- Exciting news, everyone. I put my cat on a shirt.
(bright music) She has no idea she's on a shirt. Get yours today at drewgoodenshop.com Hey guy, welcome back to WatchMojo's Top 10 Days of the Week. Number four, Thursday. I love horror movies. I think it's such a fun genre. The experience you have
while watching one is so much different than just
about any other type of movie. It's funny to look back
on all the stress I felt over the years while
watching horror movies because objectively speaking, I wasn't in a stressful situation. I was just sitting on my couch scared because there's something on the TV. Okay, turn it off. Close your eyes, dude. There's no danger here, idiot. Some of my all time favorite
movies are horror movies, but also some of my all
time least favorites. Let me tell you about
the 2021 Netflix original "There's Someone Inside Your House." There are a lot of things
that I hate about this film, but perhaps nothing more so than the title being a complete lie. No, there's not someone inside your house. This movie barely takes
place inside of one. You can't just come up with
a cool title for a movie and then write a script that
has nothing to do with it. I mean, apparently you can
because that's what they did, but I don't think you should
be allowed to do that. I think they should be in jail. The opening scene was
actually pretty good, and from what I can tell what they named the entire movie after. It opens on a static shot of what seems to be the only house for miles. Truck pulls into frame,
guy starts an egg timer, takes a little nap, and when
he wakes up, his phone is gone and it's been replaced by the timer. Who put that there? So he goes downstairs where he sees that the front door is wide open. Oh, shit his car's gone. Don't like that. If I didn't know any better, I'd say there is someone inside his house. Anyway, he dies pretty hard and then they play the opening credits. At this point though, I'm invested. Like this was a creepy and well-directed opening
that set the stage for what should have
been a much better movie. The synopsis is that
there's a secret killer who's also sort of a secret killer, in that he kills people who have secrets. The first guy's secret is that he violently assaulted someone else on the football team, almost
beat the guy to death. The second person who gets
killed is the popular girl who tries very hard to seem
open-minded and public, but has a secret white
supremacist podcast. Got it. So we're killing people who are doing something
harmful to others in private. That's the theme here. Until the third murder,
which isn't that at all. One of the only likable
characters thus far gets murdered because
he has a pill addiction. Okay, send him to rehab then. Addiction doesn't inherently
make you a bad person, especially if you're
not hurting other people while you do it. Why is he getting murdered
over his own personal struggle? Also, this happens at a party where everyone else is
underage drinking and smoking. Is that not held to the same standard? Kind of seems like
everybody's intoxicated here. But unfortunately, the movie continues. There's now a fourth
victim whose secret is, get this, he's gay. So now I'm really confused about the politics of this murderer. So you hate big pharma, you hate racism, and you also hate gay people. Which side are you on, man? Also, the guy he stabs in this scene was the one who got his ass
kicked by the first guy. So you kill one person
for doing a hate crime and then you commit a worse hate crime? Who the fuck wrote this movie? It's around this point where we learn that the main character, Makani, also has a secret past of her own. She was involved in some
kind of hazing incident where she drunkenly pushed another student into a bonfire that almost killed her. So now we would be worried about her if this movie gave us any
reason to give a shit, but I certainly don't care. She miraculously survives, tells her friends about her secret, and now there's time for
one last confrontation. And if I wasn't mad at this movie already, this scene would be the thing
to put me over the edge. So they go to a cornfield
maze that's on fire and drive a car through the fire, which I don't think is
something you can do, but this movie's making me doubt any scientific knowledge I've ever had. So who's to say? What really made me mad though is how stupid this movie thinks we are by foregoing any chance
they had at subtlety. We know that the main
character has trauma associated with big fires. That's the thing we just learned. So if you're going for symbolism here, just show her face and show the fire and we'll piece together that. Oh my God, you're doing a flashback. You're doing a flashback to the scene you just
showed six minutes ago? Is this movie made for toddlers? I would hope not because there's
