happy for you. I guess it's just that you must not love each other very much, because I spend every
waking moment with my wife. We have the same job, the same
hobbies, the same friend, us. Our bathroom has two toilets
and they face each other. Few years back, I actually took a class on how to stop blinking and
now I don't do it anymore. What can I say? I guess I missed her too
much when my eyes are closed. Of course there's a balance to this, as this guy will tell you. Not realizing that the
people who posted the TikTok would probably agree with him. If you never prioritize your partner and you're constantly blowing them off to just do whatever you want, go hang out with your
friends, that's a problem. If 100% of the time you'd rather be hanging out with your boys than paying any attention
to your girlfriend, you probably shouldn't be dating her. You should be dating your boys. But at the same time,
I wouldn't personally wanna be in a relationship where my life solely revolves
around the other person. You need time to cultivate
your own interests and work on yourself so you actually have something
to bring to the table. And honestly, sometimes
when your partner is trying to minimize your other passions or turn you against your friends, it's kind of a manipulation tactic. They're trying to make you
fully dependent on them so you have nowhere else to go
and no one else in your life to point out all their red flags. I don't think a
relationship should be about merging into one entity that is useless without the other person. Because if you get too far into it, you're gonna lose sight of who you were before you started dating. Just like with anything though, it comes down to what you
and your partner agree on. If you both wanna spend 24
hours a day holding hands and staring into each
other's eyes, go for it. That's awesome. I'm not gonna stop you. But that's what really gets me
about these comments is that, for the most part,
everybody's just arguing for their own personal preference, in a relationship that
they're not a part of. If you see a video like
this and you think, "well that wouldn't work for me. "Or my wife and I could never
do something like that." that's literally fine! Because you are not in the relationship. Like I just don't understand the need to go around imposing the rules of your marriage onto everyone else. Like what's the point
of even trying to argue with how this couple lives their lives? They've been together for 13 years. If this lifestyle was
unsustainable for them, they wouldn't have been
able to sustain it. If you see this couple
happily on the same page about something and then
decide that actually, you know what's best for
them more than they do. No, you don't! Shut up! In classic internet fashion though, I found another TikTok that's almost exactly
the same as these ones, but all of the comments are
angry for the opposite reason. - After our kids go to bed,
this is how my husband and I have been spending time together at night. I am rewatching all the Marvel movies and my husband is over here, racing in his racing simulator. (laughs) So we're like kind of together right? - Now, I'll admit, the vibe is a little
different in this one. Whereas the other people
were like proudly saying, "Hey, this is something we do. "This is what works in our relationship." This woman seems a little bit more unsure. It also kind of looks like
maybe she's been crying but I don't know her life. I'm just gonna assume that
it was from the movie. Ultimately, I don't know. And I'm not gonna
speculate it on it too hard because this is an Instagram reel and I don't know anything
about these people. Is what I would say if
I wasn't a crazy person. "She just wants him to
do what she wants to do." "Yeah, she's not happy. "Something's going on." "She is low key, putting him down "instead of just talking to her husband, "instead she tries to make a video "and post it trying to shame him." "Could you cry a little less?" "Have you offered or shown any interest "in playing games with him? "Reach into his interests. "I understand that you are not
enjoying this quality time, "visually obvious." Now the thing that these
comments all have in common is that they're all working
off of an assumption. We have decided that
this video is not sincere and since that's now a fact, that we all can agree on,
it's okay to bully you for it. So I was curious, I found them on TikTok. I just saw this one on Instagram and they made multiple follow up videos where they had to be like, "guys, can you stop telling
us to get a divorce?" Like, "we love each
other, we love our kids. "We spent a lot of time together. "I was just kind of tired
'cause we both worked all day "and you guys are looking
into this way too hard. "Please stop, it's weird." Okay, so mystery solved, right? And now that we have that context, I would like to present to you one of the most unhinged comments I have ever read in my life. "I am certain that the
purpose of this video was "we've got this whole history "and all I'm asking for him is to sit here "and watch these movies with me. "I even put on Marvel
movies, 'cause he likes them "and I want to bait him over
here to spend time with me "because he never spends time with me "after all that we've been through. "I don't even care about Marvel movies." Right, because Marvel movies over boys and women can't like superheroes. "I'm just making sacrifices
to stop enjoying my life "not doing things I want to do "or grow as a person, have a hobby, "all for him to just pay me
the slightest bit of attention. "No one appreciates sacrifices
they didn't ask for, "do what you want to do. "If that doesn't feel like quality time, "speak up. "If you feel like this relationship "is costing everything you
want from life, speak up. "Otherwise shut up." Holy shit. We're not even halfway through by the way. "And if you do speak up, and
that's not what he wants, "it's okay to move on with your life. "If you feel like you could
do better and deserve more, "go reach for it. "But don't go crawling back just "because you don't like
the new life you have :after you've thrown away your old one "and destroyed all semblance "of peace for yourself and your family. "Stop wasting your time doing things "that don't make you happy, you
literally have this one life "and you're choosing to cry on TikTok "rather than make a meaningful difference. "Obviously he's happy and
comfortable the way it is "and if you divorce him, "he'll probably just enjoy
more of his free time "after a fucked up dark
period of feeling worthless "and that nothing that he does is enough. "Because that's what you are saying here. "Nothing that has happened
before was enough for you." Absolute insanity aside,
he based this entire rant on the assumption that she's
pretending to like the movies. Like you never stopped to
think, "Hmm, what if this thing "I'm making up isn't actually true? "That would kind of
