Lisa Nichols on The Key to Abundance and Success - with Lewis Howes

[Music] welcome everyone to the school greatest podcast very excited about our guest today Lisa Nichols thanks so much for being here you've got a new book out I'm sure to show to the camera a quick make sure you guys check this book out we'll have it linked up it's called abundance now amplify your life and achieve prosperity today and I'm very excited about this I was just going through it and I love your message I love your insights I love your wisdom and I also love your story and I want to dive into it before we begin the process of how the abundant because you didn't start out abundant right well we're and you're also a track star from what our agent tells no no that that's like back in the country not in the book he's like you get to talk about your track days I was the Kathleen All American state champion there you go all right what events I ran the 110 and the 330 low hurdles Wow the 4 by 400 4 by 100 relay in the open quarter okay cool what was your favorite event the 330 law hurdles when I held the record and my high school just doesn't got to say for the 330 law hurdles for 18 years get a girl I found out in the 15th year that I held the record so I won't use a bracket okay cool I'm curious now growing up who was the most influential person in your life and what was the biggest lesson you remember them teaching you my grandmother my father's mother my grandmother Bernice and she taught me that she said she prophesied over my life meaning she spoke life into me when I didn't see it for myself and she said several things but one of the key things was she said baby as you grow up you're going to impact lives and they're gonna write about you I have no idea how she knew and many people are gonna talk about you she said do yourself a favor take everything they've written about you and put it in a file cabinet don't read it she said and when you get old in my age sitting your favorite rocking chair grab a cup of tea and be entertained by who they thought you were while all the time you knew who's you were and she just instilled this sense of humility like you are a servant leader and I don't care what they call you expert guru master you are a servant leader you remember that because they'll say a lot of things and so she has been my anchor you know she's long since deceased but she's been my anchor and that was just one of the most powerful things and then she also said baby you can get all the knowledge in the world she said but only time will give you the wisdom that I have it's like whoa I was like I think she'd just crumble check me you know and so I still to this day with all the knowledge that I've acquired from great books like yours and great books like Steven Covey's and great book from Phil Jackson eleven rings and Howard Schultz onward you know all these great pieces of work I still sit at the feet of seniors I still sit my spiritual mentor I sit at her feet once a quarter I sit at people's feet when they're 20 years older than me or more mmm because they have something I don't have which is wisdom time yeah so she anchored me in two things which both leave me in humility well okay what's the wisdom you have from all your time so far don't count the number of times you've been knocked down get attached to the number of times you get up all right I'm gonna get these two bombs all dead right right boom boom boom boom I love it I'm curious now cuz you didn't start out you know with a lot of money with a lot of abundance mindset did you right it wasn't just not a lot of money you know it's one thing to be fiscally broke it's another thing to be emotionally broken two very different things and I was broke and broken and in 1994 I had to go get on government assistance just to feed my newborn baby I had to get on WIC women infant and children and I still say it and you know I said often I'm interviewed I was interviewed 155 times in five months for my previous book no matter what and it still hits me in the same place I I was ashamed to stand in line with all the other mothers some fathers to get free butter free cheese free milk free pasta but at the same time I was grateful that there was such a service to hell people like me that I knew this wasn't where I was going to stay right but it was where I was in that moment I wasn't committed to take up real estate there but it was my current address and broken and broken it kind of hit the eye I felt like I hit the bottom you sometimes you feel you're back on the bottom like I think that's the bottom right mind there's always a deep right so when I was getting when I was getting food stamps I thought I was at the bottom mm-hmm and then but you were right I went to the ATM I ran out of Pampers for my son Jelani and I went to the ATM to get money to go buy pampers and it said insufficient funds and I had 11 dollars and 42 cents in the bank what's the minimum you take out 20 bucks exactly you need 20 in to get 20 hours and I had 11 dollars and 42 cents and so I went home and I had to wrap my son Jelani for two days in a series of different tiles that that was my rock-bottom and that was because as a parent all you want to do is provide that's it it's simple I just want to provide safety and food for my baby somebody else was provided my food and I didn't even have pampers and I remember on the second day of wrapping my son in the towel Lois I put my hand over his stomach and I said don't worry Jelani what tears streaming down my face I said don't worry son mommy will never ever be this broke again and so you talk about having financial resources I realized that I needed to first believe that I could do something different that wherever my mindset was my bank account was gonna follow mmm so I needed to change my mental zip go what was your mental zip code then scarcity lack I was born and raised in South Central LA I grew up between the Harlem Crip 30s in the rollin 60s I had three fights a week to get home from school my highest grade in school was a c-plus in 12 years of school my high is great with c-plus and so if you ever tell the story to anybody don't forget my plus very important I was a student it doesn't matter like plus plus whatever but to a C student the plus matters man I get it so I'm so I struggled everything in my life was about a hustle mm-hmm everything nothing was easy except the love for my family that was easy and effortless and graceful and bountiful and but everything else outside of that it was a hustle get her get got and was the environment I grew up in and I'm not saying that you have to grow up in that rough environment to have an amazing future people I say well at least I didn't have it rough could I have a listen I would have trade my background here for anybody like don't think I chose that so I can have this and so I didn't know abundance I didn't know abundance existed I didn't know abundance could happen to people who look like me a woman geographically from my neighborhood I didn't know abundance can be that I didn't see it around me I didn't know abundance can be for someone that were there was in my culture yeah everything was about survival and hustle so so many things and spiritually I didn't know that someone who loved God who had a spiritual foundation can also have prosperity without being perceived as greedy I mean everything in my environment said not me everything said not me if I listen to the sound effects right and sometimes does that turn the volume down and listen to your heart right that's what was the conversation you would tell yourself during this time when you're in this scarce zip code someone like me can't have it mmm then over there that that guy right there he comes from the right family that girl right there her skin colors the right complexion that I'm full-figured a a mocha skin full lips round hip kinky hair girl nah not me not know I get other things I get i get a bountiful family I get up I get great children if I want I get closeness to God but I don't get abundance and and I realized that so much of that conversation was embedded in me before I was I was five I mean it just comes with the territory I will watch my grandmother make a dime going 20 different directions and I never wondered about having 21 dimes I just thought the girl that make my dime go in 20 different directions to be like Grandma and so so much as cultural inherited gender inherited as a gender as a woman you're not raised to make millions you're raised either get a good job or get a man with a good job you know and especially in the 80s and 90s absolutely absolutely and that's how we were raised spiritually you're taught you know in my background my religious background now I'm a spiritual I'm not attached to a religion at all but growing up in the mountain board Missionary Baptist Church it was you know money is the root of all evil well who would want a lot of that and that good one people exactly who wants even if that's what you say then I learned that I don't need it and sister brown i watch sister Brown and sister Brown was the most godly woman in the church and she was always selling fish dinners and barbecue dinners to make sure she had enough money and so unconsciously I want it to be like sister Brown because that woman can pray the heavens down and so then again I'm looking at that and then in my neighborhood it was the moment you get a little extra you give it away you give it away still to this day I kid you not I want one of my last opportunities like I don't call challenges opportunities is I'm in the top 1% earners in America and I say that humbly I'm grateful and my