The SUCCESS Formula That Will TRANSFORM Your Life | Lisa Nichols

she's an author life coach and motivational speaker she has written seven best-selling books she's a millionaire entrepreneur who has helped millions of people discover their infinite potential she's Lisa Nichols and here's my take on her top 50 rules for success enjoy alright let's kick it off with rule number one you are your rescue I struggled off this school the last time I took English class I got to fail and my English teacher said I was the weakest rider she ever met in her entire life the last time I took a speech class same here I got a d-minus in speech and my speech too should say at least a quote unquote I recommend you never speak in public that you get a desk job so that was the beginning of my life that was the that was my 19 year old experience and then I go on and I'm trying to figure it out trying to figure it out I was obedient I went and got a job in accounting I was in the collection department for seven years y'all don't know I'm dangerous to accounting I'm not just dangerous and I'm in collections and you know you should never put a broke person in collection never because everybody's reasons sound good to me not only did I say girl don't you worry about payin I'm gonna take your name off the list because I was like ooh I got fired from five different jobs and then I got pregnant with my son unexpectedly and then at eight months my son's father went to prison I have to get on government assistance to have my baby I was on WIC women infants children to feed my child and when my son was eight months old I went to the ATM to get $20 out the bank cuz I didn't have any pampers for him and in order to get $20 out she got that $20 in I had $11 in 42 cents and I still can't tell the store without getting emotional cuz it's my story for two days I had to wrap my son in a towel but something happened Steve in those two days I was at rock bottom I was broke and I was broken Inglewood California my son laying on his back at eight months I have a towel over him and I have my hand on his stomachs and don't you worry jeylani mommy will never be this broke again and I made a decision I was bankrupt and every stinking thinking I had I was bankrupt and trying to protect my pride I was bankrupt and trying to be all that in a bag of chips and a bowl of grits falsified I was bankrupt and trying to not ask anyone for help I was bankrupt in everything that was holding me and keeping me where I was I've always talked a good game but I wasn't doing anything with my gift and all that thing about potential I was tired of having potential I wanted to have my now and I looked at that baby at eight months and I said I want to transform your life because you didn't ask to come into this chaos well as an african-american male child in South Central Los Angeles with a single mother whose fathers in prison he had a 66% chance of going to prison himself not on my watch not on my watch so if I have to be willing to drastically transform myself so that I can become the woman but I know I can be right and that's what I began to do I was radical what did you do Lisa what what did you do to change your life first I realize I couldn't grow with people who were struggling like me that hole I don't want to leave nobody behind you know I don't want to stay with y'all right be the queen of this block yeah and I became okay what the fact that it doesn't make me any less committed to my community committed to my culture committed to my family the best thing I can do for you is not stay here with you that's right when I've got that I went to places I'd never seen before I went to conferences where people talk about money talking about prosperity yeah talking about it was like no habla espanol what's your tongue though ro eyes and PPM's and term agreements and capital fundraising and bottom lines and what is it was i'ma stay until I learn what you're talkin about I went to the same conference 42 times and there I raised five hundred and thirty-two thousand dollars in capital from my company's start my dream and my dream was to transform teen lives I want to teach teens how to format themselves and how to make integrity based decisions and I got it funded and I started working and that was the beginning of me rescuing myself I realized that I am my rescue no one else is my rescue rule number two believe in the unseen so I was hungry like I was hungry people often want to call me the exception like oh my god you're the exception no I'm not the exception I'm an average ordinary woman who chose every day to make one more extraordinary decision I'm an average ordinary mom who said I want to drastically transform my son's future that he deserves to have every option that every other child would have irregardless of what he was born into I just was crazy enough to believe that that it doesn't matter the color of my skin doesn't matter my religious background doesn't matter my origin it doesn't matter my mom's bank account my dad's been counting I was born none of that means my future that's just the circumstance that I came from that's not what defines my future I just believe that not a lot validated it but faith is believing in the unseen anyway so I have enough faith to go I know like I know like I know like I know I don't necessarily have to see it yet rule number three use affirmations Christy talked about affirmations abundant thinkers understand the power of I am anything after the word I am is true to your unconscious mind Michael anything anything after I am anything anything after I am even if you just you know it's not true your conscious mind will believe it anything after I am so the use of affirmations is very intentional and very consistent I was diagnosed as clinically depressed and 2001 1998 I'm sorry I was diagnosed as clinically depressed me it didn't make sense I had been in a relationship I was engaged to get married and my fiancee who I did not know at the time was bipolar and he'd stopped taking his medicines and under the belief system that love can cure anything and so I ended up being picked up and thrown three feet across the room and I end up being choked until I passed out and once I got out of that relationship I just was different it was different so my mom insisted that I go to the doctor I went to the doctor and I sat on the table and she checked me and talked to me and came back in with a prescription and she said ELISA you're clinically depressed and I felt like I heard Charlie Brown's parents talking like womp womp womp womp womp clinically depressed at least don't that make sense in that same sentence and she'd get handed me a prescription and I read the description and had my name on it and it said Prozac I said that don't make sense Lisa Nichols wrote that don't make sense and I said do you mean I'm sad she said very very sad I said can I try something and I'm not I'm not recommending you guys if you're on medication you stop taking meds please don't do that I asked my doctor she agreed I said do you mind if I try something before I take this she goes yes but I need to see you back in 30 days if you're in the same condition I need us to try it this medicine I said okay I could do that so I went home and every day I got in the mirror and I drilled I am every day because I realized I have forgotten who I was I just forgot I just and it was okay to forget I just forgot so every day every day for 25 minutes I just went over the IMS every day I am I am I am and that I pay off that with I forgive you for then I parallel that when I commit to you Lisa every single day I went back in 30 days and I'm talking to her and I'm on fire she's just looking at me I'm just talking talking twisted her head again and I'm just talking talking she says wait I gotta stop yeah so what she goes what are you taking and can I have some I was like I'm taking some of me and so the power of I am the power of I ant can pull you through the darkest moment the power of I am rule number four create holistic success success is personally defined by everyone and as you're creating success create holistic success my bit my biggest successes are the things that people don't even see it's the fact that my 14 year old son caused me his best friend to his friends that's bigger that's bigger than any book deal that you can give me that's bigger than sitting across from Larry King or beside Oprah that my 14 year old son caused me his best friend creating holistic success is really important also if you want to learn how to have more confidence second by 2:54 series they're free the links aren't in the scription below we validate who we are by what we're doing for other people I say if your knees aren't knocking and your teeth are chattering just a little at least then you're not playing big enough it lands a little easier I remember there was a time in my life when all I wanted was for people to accept me rule number five do something different let me tell you in order to have something different you are going to have to do something different in order to have something more you have to do something you haven't done yet I have to say the things I didn't want to say do the things I didn't feel like doing to have the life I know I wanted period period and all I did was give instructions for here do this bite size do this bite size do this bite size bite-size digestible palatable pieces of what you can do that sound good you guys and when you look up and you don't have to have a magnificent change over 12 months have a small change over 30 days and then a small change over 30 days your breakthrough comes will come in needlepoint moves and you'll look up look up in five years and not recognize your life rule number six stop asking for permission what's been your biggest accomplishment you think bouncing back number one is refusing to listen to the negative chatter my own head refusing to listen to other people's perception of me creating something from absolutely nothing so I got a you know there's the books there's the TV there's all that stuff but my biggest accomplishment is being willing to give myself a thousand second chances and every time I got to 999 I press reset yeah I didn't ask permission I gave notice and at some point I have to stop asking cannot be great can I be brilliant can I be okay and still be accepted I just stopped asking permission and just gave notice unapologetically not in a braggadocious way not in a way that shrunk anyone else in a way that said I only got one life and i'ma ride this one to the wheels fall off and then all the other stuff came well as a result of a decision I made right but it was a decision it was a decision but it was and it didn't come from you know a motivational experience it didn't come from an inspiring teacher it came from hitting rock bottom rule number seven disrupt your soil there's so much value in what you unlearn sometimes the best thing you can do is unlearn some things we're all always going after learning something new because we're information junkies because we have all these forms of information coming at us on the internet coming at us in books coming at us on the radio coming at us in television that we want to learn learn learn but sometimes your biggest breakthrough is in what you unlearn and then you relearn sometimes you have to disrupt your soil pull your soil up take that dry dirt that's been planted for years I know I've just been knowing this for years it's what my mother taught me that's what we've always done you have to disrupt that soil in order to plant a new seed to grow a new fruit yeah yeah you guys got that and so I came very comfortably to disrupt your soil like that's what I came for to disrupt your soil not to necessarily keep you comfortable what you know stay comfortable that I want to disrupt you with some things that are new awareness to go oh wait hold on or new awareness about what you've been doing based on what you've known forever that doesn't fit your future anymore because I can guarantee you every single one of us who want something different than what we're getting we're doing something unconsciously from all patterns that doesn't even serve our future that's when the tongue in your mouth and the tongue in your shoe are going in two totally different directions and your job is to align them up so that you can move forward in a powerful way rule number eight unpack your story every single thing you touch is impacted by your story as an attorney as a teacher as an architect there's not one a business that you can be in that a story and a great story won't elevate your outcome every single line of business every single line of service that you're connected to will be impacted and ideally elevate it by the level in which you're willing to tell and share your story so let me give you some guidelines some parameters what I like to call the bumper rails as if you're going bowling you know when I go bowling I ask them to put the little bumper rails down so I can stick my ball can get down the lane so let me set up some bumper rails for you so that you understand what makes a great story so one is the willingness to take risk most people vision when they're telling a story they don't want to take a risk so the story has it has its limits on how high it will go or how deep it'll go and when you have that then you're really not at that part that's gonna touch my soul so being willing to take a risk being clear and concise with your story's a great story is a ShowMe story not a tell me story now this is the distinction that's the game-changer for most most people were telling a story they say so let me just share