a bunch of murders in it. Anyway, it turns out it was the angry rich kid this whole time. Who could have seen that coming? I mean, he's probably the only
character who could afford to keep 3D printing photorealistic masks of all the victim's faces, but I guess we weren't supposed to think about that until now. Watching this movie for
the second time now, definitely ruined my day, but I'm not gonna let it ruin my month. Surely there's worse movies
out there that could do that. So I headed to a local record store that turned out to have a
fantastic selection of horror DVDs and also "The 40-Year-Old Virgin," which sounded a little too scary for me. This was the exact mix
of classic horror films and straight to DVD garbage
that I was looking for. I found some absolute gems here, and I could not wait to take them home and force my wife to watch them with me. First up, we've got the
1999 thriller "Bats." I love that this movie wastes
no time getting to the bats. We open on some couple
arguing in their car and they get like two lines out before being absolutely ripped to shreds. - Will you us listen to what I'm saying? - I heard what you said, Quinn, but Donna told me everything
you're saying and everything- (glass shattering)
(dramatic music) - Then we cut to a cave in Arizona. Guess what? More bats. I could honestly cry. I've never seen a movie
so faithful to its title. We're introduced to two
of the main characters in this movie, Dr. Sheila Casper, who
likes to go inside caves and look at bats, and Jimmy, who just sort of
talks to her on the radio from outside the cave. - Hey Jimmy, if you hate
bats and caves so much, what the hell are you
doing with me, anyway? - Oh no, Jimmy doesn't like bats. Something tells me this is gonna be a really rough day for him. Unfortunately, whatever
their mission here is gets cut short when a helicopter lands and a guy named Tobe comes out and tells him he needs their help. - I'm Dr. Tobe Hodge. We need your help immediately. - I have to say this is the perfect name for someone with that haircut. If you go to your barber
and ask them for the Tobe, you're gonna walk out of
there looking like this. - There's a biological emergency. - What kind of biological emergency? - Say it. - Bats. - Yes! - Dr. Casper. Bats. - Let's fucking go, dude. This movie is about one
thing and only one thing. - So ma'am, you're a
doctor now of what exactly? - Bats, Sheriff. I work with bats. - Bats? - Yeah, I'm starting to think this movie might have some bats in it. - Uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh. - [Drew] So Sheila, the
bat doctor, gets called in to examine the very dead body of the guy killed in the opening scene where she notices a fang. - This is impossible. These, these bats only
feed on fruit and nectar. This must be some kind of sick hoax. - Unfortunately, we're fairly certain that this is not a hoax. - Yeah, there's a mangled
corpse in front of you. It'd be kind of weird if we
just brought this in as a joke. - Bats do not kill people. There must be some other explanation, one that has absolutely
nothing to do with bats. - Wait, wait a second. Are you saying some kind of bat did this? - I love how many of the scenes early on are just someone being like,
"I think a bat did this," and someone else being like, "Bats?" - We think this was done
by some sort of bats. - Bats?
- Uh-huh. - Favorite character in
this movie by far is Jimmy, who as we discussed doesn't like bats and yet chose a career path
entirely devoted to them. He's also written to be so dumb. - We need to know what we're
dealing with here, doctor. - I'm kind of curious myself
now that you mention it. - Yeah, now that you mention it, I would kinda like to know what's going on with all these murderous bats. I wasn't interested until this moment. Although everyone's kind
of an idiot in this movie, so it's just par for the course. - So you're saying that the
bats can only infect other bats. Now that's bullshit. - I'll give them a little bit of credit. There are some scenes that
are actually pretty scary. I mean, in general, the idea
of, you know, being chased by a giant swarm of flying
animals trying to kill you is not the worst concept
for a horror movie. It just gets a little silly when they start doing some of the closeups of the bat puppets. - What'd I tell you? - Oh, this one they just threw into a cage and shook it around. Apparently the bats aren't
just hungry for human blood. They're also smart too. They managed to put a tracking
device on one of them, and then two other bats fly in and kill it in a scene that ends with everyone halfheartedly jogging. (dramatic music) And cut. Perfect, guys. Love the lack of urgency. Somehow in between their many
close encounters with death, Sheila and the Sheriff Emmett find time to awkwardly flirt with each other. - Try to be gentle but firm. - Think I can handle that. - I'm sure you can, Emmett. - Yeah, like with sex. So the bats starts spreading and things are clearly getting outta hand. I love the scene where this
