Lisa Nichols Interview - Increase Your Sense Of Value And Stop Postponing Happiness!

welcome to the model help so this is fitness nutrition expert Sean Stephenson and I've got a studio full of amazing people in my production team because we've got a very very special guest in the building very excited to introduce her to you today now you know a big part of transforming our body starts with transforming our minds and you know so often people are pining away trying to find a new workout when they really need to work in and this is really where our transformation ultimately is going to begin and so that's why I always want to bring the best absolute best people in the world to help you to really get your inner game together and today I mean she is a true superstar in this field so very excited to introduce her to you now really quickly I've got to give a shout out to my drink this morning because it helped me dealing with some stress dealing with some unexpected twists and turns of the morning but I had Lions named tea so the University of Malaya actually published a study finding that lion's mane does in fact have neuro protective and neuro regenerative properties so it literally has been found to support and protect the myelin that coats your nerve cells all right so we've talked about myelin on the show before so myelin is basically the insulation that helps to kind of reaffirm and protect nerve pathways so any activity that you're doing repeatedly your body starts to lay down more more myelin so that that process or that practice becomes automatic you know think about Steph Curry shooting a basketball the very first time you tried which is probably close to my son Braden right now is five starts with the underhand toss up and eventually you know I came to pick him up the other day and he was shooting overhand not very consistent but over time it becomes automatic and that's because more myelin gets laid down so it literally you've seen Steph Curry probably falling out of bounds with his eyes closed shooting a three and making it and that's because of that myelin and our brains are so amazing in its ability to automate behavior however those things can get broken away those things can get torn apart through damage through toxic foods through trauma but lion's mane has the ability to protect your brain so this is why I love it because it's backed by science now here's the key for sig Matic does a dual extraction of the lion's mane so they're doing an alcohol extraction and a hot water extraction most companies just do one so they're not getting all of the beta glucans all the polysaccharides all the terpenes all the different compounds that are unique in different extraction methods you're getting all of it plus it tastes really good and so here's how I like to do it is what I did today I had strawberry emulsified MCT oil a little bit of grass-fed butter hot water and I did a couple of drops of some chocolate stevia along with the you know chocolate strawberry vibe to it and the forcing matic tea and it was fantastic and I'm still feeling that just wholesome feel in my body so if you're not using them already head over check them out it's for sig Matic com4 slash model that's fo you are SI g m8 e IC com4 /m o de L and you're going to get an exclusive 15% off all of their incredible mushroom coffees and mushroom elixirs so head over and check them out and now let me get to the iTunes review of the week so this review is from cinder Tola on itunes and it's five star review and it says I'm so glad I found you and the reduce says I've been listening to your show for about half a year and I'm already caught up now I just finished listening to the coconut oil episode and yes useful practical smart knowledge I use going ape in my conversation recently and chuckled to myself because you guys speak to me your podcast along with my Fitbit and yoga practice has enabled me to have an 8.5 pound weight loss since March of this year keep up the fantastic positive work thank you so much for leaving us that review I truly truly do appreciate it and wow just you should be so proud of yourself for the progress that's what it's really about its progress not perfection and I'm incredibly proud of you just grateful for you taking the time to leave the review and everybody if you've yet to do so make sure they're head over to iTunes and leave us that review I truly truly appreciate it and hopefully we can get you featured on the show as the review of the week at some point and on that note let me get to our special guest who is in the building with me today my guest today is the one and only Lisa Nichols and she is one of the world's most requested motivational speakers as well as a media personality corporate CEO who's global platform has reached and served 30 million people and Lisa's courage and determination has inspired fans worldwide and helped countless audiences breakthrough to discover their own untapped talent and potential as founder and chief executive officer of motivating the masses Inc I listen to this this is so amazing this is one of the country's only publicly traded personal and business development training companies publicly traded company this amazing human started and she's also the author of seven best-selling books and she's appeared on Oprah The Today Show Steve Harvey Show just to name a few and now she's here on the model health show to share her insights with you and I like to welcome Lisa Nichols how you doing today Lisa I'm grateful to be here I'm loving the content I'm here going I want to kind of write some stuff down but I look at the video so thank you for having me Sean it's my pleasure I'm so grateful for you taking time to be here with me and I would love you just start with your superhero origin story let people know how you got here where you started you know it didn't it started a far away from here not just geographically emotionally spiritually financially I started the journey of self development to save my own life I started the journey of human potential development to find out you know who I was I felt like I was seeing a version of me but I wasn't seeing all of me you know you said something very critical in the opening you talked about it's a it's an inner it's an inner game and I knew that my external circumstances in 19 94 I pick a year I could I could pick 92 I could pick 97 because there was a period of time there wasn't a moment there was a period of time but in 1994 if I pick a moment I was broken and broken and I knew that being broke was easier than being broken being broke I just need to go find out how to make money being broken I need to find the willpower and the desire to get up and the belief in myself to tell someone I was worthy of being paid that was the hardest journey and I had my son in 1994 which was a combination of the most beautiful time of my life and the lowest point in my life because it was the time that I had something outside of me my child something that I saw my heart for the first time outside of my chest and I was willing to kill away my ego or my she go for this child and I had to eight months after he was born when I had to go get on government assistance and I had to stand in the line and ask someone to help me pay my bills and to help me feed my child and it was one of those humbling experiences of my life because I was very independent I've been working since I was 14 and at 28 I just hit I hit a place that I didn't know was rock bottom until I kept filling that filling something on my back going I think that I think that's the bottom three circumstances you know and one of those circumstances was when he was eight months old I ran out of Pampers and I went to the ATM to get $20 out to get my son Jelani pampers in it said insufficient funds and I was just saying the other day I was delivering a sermon at a church and I said people I was interviewed 155 times in a five-month period because I was the first woman in the self-development industry to get paid a million dollars to write one book and it just created a lot of buzz and I was very grateful for it and everyone kept asking me the same question what did you do what did you do what was the moment what was the moment and everyone was looking for a moment so I started looking for a moment like what was the moment because it wasn't a moment but if I had to give it a moment I said to a lot of people that interviewed me I said listen I said I don't know if you remember that theme made you decide but I remember that thing that made me decide it said 11 dollars and 42 cents that I looked at that 18 I looked at that balance and it was at 7-eleven on their fridge I thought broke in my life was I was banking at 7 I was just going to the ATM paying all the extra charges because I didn't want to go to the bank I knew I had some in efest in SF checks there so just so just everything was in chaos and I saw 1142 and I didn't know in them at the time that that was my moment here but when I look back at it because everyone kept asking me what was the moment the thing that comes to my head was 11:40 - and then what happened after that I had to wrap my son Jelani in a series of tiles for two days and you know someone asked me and another occasion because every time I tell the story tears come up and they said you've told the story so much do you ever just like make the tears come up to make the moment more important I said no I'm a mama every time I tell the story I'm a mama who had to wrap her son in a towel for two days I don't get excited about telling the story but I owe you the story because you see public company I run a multi-million dollar business I travel the world I inspire people I live a first-class life but you want to know more importantly how did I get there and what was the inspiration 11:42 it was my moment and I didn't know how to get out of there it didn't happen overnight when I decided I'm done there was no the ceiling and opened up and lights and come down and saw anything and all of a sudden everything got great no nothing changed in my life but my mind I was bankrupt and I love these or bankrupt who's bankrupt means they nothing left I'm done with this version I'm ready to press reset I was bankrupt with being broke and broken so I began to search I began I became an explorer I mean and I wasn't a instance in school I was a fee average student I never got above a c-plus I wasn't extraordinary in anything except for track hours guys say I was state champion for the record you know I held with ether Euler hurdle records