(ominous music) - [Rich] How long has that light been on? (yelling)
Oh, God, oh, no. (laughing) You're still here.
- [Larry] She's in her cell. - Yeah, you have me trapped
behind this forcefield, duh. - [Rich] Yes, that's right. The forcefield is still up. - [Larry] Nothing's gone
wrong, so stay right there. - Wait, is the forcefield down? - [Larry] What?
- [Rich] What? - [Larry] No. - [Larry] That is crazy. - [Rich] Definitely not. - Because the forcefield
makes a noise when it's on. (buzzing) No, it was more of a hum. (humming) - [Rich] See, it's perfectly normal. (inhaling)
(humming) - Did the forcefield
just stop for a breath? - [Rich And Larry] No. (humming) - [Rich And Larry] No. - [Rich] Your hand will melt.
- [Larry] Explode, melt. - Melt? The old forcefield never did that. - [Rich] It's a new setting. Vaporize.
- [Larry] Destructinate. - What the hell's destructinate? - [Larry] Why don't you
touch it and find out? (laughs)
- Okay. - [Rich And Larry] No. - [Larry] Don't touch the field. That was reverse psychology. - What's reverse psychology? Touching it or not touching it? - [Larry] Touching it.
- [Rich] Not touching it. - [Larry] Sorry, sorry. - [Rich] We need a system here. - [Mr. Kankerschmidt] Are
our forcefield's down? - [Rich] No, Mr. Kankerschmidt. Your forcefield's fine. Just like this one, which
isn't making any noise. (humming) So, just hold tight and the forcefield repairman will be here. - Why? - [Rich] To congratulate us on keeping the forcefield running. Yay.
(humming) - Okay, I believe you. I won't touch the forcefield. (sighing) - [Larry] You promise? Okay, oh, wait, (beep). (alarm blaring) (humming) - [Rich] Not helping. (whooshing) (ominous music)
- [Mother] Are you gonna be-- - [Rich] Yeah, mom, I'll be home in time for the annual reed feast. I've already booked my
shuttle back to Daloron. - [Mother] I love you.
- [Rich] I love you, too. Say hi to Laura for me. Hello? Oh, she hung up. - [Larry] Wait, you're from Daloron? - [Rich] Yeah, yes. - [Larry] Oh my God, I work with someone from the Swamp Planet? - [Rich] Why does everyone call it, it's a planet with one
or two famous swamps. - [Larry] What was it like
growing up in a mud hut? - [Rich] We have other ecosystems. Mountains, fields, outlet malls. - [Larry] How'd you get
to school? Bark canoes? Back of a swamp snail? - [Rich] No, like everyone else. In hover cars. - [Larry] Is it true you
guys all have egg sacs? Take off your pants. - [Rich] I'm not taking off my pants. - [Larry] We got a swamp monster here. - [Rich] Hey, you come from Triodia. It has a desert. Is it a desert planet? (laughing) - [Larry] You almost got
me with your bog logic. Tell your frog emperor you failed. - [Rich] He's not a frog emperor. He was democratically elected. - [Control] Space station 38, I still need those transfer reports. - [Larry] Careful, friend, unless you face the
wrath of the swamp beast. - [Rich] Hey, we'll get right on that. - [Control] Yeah, whatever,
homeboys is swampy. - [Larry] Well, calm down.
- [Rich] Come on. - [Larry] I know these normal clothes must feel restrictive
to you swamp dwellers. - [Rich] That's you. You hate normal clothes. - [Larry] They're just so itchy. I'm gonna take off my pants. - [Rich] Nobody is taking off their pants. You're not making any sense. - [Larry] I'm sorry, Rich. Let me just say it in your
native tongue. (croaking) - [Rich] That's not what I say- (croaking) I don't sound, nobod-
(screeching) Nobody on my pl-
(screeching) Shut up, shut up. (sighing) 50 years ago, Dread Trooper scouts landed in a swamp on our planet, and for some reason didn't
bother exploring anywhere else. If they had gone one mile to the left, they would have found some
beautiful beachfront condos. But they didn't. And now we're the Swamp Planet. How do you think that makes me feel? - [Larry] I--
- [Rich] Don't say anything. Let's just eat our lunch in silence. - [Larry] Is that moss? - [Rich] It's a delicacy. (whooshing) (ominous music) - [Larry] So are you guys gonna check that coolant leak now or what's the plan?
- [Rich] They're not maintenance, idiot. That was a lie so you'd let them in. They're here for the princess. - [Larry] I know, okay? - [Rich] Then why would you--
- [Larry] I have trouble admitting my mistakes. It's not my fault. - [Control] Station 38,
come in, Station 38. Is everything okay? - This is,
(grunts) This is station 38 reporting. We're fine, and thank
you for the check-in. (squeaking) - [Control] Roger that, Larry,
coming in loud and clear. - [Larry] What? I sound nothing like that. - [Rich] Well, maybe a little
bit when you get frustrated. - [Larry] I do not- (grunts) I do not. - Cells are locked down. We're gonna need a command key. - [Larry] Never, you'll
have to torture us-- - [Rich] Someone else because
we don't have command keys. - [Larry] Oh, command keys, yeah. We don't have those. If you want a key to the break room, you'll have to torture us. - Control, I'm so incompetent
and confused in a sexual way that I locked myself out of the cells. Can I please have a command key? - [Control] Ooh, no can do, Larry. You already used your
three lockouts this month. - [Larry] Ha, I saved the day. - [Rich] Kind of. - Come on, there's just
gotta be something I can do. - [Control] We do need someone to power scrape all the
(beep) out of waste pipelines. Chili Friday did a number on the system with everyone (beep). - [Larry] No.