kid somehow doesn't notice the guy next to him screaming in agony because he's playing a video game. Society, am I right? And I gotta say the directorial
choice to have this shot where the cameraman
sprints across the room towards the attack
followed by 75 quick cuts, absolutely hilarious. This is what filmmaking is all about. Oh no, now they're
attacking the whole town, or actually just flying above it, I guess. They attack a couple people, but for the most part they're
just out there making noise. One of 'em flew directly into a neon sign. That was pretty dumb. Thank God Sheila was here to save this kid who seemed to be in absolutely no danger. There's actually multiple
people in this scene who are standing perfectly
still that Sheila saves just by telling them to move. That's the kind of intelligence
only a bat doctor can have. I like when this cop tries
to deescalate the situation by verbally threatening one of them, and that doesn't go too well. - Take it easy. Back! - No bat with a T. - [Cop] No! - Tried to tell you. I also like when all the
cars just start exploding. What, the bats have grenades now? Sad news, everyone, Tobe died. I guess he was the only reason
the bats were in this town in the first place because they immediately
flew away after killing him. Ah great, now we have
to clean up the town. The bats left newspapers everywhere. Don't worry though, they've come up with a rock
solid plan to save the day. They're going to freeze the bats with a giant refrigerator. - When the temperature
drops below 40 degrees, bats begin to hibernate. All we need are cooling
units powerful enough to freeze the roost. - [Drew] Uh-huh. - Then we're gonna need
some special gear to go in. - What? We're going into the roost? - Dammit, my job of studying
bats is yet again at odds with my fear of them. - When this is over, I'm gonna lay on a beach
for like three years, some place they ain't
never heard of a bat. - Or you could just pick a different job. (dramatic music)
(all shouting) - Is this what you call normal? - I wouldn't call much of anything I've seen in the last few days normal. - Yeah, I bet she's
talking about all the bats. Anyway, they turn on
the giant refrigerator and manage to outrun all
the bats through a cave and up a ladder and down a
corridor and up an elevator shaft and out the entrance all with
about a 50-foot headstart. Geez, maybe instead of
becoming bat scientists, they should have competed in
the Olympics because holy shit. The best part of this chase though is when Emmett stops running and turns around to shoot
a gun at 7,000 bats. (gunshots firing) I can't believe that didn't work. And now we can sit back and enjoy this nine minute long explosion knowing full well that
all the bats are dead and the world is safe. Oh no! (dramatic music)
(bat snarling) (car whooshes) (bat squelches) (upbeat music) (Drew applauds) That's the best ending I've ever seen. Actually, that is kind of funny. I was so convinced they
were gonna do that thing that bad movies do where they hint at a sequel
at the end, just in case. But no, they knew. I think they knew "Bats"
would be one and done. As great as that movie was, I'm just glad I can finally watch the behind the scenes featurette and learn how Bob Gunton feels about bats. - They're so ugly. Va va va voom! They're nasty looking. - Uh, he doesn't like 'em. I think the four outta
10 this movie has on IMDB is just about spot on. But the thing about a four outta 10 movie is that it can still get worse. So our journey continues. Up next, we've got "Dream Home," and somehow this is actually
a pretty substantial step down from "Bats." I want you to take a second to really admire the graphic
design on this cover. You've got this ancient
looking Victorian house, a ghostly silhouette peering down from the second story window, a child looking up in fear, the words murder and kill
scratched onto the blank part of the DVD cover. None of this is in the
movie, nothing at all. Look at this house and then look at the
house they actually use. Not even close. Right away I'm getting the vibe that the main goal of this production was to pad the runtime just enough that this can legally be called a movie. During the opening credits, one of the shots they use is of a ghost slowly moving across a gazebo and it goes on for 39 seconds. Every scene in this movie
ends with a fade to black that lasts way too long. - I want that house. - Is it over? But none of the transitions
can hold a candle to this one. Listen closely - Now go call him right now while it's still fresh on your mind. - I will. - [Director] Cut. - They forgot to edit that out. - [Director] Cut. - So the editing is fantastic, the directing is top notch, but it's the writing that
really sets this movie apart. - Look! - What? - Look at that. - What? - Look at the house. - What?
