THE WII SPORTS GOD

all right let's see [Music] huh yeah it has been so long since I've heard that hello and welcome to wheeze sports I've heard so much about this game I really haven't no one's really been talking about Wii Sports and you know it kind of upsets me but either way we're gonna play it I've been hearing a lot about this guy called Matt who is this guy we swore oh wait a second wait a second wait a second boxing champion swordplay champion Matt's not gonna stand a chance and that's a guarantee you know why because I'm gonna make the opposite I'm gonna make the exact opposite of met the perfect counter so glad to see that all of our characters are still here joking hello jug coop from famous kpop boy band BTS who the [ __ ] is that I honestly do not know who made that I have the photo of Matt up on the side I'm gonna make the exact opposite of him Matt is a man so we are going to make a woman now yeah now that that seems about right Matt's bald he's completely bald you know what our guy's gonna have hair hard to believe I know Matt's got a big stupid nose army is going to have yeah there we go he's gonna have a nice defined nose and Matt he is not a happy guy he's got it one of those weird who faces on nope our guys gonna be smiling he's gonna be smiling all the way to the bank baby because we're gonna be winning every game with this guy the perfect counter for four we character met ranked 54 in Wii Sports now what are we gonna call him hat I know what you're probably thinking the answer is no I did not just make Matt pet that would not have been funny oh don't worry I've got I've got the connector hook I'm strapped dude I always I always stay strapped I'm a lefty I'm sorry yes I'm a lefty yes I hate lefties yes we exist let's go all right Pat all right Pat come on baby come on baby look at that sly lookin [ __ ] I just hide all I want to punch him I want to sock him in the mouth he's not even going for the ball [ __ ] what all right we lost the first one terrible shot by Pat I don't know what he was thinking he was probably too busy thinking about games in stupid ways oh it's up in the air it's up in the air spike it [ __ ] you Matt you dumb bastard all right 15:50 could've swore it was 1:1 but all right serve goes out comes back [ __ ] you Matt thought you were good bro so bad look at him he looks like an idiot we're at match point already I'm gonna spike it right in his face I'm gonna rearrange his [ __ ] stupid eyes that's it I was just flailing the Wiimote like it like an idiot and matt is just he just doesn't play tennis I don't think you swung at the ball and hit it once I'm not gonna lie to you maybe a best-of-three this time Arius what's up Matt Pat and Pat ready to go oh oh people ask me shad is this what you hope to be doing in your adult years and my answer is yes I'm just too good at wee-wee sports tennis man there's nothing much to it not gonna lie is [ __ ] boring I don't let her play anymore we've defeated Matt at tennis the only respectable sport on this list we're gonna play him in baseball now I was a baseball player in high school so this will be a piece of cake this will be a piece of cake I bet Matt doesn't even know how to play holy [ __ ] Elysa skill level 130 is playing against us is Matt out there I swear that was quick I got to be on my toes dude oh [ __ ] she's gonna strike me out no [ __ ] you jug coop is up I didn't even know he was in the lineup run [ __ ] it's math that's playing third base of course he's playing third base he always this better than me I've never played never been there oh [ __ ] why do I hit it right to them who it you don't even is that prick Oh 93 it's a little slower than I used to pitch but you know it is what it is what the [ __ ] Alicia just hit a 94 mile-per-hour fastball line drive to the left-field wall she's on roids she's juicing I mean there's no other explanation that or she cooked the [ __ ] bad all right let's there's no way Mathers gonna hit my gas here we go ha yeah that's right Matt keep looking keep looking as they whiz by your head [ __ ] you sit down give me some big league chew all right at least make a play here that's not how baseball works that's really not how baseball works who is this [ __ ] in left-field oh it's Joe Rogan's time to shine Joe Rogan Benton cleanup there it is [ __ ] dude you ever had DMT a monkey could play better than you there's a hit no never mind she caught it she dubbed the pictured old for a ball and caught it she's sweating up there look at her there we go the first hit all right Pat whatever you do don't hit it too Matt dude all right that hurts I need to do it again oh it's [ __ ] to Abby again oh my god I hate this broad Oh baby yeah right over a B sad that's a double at least I'm feeling it now jug coupe better hit this ball hunter then he hit that taxi here we go here we go oh my god you [ __ ] grind it out come on Logan knock it out go go go don't you have a [ __ ] manager to be speaking to you dumb [ __ ] don't you have a husband to be divorcing for [ __ ] sake died way out for that man I swear to god dude middle-aged moms on the other [ __ ] team or laying out probably duck home [ __ ] its Matt my team is gonna [ __ ] get their [ __ ] together sense of urgency boys sense of urgency Matt is up and I'm throwing him 65 mile-per-hour fastball oh I'm gonna give her this I'm gonna give him the screwball there it is I can't score against against the easiest AI and I play baseball my whole life I'm gonna have to put this team up for sale I'm gonna have to put the whole roster up for sale everybody's gonna go on the market and kevin O'Leary mr. wonderful he's just gonna show up and he's