with you a little bit of my story and I'll tell you and then I'll show you so as I was building my life there was a time in my life that was very difficult it was very challenge true story very difficult very challenging very uncomfortable I didn't have a lot of money I didn't have a lot of hope and things just look dismal at some point I had to turn my life around at some point I made the decision that life had to get better I'm telling you that lets decent you learn about me then if I were to show you that story I would say six days a week I had to eat beanies and weenies I had to find money in the crevices and the corners of my couch so that I can get my son milk there were times when my heart would beat fast just at what am I gonna have tomorrow at some point I got sick and tired of my own story is this gonna be my future can't handle it notice the difference in that seconds - wrong I completely see that I just painted a picture same story now the second one will you show a story it's gonna require more of you it's gonna require you to find the colors what were you thinking what were you experiencing what was going on in your head instead of telling me you look for money turn and point now this is anywhere this is anywhere you are doing anything I promise you become a great storyteller and you will have to Veit your audience no matter what you're doing I've captivated investors I've captivated students I've captivated educators because I was willing to show the story I call it unpacking the story vision being willing to tell me what were you thinking what were you feeling what were you saying think about a story as an oral movie and so in an oral movie think when you're looking at a movie the first thing they do is they identify what state of time it is is a futuristic is it in the now was it back in the day you notice that based on what people are wearing how they're talking so paint that picture for me take me to that environment set the backdrop up for me show me what you're going through instead of saying I was angry you can tell me you're angry but when you say the hair on the back of my neck was standing up I felt the fumes exiting my nose I thought that my chest was going to pop and I was gonna say something that I'd regret forever who you just showed me you were angry take that extra time to unpack it why will most people not do that because it requires a level of vulnerability that we're not willing to share rule number nine find true abundance myth number two is that abundance is singularly focused on possessions and money right that's what it's all about what you drive what you live in how much money you make when in fact this couldn't be further from the truth wealth is possessions and money abundance is a 360 experience abundance is a 360 experience true abundance true abundance is your health because if you don't have great health life does not feel good abundance is relationship and at the end of your life literally you will measure the quality of your life by the quality of the relationships you had all the other stuff will fall away that promotion you thinking about you're wondering about that race it will fall away in an area of importance when you get to the end of your life you will begin to look at the quality of your relationships how are your children related to you how your siblings relationship do you have love in your life you literally will start looking at relationships at a higher level as you get older so when you mind them now you take care of them and I know that for a fact I have a friend who's who's worth 14 billion dollars billion would it be he was just partying at my house all night long wouldn't leave 4 in the morning go home and he flew in from Canada to go to my New Year's party because he loves my family connection and he doesn't have one he is financially wealthy he's relationship broke so that makes sense abundance is a 360 experience it's about relationships it's about health it's about your spiritual groundedness that doesn't mean you have a religious origin it's about can you release can you forgive can you let go can you be still do you meditate do you have time with yourself that has a lot to do with the quality of your life that ability rule number 10 dream big [Music] and I have a message for you a very important message we live in a world where you know limiting beliefs and limited thinking is accepted and in some environments it's actually encouraged not to put anyone down or any institution down but look at our educational system it's bound by who you can be who you can be we're taught that you know as a academic excellent student you were expected to achieve more pressures but yet even inside that more that higher achievement they're still a limiting belief there you know look at my life today and it's barely recognizable I'm grateful to say I have six bestsellers I set with Oprah with Larry King on CNN good to LA I've traveled all over the world to work in Taipei in Africa and Kazakhstan but that wasn't where I started I started struggling for 12 years in the educational system not thinking I was good enough the word fail are not passed was threaded through every year in school in some area or another and so I graduated I got out I mean I graduated but what did I graduate to I graduated more of who took more of who I think I might be able to be or who I couldn't be but not my possibility I look up and for the first 10 15 years of my adulthood I struggled I struggled because I didn't dream big enough at that time I didn't know I felt like my dreams were covered and smothered with the cultural limitations were defined by who our parents were what our culture can do what our community can do so you look at all the areas of our lives financially mentally emotionally family geographically and all of those things kind of put us in a box and some of our boxes are this big so we think they're amazing some of them are this big and we know that choking the life out of us the reality is we're trained to be realistic to be logical to stay practical and there's nothing realistic and logical about Steve Jobs in his journey there's nothing realistic 'el and logical about dr. Martin Luther King and his willingness to be radical for a change that none of us saw coming there's nothing realistic about Nelson Mandela leaving prison after 27 years and leading the largest forgiveness movement ever there's nothing realistic and logical come on even my journey born and raised in South Central Los Angeles having three bites a week just to get home from school you know being told that I was the weakest writer my teacher had ever met and that I should never speak in public by my speech teacher so looking at my life today and and going on and having a child before I got married and getting on government's assistance just to feed my baby not having money to buy him pampers and wrapping my son in a towel for three days until I can afford to get money to buy a pampers I look at my life and I wasn't supposed to be Who I am today something turned but it didn't come from outside it didn't come from my culture or my my community it came from within who I was committed to transforming my life into just didn't fit it didn't fit realistic it didn't fit practical and it didn't fit logical I didn't know how I was going to get there there were no examples of how I would get there there was no instructions there was no GPS and there wasn't even anyone around me that had an idea of how to help me all there was was my intuition my internal GPS my internal God placement system and the wheel and the desire and the big dream inside my belly and I was willing to keep at it until I'd burst something greater than myself in order to live the life you love and love the life you live you have to be willing to step on the other side of normal on on the other side of where people give you permission to step you have to be willing to step on the other side of realistic you have to be willing to dream big and give yourself a radical chance for a radical future and a breathtaking possibility it starts with you I promise rule number eleven disrupt your standard run into so many people all around the world who are living this duality one I want more but two I don't want to disrupt what I have and the challenge is in order for you to have a breakthrough to the next level your your your standard your average and your ordinary has to be disrupted you will say oh Lisa how do I do this and I go do this this this and this I give you the steps and the next thing they say is mmm that's so hard I'm sorry did you think your breath taking life will come on a merry-go-round did you think you're gonna do the swings and get there you're gonna sweat so get up ready to sweat get up ready to forgive the perceiving Li unforgivable get up ready to take the higher Road even when the smallness in you wants to get engaged avoid the fight because the fight keeps you in the little you when you're committed to being the bigger version of yourself yeah you gonna have to say some things you never said and do some things you've never done so you can meet the man the woman you've always known yourself to be rule number 12 create micro wins this whole piece of my book abundance now I wrote it a while ago and it's amazing in terms of just talking about and breaking down what's the difference between a macro win and a micro win and a micro win is that smaller goal that's you could see it's attainable you get that instant result and most people are chasing the macro win all the time and they're not looking at all the micro wins that they can feel really to get them to that macro result if you create 5 7 8 10 micro wins guess what now you're in a rhythm now you're building some consistency now you like the way it feels and then before you know you look up and go whoa there's that macro win that huge goal that I thought was a hundred miles away it wasn't a hundred miles away it was seven eight eleven micro wins away rule number 13 master time management so when you look at prioritizing it really lives in and I must say this word and you're probably not going to want to hear it but when I tell you it's a game-changer when you master and just for now begin to operate inside of time management I used to resist time management because I'm a free spirit slash people will call me a rebel back in the day meaning I didn't want to be controlled I want it I'm a butterfly I wanted to I wanted to soar I wanted to be free or the reality is that when you manage your time more effectively you've actually create more freedom that was a huge off to me somebody's gonna be lil right now like break through out loud because when you time manage meaning I'm gonna use better blocks of my time let me give you some examples for that let me use better blocks in my time meaning I'm only gonna go on my email three times a day I go on my email about 9:30 between 9:20 and 9:40 I go on my email I stay in my email for 30 minutes I'll go back in my email about three o'clock in the afternoon I stay in my email again for about thirty minutes I go back a name one more time at 6:00 p.m. I stay in for about thirty minutes that's it I don't go in nineteen times I don't go on twenty times because three times a day gives me adequate time to see what's in there see what's new and act appropriately otherwise it's throwing me off I'm blocked my day about ninety minutes each time blocked to do a task even if a task only takes me 30 minutes I timed like 90 minutes because I get distracted but when you time block your day and then you schedule each day not every day looks the same I have a time block for everything I need to do for seven days out of the week can you believe that in that time I got more things done you have to become comfortable with your know my grandmother says baby she starts every sentence with baby baby if you want your yes to have more value you need to learn how to exercise your note see your yes might not have this value anymore why because you give it away too much you give it to too many people you give it away too often you're always over committing and then you feel drained and frustrated and you don't have gratitude in your heart because you're over committed well that all started with a yes that should have been enough or should have been a I'd love to but not now and so number two number one is more effective time management that has your agenda in it it has your priority priorities in it right now your agenda is covered with everyone else's task I often I heard once if you don't have that your agenda then you're gonna work for somebody else's agenda and so number one is your time measure with your agenda and number two is operating utilizing and being comfortable and I know and not an attitude know not to like us thank know like now like that mmm-hmm just a no not now no I I would love to put my plate is full I'm free and 90 days just don't make no no energy just not now don't be surprised when everyone comes to you you're great you're a may you're brilliant look at you you're on this channel so you know you're smart you want a better life you want an abundant life of course you're here of course we won't want you and your priorities matters rule number fourteen leap afraid so we talked about making your dash dance 0.1 you got to be willing to do it afraid see you might be waiting for the fear to stop well Lisa I heard this so many times Lisa I'm afraid what do I do do it anyway Lisa I'm afraid I don't quite know if I should move move anyway I don't know if I should leap leap afraid and then gather your courage on the way down and if you don't get it before you hit you