for 18 years at my school I'm just gonna say but academically I didn't surpass anything other than average academically I struggled for 12 years in school I was considered right above special ed I found out in my 20s that it was primarily because I'm severely dyslexic but I didn't know much now I use my dyslexia for my advantage I teach holistically I go back I go both directions when I think right but then I didn't know and so 1142 wrapping my son in pampers and tiles until I can afford to buy in pampers was my moment and then I became an explorer of information I knew that if my external circumstance was going to change I had to learn what I didn't know I had to learn what I didn't know because I was already using everything I knew and what I knew was getting me did when I was receiving so apparently people must know something I don't know and I just literally someone who didn't I mean I fact listen I the last night took an English class I got a fail the last time I took a speech class I got a d-minus and my English teacher told me I was a weakest writer she had ever met in her entire life and running the entire Claire excuse me in front of the entire class and my my speech teacher said miss Nichols quote unquote I recommend that you never speak in public second grade esh dog I kid you not I kid you not I get not sure so I had no confirmation yeah of who I could become other than my mom my dad and they were just like look get a good life and don't struggle too much you know what I mean it wasn't like you have everything it was just don't struggle too much and when I told my dad I want to be a motivational speaker he was like well what is that is that a real job is that come with benefits you get vacation can you feed your baby on that like your winner it wasn't even a creative environment now it is now is getting hot as popular but it didn't come with any structure and so I was bankrupt and who I had become so I was willing to reinvent Lisa I was willing to kill away any part of Lisa that was going to hold me back from being the woman that I hadn't even met yet that's a big statement because when you kill away that means you have to sign up for being in constant disruption for a very long time and you also have to sign up to walk by yourself right for a very long time possibly you know and so I was okay with that I was okay with I wasn't was scary but I knew that I could not sentence myself and my son to a future that looked and resembled this so I got a glimpse in a very in a very real way at 7:11 1142 of the life I wasn't willing to live in the future I wasn't willing to repeat so all I kept looking for our new experiences they didn't repeat this new experiences it didn't look like this and the further away from what I knew I could get and I wasn't physically a while still living in Inglewood you know still driving down Marlin Boulevard and I'm still driving my same little citation I had a card I was so old it didn't have two seats it happen the one seat member the old car yeah he drove my grandmother and my grandmother yeah I know was a hand-me-down hand-me-down I was grateful for it and you know I couldn't turn left and when I turn left it got stuck and then it came unstuck and it was dangerous everything on my left side because the car would swerve away and I was okay with that I was gonna drive that bucket to my future if I needed to I was okay with disrupting everything for the sake of something unfamiliar and unfamiliar possibility now I want to be clear I wasn't running from my past I bring it with me that's how you know you know about in my books you know by one of most age I'm look out on all Lisa every every single aspect of Lisa eight months after that moment my son's father went to prison and my son is 23 and my son's father's still in prison a day and I had the journey of pulling the blessing out of that and and understanding what was that about and finding forgiveness in my heart you know and not using that as a crutch you know and so I had all these beautiful gifts that came wrapped in sandpaper I had beautiful gifts beautiful gifts that came wrapped in sandpaper and some took me a month to understand and some took me ten years to get to the gift because the sandpaper was so thick you know and so wow who I am this is just there's certain things I've heard some of your story before obviously but this and things that you just expressed that it's so interesting because I do the same exact thing you know oftentimes we think there's this moment when something magical happens but it's a process and you actually did the thing that I do which is I've never heard anybody else do this but I was diagnosed with this so-called incurable condition with my spine when I was 20 years old and that was really my rock bottom and you know I proceeded to gain a lot of weight and dabble into depression and just really losing a sense of purpose because my identity was like I'm going to complete school I'm going to be successful and now I just lost everything even the ability to pay my own bills and when I finally decided to get well which is the key and so many people have passed that it's mostly like I'll give this a try see what happens I wish this would change but I really decided that no matter what I'm going to get way that's certainty exactly that happened instantly but the process is not like the clouds parted right you did your thing that's what I do when I'm just telling my story right and you know unicorns didn't come out like that but the awakening process happened and it was I just asked my wife recently who's happened to be in the studio to here today so look it's so good I asked her when we first met did I tell you my story and she was like no you didn't it was just kind of like you told me pieces like you know this thing happened and you know you started to do this and that but the story was still unfolding and it wasn't until I met her and then several years after when I actually saw that's when the transformation took place so I love that that you can and also bring in the past with you it's not like you cut ties right well you will I need that yeah that's the soil that this grew from Lisa grew from that soil yeah love that you know one of the things that I'm also hearing this story is something that we often do which you made a decision to follow a path to find happiness and to find success but so many of us postpone happiness right right can you talk a little bit about that absolutely we wait for a moment in time something has to happen in order for us to be happy and to me happy isn't something that you go and find you can't Google download happy I'm happy grows from you happy grows a moment and happiness isn't something you arrive at and it's a destination that you stay at happiness is something that you seek to evoke and emanate and grow and experience and touch as much as possible and you're willing to leave it to revisit it happiness comes in freedom see whenever something is rigid and it has to stay then you just left happiness because now you have to see it happiness happiness is a place that you move in and out of and expands and it contracts with you happiness is something you can measure I always say I'm as happy when I look at my child I'm as happy as his Saturday sometimes because he's my heart outside of me and so and then I detachment I let him define his happiness and I watch you know but there's never a moment I'm not connected to my child and so if he's going through a dark a part there's a part of me that is always with him you know so and happiness is not something that someone else can give to you happiness is not something your wife can give you happiness is something your wife can celebrate and elevate with you your children can celebrate and elevate with you happiness is something that you sit and you look at you touch you breed happiness is something you take a step away from and you look over there and say what makes me happy I just spent 32 days in Barcelona you had to wait so I came back right along to make this happen and I went to Barcelona for to put my life in three buckets to put my life in the first bucket was this makes me really happy and I want to live like I choose it you know how you can get to a place where things are coasting I don't want to coast if I'm madly in love with the time that I spend with my grandmother but I want to be madly in love with it when I see my grandma so last night before coming getting on the plane and coming to you I was in the living room dancing with my grandmother I put on some of her favorite songs you would be surprised my grandmother loved to pop in dren Alicia Keys I don't I don't understand it Hey but ain't no judgments all right my grandmother she's like which one you go put on baby I haven't heard - Paula right right right exactly she was she and I just danced with in the living room because that just brings a sense of joy that I can't explain I can't explain what dancing with my grandmother for me and and the second bucket so the first bucket is to choose what I want what I want in my life what I love in my life and then to reach use it powerfully and to let it be seen in evidence of how I show up with it that I chose it and I choose it versus just coasting the second bucket that I put my life in in Barcelona was I choose this but it needs modification it needs modification like I love it but in these modification because I'm tolerating some things in this experience that I would be happier if I didn't tolerate but I love I want it I just need modifications I need some things to shift I need some some experiences in this experience to shift and then the third bucket was I choose to release it that our time is complete the the experience of living in overwhelm the experience of saying yes when I want to say no the experience of one to be liked and loved by everybody the experience of opening my doors to everyone who do knocks on the doors as I need to come in the owning my know so that my yes can become more valuable the the experience of some people in my life that our season is complete like I put my entire life in three areas I choose you I choose you and I want to live like I chose you I choose you but I need to adjust this experience so I can feel better for the both of us at least for me I don't know how you do it but I need it to feel better and then I choose to release this behaviors thoughts actions and people so I spent 32 days in Barcelona having that experience so that I can keep revisiting happy and stay in and and live and not expecting