- I'll do it. - [Rich] Ha, serves you right. - And my stupid friend's
gonna help me, too. - [Rich] What? - [Control] Roger that. We'll send down the hazmat
suits and spray gun. - Don't bother, we'll do
it in our denim cutoffs and we'll use my toothbrush. - [Control] Oh, roger that,
transmitting command keys now. (beeping)
Dude's just gonna do it in his shorts. - [Larry] Help, I am very
secure in my sexuality and do not agree to
clean up the chili poop. Also, there are some insurgents here.
- [Rich] The comm doesn't transmit unless
the button's pressed. - [Larry] I knew that. I knew that. - Also, I wanna kiss Lord
Sinister on the mouth. (sighing) - [Control] Roger that, 38. - [Larry] No, it's not true. (grunts) It's not true. (whooshing) (ominous music) - [Rich] And they were like, "Throw up the deflector shields." And I'm like, "What?" - [Larry] Yeah.
- [Rich] Because it's really loud when
they're attacking us. - [Larry] Yeah, we're on a spaceship. - [Rich] You've been reading that thing for the last hour, Larry. What is it? - [Larry] What? Nothing.
- [Rich] Let me see. "Mind Tricks?" What, who gave you this? - [Larry] All right,
remember that galactic magi we released last week? - [Rich] The old guy who
kept snacks in his beard? - [Larry] Yeah, look, turns
out he teaches this seminar. - [Rich] You went to a galactic magic seminar with Snackbeard? - [Larry] Yeah, I did. Rich, look, I'm telling you. There's something to this. - [Rich] Lift my canteen right now. (creaking) With your mind, Larry, with your mind. - [Larry] I don't learn levitation until I'm a Silver Guardian. - [Rich] Oh, Silver Guardian, yeah, sure. Hey, how much does that cost? - [Larry] This is an ancient religion.
- [Rich] Sure. - [Larry] That has been passed
down through the millennia, okay?
- [Rich] Sure. - [Larry] This is not about--
- [Rich] How much? - [Larry] 800 credits. - [Rich] Ah.
- [Larry] But it includes my very own laser-sword. Okay, that's broken.
(clanging) Look, this guy's incredible. He has total control over the weak mind. - [Rich] Yeah, I believe that. - [Larry] I'm telling you, Rich. Galactic magic totally works. - [Rich] Galactic magic totally works. - [Larry] You will pat
yourself on the head? - [Rich] I will pat myself on the head. - [Larry] Oh, wow, this is huge. Oh, oh, (beep). You will let me sleep with your fiancee. - [Rich] Dude, what the (beep)? - [Larry] You will let me sleep with your fiancee.
- [Rich] I was messing with you, obviously. Dalana?
- [Larry] Rich, I'm sorry.
- [Rich] Seriously? - [Larry] You're right.
- [Rich] Larry, you're my best man.
- [Larry] That was wrong, man. That was a dick move on my part. Dalana's a wonderful woman.
- [Rich] Larry. - [Larry] And you guys are great together. Now that you've I could
just spend one night with her.
- [Rich] Stop it. - [Larry] Or 45 minutes. - [Rich] No.
- [Larry] Yes. (whooshing) (ominous music) (sliding) - [Rich] Dreadlord Sinister. Here is your coffee, sir. - [Dreadlord] What? I didn't order any coffee. - [Rich] Yes, you did, sir. Three days ago. - [Dreadlord] Three days? Good lord, man, what took you so long? - [Rich] Well, sir, you only wanted coffee from the southwest quadrant. - [Dreadlord] Ah, yes. Julio does make it just the way I like it. - [Rich] The Dread Cruiser
is 1,200 miles across. It's the size of a planet. Julio's is literally on
the other end of the ship. It's night there. - [Dreadlord] Ooh, you know
what'd go great with this? One of those little crumbly
pastries Julio makes. - [Rich] So you want me to go back? To the southwest quadrant? Which I just told you
was a three-day journey. To bring you back a pastry,
which will arrive in three days. - [Dreadlord] Yeah?
- [Rich] For you to eat with that coffee? - [Dreadlord] Would you be a dear? So I don't have to kill you? - [Rich] Yes, sir. Your bear claw, my lord. - [Dreadlord] Bear claw? I can't eat that. I'm on a diet. - [Rich] Since when? - [Dreadlord] Two days ago. Where have you been? - [Rich] Lost, in this
giant space station. Did you know we have a floor full of nothing but horrible alien monsters? - [Dreadlord] Yeah, monster floor, and? - [Rich] Please, sir,
I've traveled so far. Eat this pastry. I am begging you. - [Dreadlord] Well, I
won't tell if you don't. (laughing) Seriously, if you tell,
I'll drop you into a quasar. Oh, you know what would
go great with this? - [Rich] Oh, please, no. Coffee, for your bear claw, my lord. - [Dreadlord] Bear claw? I didn't eat a bear claw three days ago. Who told you, oh, it's you. - [Rich] Well, sir, here's
your coffee anyway, enjoy, bye. - [Dreadlord] I can't
drink coffee by itself. - [Rich] Sir, I don't know what to do. - [Dreadlord] Tell you what. Go get me a coffee and
a pastry from Julio. Bring them back here
and we'll call it even. - [Rich] I haven't slept in three weeks, so I'm gonna be very explicit here. I will get you these things. It will take a considerable
amount of time. Other meals will come and go. The coffee will be cold. The pastry, maybe stale. Just promise me that
this is what you want. - [Dreadlord] I'm asking for it, aren't I? Go.