was gonna hit anyway I'd rather die leaping then on the edge figuring out how to get the courage to leap yes yes yes yes so many times we're waiting we're waiting I'm waiting I'm waiting to get something rise I see your hands going up you guys know if it's your truth you can raise your hand just like we did on day zero you're just kind of waiting you're waiting to get everything in order you're waiting you're waiting so that everything is is Inuits together you're waiting to not be afraid you're waiting to have the courage you're waiting to have all the money you're waiting to lose weight see see if I waited to release my unwanted pounds before I got in front of you Lisa Nichols would be the secret yes yes I thought how about I just leap with my imperfection and then find my form of perfecting my imperfection while I'm sorry how about I do that how about I how about you not wait to get it right you look at you figure out how does it look doing it wrong how does that look because you're 80% of right is somebody else's hundred and fifty nine percent of what they needed yes yes and what you want to do it right and you want to wait too you're not afraid and you want to wait you ever all together Oh you made it about you again see Nelson Mandela did it he just did it not knowing if you were right Mahatma Gandhi just did it not knowing if it were right mother Teresa just did it not looking for affirmation or confirmation is this right Martin Luther King did it not even knowing if it would happen before his life ended what are you waiting on are you willing to do it afraid are you willing to do it knowing that you got so much work to do to get it better to get it more perfect but are you willing to do it inside your imperfection do you realize that in your imperfection you're perfect for the job rule number 15 visualize visualization is a gift to your heart and your soul it's a gift because if the the idea is the seed visualization is the is the it's the fertilizer it's the fertilizer because when your thoughts are connected with an emotion see you would visualize yourself winning and you would feel all the emotion that came with that and all you're doing now is you're not chasing a foreign emotion you know the feeling and now you're just doing what's necessary to get back to that feeling in real time and so what what a good friend of mine vision who the CEO of my value you know I would I did a visualization with him we were in Bali and he said to me afterwards I never get emotional yeah well he was like I cried I got emotional because I figured it out it's visualization a good visualization brings an emotion he was like that's how you do it and so I love doing visualizations because and and it's really important in the visualization you can't see it over there you have to see it right here you got to feel it right here like I am it's all I am I am I am in my dream home I am in my dream relationship and then unpack what that looks like but most importantly unpack what it feels like and when you have that that emotion in this moment all of a sudden you stir up something that I don't think will ever go back to sleep it'll go okay let's go get that and what it really does is it sets up a state of cognitive dissonance and cognitive dissonance is when you see something in your mind and you see yourself in a way that your behaviors are not currently leading to us so your mind becomes disrupted and it goes okay can we get there right out there right now right now and that's not comfortable your mind wants to literally be congruent what it thinks is what you're doing what it thinks is what you're doing and so when you set up a constant and abundant thinkers like you and I we do it unconsciously we are constantly keeping our self in a state of cognitive dissonance meaning okay what else and I'm seeing Lisa over there and I'm gonna okay let me go Wow while being grateful for my now yeah it's not in that I'm gonna be holding complete when I get over there I'm holding complete now I just know I'm supposed to be over there so let me do what's necessary to get over there and let me let me evict any behaviors or characteristics that are stopping me and let me adopt any new ones that I need rule number sixteen define prosperity for yourself so when you ask the question when you look at the question how do I create a life of prosperity when I haven't known it when my family hasn't done it when it's not what we're it's not what I was born into you know there many people was born who were born into prosperity I wasn't one and you may or may not be one but how you transform a life or create lack of prosperity is number one you identify what does prosperity look like to you define prosperity by your own terms and don't make it a global Universal answer you want to define prosperity in each area of your life I know that sounds like really detailed but you cannot hit a moving target you won't ever hit a movie talks with the more detail you get the more the target slows down rule number 17 trust your intuition you know when you want to learn how to trust your intuition more you know I say and this is me and my walk and my my belief system that your intuition is your internal GPS system your internal God placement system it's that whisper and sometimes it's that screamed that tells you to leap or to be still your intuition is a combination of spirit emotion and logic and it's guiding you and so often we don't hear our intuition why don't we hear it because we're having too much chatter in our head like the chatter in our head doubt worry judgment oh my god judgment or fear fear of other people's perception of you so your intuition is saying I love to dance I want to dance I want to sing your intuition is saying we can have a great time your intuition said I want love your intuition is saying gosh let's go take that chance on that writing that book or let's take that chance on starting that business then your chatter comes in know what if I fail so let me explain this to you your mind your brain is designed to keep you safe it's designed and it only has the ability to go back in time in the mental file cabinet and look at the last time you tried something like this and it may not have been good or may have ended in some dangerous situations where people could judge you and your brain is designed to protect you that's it your brains desire to protect you is logical your intuition is that spark of passion it's that spark of desire it's that spark of love it's that spark of pull me forward it's that little bit of radical it's that a lot of bit of I want to leave my fingerprint on this planet your brain isn't designed to have those same IDs now now your intuition can kick the brain in and the brake and start thinking of ways to but the intuition is where it's gonna start it's in your gut it see this is why when you feel something you kind of go here you don't go oh I feel so special you don't say I feel special here you say I feel it here I feel it here and so your job is not to turn down the doubt your job is to turn up the passion it's to turn up the faith is to turn up the possibility now still make well-thought-out plan I always say the best plan is the plan made I don't care if you have to upgrade it you have to modify it but if you if you if you if you fail to plan then you plan to fail so every dream every passion every desire follow it with a plan because after your brain gets excited your brain goes yeah we got a plan now now you can believe yourself see you set big goals and dreams and you have desires and then you don't achieve it but you don't achieve it because you didn't set the plan in place you didn't do the details and then you stopped believing you could do it then you do the biggest tragedy you stop dreaming you stop hoping you stop stretching yourself you stop listening to your GPS your god placement system that says you've been put here on a divine of thing and your assignment may change over years guess what your assignment you had 15 years ago may be very different from the assignment on your life today your job is to turn down the volume in your head the volume of judgment the volume of fear the volume of worry the volume of perfection turned down the volume in your head and turn up the volume in your intuition then your solar plex in that God placement system in that heart space turn up the volume that place that just says what do I want what ask yourself this tonight today tomorrow what feels good and then be still and be quiet rule number 18 like yourself first to me this is the road to true freedom I have nothing to prove mmm I have nothing to protect add nothing to hide and I have nothing to defend mmm that your perception of me after I tell my truth is actually none of my business my perception of me that I go to bed as whole and complete as I woke up before I check how many likes I have on Facebook that I like me first mmm and every other like is bonus very young market that was a long road to get to low road for long road rule number 19 play big I get asked the question a lot how do I jump start again when I've been complacent you know I found that I had to ask myself this question as well for so many years I was working hard to feed Jelani I was working hard to give him an equal chance I had this goal that by the time he was 18 I would have transformed our lives and I ran hard for it and I worked hard for it and by the time he was 18 our lives were completely transformed and barely recognizable and I found that I had slowed down a bit still running but running at about 70% and the challenge that you have to watch out for is that your 70% could be someone else's a hundred and fifteen percent because you are such a game changer so you can impress a lot of people never playing full-out and you can look up in the years past three years past five years have passed and you haven't played full out for a while because you've already achieved a lot by some people's standards but there's still so much more that you can do I want to coach you in this way dream a dream are set a goal that's big enough to make you get nervous often times if you're not setting a goal that's beyond three years out in front of you there's not enough to run for so I want you to look at your goals can you achieve them in a year two years I want you to set a goal for three years set a goal for five years and set a goal for ten years yes I said ten years when I did this phenomenal program called life book they had me set ten-year goals and I was so uncomfortable I said they're silent for a moment I hadn't thought ten years out about my life but if you go out far enough ten five three then all of a sudden you're playing for something so much bigger and then set a goal that makes your knees knock and your teeth chatter a bit if you know how to get to your goal you're not dreaming big enough now the goal also has to be realistic so has to be realistic something you can do if you're currently making 80,000 then your goal in three years isn't to make 500,000 unless you have a path that's viable to get you there that's real the thing that's really important to remember about a goal is that if you set lofty goals that you will never hit because they're not realistic in the first place you have to set realistic goals that doesn't mean you're not capable doesn't mean that you don't believe in yourself but realistic goals if you set a bunch of unrealistic goals and you don't hit them every time you don't need a goal you lose just a little bit of hoping yourself a little bit of faith in yourself and then what happens is you look up five years ten years from now and you're not dreaming anymore you're not setting goals anymore you're afraid to tell anyone so set a goal that makes your knees knocking your teeth chatter a bit set a goal that's three years out in front of you set one that's five years and set one that's ten years and matter of fact sets several and all those timelines and then hook your caboose to the Train of other people who are running as fast as you are surround yourself in a community that inspires you to want to stand on your tippy toes they inspire you because they're doing so much now they believe in values they believe in faith they believe in family but they also believe in running hard playing hard and living big because if you're the biggest fish in your community then that's okay you just need to get a second community to play inside them as well and so if you find yourself going hold on I've become complacent walk out 15 years and go do I want to look back in 15 years and this was the best that I did the answer probably is no rule number 20 live your quest when we talk about living our quest I think that living my quest really if I look at on a daily basis it's finding my own voice it's finding your voice it's finding the song that only you can sing off-key or not it's finding your rhythm it's discovering what it feels like to walk in your shoes today it won't look like it looked ten years ago living your quest is what can I do with my life so that my life becomes infectious to someone else living my quest looks like how do I make my fingerprint matter so big that it lives beyond my transition day living your quest is how can I forgive the perceiving Lea unforgivable so I can love the absolute loveable living your quest is how do I give myself a thousand second chances and every time I get to 999 press reset yeah yeah living my quest is is not some ambiguous untouchable experience living my quest means going back and healing the little girl in me so that the woman can be free it's going back at embracing the little boy in you so that the man can show