(VOICEOVER): Tonig ht, on "America's Supernanny"--
[knocking] [yelling] Stop, OK? No! DEBORAH TILLMAN (VOICEOVER): --I
tackle the most extreme family I have ever worked with. NICOLE CARZELL: Damir! DEBORAH TILLMAN
(VOICEOVER): They have a houseful of 10 kids and a
heartbreaking bullying problem. Shut up and eat the dirt. [sobbing] Stop. DEBORAH TILLMAN (VOICEOVER):
Mom and dad are completely overwhelmed and
resort to threats-- Stop playing with me.
I'm not finished, OK? DEBORAH TILLMAN
(VOICEOVER): --and violence to control their kids. Put your hands up. Higher. DEBORAH TILLMAN (VOICEOVER): And
they forced 14-year-old Desmond to be the third parent. Why are you putting that
kind of weight on him? Desmond. DEBORAH TILLMAN
(VOICEOVER): But now I'm here bringing bold, new ideas-- Discipline does
not mean spanking. DEBORAH TILLMAN (VOICEOVER):
--unexpected solutions-- DEBORAH TILLMAN: Good job. DEBORAH TILLMAN (VOICEOVER):
--and a no-nonsense attitude-- That was fake
what you just did. DEBORAH TILLMAN (VOICEOVER):
--to bring this family back from the brink of disaster. Your way has not worked. DEBORAH TILLMAN (VOICEOVER):
My name is Deborah Tillman. I'm a wife, a mother,
and my child care centers are amongst the
best in the country. I've dealt with
every kind of kid-- What in the world was that? DEBORAH TILLMAN (VOICEOVER):
--and every kind of family. They don't have the problem.
You have the problem. The dog pees and
poops over there? [screaming] This is a madhouse. DEBORAH TILLMAN (VOICEOVER):
Some people call me a miracle worker-- I'm so glad you're here. DEBORAH TILLMAN
(VOICEOVER): --but you can call me
America's Supernanny. I'm in Charlotte, North
Carolina to meet one big family, the Carzells-- You are dysfunctional. DEBORAH TILLMAN (VOICEOVER):
--10 kids and two more in the oven. Give it back to him. DEBORAH TILLMAN
(VOICEOVER): Mom, Nicole, is frustrated and
resorts to yelling. Go to bed.
That's what I'm telling you. DEBORAH TILLMAN
(VOICEOVER): Sam, the dad, is overwhelmed and lashing out. Stop playing around. DEBORAH TILLMAN (VOICEOVER):
Desmond, the oldest, is 14. Look at you. DEBORAH TILLMAN (VOICEOVER):
Younger brother, Deshon, is 12. You're serious, right? DEBORAH TILLMAN (VOICEOVER):
Then there's Desja, 11. [yells] DEBORAH TILLMAN
(VOICEOVER): Damir is 10-- Get out of my face. DEBORAH TILLMAN (VOICEOVER):
--and nine-year-old Nevada. Then we have the younger kids-- Septimber, twins Brook-Lynn
and Bailey, and Ashton. [crying] DEBORAH TILLMAN (VOICEOVER):
Morgan, the baby, is one. Go to sleep. DEBORAH TILLMAN (VOICEOVER):
And Winter and Weston are due any day. Stop talking about Septimber. I'm a stay-at-home mom. Get your stuff and
go in your room. Go read a book. And I'm a dock supervisor,
presently laid off. Ashton, get up there. We downsized from
our last house. And the kids are
sharing rooms, which is driving everybody crazy. Stop playing. Get off my bed. NICOLE CARZELL: Damir! DEBORAH TILLMAN (VOICEOVER):
The Carzell kids run wild. - Is it funny?
- No. Is it funny? Go to bed now. DEBORAH TILLMAN (VOICEOVER):
And the parents humiliate them-- Put your hands up-- higher. DEBORAH TILLMAN (VOICEOVER):
--and even hit them. Stop playing with me.
I'm not playing with you, OK? I'm not playing about
this all the time. I know you're not
laughing anymore. We want them to
get a clear message to change their behavior. Go ahead.
Don't talk back. Just go. Man, now I'm getting restless. [yells] Stop.