happiness to always be there as prevalent as those moments when I'm dancing with my grandmother you know and to allow it to be fluid and flexible in my life and to allow happiness to move away from me at time so I can honor it and own it more yeah you know and not to expect and assume it makes so much sense I think that it's kind of ingrained in our culture because of movies and things like that we have these very romantic ideas of for example like the Jerry Maguire you complete me you know when we have to incomplete people getting two guys going to be some serious drama right yeah and not even putting that on another prank that we're responsible for on half price okay and I would all find perfection you said it earlier I love it we won't ever find perfection and it's a false hope that always leaves you lacking something but if you can find and discover how to perfectly work with your imperfection and what I've done in some days better than most and other day other days not so I've learned how to dance inside my imperfection I like that and so I loved when you were you open you open with that I love to us again because it allows us to be more more gracious with ourselves yeah I love those three buckets it reminded me of the bozo show do you remember that yes like the little game at the end I was like I'm going to get on there one day and I want to carbo-load the ball in the bucket yeah and then so of course is cancer shortly thereafter but think you know those three buckets we've been talking a lot and I've brought on some of the top people in the world just on exercising your no muscle yeah right so we talked with James Altucher wrote the book the power of no yeah the power of now and also Michael Hyatt in talking about having those those standards because the reality is I think one of our big issues is that we think we have more time than we do you know and to really take advantage of our life and this human experience and to have and to have our standards you know for what we're willing to take off or what we're willing to accept and for you know where we're headed and it's not that we don't love those situations those people the environment you know it's still gratitude there but you can't take everybody with you as well and everybody doesn't want to come right you know and I used to have this kind of mentality of like we're not leaving - everybody's on the past I might help everybody I'm I help you help yourself right yeah yeah and and the reality is is when you look at it when you look at why we do what we do like I love the study of the human mind I love the study of behavior right and and when we say yes we want to say no when our ego flexes it comes from four areas is what I've reduced and and when you realize that these four areas are fall and there's just false illusions that you made real then you operate differently so whenever my students step on my campus I say listen you're going to it's going to take you years to get to here but let's talk about where we want to get to I want to get to a place where you have nothing to prove you have nothing to protect you have nothing to hide and you have nothing to defend now each one of those are big because we live improving that we're smart enough proving that we're good enough women we want to prove that we're equal to men blacks want to prove they were just as smart as that white guy I mean it'll go it goes across cultural lines it goes across geographical lines it goes across economic lines we live improving but if you can begin and just start now I don't know when you'll get there but start now living like you have nothing to prove there's an elevated sense of freedom then if you can live like you have nothing to hide there are no secrets there's there are no skeletons in my closet because I open the closet door and I drag them all out and I brought them with me because when you get me you get that and I'm whole and complete with Who I am I've fallen in love with the darkest part of myself and when you can fall in love with the darkest part of yourself your insecurities your need to be loved you need to be approved you need to be embraced your your your your lack of clarity your dyslexia if you can fall in love with the darkest part of yourself and bring him or her with you into every experience not wearing and not putting out in front but just dumped by the way I went on a date one system and the first part of the desk so let me tell you all the stuff I don't want you to find out about me so I can not try to hide all that okay right and then you know then you fell in love tonight to figure that out I want to love though but but if you can bring that with you so there's nothing to hide the third is there's nothing to protect there's nothing to protect there's no image to protect you know now that my brand is you know a global brand you know there's always this conversation of brand management and I go let me have to always be a part of that conversation with my PR rep with my manager let me be a part because my version of brand protection e your idea of brand protection might be different and I'm committed to helping you see what's important to me because brand protection is not about hiding brand protection is not about defending brand protections about standing in moth into truth at all times you know so I have some help things I hope we'll talk about that I hire and health transition and that was a big deal conversation in my camp like how are you going to tell people and what's going to happen and like hold on the truth is sexy your truth is so sexy oh my god I'm so attracted to someone who says oh listen here my issues now if you can work with that we're cool like yeah like if you want like don't try to hide I'm just just tell me where we're working with and so nothing to prove nothing to check nothing to hide and nothing to defend there's nothing to discuss records are for it is because our natural ego wants to defend and our ego will rise up as I got this and it's your humanity and your humility and your servant leadership that will say hold on I'll take care of this and when you can apologize and fall on the sword on behalf of your brother your sister when you can love the proceeding the unlovable when you can love the proceeding Lea unlovable and you can forgive the perceiving Lea unforgivable that the society will give you permission to not forgive you forgive it anyway that the society will tell you you don't love that you love it anyway and you don't just love and forgive you love and forgive out loud that's when you have an elevated sense of freedom and that's when you become a change agent in your life your life has a timeline but your legacy doesn't I love that infinite you know what I want to do is help people to get to that place where they can employ these insights a little more readily so I'm going to talk about that and also your transformation to want to talk about that as well and we're going to do that right after this quick break so sit tight we'll be right back all right we are back and I am talking with the one and only Lisa Nichols and we were just going through some of her incredible insights on how to really make some changes to our inner game to really enjoy our life more to really experience more success and happiness and health and I feel that a big part of our struggles to have happiness to find success that we all really desire has to do with our lack of a sense of value you know and I feel that we continuously undervalue ourselves downgrade and degrade ourselves because we don't understand our inherent value and I would love if you could share any insights you have on how do we actually start to understand our value because I think that it's something that it's a really understand how much they matter right well I believe that in this climate and I think it happened it existed before or 15 years ago 20 years ago 50 years ago but now more than ever we listen to the noise that my grandmother says other people's perception of you and none of your business that who you woke up asked this morning has to be enough irregardless of the activities of the day and so if you look at who do I see myself before anything else happens am i whole and complete inside of my imperfections especially with social media you you look for the likes you know I was just saying in the message I was delivering the other day in church that my job your job is to get up and like you and every other like on Facebook is bonus but if she liked you first and I think the journey to liking you the journey to getting to that place that's where where everyone's seeking that's what people seek when they step on my campus that's what people seek and ideally we watch people get to that point when they study with us for a while and what that looks like is if you want to know my opinion the first thing to do is to become whole and complete with every decision you've ever made because we're holding ourselves hostage to our past decisions actions behaviors the things we did that we felt we shouldn't do and the things that we felt we should have taken a leap on that we didn't take a leap on so one become whole and complete with all of your past decisions because when you know more you do more and you made all your decisions based on what you knew at the time and you can't measure the man or woman you are based on the decision you made back then based on what you know now you didn't know then what you know now if I knew then at 29 what I know now at 51 excitedly my 51 I wouldn't have made those decisions but I knew what I knew and so I did what I did based on what I knew so one become whole and complete with your with all your decisions to recognize that forgiveness is not about partnering anyone else in your life decision is about opening up more internal real estate for love and possibility in yourself so I think forgiveness of yourself and forgiveness of others so if you ask me the two things one is to become wholly complete with your decisions in your actions from 20 years ago become whole and complete with those because you knew what you knew that's why you did what you did and to recognize that forgiveness it's not about partnering a behavior it's not about giving it's not about giving acceptance to what occurred it's about opening up more real estate in your body in your heart and in your soul for what's possible in the future because two things can't occupy the same space so where there's hate anger shame blame there cannot be love impossibility those two things if you just focus on those