(squeaking) - [Larry] You're right,
it does just like Julio's. - [Dreadlord] Isn't it great? I had it installed three days ago. And look.
(dinging) It even comes with a pastry oven. (screaming) (rustling)
(clattering) - [Rich] I can't get, I cannot. No, no more. (clanging) I need sleep. - [Dreadlord] Who was that? - [Larry] I don't know. (whooshing) (ominous music) (rustling) Where are you going? - [Rich] Dreadlord wants me
to interrogate the princess for the location of the insurgent base. - [Larry] The princess? - [Rich] Yeah, I'm gonna be stuck in that tiny cell with her for hours. - [Larry] You know, Rich? Why don't you let me take this one? You've had a long day. - [Rich] What are you? My shift started three minutes ago. - [Larry] Yeah, I know. Spaceship stuff, cool, man. Well, Princess, we meet again. - We've never met before. - [Larry] Yeah, no, we did, remember? The day you were arrested? The turbo lift was taking forever. I made a joke about it. Said I liked your hair and your shoes. You were in my dream that night. Now, as a soldier of
the Interstellar Legion, I will stay in this room with you as long as it takes for you to divulge that you've--
- it's on Arcturis. - [Rich] What was that? - The base is on Arcturis, so ... - [Rich] I'm not leaving--
- Arcturis. Do you need a map? - [Rich] I know, let me finish. Until I ask you these standard interrogation question things. (rustling) How are things? What kind of music are you into? Your eyes are like sapphires.
- That's not even a question. - [Larry] Your eyes are like sapphires? - That's creepy? - [Larry] It was a rhetorical question. - That's not how
rhetorical questions work. - [Larry] Hey, I'm the one
asking rhetorical questions here. - You're really not. Is there anything even written on there? - [Larry] Yes.
- Do you have any real questions? - [Larry] The base on which the insurgents are located is where? - Okay, that was the first question, just really awkward phrasing. - [Larry] Quit stalling. You have forced me to
activate interrogation mode. (beeping)
(romantic jazz music) This is my band. - You shouldn't play this for people. (beeping)
(sliding) - [Rich] Did you guys hear a noise? - [Larry] Nothing, interrogation
ongoing, looks promising. All is affirmative. - You know what, I lied, okay? The base is on Allara. Can you please get him out of here now? - [Rich] Whoa, nice work, Larry. That's record time. - [Larry] That's what they say, I'm great. (scraping) Call me.
- What? - [Larry] Call me. (romantic jazz music) - [Rich] I don't know. It kinda sucks. Who is it? (beeping)
- [Larry] Nobody. (whooshing) (ominous music) - [Dreadlord] Tell the
insurgents on Allara to surrender or the Dread Cruiser will
destroy the entire planet. - No.
- [Dreadlord] You don't believe we can do it? Perhaps a demonstration
of our power is in order. Gunner, destroy the planet's moon. - [Gunner] Roger that. (laughing) - That's it? - [Dreadlord] What, that's it? We just blew up your moon, come on. Your planet could be next, that's scary. - It's not really scary
if you can't see it. - [Dreadlord] Ah, right, no windows. - Okay, are we done here? - [Dreadlord] Can't you
imagine how terrifying it was? Picture a big laser, green death beam. - [Rich] I think it's
light blue, actually. - [Larry] I always thought
it was more of a cerulean. - Ooh, cerulean, that sounds horrifying. - [Dreadlord] Look,
we're getting distracted. Rich, come here. - [Rich] Oh, okay. - [Dreadlord] Okay, I'm the Dread Cruiser and you're the moon we just destroyed. - [Rich] Ah, you got me. - [Dreadlord] What is that? No, you're a moon. Moons don't talk. Dammit, Larry.
- [Larry] Yeah? - [Dreadlord] Get over here. - [Larry] Oh, yeah, okay. Okay, let me just warm up here. Get loose.
(grunts) Okay, and go. - [Dreadlord] Now your
magma core is detonating. Yes, very good. And now, okay, now both of you. Be Allarans distraught over the
loss of their precious moon. (grunting) - [Rich] Oh, no, the moon.
