on "America's Supernanny." [baby crying] No. DEBORAH TILLMAN (VOICEOVER):
I meet a family on the edge. Ow. DEBORAH TILLMAN (VOICEOVER):
With two jobs and two schedules-- BRUCE: She's setting
me up for failure here. DEBORAH TILLMAN (VOICEOVER):
Mom and dad are like strangers and are headed for divorce. I've just kind
of like given up. DEBORAH TILLMAN (VOICEOVER):
Nine-year-old Dillon runs the house with
defiance and violence. Ow. DEBORAH TILLMAN (VOICEOVER):
And now his three sisters are following in his footsteps. An exhausted mom and
dad have given up. Something's got to be done. You keep going this way,
you're going to regret it. Hi. DEBORAH TILLMAN (VOICEOVER):
So I'm stepping in, bringing my tested techniques.
- Donate? Yeah.
DEBORAH TILLMAN: Sounds good. Throw it in the box. DEBORAH TILLMAN (VOICEOVER):
My expert perspective. Not stop.
Say you're OK. You're OK. And walk away. DEBORAH TILLMAN (VOICEOVER):
And my tough love. I don't care if
he doesn't help you. You got to get some backbone. DEBORAH TILLMAN (VOICEOVER):
To bring this family back from the brink. Do you want your daughter
to stop the clinginess, or don't you? DEBORAH TILLMAN (VOICEOVER):
My name is Deborah Tillman. I'm a wife, a mother,
and my child care centers are amongst the
best in the country. Go. DEBORAH TILLMAN
(VOICEOVER): I've dealt with every kind of kid. What in the world was that? DEBORAH TILLMAN (VOICEOVER):
And every kind of family. They don't have the
problem, you have the problem. DEBORAH TILLMAN (VOICEOVER): The
dog pees and poops over there? [child screaming] This is a madhouse. DEBORAH TILLMAN
(VOICEOVER): Some people call me a miracle worker. I'm so glad you're here. But you can call me
America's Supernanny. [music playing] DEBORAH TILLMAN (VOICEOVER):
I'm in Danville, New Hampshire today to meet the Denton family. - No.
- All right. Here, why don't
you eat some of it and then determine whether
or not you like it. DEBORAH TILLMAN (VOICEOVER):
There's a checked out dad. Is that all you want? DEBORAH TILLMAN
(VOICEOVER): A defeated mom. A snack maybe? And some water. That's why. It's really watery. DEBORAH TILLMAN
(VOICEOVER): Defiant Dillon, who's just turned nine, and
his three unruly sisters. I do not like that. DEBORAH TILLMAN (VOICEOVER):
Ayla, who's four. [crying] Cameron, who's three. You need to take a nap now. What you got? DEBORAH TILLMAN (VOICEOVER):
And baby Mackenna, who's one. [laughs] Target. Dillon, that's not OK. Stop hitting me. DEBORAH TILLMAN (VOICEOVER):
Dillon is beyond out of control, and it's starting
to rub off on his sisters. He has zero respect for his
parents, who are just defeated and have lost their motivation
to keep their household in check. Dillon's behavior
just makes me feel like a failure as a parent. Mom, Mom. I'm not sleeping without the TV. If the TV leaves,
I'm going to leave. I don't want to go. I stay home during the day
with the kids and I'm working part-time at night at
a convenience store. I work 10-hour days, and
I come home to the four kids at night and my
wife goes to work. Hi. Hey. DEBORAH TILLMAN (VOICEOVER):
Their conflicting schedules have led to frustration. You're letting them play this? We're not together
enough to parent together, so it's
almost impossible for us to be on the same page because
the communication is not there. Time out for Cammie. You sit there. Time out for Cammie. That's not going to work. I would say our family has
completely hit rock bottom. At this point, we have
talked about divorce. There is no way that we can
bring ourself back together as a family and be happy-- On our own. On our own. So this is kind of
like the last attempt. And without help, there
won't be the Denton family. [music playing] DEBORAH TILLMAN (VOICEOVER):
This out of control family definitely needs a
kick in the pants. This is going to be a wild one. Hi. Hi. How are you? It was exciting to
see Deb enter the door. Hi, I'm Deborah. How are you? My name is Bruce. I'm not afraid of the truth. Bring it on. Hi, I'm Missy. Hi, Missy. Oh, and who was this
adorable little one? Mackenna. Is this Mackenna? And who are you? What's your name? Cameron. And who is this big boy? Dillon. You are very handsome. Thanks. And who is this? - Ayla.