Don't. DEBORAH TILLMAN (VOICEOVER):
The parents hit the kids-- [inaudible] DEBORAH TILLMAN
(VOICEOVER): --so the kids have learned to hit each other. Stop. Stop! No! Come on. Come on. Stop. Stop! DEBORAH TILLMAN (VOICEOVER):
Nine-year-old Nevada gets the worst of it. Out of here. [crying] [inaudible] Nevada's had to be a fighter,
because the rest of the kids see their weakness in Nevada. So that makes her a easy target. [crying] Ah, you can't [inaudible]. [sobbing] Get off of her. [yelling] [inaudible] [inaudible] [inaudible]. We are definitely struggling. [yelling] Close your eyes. Stop! And I'm going to keep it real. This Carzell family needs help. And we need help now. [laughs] NICOLE CARZELL: Leave her alone. DEBORAH TILLMAN
(VOICEOVER): No mistake-- this is the biggest, toughest
family I have ever worked with. These parents choose
to have 10 kids. And they've got no excuse for
how they're treating them. I'll be putting a stop to that. [knocking] - Hi.
- Hi, there. How are you?
Thank you. Pleasure meeting you. Come in. - I'm Miss Deborah.
- I'm Sam. - Sam.
- Pleasure meeting you. Nice to meet you, as well. Come meet my family. OK. Hi. Hi. I'm Nicole. Oh, Nicole. [laughs] Yes. How many months are you? Eight months. And who are all
these little ones? NICOLE CARZELL: This is Morgan. And this is Nevada. That's Ashton. This is Brooke. This is Desja, Septimber,
Bailey, Damir, Desmond. And this is Deshon. Just go about your business,
and do exactly what you do. And I'll be watching.
- OK. Good. Good. No sooner than I made
my introductions-- oh, my goodness-- I go into
the bedroom to see children fighting and sort
of just going crazy. Wow. [laughing] Kids do roughhouse. But what I am concerned about is
the fact that these kids punch, and they hit. And it's not soft punches. It's-- I mean, hard. DEBORAH TILLMAN (VOICEOVER):
This was getting really out of control. And I was having a hard time
not stepping in and stopping that violence. Desja. Come on, babies. NICOLE CARZELL: Desja. Luckily, mom came in soon. What?
Hey. Hey. [inaudible] Nevada. Yeah. It's not that necessary. But it was clear she had
no idea what she was doing. Stop. Boys wrestle, girls don't. - [laughs]
- Septimber. CHILD: [laughs] CHILD: [inaudible] No. DEBORAH TILLMAN: Mom's attempt
at discipline was ridiculous. And dad's was a disaster. - [inaudible] playing with you?
- Nuh-uh. Huh? That look like I'm
playing with you? He just sort of were
grabbing at the girls. OK, stop. DEBORAH TILLMAN: That's
what really disturbed me. He was grabbing their arm. Stop, you. It was just a lot
of crazy commands. Nevada, stop. Stop, OK? Stop. Pick that up, OK? You see something,
pick it up, OK? It's just crazy. It's outrageous. I don't know how the kids
could just survive in there. Desmond, what are you doing? Me? I was going in the kitchen.
- For what? That's what I'm asking you. I was getting some water. Why are you sneaking around? I wasn't. I just walked past you. And you just said,
Desmond, come here. Are you getting
an attitude with me? No. Better watch your tone, boy. Stay out of the kitchen. DEBORAH TILLMAN: I
couldn't believe my ears. It was like Dad wanted to
pick a fight with Desmond. Even totally normal
behavior set him off. What a household. Mm, mm, mm. So you hear that a lot-- just telling you, screaming,
talking to you like that. Mm-hmm. DEBORAH TILLMAN: All the time? A lot of times, we don't
feel that he loves us. You don't feel
like he loves you? No. A lot of times, we don't. Why is that? Because he just screams? Yeah, he just screams at us. I don't like that
when he screams at me. It makes me feel like
I'm stupid and all that. Hmm. It makes me feel sad,
and so I talk back to him. You talk back to him to
get a reaction from him. So what do you guys do all day?
What do you do? DESJA CARZELL:
Yeah, we do fights. And we talk about each
other, because we know, ooh, that girl got something
going on with her skin. She is dark. DAMIR CARZELL: Dark. [laughs] She's [inaudible]. DESJA CARZELL: All right.
[laughs] Go away. Nevada, get out of my room. [interposing voices] Damir, stop talking about her. Nevada, just get out. It really hurts when
my brother and sister call me names. You're the darkest
person, so get out. DAMIR CARZELL: No.