job now is to learn how to keep it and grow it cuz I love to give it away and I know it's a learned behavior it's a learned and I and I give it away to good things I just put $82,000 and revamp my grandmother's whole house cuz I knew she was gonna move she don't listen she gonna that's what she's gonna recipe she's gonna stay right there she's been at that house since 1968 she's not going anywhere so I just redid the entire house gutted out the entire house and and and put spent close to $100,000 doing it and I'll do that over and over and over and over again because I also was taught give it away so now I'm going to people who are more powerful and money in terms of I know how to make a lot I don't know how to keep a lot now I learn how to grow a lot you know and being and being humble enough to say that's where I am I got the first two down because money has three levels how do you earn it how do you keep it and how do you grow it yeah and so you know I had a conversation for a long time in many different ways and then it's the conversation as a woman if I make so much it's gonna be hard to beat the datable that Big D work you know and so as an African unapproachable exactly and men are taught as I taught as a woman about money you're taught as a man be the provider well you know it's kind of hard to provide for a G like me you know I come in I go how about we just put it together cuz I'm kind of cool or a provision thing you know and so I realize that men have to also feel comfortable with the fact that that that's an eighties conversation and in 2015 she might be now right 2016 right Victoria so last year I started the book tour and I have like you have to at every moment tell me the date right you know you just I'm just recovering I'm finally there's a clear voice there's sanity there's a healthy body there's your freedom of time so I'm curious what was this moment then that you realized okay I need to shift the way I'm thinking that the conversations I'm having how I'm showing up who I'm being in every moment from living in the scarce environment that I've lived in for 20-something years to all of a sudden shifting into an abundance mindset and way of being what was the moment to experience that thought the idea the catalyst that broke that I like how you say a moment like I got the ceiling opened up and the lights came in and the angels can't you know maybe it was over time right it was there was a moment when there was a moment when suffering became too painful there you go so mine didn't necessarily come at a glory moment it came 11 dollars and 42 cents and watching my baby wrapped in a towel no tile I I felt like I was being unfair to him see because 30 days before the tile I'm really telling my stuff for 30 days before the towel his father called me and when I answered the phone never forget I said hello he said Lisa I'm in LA County Jail well I don't do jail I don't do people in jail and I don't know people who have a possibility of going how did you get there because I met you in corporate America and you were professional I got there as his business I don't know but now I'm a single mom of a son whose father is now in prison but won't rock bottom rock bottom again so 30 days later when I would have my son wrapped in a towel I was done I was just done we're sick and tired of being sick and tired I was done so you know the concept of bankrupt is there's nothing left that's the concept of bankrupt so I like to explain it I was bankrupt in my mess I was bankrupt in my chaos and I was bankrupt in every sexy cuz my excuses are sexy by the way I've been a linguistic specialist for years I could talk my teacher into doing things right I mean it's just been my gift my father used to say Lisa please promise me you will use your powers for good and so I was bankrupt and all of my excuses so if you ask when it was probably about three hours after I told my son will never be here again on day two of being wrapped in a towel in 1994 and then I said how the next question was how if I'm done with this I'm not even sure what that looks like I just know over there a bunch of abundant thinkers living an abundant life having abundant memories with a surplus of everything because abundance is to be an overflow of the things that you have abundance is just about overflow it's about overflow that means that if there were a saucer under this Cup abundance would be everything this teve flows over into the saucer and I can feed you from my saucer because I have full might fill my cup up enough I use my cup for me and I speed you from my saucer an abundance is saying I have a saucer in my relationships feel with great experiences there's a saucer my health and wellness I have so much bountiful health and vitality that can show up for you there's a saucer with my spirituality that I can pray for you I can forgive that personally unforgivable and love the purr seemingly unlovable and then there's a saucer for my finances and that in every area because abundance is a 360 experience see wealth is singularly focused wealth is about your money in your possessions that's well okay but abundance is 360 I have a lot of very very wealthy friends who are miserable unhappy who are not abundant there well yeah they're wealthy they're not abundant and they understand that and they come to me at least to help me well my relationships my family or whatever and so I had to learn something different I lose I didn't know what I didn't know and so I thought that became the moment when I said what do I need to know to have something different what do they know that I don't know and how can I get it and I became a hunter so what was the first discovery um that there's a mindset that comes with abundance that they think differently they don't just do something different there's not a hookup first of all what camera do I look into is it that anyone anyone there is no such thing as a hookup I am still waiting on mine and if you know where it is my phone number is so there's no hookup there's no hookup like it's not true like you got a two hundred and ninety seven million chance in one to win the lotto and within five years the people weren't a lotto and more debt than they were before they won the lotto so that ain't even a hookup right and so um I realized that I needed to change my mindset I needed to learn something different and I needed to know it at a cellular level all that stuff I just told you about my color my gender my I had to unlearn people are where we're information junkies cuz we got all kind of access to information online and we're learning all this stuff but we're not implementing anything I'm sorry I'm I step on a few toes that's what I do and so I realized that I had to add a cellular level first before I went to get any more information I had to be willing to divorce and evict some belief systems that I already had that they had taken me as far as they can take me and now they're holding me back it's almost like you were size 11 you have eleven foot and you tried to fit it back in a size seven shoe you you pass that along and that's gonna be a very uncomfortable day I was in discomfort I was very uncomfortable with my thinking and so I'd start diving into books the first book I thought by delve into was Steven Covey's seven Habits of Highly Effective People and it dropped at me it disrupted everything I didn't know it was like it was like a double door opened up and then a wall opened up I'm like what are they they know that like what he told me that like I felt like I was out of a club and really you are I'm just gonna tell you abundant thinkers think a certain way mmm and they don't go around trying to try to convert you like people like you and I go let's open it up to everyone yeah but here's what I know about the human spirit is that the human spirit has a power choice most people don't want to choose this kind of thinking cuz it cost you something mm-hmm it costs the cost the cost is you got to get up earlier you get up earlier than average guy your day what you doing today is what some people do in a week but you do in the mornings as some people doing 12-hour day you got to be willing well you're willing to do in your book tour to get on the New York Times some people say I got to do all that okay great then have your life like you have to you sign up for your life experience there's no way like you were when I realized that I was a culmination of all my decisions that's like straight with no chaser that's like getting it with no cookies and milk I was a coma Nate you're a culmination of all your decisions and then when you up level your decisions and that is even hard at times new go Kyle I'm always single your combination your decisions your combination of your actions why can't I keep any money your combination of your decisions your life so I wanted to make better decisions because my son being wrapped in a towel meaning having 11 dollars and 42 cents me being overweight me my my son's father being in prison I couldn't shake it I was a combination my life experience was a combination of all my decisions and it was undoubtedly a hot mess and so I went let me go learn from so I his life don't seem like it's a hot mess and then let me adopt some of their behaviors when I began to hunt I went to conferences I and I was scare the bejeebies out of me these conferences I've never been to conferences before I went to entrepreneurial conferences I was the own I was one of four women at an 800 person conference and I was the only woman of color so it's all older white men and me and I was like okay well they they're not afraid of money seems like they're