Theo Von & The Frisbee | TigerBelly 153

[Music] [Music] thank you how do you do a lot you know you run I shoot the talk about what we're podcasts yeah no I mean I I don't know I'm blinking today dude are you really yeah well let's talk about Stevie we'll talk about whatever I want to talk about you know man well you just said you had nothing though I know but I just want to see what happens I just want to see what happens when this hopefully the aggressive person with nothing yeah I just want to see what happens when this thing turns on yeah I have been opening though I'm going to open Oh sir away okay damn I remember him from all the cruise ships [Laughter] he's like the guy this time to [ __ ] everybody on the cruise ships you know [Music] he's like the [ __ ] Laotian schoolteacher look like somebody you would find in the woods if you weren't looking way deep in the woods like in Polynesia what would I be doing though it's what I chopped oh yeah you'd be running a sweatshop to there's no one else working yes me yeah you run the sweatshop but nothing's being made yeah there's like there's like sewing machines and things she nourishing buttons no no there's no fabrice no no there's no fabric no guy yeah you have some really thick legs thank you he does thank you let's start female thick Where's George like that George we're starting George yeah like that young kind of high school thing Wow no hair at the top of your legs you know Wow oh yeah you should get that cut off Oh what is that that's a Fupa oh you got to get that cut up or donated huh I got that too you do yeah go ahead 5 4 3 2 space the final frontier these are the voyages of the Starship Enterprise it's continuing mission to explore what are you wearing huh welcome to this episode of tiger Valley welcome oh man we got [ __ ] Footloose in the audience but what we got here is a tiger belly episode with me blankie blankie my cake my name is Blanca and we got a flat you got flats right there we got Kendall gender we got that not a Halloween costume Kendall gender Yeah right just the whole face I don't even talk until I [ __ ] introduce you with your big Tom please for a [ __ ] strictly business yeah you're strictly dude no don't do that don't do that yeah you know I don't do with my brother right now this dude right here Bob Oh me and Bob we got George we've got my girl right here I don't know yeah yeah we got um we got a lot of we got the King rat right here man we got country that thought yeah country times USA right we got [ __ ] in then why can lemur hunter baby yeah yeah white knight slow thunder thunder bro I'm after that cage yes you know what I'm saying America's free we got [ __ ] free here man yeah we got [ __ ] bow guys couch we got got eyes here man we got lucky ov on everybody clap your hands okay oh whatever did I see you got your boy right here yeah talk about my boy right here man the DJ from every cruise ship 7:00 p.m. you think you would ship you get laid or no yeah for sure cruise director always gets laid no yeah no 69 in my room big cruise ship as a stand-up no dude I would never do that yeah I've never been offered but even if they offered I'd say no oh yeah a lot of comics do cruise ships like desperation or they really want to be on a ghost desperate man you think yeah I think some people like to be on cruises some people like buffets I mean I have a friendly go really he never even goes outside and looks at the water anything he just stays in the boat and just goes to the buffet now this 24-hour buffet I love buffets I love when they have a honeycomb really yeah they were not regular honey they have honeycomb oh honey goes the better that what do you mean where is that yeah Hawaii [Applause] you think honey comes from bro I know where honey comes from trees brother I'm not talking about no SAP I'll talk about honeycomb sorry from the south that's what I got up I got caught up in that SAP scandal and hit a lot of the southern us bro when Theo doesn't know what he's talking about he closes his eyes yeah we've got no work you know we're uh you know who makes honey though right yeah beef there we go them that's you know that's we're halfway there and other animal there's something else that makes honey what kind of or there's another insect that they're starting get honey out of what is it I'm not sure if I don't know about bears but SAP isn't that bad on a biscuit if you put sugar with it you know that's the only thing SAP is like it's kind of like honey but it's it's definitely a lot more tart you know you can barely chew you will know about art SAP I got some right here right now your [ __ ] eyes oh I can't even imagine the petri dish that surrounds your [ __ ] bald ass is something right now and is it real question if if like people in this country had a disease right and they're always my favorite disease no the only and the only way to cure is if you suck my dick would you suck my dick I'm talking about billions of people bro well it brings people what what do mean what we said basically you said would you suck my dick I'm just saying though there's some sort of disease in the country right do you really ever take up but you have like a kazoo would you we just suck it though to save millions of people's lives or what here's what I would do I wouldn't suck it yeah but if someone else sucked it you know and it was late late at night on my smell their breath really fast oh you would do that know what you're probably a hundred people maybe yeah I'm one of those that's how I made it well ask you ask the reverse would I suck your dick for [ __ ] for billions yeah what do they ask me would you suck my dick for a little for 4 70 80 bucks what that's it 70 80 bucks save the world what yeah yeah round it up to a hundred what about for a cheat code on on that bejeweled game you play over put about four mystery levels would you suck dick for missing what's a game called whatever it's like bejeweled or something yeah yeah man so yeah I guess I would then okay yeah why are you so aggressive dude well right now I don't like bet yeah you're like what uh you're like Beijing you're like back of it Fupa alert mm-hmm look like a sick and you're like fat meals or what so weird I'm gonna say this but that looks a lot more shaved usually I shave I do I've been shaving it as of late yeah usually it's a bush yeah oh wow that is crazy it looks like it needs to be dry dr. pimple popper yeah you know I have a leaky I have leaky things in my body I could see that yeah you know when I was on the show I would I did Portland Friday night and the second show um what club at the helium how was it it's okay yeah fun it I was onstage and then I I was doing a bit and all of a sudden I just [ __ ] my pants oh yeah have your pants onstage no I'm [ __ ] my pants like in a couple of different places but I've never seen my pants on stage but you and I stopped the show yeah oh well good night and I went backstage and then here's the crazy part it was the first show Friday night because then I took my pants down it was a load of [ __ ] in my pants oh no you don't have a leaky [ __ ] oh my yeah and then what happened was um who cares what happened after that already like here's the thing I'm gonna just guy can I just finish my story guy yeah you can all right um so I could I go to the manager I go I'm a manager like they manage your [ __ ] [ __ ] dunno I go grow can you go go to the store and get me a mo diem ad right the second mode iam ad from what the periodic table no imodium no that's not an element bro yeah it is motivate where does honey come from huh yeah yes I'm honey of a breeze come from the woods yeah but he wouldn't do it yeah Oh give me a mo diem he's a [ __ ] adult dude no no how am I gonna do the second show if I have diarrhea I don't care wrap your body in something dude get out [ __ ] boy you know paddle the [ __ ] riddles [ __ ] boy we're gonna give me all that stuff oh yeah it was a disaster Friday night hmm you never [ __ ] your pants man let me think about what happened to me one time oh I remember one time I got stuck in a tunnel my car broke down in a tunnel in Pittsburgh and I had to defecate extremely and that's French actually for [ __ ] yeah yeah and I did defecate and uh so I got my backseat of my car and the only like I didn't have any choice this was like you know it was like something gotten into my body like a pink I had got into my stomach and uh and all the [ __ ] in my body was coming out of my body yeah it was I in your stomach yeah it was like hey we need all this [ __ ] out of here I didn't invite us once in my store yeah and I got diarrhea from that too yeah yeah yeah I know how it got down there and I had a defecating to a frisbee out of upside down frisbee so I had a real yeah yeah and so I'm in this tunnel there were cars whizzing by here's the crazy thing yeah extremely hard to poop when cars are going by 50 60 70 miles an hour and furious - yeah furious like and also white people like it was Pittsburgh so it's furious white people drive by I can if other people are something certain ethnicity because I can [ __ ] easier when they're driving by honestly you know like if a couple of brothers are rolling by blastings and [ __ ] good music I can [ __ ] blow ass all day into a fridge no problem part of that you know everything is everybody's you know everybody seems like this more laid-back yeah yeah but an angry white dudes you know rolling by now six seven what they would probably call somebody - huh oh they weren't calling anybody I mean the only fee free finger they had they're waving it out the window use it to dial the phone so you [ __ ] on a frisbee kind of [ __ ] in the opened another yeah at the top part but the bottom part the frisbee is basically a cup basically the size Oh play it's a play plate well ladies is a cup are you a place is a wide wide wide no no are you pulled over I pulled it yet I'll pull over the car I think honest it run again so it's dark [ __ ] in a tunnel you ladies okay you should be familiar with tunnels dude why huh because even do that [ __ ] again right now man that Nam [ __ ] again ah bro what Nam what you thought that I was digging tunnels at the Ho Chi Minh Trail I'm the fruit juice the pomegranate fruit juice that's always no bro I don't believe in Vietnam I don't believe it they never found the boats dude all right it's just like slavery they never found the boats what do you be Turtles overall so anyway I'm in a tunnel I'm in a tunnel and there's only two lanes going each way there's no there's nowhere to get out on a tunnel like in a tunnel you know cars are whizzing by yeah and so I had to get in the back seat and defecated into this frisbee ride and uh and then wait for the cops to come I had to call the cops at somebody I I wall somebody not somebody I had just [ __ ] in a frisbee in my car and I needed help yeah there's a lot of things I didn't learn from that story I'll tell you what I didn't learn okay they something I didn't learn that a fridge a cup and a plate are the same [ __ ] thing they're not the same thing depends on yeah spends on who where you are how strong the gravity is in an area how fresh the cup how recently you made it how warm is the clay the [ __ ] cup is just a plate is a wide wide cup besides that's all it is yeah that's the truth dude Wow goby - plate apart with a hammer and then tape it together yeah and don't do a good job you know it would be the same as a play go beat a cuppa part I'm sorry with a hammer that's true you flatten it out maybe there's a tape together Rob do you have you have a [ __ ] plate then you got a plate any [ __ ] one how does he feel Bonnie I don't know how you do it