up and give himself permission to cry when necessary living your quest is not something that you can't touch it's not something that requires a stage or lights or cameras living your quest as being completing content with who you are in the dark of the night so who you are in the middle of the day is all right living your quest is as simple as it is complex living your quest is about giving yourself permission say permission on a daily basis to become the next best version of yourself living your quest is not holding yourself hostage to old decisions not holding yourself hostage to shame blame guilt regret and anger living your quest is about recognizing that everyday I can be reborn to my possibility living your quest is as internal and personal as it is public living your quest is about recognizing that you have brilliance in you and not being willing to dim your light one more day living your quest means not being afraid of the genius in you even though you have doubt living your quest is recognizing that you get to sing your song off tune that you can get to live in perfection while you master imperfection rule number 21 shift your energy we spend so much time and energy trying to prevent ourselves from falling we spend so much energy trying to prevent a failure we spend so much energy making sure were safe and if we spent 70% of that energy exploring how we can soar exploring how we can play bigger explore how we can make memories that we absolutely will be excited to tell when we're 85 years old sitting in our favorite rocking chair if we spent 40% 50% of that same energy how would our lives look differently I'm not saying be reckless I'm not saying do it without a plan what I am saying is so many times I get the question how do I prevent failure and I'd love for you to spend that same energy going how could I ensure that I soar how can I ensure that I live the life that I want to tell people about that I write the story that's gonna be really really good to read so number one is shift your energy on what you want to create versus what you want to prevent because energy grows where energy goes if you've looked at several episodes you've probably heard me say that before not because I've run out of content but because I want to keep saying it because repetition is not the mother and father of learning repetition is the mother father sister brother aunt and uncle and second cousin of learning so I'm going to keep telling you this that energy grows where energy goes so while we want to mitigate and reduce our risk of falling reduce our risk of failure we want to spend our dominant energy on creating possibility and what we want to run toward now I say that I say that from lessons learned not just as a teacher but because I for many years in the early part of my career unbeknownst to me unconsciously I wasn't running toward possibility I was trying to outrun eleven dollars and 42 cents in the bank like I had in 1994 and so I know that once I was able to get far enough away from that experience I start losing motivation I stopped running as fast I didn't know it I didn't know why it's because I knew I wasn't threatened by ever seeing $11 and 42 cents again and then I brought all my motivation was gone I was nervous for about a year I was still in motion still you know generating a lot of business a lot of buzz but internally I wasn't driven the same way until I shifted my energy and said what am i running toward the first answer was I don't know because I've been trying to outrun something so long but I wasn't looking forward really looking for like horizon for like up for I may have been looking at the next goal for it the next target for but I wasn't looking at horizon something so big it would take me ten years to get there it would take me 15 years to get there and so number one let's create a big bodacious like Yummie in five years I want to be here in ten years I want to have this let's create something to run toward that makes your knees knock a bit then it stretches you it doesn't stress you it stretches you rule number 22 live in alignment of your purpose I love the phrase willpower but willpower isn't something you conjure up willpower isn't something you drink willpower isn't something you download from Google what you're talking about is how do I make the choices that are in alignment with my highest purpose and my highest vision for myself that's what you really want to ask see your life is a physical manifestation of the choices that you made up into this moment I'm gonna say that again because that gets a little deep and that can go over some people's head that can hit you sometimes right between the eyes and you got to hear the second time so here goes your life right now as it exists to your finances your weight your relationships your career your self-esteem your self-image your spiritual awareness all of that is a result of the choices that you've made up into this moment big and small and just so you know your life the way it appears today is not a result of a few big choices even though that's the thing that we look back on we go oh I shouldn't have moved out of the state oh I shouldn't I got into that relationship oh I shouldn't have we look at the big things well I'm here to disrupt that mindset a bit your life experience right now is not so much a result of your big choices why those impact you it's really a result of a bunch of small little choices made consistently over a long period of time because those are the habits and the behaviors that you've gotten into so we can talk about willpower and how do I build willpower as if it's something that you can flex in the gym or something you can do crunches or abs or triceps and build but it's not the question you should ask the answer you should be seeking is what does it take to make my choices become an alignment with the life that I say I want to live now when you say choices it makes it really sobering because even when you choose to sit down on yourself it was a choice so I ask you in this moment what will it take you to decide to make the choice today don't even think about tomorrow don't think about next week but to make the choice today that's in alignment with your health goals make a choice today that's in alignment with your financial goals it's the small things it's the extra visit to Starbucks it's the extra biscuit it's the getting up early it's 10 more crunches it's doing squats every time you go to the bathroom at least that's what I do I do 10 I do 10 every time I go to the restroom I'm already there I'm just gonna keep on going just because I want to stay in alignment with my goal and my goal is to have a body that at least creates a double tank or or triple date maybe I don't know I wanted to create a body that is in alignment with my goal I want to be able to go paintballing with my nephews and my son the way I just did recently I want to be able to go jet skiing so when I look at my life in my lifestyle that I want to maintain it requires me to hike a little longer it requires me to eat more vegetables and protein it requires me my choice of how I want to live requires my alignment and what I put in my body or how I stay active in my body so when I date I don't I don't do dinner dates I'm not interested in doing dinner dates you want to date me let's go on a hike let's go skating ice skating roller skating is going to walk I want active dates in my dating experience because that's an alignment with my life's purpose so what are you choosing let's not even look at willpower let's look at choices because choice is something you can control in every single moment and the choice you made yesterday if it wasn't alignment with your greatest goal and your highest purpose okay yesterday yesterday make a new choice today you're not ever condemned or sentenced to making the same choice over and over and over again every day every moment you have a new opportunity to make a new choice rule number 23 stay in the moment I know as an entrepreneur you know there's so many years where I worked the day away the night away but way beyond working the damn the night away I worked memories away I worked parts of my life away I worked sacred moments away I want to warn you I want to warn you about working so hard to create an amazing future that you miss a million nails so busy creating that future where your children or your family or your parents or your significant other will have everything they want in the moment you're robbing them from the one thing they need you your time I know that our intentions are good and I say ours cuz I'm right there with you I would grind every day in my walk-in closet I transform my walk-in closet until my office I would walk my son to school come back put my head down my elbows up and I would come up for air just enough to walk the school pick him up bring him back fix him a fast lunch I go back down and then I come back up at dinnertime and then I go back down and I did it for a year after year after year after year and I looked up and I forgot the things I like I forgot the the excursions that I want to go and I forgot my favorite food cuz my favorite food was whatever was fastest and quickest and can get me back to work I thought that the sacrifice was okay that it's okay to sacrifice at this level and Wow there is a necessary sacrifice there is a necessary level of inconvenience there also is a required and oh by all means a desired amount of memories that you want to make sure you make now I wrote my book abundance now and I remember having conversations with the publishers and others about the now you know because whether it was abundant life or abundance and prosperity or abundance beyond the secret another title it was important for me to write abundance now because there's nothing more valuable than your now so yes I'm going to encourage you to work hard I'm going to encourage you to grind but I'm gonna remind you that when you're sitting in your rocking chair and there's nothing else for you to do you have played full-out you've made all the money you're going to make you've bought all the properties you're gonna buy you've done all the business you can do and you've attended all the meetings there are to attend and all that's left to do now is to sit inside your memories you're gonna want to have a lot of really great memories rule number 24 don't live under the label they so often we wear labels there's a label that's to me there's several labels I'm an african-american woman I'm a single mom you know I'm a CEO I'm a daughter there's so many labels to me but I don't live under the label I allow the label to exist but it doesn't define me and so I invite you if you're a woman you know there's so many men watching my channel I love you I want you to always come you're always welcome this is your home but to my sisters I invite you don't feel like life is harder for you because you're a woman don't feel like you have to work harder because your woman work hard just work hard I never looked at and while working harder as a woman and my working harder as a black person now are there inequities absolutely I am NOT blind to that but like I said in the previous episode energy grows or energy goes am I gonna give the inequities energy or I'm not going to give the possibilty energy and I'm not saying that everything's hunky-dory and all things are right no there are some wrongs that really need to be corrected but here's what I won't do I won't wear a label and walk in a room living under that label wondering how you're going to treat me because of that label people used to ask Lisa how did you get on the main stage with people like Tony Robbins and and Jack Canfield and people like you know they rattle off all these older white men are very successful white speakers in the industry and they say how'd you get on stage with them as a black woman or how did you get on stage with them as a woman and I go I didn't get on stage with him as a woman I got on stage with them as a badass speaker I got on stage with them as someone who can bring value to the audience I got on stage with them because I'm a change agent so can you live through the results that you produce in the world can you allow that to define you like this is the bag that you were given a woman a man black white Indian Asian the religion you were born into the economic status should grew up under all of those things are boxes that someone else said let's drop you in it and then you have to choose if you're gonna stay in it I am too big to be defined by a box any box any label of any size why don't you join that so don't be successful as a woman be successful don't be successful as a man be successful don't be loving and giving as a black person or white person or asian person be loving and giving just be and then be become contagious for someone else to want to be that way because they crossed your path rule number 25 do what you love to do so many times we've become so dutiful working and being diligent and being responsible and being on point that we forgot to do the things that bring us joy you know as I was developing my business I thought I was doing the thing that I love the most which was transforming lives and talking to teens and inspiring teens inspiring adults but I forgot that I love to dance I forgot that I love to hang out I forgot that I loved a date I forgot about so many things so our traded one love for all these other little things and I was being responsible as a mom responsible as a business owner responsible as a daughter and yet my norm have become filled with all the dutiful things in my life and not the things that necessarily brought