- Ayla. Very nice to meet you. I'm Miss Deborah. I am just here to observe. Just make it like a normal
day and I'll just hang back. Sounds good. You going to work? - Yup.
- All right. You guys say bye to dad?
- Bye, Dad. Bye. DEBORAH TILLMAN
(VOICEOVER): One thing that really struck me, when
Bruce was headed out to work, nobody seemed to pay attention. Not having parents who
look at each other-- forget the hugs and
kisses and goodbye honey, they don't even
look at each other. All right, go ahead. Can you set the table, please? DEBORAH TILLMAN (VOICEOVER):
From the beginning, I saw that there is no sense
of respect in this household because it doesn't seem
like the parents demand it. All right, what do you
want for lunch, Dillon? So how about you
have a sandwich? Can you make me
a grilled cheese? You'll eat a grilled cheese? If you make it on the stove. No, I'll make it in
the sandwich maker. I'm not hungry. You'll only eat it if
I make it on the stove? Yup, so I'm not hungry. Fine, I'll make
it on the stove. Do you have soup with it? I can do that. Dillon calls the
shots in this house and is left to do
whatever he wants to do. He was glued to that TV from
the moment I walked in the door. Can I sit down?
- Sure. OK. So how long do you do this? Like when you're home,
how many hours or minutes? I don't know,
it's all different. Just a long time? Probably, yeah. What is all of this? My goodness. OK, so now all of these
you play with, or no? This is very inappropriate
so I couldn't play it. This is very
inappropriate, OK. I could not believe it. He's only nine years old and
he's playing violent video games? It makes no sense. When the sisters
aren't around. OK, then you can watch it? It's OK? Yeah. OK. And tell me a little
bit about this one. It's zombies. Zombies, OK. Dillon couldn't afford
these games himself, so clearly one of
his parents did. I'm appalled. When I look at Melissa,
really what I see is somebody who just kind of
goes about her day, figuring it out as she goes along. Doesn't really know
what to do next. That's not for you. What do they do when
they can't get outside to get some exercise? They just hang out in
here, and they might play. He just watches TV. How long is Dillon allowed
to play with the video game? In reality, I just let
him do it while I finish doing whatever I'm doing. We've been fighting over it
for so long that I've just kind of come to the point where
a lot of stuff with him, I've just kind of like given up. I've lost my motivation to
follow through with everything. Melissa, she has lost
all hope with her children, and that's the lowest place
you could ever be as a mother. I've never seen a
mother this defeated. I'm not going to. DEBORAH TILLMAN:
If Mom's struggling and she's down and depressed,
chances are the kids will be, too, and that's really sad. [music continuing] What's in here? The basement. Can you show me? When I spoke to mom she said
that the children really do not like playing in their
playroom, so I went for a look. And no wonder they
don't like it. Show me where you play at. I thought I was going
to look at a playroom, but I walked into
a house of horror. Are these all dirty
clothes, Ayla? They have to go be washed? What do they have on it? Fleas? There's fleas on there? AYLA: Yeah. DEBORAH TILLMAN: The basement
actually symbolizes what this whole family looks like. It's unorganized. There is no respect
for anything. Do you go over there, Ayla? If you had shoes on you can go. The dog pees and
poops over there? Uh-huh. He doesn't go outside? Sometimes she does. And so that's
what I was smelling. It's nasty. It's filthy. It's not a good fit for the dog. Oh my gosh. [sigh] Absolutely ridiculous. How can they possibly
play in here? This is a madhouse. Disgusting. Kim's not going to
have her party before me. Back upstairs, I was excited
to see Melissa involved in planning Dillon's birthday. But she didn't stay
for long because she gets so easily distracted. MELISSA: On my bed? AYLA: Yeah. Mom, where are you? MELISSA: Right here, hold on. DEBORAH TILLMAN:
There is no wonder that Dillon gets frustrated. Dillon is kind of
just pushed aside. I want you to come here. OK, let me help Cameron. DEBORAH TILLMAN: The baby,