- Wow! So much is being conveyed in that scene. She wants the house, but he can't even see the
house because he's driving. It's heartbreaking. - Leave me alone. - They do such a good job of subtly hinting at her
interest in the house. - That house is beautiful and I love it. I want that house. I fell in love with the house. I want it. - [Darren] I know you
really want this house. - Baby, I want that house. - [Darren] You really want
this house, don't you? - Baby, I need this house. - When they meet up with the realtor who wants to sell them the house, at first I was really confused why the director let him stand in a spot with such horrible lighting, but then I realized it must
have been a creative choice. I think it represents that
beneath his sunny appearance, there's something dark
lurking in the shadows. Who is this man, and why are they still so
hell bent on buying the house even after hearing how shady he's being? - Heard a couple of mixed
stories about this place. - You said mixed stories. What are some of the others you heard? - Ah, just a couple of guys
joking at the water cooler. - Um, like what? - Nothing that should concern you. - Oh, okay. Well, then I won't worry about it. You wanna go ahead and buy the house? Yeah, that's a good idea. - Look at this place. This place has got to be
at least 80 years old. This place is incredible, Darren. - Wow, look at how dusty
and decrepit everything is. It's perfect. This is where the first and possibly only scary
moment of the movie happens. - Seems like no one ever lived here for the past 50 or 60 years. - 75 years. - What the fuck! - Man, where in the
hell did you come from? - I'm sorry. I didn't mean to startle you. - I don't know, man. It kind of seems like you did. - I live around here. I saw you two looking at the house and thought I would
come over and say hello. - And you're sure you're
not trying to be creepy? - This is no ordinary house. In many ways, it's like
any other old house, but it's special. - Uh-huh. - They don't build them like this anymore. - This goes on for so long. - This house can feel you. (eerie music) This house knows what
you're doing at all times. - Has he blinked at all? This house can see you? - Are you trying to tell me
that this house is alive? - You should be okay, but just remember, this house is unlike anything you've ever encountered before. - Okay, thanks buddy.
(Drew scoffs) - Just remember you
will die in this house. All right, appreciate it, bro. Gee, I wonder if that insane encounter with the neighbor changed
their opinion at all about the house. - I want this house. - Not even a little bit. (eerie music) - Man, look at all the changes we've made. - Oh, I'd love to, but I can't. The camera's pointing the wrong way. Well, against all odds, it seems like everything
turned out okay for them until Faye finds an old
necklace under the bed and we hard cut to the
most disorienting montage. (eerie music) (tense dramatic music) I don't know what the
fuck is happening here. Weirdly, this actually almost
works as a creative choice just because of how surreal
and unsettling it is. Now, I thought that Faye saw
all this as she picked it up, but I would assume that's not the case because if she did, I don't know why the hell
she would then put it on. General word of advice to
anyone in a horror movie. If you find an old piece of
jewelry with a mysterious past, don't wear it. It never ends well. You're gonna take on some sort of curse. While this is happening, Darren heads down to the hardware store to pick up some paint and he gets to witness one of the greatest line
deliveries I've ever heard. - When I first moved into town, my parents used to see a
lot of those kids going in and out of that house and they warned me not to go there. - I don't think we've ever
seen anybody living there again considering what happened. - Wow, that's gotta be pretty scary to hear two strangers talking about how haunted your house is. Let's capitalize on this momentum by showing a silent credit
card exchange in full without any cuts. - 40. Got that? All right. - Perfect. Later on, they invite their
friend April over for dinner and I'm just trying to figure out where the hell all this food came from because that is not
what they were cooking. It kind of looks like the crew
didn't have any actual food to prepare in this scene, so they just had her boil