- [inaudible] DESJA CARZELL: You
can't even see. They tortured Nevada. The way these kids talk to each
other is absolutely disgusting. And I'm wondering, where
did they get that from? Why do they feel that way? I've been here for a short
time, but I've heard a lot of-- Color. --skin color. Nevada, you're dark, you're-- as if that's a bad thing. Where did that come from? I have no idea
where that came from. I think it may have
come from school. Gotcha. Nevada, she's being
defiant in school. One of her teachers
said, Miss Carzell, I've known Nevada since kindergarten,
and I've never seen her act like this before. And it scared me, but it's true. I don't know where
Nevada's going. [music playing] I'm very afraid that, unless
these parents change how they act toward Nevada, that she's
going to be a lost little girl. I never thought it was
going to be like this. I really did. How did you grow up? I grew up in the home with
my grandmother, primarily. My mom was in and out. And my grandma was a
strict disciplinarian. And what? What, did she spank? Oh, yeah.
[laughs] DEBORAH TILLMAN: Grandma?
- Yeah, Grandma spanked. DEBORAH TILLMAN: Yeah. Yeah. DEBORAH TILLMAN: I am appalled
at the way Nevada is treated in this house. And the parents-- they
know what's going on, but they don't do
anything about it. How dare they. Stop playing, Nevada, OK? Stop. Stop drinking all her stuff. What are you doing? I didn't drink it all. Desmond is Sam and
Nicole's eldest son. He's 14 years old, but he
acts like a 20-year-old. Desmond was so responsible
when I observed him. He was engaged in cooking
for the youngest children. He was carrying on
duties that I thought a parent should be doing. So Desmond, you're
responsible for lunches-- Mm-hmm. --every day for your brothers
and sisters, the young ones. Mm-hmm. I will. Pick that up and stop
because you're holding her. Get off. Too much responsibility. Go get the knife. What grade are you in school? DESMOND CARZELL: Ninth. High school, first
year of high school. He is a teenager, and he should
be enjoying his teenage years. But he's missed out. You can't get 14 back. You don't get 15 back. Sam and Nicole are
being irresponsible as parents to put so much
pressure on a 14-year-old. NICOLE CARZELL: Mama's coming. Don't rush. You freaking idiot. What? [yelling] [inaudible] Then the kids went
outside to, I guess, play. But it looked more to me
like they were fighting. [shrieks] Stop. [sobbing] She doesn't like you. Stop fighting. Come on. Stop.
- Get off. CHILD: I'm telling Mom. Stop.
CHILD: Stop. DESMOND CARZELL: You
stop hitting them. [shrieks] CHILD: Desmond! A chain-- really? Come here. You, come here. Dad comes out. And of course, not knowing
what the heck is going on, instead of asking what's going
on, he just starts screaming. I'm not going to keep telling
you do the same thing over and over again, OK? Stop. DEBORAH TILLMAN:
The way dad grabbed Deshon was overly aggressive. And the boy was crying,
so I know it had to hurt. Stop. Dad, stop. And if you don't like
it, that's your problem. Deal with it. Go. This is not a father. His behavior is atrocious. The level of violence
in this house could lead to huge
problems down the line. If things don't
change right now, I really fear for the
future of these kids. It seems like the children
are just totally out of control. Sometime, I do believe
they have to be-- I believe hit.
- What do you hit them with? Your hand, or-- I hit them with my hands. Sometimes, I hit them with a
belt, to be honest with you. Mom-- if she gets really
upset, she'll take a shoe, and she'll throw it
at them or something. I didn't have a
father growing up. He left when I was
three years old. I remember, when I was three,
I was bringing the milk carton upstairs. And I dropped it,
and he beat me. [gasps] And I mean, he beat me. DEBORAH TILLMAN: With a belt.
- Yeah, it was with a-- And you remember that?
SAM CARZELL: I remember that. I remember.
DEBORAH TILLMAN: Wow, traumatic. And I never saw
him since then. So with your kids, did you
think, OK, when I grow up and have kids-- Of course I felt
that I was going to tackle it with no problem. But I deal with 10 persons, 10
personalities, and totally 10 different problems. And I had no idea that it would
be difficult. It's difficult. I mean, it's a challenge. And two more on the way-- that's even more excruciating. DEBORAH TILLMAN: Sam told
himself that he wouldn't beat his kids like he got beat. But here he is, doing
it anyway, repeating the cycle of violence. It is so sad. And it needs to stop right now. Hey, I'll show you something. DEBORAH TILLMAN: Now why
did you just do that? Why'd you just hit him? So you just-- DEBORAH TILLMAN (VOICEOVER):
11-year-old Desja seems to do more than
her share of trash talking and starting fights. And I wanted to get
to the bottom of that. Why do you fight so much here? Cause they always hit
me and talk about me. You talk back to them, too. And you call them names, too.