you're crafty dude on [ __ ] mate man what is it she has a checkmate I heard yeah a couple of things you did already okay dude this is what I'm saying dude I just wash my hair today I know you look great what I was saying though is is that you accused me of making tunnels mm-hmm you I didn't say that messaging my to checkmate I would never do clever pun very clever on your podcast we talked about how you can't tell us it different tell us apart Asians that's not true I know he's from layoffs I know but if you saw him in the strike there was five other Laos guys would you go that's that dude from the tiger belly road you'd be like no that's five Laos guys I think that's the guy from the cruise first of all if you had a tag names I just said Rico on it you get [ __ ] all but so and look man I'm trying to work with you guys you know he's got an tight without the JK guys I know dude yeah a lot of them are Vietnamese a lot of them are from Mexico there's not one person on that is there there's two Mexicans there if two seconds yeah who knows what there is and I'll see colors bro and I'll see color people damn [ __ ] mate again say it I don't want to hear it yeah you know what I'm saying are there any racial slurs upon her I would never say I wouldn't say no you would never say that bad now that somebody's are there already slurs that why people get offended by oh dude I'll tell you what offends me if somebody says redneck that offends me oh why cuz I'm not a redneck and people say it a lot of times it makes me mad you know but they probably say it to you in a joking matter right me no no no you're pretty sophisticated for a redneck but if you say something to somebody you know in a defense it just I guess it matters how they take it so something if somebody does say it and I'll be like you know I don't like I don't like being called that you know right the rednecks it can't be as bad as the n-word or or [ __ ] oh I'm not saying it's can I say like she'll be you know I'm not calling you a [ __ ] yeah so no I mean I I don't know man I think for different you know here's the thing different people affecting people differently I mean here's another thing like I mean people like that were slaves you know or that were those people are all gone now you know those people aren't with us anymore so the effect that a word is gonna have it's not gonna be the same on somebody today as it is gonna be have been on some that's very true that's true you know there's no way it can be yeah you know but yeah I don't know what it's like to be called certain things certain things don't affect me you know I'm saying you call me crippled you know I'm saying like you're not crippled though I'm not crippled so I wouldn't that wouldn't wouldn't hurt my feelings very much you know you call me you know pervo or something or you know yeah you know you do have a pervy vibe about you yeah do you really do I think you do I think it's kind of cute but yeah yeah but I'm also you think your vibe is cute I think some of it is dude I think is it when I get real tired I can barely see I can barely open my eyes and it kind of spooks people out I'd love to go camping with you one day Oh bro why dude you and i canta you and me camping where were you gonna camp right outside of here I can't see you going very far no no that we're gonna call wrong or you just saying things you see on the map you know I've been the Colorado have you really did think that you and I could go camping I love Sam but sometime you and I well he's from Georgia Shelley doesn't come he doesn't come just you and I we could get some things done yeah Michael I need to comes to make sure that you eat and that I who's gonna do anything you and I are gonna born I would starve to death dude in a [ __ ] grocery store okay we could are you on tour Z at all huh are you outdoorsy at all yeah I like to be outdoors man oh man I don't mind being all girls like I'll go out there and wait for an uber you don't wait inside alright so never you seem like you from the outdoors oh I mean I know some things I spend a lot of time outdoors growing up you know I think here's the weird thing like California you kind of immune to some of that in a weird way it's our Los Angeles I think the rest of America you you're more in the elements more yeah but when I was in Honduras I was in Honduras for a month Honduras exactly yeah and Carlos Mencia took me there oh wow and I was complaining the whole boat ride over there mmm-hmm we landed and you have to take a boat there yeah because you we landed on the major airport then we took another little plane to another life of field mm-hmm and then we had to take a four hour like boat ride to his village hmm and during the boat ride I was complaining the whole time Wow [ __ ] yes because younger that's how it sounded that's all screaming that [ __ ] is that a cow the dead cow in the river say it you idiot that son of [ __ ] rott that's a day it is daddy yeah and when I got there I was complaining for three days mmm let me see that there's no toilet you can flush nothing right [ __ ] in a frisbee two weeks later I was walking around naked with a spear I'm a [ __ ] acclimated the kids were following me around the village kid right we were like on logs like balancing ourselves on logs and [ __ ] like I became a primitive man I can adapt really that I could see mmm I don't know I don't really can't I really can't see you adapt and actually but I did yeah but that was then no aunt nope what do you mean then dude you said it was back then yeah but like 20 years ago yeah and you're so different now I know but I think that I have the ability to do it do you remember what it feels like to even be hungry at all yeah oh yeah hungry the other day man I mean I was hungry in my hotel room at in Portland what'd you do I walk to the Red Robin and what you fainted there's a Red Robin by the house and I try to map question you know how you when you're walking in mob mapquesting you don't know what yeah you'll go straight to heaven if you walk him yeah and I was going and I was and then all of a sudden I didn't want 9 blocks I was going to the opposite direction oh right so I didn't know what to do and I was so hungry I'd woken up at 4:00 p.m. there's the hook there's no food at the hotel he's sort of an old dad in that way like he doesn't have the uber app or the post mates app on his phone it's all online I don't know how to and like he still prints out directions from MapQuest I do he doesn't know how to use apps at all he only knows his games but luckily there was a drive-through Starbucks there right and I got a [ __ ] one of those breakfast sandwiches and I was hungry then so I know what it's like to be hungry certainly is a plight yeah do you think honestly and I mean you're in love with this man and you see him a lot do you think he could survive outdoors like let me pick an element and you tell me how long did it survive in it alright okay rain Oh cold or a tropical ooh good question just so you know let's go because those are two varies well look I'll support Tom Cruise over here and let's go with uh let's go warm hell no I think that's so reason being is that he's really susceptible to mosquitoes and I know what it's like to live in the tropics and anywhere there's a rain puddle is where mosquito lay there it lays lay their eggs and you would be just yeah bumpy you're a big but in the cold this guy goes you with Edmonton in flip-flops I think he's he has like height or some type of like walrus but he does not feel any class I could stick my foot in a puddle of icy water and won't feel a thing you know it's not the sugar foot I'm a survivor and cool down dude no here's what I'm saying is warm rain so warm rain no because of the mosquitoes I know he cries about like a single mosquito but that's your you're acting so rudely that I can't even explain myself and it's not the truth you have no idea what my elements are do you think what I do survive hard do you think they bite yeah you can survive in the cold like I couldn't yeah I'm a baby in the cool I would die how long are you saying dude because when I was in Thailand I was out in the [ __ ] jungles no you were not talking about it you fella knew up up like plant terrarium outside of the [ __ ] hotel yeah no I I've been out in the forest and stuff that's true also for survival you need your Ridge wide while the ridge wall that rich wall it from the comfort of your home inside your pocket ready to move ready to talk listen guys I've had my wallet for ten years and now I have written wallet and it's the wallet I'm gonna use for life I'm gonna tell you this right now everything's so organized and it fits perfectly into my pocket and the clips are like really strong it doesn't loosen up and it's a really good invention and you may think this is a men's wallet but I use it and I've always used clip Wallace just because I'm sort of like a I I don't like the fuss of having a bulky wallet it keeps all my necessary things in place and if you don't like the money clip you have the option of this elastic thing to wear I sneaked my tampon damn you know you hurt money that's rude I'm sorry you being sexist in your ride rich well it's not about sex not about but the rich rich wallet they love all ethnicities yeah they love all genders and it and great could you transgender colors they love the colors of orange violets amazing rich wallets the from your home go ahead tell them about also check out their backpacks rich wall yeah at the comfort of your home you can have a backpack from Ridge wallet go to Ridge wall calm and use the promo code Tiger belly for 10% off yeah they're a slim slick and delicious that's Ridge wallet uh cough promo codes a 7-eleven in a day yeah and I pulled out my ridge wallet and Cumberbatch Benedict cumberpatch weight Doctor Strange yeah from infinity War ll Yes Doctor hey guys what is that like a rich wallet that's all I can know if you talk about you lovers well I love rich wallet dude look I'm tired of carrying a wallet in my back pocket because for me it just feels a little archaic and uncomfortable like people looking them out back at my pants and been like oh is that guy a camel you know look at the love his pants so now you get to work with that new front pocket carry dude that's real what's just crazy that we're adults and this is that here your butt will open up a little I know you don't act I like sometimes my Turkish kiss they call a skittle in there duck you know yeah so I can survive man but anyway you know I don't like when people accused me of uh being weak my bad man and I think you could survive out there look I think you're the kind of person that they would find in a you know in a cave or something they would find you you know some a couple of soccer players with no no soccer a Cub Scout to get lost in the woods right right somewhere in Polynesia or Eurasia yeah and they get lost in the woods and or maybe they're like young and they're like you know thinking about acting out sexually and they're both kind of experimenting right and they slip off in the woods together to boys and they're taking it off each other scarves and just [ __ ] just being wild and just you know feeling depressed in each other's just medium hard [ __ ] up against each other's merit badges and just learning about each other you know right just learning about each other just [ __ ] rubbing sticks together out there you know yeah and then one of them falls through like a hole in the ground or something like a magical hole or not even a magical hole just like a weak part of dirt and and then all of a sudden they fall in like a place in you're there right and you're sitting