talking money in business and corporations and our allies in PPM's and turn agreements and no habla espanol I don't know what that means but I am NOT leaving until I figure this out and I went to the same conference when I say do what other people won't do so and you'll have what other people don't have I went to the same conference those 42 times mm-hmm I was a C student so I took minutes and I kept getting sponsor back to that I didn't have the money to go to the conference I start volunteering at the conference I would be onstage teaching cuz they love the way I spoke then I get off and I'd help clean up because I had to pay my dues to be there I was okay I ate my slice of humble pie every day sure cuz I was bankrupt see some people you haven't pushed not negotiable yet you're still option I really would love to be successful and so your honor B's me I want to be someone I want to help I want to be healthy but it's not non-negotiable yet because the moment the rubber meets the road you feel a little skin and it gets a little tender and a little blood may show up you don't want to give blood you don't want to give sweat you don't want to give tears mm-hmm let me just tell you can't take the elevator to the top all right get a number stairs all right yeah boom so I got excited I don't know what was the venue went to you know what I rather not even tell it cuz people begin to think the event was everything right you know I must say there's a conference you knows every conference there's a conference you know about fine like-minded people in your tribe is gonna make you stand on your tippy-toes okay so I you know what no disrespect to it sure people started that's the next light no it's not it was me hunting because the conference didn't give me a whole lot other than the people there I kept pulling from you know what I mean how important you know I'm a big believer in visualization and obviously in the secret that's something that was taught but I haven't watched secret in ten years when that came out but I mean this is something I practice as an athlete to visualize my results before the game what happened to see myself scoring the touchdown in the track mean and I'm sure you did a lot of similar things how important is visualization in abundance but then also how important is taking action right so I have five visualization exercises in that book just because it's so important visualization is a gift to your heart and your soul it's a gift because if the the idea is the seed visualization is the is the it's the fertilizer it's the fertilizer because when your thoughts are connected with an emotion see you would visualize yourself winning and you would feel all the emotion that came with that and all you're doing now is you're not chasing a foreign emotion you know the feeling and now you're just doing what's necessary to get back to that feeling in real time and so what what a good friend of mine vision who the CEO of my value you know I would I did a visualization with him we were in Bali and he said to me afterwards I never get emotional haha yeah well he was like I cry because I figured it out it's visualization a good visualization brings an emotion he was like that's how you do it and so I love doing visualizations because and and it's really important in the visualization you can't see it over there you have to see it right here you you got to feel it right here like I am it's all I am I am I am in my dream home I am in my dream relationship and then unpack what that looks like but most importantly unpack what it feels like and when you have that that emotion in this moment all of a sudden you stir up something that I don't think will ever go back to sleep it'll go ok let's go get that and what it really does is it sets up a state of cognitive dissonance then cognitive dissonance is when you see something in your mind and you see yourself in a way that your behaviors are not currently leading to us so your mind becomes disrupted and it goes ok can we get there right it's not there right now right now and that's not comfortable your mind wants to literally be congruent what it thinks is what you're doing what it thinks is what you're doing and so when you set up a constant and abundant thinkers like you and I we do it unconsciously we we are constantly keeping our self in a state of cognitive dissonance meaning ok what else and I'm seeing Lisa over there and I'm gonna okay let me go WOW while being grateful for my now yeah it's not in that I'm gonna be holding complete when I get over there I'm holding complete now I just know I'm supposed to be over there so let me do what's necessary to get over there and let me let me evict any be hey are characteristics that are stopping me and let me adopt any new ones that I need right how does someone discover their unique calling as you talk about that in the book discovering unique calling what if people like I don't even know what I want I know I want to be out of the place I'm in I want to be abundant wealthy healthy great relationships but I don't know what my purpose or calling is right now I think that people put too big of a notion on purpose in that they think that it has to look like Nelson Mandela or a mother Teresa or Oprah or URI and and a lot of times what you're really good at is right in front of you what you're really great at is right in front of you and to recognize that your calling and your purpose can change right that it can change you have a long lifetime it's not going to be the same calling the whole time and so allow yourself to evolve a lot of your purpose to evolve what's that thing you do effortlessly that you give no credit to because you're just looking past oh it can't be that because it's not hard well how about it doesn't have to be difficult how about the fact that you're a great listener how can you take that and use it in expanded and and don't compare yourself to someone else comparison I think Benjamin Franklin's a comparison is the thief of all joy it's all when you look left or right you know people are always comparing me to Oprah Winfrey Orellana lavon's on or or Les Brown or Tony Robbins I said listen I will if you want me to give you Oprah our young our Tony our less I'm always going to 1000% fail you but if you're ever interested I do a damn good Lisa I do I do a good Lisa Nichols yeah and so when you look at what are my gifts what are my unique gifts I knew very early on I was a gifted speaker I wasn't certified as a gifted speaker I haven't passed any courses as a speaker matter of fact the last time I took a speech class I got a d-minus and my speech teacher told me miss Nichols I recommend you never speak in public they can get a desk job that was in my freshman year of college the last speech class I took so a lot of times your gift and your purpose you've discounted it either because someone else discounted it or what's more common is you don't know how to monetize it yes and sometimes the greatest gift you have to give is not for it's for free you watch people like you and I and go alike and I get paid for it well not every gift you're supposed to pay for it Nelson Mandela did not get paid for leading 27 years when he got out of prison he got paid after that but he was a great leader while he was in prison and Martin Luther King he was a he he got paid from the church but his right his fight for civil rights that was a free one and he paid the highest cost and you can go on and on Iran to the some of the greatest leaders Mahatma Gandhi know what to pay check and so and I'm not and I know we're scaled down to our version but don't get attached to having to get paid for your gift right yeah I started this podcast as a way of I'm gonna do this for free for a year I'm not gonna take any spas or anything I'm not gonna sound I'm just gonna create and facilitate great conversation and that's it and now the money is coming in because of how it's impacting people's lives our intention was in the right place yeah but I wasn't like how can I do this right now to make money it was how can I serve the maximum of more people that right there that when people live in a place of servant leadership my grandmother said oh no it's 24 if you leave and how you how can you serve the most people when I sit with my team I go how can we serve more people how can we certain last year we were able to touch 30 million people ha and that's all our question now as we serve our platform gets brought about how can we serve don't tell me how we can make more money I'm not interested in that I mentioned how can we serve more because if I do the right thing for the right reasons everything I need will be a byproduct of that exactly so I think we get caught up and you know society allows us to have us looking at possessions and so we begin to measure our joy and our abundance on possessions I have a friend who's worth he's worth 14 billion dollars how do you even write that I have to write it down so I could see it right a lot he's worth 14 billion dollars I checked my email on my phone before we started and he's on my phone asking me please come visit me cuz he's lonely he's rich but he's not abundant yeah he flew from Canada to come to my house for New Year's just to be around people who were celebrating and wanted nothing from them and so don't pursue the things pursue the acts of service and everything you need will come I promise you yeah that's powerful let's talk about the for ease what is this principle the 40s that you talk about in your book yeah yeah yeah so um so there I like to break up my life in quadrants and I help my students I do a lot of coaching I do personal