gonna be like I'll give you $5.00 for that and also spit in your mouth and I'll be like thank you mr. wonderful and he's like yeah you're a little cockroach aren't you and I'm like yes I am I am mr. wonderful please price gouge me ventilators I need some n95 s please my family's dying of coronavirus I struck her out there we go okay come on Pat fouled it off all right all right not looking good buddy that's the Spence the fourth ball you fouled off that's the fifth ball you fouled off oh yeah let's go baby that's right second and third no outs Joe Rogan's at the bat come up with a game theory on how you're about to lose this whole [ __ ] game [ __ ] god damn it Joe Rogan you're too high you're too high come down to earth buddy boom [ __ ] it's mad she's a girl she can't play baseball she's legally not allowed to play in the major leagues there's a law that bans women from playing they sit back down looked at three of them that's the game what do you mean that's tie tie tie ballgame that's the game yes that's the game that's the game that's the game the one place met can't terrorize me Matt is nowhere to be seen I see a B on the right there and I see a girl with a mustache that shouldn't exist she's got a Hitler mustache looks like Hitler's in the bowling alley tonight that's okay I don't worry about things like that I also did bowling in school fight me I would have beat the [ __ ] out of you there we go easy easy spare right here easy spare right here there we go that's a spare baby my highest actual bowling game that I scored was something like 210 another spare Turner oh that's what they call me they call me the two-piece a bowl the book I'm sorry I didn't mean to do that I didn't mean to do that Hitler lady do you forgive me what is going on here I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry all right they screaming like I'm shooting up the place no I'm sorry not even trying to do that I'm bawling I don't know why that's happening I'm swinging my oh my god oh my god I know why I know why because there's something I need to show you some might call it the secret to my success this is the bowling ball with locking wrist strap or as the Chinese say bola de bois leash cone Bratz electic they say goo d-dad para whee I found this on Amazon for an obscenely low price it was it was like $50 it's called the wood bowl not the we Bowl the wood bowl it's literally just a bowling ball and it has a wrist strap it's a bowling ball with a wrist strap so that you don't throw the bowling ball so you just you kind of put your fingers in and I I guess that's it also there's buttons there's buttons here as far as I know this just slides in slides in closes up like that easy easy slides in it clamps and this is not this is the sky [ __ ] hate the wood ball dude there we go okay we've done it we've done it and now we can play as far as I can tell there is not a B button I can aim all these buttons are functional they're all functional except the one you actually need to ball the B button oh wait what right here you hold the bowling ball like this how am I supposed to hit them that's what I asked the dude is the ball I'll do it I'll give myself [ __ ] carpal tunnel syndrome by hitting B like that oh come on oh come on yes no it makes you worse at bullying it makes you worse at falling the weave the wig Bowl makes you worse at bowling official review of the wibble [ __ ] absolute [ __ ] product made me worse at bowling made me [ __ ] worse at Wii bowling and that's gonna kick my ass if he ever finds that I did this dude he was there he saw it you saw me play with the ball damn it Golf gentlemen only ladies forbidden that's my kind of sport sign me up baby welcome back to the Beijing open you're here with Pat he's about to take on all [Music] what are you doing buddy buddy a family last one boxing this is what it's all about baby boxing was the sickest sport on Wii Sports hands down all you do is your swing this is easy me versus Ryan they said it could never be done but here I am this is so BM I don't know why they're letting me do this they should really step in where's the ref they call me Floyd Mayweather they call me [ __ ] I don't I don't know cuz I'm illiterate now boom boom this is great why does my boy have scoliosis oh he's getting back up alright I look like an idiot right now I really do [Music] that's right knockout that's what it's all about easy peasy Chris plainly he crumpled dude oh I beat him already Martin Luther King the doctor himself oh this guy's a bit harder this guys have been harder but I still got him I still got him no doubt he crumpled call him frito-lay yeah good all right Oh big hit landed a big hit on me Chris looks oddly like Carson in an alternate dimension where Carson is a professional boxer and gets [ __ ] by dude named pet dad dead dead dead goodbye sit down yeah that's right okay he hurt me he hurt me but he's dead he's dead I've never been to a second round baby and it's not gonna start today boom there we go [ __ ] do you think you are come on baby come on baby come on baby come on baby oh oh my god you better stand up okay my arms are so tired to boot oh my god come on no what hello dad I didn't think it would be that difficult I guess I have to start training boxing work in the bag all right I'm gonna work the bag I'm gonna work the bank I'm gonna defeat Matt one day baby one of these days I'm gonna defeat them come on pattern come on bad you got this baby just work the bank just work the bag it's that easy [Music]

Channel: jschlattLIVE

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Id: m3isacykDAs

Length: 16min 20sec (980 seconds)

Published: Fri Apr 10 2020