- [Larry] Oh, no, the moon. Without a moon, our tides are all screwy. Our coastal farmlands are flooding. Oh, Princess, why? Why have you forsaken
your friend, the farmer? - Yeah, I don't know any farmers. - [Dreadlord] Yes, but
you're their princess. I mean, you must care about them. - Yeah, officially, I
guess, but not really. (sighing) - [Dreadlord] Destroy
the insurgent planet. - [Gunner] Sir, we just fired the laser. - [Dreadlord] So? Fire it again. - [Gunner] It takes 13
hours to recharge, sir. (groaning) - [Rich] That's a long time. - [Dreadlord] We still
annihilated your moon. - [Gunner] Sir, we missed the moon. - [Dreadlord] You missed the moon? How could you miss the? That is like missing the broad
side of 10 billion barns. (sighing) Come on, Sinister. Lemons out of lemonade. Very well, Princess. You have 13 hours to
surrender or Allara dies. - Oh, yeah, I lied. The base isn't on there. - [Dreadlord] What? You were just going to let me
blow up four billion Allarans? That's cold, no, seriously. Even I think that's cold, and I'm gonna go kill
that (beep) gunner now. Painfully, in front of his friends. I mean, damn, you nasty. (whooshing) (whooshing) (zooming) (growling) - [Larry] Hey, shut up. - [Rich] Whoa, come on, Larry. - [Larry] What? He's screaming.
- [Rich] Oh, you are so ignorant. He is just asking where we're going. - [Larry] You understood him? - [Rich] I took two credits
of Lizard in junior college, so yeah, I understood him. (growling) - [Rich] Oh, see? He's thirsty.
(growling) And hungry.
(growling) And he loves our spines, huh. (growling) - [Larry] He sounds like
he's threatening us. - [Rich] No, he's not threatening us. He just said he respects us as warriors. I'm gonna tell him he
was a worthy adversary. (strangled whining) (growling) - [Rich] Oh, he misses his children. See, that's sad. - [Larry] Doesn't his
species eat their young? - [Rich] Larry, that is a
horrible stereotype, okay? You outta be ashamed of yourself. (growling) I know, he's an idiot. (growling) - [Rich] Ah, yes, a bountiful harvest to you too as well, honorable sir. (growling) Larry, put your gun down. You're insulting him. - [Larry] Rich, I just got it back. - [Rich] No, seriously, put your gun down.
- [Larry] But, I just got it back, I-- - [Rich] Hey, put it down.
(groaning) Now we spin around him thrice, praising the lords of Salamandron. (strangled whining) - [Larry] Yeah, are the lords praised yet? (growling) - [Rich] Now we are brethren, so I think we can do away with these. - [Larry] Rich, are you
sure that's a good idea? - [Rich] Don't worry, we're brood kin now. (growling) - [Larry] Rich, no. - [Rich] No, it's okay. He's embracing me as kin. - [Lizard Man] No, I'm not. - [Rich] Oh, no.
- [Larry] I'll shoot him. - [Rich] Shoot him.
- [Larry] The gun. The gun's jammed. (whooshing) (ominous music) (beeping) - Leaders of the Insurgency, I have been captured but
remain in good spirits. Also, I have obtained
some crucial information. It turns out the Dread
Cruiser's weakness-- - [Larry] Yeah, I'm totally
gonna slam my pecs with a, whoa this isn't the gym. What? Oh, hey, Princess, long time no see. - Who were you just talking to? - [Larry] Guess I'd better
just do my workout here. I workout anywhere, really. Things are about to get a
little muscle-y and stuff. (groaning) Okay, count for me? (grunting)
(squeaking) - One, girl pushup.
(groaning) - [Larry] Still counts. (thudding) Oh, I'm cramping. (beeping)
- Okay, he's finally gone. The Dread Cruiser's weakness- (sliding) - [Larry] Cell inspector. Wow, what is that? That's-
(clanging) Yeah, look at that, that's good. (clanging) That's looking good, too. (clanging) That feels pretty good to me. (clanging) And that feels pretty good to me. - Get the fu-
(beeping) Now I am in okay spirits. The Dread Cruiser's weakness- (sliding) - [Larry] Hey, want me
to make you an omelet? - No.
(beeping) The Dread Cruiser's weakness- (sliding) - [Larry] Are you sure? - Yes.
(beeping) The Dread Cruiser's weakness- (sliding) - [Larry] Omelet time. (screaming)
(yelling) (beeping)
(sliding) Did you ring that bell you ring when you want me to come talk to you? - That's not, no, I don't have that. - [Larry] You do now. (ringing) (beeping)
(tooting) That was Sole Eclipse. Sole, spelled like your shoe. This next one's spelled the other way. (beeping)
Hey, is your bell working? - I wouldn't know. - [Mr. Kankerschmidt] Can I have a bell? - [Larry] No, Mr. Kankerschmidt. (beeping)
So have you ever had the urge to
date one of your guards? - Yeah, I really wanna
date that cute one, Rich? (screaming)
(beeping) - [Larry] My shift starts soon, boring. Anyway, I'll see you in seven hours, so. - Okay, new plan. Get me out of here now. - [Larry] Hey, did I
leave my helmet in here? - What? No, you're wearing it. You're always wearing it. - [Larry] Hey, is that a camera? - [Princess] What? No.
- [Larry] It's okay. I won't take this to Dreadlord, for you. - Actually, you probably
should show this to your boss, because he'd be so proud of you. - [Larry] You think?
- Yeah. - [Larry] Sir, I can explain. - [Dreadlord] What? What happened? I always fall asleep during movies. Hey, can you rewind this thing? - [Larry] Yeah, no.