Mackenna, is very clingy. Melissa enhances the
clinginess by picking her up. The front with
some kind of color. Really, lady? Are you paying attention
to your children? No, you're not. You're not. Dillon, where did you go? Right here. The children are just
going about their day raising themselves. Does anybody help
you with laundry? No. No? No. So you and dad,
how's your relationship doing, because this is a lot. Yeah, we don't have one. You don't have a relationship? No. No, honestly, because we have
opposite schedules, and then I just feel like
when we are together, we don't even feel like
talking and we just want to go to sleep. This was the 10th time mom
was just saying, I give up. I don't know what else to do. Now I'm very interested in
seeing what kind of parenting skills dad has, because if
they're anything like mom's, I have a lot of work to do. [music playing] As soon as dad got home,
mom was headed out the door. Before you go, tell me
what, what do you do? I work in a convenience store. I'm an assistant manager. What was your degree in? Elementary education. [broken tape sound] DEBORAH TILLMAN: Say what? Elementary education. Yeah, I have a masters. You have a masters? Mm-mm. I almost dropped to the floor. I could not believe
that this is a woman who has not one, but two
degrees and she is not implementing any of the
education in her own life. And what is for
dinner tonight? Tacos. Do we have hard
shells or soft? Both.
Bye, guys. For what? Tacos. OK. (SINGING) A happy
voice to sing a song. The household is lacking
a whole lot of love. BRUCE: Is that all right? Now normally, the dishes are
stacked up a whole lot higher. Yeah, so it's just me picking
up, picking up the food. The trash is usually overfilled,
so I gotta take the trash out. We don't know what we're
having for dinner, you know? She's setting me up
for failure here. That's what you feel like? Yeah. What I've noticed
in this household is that there's a
whole lot of blame. Mom blames dad, dad blames mom,
and no one is held accountable for anything. You were nice to
your sisters today. It happens sometimes. Sometimes I hear you
spit and you hurt them. Tell me why. Because they annoy
me way too much. They annoy you way too much? I haven't seen a whole lot of
violent behavior from Dillon. In fact, I haven't seen any. But I know that he's
capable of doing it. Whoa. So you go like that and
then you karate chop? There is a direct correlation
between Dillon watching those violent video games
to hurting his sisters and being able to
inflict pain on them. If you have a child that is
watching television four to six hours a day, he's going
to want to act it out. Then when it comes to
bedtime, I find out that there's no
settling down time. Dillon actually falls
asleep with the TV that he has in his room. Dillon goes to sleep
with the TV on? BRUCE: Yeah. Good night. The whole evening
routine is just crazy. No wonder dad is pooped
and about to drop, and it's only 8:00 PM. [cat meowing] What does the cat want? [laughs] I don't even know. I know. You must be exhausted. I am.
I am. DEBORAH TILLMAN: My goodness. I think I do the
best I can, you know, and I think I keep everybody
happy, for the most part. Well, I try to, you know. Do you want to
stay married, though? Yeah, absolutely. Yeah. Do you think she
wants the same thing? I don't know what she wants. Yeah. So then what are you
doing to keep the family? I would say, at
this point, nothing. The Dentons have really
gotten themselves into an awful situation. The children are depressed. They walk around like zombies. The parents have given up,
and dad is totally defeated. These people are
basically just surviving. They're just going day
to day with no joy, no positivity, no love,
and that's really sad. I saw a lot today. OK. Yeah, a lot. Thank you very much. Don't thank me yet. Don't thank me yet. Ayla and Cameron are
going to be fine. Dillon and Mackenna,
they need some work. But none of this
will matter unless I can put a fire
underneath these parents and get them to care again. This whole family, the whole
spirit, has to be uplifted, and that's going
to be a hard job. [music playing] Hi.
