THINGS I WISH I KNEW BEFORE I GOT MARRIED !

hey everyone caroline Roberts here and welcome back to my youtube channel in today's video I'm gonna be talking about five things I wish I knew before I got married so if you are interested in watching more then definitely stay tuned [Music] so I have been married for almost seven years it's gonna be seven years in August with my husband and I have learned so much throughout this journey of marriage and I am making this video just to share some of the things that you know nobody really told me before I got married some of the things that you know we're a surprise to me and I wish I knew coming into marriage so let's get started with number one so one of the things that I wish I knew before marriage and it probably would have saved a lot of issues in our marriage in the beginning is your spouse is your family not your enemy so a lot of times when we are single we try to protect ourselves it's like me against the world we take care of ourselves when we are single but then when you get married it's like you're transitioning into a life of always taking care of yourself and looking out for yourself to a life of protecting us taking care of us looking out for us and looking out for your spouse and it's easy you know when you get into arguments and disagreements to get defensive to feel like the person is trying to hurt you or to feel like you need to protect yourself against that person but you have to remember you guys are on the same team your spouse is your family now this is your family you guys have separated from you know your your original your mother and father and you have come together to start a new family this is your family this is your number one this is your priority and now you have to protect that now you have to protect that unit now you have to protect that space but some of the mistakes that I made when I got married especially the first year when my husband and I would get into an argument or a disagreement I would run to my first family or my immediate family or friends and I would tell them about the argument we had I would tell them you know how I'm mad at him but then after like you know a week we make up we get over it but it's like I tainted people's perspective of my relationship because I'm sharing all my business about how we got in an argument and I'm angry and when people don't truly know your spouse for the beautiful person that they are they don't really know the amazing qualities that your spouse has because they don't they're not living with them they're not in that relationship with them then it's harder for them to forgive your spouse than it is for you to make up you know in the next week so that was like a big lesson I really had to learn that when we went through conflict we resolved it together as a team I went directly to my husband instead of running to everyone else to communicate my feelings and to go to God and to go to prayer to go to my prayer closet in that has now been my outlet if there's ever like a disagreement or something like that it's like I'm either talking to my husband because he is my teammate I need to work it out with him you're entering into a marriage you are forming a new family you guys are on the same team your spouse is not your enemy but they are now your family another big thing that I wish I had learned more about before marriage is that people like to be loved in different ways there's different love languages that people have I if you've ever read that book about the different love languages I think it's on Amazon I'll link it in my description box below if you're interested in reading that book but there's different love languages like you know personal quality time and physical touch and words of affirmation and you know giving gifts and different things like that and the way that I love to be loved is not the same way that my husband wants to be loved and it's hard because in the beginning you don't understand why you know if you do certain things you don't feel like you're getting the reaction that you expect to get from that person because you're like if you did that for me I would be so excited about that so how come you're not super excited that I'm doing this for you or vice versa so for example one of the things one of the love languages that my husband has is like physical touch like he loves to cuddle he loves to touch and me that's not really like high on my list of love languages so it's learning how to be open-minded in loving that person the way they want to be lived and dying to yourself so I had to come to a place where I would have to be intentionally like thinking in my mind okay let me allow him to cuddle okay like let snuggle right now or let me hug him a little tighter because this is something that he appreciates one of my love languages and I am NOT like a superficial person but one of my loved love languages was receiving gifts and it's because growing up that is just the way that my mother expressed her left to me you know that every single Christmas every single birthday she always showed her love to me by being really thoughtful and it's really about the thought behind the gift but getting me something that she knew that I would love that I would enjoy that I would appreciate so when we first got into marriage and we had like holidays like you know Valentine's Day and Christmas and birthday would come around I did a disservice to our marriage early in the beginning because I would overlook all the other things that he was doing like he would you um acts of service that he would do so many amazing things like my husband is so amazing but it's like I would be focused on that one thing and then over time communicating to him and expressing to him like certain things that I enjoy you know different thoughtful gestures how I want to be loved you know we've grown into that we've grown into understanding one another's love languages so that is one thing that I really wish that I knew before marriage just being asking the question like how do you like to be loved what are some gestures that you would really appreciate in a relationship so another thing that I kind of knew this before marriage but I just want to bring up this point because um this is a thing that a lot of people don't recognize before marriage and that is that you can grow together you don't have to have it all together and I think that a lot of us think that we need to have it all together before marriage like I need to graduate school I need to you know have buy a house I need to do like all these things and you guys know that I do do a lot of videos where I'm talking about like how to prepare for marriage because you want to prepare you don't want to just be like not ready but at the same time you want to prepare but you're never gonna be perfect you're never gonna feel completely ready and you don't have to have it all together my husband and I got married while we were still in school we were still in college and we were able to both you know graduate so there is no specific timeline you guys can grow together when my husband and I first got married I wasn't like an established author I wasn't an established entrepreneur we were you know coming up with new ideas and I love that because we've been able to see one another evolve and grow and blossom and I'm glad that I'm able to experience so much growth with him and it has brought us through so many different seasons that we've been through the because we didn't wait until we were perfect and then finished going through all of life's experiences to come together we said we want to come together so that we can experience life together instead of saying let me experience life first and then come together after the fourth thing that I wish I knew before marriage is that sex is more important than you think sex is not just a fling sex is so important God created sex and when a man and a woman come together they are made one flesh their souls are tied together their souls are knit together they become one and sex is important and a lot of times when you get into marriage like it's like before marriage especially if you're trying to be pure and not have sex before marriage the enemy tries to tempt you to have sex right but then when you come together and you're married he tries to tempt you by making you not want to have sex he tries to make you withhold sex from your spouse because Satan knows just how powerful and important sex is so he tries to pervert sex out of context so that when you're single he wants to pervert sex and he wants you to have all the sex but when you're married he tries to have you withhold the sex from your spouse because he knows how important the connection of sex is in the right context in the right context to have sex is in marriage the Bible says do not withhold sex from your spouse only for a certain amount of time so that you can devote yourself to pray your and fasting because our bodies now belong to one another and we are now one and the last thing that I want to talk about that I wish people would talk more about before marriage is that submission does not make you weak submission is such a beautiful thing as the husband gets under the mission of Christ then the wife submits she gets under the mission of her husband and this is all bringing the team together every person on the team is just as valuable every person on the team is just as equal but we all have a front role to play just like any sports team if the team wins the championship every single teammate gets a championship ring every single teammate is valuable and important but each and every one of them have a different position in a role to play and that is how it is in marriage no one is more important than the other so those are the five things that I wish that I knew before a marriage leave a comment in the comment section and let me know married couples which you wish you knew before marriage but if you enjoyed this video definitely leave it a thumbs up if it's your first time on my channel do not forget to subscribe and if you're not following me on Instagram definitely connect with me on there and I love to stay connected with you guys but I love you guys so much and I will see you in my next YouTube video until next time bye [Music]

Channel: Karolyne Roberts

Views: 188,830

Rating: 4.9403195 out of 5

Keywords: THINGS I WISH I KNEW BEFORE I GOT MARRIED !, marriage video, things to consider when getting married, marriage prep, how to prepare for marriage, Things I wish I knew/was told before I got married!, before marriage, What I Wish I'd Known Before Marriage, christian, relationships, godly relationship, godly marriage, getting married, Things to Think About BEFORE Getting Married, Before you get married, Marriage Advice

Id: Ci6KIv8hYdU

Length: 12min 14sec (734 seconds)

Published: Fri Mar 20 2020