development and professional development coaching and no matter where you cut where you come to me whether you come to me for personal development or whether you are want to turn your passion into profit in this professional development and business development for entrepreneurs we go over the four es mm-hmm because abundance is holistic there's a holistic experience so the first is enrichment of self that you were only gonna go as far as you think you're worthy mmm I can push you can push you you can have the greatest product but if you don't feel worthy you will work hard to sabotage that relationship you don't know right you don't know you're doing you think these are the things I need and you're driving that guy away you're driving that woman away because your self-worth says they weren't gonna stay forever anyway or self-worth around money you have a cap that you feel like you're worthy of a million dollars you will always get to 999,000 and you will stop because your self-worth says it so enrichment is number one what's a good exercise or process that we can follow on a daily basis maybe something simple to enhance our enrichment absolutely worthiness absolutely I did this for six months every single day right after I brush my teeth and it's the ICU exercise and you get in the mirror now it's not necessarily simple because of course and as complicated as you are will be the mechanics of it mechanics are very simple yes I appreciate that distinction um you get in the mirror and you complete three different sentences you want to write this down the first sentence you look at yourself and you say your name so you would say Louis and you complete this is I'm proud that you and find seven different things every day to celebrate yourself for seven different each day you can do the same thing you did the day before but each they do seven different things to be proud of the second sentence is gonna knock you down a little bit it's gonna come from your gut Louis I forgive you for and cut the shackles to blame shame guilt regret and anger in that sentence you cut those five shackles not the first day maybe not the third day but by the 21st day by the thirteenth day you'll feel some relief so Louis I forgive you for and go back five years 15 years 20 years do that forgive you fit for that thing don't nobody know about but you go ahead and cut those shackles because if you can still think about it is still in your energy space and then the third sentence is Louis I commit to you that before you make a commitment to anybody else throughout your day you make seven commitments to you so the first sentence I'm proud that you you're celebrating yourself first we are under celebrated as a as a society we look for acknowledgement they enter they interviewed a hundred executives that all made over a quarter of a million dollars and said would you like a five percent raise next year or would you rather be told thank you more often 100 percent 100 percent said keep your money I'd rather hear thank you so we're under celebrated but first celebrate you be the example when I was on Oprah when she said what do you do I said I recognize that I'm the example of how the rest of the world is supposed to treat me and it's my job to give the world the best example of how I like to be treated right so celebrate yourself forgive yourself cut the shackles and then commit to yourself before you commit to anyone else that right there powerful that right there will begin to fill your cup up mmm to get to your sausage I love that where did you start to learn that process was that something you just started to practice yourself and started looking in the mirror and trying different things and boy you asked the question I was in a relationship engaged to be married and it became abusive I was emotionally abused and then he picked me up and threw me three feet across the room and choked me until I passed out I don't tell a lot of people that and I was suffering with post-traumatic stress disorder and my mother asked me to go to the doctor strongly recommended I go to the doctor drugged me to the doctor and after the assessment of me in Manhattan Beach my doctor said that I was clinically depressed I said how did I get here me I don't even fit with my name I was head cheerleader at my high school I was I was the captain of the track team I was I'm always the person and get people going it didn't fit how did I get here I don't know if you've ever found yourself saying how did I get here I was sitting on the table in the doctor's office saying how did I get here and when she wrote me the prescription she handed me the prescription and I'll read the prescription and it said Lisa Nichols prozac mm-hmm I was looking at a foreign statement my name in prozac and I asked her I said can I try something for 30 days cuz I I realize I was just sad mm-hmm I lost me I had lost me and him I had lost me and being a mother I lost me and being the mother of a son whose father was in prison and trying to hide that shame and then trying to make this man happy and then beginning to thin from my life and lost me so I needed to discover me I needed to remind myself who I was and so I just realized that I didn't celebrate me I was beating myself up I was really mad at me and I was showing up for everyone else so I just made up these sentences mmm and I did it to rescue myself to turn my crawl into a walk and I ultimately was able to turn my crawl into a walk and my walk into a run a my run into a soar but it started out as a crawl so I don't offer the how I got to that exercise often unless someone ever thanks for sure yeah no I've I've I've I've long since learned four things these to me this is the road to true freedom I have nothing to prove mmm I have nothing to protect I have nothing to hide and I have nothing to defend mmm that your perception of me after I tell my truth is actually none of my business my perception of me that I go to bed as whole and complete as I woke up before I check how many likes I have on Facebook that I like me first mm and every other like is bonus very girl market that was a long road to get to long roads for long road yeah we probably have to constantly be reminded of it you know and then one get in that place and then when I when I live like I'm forgetting you have to have accountability partner stashed in the corners of your life and you have to give them assignment on your hai day you have to give them a song on your hai day if I look like I'm slipping well my egos in the way in my face get in my face right get in my face and remind me of the man of the woman I said I want it to be don't let me off the hook for the 2020 version of me because we're humans it's gonna happen as long as we're breathing we'll be out of integrity at some point come on you're humanity's don't getting away your ego our ladies yo she go absolutely here is that man your your smallness just smallness it all fits in smallness nah I'm human and so I I'm the best thing I did was to keep people around me to help me accountable to the woman I said I want to become sure that's great I love that that's why I have a lot of people from the Midwest to who work with me on my team support me keep it grounded right right don't get to Hollywood exactly don't get caught up in the lights and the cameras and the daggone headset exactly absolutely okay enrichment that's the one first part the second part is enchantment relationships are going to define the quality of your life when you're on your bed and your last days you're gonna want to know who's gonna be around you bottom line you're not gonna care about another podcast you're not gonna care about another sponsor the book or the frickin New York Times does it matter to us now but the relationships in your life are going to determine the quality of your life and so mind your relationships and so in the book abundance now I teach you how to how to heal broken relationships that matter to you how to get back level-set I give you this great this great tool called it's a it's a it's a conversation to heal a broken experience so it's called a communication charter I use it in my company I use it at my house and so just is about how do I keep great relationships and then the third area is engagement work engagement you're gonna spend so much time and work and we're so emotionally attached to our work and most of the time people are attached in such a dismal way that why would you have that dismal energy around something you're gonna spend so many hours in so I teach you how to shift your energy towards your work so that you no longer look at it as your work now it's no longer your jlb like everyone in my community all everyone in my tribe they no longer say they have a job they say I have an investor and when you look at your job as your investor you really rename it as your investor yeah and it's investing in your breathtaking future it has the capacity to buy anything you want for your future if you mind your money right right right it can buy your freedom and all of a sudden you start seeing your investor better and you're more excited about going back you're very fun you're grateful for you feel like work man my investor was LA Unified School District mm-hmm that was a hard place to be when it was a job I'm just telling you but as an investor for three and a half years I wrote myself a check and I put in the memo line funding my dream I didn't even know what the dream was I wasn't even clear I just knew whatever my dream was is gonna cost some money mm-hm and I needed to pay I need to have somebody to pay and that if I was going to ask other people to invest in me