two things yeah I can give you a list of 12 things but those two can keep you busy right so laser focus we often operate like a floodlight trying to cover a whole lot of ground when we should up operate like a laser let me penetrate this let me master this let me heal this let me go back when I decided to heal my to forgive my son's father that's all I worked on for a year that's every exercise I did was about him because I don't want to keep touching it for the next ten years now I have a beautiful relationship with him I spotlight him at my conference I cut he calls me on the phone I tell constant from prison he calls on the phone I put him on the mic system I spotlight him he's written 14 books in prison like now I use him as the model example forget it down no matter where you are you know because I did the work I forgave myself I was in an abusive relationship where my fiancee at the time picked me up and threw me three feet across the room and then he choked me until I passed out thirteen years later I ran into him at a conference I used to couldn't go to his state I was so afraid that I would run into him and he's six nine three hundred and ten pounds he was huge so he was physically imposing as well as physically imposing in my life and I did the work on him I did the work on him for nine straight years nine straight years so when I ran into him not random he came to my conference I was very intentional he came to ask for my forgiveness and I said I needed to give myself life so I forgave you a long time ago for me so you just need to forgive you because I already did the work I had no angst or energy or anger around him I felt a little uncomfortable but I had no there was no residual anger because I loved I had to fall madly in love with Lisa the woman you see sitting here as simply the result of saying what does it look like to fall madly in love with me and not in a bragging way not in a way that screws on the other people in a way that I say every day i'ma give myself a chance every day every day I get to press reset I get to press reset a thousand times and when I get to 999 I get to press reset on the reset button and what happened if I did that and so you're right valuing who I show up to be means pardoning myself from all my choices that I've been judging and I patched shame around and then it also means forgiving myself and others for the times in which their actions didn't align with their heart I think it's those two things accepting it and and forgiving and those have been the two biggest things in my life you know when I actually that question I had no idea you were going to bring up forgiveness but it makes complete sense and you just broke it down why no I love the quote from Nelson Mandela when he says that caring resentment is like drinking poison and expecting it to kill you I mean is that no and so often we don't really because you don't know what you don't know you know paying attention to it we're carrying around this toxicity because our caring around hatred resentment yeah why me why they do this to me shame anybody not that it's not real it's not that it didn't happen yeah but we need to free ourselves right right you know energy goals or energy girl energy grows or energy goes and if you give that energy that just grows yeah I'm so glad that you brought that up and please everybody listening make sure to to take heed and she said it all so this is the practice you know sometimes forgiveness can happen in a smaller time period but sometimes it really does take a practice and keep continuing to bring it back up and working on it I'm so glad you brought that up as well now you also when you were talking you say 51 years old about choked on my swallow because I can't believe you know that really looks so good thank you now I think it was maybe maybe you somewhere around 10 years ago I first saw you in the secret a secret my mother-in-law gave us the movie and I remember mother-in-law yeah she is best she's the best and so you've had a physical transformation as well and I know that you know you mentioned earlier that even changing what's going on with your company in response to that transformation so I love to hear like what was the catalyst for you to make this transformation real um it was you know it's not a beautiful story you know it's not it's not a you know I decided one day I needed to check it's not it's not beautiful and and I got to tell you that this is the largest platform that I would share this in that's for I'm I know that I'm being called to share the story because because I I think that I will have a part in leading particularly women who are dealing with obesity to move away from that space I believe I'm not choosing that I'm gonna be very clear but I am obedient and so it just keeps coming up more and more more off by myself here on your show and on other shows and yesterday and the day before I was in Hollywood meeting with television producers and executives and you know the question is am I willing am I willing to share the store am I willing to go to this place my transformation came out of a severe sense of medical need so I what most people don't know about me is while I was making the 7 bestsellers either as a contributing author as a solo out there during that exact same time from 2000 to 2015 I was dealing with private medical hell and you know medical diagnoses and medical challenges are not something that it will find their way to the stage or to your books or to your your conversation effortlessly because they're so private and I don't ever talk about a battle that I'm still fighting I don't discuss battles that I'm still fighting I get to the other side and find out what was the lesson also to learn you know what was the defeat that I had or what was the victory I created and how did I get into that battle and not I get out now let's talk about it so I'm not one to because I don't have a 360 view on it yet I'm still in it so I'm skewed I'm skewed I just it's just and I was in this battle so I didn't talk about it much but I am I had a hormonal imbalance that caused me to have a cycle a menstrual cycle for 28 days out of the month which caused me to have to have six blood transfusions in three years which caused me to always have a low blood count which caused me to have a very slow metabolism which caused me to not burn fat and then I gained weight and then I had sleep apnea and my sleep apnea turned into a severe case of sleep apnea where the average person would with a very strong case of sleep apnea wakes up thirty times an hour that's a very extreme case I woke up 62 times an hour and so I travel all around the world I'm doing Chicken Soup for the Soul January 4th after American women so secret I'm with a CPAP and machine and am continuously gaining weight very athletic very working out you know eating clean and just just you know couldn't couldn't kick my metabolism a year and then after a while I didn't have the energy to work out I hadn't no energy to work out I didn't know that I hadn't got I hadn't gotten a good night of sleep in over ten years I didn't even know you know and you can be inside of yeah you can be inside of a a hell and not even know you're there because it's your norm yeah and so actually moving I didn't know I didn't know that I I was sleep deprived I didn't know that I was a danger to having a heart attack I didn't know that there was no way I was ever going to kick anything in gear because there was too many factors medically and you know add to it your ego our ladies mush ego that I didn't want to think about a medical challenge because I come from an athletic background here like I I'm a gladiator I go hard now go long you know I swim competition for nine years I did synchronized swimming for seven years I was a state champion for three years I was in like all this stuff I just kept feeding myself all this stuff to keep me stuck it was all just keeping me stuck and then one day after taking a series of tests I mean I took every test blood tests era dollars his hormone balances I did everything I just did the entire because I felt this is going to sound weird but maybe not to you I felt a form a form of life leaving me and it probably was just exhaustion all the time but I felt like I was never I would want to do this how we try to get get my head above water that wasn't there but I didn't understand I couldn't get a deep breath I couldn't understand his sleep for 10 hours and wake up exhausted and wait I just couldn't understand it I can do the CPAP machine and I couldn't and I just couldn't get around it but but I was I was grinding hard I was making that sellers I was on the stage with when Jack Canfield and Tony Robbins and Les Brown and but I I couldn't get this thing I just couldn't figure it out and so I took all these tests and I knew it was serious when my doctor said told my assistant Margaret who whom you met sit her down put her in front of a Skype I need an hour I just got off stage in Utah speaking in front of about 11,500 people 13 different countries 13 different languages so all this energy like right you know just energy signing about 375 books for hours just signing and smiling and posing aside just just energy right and then I go into this Presidential Suite sit down at this table turn on the Skype and literally my life is in front of me and she print she had Margaret print out this packet so I could see because people like me need evidence people like you need evidence I need facts right and she walked me through this 42 page report and in summary she said you're no longer obese you're morbidly obese I carried it you can look at all of it I carry it very well I'm proportioned well and I'm strong so that can be elusive and that could be misleading and I'm wildly successful with all this weight so back in his misleading so everything that was my advantage everything was the reason why I could go go go everything that was my pride and joy was now my enemy she said it's not a matter of she says you have severe sleep apnea you're over 210 pounds you don't have enough blood in your body you travel over 280 days out the year and your day at work is not sitting quietly producing something your day at work is lifting everybody else she said I'm gonna tell you something and I wouldn't tell anybody else and I'm a tell you this because I saw you speak i'ma tell you this because I sit in your audience I'm gonna tell you this because I read your books and I need you to get it she said it's not a matter of if you will have heart attack it's a