- Yes. DEBORAH TILLMAN: What do you
say to your sister Nevada? - She's dark.
- Yeah, what's up with that? [laughs] DEBORAH TILLMAN: What
do you mean she's dark? Cause-- [laughs] Your mom? She told you that? Yes, because Nevada was
talking about everybody else. And then-- [laughs] And then, after that,
everybody started teasing her? Yes. Mom lied right in my face. She told me that
Nevada's getting teased came from school. I guess mom starting it
herself just slipped her mind. Do you think that
makes her feel bad? Yes. But you do it anyway. Yes. Why? Because it's funny. [laughs] I see no compassion
in this household. Nobody says anything positive. It was all negative. The one exception
is Desmond, who seems to be the only
person who really cares. I said shut up! NICOLE CARZELL:
Don't scream at her. And don't get out. I've seen quite
enough in this family-- total chaos in here,
total dysfunction. I'm so angry with these
parents at this point. I've seen a lot today. Oh, my goodness. I really need to
tell you something. It's going to be a
rough family meeting. [music playing] How you doing? NICOLE CARZELL: Good. I'm a little on edge about
what Deborah might say, but I'm also eager
to embrace it. Let's talk about discipline. Oh, my gosh--
spanking, number one. Not just spanking, but beating-- you take out a belt
and beat the kids. You can talk to them.
And you can talk to them. You can talk them till
they're blue in the face. But the bottom line is this-- some children don't get it. DEBORAH TILLMAN: So you've done
all of this-- the spankings, the beatings, the this and that. But your way has not worked. Discipline does
not mean spankings. Nobody needs to have that. And it's just being
detrimental to them physically and emotionally. The bullying has got to stop. In this household, the
kids put each other down. They talk about each other. They name call. I can't even think
of how many times I heard them saying crazy stuff. There is no excuse. Yeah, there isn't. There's no excuse
for the kids, because there's
no excuse for you. So until you are accountable,
until you're really responsible parents, this is
what they're going to be until you two change. Nevada-- OK-- at nine, feels
no love in this household, because everybody's
putting her down. I heard more than once, you're
dark, you're this, you're that. And Nevada keeps thinking,
why are they calling me dark? That's a bad thing. You know what your kids told me? That you actually said it. What's up with that? But that was only-- I mean, I'm not-- Oh, my god. I'm not excusing it. I did it one time. Uh, excuse me. Excuse me. Tell me how many times you need
to hear that before you believe it. Thank you-- one time. She has no concept of
black is beautiful. She needs somebody to love her
and doesn't care about the fact that she's dark. Desmond-- he was more of a
parent than you two were. No 14-year-old should have
that much responsibility placed on him, where he
has to watch all 10. Excuse me, y'all can't
even watch 10 kids. He's a boy.
And, uh-- - Excuse you?
- I mean-- Who cares that he's a boy. You the parents. Why are you putting that
kind of weight on him? We're going to talk about
managing your kids-- [sighs] no structure. I mean, for me, I'm
just sick of them. I hear y'all, but I
got to ask the question. You're sick of them-- I'm sick-- yeah. [sighs] Yeah. --two more? You can't be sick of them
when you created them. You can't. They need to really be looking
at you as the parents-- respecting you, loving
you, loving each other. And so we just got
to change the cycle. We gotta break it,
because the kids are going to suffer in the
end, and we don't want that. Not going to happen-- not on my watch. in the Carzell householde be is the worst I have ever seen. And Mom and Dad-- they have no one to blame
for it but themselves. They've set a terrible example
for their kids in the past. Now they need to
set a better one. Now remember, in
our family meeting, we talked about leadership
starting at the top and that, until you change. The behavior with the children
aren't going to change, right? I wanted these parents to
write a commitment contract and sign it so that they could
be held accountable to it. What is one of the
first things that we know we're not going to do? Hit. NICOLE CARZELL: Deborah had us
write out, in our own words, some of the behaviors
that we've been displaying in our parenting
that were incorrect. OK. We will not disrespect them. NICOLE CARZELL: Then
she had us express how we would demonstrate
better parenting skills. Yeah, be positive. You will be positive. Wonderful. NICOLE CARZELL: I'm glad
that she allowed us to put it in our own words, because it's
not really someone telling you what to do. But you actually see
what you need to do. So this is what you
want for your family. SAM CARZELL: Yes. NICOLE CARZELL: Yes. I want you to present
this to your children. They need to know that
their parents have changed or are changing. We know that there's a lot of
things that we haven't been doing right and a lot of things
that haven't been consistent. So we agree that we will not
hit the children or scream. They were definitely,
definitely excited like it was Christmas for the first time. We're going to prepare you to
assume responsibility as well as accountability. And it starts here. It starts at home. [clapping] Yea. DEBORAH TILLMAN: You
happy about that? Who else wants to say something?