I had to be my first investor Who am I to ask someone to put money my way when I didn't put money my way so I want to Matt I wanted someone for them to match this match my investment in me I got ten in can you put 10 in I got 20 in can you put 20 in and so you look at your job your work engagement as an investor into your breathtaking life all of a sudden there's a different energy around it and then the last one is money endowment and to recognize more than the dr. Seuss family and the Disney family and the McDonald's family and the Lawrence wealth fund family has a right to an endowment when you get the understanding and I really unpack it here where you kind of go what like I'll make you do a couple of scooby-doo looks in the book like we're old when you look and go I can do an endowment like I because we think it's for them remember I started this conversation with abundance is for those people over there especially when it comes to an endowment or a living legacy like in your book and there be a quick critic creating a legacy to recognize that wait a minute there's a Louis endowment and the lease endowment and add-on and John and Tanya and dominant and fill in the blank here endowment and I need to live my life to set up my endowment all of a sudden you become responsible for generations to come responsible for changing the trajectory of your family's life that's some bold stuff when in your lifetime you do a needlepoint move for your family in my lifetime I was able to do a needlepoint move for my son like he's a Nichols child he's one of many Nichols men but that's the Nichols man who now knows what it feels like to cook in Italy and in Tuscany and in in Florence and in Venice and in Rome that's a that's a Nichols child knows what it feels like to go surfing on the Gold Coast of Australia that's the Nichols child understands what it feels like to stand on the tallest mountain in Africa like his life I asked him this morning I said Jelani can you when you get married you have children can you stay in California so mommy can really see her grandchildren he goes well mom that's kind of restrictive its restricted to stay in big California because he knows the world yeah his paradigm shift has occurred he won't ever live like another and he'll take everything he's learned and expand the Nichols male child experience so in my generation in my lifetime I was able to change our family experience for him and so I believe that we have a right to look at our legacy and create a living legacy and then create a legacy right right all the doctor talk a little more about relationships because I feel like from my success my growth is all been about relationships and building quality relationships in the process I've lost I would say a lot of friends from college to after college you know it's like a lot of people don't understand it they don't get it right and if when you try to connect with them and educate or or just lift them up and say hey this is possible for you scary for them and yes a lot of judgment happens a lot of negative talk behind your back jealous and things like that have you lost a lot of race ships over the years from family to friends and how do you handle a situation when someone that you're very close with no longer wants to grow wants to learn wants to be into some pundits mindset what do you do in that situation you just cut them out do you add new people to your life how does that work so I know you have great relationships in your constant I think I do and I'm nurturing there's there's probably just a few few years between us but they've taught me something yeah and I'm happy you asked that question because I've been looking at that lately and so there are three types of I talked about this in a deep dive this in the book there are three types of relationships there are life-giving relationships now I'm going to speak to friendships and I want to speak to romance man sure of course yes yeah what we talk most about our relationships what many people think most about it is money those are the two anchors that just kind of consume a lot of energy yeah right there are three types of relationships there are and I'm happy to answer the friendships that I've lost and what I've done but I want to kind of give this context because I think this is going to be a liberator for someone someone came to this podcast just for this like this is your nugget everything else is bonus this is it there are three types of relationships there's a life-giving relationship and that's the friend or the romance that lasted one day to two years and it was they were in your life just to remind you you still got it mm-hmm that you were and you know that friend you made it was like for like six months and then they're gone yeah and you cuz you can't even sustain it it's too combustive you know it's too demanding it's too chaotic you see it's the the turbulent the joy is high and the turbulence is not there and so it was it can't it can't exist past two years but that's called a life-giving relationship and somewhere on last for one day there's their stranger that passed in your night and it was delicious or two and and with no judgment on that that's just life their life giving they're there to remind you stay in the that fire you had in your belly when we played or skated or made love or saying keep that fire in your belly that's a life-giving relation number one relations number two there's a lifetime no matter what you do someone's gonna bury the other person mmm friends rillette romance it's just meant to be lifetime they can get on your last nerve mm-hmm yarn gonna wear and then this third type is the type that there's the most disruption in the most chaos in the most sadness in the most discord in and it's the relationship we're in the most out mmm it's 80 percent of us 80 personal relationships are in this category and probably about 99% of our chaos and discord is in this category and that's called a purposeful I hope y'all writing this down by now that's called a purposeful relationship and a purposeful relationship is relationship that was brought together to serve a purpose whether the purpose was to birth the business to grow each other up to have children to learn how to love madly there's a purpose and that relationship lasts anywhere from 3 years to 15 years to 25 years it can be a long time however where the discord comes in where the sadness comes in where the disgruntled 'no scums in is that once you know what I'm gonna say once it's a purpose fault relationship full of purpose purposeful once the purpose is fulfilled the relationship will forever take a shift it won't necessarily be over but it is in the beginning of its decline mmm now can you stay together for a lifetime after the purpose is fulfilled yes you can but it will have a flatline it will just have a flat line and then most people a lot of people the relationship ends because something just isn't right because someone saying why can't we just go back to the way it used to be right well we learned it we used to be serving and fulfilling the purpose yeah it's already for in that beautiful juicy great content didn't even come from me I learned it years ago and I adopted it to save my own life and so in that context I do have friends that have been with me for years and I have friends that have moved on mm-hmm and they were purposeful and that was the only thing I could give it to find peace because there was this gap there's this hole there was a wish I would have got him but let me share something with you Louis I realize that my job in my friend's life and in my family members life is not to rescue them this is where the distance in our years comes I realize that I can have all this information in your beautiful book I can have all this information and what I wrote in mine and when I show up to them with them they just want their girlfriend they just want their home girl right they just want their niece they just want their cousin they just want their daughter they don't want me to rescue them right that I had to retire from the converting business mmm cuz I suck at converting people they are going to be who they want to be innocent - no disrespect to them but no one drugged me to this place of awareness yes so Who am I to drag them and I know we get excited cuz we we see the light and the reality is all we all your job all my job all your job all your job is to be the light not try to pour it on people but to be the light so that we get to serve them again from our saucer and they pick up on it last night I had a book signing but they've got to want it and when never own it in their time last night I had a book signing I don't know if my family's gonna be watching this but if they are I'm grateful more people from my family showed up to my book signing last night than any other event in the history of my business mm-hmm I've been doing this for 21 years well any other I've been inviting them why why no I don't know I asked him well I was just grateful yeah I didn't even ask and then today I got a text from my cousin who I grew up with six months difference my ride-or-die she's the one I got in trouble all the time we write writer died never interested in coming to my work and it would kill me to see her life kill me to see her suffering kill me to see her struggle kill me to see her not happy and today she sent me a text and she said I'm gonna read your book because I'm ready for a change I read it like three times yeah my cousin we're cousins cousin well and I text her back I said nothing would make me more happy to support then to support you in your journey let me know what