in a sharing like he's dead this guy's been yeah yeah yeah and uh but do I have words of wisdom when you open your eyes I open my eyes I say something [ __ ] this guy isn't dead and dead right and then you say something right I say Tommy's about to say something yeah clean air air twice believe increments grams molecules believe bend over that's what I'd say yeah yeah and then you'd be confused right then I I have a snake date oh my dick shaped like a snake okay they hear it first though it's got a rattle snake oh no no no it's my dick whoa right molecules it keeps you laying there lingers manga yeah and curlies bend over just do a LeBrons yeah and then I just turn into ash yes oh I'm gone and let me tell you this right now right they will never forget it I'll leave that Yeah right I was watching a Star Trek enter and they get married one day too and they have a son named Bobby Lee yeah I was watching a Star Trek next generation of EE and jean-luc Picard and some people to be product Ranjan look big car dude I have some respect for the different ethnicities he's French and they go through what he called it the Octagon not the option for us to become younger they turn into kids oh do they really oh yeah well they still have the same the only they only go back into their kid bodies but their brains are still the same their life experiences are still there oh wow and then what happens is O'Brien one of the engineers his wife was in it and she is now a kid was she inside she's the same here's why the same person right and what happened she had cancer no man no cancer man she's a kid now oh sorry yeah but she's now they're in their room right and he feels uncomfortable so what I'm saying to you is that and this is a philosophical debate is is that if aiyla turned into a kid I'm 12 years old and I'm like Bobby it's still me but I mean my 12 year old body yeah yeah I still have sexual sexuals could your dick even get how I mean yeah I don't think you can bro I mean if she's the same girl inside you guys a picture of what I look like when I was 12 it was not cute you wouldn't [ __ ] me you have a vagina well my thing is like yeah you know yeah you know it's tough it's like because here's the thing like I used to like whenever I would send dick pics to chicks yeah like I would like I would I didn't want to send them like my current penis you know start somewhere it's like you start at the end then you're at the end right started to be any started I had a young guy I happen to have like a bunch of younger pictures of me when I was naked right so I would send him like a picture of me at 11 with my [ __ ] dick right and like what the [ __ ] is this it's like this is like a naked boy yeah yeah that's me you know like when it was bro yeah this is that you know right but by the third pic most of them don't want to see the evolution anymore they just feel like they feel like dirty people and then they know a lot of them don't even talk to me oh so it's weird this is what she looked like at 12 oh my god yeah no no no I don't support there's no way stuff yeah you know what I do is I give dick clicks of my dad's oh really it's show to show what its gonna look like my future day I like that right so and then when they see my actual dick yeah oh it's not that bad Yeah right it's still fresh Yeah right I like that future future penis that future [ __ ] dude they um they have a app that can show you what your dick look like in the future yeah no they don't yeah they do how it's like future dick or something dick more dick in the few oh I know what it is it's probably like that same aging thing that they do like time plus dick or some yeah well including my dad because I why I see your dad's day when he was dying yes all right nurse and I knew that but his dick held up yeah I mean not I'm not saying you didn't go hold up it looked okay yeah didn't look you know very decrepit or anything if you watch cuz I watched some weird porn sometimes sometimes I know and if you know if you see old women that be trying to get into that you know and the vagina like a nine year old woman's vagina it still relatively looks like a vagina yeah some some some now I've also seen a lot of geriatric vagina yeah where they look like and for Gerry's they call them yeah sometimes when you have to put like a catheter in their urethra it takes a while to find whoa well you can't find the opening well no because the skin is sort of collapsed on each other you just took off the ends you gotta peel back the layers a little bit he's a skin huh is it this is is it I mean what you can't what you have to open it up and there's things that grew over it okay not you can get extra skin growing on yeah yeah this skin just loses its elasticity over the years you know why okay I'm gonna tell you something right now the reason why old warning it's not like that is because they're using it but like anything I'm sure you know a girl that's a virgin at 25 it looks like that two of them now I've also seen older women with very nice vagina so I think it's no it's more how they use it if it's if you give you any any tool that you don't use if you go to an old factory yeah you go to you know Detroit you go to an old car factory that's been like not in use for 20 years things lost yeah yeah I think you know but you got a oil it up it's rolling you gotta grease that thing resting that anything up so it's not a little butt polish on that thing right so if you look at like you know Whoopi Goldberg's vagina right if she's using it I bet it's more Goldberg than Whoopi aggravate yeah yeah but I'm sure if she uses it it looks fine that's all I'm not a scientist yeah but your labia is not a muscle yeah do your ladies not a muscle you you cou yeah but I know where honey comes from you know so we both win where did you say honey comes from what we call the woods yeah in the wood but in honeycomb yeah right a comb yeah where does that come from you kook you come you want to call me [ __ ] do not you guys edited that in in there yes you did and we have it on [ __ ] factual files do okay that's not a real thing factual no isn't there a drawing that's supposed to happen right now downstairs in the ship lobby can we [ __ ] give him a closed ladies and gentlemen uh the buffet is closed well we were in Hawaii a lot of people do look like you like those people yeah a lot of Filipinos work on the cruise ships noise no even in the hotel they all just kind of have your like bland look well it's not bland yeah why did you call me bland thie I didn't at all I feel like it's kind of an island mahogany I like that riah but if you like work at a you know I I could see it okay maybe if you saw me in a hotel you know working there you'd be like yeah that guy's weird nobody can imagine you working first that's so rude that you even say something let me say something right now okay let me I used to work on a farm did you know that an ant farm No [Laughter] we do here's Bobby's in here yeah that's cute it's cute no man a real farm man oh yeah you guys growing dude honey corn dude oh really heard of corn yeah yeah I used to work at a farm I used to work at a farmers market a set of pharmacy are you saying things that I used to work construction I used to wait tables I stood a lot of what jobs did you really as a hard worker okay I don't it's only when showbiz got in my vein that I haven't really won vain I believe that part one way in one way out hey upper lip thin yeah do marvel look so growing dude and let's go bro Lester Holt has a very thin upper lip and instead of good oh yeah he doesn't yeah have you noticed that about yourself when you look in the mirror though huh yeah come on hook everything yeah not not what Emily formed is it that uh that to that to know what suna called knocky knocky yeah yeah yeah yeah what's it called Japanese Maki Maki Maki Maki I was gonna say mad no I got this ischemia I get that one piece of she me bottom lip yeah you want her to this very caveman like is it really is nice how can you even see his for what are some odd jobs you've had yeah ah jobs I used to deliver pizza for this Christian Pizza it was a person what as a Christian Christian pizza place but he just happened to be Christians but it wasn't you know that it was all Christians yeah but the pizzas not blast I mean use challah holy water for the dough yeah they would yeah they would do stuff like that like the water will be blessed you know wow it's not crazy it's not a bad deal it's not a bad you know you know you saved and you get a good meal so it's you were you a Christian then working there or July I mean how look I grew another Christian bro bro no dude you're not a Christian dude and your activities yeah my activities are not Christian like right yeah so here's what I would say I'd be a bad Christian I'm probably one of the maybe top maybe maybe 200 million Christians that's ever lived on planet earth or that's a lot now that's a lob now I think I'm one of the top maybe three hundred million I'll throw an extra hunt bet I would bet I would bet my life on it that you're not know yeah there's don't do that you're heathen no no no no you jerk-off yeah Chris I think yeah but he watches weird chapters in the Bible where you don't know what God's up to yeah that's true you know yeah well you just don't know I'm saying here's I'm saying is I could see if I I think I'm one of the top 300 million Christians really yeah do you really believe that Jesus Christ died for your sins I believe that Jesus Christ is a good role model and that's what I think a lot of like kind of like religious figures artists you don't think that Jesus Christ was the the the physical embodiment of God I think he could have been one of them right I think it could have many you think that there are others I wouldn't be surprised yeah I'd be a lot of pressure put on one person do you think that he would do you think when I get down there buddy it's all on you who make it happen do you think he resurrected after a week or whatever I could see look if he is the [ __ ] Son of God he could definitely bounce back he snuck out of a cave is basically happened who knows how good the doctors were who knows if he was even deceased you know right you could have just a wound well he could I know back then it's infected well somebody gets tired they zone out you know like you just don't know if he definitely died I got to take you guys back to the Philippines you have real people who get crucified on a cross oh yeah the Thorncrown beautiful they get the they get actually crucified my uncle a lot of them people isn't really yeah people die from that or no no they bring you down after their thank you there for three days oh they bring you down were they they put a hole in your hand and they didn't and they put a nail I'm gonna get close to the lower boy you gotta walk in his uh in his nails when he did the walk when when Jesus did the walk and he had the thorns hmm and they're people with rocks yeah would you be one of those pelty yeah I always thought that when I watch like movies about it never Hashem the Christ I think I would have had the rock in my hand but I would have just kind of hung back me and tio just leaned against a wall yeah you would have thrown that right I wouldn't have thrown and I would have probably tried to help him out yeah even no matter what his his even if he's like I knew that it was some guy that molested like 50 kids yeah I don't know if I can throw a rock at somebody's have human yeah that's what those you know the the Boston Marathon bombers the brothers yeah one of the tsarnaev brothers was in the hospital cuz he lived right he was like gravely injured or what one