- Hi. Hi. I am anxious about having
the meeting with Deborah, just to have
everything out there and hear what she's
going to have to say. I am really glad that you
asked for help because you really need it. All right, first things first. I think this house
is very unsafe. The playroom, have
you been down there? That was completely
cleared out two months ago, and then boom. Boom what? I don't know what happened. The girls threw stuff
everywhere, I guess. All the excuses, I
don't want to hear them. Why is the dog
pooping everywhere? What is the problem
with you two? This is a matter of
health and safety. Yeah. You're right. Yeah. I want to talk about Dillon. He is extremely smart. He's good in school. The reason why he's not so
great at home, you tell me. At school, there's
rules and structure. You got it. It's not here. You got it. Really, all the children did,
honestly, was watch TV and play video games. I know that, yeah. He showed me video games that
were violent and inappropriate. Maybe I didn't understand
the repercussions of it all. Till after. A TV in his room? That's how he falls
asleep, with the TV on. All right, let's talk
about your little one. Mackenna was on mommy's
leg the whole day. You could not do anything. She was clinging. It takes away from
the other children. It does. And Dillon is
pushed aside a lot. - I think I have a lot of guilt.
- Uh-huh. Just that I know he gets
pushed aside because I'm focusing on the younger ones. You need to put the baby down. And if she cries, she cries. OK. Mom, you just walk
around like a zombie, almost like these kids
are not your kids. I just feel defeated and I
don't even want to try anymore. It's your responsibility as
a parent to take care of them. I was really wanting
to shake you yesterday. I was like, wake up. It's worth the investment. Dad, why are you the way you
are, because you can step up to the plate as a father. I let them take charge. Because it's easy. Why are you
making that choice? To avoid
confrontation, because I don't want to deal with it. You don't want
to deal with it? So then what kind of kids do
you think you're going to have? Kids that, I guess,
be extremely affected in the long run. Are you willing
to take that chance? No. Yeah, but you're
acting like it. I choose to sit back, and
you know, it's not right. Mom, do you want to
be married to Bruce? I'm definitely at the
end, I can say that. I guess I've stopped
trying in a of things, and my marriage is
probably one of them. You keep going this way,
you're going to regret it. Anything you guys have to say? I'm ready to do it, as
long as I have someone that's going to back me up. What the heck is that? I don't care if he
doesn't help you. You've got to get some backbone. These are both of your kids. If he helps me,
then I'll do-- no. It's not about him. It's about your kids. It's not even about you. It's about your children. We can go over to
maybe the swing area. To begin helping
the Denton family, the very first thing I need to
do is to address mom and dad. They are a couple
that's defeated, and it's trickled down
to their children. So before I can work with
the family as a whole, I've got to get these
parents talking. I need you two to be honest
with one another, without blame, without judgment. It's going to be a
little difficult, but I really need
you two to try it. Now, look at him in his eyes
and tell him how you feel. I guess just feeling like
you haven't been supporting me, like with the kids, and
just feeling like you're not on my side or you're not
listening to what I said. It felt a little
threatening at first, but you know, she needs
to get these things out. You know, you brush
me off like, yeah, yeah, I'm going to do that. And then nothing. Just having the open
conversation with Bruce and to just be able to say
something, even if something small, that's what we need. You're right, and I
have brushed you off and I have pushed you aside
and I haven't worked with you. I just want to feel
like we're a team. Well, I'm completely
committed to a change. Do you have anything
you want to say to me? You know, maybe it was all
me, you know, shutting you out, and that's why I didn't
get any respect from you or feel like, you know, an
importance in this family. Finally, I get to just
say whatever I want, and my wife just sat
there and listened to me and accepted what I said. It was good. It was a relief. I'm going to work
the best I can. I see it now and I definitely
know the disrespect, just not treating you like you
are anybody of importance. I'm guilty. BRUCE: Yeah. I did that. I was just glad to have Bruce,
you know, getting something out and being emotional and having
a meaningful conversation about our relationship. I'm sorry, too. I'm going to try hard.