I could do that's awesome when you're ready when you're ready yeah and so I stopped trying to convert my friends because I was driving our friendships away mmm it was a hard lesson learned and then I started thinking my work was so big and so so so meaningful that they would understand if I didn't have time and I realized people don't care about what you're doing for the planet right you need to nurture this friendship of course I let some die on the vine so their relationships that you've let down on the vine because you didn't invest enough in it you thought the plant would live without water I thought the plant would live without water because I was watering everyone out here but I forgot to turn the water back around to my friendships and so if they died away I am 100% as responsible as my friend yeah of course what do you think is the most purposeful relationship you've been in the one that's are you going to turn around ask me the most life-giving one right right purposeful relationship that I've been in I'm gonna tell you three so one is with a girlfriend of mine who taught me to trust other people her name is Denise do you not trust people before um I don't know if I distrust it I didn't just didn't try to trust that was I was cleaning up I could do it yeah I could do it don't worry about me I'm good don't worry about me which we don't think that's lack of trust we just think that's I'm a superhero mmm you see there's also much as I got this I realized if I don't I think it was a pardon but it was unconscious and I would never say I don't trust people I just said I got it I don't worry about me yeah you're good I'm good she taught me how to trust and my ex-fiance who abused me taught me how to fight for my life without fighting with words I fought without fighting I fought I like this mmm I grew up like this and I had to learn how to fight with strategically he made me realize how much I wanted to live and how much I had to live for and how willing I was to go out of mine or to make sure I was around so and my son doesn't fit in purposeful because he's a life time but my son has taught me I had a consultant come in my company and frought my company cost me several hundred thousand dollars but that's money is just dirty paper that was done that was the easy part the feeling of betrayal the emotional part the ego in the way the resentment when I told my son and I'm crying I couldn't fake it my son knows him so well he's 21 now he can't look at me something's wrong and I was trying to fight it off and he's like something's wrong and I just started bawling and crying and my son took my hand and said mom let's just pray hmm and we're not religious or spiritual but we he was raised praying and my son started praying for us and then then he did something that rocked my world he started praying for the guy hmm I never I thought about doing a lot of things this man was not one I'm just telling you my son prayed for him and my son pray for his children interesting my son cracked my cracked my compassion wide open I started bawling him over I started crying for a different reason I started crying because I had no compassion I had no forgiveness in my heart at that hard - and you like someone right but we do hard things every day today we're at least on top of life athletes we're athletes athletes sign up get dressed and go out to hurt I was allowed to physically there are many days I've made a personal phone call to Earl on the side track I knew when I did 800 breakdown I was gonna make a direct line call to Earl yeah exactly and I signed up for it so we know hard I didn't as hard as that was I wasn't entertaining it so my son is the other person he's a lifetime relationship but he taught me like in that moment and that was recently that was in the last 12 months he taught me I don't care how much you're hurting still open up your heart to compassion don't ever stop forgetting where they might be that will cause them to live in that kind of dark place mom it's not your job to leave them there mom shine your light on them even if they don't know it's your light mm-hmm even if they violated you you still live in the light living in the light is not optional when you choose the light stay in the light you never ever take the train down the darkness because someone betrayed you you don't ever leave the light that's what he said basically that was powerful at 21 you know mom let's pray and I'm like wow he's praying for him and so amazing and then I'm not telling you like life-giving relationship you know it was romance for me that was romance it was it was at a time where this PG or is this R what is this you 13 mom show us with the good I can't I wasn't going to thank you we can believe stuff right right right right no no no I think not maybe there was someone in my life and and still is he's a great friend and it was at a time that I didn't see myself through the lenses he did like he saw me far more beautiful than I saw myself and it and it speaks to a bigger picture that sometimes you have to borrow someone else's lenses and look at yourself through their lenses he was significantly younger than me and that was a big thing for me because I felt like and he was phenomenally beautiful he was African American and French just a delicious blend I must say everyone over 21 note that what it means and I would look at him and literally lose my breath well I would lose my breath when I would look at him and I would watch him look at me and lose his breath and I kept wondering what he saw it was the craziest thing I kept wanting to go go behind him and look at me like you know I don't know if you understand but I just wanted to see what he saw her and I was I was 78 pounds heavier than I am now oh I haven't been in this body long mmm so I'm still I'm still getting used to being under 210 pounds Wow so for him to see me so beautiful then my dad can go mmm where'd you set it you got me there God you got yourself there yeah well you opened the door now I'm curious I want you to stay in this moment because you know I'm curious how for it sounds like to me for a long time another first time connected but it sounds like to me for yes I hope not sounds like to me for a long time you were living in abundance in a lot of areas of life but except the health category absolutely 100% 1000% and how are you able to navigate that process the conversation I don't see myself the way this man sees my body isn't showing who I'm being right it was incongruent I'll say it was a grown folk conversation it was incongruent with who I knew myself to be it was what I call my kryptonite it was it was my kryptonite right right a lot of people's kryptonite you can't see you could see my kryptonite and I wore it well if you will sometimes I had some bad outfits I'm even in the book cover you don't even look like yourself right now right right I can't I was still in the work you know they needed a cover shot and I'm like okay I'm in this work of transformation you can take it now but that's not who you don't see what the book comes out and I was committed to keep going we've never been this wait but I mean before the last 20 years I ran track right literally at my book signing last night I have five people from my high school and they said you are back in high school right what so so I guess all over Facebook now with my high school my high school track team members they're going Lisa this was you running track right no I mean actually a little smaller that I wasn't good to change all the videos in your side but no I looked at the video and then there's a video right now of like I do you was at the party of the background I was like wait who's that like a fangirl oh wait that's her right right you said fangirl so you know many videos I have so many videos so many I was gonna recognize no one's gonna recognize me and so the question yeah how was I able to navigate through it and feel like cuz I was congruent I know what you're gonna feel congruent feel like I was what a liar or weren't like well what I said was I'm still in the journey with my help I'm not gonna man I don't wanna now is that uh like a mask or something that you just continue to say for 20 years like no it was it was it was it was I I thought my weight was just wait just some I think it's bad or wrong no no no no I appreciate the question no I I love the question i I I didn't know what I didn't know that's number one so my truth was my truth based on what I knew up until that moment yeah so for years I would say I don't know how to lose the weight because I couldn't be consistent but for years I just made it about what I ate and what I did and I never let it be emotionally like when I realized I don't say lost weight as much as I say I released it because I wore a jacket a 78 pounds agate and I didn't know why I was wearing the jacket 78 pounds yeah why would you oh you mean that literally wait but on top of the way it was the weight like this is who I am and did you lost 70 80 pounds I lost released 78 pounds and it took me that's great and so but what I didn't realize was that there was an emotional weight that preceded the physical weight and I put the jacket on 21 years ago for a reason and I never looked at the reason what was the reason you are all in my business like for real forever absolutely so I told you my son's father went to prison and when he went to prison I put the jacket on I never acknowledged that I was wildly madly in love with him now that I saw myself with him for a lifetime and so I put a jacket on almost immediately after he went in I didn't put all 78 on immediately but it slowly came on because I