question of where will you be she said will you be on stage will you be in a hotel room by yourself will you be 30,000 feet in the air or will you be with your child she said let me take away any wonder if you don't do anything we will all lose you and for two years because I'm stubborn and I got a big ego for two years I tried to unknown what she taught me here for two years I tried to act like she don't know she don't know and then it hit me in November of 2015 how selfish I was being how selfish I was being at the chance that I would take this message that God brought to me away from people I would take myself away from my son because of something as small as my ego how selfish was I and then I was embarrassed at myself so I ran to the doctor like I ignore it for two years and then I ran to the doctor with this apologetic energy like I'm late I was told this two years ago I need help she said I'm on the doctor time I recommend something I don't recommend you need a boost you need a medical booth so you need medical help to get the boost in not to lose the weight by yourself because you don't have enough sleep you need more sleep to get the energy you need more weight loss to lose a sleep apnea is just this cyclical cycle that that unfortunately you fell in and you need help so I went to a doctor that did gastric bypass and I said here is my sleep apnea report I'm not sure if I qualify because I was right on the borderline and he said miss Nichols it normally takes us six to prove someone because you got to be psychological you got nutritionists he said we will get you in in 32 days because you are walking heart attack waiting to happen and we need to start the weight loss so that we can get all we can just balance you out and I know there's a hundred different ways you want to do it when I cried every day up for 32 days until I got on the table because I my Eagle didn't want to do it and I felt like it was another way and I just don't know about it and then every day I thought I was on borrowed time I was on borrowed time and so my weight loss started with that surgery and then I was I jumped in immediately as soon as I couldn't got responsible eating was not a challenge I've always ever the years I've eaten clean that was not a challenge when I got into the exercise I got into the movement which was not a challenge because I've always lived very physical and then I dealt with a year and a half of shame behind having the surgery I mean fear shame now I'm telling you 2015 December 16th 2015 - May 3rd 2016 so you know that was like yesterday I dealt with severe shame I felt like I cheated you know cuz ego your ego said there's only one way I I was meeting with a very well-known television network that we all know two days ago and they asked me about my transformation and I shared with them a little bit of what I'm sharing with you and it was easier because I it was just three people in the room and she said well did you feel she was trying to find the sensationalism of a story writer and what I don't do is I don't do entertainment I don't do empty entertainment I'm a transformational person there's enough entertainment in our real drama and so I can tell her I can tell she was trying to find the sizzle and I said she was so did you feel like you were a fake when you were gone say just said absolutely not that I stand by everything I've ever said that simply was my private hell and I didn't have to share that that's my private life and because I am a public servant and teacher does not mean that I don't get to have my private experiences and I don't talk about a darkness I don't talk about a battle that I'm in the middle of because as a shepherd and this is my role everyone has their role but as a shepherd of transformation and healing I would be irresponsible to still be in my hurt and pain and bring you there with me and not know how we gonna get out and I needed to go through it and be able to turn around and look at it just to sit here with you and have this conversation from the other side to go here's what happened here's how I got there I couldn't tell you my ego got me there when I was still there I was justifying my ego right right my ego had a good reason my ego looked like my purpose and my ego my ego was sexy it was it was protecting me it was defending me was keeping the camouflage on so I wouldn't have been any service anyone I would help more people stay in their hell had I talked about it while I was still in it and so um I had to get to the other side and and then for the year after I dealt with the shame and it had been it literally had been so long since I had shame live with me I passed those shameful moments and like check out hold on wait a minute I do my work because I know the work to do to release shame guilt anger resentment I know the work I teach the work I live the work I'm a student of the work and I wake up and the shame will be with me and I call you here again I be on stage and the shame will be with musical what what is this and everyone on Facebook was talking about my body so here I was in this personal private health hell that no one knew about and no one had to know about making bestsellers and transforming lives and touching millions of people doing it with this with me and then I go through this transformation very difficult to go through and all of a sudden the very thing that's a prime most private part of my life is the most public and talked about things without me discussing it so if you go back click a year on Facebook I never talked about my health everyone's like oh my god you look amazing which and every time someone say what you do I don't know you know because I wasn't at peace yet with my journey and then because I'm so athletic and and and you know muscle has a memory here I and I my I didn't do any skin grafting my stomach is completely flat my arms you know I got a little girl right here there you know and and so now it just elevated the conversation right oh my god it's the gun show I do the Lisa Nichols show on YouTube it's the gun show it's not the Lisa Nichols show I'm like oh my god come on guys and so um I had to make a decision do you live with the shame are do you make the most private part of your life public like I told no lie so I didn't have anything to clean up but do you make the most private part of your life and I knew that I couldn't make a portion of it public I had to tell you how I got to the to the surgery table because you taught you said in your intro you said what you say about it's an inter yeah working in and not just working oh my god that's so beautiful that's such a beautiful statement oh my god that's so beautiful and if I am NOT the poster child of like it was like it was like in in and out out in in out in I had to let them dance together and then I have to take them public yeah I'm just I mean so grateful because I didn't know Dori you know and I was and the fact that you're sharing it here with us I moved it with knees knocking by the way with knees knocking and teeth chattering so many people listening are going to be able to identify with this and its really you said it earlier like it would be selfish of you to not share it be selfish of you to not do something to make sure that you're still here and sharing your gift and I want to unpack a couple of things for people because again people listening there are people in similar situations you know I get these messages everyday and not understanding that you can literally you can overreach away fat you can under move your way fat you can over stress your way fat and you can understand as well and this is the big gap and why I decided to put so much time and energy into getting this message out you know because it's that missing component I'm a nutritionist you know so what is it and I was like food is everything whatever but it just wasn't and seeing the stories and having people coming into my office and it wasn't until it took about five years for me to actually look at the people who work in the results everybody else was getting what's going on denominator what's going on with their sleep and it blew my mind and you know seeing so many times what you mentioned earlier this vicious cycle that takes place because you need to sleep in order to lose weight you need to lose weight in order to sleep so how are we going to address this and there are ways to stack connection in your favor sometimes and this is part of the model health show is that you have to understand everything is an option Twinkie is an option if it is zombie apocolypse and you come into a 7-eleven right and you need something to eat Twinkie is going to last for a little while however we want to not affect they never go away because they're artificial they will exaggerate Winky will outlive me right you'll be Twinkies I autism right right but the fact is that you know we need to steer on the side of what our genes expect us to do to start with you know but sometimes we found ourselves in a complicated spot where we might need this or that maybe it's an antibiotic treatment you know we talked about the dangers of antibiotics here on the show but sometimes and I in a spot instance we just don't want to live reliant on that right so once we get to that taste side exactly that was the work that I yeah you know and so for you to regain that fitting in at athletic yeah identity that yeah that you were carrying which is so powerful is it's really a remarkable story and at this point thank you for saying that I just want I want to pause you to thank you for saying that because I've worked through the first four layers layers of shame and and it's a progress but I'm grateful when I hear nutritionists and fitness experts align with you may need a jumpstart in my bag and my travel bag stays my protein bars and my protein powder and the life I live today is the life that I'm supposed to live and the me that I am today is the woman that's been waiting to come out for 15 years and I needed a particular path to help jumpstart that and then to become responsible for my emotional being my financial lifestyle in my physical awareness so thank you for that because I'm strong and I'm emotionally healthy and if I struggle with it like that yeah and what are my sisters and what are my brothers doing who may not be in the work like this so I just want to thank you and hold the space for those of you who are listening who are walking into this you know I always say where there's evidence there's truth and let there be evidence that there are multiple ways to get