I said I'm going to try hard. [interposing voices] All right. I think the hardest part for
us is to be leaving it there instead of taking it with
you to the next conversation, just not holding things against
each other moving forward. Ready to go in
and make some lunch? Yes. - Yes.
- All right. That was a good first step,
but they still have a long way to go. I hope they can do it. [music playing] OK. Where is everybody? DEBORAH TILLMAN (VOICEOVER):
Next up was setting some parent rules that would keep
mom and dad in check. What do we want to get
accomplished, first of all? The obvious things, like the
communication, making time. Fantastic. BRUCE: OK. Make time to
communicate each day. Following through with
one another's decisions. Supporting each other. There you go. And following through. They're writing
the rules, then they can call each other out on
being accountable to the rules. Are we committed to doing this?
- Yes. I am. The most important part was
having us communicate and be on the same page and be a team. It was good to finally
get that out there. DEBORAH TILLMAN (VOICEOVER): Now
that mom and dad are talking, it's time to get them
to start parenting. Dillon actually falls
asleep with the TV that he has in his room, and
it is allowing mom and dad to not do their job and parent. I strongly disagree with Dillon
having a TV in his bedroom. And all of the violent video
games, they're out the door as well. We're taking away
Dillon's TV, OK? Also, we're taking the
inappropriate video games out of here, and he's
going to help you. They didn't want to do it, and I
knew they didn't want to do it. Right, let's do it. But they had to do it. Mom and dad have been talking,
and we came to an agreement, and we want to remove
the TV from your bedroom. It was a bad move
on my part, and I'm very sorry that I've done this,
and I shouldn't have done it to you. But I think it's the best
for you if I take it out. And all the inappropriate
video games that you have, we have to pack all those up. Even though he
was visually upset, he didn't get out of control
because he understood why his father was
doing what he was doing. Question about
the video games. Can you put them up in a case
and save them till I'm older? No. No, dad, no. MELISSA: No, dad. DEBORAH TILLMAN: Dad, no. Say no. So no, Dillon. We're not going
to save them, buddy. I hope he understands. It was extremely tough for me. I felt so bad for him. All right, come here, buddy. Part of being a parent is
acting in your child's best interest, no matter what. The games don't
belong in the house. There's no negotiating,
no wavering. You act like a parent,
you're in charge. Do we have to get rid of-- If it's rated
MA, it has to go. Give that to daddy. Want me to make this quick and
pull them all out and just skip through them? To have Bruce be on
the same page with me about the video games and
actually be doing something about it was huge. OK, want to go get the TV? No, not "do you want
to go," "let's go." Let's go. Dad actually followed through. This was a teachable moment
for dad and he did it, and I was proud of him. People make mistakes, and it
wasn't a very good parenting decision. And I know you're upset,
but it's for the best. It is. It really is. Deborah helped me with
the courage to face my son and just do it, and I think
he's going to respect me more in the future. DEBORAH TILLMAN (VOICEOVER):
Dad's fixed his mess, and Dillon's finally
gotten himself together. Now it's time to see
what the girls are up to. But just as I noticed
earlier, again, it was Mackenna with the clinging. [inaudible] Say, no, no. Say, I'm reading to
Cameron right now. Just keep reading. The parent has to make sure
that she's not giving all of the attention to the baby,
because that's constantly letting the child know that
you can't do this by yourself. She's looking for
you to come to her. Don't you dare. Say, you're fine. You're fine. You're OK. Get up there, baby. To have Deborah tell me to
walk away from Mackenna, tell her it was OK,
it was kind of hard. She's my baby. She's my last one. DEBORAH TILLMAN: Mom,
move her off your legs. - Stop.