me the most joy while my family brings me great joy my work bring brings me a great joy there was a part of me that was slowly dying away just because it was unfair so let's make a list of what do you love to do what do you love to do and then let's set an intention that don't try to do it all the time I think we go to the extremes once a week I'm gonna do this or you can't go from zero to once a week but start from zero from once a month and so your norm is whatever you decided to be you aren't the designer of your destiny and you are the author of your autobiography and no one can write your story but you life isn't happening to you you're co-creating you are the main character you you wrote the screenplay this is your life and how you look at it and the lenses that you look at your life through has everything to do with how much you enjoy it or not rule number 26 give yourself permission to fail so often you don't move forward because you're keeping such score from what didn't work in the past you are holding yourself hostage to 1997 to 2005 you're holding yourself hostage in love to that past relationship that didn't work or you're holding yourself in hostage in business to the money that you may have thought you wasted or the deal that went bad and so one of the ways I give myself permission for two two levels permission to have lived a life that has some beautiful experiences and some really tangy lessons I mean they're spicy they hurt they're painful when I give myself permission to have had that I also give myself permission to keep leaping give myself permission to keep dreaming give myself permission to keep learning how to get it right learning how to love the unlovable forgive what seems to be the unforgivable to leap again even while I still have a bandage on my chin from the time I fell I still get to lead someone invite you if you fall fall catch your breath put a bandage on it whether you fail financially you fail physically with health and wellness you felt spiritually you fell emotionally you felt in a relationship okay a part of flying is understanding what the distinction between flying and falling and the only way you understand the distinction is that you experience full life when you experience full life it's like this life isn't just flatline is not just like this you make your Heights feel better because you understand this was a failure and and what I mean by a failure is this taught me a lesson this stung this every single failure has a lesson in it to me a failure is a lesson wrapped in some sticky icky paper that stung that hurt and so give yourself permission give yourself permission to play big to be nervous to fall down to sit down for a minute just don't take up real estate in the sitting down don't take up real estate in the analyzing don't take some don't take up real estate in the preparation you've been getting prepared for a long time for something trust that you'll either fly if you leap right now or your fall if you leave right now and if you fly you'll understand what soaring feels like and if you fall you'll understand what getting up feels like either way you're okay that's how I play big with my knees knocking that's how I play big even when there's something in my in my consciousness reminding me of the last time I did something like this and it didn't quite work out and I still play big because I gave myself I give myself I constantly give myself permission to totally win and soar are totally falling it up and that way there's nothing to truly be afraid of remember this is a dialogue not a monologue which means we're in a dynamic conversation versus me just entertaining you rule number 27 ask better questions you know I've worked with thousands hundreds of thousands of people and Trust is always at the top of the list coach show me how to trust again coach what happens when I've been betrayed coach show me how to trust myself again Trust is a gift and when our trust is violated by any form we feel like a little bit of it's been chipped away but here's what I want to let you know Trust is something that can be restored and Trust is something that people can earn and Trust is something that you have enough of it always hurts my heart when I hear someone say I don't trust I don't trust because what I know is you're not trusting your future something or someone in your future because of something that happened in your past and in so many ways you're making your next pay for your ex you're making your future pay for your past you're making that unexperienced moment pay for that past experience more deserves to be loved and honored and celebrated to full capacity than you and if you don't stick your feet fully in then you can't fully feel submerged and the possibility is there a chance that this person that you're in this relationship with now this friendship without this business appointment with now this this community relationship now is there a chance that they may not play full out and honor you yes but here's what I know you don't want to do you don't want to have a of saying I played half way I stuck my toe in instead of jumping in so you want to do your due diligence one of the things I learned from my years of living trusting being betrayed hurting crying praying laughing getting back up and being committed to love again trust again was that any time that I felt betrayed anytime that I felt like someone didn't honor me there was a part that I played in that experience there was a better question that I could have asked sooner there was a clear line that I could have drawn way deeper in the sand there was a notice of intuition or there was a tap on the shoulder that I was the alarm clock was going off there was something that I could have seen said or done that I was a viable part of this equation now I own the part that's mine and I own the part that's not mine but how I bring that forward and how I recommend you bring it forward is ask better questions now you're not the same person you were three years ago five years ago ten years ago you're not the same person you were last year ask a better question and you'll get a better answer rule no 28 have a no matter what attitude it began to shift from me when I move from optional to non-negotiable when I move from I really really want this to hold on this is non-negotiable it's time for me to move from I'd like it to happen to no matter what it has to happen no matter what Jelani has to have the type of opportunities that normally an african-american male child from South Central LA whose father went to prison when he was 8 months old wouldn't have CI had to become non negotiable that Jelani has a breathtaking future I had to become non negotiables say no matter what that I was gonna get off government assistance and not only was I gonna get off government assistance that I was gonna create a healthy lifestyle around money finances and fiscal success and responsibilities I had to say no matter what around creating the life that I love where I can travel the world and inspire people I had to say no matter what around keeping my family intact and keeping my relationships intact I did that I had to say no matter what around my health and my wellness and bringing back physical prosperity to my life into my body nothing happened and so I went from optional to non-negotiable to no matter what when I came to no matter what that's when the mountain if it was in front of me it had to bow down and have to move and so I believe that you're in the exact same place that as you move into next year you're at a no matter what time you're at a non-negotiable time you're at a move every other option off the table rule number 29 fake it until you make it I know the whole fake it till you make it well I don't want to fake it forever I have no interest in faking it forever but I do want to play like I'm courageous enough until my courage appears I want to pretend like I'm not afraid until I'm not afraid I want to fake like I know how to do this business I know how to surrender to this love and while pursuing the ability to know how to do this business pursue the understanding of knowing how to surrender to love I don't think there's a place in your life that when you're playing bigger than you've played before that you won't feel nervous you won't feel a little afraid and at times you won't have a sense of the imposter syndrome what if what if you're not an imposter and the career you're in you're not an imposter in the relationship you're not imposter and the entrepreneurial business what if what if you're just learning what if you visualize the seven-foot-tall you and the five eight six one six two five two version of you is still tippy-toe undergrow to that individual rule number 38 your action you are not a victim to anything there is not something that's been bestowed upon your family that generationally has to occur over and over and over again there are habits there are awareness and there are actions and when you change your habits expand your awareness and elevate your action you can change a curse into a blessing rule number 31 take baby steps you're gonna play big say big you're gonna play huge say huge you're gonna play ginormous say ginormous but first take baby steps you gonna eat the elephant but take one small bite first chew it good right we want so much so fast my grandmother says baby she starts every sentence with baby I'm sure it's because she cannot remember all of our names she said baby the best things you'll ever have from Grandma will never come from the microwave they always come from the oven and I was like I think some somehow she's trying to give me a lesson here and I realized that the best things that you're gonna create are gonna take time build it on cement not sinking saying you're gonna get tons and tons and tons of tools here and you're gonna want to fast forward when you fast forward you're building on Plexiglas you've been on styrofoam you've been on wood you want to build it on semen your dream is important enough to outlive you yes yes and so I realized that that you can't Google download resiliency you can't Google download tenacity you can't Google download forgiveness there are some of the best qualities and characteristics that's gonna take you a long way that you need to invest time in and energy in and intention in you don't just get patience I want patience I'm waiting for pick somebody's gonna piss you off tomorrow then now you get to test of your patience I realized I realized that as I wanted to develop me I have to be willing to climb and I wanted to get to the top and there's no elevator to the top I got to do my squats I got to work on my quads and my hamstrings and my calves cuz I gotta climb to the top we got a Klein rule number 32 change your relationship with fear so many people look at fear or even doubt but they look at fear as if it's the emotional enemy you know it's the enemy emotion like oh I can deal with compassion I can do it love I can do it understanding but when fear comes oh my god bad thing No first of all change your relationship to fear I've said this before fear is not the enemy the feeling of fear is just like any other emotion fear is actually informing you fear is telling you that you need to do something either do more research get some support get some insight study a little more slow down fear is actually feeding you so then ask yourself the question what do I need to do think or go get to dissipate this fear because remember fear is fear becomes present when you've made up something that could happen in the future and it makes you afraid now like oh my god I'm afraid I can get hurt in this relationship oh my god I'm afraid I'll lose my money well you're just projecting a story that you made up then back into that fear go okay wait then what do I need to do to minimize the fear that I might get hurt what do I need to do to minimize the fear that I might lose my money what do I need to do of course you can't a 100% eliminate the possibility but you can greatly reduce the chances by asking what am i afraid of what am i afraid that's gonna happen and then secondly recognize that fear doesn't mean stop people think oh I'm afraid let me stop okay that's a choice to stop fear doesn't necessarily mean stop fear might mean proceed with caution or proceed with more strategy fear does it whenever I'm feeling fear it doesn't tell me why don't you think now - stop with the fear I do think to slow down go get some help go get some inside voice my fear so that it's not just all in my head recognize that fear is going to come in when you're playing bigger than you've ever played before I say if your knees aren't knocking and your teeth are chattering just a little at least then you're not playing big enough the bigger you play the more you're gonna feel your knees knock and you don't hear your teeth chatter and I'm always playing big I'm always filling my knees knock and I'm always hearing my teeth chatter but I've created a relationship with that fear to go hold on let's say fears right here fear what are you telling me because fear really is it's it's a story it's it's something you think could happen and could it happen yeah but could it not happen yeah so don't try to outrun fear don't try to outrun doubt and definitely don't wait into doubt and fear are gone before you move find out what doubt and fear needs to dissipate into the nothingness that it always was what does it need and then understand that action brings clarity so the more you move forward the more action you're in the more clarity you get because action breeds clarity and clarity comes with action so many times