to where you need to get to and if you are willing to do something you've never done before you'll get something you've always wanted to get yeah when that's what I was that's what I had to do I'd love to talk now about what what are you what are you doing now because again you're 51 can you look I mean I was like you know she's maybe you know late thirties maybe a man but you just mentioned you know and you travel obviously a tremendous amount you know that even the average traveler is like times 10 and you mentioned you know carrying along your protein bars your protein powder so what are some of the things that you're doing now I bring my lifestyle with me like I I don't there is no excuse there's no excuse for me to be healthy and to choose healthy I bring my lifestyle with me as much as I can I I learned a while ago that as long as I got my bodyweight I got weight because I would go to a reference in a hotel room in a hotel and I go to the gym and everyone at the conference was in the gym and pepsin on my vagine taking pictures on treadmills with my hand scarf on you know cuz I'll go to the gym looking hot you know I go to the gym ready to get my workout on yeah you on Instagram looking like looking like a hot mess right and everyone just in their comments they're posting before I get out the gym you know so I stopped going to the gym and in hotels because I just couldn't go to the gym and so I learned that my body weight is enough weight so my arms exist from push-ups like I can always do a push-up I can always do a plank okay so so several things and please write this down because I last year if you're listening last year I travel 310 days out the year on average I'm in 8 to 13 different countries and over the course of a year I just got back from Barcelona before that it was Buddhist Budapest and before that it was Ireland all before May you know and before the end of the year I'll do Barcelona again I'll do London I'll do South Africa so my excuses for not working out consistently are sexy yeah like they're like the count excuses even the trainers ago okay right right I can't beat that right so I have to be really aware that I have to bring my lifestyle with me so number one I am never without nutrition I'm never without protein I'm never stuck to where I have to get that whatever I Krispy Kreme yeah right not even an option the night when I saw people standing in line for Krispy Kreme at 5 in the morning I decided I'm never going to go because I might love that doughnut so I stay away from things that don't speak life into my body I don't Dibble and dabble a little bit because I have an extremist behavior so number one I have to know me yes I don't ever do it a spoon or anything I'm going to give me a big gulp of whatever so I got a big gulp right things right I spend my time and my energy and things that's going to feed my future so I believe that my body and my mindset and how I feed is being responsible to my future I have a large large calling on my life I have a big purpose and it's my job to take care of the temple that's going to live out my purpose so my body is not just my body holding up my head like it used to be my body is the instrument living out my life so I think the first thing is to understand the life's purpose understand you don't understand it in his holdings because by the way it's going to change so my purpose my purpose 20 years ago is different than my purpose now it's revealing itself to me in different forms and in 20 years I'm gonna be doing something different than I'm doing now and I even have a glimpse of that you know so so allowing it to unfold in seasons right and then to be responsible to take care of the instrument that's going to get you to your life's purpose and so I carry my life with me I'm comfortable in my know I'm okay with being radical I'm okay with making both outrageous requests of me and people around me and the universe on behalf of me being able to live out my life's purpose because a part of its understanding and not and I say this and not an ego way are ladies in a she go away that that to understand my contribution is so necessary but I have to be willing to be a stand for myself I took me years ago I gotta be willing to not only celebrate my yes but own my know to not only dance hard in the middle of the day but also required that I get my sleep to not only be willing to be radical inside a service but also know when I need to refill my tank because I don't do you any good serving you from a half I haven't because I don't even want my cup half full when I serve you I didn't come here I didn't fly into you on a half empty cup I came to you in my overflow I'm serving you right now from my saucer that's your responsibility and so when you look at it that way that my body is the instrument living out my life's purpose it's not just about having not having love handles it's not just about having great quads and great abs and great legs or looking 30 like looking like I'm 35 39 or 40 that's a benefit but the but the true gift is that I can go hard for the next 25 years that you can sit down i'ma tell you to get up like that's my intention is it oh come on Shawn we still got something to do like I don't because because the purpose is so big do you know what I mean and so when you look through your perfect weight and when you attach yourself to something bigger than you but the Twinkie is interrupting the perp this the Krispy Kreme is interrupting the divine assignment on your life see I don't choose I don't choose things that's not going to serve my body not because because because I'm going to be honest I'm not like you I don't miss the gym when I'm not in it is that ideas his body he feels a little off if you don't get I'm dust on me I don't miss the gym I can I miss being able to live out my life's purpose and hopefully in the path that I'll start missing the gym like I I my friends I friends ago I'm not in the gym in three days it feels where I'm like I'm waiting to get there I'm not there yet but I'm working out because my body has to keep up with the divine assignment on my life as the divine assignment unfolds itself to me so I don't see the whole thing I don't see the whole thing they're like oh you see oh no no I just see the next two feet I see the next 200 feet I don't know what mm you couldn't have told me 20 years ago I'd be one of the featured teachers in the secret you can told me 15 years ago that I'd have seven bestsellers you couldn't have told me that I would have reminded you that I gotta fail in English you could have told me 10 years ago that I would be one of the most recognized speakers internationally in Slovenia and Kazakhstan and Kiev I would I don't know what I'll say just work about fail geography you doesn't told me right and so your assignment is unfolding itself your contribution to the plan is unfolding itself in seasons as you can digest it because the universe knows God whatever you want to call it knows you can't even handle knowing everything that you're gonna do but here's what I do know I need to be ready this body this temple needs to be ready to do it so I know my life is not a race it's a marathon so when you think like that you desire to do the stuff begins to fall away because I'm constantly attaching myself to something greater but greater but the same thing is emotionally I also don't attract drama no one brings drama to me ever ever that when a whisper about people are like showing here she wanted me so so it's holistic it's full its behavior and it's habits and its mindset so my cousin's when we're at a barbecue and they're doing that they're talking about stuff and I come on which I wonder my girl you know what everybody I know I'm only but no really you don't want to hear about it because you're not time for that you doing big stuff oh yeah you're right if it's small you right I don't matter of fact on my TV my goddaughters in my house for a while and she was looking at crazy so I say but that energy can't be in my eyes babe because I'm concentrating on what I'm doing next to my house that's distracting me so as mindset to it's it's so so I do i I do a number of different things but I really keep my mind in the place that's gonna gonna gonna require me working in a good guy I require me and then you know I'm dating right I'm single so so he don't think I'm saying I'm still deciding if I'm making a decision right on soon I'm in the side so anyway I'm not married so it on my date I shipped it as I was dating to go you so here the thing they said what do you love to do on the phone you know you get to know from under God their price oh my god right and and for a long time I wasn't dateable so I was okay I chose single because everything in me was birthing a man-child and raising a man-child and birthing a purpose in raising a business and I didn't have anything else left so I consciously chose let me get these two things out my son is now 23 graduate of Lakota like Cordon Bleu Culinary Institute my business has his legs now I go okay now I'm ready for that because I want to put it I want to put all in when I put in so but now I am side my dates there's a parameter how I date I date hiking I date skating I date biking so I date walking on the beach I have all the ways I date and this is all definitely not interesting great this was quick and easy right so freaking ease is like it right because I date active because I live active because that's who I am that's watching so I set my lifestyle up to be in alignment with my intention on every level I put a gym in my office drove my CFO crazy like we need to face find us somewhere else that's going to be a full-fledged gym full-fledged him now we have motivational workout Monday's in my office I'm not there and you can look at they will Facebook live it every Monday full-on workout for 45 minutes in my office everywhere for my see up everybody for my CFO to my CEO to my assistants working on my they don't have to but you choose i'ma create the environment for you to live i'ma pay for your health benefits but I'm also gonna pay to help you get healthy yes I just designed my lifestyle around it what you did obviously with changing us selphie changed the culture yes around you and it begins to just trickle down and it's so amazing to hear this and also you know some people will be like well I can't do that there are pieces you shared on multiple different areas that people can do you know you have a body and so just becoming more physically literate is what I call it you know understanding you don't