- Me. Oh, boy, everybody. Wait, wait, wait,
wait, wait, wait. Desja. DEBORAH TILLMAN: I
think a few of the kids believe their parents. But I think in the back of their
minds, they were like, yeah, let's see how long
this is going to work. This is your parents'
pledge to you. It will be difficult at
times to stick to the contract. But we're going to make
this a high priority, because our family is at stake. DEBORAH TILLMAN: Now the
proof is in the pudding-- got to make it happen in
order for me to believe it. Next it was important for me
to put house rules in place so that the children would know
what to do and what not to do. Use gentle hands. Gentle hands. [gasps] Ooh. Desmond, what does
use gentle hands mean? - Hugs.
- Hugs. You're not going to hit them. DESMOND CARZELL: All right. Or beating with sticks. Be kind and compassionate. What's that mean? If you're trying to help
someone or be kind to them. Mm-hmm. If the family can
follow these rules, both violence and the
bullying will finally stop. SAM CARZELL: The
kids were excited. They were definitely excited. And they can't wait to get
on with following the rules. [music playing] Well, that didn't take long. The so-called calm was broken
when little Brook-Lynn started going in after her
big sister Nevada. So I needed to teach these
parents my discipline technique. So then this is the
calm-down corner. And you have to stand
here for three minutes until you can calm down,
get yourself together. And then, you're in
the calm-down corner because you hit your sister,
is what you need to say. You're in the calm-down
corner for hitting your sister. DEBORAH TILLMAN: The child has
to sit in the calm-down corner for three minutes. But the three minutes does not
start until the child is calm. You're in a calm-down corner
for hitting your sister. DEBORAH TILLMAN:
Children are never bad. But their behavior can be. The calm-down corner teaches
kids to control themselves so that, over time, they'll stop
the behavior before it even starts. You're in a calm-down corner
for hitting your sister. It was frustrating. It was overwhelming. I didn't think it
was going to work. You're in a calm-down corner
for hitting your sister. Good, Dad.
Good. Say it calm. Good job. SAM CARZELL: I wanted
to use another method. But I also knew that I couldn't
revert to the old ways. [screaming] An hour and 20 minutes later,
Brook-Lynn had finally stayed calm for three minutes. Dad stuck with it and
never raised a hand to her. Now, you were in the calm-down
corner because you hit Nevada. What do you need
to say to Nevada? Sorry, Nevada. DEBORAH TILLMAN: Sorry, Nevada. Give your sister a hug. Then I overheard something
going on in the kitchen that didn't sound too good.