- Not stop. Say, you're OK,
and then walk away. I had to be hard on Melissa
because I needed her to realize if you aren't showing
any sort of action that you're going in the
direction of changing, then it's all for nothing. All right, love you, girls. Night night. That's fine that
she's screaming. Walking away from Mackenna
being that upset and crying, it was tough to do, but I
mean, it needed to be done. I'm going to hold your hands
because I know that was hard. Uh-huh. I know, but you have to do it. Good job, daddy. Look what time it is. Yeah, I know.
That can't be. DEBORAH TILLMAN: It is. I don't even feel tired. I'm so proud of mom and dad. This was great. Dillon's sleeping in his bed
with no TV, the lights off. That's amazing. It's something I
didn't think would happen until he was 33 maybe. We have a project. We're going to clean-- All right. --the playroom. I just need you to
gather up all those toys and put them in these bags. The playroom is disgusting. It's just nasty. Tomorrow when I
come, we're going to work on sorting and
organizing the playroom. These are for you, sir. Thank you very much. OK, you are very welcome. The follow-through I'm
really nervous about. The parents say they're on
board, but I'm not convinced. And I will see you later. All right, have a good one.
- Thank you. You're welcome. The proof is in the
pudding, and I'm going to need to see it
in order to believe it. Bye bye. Good night. When I arrived the
next morning, I couldn't wait to see if mom
and dad had done the homework that I had given them the
night before, to clean up all the toys off
the playroom floor. When I visited during
my observations, this was the nastiest,
untidy, unclean playroom that I had ever seen
in my entire life. Wow. Oh my goodness. That's a good job, mom and dad.
Thank you. Nice. DEBORAH TILLMAN: Wow. Do you like it? Yeah. Mom and dad had really
done well by bagging up all the toys, but now
let's get organized. Look what I have. I gave everyone their own
bin with their names on it, and then we had a bin for
sharing toys and a bin for donating toys. Who's is this? - I would donate that.
- Donate. Donate?
- Yeah. Donate? In agreement? Yeah. I really wanted to make the
organizing of the playroom a fun activity. Drop it in the share box. Yay. BRUCE: Good job, Cammie. When you make things fun for
children, they get excited. They just want to
do it, and it's not like you have to pull
teeth to make it happen. Who's is this? - Donate.
- Donate. Sound good? Throw it in the box. The children just loved
every second of the cleanup. Put it right there, Mackenna. Put it in that box. Good girl. Yay. They wanted it
clean down there. It was not a playroom. It was storage. Now they can play. All right. Good job, Ayla. Those bags that have we have-- Back upstairs, I
immediately noticed Mackenna with the clinging. Last night, I showed mom
my clingy baby technique. You firmly and
lovingly encourage the baby's independence. Tell her she's OK and continue
on with what you were doing, because mom has to focus
on the other children. Keep it moving.
I don't want her touching you. Oh, OK. DEBORAH TILLMAN
(VOICEOVER): And the baby needs to learn that she
can do things on her own. Look at her. You're fine. One time, that's it. DEBORAH TILLMAN (VOICEOVER):
But clearly, Mackenna is not the problem. Mom's just not getting it. Melissa heard me and
she kept saying, OK, but she kept touching the baby. She kept picking her up. You're not picking--
no, don't even touch her. No. She wasn't getting it. So I actually asked her to
come outside of the house so that I can speak to her
about how she was stalling the process. [music playing] I am really, really getting
frustrated with you. OK. Because it looks like I want
the clinginess stuff to stop more than you want it. When I say don't touch,
I mean don't touch. I mean don't go like this. She's like at your legs
here and you got her head. Do you want your daughter
to stop the clinginess or don't you? That's all I want to know. I do. It's just hard because
it's like a habit I'm just so ingrained to
every day doing it. Look, you have a degree
in education, right? Mm-hmm. And you know
what they teach us. Mm-hmm. I just feel like
I'm ignoring her. And so what? Like all day? No, it's not all day. Obviously, mom
needs to make sure that Mackenna's
basic needs are met. But can she let her
cry for a minute while she deals with
the other children? Sure she can. You want the clinginess
to stop, right? What do you have to do to make
her stop hanging on your legs? I have to stop doing
what I'm doing first, then it will return
to normal and I can-- yeah. You already know this. - I'm going to do it, all right.