need a gym you've got that amazing body and you can find various ways to use then of course we talked about that multiple times in the show but as you can think about how can you integrate more health and fitness into your life so it's just a part of the environment it's my life and like it is not the I used to think of as the extra yeah they are my life this is this is check my life is living in this body this is the Machine this is this is the the machine in the temple that I was given I was blessed with an operational system that's asking me to invest in it so I can live out my divine life purpose that like if I just look at it like that there's an obligation you gotta pull me hard so I'm not like I don't I don't do taps like this well like I won't even fill it in like with like you got to stop me like I freight train me like that's just how I learn but once I get it you're not to worry about it i'ma live like I know the worst thing you can don't do is know something and live like you don't know it I said that's so that's robbery that's right right I think so right here see you get off if you don't know what to do right you get off of you don't know it I didn't know it okay but when you know it and you live like you don't know what you have to keep relearning it because you're because because the university you know you notice so let me give it to you again that's how we end up saying how do I end up here again right the answer is you live in like you didn't know it you live it like you didn't love it so I got to keep giving you this financial right now I got to keep giving you this relationship break down until you live like you know I got to keep giving you this physical breakdown until you live like you know it and so I'm a I'm a I'd like to believe I'm a good teacher but I am a phenomenal student yeah I'm a better student than I'm a teacher all day long I go okay universe when I was on Oprah I said I always ask God got what lesson awesome in this situation and she goes I asked the same thing I was like well I know I'm asking a certain man there you go alright let's go am I to learn and then live like I got the lesson otherwise I got to get the lesson again and then to recognize that you have to be willing to evict and I say evict because the eviction is it's over it's done get out if Victor's are strong where to even say it's not evict yeah I guess just have it you have to be willing to evict any part of your thinking that doesn't align with where you're going so that's where you I do this exercise I recommend if you're listening do this exercise I do this exercise called expose the lies I get a pencil and a red pin and a lot of paper and then pencil I write down every lie I'm telling myself that don't nobody else here but I know it because I'm with me and I write down all my lies around money all my lives around relationship all my lives around my my physical appearance all my lives around my family all my and I have a lot of them because the bigger you play the more lies you have by the way so don't get all caught up beating yourself up if you only if you have seven pages of lives the bigger you play the bigger you'll break down bottom line just be okay with that if you ain't having breakdowns you any plan big enough your job is to walk through them breakdowns right people sitting on the couch every day watching whatever Housewives of somebody they're not having a lot of breakdowns because they're not up to a lot that's okay no judgment so I would write down all my lies in pencil and I was sitting I'm prying ugly-cry down my life and I'd put this in my first book write down the life expose alive in pencil right now you're the example of a lie oh yeah money is hard to make yes I feel it well poem like I never should have a long-lasting love I make too much money from mentor to to really see me as their equal and to really value me and to get into a loving relationship my family will always think that I'm different because I travel the world and I'm around a lot of white people all done you know like all the stuff is stupid stupid self but it's true it's in your head it's the chatter in your head going on in here all the time you know it's my children like all the alternative facts today right here right yeah right but we all tell ourselves he's lying to expose him I love that is so because in your head they got a lot of power because they're just between these ears in your head but in out here in the world they're so small you go as you're writing a lie you're laughing like I'll write right I know it's so stupid but it has it it has value and empower in your head so I've been doing this for years all my students who stopped on my campus I go come on y'all let's do it foes alive and so we just write write in pencil you write the lie in pencil and you skip for you skip four lines if it's online paper or you skip a space if it's on blank paper and then you write another lie and we'll just sit quietly for like 45 minutes everybody like uh like I put on some like nice healing music because you don't feel like you're sledging through your mud and then you feel like a fraud and you feel shame do you feel guilt and you write these lies and feels ugly then I say get out the red pen and now write the truth and everyone gets stuck I don't know what the truth is okay but you knew that was a lie because you wrote it down you chose you chose it as a lie so that means there is a truth that exists out there somewhere you don't have to believe the truth today but you know that there is a truth because you identified that as a lie so write the truth where you whether you can own it now or not so then everyone is writing the truth in red ink then I tell them for one day read the lie in the truth to lie in the truth together because neuro linguistic programming says that if you do an association your mind will naturally jump to the Association so the last time you told yourself that lie there was nothing there to counter it with but the next time after reading lai truth lie to lie to lie truth right you do that if you really want to seem it that you do it three times the next time you read the lie your brain will naturally see the truth in that red ink juicy stuff so then you read the library the lie the truth so that now you have an association with the truth the next time the light comes up right then the final step is you take an eraser a big eraser and you race all the erase all the lies is written in pencil and so I do that I would constantly do that I've done that exercise for like the last nine years I'm consistent to do it I used to do it once a month the stuff will come up and now I do it like every eight nine months I just write okay one of my life what am I live you know I'm in a new relationship okay new lies just came up over Lulu you know and of course I'm in a relationship this international so he's in another country so I'm like I can't make an international relationship work okay that's the lie now what do I need what's the truth you know the truth is I can make anything work because I have time freedom space freedom and financial freedom what are you talking about you yeah all right no as we and you said it you know as you grow and evolve it becomes more you get more of that you know vig said more money more problems you know but really as we grow and achieve more success it's easy to start coasting so to do this practice to keep yourself accountable so you can keep reaching your potential which is limitless yeah I really love that and you know there's a term for that as well as called akrasia it's where we work against our better judgment where we work against our knowledge of what actually is true yeah and so often we will fight we will fight to protect our lives yes right and so when we wake up to that week right now my house break down the relationships break down the job we will it will all go to crap to protect our lives and time is what I want people to understand is that time is going to pass anyways right so you might as well spend your time working on your truth right on the lie well in the truth is sexy the truth is attractive if you look at my brand but my brand is not a brand of protection my brand my brand is a brand of truth it's a brand of transparency someone saying what if they find this out about you I said well if they tell the story wrong I'm a corrective and tell the story right like I don't know if you remember way back in the day you might not know I don't know how old you may not know but way back in the day the field Donna Donahue show used to come around and and and Phil Donnie used to bust people out he loved busting people out but you'd have someone on stage saying yeah you know I stopped drinking 20 years ago and now I live a clean life and then feel say well you know what we happen to have on the phone I want it within the bar with you laughing like this Neil Tommy would bus people out and I always said I will never have a Phil Donahue moment because I'm going to sit on stages that I had a drink last week but today is a new day can I get a new chance like that's why I choose to be which is why I knew last year on my conference I stood in front of about 1100 people between those who are live in my room and those who were online and I shared the story of my health journey and I shared my that I had surgery because I wanted to I wanted to share my truth and I wanted it to come from me and at the time I wasn't ready for it to be public and I asked everyone in that conference was about 600 people in the room and about another 700 people online I said could we just keep this between us right now I know I'm ready do you know it's been a year and a half not one person has mentioned it online that's amazing and that amazing it not barriers when you share your truth and here's what the laughing on that I want to share with you is people want to be convenient they want growth and convenience they want expansion and convenience and the moment it becomes challenging they want to quit my grandmother says baby she starts every sentence with baby I'm sure it's because she can't remember anything follow us this is baby your conviction and your convenience don't live on the same block she said you have to be willing to be mildly to moderately to significantly inconvenience for that thing that you have a conviction for that thing that you're passionate about or at least tell the truth and say you really didn't want in the first place but don't sit here and complain and then quit when it gets hard because everything on the