yeah and the nurses had that scene it was cute he was yeah but the the nurses had that same dilemma where they just saw this young boy I mean he had like killed a lot of people and injured a lot of people like they still felt like hey this is just a kid hurting you know you can't you are able to compartmentalize I mean no I stick my finger one of his wounds oh I just dug it in there and just hide something in there I think so I think yeah I'm love right do you see that you see that I love what you are sometimes man I think you're a mysterious figure do you really do so you don't you think that I could be I think you're hard to figure out sometimes but do you think that I'm playing for the for the evil side no dude what you think what you think I'm to our carts yeah yeah you don't think I'm a part of the dark art no I do not yeah okay I don't but you might yeah I think you're on my team what is it the team light team light yeah yeah we don't we don't do a dark arts you don't know we don't we don't yeah yeah yeah we don't I can see that yeah I can see us not doing them yeah we you know you don't in any other time period yeah you and I would been like Schindler really yeah we would help people I think I thought I would I do a lot of the work and you would have been kind of kind of I'm planning off to the side but I think most of what you're saying is if we were Nazi German you and I are Germans and we want to help some Jews yes and we're trying to smuggle 50 out of a camp that I would carry to and you carry 48 I think I'd be put in charge of more of them yeah that's so [ __ ] rude that's so rude well here's what he's no no I'm gonna see this dude all right I would probably not do as much as you okay but I would do a lot of work you know because I knew you gave me a look like you doubt me here's the thing I'd put you in charge of the snacks I would be in charge of us a lot of leading us a direction you be in charge of the bread bag crayons something else yes come how about this can I be in charge of like like escape plan mm-hmm would I be asking will you give me some of that responsibility yes you are an idea man execute the guy behind the guy saying okay good I was getting offended there yeah no so I would have liked a little like hey do ideas this is where the fence is yeah right this is where you dig the hole yeah this is where the Goldbergs gonna whatever their name is are right yeah I'm gonna sneak out right but you do it I'll say that to you you do it to you I would go beyond the frame I'll be on the train I'll wait for ya and you wouldn't be able to go undercover probably no I'm not Asian in this you have to be Asian in this we're both ourselves you know right with tonight because the Germans were in cahoots with all good know it could be German Japanese yes I'm jabbing Herman yeah tip Berman yeah yeah you read your permit I'm Superman yeah oh yeah so all right well then that's the deal then but I think that in terms of the light we would do like [ __ ] yeah I could probably see us doing some pretty positive stuff dude you know I could see you doing some stuff probably building toys for like a yard or something like a school yard or something teeter-totter man doing teeters you know building teeters you don't see it no well I don't you mean for like Middletown listen I'm building like a little wooden like little I mean they're they're toys your reliable toys which I know but you're not making any shoddy [ __ ] kill what you're saying though to me he's put a lot of trust in the toys yeah but in like your [ __ ] bar on a concentration camp and that's what I'm [ __ ] doing making toys bro bro this is for the I know I'm making a seesaw on the concentration camp is that what you're saying that totters they call them yeah do you [ __ ] you know you're building totters for kids man local kids are gonna play no matter what kids will play anywhere that's true you put a kid in the seventh circle of hell in the [ __ ] play dominoes you know I'm saying kids are they're just built into him that you know kids will play no don't play that's what they like to do you know when you just set that it just strung up something inside me what was it I think I want children conversation before here a little bit yet I talk about yeah yeah but I don't you want kids that you know what's so funny man I was just thinking about it you know I'm just thinking about it now is like the time of trying to figure that out or or not what do you what do you forty I'm 38 are you almost 40 not that close to 45 died and I'm never gonna be 40 yeah but you're alright you're 38 so who wins that you do yeah but at the age of 38 I think that it's about time what the [ __ ] do you tell them you don't have any [ __ ] kids you got a beautiful lady you got a beautiful little [ __ ] kid maker right there if you want it and you ain't even bustin out you're out I built two in the [ __ ] factory did you really yeah Wow did you freeze your eggs no I thought about it yeah freeze that lady's example so you can respect be a gentleman I'll freeze the [ __ ] out of it with you for a week bro lay him over there lay in the snow in a tunnel oh my god what have you guys made a snow child that was incubated in the snow very beautiful and I could see you doing the whole Eskimos bro huh they're called Eskimos are they yeah man really yeah okay Asians born in the Mo's they call them yeah Mose yeah it's not us not a racial term but it's a slang term for Eskimos I know you don't like to talk about something about your like sex sexual life and in relationships I know you don't like talking I don't mind talking about it right I hope you know I'm gonna do a little blessing on you man okay I hope to god the Lord that you have a child in the next three years in their volleyball on the pool deck passports outfits we can't decide if the market no we're gonna have that every time I gotta throw him under the road I have one I can tell I had dreams of auditions of it what do you know I still have to they gonna burden is not on you you can just show up and do whatever the [ __ ] you all of my guys do all the work do what work that lorica yeah yeah yeah yeah don't let the toes doctor you see what happens yeah do this how can Vietnamese soup right there all right if you say Vietnam again huh huh I've been to Vietnam and you have it okay I've been to the Binh Thanh market oh yeah oh you were there right yeah which is fun I stayed at the star hotel it's Vietnamese oh yeah you were in Asia huh yeah yeah it's not Asia Vietnam Vietnam do you go to brothels ever know you've never been to a brothel here's what happened so I got to Vietnam right right and we get to Vietnam and and the taxi driver we just wanted to go see anything right and we get in and the first thing you do is take you to a place where you can buy sex if you want it if you want sex you know and I was 22 years old I think when this happened so who knows if I wanted it or not so anyway this guy takes us we don't we think he's just you know we told him like I would take us to supermarket take us to star hotel take us to something the American war that's what they called it there right so so this guy's driving as he drops off it's a pet shop so we go in and they got [ __ ] pets you know what I'm saying and I'm but you know I grew up around pets and you know I know about some pets and I'm like oh this would be great you know see what pets they have over here and so they have large parrots parakeets and parrot lits which are small parents and so we're [ __ ] look at all these parrots and [ __ ] next you know what my buddy kind of moves into the back of the there's like a curtain II moves back behind there and next thing I know my other buddy and the sub this lady comes out and gets me in him next you know we're all back there and it's a prostitution and they do in process and sort of got the birds up front and it's just a it's a decoy you know the birds at us up they're faking it none of them even want to go home to new people's homes and in the back they're trying to suck you out what do you mean yeah trying to suck you out of your dicks out of you yeah through your dick hole yeah yeah yeah I snuck you out of your dick just like normal like they do in America but they're trying to do it there yeah and they're hiding behind pets doing it yeah and that that honestly broke my heart these animals don't know that yeah it's wake up every day thinking they got a chance to find a new home that day yeah at just 20 30 feet away and a little bit of drywall yeah you know and a cash register that people are sucking people out of each other when I was in Thailand before I met you babe yeah only once yeah and when I like every day to this I wish every day to this brothel right oh and one day you know I picked this girl we went upstairs and you want to hear joy mm-hmm you want to see joy hmm we're laying there and I'm trying to get a mmm-hmm I couldn't get it Rock Jesus so I looked around I go you know what I'm still gonna pay you hmm but you don't have to have sex with me Wow the joy on her face I've never seen I've never seen joy like that man it was like thank you like she was crying ah yeah that's never happened it was like babe and we just sat there and watched TV all night Wow yeah so you know pretty woman yeah I don't work for the light I do yeah you know you made a hooker watch television with which you could've been out or like I feel that I am TV or some light work yeah yeah that's Wow huh that's crazy man well you know what's interesting is how like you know what's interesting is like how we view like like foreign relations and like visitors people visiting from other countries in America and how they do in other countries like when I was in like I was in China week ago and they don't [ __ ] you were too tight you were in China week ago hung high yeah you really antenna low high and they do not pick is no she ha and feed it to a cat you know I saw a guy pick a booger out of this yeah I know you can see that here locally but not everybody has you know experience my boogers that Circus Olli that already has that right here in the yeah but what happened was dude they you cannot get citizenship they're like if you're not Chinese then we give a [ __ ] they're not like yeah come here come spend they don't so many other countries are like [ __ ] you get the [ __ ] out of here you know yeah it's like I would you want to live there though it's a beautiful place yeah you'd be bored so quick though man but you're you're thinking China just looks one certain way you have the provinces that are city life and country life okay look do you think that New York is the same as Nebraska you would you don't remember your days on the corn farm farmer yeah you were on the corn Foley yeah dude but it's just interesting how like you go to some of these other places and they don't [ __ ] want us there it's like we're not even welcome and I know it's like lead by example you know welcome everybody yeah but at the same time sometimes it's like at least let everybody let people know that these people won't [ __ ] you know like you're not really welcome in these places yeah you know in France they're they're rude and so I understand welcoming people to America yeah but I don't understand sometimes saying okay let's turn America into China so that China can feel welcome here you know people come here because they want to be in America like they want to be [ __ ] American you know or cuz they want like American [ __ ] you know yeah nobody everybody's entomo here from Sweden and have it be Sweden you know why cuz they are they being [ __ ] Sweden you know sometimes it's just like I don't know this one makes