destroy my entire argument "and make me look like an asshole. "Nah, I'll do it anyway." Isn't it fun though, that
the internet is so used to just yelling at each other all the time that you can post two videos with essentially the same thesis and cause a riot for two opposite reasons? Social media is so fun. I'm having a great time. Now if you're anything like me, seeing all of this unasked for discourse kind of makes you never want to post any private information about yourself because people are just
going to use it to bully you or speculate on your behalf. You might even think to post
a TikTok where you're like, "hey, my partner doesn't
post about me on social media "but that doesn't mean the
relationship doesn't work "because he loves me in real life "and that's really all
that matters to me." Only to find out, that
even that's wrong too. God, and don't even get me
started on parenting TikTok. I would never in a million
years post a video of my child because I'm just gonna
get a bunch of comments from people telling me that
I'm doing everything wrong. Like you'll see a video of
a kid falling down, right? I'm not saying I seek those
kind of videos out or anything it's just sometimes they pop
up and I watch them, okay? But the kid will fall down, right? And the mom will be like,
"oh no, are you okay?" And someone will comment "wrong,
let her get up on her own "or she'll never learn
how to be independent." And then you'll see the same kind of video where the parent will instead be like "Hey buddy, you're fine,
just shake it off." "Wrong, she's clearly hurt. "You were supposed to keep
her safe and you failed, "and now she'll never trust
anyone and it's all your fault." It's like, okay, what am
I supposed to do then? Because it doesn't seem like
anything is right to you guys. What's ironic about this though, is I feel like a lot of
these kind of commenters are the same people who
will shame young people for not having kids yet. Come on guys, be useful to society. Give birth already! And then post about them so we can nitpick all of your choices. Really though that's just like
the whole internet right now. No matter what kind of
content you're making, no matter what you're doing,
you'll just be living your life and then someone will be like, "That's not how I would do it." Well I didn't ask, buddy. Now the last video I wanna point out has some pretty insane discourse. Partly 'cause I found it on Twitter. I mean in general, when a
TikTok gets reposted to Twitter it's not usually like, "hey, look at this funny TikTok I found." It's like, "hey, look at
this piece of shit I found, "we should set their house on fire." - Day one of being a stay-at-home husband. (upbeat music) Made us some tea and cuddled on the couch. And then I started to pack her lunch before she went to work
with all her favorite foods. Snuck in a love note. Drove her to work. - You get the idea. You know, it's a guy who loves his wife and is clearly doing a good
job of taking care of her. They seem to be in a
healthy, happy relationship. Not really anything to judge, right? "This is more disturbing than gore." "In what universe is that a
superior life to living alone?" "It's a terrible lesbian couple." "Okay, I lost it at
the Beyond Meat jerky." I'm sorry, was there like
a meeting they all went to where they all decided one day (laughs) that all the guys like this on Twitter have to change their profile picture to some random dead guy statue? What does it mean? Every time you see someone on Twitter with a profile picture like this, I promise you, they're about to say the worst take you've ever heard. "The only thing gay here
is using a straw at home." (somber music)
Fellas, is it gay to drink stuff? Have you noticed that like
everything has discourse now? Everything is it debate even
if it doesn't need to be. And some of it is constructive of course some of it is
very much worth having. But then I'll see people
arguing about like, which basketball player
having a better season or how much cream you're
supposed to put in your coffee. Like the fate of the world is on the line. I feel like there's this anger that seeped into every
part of the internet and it's so hard to avoid without just staying
off of it all together. Like you'll see the most
innocuous comment in the world that for some reason as 97
replies and you're like, "huh, what happened here?" And the most recent reply will be like, "no, I'm not the one defending genocide. "You're the one!" It's like, huh, how did they, what? Who even brought that up? And I think what really sucks about it is so much of it is by design. Like there were those
documents that came out that showed Facebook's algorithm was more likely to suggest something if a lot of people were using
the angry reaction emoji. And then outside of Facebook, on Twitter, I've noticed that a lot of times the tweet at the top of a thread, is not
the one with the most likes, but the one with the most replies because it's the most controversial. It is the most likely way to stretch out the amount of time you
spend on that thread because now instead of just
the one original paragraph, there's now dozens of insane ramblings for you to scroll through. Even Instagram is starting to show some of the worst comments near the top. That's how I found the ones in this video. I wasn't scrolling to the
bottom, they were at the top. And it's all because a computer told them that these kind of comments
increase engagement. Let's not worry about
what kind of engagement. Let's not worry about the fact that this specific kind of engagement actually makes people feel like shit and they're worse off
when they leave the app than they were when
they came onto the app. And not only is this making the overall user experience more negative, but by showing the hateful
comments to more people, because you know, that's what will get
them to interact with it. Aren't you like actively
encouraging people to write hateful things? Like most of the time if
someone's being an asshole online they're just doing it to rile people up. They're doing it to get a response. And if the algorithms did a better job of flagging and suppressing those things and maybe after a while
those people would be like, "hmm, it seems my efforts are fruitless. "This is no way to spin my days. "I need to get my shit together." And then they like put on a suit and tie. But from like the user side, our side, I don't really know what the
answer is besides just like spending less time on the internet. It just sucks though 'cause
sometimes it's really fun. You know? Sometimes I don't get pissed off at all. I just laugh a lot. I like the internet. I like connecting with
people across the world. I like finding new talented creators and following them and seeing
what kind of stuff they make. There's so much good out there. I just, I wish it wasn't
so depressing sometimes. Anyway, for all the people who have sat through this whole rant and didn't care 'cause they don't really
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