other side are your possible is everything on the other side of what you thought was possible is the impossible waiting to happen in your life but you will never find your next best version of you sitting inside your comfort zone so I'm amazed at how many people come to me and they tell me the list of what they want then when I give them the what to do they go where that's hard and then I look at and you know me I'm Angie I just give them a look I said did you think I was going to give you the easy route not in and I don't know for myself there's no easy in transformation but you can just you can decide what you want to call difficult see I I welcome challenging because I know when I do that thing I don't want to do and I say that thing I don't want to say I act the woman I've always known myself to be I almost did ever start clapping yes yes right right right so I'm constantly people ask what was it like I was in a constant discomfort for 12 years a constant discomfort constant inconvenience like think about it sign up for being inconvenienced I'm a sign up for being inconvience because I want the I want the lifestyle I want the fact that at age 10 I was able to take my son to South Africa and he stood on the top of this mountain that he thought was the tallest mountain in the world because that's that same baby that I couldn't put pampers on and he still on top of the Mount with no front teeth and he says mommy I'm on top of the tallest mountain in the world I still have that memory burned in my head so for the inconvenience of eating beanies and weenies every day of the week for three years for the inconvenience of getting free turkey at Christmas of that New Year's and standing in that line fill in both gratitude and shame I'll do it over again every time to watch that child have a future that he deserved but and I'm willing I can have access to it yeah all day I'm just blown away of course I knew that you know you're obviously an exceptional human being but you're somebody who reminds us that we are as well and just one final quick thing I like for you to share is what is the model and you've already shared many pieces of this but what is the model that you were setting with the way that you're living your life personally I mean you should ask that question that is so funny Shawn in 1992 I named my company I went down to the business Better Business Bureau thing and my friend was with me and I said what was the name gonna be she said I don't know I don't know either she said well what do you want to do I said I want to inspire people she said to do what I said to live their best life she said well how you doesn't know motivate them she goes well who you motivate I said everybody she said like the masses I took the masses she's a long we called him motivated amasses I said okay then she said what do you want to be I said when it comes to possibility healing hope and getting up I want to be the standard by which other people measure possibility and no one has ever asked me that question but I never forgot my answer when she asked me because everything I wanted to do was living into that intention of I want I want what I do the company the conversation to be the standard by which what meant what possibility and healing is measured by determination and resiliency see I'm not the fastest kid on the team I'm not the smartest cookie in the cookie jar I'm not I'm not the cutest girl in line I'm not but what I do have is more resiliency and determination than most I'm not the one that's been able to dodge the bullet I've been hit by the bullet but I'm the one who was willing to love the shooter that's the distinction I'm not the one who got the hook I'm the one who's willing to keep getting up and if you're willing to keep getting up you won't ever be afraid of being knocked down and if you're not afraid of not being not down then you will give yourself permission to fly failure is my friend failure is my friend because I've learned how to fell forward darkness keeps me company because I've learned how to walk through it I never take out real estate in my darkness so I'm not afraid of doctors so when you get to that place then then everything is free game is complicit are you wake up and saying okay what Dex bring it on because I fell I fell today I'm okay with that I'll fail for I'll go through darkness today okay because there's light on the other side now you taking out real estate I ain't even take our lease lease option to buy I ain't even doing a rent to own in my darkness I'm gonna keep going so now you welcome it all in 1990 to us and I want to be the standard by what that possibility represents and I don't need to be a celebrity I want to be very clear I never ever asked to be a celebrity the most uncomfortable time in my life was when the secret came out cuz it made me I was on Oprah and I was on Larry King uh although I was okay leading from behind you know so then I had to get comfortable oh this is a byproduct of doing my work because a byproduct of doing the work be okay with this so that's okay I say yes to that too and so yeah thank you very question now it has to be one of the best answers that I've ever heard and Lisa if you could please let people know where they can connect with you online I know you've got some programs you you know you kept mentioning your students so please let everybody know I was funny this is always awkward and I never come with that in mind thank you for allowing me you would go to as you know my name motivating the masses calm and my request is that you you jump into something that's a baby step you know give yourself a small yes we always try to go for the big yeses and the big things I want to go a thousand miles just walk 10 feet with me and if it feels right and walked in more feet with me and my goal is to walk hand in hand with people who want to transform their future into something barely recognizable because that's what I was able to do and I believe that this is it just for some of us that abundance is our birthright it's our birthright regardless of our culture our religious background or comic status or geographical origin our physical appearance that abundance is our birthright it's not just for some people it is in fact for everyone it's not a myth it's a possibility and it won't ever come to your door delivered by UPS or FedEx you got to get up you got to flex your muscles build the muscles that are in atrophy whether it's your quat your truck your quads your triceps your abs or your financial muscle your forgiveness muscle your emotional muscle your faith muscle you got to build your muscles that aren't atrophy so you can have the life that you deserve and no one's going to do your sit-ups for you but you you are and have always been your own rescue I know I know for certain just having the opportunity to to meet you and to see how much you give and even the overcoming obstacles going to the darkness to even get here today this is just remarkable and I'm very grateful for you but so we got motivating the masses calm people can find you and I'm finding you here and everybody else is finding you here on the model health show and I just want to thank you that having me and there's a lot to be here oh it's totally my pleasure and from my heart to yours I acknowledge you and I'm so grateful for all of the times that you said yes to your mission despite the circumstances and thank you for coming in inspiring everybody today I appreciate it you're welcome John I want to acknowledge you I want to acknowledge you for being a stand for people in possibility I'll acknowledge you as a man as a son as a father as a husband and as a brother that when you decide to Shepherd people and you decide to be a part of the solution the conversation the possibility that comes with a heavy mantle it's not easy because you have to choose to be the conversation the dark of the night when looking on the days that it doesn't feel good in order to sit in front of the camera in front of the mic and serve from your overflow so I'm honored I'm honored that you would find value in what I say and what I bring enough to ask me to come but I'm more honored to walk the planet at the same time as you and it encourages me as a mother of a son it encourages me as a sister of a brother as a daughter of a man to sit in the space with you it really does I've been sitting here basking in who you are basking in you as a husband seeing your wife and seeing her and loving her and honoring her and as a father I've been just allowing it to sit up with me and serve me selfishly while we are in this time so I'm honored to know you and honored to be with you thank you I have the truth bumps thank you so much I appreciate you immensely Lisa everybody thank you so much for tuning in and spending this time with us make sure like yesterday go and check out motivating the masses calm connect with Lisa follow her online and check out her amazing talks all over the interwebs I'm so grateful for you tuning in with me and sharing your time I know how valuable you are and your time and hopefully today you start to understand more about how valuable you are and one of the big things that I want you to take away from today and that Lisa shared is we're all going to go through tough spots we're going to go through darkness but we keep moving forward you know we don't want to take up real estate there and the upside-down I shout out to everybody watching stranger things but we don't want to take a real estate in this in this darkness because this is not where we're supposed to live and to just keep moving forward and one of the big things is understanding that some of the greatest stories I really think that you're in process right now if you find yourself in struggle in challenge you're in process and it's going to be a great story for you to share to help others and this is why you cannot stop you keep moving forward and thank you for making me a part of your life and allowing me to serve and to give my gift and I promise we've got some amazing amazing episodes coming up with some just incredible guests and incredible show topics but none more important than today with the one and only Lisa Nichols I appreciate you so much for tuning in take care have an amazing day and I'll talk with you soon [Music] you [Music]

Channel: The Model Health Show

Views: 229,904

Rating: 4.8751626 out of 5

Keywords: Lisa Nichols, The Model Health Show, Motivation video, Shawn Stevenson

Id: RTregJr4EUI

Length: 88min 54sec (5334 seconds)

Published: Sun Aug 06 2017