- [Rich] I don't, hey. (whooshing) (ominous music) - [Dreadlord] Insurgent Commander Quazon. Crude mashed potato mannequin. Guess which one has been in Quazon's cell for the past three months? (sighing)
- [Larry] No, do you? - [Dreadlord] Anyway, (mumbles). Somebody (beep) up, now
I have to kill Larry. So, which one of you is Larry? - [Rich] Larry's not here right now. - [Larry] Yeah, and even if he was, he'd say that anybody could've been fooled by that mannequin, not just me. - [Dreadlord] You mean him? - [Larry] Who? - [Dreadlord] Larry?
- [Larry] Yes, can I help you? - [Dreadlord] So what I'm
hearing is I should kill you? - [Rich] No, Larry, I just
remembered where Larry is. He's there.
- [Chase What? No, hi, I'm Chase. I work in Sales. - [Larry] Oh, please, it is so easy to come up with a fake name. - [Chase] Oh, yeah? Then what's your name? - [Larry] Chase? - [Dreadlord] Two Chase'? Wow, wacky, guess that makes you Larry. - [Larry] Sure.
- [Chase] That's him. - [Rich] What? No.
- [Dreadlord] Fine. I'm not wasting anymore time on this. All of you, take off your helmets. - [Dreadlord] Yeah, I don't
know any of you people. Helmets back on. You, you're an ugly one. Oh, look at this. I have a package, for Larry. - [Larry] Huh? (sniffing) - [Dreadlord] Smells like
his favorite cookies. - [Larry] Plain?
- [Rich] Don't. How are you still alive? You know what, Dreadlord? The thing is, we're all Larry. - [Dreadlord] So I kill everybody? - [Rich] No, I mean, none of us is Larry. - [Dreadlord] So I kill everybody? - [Rich] No, God.
- [Chase] No. - [Larry] No, look, stop. Everybody just stop, okay? I'm Larry, all right? I'm not gonna stand
here and let my friend, or some random douche turd take the fall for me.
- [Chase] Hey. - [Larry] I'm ready to take
my punishment, like a man. (sighing) - [Dreadlord] This is the
hardest part of my job. Loading this gun. The little part connects to the base part. The base part connects to the tip. No, the tip connects to the middle. The tip part connects to the middle part. - [Larry] Hey, Chase, is that
space stuff you got there? - [Chase] Oh, yeah. Just some space stuff
I've been working on. - [Larry] Great, yeah, man,
I'd love to flip through the-- - [Dreadlord] And then
you have a laser gun. Okay, let's get to the killing. - [Chase] Wait, what? No.
(blasting) (laughing) - [Dreadlord] Well, that was fun. Now, who's Rich? - [Rich] Oh, (beep). (whooshing) (ominous music) (humming)
(gasping) - [Larry] They gave us our gun back. - [Rich] Yeah.
- [Larry] Let me see. - [Rich] Hey, no. - [Larry] No, Rich, I can-- - [Rich] Larry, no. You're the reason they took
it away in the first place. - [Larry] Huh, doesn't sound like me. - [Dreadlord] So we'll be
returning your station's firearm on a probationary basis. - [Larry] Oh my God. Rich, we got our gun back. Yeah, I'ma live forever. (blasting)
(crashing) Forever.
(blasting) Oh, come on, Rich. It was one time. - [Rich] One time?
- [Larry] Yeah. - [Rich] Really? What about the princess? - [Larry] She seduced me. Hey, Princess, wanna see my gun? - Okay.
- [Larry] God, she wanted me. - [Rich] She killed 10 of our guards. - [Larry] I'm so in love. - [Rich] Wounded another 25. - [Larry] They say when
you meet your soulmate, you just know it.
- [Rich] We had, what? Two months worth of funerals? - [Larry] She makes me feel so alive. - [Rich] She made a lot
of other people feel dead. - [Larry] You know what? You're not so perfect either, dude. (alarm beeping) - [Rich] See? I told you I could hit that window. Now pay up. - [Larry] And at first
I didn't believe you, but now I do. Oh, no, the money.
(screaming) (whooshing) Man, we've lost our gun privileges a lot. - [Rich] Yeah, ain't that like 22?
- [Larry] Yeah. - [Rich] Or, was it 23 times maybe? - [Larry] Yeah, 23 times. - [Rich] Still, shooting
a hole in a window is not nearly as bad as just
giving it to the princess. - [Larry] You already brought that up. - [Rich] No, I mean the
second time you did it. - [Larry] Okay, Princess. I've taken some completely
voluntary precautions, and there's no way you're
gonna take this gun again. - Really? - [Larry] No way. - Really? - [Larry] Not happening. - Really? - [Larry] Nope.
- Really? - [Larry] Not gonna, aw. Oh, yeah, like I'm so bad. Like (beep) me, (beep) Larry. - [Rich] Yeah, (beep) you. - [Larry] Like I'm so bad, look at Chase. - [Chase] So yeah, our armor,
completely laser-proof. Give it a shot. - [Rich] I don't know, really? - [Larry] Come on, Rich. - [Rich] It doesn't sound right. - [Larry] Come on, man.
- [Chase] Don't be a puss. Shoot me in the stomach.
- [Larry] Look. - [Chase] I think I hear a puss. - [Rich] Okay.
- [Larry] Don't be a puss, dude.
- [Rich] All right, fine. Here we go. - [Chase] Meow.
(blasting) - [Larry] Try me. (whooshing)
See? We both screwed up, so let's promise each other to
take better care of the gun. Agreed?