- Please. - Yes.
- Let me see it. All right. I needed her to realize that
it's not about lip service. It's not about you
saying what you want. If you don't put in
the work to do it, then it's all for nothing. This is not about me. It's not even about her. It's about her daughter
being independent, and in order for a
daughter to be independent, she needs to step up as
a mother and do something to make that happen. Mom and dad, can I have
a moment with Dillon? Mm-hmm. I wanted to give
Dillon a way to become more aware of his behavior
and how it affects his family, and also open up the lines of
communication between Dillon and his dad. I bought a book for you. This is Dillon--
what's that word? Reflecting. Reflection. Reflection book. The self-reflection technique
has a few steps in it. You have to write down what you
did that day that was fantastic that you loved about yourself. So say, for example, today,
what would you write down? Soccer. Soccer. And why do you like
soccer so much? It's fun with your feet. And then you have to take
a moment to write down things that you wish you
could have done better and how you could
have done them better. Now for today, what would
some of those things be? Listen. That you could have
listened better, and be-- Kind. That you would have
been kinder to who? Mom. What Dillon said he would
have liked to work on better was that he wished he had
spoken to his mother in a better manner. And that was big for him. That was huge, the fact that he
was able to actually admit that to himself. You're going to read to
dad exactly what you wrote, because there's no
secrets in this book, OK? Mm-hmm. And then guess what
dad's going to do? What? You know that big
chalkboard in your room? Mm-hmm. Daddy's going to write a
word on the board, something that he loves about you. - Mm-hmm.
- OK? Yup. All right. The reflection
technique opens you up to be able to admit to yourself
your rights and wrongs, and then be able to share
that with someone you trust in your family. What you got, bud? The Reflection Book. What is it? You write the stuff you
liked about today and the stuff you can do better. You'll have to write on
the chalkboard upstairs and write a nice word, only one. One word on the chalkboard. About-- tell him what it is. Me. About you? Aw. BRUCE: OK, I can do that. I got a little touched because
it was just so wonderful to see them be able to communicate
and for his father to get it. The light bulb went on. Now, when he reads
you those reflections, it's going to be from his heart. It's going to be about honesty. It's going to be about love. And you need to look
at it and find a word that you want him to be
or that he already is, OK? Yes. DEBORAH TILLMAN: When
you think of the word, think about your baby
and where you want him to be 10 years from now. Sensitive. Why did you say it? A lot of the
times you act tough, but I know, deep down inside,
that you're sensitive, and that's one of the
things I love about you. For me to finally sit down
with Dillon side by side and say something good about
him, and him to accept it, it was beyond words. I want to know when you're
feeling sad or you're angry, and it would make
me feel good if you can share that with me, OK? It's just so rewarding to
see your family come together and to communicate like that,
because you know that that's just the starting point for
great things in the future. [music playing] I am leaving you for a
time to see how you're going to do on your own. I am really nervous about
leaving Melissa and Bruce. I'm really afraid that
they're going to revert back to that negativity and putting
each other down and blaming each other again. And that really cannot happen
because a house divided cannot stand. had given up on their marriage,y their children, and their home. And I must admit, I'm anxious
to see how they've done. Morning, how are you? Good morning. I was a little nervous because
I knew that there were things that maybe I still
need to work on. How did we do? All right. Better. OK. Let's see. Mom, this meat is
drier than you think. You know, Dillon, you can say
thank you because I cooked you dinner and not
complain about it. That was a little disrespectful,
complaining about my cooking. Consider that a warning
because I think you're being disrespectful
to me right now. OK, so when Dillon
said something to you first about your cooking or
whatever, not about you, right? - Right.
