The Six Christmas Movies You Live Through

this is you this is your holiday you understand it's not for everyone but you like it okay and these are the six Christmas movies you'll live through you feel like you just ate Lucky Charms for six weeks straight only the marshmallows of course why sleep there's no school every meal is followed by cookies every cookie is followed by toys ethics aside scientists say a dozen four-year-olds under the influence of Christmas could Power Missouri for the next five hundred years all your favorite people love this holiday the Turtles Pikachu Phineas Ferb John McClane even Sponge Bob they all have Christmas specials because Christmas is the [ __ ] best you let him watch die hard yeah it's a classic then suddenly it's no longer okay to spend all day eating frosting in your pajamas suddenly you're a small adorable prop in somebody else's movie this suit pitches these are not cookies this is not donkeys Christmas Shrek tacular good Christmas stories of dinosaurs in 3d were made after God invented color how could a Christmas like this be fun for anybody when did your Christmas turn into a series of broad comedic set-pieces the alcoholic relatives the obnoxious neighbors the inevitable decoration related accidents it might be funny on a screen somewhere actually wasn't really that funny there either this holiday is just a cynical cash grab with no real heart two thumbs down total waste of time well maybe not a total waste you should probably take him to the hospital you never thought this would be your type of movie to average young people to successful charismatic beautiful young lovers who are also good at sex and cooking and Scrabble brought together by some holiday coincidence fall madly deeply perfectly in love also the guy secretly fights space crime but there's always that stupid second act holiday stress leads to fractures fractures become cracks and cracks threatened to split the whole thing apart I want you to show up for dinner on the night of our anniversary this is the movies it always works out it works out doesn't it you know this one right it's the story of a successful hard-working man who can't get any work done because his stupid friends and family keep bothering him mom I can't talk right now I can't because I have a job you sent presents for dad you even found that Japanese thing that makes coffee and lentils at the same time what more do they want sure you can't afford any distractions not now at least there's really no such thing as ghosts from the past Merry Christmas this last movie isn't great umm the hell is a EB the cinematographer clearly has no idea what he's doing the actors missed their cues stammer through their lines act without any clear motivation Oh still it has a certain charm to it and authenticity it's not perfect it's not beautiful sometimes there's cue [ __ ] but it's always yours Merry Christmas

Channel: CollegeHumor

Views: 7,694,302

Keywords: collegehumor, ch originals, christmas, the six, josh, girls, funny, comedy, sketch, Rudolph

Id: us6u7PAdluE

Length: 4min 1sec (241 seconds)

Published: Fri Jan 20 2012

Reddit Comments

[u/SeeYouSpaceCorgi]

It might be funny on a screen somewhere.... actually it wasn't that funny there either.

God, so true.