- [Rich] Agreed. - Agreed.
- [Larry] Ah. (whooshing) (ominous music) - [Drone #1] Man, I got
all this space stuff, and then my, huh. All right, yeah, okay, more mashed ... (ripping) - [Dreadlord] Hi, there.
(yelling) I see you've used my suggestion box. - [Drone #1] No, me? No, I was just walking down a hallway. - [Dreadlord] Don't worry. It's completely anonymous. Why, any of these
suggestions could be yours. (rustling) Okay, let's see what we have here. See, company morale is very important. "More mashed potatoes in the mess hall." - [Drone #1] Well, sir, sometimes
there's just no food and-- - [Dreadlord] Who the
(beep) do you think you are? (screaming) (blasting) - [Larry] He's dead. - [Rich] Yeah, I know, shut up. - [Dreadlord] I'm really
glad we're doing this. It's important you all
don't feel like drones. - [Dreadlord] You there, drone. - [Drone #2] Me? - [Dreadlord] Care to add your two cents to the suggestion box? - [Rich] No.
- [Larry] No. - [Drone #2] Okay, sure. (scribbling) And done.
(ripping) - [Dreadlord] I'll take that. "You're doing a great job." Aw.
- [Drone #2] Well, it's true. - [Dreadlord] That is not a suggestion. - [Drone #2] Oh, dear. (blasting) - [Dreadlord] Can you believe that guy? - [Rich] Dreadlord Sinister, sir, it's great that you're
open to suggestions. - [Dreadlord] Yes, great, I am great. - [Rich] But you're killing
everyone who suggests anything. - [Dreadlord] I don't follow. Dead man walking. (scribbling) - [Drone #3] I kind of thought
this was gonna be anonymous? - [Dreadlord] Oh, of course. - [Drone #3] Okay.
(scribbling) Oh, (beep).
(blasting) - [Larry] You didn't
even read his suggestion. - [Dreadlord] Well, I'm
sure it was terrible. "Fewer random killings." See? Ridiculous.
- [Larry] Why did you even put up a suggestion box? - [Dreadlord] It was a suggestion
from a valued employee. May he rest in peace.
- [Rich] Forgive me, my lord, but if you want your
employees to respect you, then you need to actually listen to them. Or at least not kill them. I mean, it's what being
a boss is all about. - [Dreadlord] Wow, you're right. - [Rich] Oh, thank you. - [Dreadlord] I never really
thought of it that way before. - [Rich] Well, I think-- - [Dreadlord] Truly a great suggestion. - [Rich] It's funny, I was, oh, (beep). (whooshing) (ominous music) (alarm blaring)
- [Rich] (beep). - [Larry] Oh, no. - [Rich] Oh, God.
- [Larry] We are screwed. - [Rich] Button time.
- [Larry] We are screwed. - [Rich] Hey, listen. Nobody has to know we
let the princess escape. - [Larry] Again.
- [Rich] Again, Computer. (thumping) - [Computer] Hello, Rich and Abdul. - [Larry] Who's Abdul?
- [Rich] Computer, locate prisoner 1977. - [Computer] Searching.
(beeping) Still searching.
- [Larry] Why is it taking so long?
- [Rich] I've put in so many requests for a new computer. (dinging) Computer, results.
- [Computer] I totally (beep) what I was searching for. - [Rich] Prisoner 1977.
- [Computer] Seven, right. I knew that. Searching for prisoner 1978. - [Rich] Seven.
- [Computer] Of course. Seven, number confirmed. Well, see later. - [Rich] What about the search? - [Computer] Of course, I remember, but explain it again so Abdul knows. - [Larry] Computer, this is an emergency. Also, my name's Larry. Just pull up a map of the Dread Cruiser. - [Computer] Retrieving file. File located.
- [Rich] Oh, see? - [Larry] That wasn't so bad. - [Computer] Oops, butterfingers. - [Larry] What? Computer, define butterfingers. - [Computer] Okay, promise
you won't freak out? - [Rich] What happened? - [Computer] I dropped
the file, it's broken. - [Rich] You don't have hands. Files aren't things for reasons. - [Computer] You promised
you wouldn't freak. - [Larry] Wait, Rich, she must
be heading for the airlocks. Computer.
- [Computer] Yes, Abdul? - [Larry] It's Larry. Open the airlock floor plan.
- [Computer] Opening airlock. - [Rich] Oh, no.
- [Larry] Oh, no. - [Computer] Airlock opened. (screaming) - [Rich] (beep), (beep) me. - [Larry] Close the airlocks. - [Computer] Open, close,
please make up your mind. - [Rich And Larry] Close. - [Rich] Goddammit, Computer,
there must be something you can do to help us find the princess. - [Computer] I could calculate her most probable escape route. - [Rich] Yes, that sounds great, do that. - [Computer] I will
just need a calculator. - [Larry] You are a calculator. - [Computer] No, I mean like a good one. One that can do graphs and (beep). - [Rich] You listen to me, Computer. Now you're the only one
who can help us right now, so would you please just focus, and are you playing a (beep) video game? - [Computer] What? No, I was totally listening. (whooshing) (beeping) - [Larry] I'm killing your score. - [Computer] No fair, you're cheating. - [Larry] No, you just suck hard. - [Computer] Opening airlocks. - [Larry] And you win. (whooshing) (ominous music) (sighing) - [Rich] Well, thrusters are dead. Doomed to float around
in a (beep) escape pod for all eternity. - [Larry] That's not true, man. We got like 30 minutes of
air left, so we're gonna die. - [Rich] Larry, before we die, there's something I have to confess. - [Larry] I'm adopted? - [Rich] What? I don't know. That doesn't make any sense, no. Remember when the insurgents raided? (blasting) - [Commander] You're our last hope. Countless lives are at stake. Do not let anyone through
this door, got it? - [Rich] Got it, nobody. (thumping) - [Insurgent] Pizza.