just sitting on the sidelines waiting waiting to get completely clear before you take any action and clarity is waiting for you to get an action to create clarity so be willing be willing to play full out a little nervous rule number 33 accept yourself I remember there was a time in my life when all I wanted was for people to accept me but I realized that I needed them to accept me and love me because I wasn't really accepting Lisa I wasn't really loving Lisa to my fullest so while today I don't invite you to not care if people reject you I am inviting you to if you fully love and show up for you first then you're less impacted you're less disrupted when someone doesn't embrace you the way you believe you should be embraced so you I realize that we're we're ironed for others iron sharpens iron we're also triggers for others there's a thousand reasons why someone might reject you my grandmother says man's rejection is God's protection so not everyone that's in your space should be in your space and sometimes people have to opt out on your behalf to help you out how many times have you been in a friendship or relationship and it ended and maybe not immediately after it ended but somewhere in the next 30 60 90 days a year maybe two years you took a deep breath ah [Music] I actually feel more relief that that relationship is transition where there's a relationship with a job a friend an ex whatever so while we don't want to have rejection our life I say all rejection isn't bad and sometimes it's not rejection is simply transition it's simply completion you know I realize that I wanted everyone to love me but when I began to love Lisa I stopped having to manage or having the desire to manage how other people like me your job is to wake up each day and like you rule number 34 be in a state of cognitive dissonance abundant thinkers keep themselves in a constant state of cognitive dissonance write that down abundant thinkers keep themselves in a constant state a constant state of cognitive dissonance your creative spell it any way you want now what is cognitive dissonance cognitive dissonance is you have literally thought about a version of yourself that you're not currently living right now meaning the thought that you have of yourself your behaviors are not congruent with so your mind becomes disrupted your mind says wait a minute you're seeing me here but my behaviors aren't here and when you keep yourself in a constant state your mind begins to influence your behaviors to be congruent with your thoughts ooh next level cognitive dissonance abundant thinkers that's why he went out to the ocean that's why he's up on stage because constantly seeing himself further than what his behaviors want to really do and then when he does it now I got that down constantly now it's being grateful for your now yes yes being grateful for your now but clearly seeing where you're going and not resting until you get there rule number 35 practice gratitude I start every day with 25 things that I'm grateful for and all 25 things have to cost $25 or less so I can't be grateful for my car grateful for my home while I can be grateful during this exercise I'm grateful for the time that I spent cooking him in the kitchen with my son this weekend I'm grateful for the walks that my grandmother takes me on I used to say I take her on walks then I realized she was educating me that she takes me on walks I'm grateful for the fact that I still dance with my daddy I'm grateful for the moments my nephew climbs in my bed so we can watch our latest greatest movie together I'm grateful for mustard man and garlic girl in the kitchen cooking that's my son and I every single thing that I find gratitude for is something that helps to make me who I am and I got to tell you something happens when you live Park and stay cement it in gratitude I call that if your dream is the seed then gratitude is the fertilizer and so gratitude constant gratitude recognizing that you are a servant leader with a servant's heart and when you say the word servant servant and ego just don't go together servant is too but not a servant from a peasant mindset but a servant from the place where you say I choose to leave from behind I choose to use my greatness and my life to elevate you I choose to own my life but hand it over to anyone who might need it in the moment if you stay rooted in that it's a daily thing so I recommend that you find the daily regimen that keeps you steeped in gratitude a daily regimen that has you owned your greatness where there's the reminder of the things I've just said write the mantras out post them on your mirror and recite them each day I live by mantras I live by affirmations I designed and begin to own who I was as a woman because I kept reminding myself daily who I could become and then one day I want to remind myself and it's stuck I didn't need the reminder and so I start to remind myself of something else and I kept doing that daily daily and then one day I want to remind myself in it stuck and so remind yourself of the woman the man you're becoming write it down write the mantra down I'm a servant leader grateful for service I own my brilliance unapologetically I walk in a room and light it up with a natural glow I share my life with others with grace and ease you can choose any of these mantras you can have them all rule number 36 recognize the cost of your actions so many times people look at the habits that they have such as procrastination and asked why do I procrastinate well I pose that question back to you ask yourself what's the benefit because there's a benefit that you're getting out of it so whether you believe that last minute throws you inside of an energy source because that's what I used to think I spent last minute I'm more creative well the truth is you're not more creative last minute the truth is that when you wait to the last minute you're increasing your stress level you're bringing down your joy you're eliminating peace of mind when you understand the cost procrastination is a word and the challenge is that procrastination is so universally accepted it's like fear and stress like I'm so stressed out and it's become such our norm that it's okay well ask yourself the question what's the price that I pay cuz I believe any behavior that you don't want any longer the way that the catalysts of change is recognizing the price because we're high producers we can still get it done inside of procrastinating we can still get it done but if you ever take a moment to stop and ask yourself an answer what's the cost of me procrastinating and you can do that for everything but we're focused on procrastination now what's the cost of me procrastinating let's go down that list I mean you procrastinate it costs you clear organizational time because now you're rushing when you procrastinate it cost you peace of mind when you procrastinate you're now thrown in urgency urgency increases your stress urgency is known to increase your stress if you live in urgency you literally are two three times more likely to have a heart attack I hear not confirm but that's what I heard so if you live in this pace of urgency all the time because of a behavior that you can modify think about it how are we for moving a bully mobile how are we brilliant and operating in something we can control there's so many things that you can't control procrastination is something that you can go draw rule number 37 have patience patience is that thing that you know all of us want but we don't know how to get the patience to get it it's that it's that gift in that character that's only developed in the discomfort of the act of patience itself you know I'm going to share a couple of stories with you because I have had more bouts with being impatient than anything to the point now that I think one of the one of the characters that's the most developed in me is the character of patience I recognize that if not now it will happen but mine now does not mean never minds when it's supposed to happen and my job is to stay in action you know I was sitting in the van on my way to a good friend's house I was sitting in the van with many other teachers from the secret way back in 2008 and many many things were happening and a lot of success was going on but I was still struggling so on the outside I had notoriety I was in the secret we have been on Oprah and so many things were happening but on the inside personally I was still trying to figure out how to pay my car note I was still trying to figure out how to you know take care of my son while I'm on the road I still had all these challenges that really did not make me feel like I was successful and I felt like I couldn't work another hour of the day I couldn't put forth any more energy I couldn't do anything else and I've been doing it so long I've been grinding so long you might know what I what that looks like I was sitting in a van on my way to John Gray's house a minute from Mars myrfor mean it's a good friend of mine and it was so many of us in the van and I remember looking over at my friend John Assaraf and I asked I said John why doesn't have to be so hard why do I have why is it taking so long I feel like I've been at this forever and I don't see any result I'm tired I'm exhausted I feel like I'm about to lose faith in this dream and John turned to me and he said something that just shifted everything for me and I hope it does the same for you he looked at Manny said Lisa you cannot plant your seeds and reap your harvest and the same season rule number 38 and Hank's your enrichment I'm only gonna go as far as you think you're worthy I can push you can push you can have the greatest product but if you don't feel worthy you will work hard to sabotage that relationship you don't know you don't know you're doing you think these are the things I need and you're driving that guy away you're driving that woman away because your self-worth says they weren't gonna stay forever anyway or I'm self-worth around money you have a cat that you feel like you're worthy of a million dollars you will always get to 999 thousand and you will stop because your self-worth says it what's a good exercise or process that we can follow on a daily basis maybe something simple to enhance our enrichment absolutely worthiness absolutely I did this for six months every single day right after I brush my teeth and it's the ICU exercise and you get in the mirror now it is not necessarily simple because because you dealing with yourself of course and as complicated as you are will be the degree economic summit of Jebel mechanics are yes I appreciate that distinction um you get in the mirror and you complete three different sentences you want to write this down the first sentence you look at yourself and you say your name so you would say Louis and you complete this as I'm proud that you and find seven different things every day to celebrate yourself for seven different each day you can do the same thing you did the day before but each day do seven different things to be proud of the second sentence is gonna knock you down a little bit it's gonna come from your gut Louis I forgive you for and cut the shackles to blame shame guilt regret and anger in that sentence you cut those five shackles not the first day maybe not the third day but by the 21st day by the thirteenth day you'll feel some relief so Louis I forgive you for and go back five years 15 years 20 years do that forgive you fit for that thing don't nobody know about but you go ahead and cut those shackles because if you can still think about it is still in your energy space and then the third sentence is Louis I commit to you that before you make a commitment to anybody else throughout your day you make seven commitments to you so the first sentence I'm proud that you you're celebrating yourself first we are under celebrate as a society we look for acknowledgment they enter they interviewed a hundred executives that all made over a quarter of a million dollars and said would you like a five percent raise next year or would you rather be told thank you more often 100 percent 100 percent said keep your money I'd rather hear thank you so we're under celebrated but first celebrate you be the example when I was on Oprah when she said what do you do I said I recognize that I'm the example of how the rest of the world is supposed to treat me and it's my job to give the world the best example of how I like to be treated right so celebrate yourself forgive yourself cut the shackles and then commit to yourself before you commit to anyone else that right there powerful that right there will begin to fill your cup up mmm to get to your sausage I love that rule number 39 exercise your know our desire to say yes to everyone really is less about them and more about our need to be approved our need to be perceived loving kind and generous now I know that might be hard to hear but when you don't have the ability to say no it really isn't about the people that you're saying no to it's about you not wanting to draw healthy boundary not wanting to turn someone away not wanting to risk the fact that you might not make someone happy with you in the moment go underneath that and say why am I having that challenge the answer to that is the core of why you don't want to say no because I want to be liked and loved all the time because I don't want to experience rejection because I want people to see me as a giving loving person because because because because now none of those are wrong but can you already know that about yourself and if you know you're loving if you know you're kind if you know you're giving if you know that you're generous then