actually didn't want to be attractive to anyone else and I wanted him to come home and after 10 years it was a 10-year mark I realized I'm not gonna date him again because my my opinion he was institutionalized or whatever and I wasn't there I was never a fan of prison never found people in prison never found it and my brother was in prison for porn happy right right right I never was a fan I didn't go visit him for the first eight years I only went to visit him with my son said mom I want to touch my dad now I let him talk to his son every single week every week I was all about fostering the connection and I realized that I unconsciously was trying to hold myself and stay unavailable protect yourself protect myself until he came home and and in on December 12th of 2014 I called him after leaving The Steve Harvey Show and on the Steve Harvey Show I was supposed to culture woman'll relationships which I got I can do that relationships money I got it got it got it at the last minute she didn't show up she cancelled and the woman's who replace her they asked me to coach her Oh weight loss zing and to drive home the point that you opened with I set in the green room keenly aware that I wasn't qualified to coach her mm-hmm I like being congruent if I did so in the green room I'm having a slight meltdown not good for the couple million people gonna watch me be in control not good for the expert coach down right exactly and I wasn't willing to being congruent I wasn't willing I wasn't willing I never opened up health and wellness as a deep dive conversation I never I said they're four quadrants of your life that you need to master I talked about all four and I said in the fourth quadrant I'm in that I'm living that I'm working through that for health quarter the health contract so here we are at the only focus on this quadrant and so I committed to her that I would take the journey with her interesting III I put myself out there I bust myself out I expose myself I said I can't coach you talk about accountability oh I said and Steve sitting there Steve harvestin there look at me like this are you sure what you're about to take off he's over there and he's looking at me like what are you doing yeah and I said I can't call to you I'm over 200 pounds I don't qualify to coach about what I do qualify to do is walk with you mm-hmm and I said so let's do it together every Sunday I'll meet you on the phone I said and how about we come back here in five months and I commit in five months I'll be 47 45 pounds lighter wow that's a ballsy commitment I think you know play bigger golf course and so I did that and I went home and I sat still and I said what do I do and I started sitting on why did you put the jacket on in it and I tracked it back tracking her back oh my god cuz before then I was an athlete thirteen years I mean I was I did track I swam competition I was a state champion in city champion and and and freestyle and swimming I did water ballet for seven five years and so why did I put the jacket on I looked at it and so it was because of him and I because of my emotions around him so I called him and we talked for an hour and a half and I told him everything I told how much I loved him that waited on them I told him that I released him at 10 years but I did not release the weight and that I've been waiting and you know I just said everything he cried I cried we cry I set with my son I told my son I cry he cry we cry and then I was okay to take my jacket off and then people asked what did you do then I did everything I've been hearing for the last 20 meters dude I was consistent here I ate smaller meals I didn't work out for an hour a day I didn't do that because an hour a day would cost me two hours a day and time and two hours a day would cost me around about $40,000 money and time time was my highest commodity right and so I'm a I I consistently agreed to work out 15 minutes a day and because 15 minutes I can do and every wind built on the next win every day I completed my goal which built momentum yeah I did it was just 15 minutes I did it so I was consistent the length of time wasn't my big deal was the consistency traveling on planes I was on the road 321 days the same year I lost the weight Wow the same year I lost the weight it's not easy to lose weight while traveling no no no no and so I ate smaller meals I made my mills in the morning while I was at home I stayed home for 90 days I didn't travel wouldn't travel for 90 days to jumpstart my weight loss because I had to get off 45 pounds before a month and so um I was radical I made all my male small meals and I set them aside I look like all the athletes like you know these mini meals and and then I worked out I slept in my sweat sometimes I took a shower and got in my sweats so I can get out of bed that's the old tractors that's your high school colors work out so hard I am wake up right right I can't even think about getting dressed I'm gonna wake up dressed yeah and then I didn't use any weights and I didn't go to the gym mmm I use my body weight I use my car they had enough of and I jumped at Joe jacks jumping jacks in London and crunches just said everything I have I just believed what every trainer said everything you have is right here so that when I did start traveling I was okay yeah i conditioned myself yeah the tools using the in your hotel room or whatever I'm anywhere answer oh listen let me tell you I got radical I was lunging through the airport sure yeah I care people see me you can call me crazy man so you got get it call me crazy I have you call me crazy yeah do you understand I'm fighting for my life now and so I went back to Steve Harvey in five months and I wasn't forty five pounds lighter I was 57 pounds later baby girl and she was 56 pounds lighter and then it became a big conversation like thousands and thousands of women began to follow me interesting so I publicize my workouts I wasn't trying to be a workout guru mmm I'm not bad people still tell me kid let's do a program I'm not I'm not I'm not the teacher I'm the student yeah I'm clear ten years I've mastered it that I don't even need to do it I just need I'm the student watch me as a student yeah I got ugly workout pictures of me online still on Facebook I got you know early morning you know crazy shots and then people want to do shows with me television shows me I don't want to make any money off of it yeah this was from my liberation yeah this is so I can tackle all four quadrants do you know how powerful I feel today very you know I'm sure partly in a line Thank You Amen and I'll hopefully humble and grateful of course you know but now now now game on yeah game freakin on now now game freakin on now I'm going man I built a multi-million dollar business wrote seven bestsellers travel the world all of that carryin to over 210 pounds all of it almost as big as me all of it right now what do I do watch out like it's interesting now I gotta watch out because like young men now don't know like my age anymore like and what my braids and the auburn hair and hollered at you oh and like you know and then I'm hanging out of the my Valley Conference's and where all the young you know amazing entrepreneurs go so it's funny I'm tickled all the time I just laugh and go this is funny this is really really great I was walking out I just tell you this I was walking out of a a little hole-in-the-wall restaurant in LA and this guy comes running out behind Michael excuse me cutie you cutie and I could turn around quick been a long time since my walk has called me cutie shorty cuties you know the cover shirt it goes I'm a producer and we're doing a bone thugs-n-harmony video video right and we're doing it with five sisters fine sisters who are what did he call it mature 500 I said Oh old ladies girls no no no I'm a tour woman like in there like late 30s I smiled all right oh you're so cute because would you be interested in being in a video no baby but thank you so much for asking you have made my day I'm enjoying it I love it I won't ask you a few months three more questions yeah before I do and make sure when goes pixels the book make sure to check this out well but linked up also below this and the show notes but go get abundance now if you want to have an abundant life it gets spicy now I gotta tell you it's great there's a lot there's a lot of stuff I wanted to ask me to hear but you share so many great stories I had a lot of things marked up here that I liked balanced a myth harmony is a must rich people think differently all the different topics we talked about in here to create prosperity must create a new where they ship with money I think that's gonna be powerful for a lot of people so make sure to get this book to learn these principles where can we connect with you online before I ask the final three questions yeah so I'm in a season where people ask me what how did I go from public assistance to go in public my company two years ago went public yeah and so the big conversation in a second what is the second african-american woman to go out with public companies there right yeah and the only person the self development industry today to be the founder of a public company I'm grateful thank you very much and so the big question is how do you go from welfare to Wall Street how do you go from public assistance to go on public which is a big leap and there's two big things one I change my mindset I picked up a book which is why I love this book because I wrote it modeling kind of like the seven habits like how did I what did I give up what did I get okay then the second thing was I went and I joined a tribe of people that would