- [Rich] Ooh, pizza. (sliding) Let's give you a, get
the ol' wallet out here. I'm not gonna be able to
tip you guys very well. Oh, man, it feels good
to get that off my chest. Do you have anything to say? - [Larry] Yeah, that
was really incompetent. - [Rich] No, I mean, don't
you have anything to confess? - [Larry] Actually, Rich,
there is something I need to get off my chest. I had an inappropriate
relationship with your fiancee. - [Rich] What? Wait, what do you think
of as inappropriate? - Hi, I'm Dalana. You must be Larry. - [Larry] We can't do this. (screaming) - [Rich] That was nothing. Mine was so much worse than yours. You have to have something else. - [Larry] Well, Chase,
can you see my thermos? - [Computer] Are you sure it's down here? I just see a bunch of rats. - [Larry] Yeah, I'm sure,
just look a little further. Oh, hey, there it is. - [Chase] Whoa.
- [Larry] Captain Thermy. (thumping) I killed him, I killed Chase. - [Rich] No, you didn't. - [Larry] I did.
- [Rich] You didn't. - [Larry] Are you sure? - [Rich] I forgot how much I like bananas. (burning)
(screaming) Chase is fine. We saw him last week, remember? - [Larry] No.
- [Rich] Yeah, you were tired. - [Larry] Okay, here's a confession. - [Rich] Holy (beep), that's 15 in a row. Great work, Starman. (digital music)
- [Announcer] Starman. - [Rich] A few things. Firstly, I never call you Starman. Second, that's not a confession. Third, what? - [Larry] All right,
here's something worse. - [Commander] You're our last hope. Countless lives are at stake. Do not let anyone through
this door, got it? - [Larry] You can count on me. - [Commander] Good luck, Starman. (digital music)
- [Announcer] Starman. - [Rich] That's my story. - [Larry] He called me Starman. - [Rich] Doesn't matter, the point is, I get to spend the rest of
my life with my best friend. - [Larry] Rich, me, too. Hey, remember when we were
cleaning that escape pod? - [Rich] Why does Dreadlord want us cleaning these things anyway? They're such death traps. I think they only have 30 minutes of air. - [Larry] What's this button? (yelling)
(alarm blaring) - [Rich] Oh, no, what happened? - [Larry] It malfunctioned. Do you believe it? Best friends forever. Rich and Larry. - [Rich] I'm gonna kill- (whooshing) (ominous music) - [Chase] Hey, do you guys ever think about how we hyperdrive on parkways and we park on hyper-driveways? - [Rich] No, I don't, shut up. (sliding)
- [Dreadlord] You. - [Rich] Not it.
- [Larry] Whoa. - [Dreadlord] You have
failed me for the last time. - [Chase] Which one of us? - [Dreadlord] You, for questioning me. Look, the important thing is I get to try out my brand-new laser sword. Behold, the instrument of your demise. Oh, bubble wrap. (popping) - [Chase] All right,
guys, what's the plan? (squeaking) - [Larry] Oh, wow, it has
eon tube pain crystals. - [Rich] That is awesome. - [Chase] Oh, dear. - [Larry] Fusion cores not included, huh? - [Dreadlord] Aw, just
give me the adapter. Male into female. You have failed me for the last time. (clicking)
(humming) Pink? I can't kill anybody with pink. What am I gonna do? Wuss you to death? - [Chase] Oh, thank God. - [Larry] It says here
you can adjust the color. - [Dreadlord] Ah, there we go, green. Green is a killing color. - [Larry] It says that's sea foam. - [Dreadlord] Sea foam? Red? - [Larry] Sangria.
- [Dreadlord] Blue? - [Larry] Storm clouds. - [Dreadlord] Yellow? - [Larry] Canary.
- [Dreadlord] Orange? - [Larry] Orange popsicle. - [Dreadlord] Who named these? Doesn't matter, prepare to die. (humming)
(wincing) (zapping) - [Chase] What? - [Larry] Safety's on. - [Dreadlord] Safety? Who puts a safety on a laser sword? Oh.
(laughs) I swear this never happens. (laughs) - [Larry] It looks like
you have it on whip. Rake, pinwheel, toothpick,
mystery sword, fork, spork. Sword that only kills ghosts. - [Dreadlord] Sword
that only kills ghosts? (laughs)
That's stupid. (humming) Give me that. Ah, okay, here we go. (clicking) (gasping) Now you have cancer. - [Chase] What? - [Dreadlord] Yup, and now you die. In six to eight months, depending on how you
respond to treatments. - [Rich] Hey, we're all
in this together, buddy. - [Chase] Thanks, well, everyone, I've got some phone calls to make. - [Dreadlord] Nah, this
isn't gonna work for me. I need something with a little more pop. (clicking)
Here we go. (grunts)
- [Chase] Whoa. No, whoa.