a little pot of water and a big pot of water, which she stirs and stirs until it turns into this giant meal. Movies are awesome. After dinner, April
politely asks for a tour. - I'm ready for my tour now. - And Faye shows them the only room they already saw earlier. - This is it. - I can't believe it. - [Drew] You can tell she didn't show them any other part of the house
because April has to ask her where the bathroom is. It's in that bathroom
where the weird neighbor from before makes his triumphant return. (eerie music) - [Neighbor] Happy birthday. (April screams) Happy birthday. - [Drew] The next day Faye
runs into him in the woods where she seems completely unfazed by him being the creepiest person alive. - You'd be surprised what you can find just lying around out here. - Hey, I remember you. You were here that day
we bought the house. - That's right. How is it treating you? - Pretty good. - That's good. That's real good. It does me good to see two
young people doing good. - I love how much of the
writing in this movie is either that's good or that's bad. - You just don't know how
bad that makes me feel. I really don't have a
good feeling about it. It's just that I get this
bad vibe when I see it. It's like the thing is tied
to something really bad. I just get this bad
feeling about that cross. - Also, everyone keeps describing
the house as beautiful. - It's beautiful. This place is so beautiful. - We're moving into this
beautiful old Victorian home. - Mm, that's a beautiful home. Even as old as it is, it's
still a beautiful home and I've always thought it had been. That's a beautiful house. - They can't get enough
of this beautiful home even though something happened there, but no one will outright
say what happened there. They just keep beating around the bush. It's kind of frustrating. - If you don't know
what I'm talking about, you'll find out soon enough. - I watched this scene three times and I still have no idea what
the fuck she's talking about. - You're in the house. The event is still going on,
whether you know it or not, and for some reason you're
becoming a part of that event. - What? - You see, you've done
something to connect yourself with whatever took place. I guess you or your
husband have done something to connect yourself. - What is happening? - Even if something happened there, if anything happened at all, how could it be the cause of
something that's happening now? - You don't understand, do you? - Of course she doesn't. No one does. She just keeps going. I don't even know if this was scripted or if they just had her ramble
something vaguely creepy. - If it's connected to
anyone involved in the event, you wearing it will provide a gateway for whatever happened then to happen now. - Uh-huh. - Not only will the event
continue to go on in the past. - Uh-huh. - But now you and your
husband will be a part of that occurrence. - Oh, okay. - How do we get out of it? - In order to get outta something, you first have to know
exactly what you're in. - And since you clearly don't, and I refuse to explain it,
I guess you're just fucked. And then this same
mystery woman finds Darren as he's leaving work and
she creeps him out too. - Can you give your wife a message for me? - Excuse me? - Tell her to be wary of her dreams. Tell her that sometimes our dreams aren't what they seem to be. Sometimes it's our mind's way of telling- - Our minds way. Can you slow down? - Things that have happened in the past or of things that are going to happen. - Nah, I'm not even gonna try. The most accurate thing
about this entire movie is that he actually does have
trouble remembering her long and convoluted message. - She said like, she said. Okay, she said, "Your
dreams," or something like. Oh, okay. She said that you- - I don't wanna hear it, Darren. - But finally, after explaining nothing, the entire movie with three minutes left, we finally learn what
happened to the house, and I can't even pay attention to it because I'm so distracted by
how they chose to film it. - When her mother woke up,
she went to Juliana's room. They say you can still see the father walking around the house sometimes. As he walked close to Juliana's bed. When the town people found
out about this insane man, nothing. They said you can still see the mother. - And the mom was evil too, and the dad was evil too. - Faye! Wake up, Faye. I'm sorry. Faye!