you mad that you shouldn't be a politician I mean I sometimes I don't even know what the [ __ ] you're done you you said city life and country life dude they're two different things yeah and it would be the same in China okay name a country in China a country in China yeah a contract I get this guy that he's thinking yeah that's a clone see then now they belong to China you see but it's a island of China it's a city where people nobody in here knows anything is what I'm starting to gather we don't know really don't we don't we don't know a lot about a lot that's why we have people on to teach us we don't well you shouldn't have me but I do know that if you want that front pocket carry man you got to get that Ridge wallet dude rich wallet it's like it really minimizes it's like it minimizes things you have so it's like all of a sudden all the junk you had in your what it was that stuff you just carry your wallet in high school Bobby this stuff in your in your wallet that whatever with what you find in my wallet yes remember that [ __ ] I love those with a mall photos of your friends okay here's me when I was better looking I don't have anything in my pocket yeah you didn't know I wouldn't but I had no money or anything what yeah we just get on the bus I go to school no I was a state hospital we have to understand that that back back when I was in high school we have wallets didn't have all all I had was um I'll probably have a joint again in my yeah yeah I was a hasher did really yeah I was a bad dude like MC Escher yeah high school an artist yeah Bob Bob was the artist wasn't he who Bob your brother Steve Oh Steve yeah so no you guys the same you look like Bob and that's my point you think we all look this no you and Steve look the same sometimes sometimes I can't tell if I look deep inside of your face I see Steve I believe nothing in common really we have known God sometimes I feel like Steve's trapped inside of you Steve is hungry yeah my brother [ __ ] Co I've seen him [ __ ] you know some pictures him our drawings M [ __ ] oh yeah oh yeah he draws his own pictures of him [ __ ] yeah yeah it's how to drawings and look one of me was [ __ ] pretty good and the other when they were resting so what are you gonna do now what you see you have did man up happened we did a pie up we got a pilot I know but does that is that gonna be a oh you did yeah Comedy Central now we're gettin on full pilot so it was a digital series Oh now you do a full pilot for Comedy Central thank you guys Jane so your stepdad you look great in it did you like it yeah yeah that's cool so it's gonna be a pilot you seem like a champion and then when it's a serious will we get to beg go back on or no Oh stories resolved no no but what is what's gonna end up happily resolved it's just in like Bobby just can't get it together yeah but the thing is is that that's also that was kind of moving we get to prime time will we be on prime time or you gonna get bigger comics whoa any bigger comments well they're like can you diversify the program more and we're like what do you want us to do have a [ __ ] alien on the program we had kalila call up she's a woman okay we help Bobby he is from another different place and some other people yeah we had Ron Funches on an episode yeah you know we had a Jewish couple they got engaged like I put there some diver it's just crazy like networks like can you make it what do you wants to do run a [ __ ] talking you know teach a [ __ ] giraffe to speak and [ __ ] put it on your head of your mind yeah yeah you're gonna get a lot of that yeah I guess I don't know we crushed it though and you guys helped a lot I really want that to happen for his fun well thanks man but the Theo von show that I want is the show about him and his life back home all those characters you do in your standup mm-hmm that's the show like that boy Gert yeah you going home right and you reuniting with you all your all fucked-up friends mm-hmm I'm just dealing something with just all those stories or is just heaven they do we had his kid in our in my neighborhood named Robert and he was like he thought he was twins that never got separated right and so yeah when he would talk he would say something and then under his breath you would say it again oh it never ended yeah and if all that scared the [ __ ] out of everybody bro and he could not stop doing it he kept like an echo yeah Wow and you'd ask him what I did and he said he was - there was twins inside of him one never got it that's so funny that does happen like that guy who took out this massive tumor it was like freaking sixty pound tumor and when they inspected it or dissected it they found like basically it was his twin that had never really differentiate overpopulation huh yeah did he say something the twin like a man did like you ever seen like stone babies what's that well stone babies are basically like stillborns like when women when a woman is pregnant and the baby dies over time like usually the woman expels it like it has to come out but her body sort of make builds this wall around it so there's this calcified body in there for the her whole life wait wait is there photos online of a stone baby oh my I'm on the internet I can see you guys having a couple in here I'm way honestly shocked babies stoned a I'm looking it up stone baby I haven't been here in a long time I like a year oh no no there's a stone baby right here bro is it really here I feel like you could eat it no you can't really cool cuz they're actually like hard rock rock hard you can boil calcified oh look at this stone baby look I think that's a baby they got stone that's not a stone baby no baby does Bobby seem like what did Bobby seem like a lot of time what about this what is this Harlequin ichthyosis yeah you know these these ones grow up you know that put the glasses on the-- yeah no no have you ever seen Holly Carla Harlequins grow up you don't want it I'm gonna show you a very I know yeah which is scary yeah what do you think scares committee that's what they look like when they get a little long but when they're born live like this as closing as I what do you think makes comedians not want to have children you think I don't know but because none of our friends have kids I mean if this came out if Clive had a baby and this came out don't put that out in the universe yeah what is wrong with you Bob declare it I would just take it gosh I know what would you do with it it's dead no this is a lot demonic one baby I would take it and I would do now live in anything with it you're gonna get bust and I would charge I would charge money to see what are you talking about sound like what are you who are you Elizabeth Smart get your act you sound like that guy that took Elizabeth Smart that crazy got Voldemort or what was that guy's name Voldemort yeah take that [ __ ] strictly dude I got these in another country you idiot Canada can I try them on yeah sure yeah yeah are they are they special do they do stuff huh no I did [ __ ] up last week are you doing last week actually Warren there's a lot of mayo I wore those 3d glasses to the beach actually and they [ __ ] almost burnt holes in my eyes dude I had him on in the Sun for about two hours you were 3d glasses out in the Sun it's not good for you so Bobby does he watches for six hours at a time videos of people with with who are colorblind hmm and they put on that those special glasses they're family oh that's cool tears video the battle cry is what I really yeah like you'll see an old man hmm any put glasses oh they'll get my pack a happy birthday young grandpa Phillips is a no-go it's oh why does he sound like a slave owner we all chipped in because they're expensive to get you these whoa the glances right and they'll be like yeah the glasses he's like I gotta try them on right now yeah yeah sure right now so he takes them for like 20 minutes to open it yeah and then you always read the pen like there's I always love it's UV rays yeah right and then they put it on and then this is what generally happened they'll take it off and look oh my good there's at least are crying for a sec and they'll to put it back on was good so what happened it's so beautiful and what is it strippers no man it is flat if you ever see green bro it doesn't matter imagine dude imagine your whole life right yeah you thought that you know the sky was just gray and then you turn up when I know you're mad you're putting your plug and then they're blue you see colors for then they'll go they'll go you see black and white right now right well you you'd be he's like wife is like get it right and here you go here you go um grandpa Phillips dry yeah and then they'll do that yeah and they'll start crying okay okay I don't know what you're doing right now yeah yeah why don't you do it and it happens to a lot of senior citizens [ __ ] [ __ ] address somebody with a mental illness okay just say this you [ __ ] idiot you [ __ ] [ __ ] bro don't make a cialis right alright say this right now okay yeah colorblind you're born with it yeah are you their whole life maybe it's mabeline so their hope you [ __ ] [ __ ] listen to me right now George laughter all right you summon other countries from Idaho right so they can see saw was you could align colorblind there they have it of their whole lives who just people that are colour-blind nots anyone specific yeah I think if people are colorblind I think we got we got to get them more colors yeah yeah you know that's what in chroma does and here's another of the series of videos I cry at yeah is the hearing one all right yeah what were they they came here fart for the first time have won some guy had never heard a fart and then he puts on like a special farts huh oh yeah like 20 minutes yeah he's like he's shaking the guy's butt trying to get him to do it again and a queef is he used F and he has a cochlear implant mm-hmm and when he's sick of everybody he just turns everything off Wow that's an option that he has he's like I can't even listen to my mom or dad just turns it off and I think that's gonna be the future I think you're gonna see a lot we're gonna start to control our senses a lot more than then you know like we've looked at them as blessings in a lot of ways and I think we're gonna start to control them I think it's one thing you're gonna see people turning down their ears people being able to shut their eyes off if they just want to like stop the intake serious yeah I think really useful for somebody like me cuz I feel like a lot the stimulus overwhelms me a lot so if I'm seeing too many things if there's too many things happens we'll just close your eyes I get freaked out like it causes me anxiety yeah I have to like receive things one at a time I can't drown noise out here at all why can't you just put earplugs in well she could Bobby but we're also talking about technological advancements gonna be a cave man did you know yeah but if you don't want to see close your eyes put earplugs in and then do that or somebody who is autistic somebody who's who instead of seeing like for instance somebody without autism they look at your face and they just see a face somebody with autism they look at your face and they're looking at a million different photographs like that's how they perceive things yes and it's an overwhelming amount of stimulus that they receive it that they receive so yeah like if I'm able to turn that off or mute it it might help a hundred percent so when they see field they see like a dream board or something like a bunch of stuff yeah like when I look at your face it's just a face right but for them it's like so many different bits of information coming all at once yeah it's more