you can say healthy yeses when you need to say yes and you can say i healthy know when you need to say no my grandmother says if you want your yes to have the most value possible then sweetie you need to learn how to massage you know because if you keep telling everyone yes you actually diminish the value of your yes because I'm not grateful that you said yes as a matter of fact I expected you to say yes why because you always say yes rule number 40 fund your dream in that year when I was really broke and I was really broken I was working at LA Unified School District I was miserable I was miserable because I wasn't living in my dream I was just doing a J OB and then one day I said well what what do I need to do I I need to I need to buy my freedom that's not either don't hate to buy her freedom well I don't know about behind my freedom I don't know about buying I don't know about having money saved up my family didn't have money saved up my mother used to tell me all this money is burning my pocket so I know two things about money is hot and we can't keep it long we'd always have one week where we had all the food in the refrigerator and then one week where we were the refrigerator was empty right come on come on some of you guys know about that to this day I spent so much money on girls you guys oh my god it's like I'm feeding like a family of ten because I'm so afraid of anybody ever being in my house and being hungry and so I I wrote a check to myself Jelani was three a hundred and ten dollars I took it to the bank Wells Fargo I started a new account the next check I wrote a hundred and twenty five dollars and just like the first check I put in the minimum line funding my dream I wasn't even clear what the dream was but I knew there was something in my belly who in this room know you got something in your belly it's something I'm not even clear about it I don't know how clear you are but I wasn't clear about it but I knew there was a calling on my life greater than working for LA Unified School District and no disrespect to LA Unified School get just wasn't my destiny I wrote another check in two weeks a hundred and forty six dollars funding my dream now I started mailing the checks in because I didn't want to see my balance because I don't want to go shopping cuz I you gonna repeat what you learned right until you decide to not repeat what you learned so I mailed the check in and I wrote another check and I wrote another check if every check I wrote I made sure it was five percent more than the first check the net the previous check I sold my Altima I had a car note so multiple bought a clunker cuz it hadn't have a car note now I can write a bigger check son in my dream I moved out of my three-bedroom three bed three bath house and moved in became a roommate with my friend who smoked I put towels at the base of the door so the smoke wouldn't come to the door I was willing to be inconvenienced are you I'm just saying I'm just I'm just showing you the story I just took charge I just gave you I stopped getting my hair done that was when I started going natural I stopped going out I stopped going out dancing I stopped going out to dinners my family didn't know what was going on they thought oh my god you know is La she's on drugs but she's not losing weight so maybe not I don't know what's going on I kept writing bigger checks to myself $900 $900 I mailed it to Wells Fargo funding my dream $1100 melted to Wells Fargo funding my dream I still wasn't clear what the dream was I just knew I had one and it was being born through me and I needed to give it a chance that's all I knew you don't have to see 2,000 feet in front of you just see 200 and run to the 200 don't have to see it all three and a half years later I've written a check to myself every two weeks for three and a half years I didn't go out for three and a half years I didn't go dance and I get to digging in my hair and I did get my nails done for three and a half years are you willing to be inconvenience for your conviction I walk in to Wells Fargo three and a half years later and I said hi god bless you hi my name is Lisa nickel she was oh my god you're the funding my dream lady I was like yeah I guess I am and all of a sudden all the tellers came running around the manager came they're like oh my god okay oh my god we have been wondering we all got the same question y'all know the questions right what's your dream I was like oh I'm not sure but I know that it includes inspiring people having people believe in themselves again teaching them how to get back up when they've been knocked down yep having to be willing to give them self a thousand second chances every time they get to 999 press reset I'm not sure what its gonna look like but it's just gonna help people I thought I came to check my balance I've been writing a few checks to you guys and say yes you've been writing a lot I said I just want to check my bounces you don't know your bounces - no I got this really big stack of summary bank statements at home cuz my momma said money burns her pocket is not a one to burn my pocket I wanted to pay for my freedom I said I just came to see what my balance was if I had enough to fund my dream as it gets clearer she wrote it down everyone's excited she wrote it down turned it around to me I looked at it I said oh no my name is Lisa Shante Nichols and my social security no I said that is not my money and I am NOT taking that money because you're probably gonna want it back so just fix that error right now and they looked at me I said you really don't think that's yours I said no my family's never had $5,000 in the bank or $10,000 in the bank that's sixty-two thousand five hundred dollars in the bank they said Miss Nichols and everyone teared up the manager teared up the tellers teared up they said Miss Nichols whatever your dream is I think you can fund it now I looked at my son Jelani who now is five or six I said jeylani our lifes are gonna be a little different now baby Jelani says yeah mommy can't we can't we now go to McDonald's see for three years I've been telling you Lani I'll make you a Big Mac mama makes Big Macs better than McDonald's and so began with a hundred and ten dollar check so I don't know what yours is I don't know what your radical looks like for some of you your radical was coming here right yes yes and this is the beginning this is the beginning of your radical this is the this is the bet the next best step this is the first step and so I just stopped by to let you know you're on the right path and and as you ramped up has you ramped up you're going to have questions you're gonna be afraid I do more things afraid now than I do fearless cuz the bigger you play the bigger your breakdown every single one of my errors in the last five years have cost me six figures like every single one every single one of my errors has required me to call an attorney like they're just big one cuz I'm playing big I'm playing big so be willing to go to the edge and this is where you are here be willing to go to the edge and not just lean over and feel the breeze and watch the people jump and watch them soar and look through the windows at all the people were living great lies don't just go to the edge and feel it be willing to lean fill your heartbeat fill it that let you know you're alive they'll let you know you're okay fear fuels you fear lets you know go get more information fear let you know step below later and study fear let you know get up a little earlier fear let you know ask for help fear is informing you it's not stopping you it's just another emotion like love and compassion and gratitude we just made it paralyze us see fear doesn't stop me fear informs me and when you get intimately connected with the fear I feel it and I'm moving forward anyway I feel it and I'm gonna love anyway I feel it and I'm gonna invest in me anyway I feel it and I'm gonna show up and play anyway when you get connected with fear it becomes your best friend and when you spend on the edge you feel the breeze you feel the fear and you leap anyway rule number 41 be non-negotiable I wasn't supposed to be here by many people standard I wasn't supposed to be here I wasn't qualified to be here see I was that woman on government's assistance in 1994 I was that woman on WIC women infant and children in 1994 I was there couldn't afford to put pampers on my son so I'll wrap them in a towel for two days in 1995 I'm that woman so what would get me to being a best selling author times seven books running a multi-million dollar company having my company go public two years ago and going from warefare to Wall Street it would simply be being non-negotiable so I just stopped by to check in if you're willing to be non-negotiable if you're willing to stop asking the world for permission to be amazing to be brilliant to be divine stop asking the world for permission and begin today to give the world notice see ajit says something's gonna happen to you while you're here and I love that have an expectation on your life you didn't come here for them to do you okay oh geez I'm here do me know this is your life your opportunity you're brilliant see the doors have been open and now you dance to your rhythm sing to your song you play to your tune and all you need to do is pick up a little bit here and pick up a little bit there and then take radical action and become non-negotiable abundant thinkers live in non-negotiable average thinkers live an optional mmm average thinkers if I really would love to have a new business but your behaviors are not congruent what'd you say you would love when you move from optional to non-negotiable you slit you slit every other option off the table I wasn't interviewed a hundred and fifty five times in five months and the number-one question I was asked was Lisa how did you go from public assistance to go in public how did you go from welfare to Wall Street how did you build a multi-million dollar business how did you do it and I look I said I just slit every other option off the table like I really did I slit every other option said there was no other option burn the ship burn the ships don't go back there was no there was no other option I didn't even I didn't have a plan B it's a capital A our baby dam a but is a if now or later but i'ma get it once you get to that place something happens the universe aligns with you because you're so intentional rule number 42 ignore what others think so many people ask me on so many different platforms how do I find the courage to dot dot dot dot dot as if courage is something outside of you you don't look under the pillow at home you don't look under your bed you don't look in the glove compartment of your car and go find courage so let me just start off with saying you don't find courage you cannot find courage you choose to not allow the fear to manage your choices so I know that sounds like that's just like all want want Lisa but I'm gonna always tell you the truth if I told you how to find something that means that you don't have it already I'm not going to tell you how to find something that's not lost the the reality is when you are more consumed with what other people's perception of you then you are with your own truth you will always feel like you're not enough you will always feel like you're not enough because no matter how far you come no matter how far you go someone will always believe that there's further that you can go which they're true it's truth so how do you how do you manage or how do you have the courage to have transformation without getting consumed with other people's thoughts of your perception of you you become more committed to your own transformation than you are to managing people's perception of your life you become more committed to the joy that's your birthright that you know is your birthright then you are trying to manage people's perception rule number 43 celebrate yourself you know when I talk about celebrating the journey that's a that has many layers to it celebrating the journey one means don't wait until you've arrived somewhere to celebrate yourself that's number one it means that you're always going to be in pursuit of something so don't wait to you arrive to acknowledge yourself don't wait to you arrive arrive because I still haven't arrived like we don't arrive anywhere like if you are waiting to arrive somewhere before you celebrate you oh my god it's gonna be a long long life celebrating yourself along the way inside the journey it is it is as big as allowing others to celebrate your greatness how many times do we minimize someone else's acknowledgment of us you know I hear it's so many I used to do it all the time to people say oh my god you're so great no no no I was no no no no like you want them to run past the compliment like you feel uncomfortable well hold on celebrating yourself along the way inside the journey is allowing people to acknowledge you rule number 44 set quarterly goals I like to set quarterly goals instead of annual goals I like to make them a bit more bite-sized now i start with a big bodacious scary hairy goal right then I immediately release that goal and chunk it down into four smaller goals that are bite-sized digestible and palatable I can measure them every 90 days you want to be able to measure write this down you want to be able to measure your actions your goals and your milestones every 90 days when you do that it allows you to see how close on path you are have you exceeded your own expectation if you have a goal that this year I want to make an additional forty five thousand dollars all I make an additional hundred thousand dollars and you get to the