make me stand my tippy-toes and so I'm I'm doing something kind of well not kind of crazy my CFO says it's very crazy I've invested over $200,000 to put on two free conferences where you just come well nothing there's your book is your ticket like this is your ticket to get in and so the way you find out about me online I would say go to join Lisa free.com okay join Lisa free.com and there it'll give you access to my website access to you know my programs how you can be coached if you want to but I think first and foremost it gives you access to come and be in my presence at no cost like you bought the book for you bring the book as your pass hold it up I'm gonna love on it and then for nine hours we're gonna talk about bringing concept into action like what do you do that's the benefit that's the beauty of that day that we're gonna come and get in action like I said I went to this conference over and over and over again I want to get you into the same process I did cuz it worked but what I what I also love about is that I've gathered some of the best people on the planet to come together in the right mindset of movement to set you up with an accountability community because I know that when you have an accountability community you are 80% more likely to follow through what the dream you said you have and so accountability gets me everywhere and so we're gonna have accountability parts of accountability communities that we set up that day it's gonna be so juicy so delicious it's gonna be confrontive it's gonna be edgy it's gonna be spicy it's gonna be liberating we're gonna have breakdowns and breakthroughs it's gonna be one of those days I'm coming for your breakthrough I am NOT coming to entertain you know I can't be quite entertaining I'm coming for your breakthrough and so I just want to give you what I got you know someone said oh it's like you're paying it forward I thought I never thought like that I just feel like I'm being responsible with what I know and someone blessed me with this information and then blessed me people people poured into me Louis people loved me people saw my light and said I'm gonna help you young lady I mean white people black people men women young Oh more older more older people who had made so much money had so much success has such great relationships all they want to do is help somebody else and I was the beneficiary that's great and so this is just going here you don't meet them you know they're pretty awesome and so I'm excited to be able to allow 2500 people hmm to just come I love it was the late for that join Lisa free okay you were that link well that linked up as well yes okay final three questions what are you most grateful for in your life recently well you say most you making have to pick one mm-hmm I am most grateful for my newfound health I'm most grateful that my body can now keep up with my life purpose mhm that's right it's beautiful and I'm I just have to say this I would be remiss if I didn't I'm grateful for my 86 year old grandmother who was sitting in the audience last night and cheering me on who accompanied me to Jamaica to see me speak who's coming out tonight to see me speak again that she's in her right body her right mind a able body of right mind and she's in my life and she's able to witness what she helped mm thanks I'm actually add one more question what's something you do every single morning a ritual that you do no matter where you are what's happening what's something you must do not negotiable I find 10 things to be grateful for before my feet hit the ground it's ten things and they can't cost money they can't cause my brother do you write them down to just think about them acknowledge them yeah I think about them I say them out loud I speak to some days a lot of days I do 25 but I won't let myself move until I've done 10 every day no matter where I am sometimes I do it on the plane cuz I get up really really early and so I if I'm at a crack of dawn flight I I especially if I'm feeling strained and stressed I go over my gratitude list cuz gratitude will reduce stress all day long of course I believe in it every morning I do three things man we have to step it up to ten every night I always speak it out loud and ask someone what they're the three things are most grateful for for the day and then I'll repeat my three things it's really important every six months I asked my son to measure our relationship that's six months I asked my son on a scale from one to ten ten being amazing one being it doesn't exist mom how do you measure our relationship and when he measures it the next question is the most important question I say son what would take it from an 8 to a 10 what would take it from a 9 to 10 what would take it from a 7 to a 10 every six months that's a ritual is powerful very powerful this is a question I've been asking a lot recently it is the last day for you sometime where in the future all your books have been erased every videos have been on youtubes been gone everything you've said the secret is long gone no race for the secret is a secret exactly yeah and you have all the people that you wanted to be there by your side you're healthy happy but it's your last day and they say hey mom sister lover everything's a race that you've created but we have a piece of paper and a pen and you get to write down three truths the three things you know to be true about what you've experienced in this beautiful world this will be what would the only thing we get to remember you by three truths by Lisa Nichols what would you say would you write down there each one I'm putting on the spot I apologize what's opening up for you right I love the spot I love the spot I love organic I love non rehearsal it's not ours is so much richer juicier three truths my three truths would be that you get a thousand second chances and every time you get to 999 you get to press reset you get a thousand do-overs that would be truth number one you get a thousand do-overs and every 999 you get to press reset mm-hmm the second truth would be the most valuable possession commodity investment that you could ever make and have would be too nervous the people around you that are loving you because if it's my last day then these faces are the ones that matter the most and these are the people that I somehow invested enough in and gave enough value to that you would bless me with being here on this special day and then third make your - dance mmm make that - between your birthday and this day mm-hmm make that - dance make it rock this planet make it unapologetic take no prisoners play full out if you're gonna run run fast run hard even at the risk of hitting the wall mm-hmm make it - dance I love it final question before I asked Lisa I just want to acknowledge you for a moment for coming on and sharing your wisdom and opening up and being present and being loving and committed and for the constant work you've done over the years to not only develop yourself but also develop so many others who are ready for that type of information and transformation and I acknowledge you for your ability to show up and be honest over the last couple years about the things that aren't you know the things that are holding you back are weighing you down and taking them full-on and being committed to all areas of your life always understanding that it's a work in progress and you're never gonna be perfect neither am i but for acknowledging it and taking the action even if it is after many years when people wanted you to do it it's is amazing that you took it on now and and it looks you look amazing it looks beautiful and you always have them so I got ology for all the work you continue to do this to support so many thank you and a final question is what's your definition of greatness my definition of greatness is living with intention to leave people better than how you found them to allowing your your breath to show up and possibly be a change agent moment for someone else mmm for giving yourself permission to illuminate your light so brightly that if someone is in your presence and they might be in a dark moment in life that your light brightens their life just long enough for them to see their own possibility again greatness it's about being willing to be used to your highest level of possibility even when it's uncomfortable even when it's unpopular even when you're alone even when it's inconveniencing you're still willing to lead mmm Nikolas thanks for coming out I appreciate it thank you for having me it's awesome right you hey guys thanks so much for watching this interview I hope you enjoyed it make sure to share with your friend leave a comment and a like below and also we've got a lot of previous interviews on this channel so click right here to go watch the previous interviews and each week we come out with more episodes inspirational videos and interviews so if you haven't subscribed yet click right here to subscribe to this channel again thanks so much for being here and I'll see you guys soon

Channel: Lewis Howes

Views: 468,259

Rating: 4.8802533 out of 5

Keywords: Lewis Howes, The School of Greatness, Lisa Nichols, Abundance Now, Inspiration, Motivation, Author, live your best life, life hacks, entreprenuer interview, Los angeles, Best selling author, The school of greatness podcast, 2016, How to be great, greatness, how to be successful, be great, #begreat, motivation video, how to be great at anything, how to be great leader, greatness awaits, greatness within, greatness is upon you, abundance now, success story, abundance meditation

Id: ARIGsnnhGAU

Length: 81min 21sec (4881 seconds)

Published: Mon Jan 18 2016