- So what? You're not even
dealing with that. Either you're going
to eat it or you're going to be hungry, right?
- Right. OK, one or the other. Let's go on. Go for it. Tell me what you liked. I liked playing
soccer and the hike. I should have listened better
and followed directions. All right, good job. Now it's my turn for a word. Talented. And you know why I say that? I think you have a
good singing voice and, you know, I've
seen you play sports, and I see how quick you
catch on to most sports. Thanks. You're welcome. All right, now you need
to go to bed, buddy. OK, the fact that he wrote
that he could have done better with mom is huge. Right. That's huge. And I liked your word. Your word was good, talented. And I like the fact that
you explained it very well. Oh, he loves the word. DEBORAH TILLMAN: Yeah. He loves when we do that. Last night he was like,
OK, it's your turn. Put the word down. BRUCE: OK, it's my turn. Makes him feel
good about himself. That's great. Let's move on. [baby crying] Mama just needs
to get a drink. OK, you're OK. I know you just woke up, huh? Let's go get your shoes. Want to go get your
shoes and go play? Mom will get them. Good job. One more, come on. Come on. Ayla, don't do that. No. Let her go on her
own, she's a big girl. Come on. All right, she'll lead the way. Go ahead. Oh my. Oh my. I am so proud of you. Thank you. I mean, just from the
kitchen, how you told her, you're OK and walked away. Yeah. And then as she was
going down the steps, how you held her hand and let her
walk by herself, one more. I think before,
too, it's almost like she's her own
little person now, where before it
was just like she was an extension of my body. Yes. I just wasn't thinking of
her as her own little girl, so. Yes, your little
girl growing up. Yeah. Fantastic, mom. Good job. Thank you. So later on that day. So the dishes need
to be turned on. OK. And what about dinner?
What happened? And I left you out--
I made dinner for everybody. I just left you-- these
were still kind of frozen, so I left you so they
wouldn't be like-- Dillon said something to you. He came in all sarcastic
and was like, mm, this is dry. He was like making
faces while he ate it. So I asked him to stop because
I felt like he was kind of being rude, how he kept
talking about it, and I said it was disrespectful. Since I used all
of the hamburger, I didn't want to have like
a crusty, shriveled burger for you. I figured you can-- Yeah, I know how. Thank you. Crusty, shriveled
burgers are not fun. I'll make my own, thanks. Yeah, I figured that. Aw. That is big. And I know it might not
look like much right there, but for us-- You saw me clap. That is big. You felt good. I love the communication. That was huge. Do you think you're
communicating better? I mean-- I think we're trying. I wouldn't say it's like perfect
or anything like that, you know. I just think we're
trying at least. I think, yes, we are
communicating better. OK. So with no communication, when
I first observed the family, you see where we were,
a the house surviving. But now that you're
communicating better, it's becoming a home. And so I just want you
to remember that you got to continue to do the work. Yeah. Just like you said, it's work. It's work. It's hard Yeah, it's hard. It's a lot of work,
but you can do it. You can do it. Yes, we can. Good job. All right. You are so very welcome. Keep it up. [music playing] All right, I have had a
fantastic time with you this week. Keep those listening
ears on and make sure that your playroom is kept
really, really pretty, all right? Hands in. You promise? Good job, little one. Mom and dad, remember,
it starts with you. Communication is the key. Deborah was really
tough on me this week. She needed to be. I needed that. I needed someone to light a fire
under my butt and get me going. I definitely think we're
a stronger family now. Don't let me down, OK, troops? Deborah had a very
positive impact on my family. Me and my wife's relationship
is completely different than it was a week ago. Come on, you two. Get in. Yay, we did it. Thank you, Miss Deborah. Bye bye. Of course the Dentons aren't
100% out of the woods yet. But if they continue, as a
unit, to look forward and not revert back to their
old ways, then they are on to success for
their entire family. [music playing]