- Oh, she's dead now. Oh nevermind, she was just sleeping. - She don't understand. It's not him. It wasn't him. (eerie music) - I'm gonna be honest, I still don't know what
happened in this movie. The best thing about "Dream Home", besides how good it, is getting to read the
reviews from like 15 years ago from all the people who are so angry that they paid money to
rent this from Blockbuster. "This was the absolute worst
movie I have ever seen. "I cannot even begin to
explain the way I felt "when this was over. "I was ripped off. "The front of the box
looks really interesting, "the kid on the bike. "Oh yeah, why would he have
anything to do with this movie? "Duh, there's not even
one child in this movie. "If there were a way to recall movies, "this film should be put a fire. "Take my advice, don't rent this movie, "buy this movie, or
even watch it on cable. "I'm sure you can find better things to do "for an hour and a half, "like ripping your
toenails off one by one." Damn, seems like everybody
hated this movie. But two outta 10? It can still get worse. And that's where the "Curse
of the Zodiac" comes in. This may just be it. I think this is the worst
horror movie ever made. Now this movie came out in 2007, the same year as the David
Fincher "Zodiac" movie, so I'm pretty sure this only exists to confuse the then patrons
of video rental stores. Honey, this is that new
Jake Gyllenhal movie, right? Eh, probably. It's not like we can Google it. We only have internet at home. But even still, this has no business being as terrible as it is. This is barely even a movie. It's directed almost like a music video, but one that's 80 minutes
long and has no songs in it. So much of it is just these
constant flashing cuts and every shot is so overly stylized that I don't even know what
I'm looking at half the time. They made some truly
baffling editing choices. Like what is even the point
of doing something like this? - Randy, where the hell have you been? I've been looking for you all night. - If I had to guess, I would say that all of
this was a conscious effort to distract us from the fact that this movie has no script. - Oh, and by the way, speaking of the couch,
you can have the couch. - Yeah. - A stupid pink couch in
an orange colored room does not work anymore. - I refuse to believe that the actors are not
improvising every line on the spot. - Crazy ain't cool, and it, it, you know,
normally I'd have fun, you know, hanging out with someone and, and dating someone
that's a little crazy, but this is getting ridiculous. - They're constantly
talking over each other or trailing off. - He's trying to, I don't know. He's, he's trying to
make us think I guess. - As far as the plot goes, it is loosely based on the
world famous Zodiac Killer, but it's sort of like the
movie someone would make about the Zodiac Killer if they knew nothing
about the Zodiac Killer. Okay, he's leaving some clues behind and there's some symbols involved, but also he shows up in this girl's dreams and keeps calling this detective and saying the same four
lines over and over again - [Killer] In my book,
two plus two is three. Maybe you wanna meet in
the middle, fat fuck, make it a four, fat fuck. Your black eyes, pretty girl. Your black hair, pretty girl. - Half the movie is just
him yapping about nothing. - [Killer] The Sandman, AKA Z-Man, AKA the Zodiac. My name is Zodiac, Z-O-D-I. - Although I do like the
way he says San Francisco. - [Killer] I'm stepping
around in San Francisco. - I would say my least favorite character is the world's most useless detective. He makes zero progress
from start to finish and is just confused the entire time. - [Detective] I'm confused. - They could not have come up with a less interesting character. On the flip side, my favorite character is definitely this piano
playing murder victim who made such a bizarre
choice on how he would talk. - Do you enjoy the piano? - [Friend] Yeah. - Great sound. - You can see him trying
not to laugh here. - Whoops. I made a mistake when I was playing. - Honestly, I really don't wanna spend that much more time
thinking about this movie. It made me feel gross the entire time. It actually made me miss
the production value of "Dream Home," a movie that had the boom mic
in frame most of the time. So this movie was written
and directed by Ulli Lommel, whose name I'm probably mispronouncing. But let me tell you about this legend. This man acted in over 90 movies, he wrote and directed over 60, and look at this
unprecedented run he went on from 2003 to 2012. The sheer consistency with
which he was putting out ones and twos. You may never see
something like this again. I don't know if we'll ever see anyone match this kind of legacy. This is about as badass as it gets. To be so confident in who
you are that you can say, "Yeah, maybe I don't have
a story worth telling here, "but I'm not gonna let that stop me "from making a hundred movies." Maybe next year I'll do a deep dive on his entire filmography, but for now, I need a break. This was rough. Well, I hope you all enjoyed
watching me suffer through this as much as I hated every minute of it. But if you can believe it, even after watching all of that, you're only now getting to the
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did just add a rule that if you make it all the
way to the end of a video that's posted on or before Halloween, you have to give the person who posted it all of your Halloween candy. So guess I gotta get me a PO Box. Bye-Bye. Happy Halloween. Hate YouTube.