than just a face it's a fiasco it's like everybody yeah it's like watching like a it's like watching a marathon or something's just a lot going on yeah and I wish I had all you could turn up your autism like a you he had a crank on your back or some type of a nozzle you could turn it up to like you know become more artistic a sprayer whoa you're really interested go to Vegas and make a lot of money yeah we even want to be some [ __ ] cooped it uses a like that user or something positive you don't be one of those weirdos in there just cranked up on the head yeah [ __ ] playin [ __ ] backgammon I don't know yeah I did that it's gonna bus up there with seven out of your buddies just to [ __ ] make $1,200 and come back I'll smoke that on cigarettes dude maybe a $300 [ __ ] massage you're better than that what are we doing at time over an hour I didn't think I had anything to talk about today well we didn't have you been in here well how did we do an hour cuz your beautiful girlfriend sits here and it keeps us all awake and alert she's like a flat she's like a like a beautiful plant you know not breathing well I give you oxygen you give us up I got a lot I really do keep us away a lot of people say though a lot of people say on the internet that you and I have good chemistry together really yeah you want to read oh no I think a lot of people said you is some may seem like a guy like you would teach about like me chemistry no no you and I have really good on sync you got it I symbiotic kind of vibe together you know if you wanted negation I think a lot of racist stuff isn't here today or no compared to other episodes yeah who says really racist stuff and I want to know who it is and you can tell me and I won't say anything Eric Griffin maybe he and first of all a race before you [ __ ] say something you know raw milling around between like nine different ethnic sambro is the Iranian what is it I know what is he what's that game we have to get the little puzzle pieces a different color all the way around right he's a mammoth you have to answer the questions you get the little pie piece yeah yeah he's like Trivial Pursuit yeah what else mint um you want to plug in anything or we're gonna do questions yeah I'm gonna plug something no I don't have anything I mean I got some tour dates maybe coming up or you know oh I don't know I got Chicago coming up August 1620 going to play laughs factory your ribbon there no I play Schaumburg yeah it's Laugh Factory in the city it's in the city in the city yeah you do whole week in there yeah Thursday Friday Saturday well that's amazing we already sold out actually so August 16th through the 18th and the left I don't plug it if it's sold out but still I wouldn't mind people standing outside social media ha ha ha zany is in Nashville September 14th and 15th and then what else do we got we got the comedy zone in Charlotte and that is a total of that row or fifth and silly yeah I'm looking forward to that have you played it before no I love that guy really yeah it's a given have fun there I'm looking forward to that I got the skyline comedy at Appleton Wisconsin and I've never been there do you get to I get to press when I'm on the road a little bit very depressed and my problems where I used to masturbate and then I'd masturbate so much that I couldn't even wake up or move around the next day lactic acid huh lactic acid I don't know what was coming out of me a certain point it got definitely strange you know I got past semen Oh spraying out I just end up not on a hotel room really I could see that yeah I just sit there and I'll just like stare at you know my iPad for like five hours now when you were single was it more fun to go on the road yeah well that's a good point yeah I think whenever you're younger too it's like you want to go party like I don't you know Bobby doesn't drink I don't drink so it's like I'm not out there partying yeah when you were also younger right you'd never like I couldn't when I was in my early 20s I couldn't afford to travel anywhere but now you're in cities that you normally would never go to and then all of a sudden you're single and then also I couldn't get girls really before yeah so now it's like oh when I perform that gives me an advantage so it's like yeah that there was that excitement and also on top of it you're opening for people when you're younger yeah so I was like you didn't have the pressure of headlining as right so like I get to go up and kill for 20 minutes and then and then and then just yeah hang out right I'd have to do any press yeah and I'm gonna be an alcoholic then yeah and it's super fun yeah but then now you know I'm older I have to headline I have to make money I have to draw and you have those pressures so it just takes the fun away from it yeah when I did the oddball with those guys a couple years ago that was a lot of fun mm-hmm because I get to be with my friends and you're performing in front of a large group of people but there's no pressure really do you feel like more nervous when you're acting than when you're doing stand-up yeah tomorrow I have a table read I'm petrified what do you already there's a word in there that in my table read it Wow I love the sea this is true love isn't it when a woman helps a man with a word well we'll do that we'll do that later but what's the question it's cute though and it's cool I'm helpful advice with Bobby kalila hey guys I'm a big fan and a freshman in high school I'm getting tested soon for a DD / ADHD and I'm almost certain that I have it I also have a condition called Tin Tin tinnitus tonight and tonight it what the Year tonight yes tonight of the year which is a ringing in the ear my ringing is non-stop so I've never heard silence these things combined with the fact that I'm terrible at math have made school very hard for me and I've caused me to have suicidal thoughts since elementary school I've lost hope that I'm going to get through high school but my parents are dead set on me going to college the only things I'm interested in are pursuing writing and blacksmithing what should I do my name is Minnie Milo well Minnie Milo blacksmithing I would change the name of it because people gonna think that it's you know so that was slavery yeah know what blacksmithing a lot of people don't and I wouldn't just run around in fact yeah a lot of you some black with money me like wool tone it down a little you know too soon guy its 2018 I'm gonna say this for this guy Mini Milo yeah first of all having a name like mini Milo is gonna make it tough for you to get a job anywhere outside of probably being like a disc jockey or something look man I think you know working metal works and doing metallurgy and all of that or whatever you know busting out with iron or [ __ ] around with some copper some heated metals or whatever you know that's beautiful stuff dude get out there you get a special helmet you know you get a [ __ ] torch and it probably keeps your mind pretty focused so even if you have a TD you can't you can't like forget about what you're doing when you have a [ __ ] torch going you know so even if somebody has a dude he's gonna focus while there's Firefly in another hands so it sounds like that man go build some necklaces build a bridge but I'll be over wherever the [ __ ] you want dude yeah swords yeah that's what I would do so I feel like he's at an advantage he knows and how old is he 19 a freshman in high school yeah he's what 15 and he knows two things that he loves and is good at Wow like that's like when I was 15 I didn't know anything like I kind of sort of like wanted to be in the medical field but I think I just said that to appease my parents like I didn't know what the [ __ ] yeah so yeah you're doing just fine about the tonight only 15 yes and you got tinnitus too what is the ringing in your ear I get it when I'm really dehydrated and if I had like worked out too hard and you got the home and its really really unpleasant I would go see a really good a ENT doctor where does he live what city he didn't say he doesn't know probably no I mean the rain could be pretty bad also I don't mind a little rain in my ear during the holidays it's the rest of the season when it really gets on my nerve yeah but today this is a this shitty but why does tinnitus sound so [ __ ] good yeah what do you got tinnitus yeah it sounds like tonight's the night you're gonna [ __ ] party yeah yeah oh man no there isn't her tomorrow yeah I got to yeah dude you heard I'm not gonna live through the night so this is it yeah oh you got tinnitus yeah yeah sounds like a drug yeah indeed oh yeah it does sound like an indie film what are you shooting up tinnitus oh [ __ ] somebody else now Eric Dickerson or whatever text me - what a gryphon text yeah nothing he just [ __ ] a Senna blowing bubble what else man what else we got well yeah one more red one well it's for all three of you hey guys I'm a big fan from NYC and I have a question for all of you there's a Japanese film called afterlife its premises when you die you get to pick a single moment good or bad in your afterlife to relive over and over oh what a moment would you choose we hang on you get to pick one good thing in your life its premises when you die you get to pick a single moment good or bad in your life to relive over and over in the afterlife what moment over and over so my whole afterlife is just gonna be that same thing and replay one repeat Groundhog Day is it one day or just one moment if it's a day that's it's a moment the guy said moment at the beginning but a moment could I guess be a hole it can't be a super-long [ __ ] moment that's called a day there you go Theo set the parameters question no I'm a time cop man I don't like people sorry Roger so a moment yeah forget the definition one more time yeah yeah um oh man what is that probably the coffee shop with kalila oh my god that's so sweet but that's not what I had in mind you tell Theo what that moment tell me about that when I was went to the coffee shop this take me there take me there no let me ask you in this moment in this moment get back no in the in this moment though am i aware of what the moment is or am I just kind of I don't think cuz I had a hard time parking right so my head I'm like you know if I go oh this is the day I meet kalila this coffee shop I don't think I don't mind looking for parking but if I have to relive the moment of me parking and then not knowing why I'm parking or whatever I don't think you experience that you experience it once and it resets everything resets mm-hmm so it's just that oh well there's gonna be a [ __ ] thing the day Makelele you can [ __ ] anywhere bro you can only make day one remember I was doing those like in and outs real quick and your vagina oh we were doing I'm circuitry circuitry will you stick the ticket in like four pumps now and then go to the corner like do five jumping jacks oh that's cool like you'd come around and then like blowing four times and then go back to another corner do another like ABS that moment oh wow I was working out and getting myself out I like that circuit training huh yeah yeah that's the moment Barry's bootcamp Wow about your moment buried boot camp I know I can't think of it won't be that moment I'll tell you that right no you know this is gonna sound really bad but I was once you know that feeling when you're young and you're so in love and there's just a perfect song is playing it's at this one moment at a strip club and I was sitting on top of a boy that I really liked and he had just met that night and the stars just aligned he eventually turned into an asset yeah but I'm not in that I know but I'm just saying I don't care