[child screams] What's going on? Desja got frustrated
with the technique for the calm-down corner. She can do that all
day and all night. So come get her. What in the world? Things are finally starting
to change around here, and Desja is trying
to undermine it? I couldn't believe it. We said we weren't going
to do that anymore, OK? You know, people
make mistakes, Mom. Desja was giving her
mom a lot of attitude. Take the smirk off your face. In order for you
to help, you have to stop questioning your mommy. Desja was not
getting the message. I saw that I needed to
pull her aside and give her a wake-up call. I know a lot of little
girls that act like you. And you're acting that way
because you want attention. All of this that you're doing-- the laughing, the
smirking, the smiling-- is a sign of having
low self-esteem. I'm here for only a few days. And you have got to show me
something better than what you're showing me. And if you don't, then
I'm going to leave here feeling really bad-- that you can possibly be lost. How are you going to show
me that you can do better? How are you going
to show yourself that you can do better? By following the house
rules and listening. And listening and not giving
Mommy back-talk all the time. You're too smart for this. You got too much in here to
be acting like you're acting. You got to do better, Desja. This family has been
a tough one to crack. But if I can break Dad down and
then build him back up again, that might be the key to
getting the rest of the family back on track. Dad doesn't have a
problem handing off his responsibilities
to 14-year-old Desmond. I have to make sure he truly
understands that parents need to be doing the
parenting around here. And I have the perfect
technique for that-- the carry-the-burden technique. She had me put a backpack on. This backpack symbolizes
your son, Desmond. And she had, to my
surprise, some steel weights. This one is your
baby, Deshon, OK? I'm putting it in
a backpack, OK? I want you to start
walking real slow. You're just going to keep
going back and forth. She was trying to give me a
visual so I could understand it psychologically where
it would get through. And she was just loading
them up one by one. This is Damir, Desja, Nevada. SAM CARZELL: And she
was serious about it. She was very serious about it. Washing those dishes--
go ahead, Desmond. Wash those dishes. Take care of that baby. All right, this
one is Septimber. Watch those kids. Anything happen to
Morgan, Desmond, you in trouble for that. And here comes Ashton. Dad, I'm still trying to
hold up the weight for you, still trying to be the
son you want me to be. Now we got Brook-Lynn. It was so heavy I fell. I literally fell. Still trying to do
all of that, right? That is his life. This is your son's life. No, you got to keep
going, because he doesn't want to disappoint you. Got to keep going. He doesn't want to hurt
you, even though he's not getting any compliments from
you, even though he's getting put down. Here comes Morgan, right dad? We got another baby. He's still trying to
make it happen, right? Yeah. This is your son. The burden is too heavy for him. How do you think
his heart feels? Heavy. DEBORAH TILLMAN:
And he's only 14. I can tell that he was really
feeling, oh, my goodness, what have I done to my son? [music playing] What are you going to do? I'm going to take the
responsibility as a father to him and bear the weight. Yes. For not just Desmond-- for all of them. Yeah. DEBORAH TILLMAN: This was the
first time I felt like, wow, we're on the same page. He understands, and he's going
to do something about it. After talking to Deborah,
I pulled Desmond to the side. And I felt I owed
him an apology. The reason I brought
you in here is because I want to apologize to you. I know how it is now. I can imagine how the pressure
that you were feeling-- having to watch the kids, having
me scream at you, yell at you, like as though they're
your kids and not mine. That's all Daddy's
responsibility. And Daddy is willing, and
Daddy's going to make a change. When I had a
conversation with my dad, it made me feel appreciated. That really hit me. And it hit like he
knew what I was talking about for the first time. And I want to look
you in your eyes to tell you that I'm sorry. And I love you. I love you, too. It really surprised me
that he was able to cry. He doesn't really express his
feelings unless he's yelling. And when he cried
on my shoulders, that really made me feel
happy in that moment. Daddy's sorry for all
the things he did, OK? Yeah. You hear me? Yeah. I love you, Desmond. That's exactly what
I wanted to happen. I'm not going to cry. That's exactly what
I wanted to happen. Yeah. I am concerned about Nevada. The children call
her all these names. She is dark. [laughs] DEBORAH TILLMAN: She was
being bullied by her brothers and sisters. I wanted to take Nevada aside to
write her thoughts down, write her feelings down, so that
then she could read it to her parents. Come closer. [grunts] What are
we going to say? Dear Mom and Dad first, maybe? OK. Or do you want to tell
them about how you feel? And she wrote
exactly how she felt, words that came from her heart. And then we were able to go in
and present it to her parents. She wrote a letter to
you both, as the parents of the household, to
tell you how she feels. Dear Mom and Dad,
I feel bad and sad all my brothers and
sisters treat me unfair. And when they drag me down
the hill, it hurts my legs. No parent feels good when
their child is struggling, especially when they're
feeling picked on. When they call me dark,
it makes me feel sad. I feel disappointment that
we let it go on it for so long and it was really
affecting her self-esteem. If they would stop
calling me names, it will make me feel better. Oh, thank you, Vada. Give me a hug. Give Daddy a hug. We were definitely
touched by it. And we were willing to make
some changes on our end. I know how you feel because,
when I was your age, I got picked on, too. And I promise I'm going to do
everything I can to make sure that your other brothers and
sisters do not just pick on you and say mean things, OK? Give me a hug? You're not going
to give me a hug? We're really going to make
sure they do a lot of listening and following the house rules. So we're going to make sure
that you're not feeling bad. But then you're going to
make sure that you're not making anybody else feel bad. Dad, can you take
Nevada out for a second? SAM CARZELL: Yes.