first quarter and you're thirty thousand dollars in you know you're on path however if you have the goal over the year I want to make an additional hundred thousand dollars and you get to the end of the first quarter and you're at ten thousand dollars in additional revenue you know you need to do something you know you need to ramp up or you know that this next season this next time I need to make sure that I'm doubling up on my revenue to hit that goal versus getting to November and realizing that your own at $35,000 towards your hundred thousand dollar additional revenue goal whatever your goal is whether it's a hundred thousand or where there's ten thousand or where there's a million dollars in addition or whether it's new relationships or whether it's a social media rule number 45 have unwavering confidence I get kicked out of college I got kicked out of college my second year because I didn't want to continue to run track I took my team undefeated the first year Wow and they went from not having won a track meet in two years at all to going undefeated in two in one year you could attribute what allowed you to lead the team to do that and one or two insights what would it be I had unwavering confidence did you cultivate that or was it natural was it cultivated at home or was it personally cultivated my dad and my mom they they I don't know if he was brainwashed or encouraged me conquering anything yeah like bait bait I wasn't opposition didn't scare me it's never half scared me like I don't look at how how big the mountain is if I can climb it I go are we gonna climb it and what do we need to climb that size mountain you know measure if I can do something based on the size of the opposition you decide we're gonna do it and then decide what to do for that particular scenario very different strategy rule number 46 act on your ideas if you have a lot of ideas a lot of things that you want to do a lot of write them out and I make columns for each one so I don't put them all together because they're each on almost like on separate islands which is why you feel so fragmented or overwhelmed or whatever that might be so I write up make columns and then I just put the idea at the top of the column and I just write out everything that I have in my head up up the idea until I feel like oh okay I got that out once I have them out then I attach a time line to what I'm gonna start it and ideally complete it now let's be clear the timeline of when you're gonna start and complete are going to move so don't get stressed out about the timeline you made it up I'm gonna say that again when you create a timeline you made it up which means you get to modify what you made up at any given time but I give myself a start and a completion date now here's the key thing there are things that I give a start date to that I'm not even going to start for two years for 18 months matter of fact I'll do like let's say I'm in the second quarter of this year I'll put in one of those columns my start date is the second quarter of next year so I know I'm gonna get to it I know I'm gonna get to it it's called what am i doing now and what am I not doing now but I'm doing it I'm just not doing it now oh man I'm gonna tell you don't sleep on that little nugget right there I learned that from my coach Suzy Carter that there's you're doing now and then there's you're doing but not now so it's on the calendar everything that you're doing should be on the calendar there's the doing now it has a place on the calendar that you're actively in and then there's a doing not now because it's on the calendar so I have some great projects I'm excited about I don't start them for like another ten months and then I put all my other projects on it from these columns inside of these current ten months and so now you are doing it because you have a start date but you're not overwhelmed with it because it's not all vying for your spacing your attention in the now rule number 47 on your brilliance how can you stay humble you know as you amass more success how can you stay humble while owning your brilliance I believe that there's two very separate intentions running here number one on your brilliance don't question it you don't have to grand eyes it you don't have to you don't have to highlight it you don't have to have your brilliance and your talent spew over onto other people and and and minimize their greatness when you live in your light you don't have to promote it or diminish it you simply live in it I noticed a lot of times when people are successful they have a tendency to want to remind you that they are successful they remind you in the way they speak to you they remind you in the fact that they're always coaching you they remind you whatever however the status thing that they do to me that's not owning your brilliance or your success that's trying to prove it that's trying to remind you of it and a lot of times people want to remind you or prove to you something when they're still wondering if it's true so number one on your light unapologetically I don't try to dim your light nor should you try to turn it up just let it be rise the tie from who you're being rise the tie from your service when I say nor should you try to turn it up that's not saying don't tap until the greatest version of you that means don't artificially try to turn it up so everyone in the room knows that you're great you don't have to do that you don't have to say it you don't have to announce it you don't have to try to remind me of it just be it but by the same token don't try to hide it rule number 48 practice active self-care practice active self-care that means you're not talking about the spa that you want to go to you're not talking about the nap that you need to take you're not talking about the weekend you want to get away - you're actually doing it so I want you to take a moment to reflect and identify what rejuvenates you now they're not it's not always something huge something big something ginormous but it's something that allows you to write this down recalibrate your energy what keeps your energy and come so many times we're working out of anxiety need or stress stress is the number one killers the number one robber of life and joy what do we do actively what do you do actively that will rejuvenate you what's available to you I want you to write down a strategy about how and when you'll make time for self-care during this busy time rule number 49 cut away the weeds I make the best decision I could based on what I knew in that moment and when I know more I do more when I know better I do better and I'm going to love me in every moment when I look back at the decisions I made ten years ago some of the people I dated some of the money I've Benten what i spent money on some of the places I went I go what was I thinking and the answer is I was I've made decisions based on what I knew at that time I'm outside now and you can hear the Gartner's in the background they're cutting away trees they're cutting away dead limbs they're cutting away old grass they're there they're there they're mining the weeds and pulling things out just like we should do in our lives and some of those things that we should take away are the the fear of people's thoughts of us and what those thoughts are going to show up as in our lives listen what I know I love the sound of all the machinery in the background because that reminds me to trim away to cut away allows the space for new things to grow so sometimes you have to cut away the need to be liked by everybody the need to manage everyone else's perceptions and thoughts of you you have to cut it away like those gardeners are cutting away dead leaves like those gardeners are cutting away the weeds the things that grow in between the beautiful grass and between the beautiful flowers they're things growing up inside that's what's happening in the middle of your transformation other people's thoughts other people's inconvenience if you want to hold people want to hold you hostage to the person they've always known you to be you who what are these new thoughts you have what are these the things you're doing we don't know you this way go back to the old you know be more committed to the you that you're becoming then you are to the you that they're familiar with and rule number 50 the last time before a very special bonus clip is manage your relationships well over the years I've had to learn how to disconnect myself from people how to pull away how to move on without what I call Benihana in people now I don't know if you remember but if you ever go to a Benihana restaurant they have those sharp knives and they kind of go and you don't even know that the zucchini is like all diced up until they move it and then everything is kind of part well I used to have a habit of like cutting people off so well so fast that I felt like I've been haunted them like they didn't know they were like all slice and dice until they went to walk away and their hand fell off and then their arms fell off and I over the years I had to learn how do I complete by the way I would say don't break up with people don't break away from people don't stop being their friends a better mindset is recognized when the relationship is just complete now I say completes a complete with me when I say complete that means the relationship has had every experience that it needs to have you've done everything you need to do and it's just complete so you don't have to make people wrong that was a big lesson for me because we're taught that in order for relationships to end someone's brains need to be splattered on the ceiling well the older wiser me recognizes that I can end relationships from people who I've outgrown our people who might be toxic or people are just out of fit for me and also leave their dignity intact g-word I want you to write that down type that in chat because there is a way that you can complete with people notice I'm using these key words with you you can complete with people meaning every experience that we need to have we've had and now I'm complete that you can do that and leave their dignity intact you can say this relationship has run its course you don't have to outline everything that's not working because you know when we outline things that are not working all we're doing is making people wrong so let me just say the way you complete a relationship is to first check your ego because your ego our ladies your she go woo they will get in the way and what you want to do is point point point point point I'm done with you because of this this and this and we all know when you point one finger over there the three fingers point back at you we've all heard it now I've got a special bonus gift from Lisa on how to fail for that enjoy but before that is some for the three-point landing questions let's go from just watching the video to taking action here we go question number one what relationships do you need to manage better question number two how can you better own your brilliance and question number three what baby-step can you take towards your goals today you know so often people are consumed with fear the fear of judgment that's a huge one the fear of failure what happens if it doesn't work the fear of success what happens if it does work and people see me like they really see me for who I am what happens if I get hurt in a relationship like there's so many what is but what happens when you what if yourself all over yourself you never think about the what if it works what if what if it has just just as much chance at working as it doesn't not working and what if you redefine what we call failure and in my language I love it in the book abundance now that I wrote and many of you have read it I talked about you can fail all day long just fail forward the only distinction between a bunch of really successful individuals and a bunch of individuals really wanting success is that the successful individuals we're willing to fail and they did fail they just failed forward some of my best lessons are born out of my failures literally to this day and my failures these days cost six figures or more but I'm willing to do that because I want the lesson or the outcome and if you allow a failure to feed your futures what I call feeding your future meaning what are the two things that I did really well and what's the one area that I can improve upon or what's the three things I did really well and what are the two areas that I can improve upon and then take those two things and pull those that lesson forward or take the three things that you did well and make sure you don't lose those to me the tragedy the tragedy of when something doesn't go the way you thought is when you only beat yourself up from it you never ever look at what did I do well and where can I improve if you want Lisa Nichols top five pieces of life-changing advice check out the video right there next to me I think you'll enjoy it continue to believe and I'll see you there I'm an average ordinary woman who chose every day to make one more extraordinary decision every single failure has a lesson in it

Channel: Evan Carmichael

Views: 255,542

Keywords: entrepreneur, yt:cc=on, change your relationship with fear - lisa nichols, lisa nichols, best of lisa nichols, how to stop being fearful, lisa nichols motivation, lisa nichols advice, success advice, success motivation, lisa nichols interview, lisa nichols speech, motivational speaker, personal development, entrepreneurship, entrepreneur advice, how to take action turn fear into fuel and step into your purpose

Id: HTNj5tWp44I

Length: 122min 9sec (7329 seconds)

Published: Fri Jul 05 2019