about my person I just cared about the feeling hose it I have a moment that what is it area Tara blacks toes for 16 hours no no my moment is when I was in broseph I was in Beirut and that was it was the strip club story that the really pretty woman Moroccan a woman yeah yeah see that's feeling because I was taking the elevators up and I couldn't believe I was gonna have sex with this Moroccan woman Wow is she deaf American yeah Wow and then that we went in and we did it and that was a pretty good moment I take mine back no you can't I take mine back mine still gonna be that okay mine was her third day at the attic no that one was much better I don't that's because the first time we met we didn't hold hands we don't do any of that I was just sort of watching him trying to find people who he he was hoping would recognize him yeah he would like put himself like he would let's go in that skate shop and I knew what he was doing he [ __ ] was looking for someone to take a picture with you just so he would press me wow so it wasn't until the third date till we actually you know broke through all that other [ __ ] so maybe that Wow and did that make you upset that he was doing that no I kind of anticipated it yeah what about you Theo what's your moment one of my greatest moments or a moment that I would relive he said what was it again I'm sorry live the same moment the moment you would relive over and over in your app it would reset it would reset not filling that frisbee up in that tunnel that's right over not that sporting goods and not hanging on the sporting goods section I'd my bowels even Rumble a little if I can walk through a sporting goods section yeah I'm a moment that I would relive over and over again probably the first time that I watched Bridges of Madison County if you guys ever seen that movie I really do like that will be a lot it's a great movie man he looks through his that window mirror right any Caesar that's so sick she like grabs like the handle of the doors yeah probably the first time I ever saw that no no you can't anymore at five times no but it was the problem on the road hey you give a girl a moment she takes a mile matter what moment it is because if it resets then it's like who gives a [ __ ] if it's me groceries trust shopping at Gelson's right so it doesn't matter or just like cuddling in bed with your animals yeah that'd be a good moment if you're a forced to choose a bad moment which one would you read live over and over a bad moment so the option in the movie was good or bad so I'm sure some people chose bad a bad moment that could relive over and over yeah or at least yeah you would hate to relive over and over Oh what I hate to relive how about that it would it could be a moment where it's something bad happened but I could make different decisions Thea parameters for this moment yeah you can't see very far you can only see about 10 feet here's the thing and there is a extreme cold front coming I see one that is gonna kill a lot of people all right with that involve huh huh pop quiz hotshot you know what the bad moment was my first TV spot oh I was I was so green that I was just terrible I was so nervous it was a show called Friday night videos and it was my first TV spot and I was so bad that they didn't even air it and what was it a what kind of we the stand-up comic and up yeah dude mom was too they didn't air it really yeah was your Craig Ferguson they didn't ever Fergus thought they had to they didn't they paid me for it I mean he's paying like a whatever well you don't hurt you when they didn't do it it hurt my feelings yeah wow that would have been devastating why didn't they said some of the wording or something the way that I'd said something I couldn't say it like that I didn't even know they think I could do that though you know like Craig lives right over here does he really have used to talk to him since then no you know what I want to tell Craig to get booked you on this podcast yeah yeah tell him he owes me one yeah I really wouldn't know I really want to do that tell them there's a guy yeah program and he's never been he did a set on your show and it didn't air yeah can we I wanted to set that up I'd love to do that that'd be great yeah because well how long ago was that 10 years yeah but you were so green probably then yeah but still I mean I've worked hard and got a good set I put it in there Wow yeah I mean I've been I've been cut out of movies have you oh yeah where you went to a movie theater and you're watching it you're like well no I'm still in it I mean cut completely cut out the whole thing yeah but you can find him at any Panda Express guys if you [ __ ] keep your eyes open you know [Laughter] Wow well I did not know that about you yeah yeah what was yours the front net videos and when it was my first one in air I just was devastated by it and then um then years later I did premium blend yeah and the set was bad and then when I saw it back it was bad I didn't like it yeah and then but then when I walked around a couple of times you've got people recognize me from it hmm so I thought it wasn't that bad you know from what how I imagined it mm-hmm but um early on man those things are so important yeah right yeah it just means watch I can't lose these are your legs you look like don't even [ __ ] go with your body that's crazy dude no I'm not saying you're old what I think you're a nice-lookin I just think that it seems crazy to have legs like that I also want to tell people on about my obsession with the next generation star drug yeah is it good or bad obsession it's a great position and if you haven't seen Star Trek next iteration there's a there's an episode I want you to see called the inner light season five second to the last episode 2 hour one it's a one-hour one it's one of the greatest sci-fi episodes I've ever seen it'll change your life guys so please watch what's your top 5 movies before we go top 5 movies Bridges of Madison County dream team really yeah James good Michael Keaton yeah that's a good movie Christopher Lewis yeah dream team mr. Lloyd Lloyd Christopher Lloyd yeah Christopher Lewis is this lady I know that married that man and Christopher Lewis and he was a [ __ ] ass okay whatever what else uh my favorite movies are the Patriot obviously you know you know that you know isn't that Mel Gibson no Kirk Fox the Fox is in it how great is that that's great he's the best see the best of it yeah yeah so that I'm watching that movie in the theater and go that's the guy that works at the cat tennis shop that buy my house Finding Neverland I like and is their eclectic weird movies bro are they yeah and generally people go all Apocalypse Now or you know something like that Godfather Godfather yeah I also like that other movie frequency with Dennis Quaid and have you seen that one no we finds an old radio and he's able to talk to his father who's who died Oh ghost what was the one where they were like little people during your there inside the body oh I know what it is it's called Honey I Shrunk the Kids there was one where Martin Short gets into a little tiny sation no he gets into a little spaceship what is it no sometimes that's a voyage they go inside the body and now here's the live inside somebody's like blood streams inner space inner space is it good it sounds bad pretty bad but I like it yeah yeah it sounds pretty bad what is it movie you guys like to watch together well my top 5 probably you have you seen old boy yeah the Korean Won it's not that great yeah the Korean Won is that where they're all fighting in a soul cable you just said no that's battle really yeah yeah saw that but also [ __ ] [ __ ] head I didn't say that ok gonna like it ohh movie I said ok I don't watch it but what I'm saying to you white is watch it I will try and watch it I've seen the advertisements it doesn't look that great there's a troubled long hair Japanese guy outside of a [ __ ] lot of like bright lights and he has a jacket that's kind of like damn it's disheveled that is kind of true yeah name the rest of mole boy Harris Texas Harris Tech Old Yeller I'm a sober Old Yeller not a trace resin anything with Akira Kurosawa yeah I like Rushmore on top that's good he likes it he said it anyway thanks for listening to another episode of tiger belly um Tiger brothers a delicacy yeah what is it tiger gravely an actual Tigers belly yeah there's no [ __ ] way anyone's eating a tiger oh yeah because they're solitary creatures they are solitary thanks for listening to another episode of Tiger Valley go to Ridge wallet comm / what / 99 promo code Tiger belly a little off today but you know why yeah I thought so look I love being around you man it's nighttime and I don't usually like to talk at nighttime yeah but I really like being with you I like doing and I think that one day we should do something together yeah like what kind of thing you mean like an Internet video or something but let's do the putty cop I feel like you guys can do like a buddy show like a real series real show I could see it maybe like about oh I know what it is I'm blind or you're blind yeah and you're deaf they did that movie no no no you're blind and gluten-free yeah yeah and we're stuck in a burning bakery that's called the burning Baker boys yeah oh we're not brothers but we're we're cousins and we also don't know this we could be brothers you and I have work at it like an ampm how about this that's an easy man what about the last hitchhikers it's you and me hitchhiking across America or a different country Wow more of a reality show yes sure Hawaii they had a lot of hitchhikers there you go but where are they going there was another kind of what about this what the show that I pitched the show with me and David show maybe we could work over here or a handcuffed but there's a real show and we have to stay handcuffed learning man like six months not learning across America learning magic in hopes that we'll get on a travel show yeah maybe a travel show I feel like you guys wouldn't necessarily fight we wouldn't you get along I feel like you and David Cho are very antagonistic so you would somebody would be injured at some time the last war we needed a movie called the last war and it's you and me giving taking people to revisit Sarajevo anyway sure break the record was good yeah thanks for what do we got now what is it going on what do we got now what happened he's a little far from he's it's 1:30 I think someone has 150 he in what for how long episodes been at yeah boring went pretty far to oh I can't imagine that he's no 1:30 fine okay that's perfect yeah 1:30 is a very long time very late hour and a half yeah that was good yeah it's a lot I give it the Ivana round of applause right thank you guys and I appreciate it Bobby thank you so much Eddie show dates Bobby anything club I'll show days for Bobby not for a while not for a while guys nice to get slept King huh he's going back to slep mm-hmm thanks again to Ridge wallet it helps support the show by getting a deal on these front pocket carry wallets go to ridge walk calm use the promo code tiger belly for 10% off shout out to everybody give us a five-star review on iTunes we just hit 3400 reviews and it really helps make sure you check out the Avaya Podcast this past weekend because bobbing him just did it follow us on instagram at tiger belly on twitter at the tiger belly emails any questions at the tiger belly at gmail.com you can follow kalila on all social media at Bobby's ball sack is out this is Tiger belly we are very dark are yours much darker I don't find them dark look like a delicacy Wow girl can't believe you have that bro are you are you flexing your nuts [Music]