- I just want to talk to Mom. I felt that Mom was really
being fake, honestly. I felt that the words she
was saying were just words and that she wasn't feeling
what her daughter was actually saying. You got a daughter that
has really low self-esteem. And you got to talk to her real. There is nothing more
important than a bond between a mom and a daughter. And she's got to feel that. That was fake what you just did. You just said whatever you said. But that wasn't
a real mom thing, because I'm a mom, so I know. From a mom to
mom, she didn't feel that it was real heartfelt. She
felt that I could give more. I love you just the way
that you are, Nevada. You don't have to be light,
or white, or any other color. I love you the way that you are. And I want you to love
yourself that way, too. I told Deb it felt weird,
because I hadn't done it like I should have been doing it.
Do you know I love you, Nevada? - Uh-huh.
- Do you? Yes. I do love you, Nevada. I think mom felt, really,
a lot better that she was able to open up and
be real with her daughter. NICOLE CARZELL:
It's very important to have that open relationship
with my daughters. I am going to keep at this. It's all well
and good to listen to how Nevada feels about
being bullied by her siblings. But it's even more
important to make sure that the bullying stops. I have a technique in mind
that I need to put in place. We are going to collect leaves. It was wonderful to see all
the children working together, picking out different
colors of leaves. Pretty ones in here,
all different colors. All right, everybody
have enough? OK, we're all finished. Let's take them back in. OK, so everybody has a leaf. I asked the children to
pick out their favorite leaf and to explain why it
was their favorite. I like this leaf because
it's big and it's green. And it's green--
big and green. I like my leaf
cause it's yellow and it look like a butterfly. It looks like a butterfly. Good job. [laughs] I did the
lesson with the leaves to drive home to the family that
it really wasn't about color. And by creating a
visual for the family, they were able to
understand it better. A family has a lot
of characteristics, just like these leaves, right? These leaves look different. They're different colors. And they're different shapes. How is that representing
your family? When you call
somebody in your family, oh, she's black, oh, she's dark,
as if that's an ugly thing, it's a lack of knowledge. Even though there
were multi-color leaves, and big leaves, and small
leaves, they were still leaves. She bought the application in to
let us know we're all the same. Tell me something beautiful
about somebody sitting in this room. Well, I like about Nevada
is that God made her, like, beautiful, which she is. And so it will be
ignorant for me if I keep calling
her dark and black. Oh. So do you think your
sister's beautiful? Yes, ma'am. DEBORAH TILLMAN: Get
up and go tell her. Nevada, I think
you're beautiful. Thank you. I'm not going to be called names
anymore, and I'm really happy. This is our circle of love. I want for you guys to just
be really loving and caring and bring back the
positivity in the household. This family still has
a long, long way to go. But they've taken a big
step in the right direction. All right, hug each other. Thank you. Show each other some love. Oh, you're hugging me. Miss Deborah is getting ready to
go, which means I'm leaving you for a little while to see
how you do on your own, which means, for all the
children, we need to-- Follow the house rules. Follow the house rules. And Mom and Dad,
stick to the contract. I think we're
going to do great. I got the confidence, Mom and I.
We're confident that we're just going to keep implementing
those principles and not let up. It's going to take
some time for the kids to understand that they're
going to have to learn to do the same exact thing they
were doing Deborah was there with us. I'll see you later, OK?
SAM CARZELL: See you. All right.
DEBORAH TILLMAN: All right. I know these children are
going to test these parents. But I just hope that Nicole and
Sam can stick to my techniques and not revert back to
yelling and slapping them upside the head because,
if they do, they have lost. And they cannot afford
to lose this game. Hello. NICOLE CARZELL: Hi. How are you? NICOLE CARZELL: Good. Good. How are our twins coming? - Coming.
- Coming. NICOLE CARZELL:
Having contractions. Yes. Having contractions
now, as we speak. Yes. DEBORAH TILLMAN:
Oh, my goodness. OK, well, we better
get to it then. NICOLE CARZELL: Yes.
- [inaudible] NICOLE CARZELL: [laughs] She's playing. We're working through
some things, Desja. Well, maybe she needs
to get out of here. Desja, maybe you need to
focus on your own business. That's your warning.
- Yes, ma'am. DESMOND CARZELL: [inaudible].
- I'm talking. Stop. Why did you-- come here. Why did you just do
what you just did now? Because he's-- It doesn't matter. Why did you do what
you just did now? - Because he's grabbing my neck.
- Yeah, but what's the rules? Use gentle hands. NICOLE CARZELL: I need
you looking at me. I'm talking to you. You talk to me. All right, I'm expecting
you to do better, because I know you can. Very positive. I'm expecting you to do
better because I know you can. I'm setting the high
expectation for you, and I need you to rise to it. The fact that you're
not beating anymore, and you're not perpetuating
the generational curse, you have actually
started to begin to break the cycle of pain. That is awesome. Good job. All right, let's move on. Go.
Go over. Go.
Bye. Go. Go or stop. CHILD: [inaudible]. NICOLE CARZELL:
Use gentle hands. We're not here to argue.
Just [inaudible]. Just pick up the rope, Ashton. Stand here. No. Mom, tell her to go in
the calm-down corner, because she's not listening. Desmond, I get to put in
a calm-down corner, not you. I know, but I'm telling
you, that's what she did. OK, well, when
I observe some-- - Desmond.
- --behavior that-- Desmond. --deserves calm-down,
me or Daddy will put her in a calm-down corner. DEBORAH TILLMAN: You
always have to be proactive a step ahead of them. So soon as he started-- I'm here-- you're right there. OK, Desmond, thank you. We're the parents. We have it. Because you let it go on so long
with Desmond correcting them, now he feels empowered
to tell you to put them in a calm-down corner. He's a great kid, but
we want to make sure that he's getting
what he needs in terms of being a 14-year-old. OK. All right. Ooh. And I'm going to start talking
really fast, because Mommy just had another contraction. Honey, you know
what you're doing. I need you to get up. I need you to get up, Desja. No. Desja, I said-- I told you not to-- leave him alone. He's asking you to stop. Leave him alone. Leave him. Stop it. I'm not hitting you, OK? Don't use my contract
to try to manipulate. Even though you're
trying really hard, and you're doing a really
good job of being calm, I need you to be even calmer-- like, I'm so on to you, Desja. I'm so on to your games. All of this talking
doesn't work with Desja. She loves it. It's hard to be positive
when she's giving us so much negativity. She knows-- Who are talking to? --that it's all give
and no take with her. [gasps] Desmond. I don't know what to do. Everybody [inaudible]. I'm sure she's learning,
but she needs to start learning how to do it at home. I don't really know what
else to do at this point. Desmond is total
off limits, OK? You definitely don't want to
talk to Desmond about this sort of stuff. That's the conversation
you have with your husband. Honey, I don't know what
to do at this point. What do you think I should do? And then get that
response from Dad. But you do know what to do. You just got to do it. I was afraid for the family
when I first walked in. It was scary with the
yelling, and the beating, and all the kinds of stuff. But you see, just being on
the same page as parents, and being clear,
concise, and simple-- and then, of course,
the most important. Your contract is what has
turned this family around. Yes. I'm so proud of you,
so proud of you now. Thank you. But the babies
are about to come. And you've already
had contractions. So we need to get ready
to go to the hospital. Yes. - We need to wrap it up.
- Yes. [laughs]
- All right. [laughs] Let's go. [laughs] Yes, let's
start packing. This is completely crazy. It looks like I got here
just in the nick of time. [inaudible]
- OK. DEBORAH TILLMAN: I've gotten
things taken care of at home. So now I have to get this
family packed up, out the door, so that they can get
Mom to the hospital. And these contractions-- they're
coming quicker and quicker. I was like, oh, my gosh,
here's another one. You are scaring me to death. I am so ready to
get them out of here. All right, babies, hold on. Yes. We're coming. The family is in
such a good place right now to welcome
their newborn children. I wouldn't have been able
to say that a week ago. The fact Nicole and
Sam did the work to make their family better
is going to change the destiny of their children's lives. I'm getting ready to go bye bye. And I'm very proud
of the improvement I've seen in this household. No more name calling. No more putting each other down. You're just here to
lift each other up, OK? You are a family. And you stay a family, OK? Miss Deborah, she
did a very good job of showing my parents how to
teach us without beating us. I love Miss Deborah because
she made big improvements for my family. - Thank you so much--
- Thank you, Deborah. --for allowing
me into your home. Thank you for coming. We never thought that it would
be such a change so quickly. But I can see the
positivity coming. I can see the change in me. I learned how to
talk to my children. I learned also how to not
just look for respect, but also give respect. Bye bye.
Be good. CHILD: Bye. Take care of one another. The fact that this family
that used to be negative is now positive-- oh, my goodness. At this point, these
children could go anywhere. [music playing]