Channel: TigerBelly

Views: 2,227,059

Rating: 4.8618193 out of 5

Keywords: tiger belly, tigerbelly, bobby lee, khalyla, gilbert galon, podcast, khalyla kuhn, tgrbly, all things comedy, theo von, this past weekend, stand up, joe rogan, this is not happening, white privilege, jordan peterson, joey diaz, bhad bhabie, trust me, Bobby Lee | This Past Weekend #116, road rules, netflix, no offense, special, comedy, best of, just kidding news, jknews, justkiddingnews, #1141, JRE #1141, 1141, comedian, jokes, funny

Id: uV3anmk6Q-U

Length: 95min 18sec (5718 seconds)

Published: Thu Aug 02 2018

Reddit Comments

[u/Maple_Gunman]

Bobby and Theo have such a great rapport. The way the riff off each other is next level. The skit about slaves on this past weekend, from last month, was one of the funniest things I’ve recently heard.

“I can’t save you. They’ll kill me.”

Fixing to watch this ep. thanks to this post. Appreciate the quick notification

[u/danny_deVitto]

Amazing episode loved it

[u/slowturtle0]

just watched it. hilarious

[u/onadoor]

As Bobby and Theo become more comfortable with each other, their banter is becoming more confrontational and adversarial. I love it. Makes for an even funnier dynamic. This was a hilarious ep.

[u/simplyathrowaway24]

Haha, no one corrected him calling mahi-mahi 'naki-naki'"!

[u/Jhonopolis]

Can we just take a second to appreciate how spot on Theo's impression of Steve is? It was killing me every time he did it. I wish Bobby would have went with it a little more.

[u/[deleted]]

Theo and Bobby need an animated series on Netflix.

[u/Lokryn]

I think Bobby was just a tad irritated at the racial stuff. Not a lot since he understands it's all jokes but enough that I noticed it in his mannerisms. At the very least he was surprised that Theo would go there.