- [Dreadlord] Die. Kill him.
- [Larry] There's a red slider on that to make
it go longer, if you need-- - [Rich] Just be careful,
because it's super sens- (yelling) (beaming) - [Larry] It's fine, just don't move. - [Dreadlord] What'd you say?
- [Rich] Oh, no. (whooshing) (ominous music) (sliding) - [Larry] I can't believe we
have to cover Chase's shift. Nobody has it worse than us. - [Rich] Chase was crushed to death by a crate of frozen meatballs. - [Larry] I love meatballs. - [818] This is Legion cargo vessel 818, requesting tractor beam, pull over. - [Larry] Yeah, we got
you, 818, no problemo. Okay, Rich, here's what we gotta do. - [Rich] Okay, ready.
- [Larry] You gotta charter your vessel, okay? There it is. You gotta power up the beam, right?
- [Rich] Right. - [Larry] And then you
wanna ease 'em in. (beaming) - [818] Okay, that's too fast. (crashing) - [Larry] Oh, my God. I just killed everyone on that ship. - [Rich] No, when it has a crew of over 2,000, it's a frigate, a frigate. - [Larry] I'm never gonna get over this. - [442] This is cargo vessel
442, requesting tractor pull. - [Larry] Roger that, we gotcha. - [Rich] Why don't you let someone who hasn't committed genocide
today handle this one? Now you wanna do right, you
wanna carefully line them up. Now, carefully, right? Glide 'em on in. (crashing) But make sure that the door is open first. Which I did not do. - [Larry] Huh, wait,
that guy got out in time. - [Rich] Oh.
- [Larry] Hey. Hey, guy, he's okay. No, he's dead. Because of space. - [Rich] Maybe we should
read the instruction manual? - [Larry] Good idea. - [Rich] Oh, see, that
doesn't look so complicated. - [Larry] Oh, this is the
manual for the manual. - [Rich] Manual for the
manual? (grunting) (thumping) - [Susie Q.] This is the
cargo vessel, Susie Q. We are out of power and adrift,
requesting a rescue pull. - [Rich] We will save you, Susie Q. We just need to tweak
a few things and pull, maybe this and slide that over there and- (beaming) - [Susie Q.] Great, and actually, it feels like we're getting
pushed farther away. - [Rich] Oh, (beep), (beep) me, (beep) me. - [Susie Q.] Okay, still pushing us away. No engines, remind you. And we are almost out of range, and okay, we are now out
of range and we're dead. Doomed to die in the abyss. Radio should be cutting out any sec- (static) All your fault. (static) - [Rich] We have destroyed
so many ships and lives and we have no choice. We have to go to Dreadlord and tell him somebody else did this. - [Larry] I miss Chase. - [Rich] Look, it's all right, okay? Nobody has to know. - [388] Tractor beam control,
this is cargo vessel 388. I just saw you guys pretty
much murder three crews. I'm gonna have to report this. (beaming)
(crashing) - [Larry] Hot hands, last one, that's it. Anyway, I'm done for the day. Done for the day. (sliding) (whooshing) (ominous music) (slurping) (sighing) Two minutes, pay up, Rich. - [Rich] What? I just got here. Where'd you get that giant juice bag? - [Larry] Oh, nowhere. - [Mr. Kankerschmidt]
Hey, where's my juice bag? - [Larry] You already finished
yours, Mr. Kankerschmidt. Oh, I gotta piss. - [Rich] Yeah, well
somebody sent our bathroom up into space. - [Larry] That was partially
the bathroom's fault. - [Rich] Find a higher floor. - [Larry] God, it's so far away. It's like my pelvis is
juggling water balloons. Oh, God, and the balloons
are filled with piss, and the piss is in my penis. Open.
(roaring) (yelling) - [Monster] Learn to knock.
- [Larry] Sorry. (whimpering) Huh? (growling) - [Larry] Screw this. Computer, please find me
the closest vacant restroom. - [Computer] Searching,
searching, still searching. Got it, it is located over there. - [Larry] Where? - [Computer] That way. - [Larry] Which way? You're not even pointing anything. You don't even have hands. - [Computer] Oh, sure, rub it in. - [Larry] I can't deal with this. I'm too full of juice. Don't leak run juice. Excuse me, juice emergency. - [Female Trooper] Hey,
this is the ladies room. Can't you read? - [Larry] (beep).
- [Female Trooper] Pervert. (groaning) (knocking) - [Larry] Who's in there? - [Chase] It's me, Chase. You duct-taped me to the toilet. - [Larry] Oh, yeah, oh, no. - [Chase] Are you guys gonna let me out? We've all had a good
laugh, but I wanna go now. - [Larry] Oh, oh, God, oh, no. It's gonna happen. Oh, forgive me, door, I can't wait. (sighing)
(urinating) (sliding) (screaming) I can't stop. (whimpering)
(zipping) How you doing? - [Dreadlord] Not sure about that. I'm sort of numb with rage. I'm gonna go process this, good day. (sliding) (whimpering) (screaming) (whooshing) (ominous music) (scratching)
- [Dreadlord] Oh. - [Screen] Dreadlord Sinister, incoming message from the Alpha Fleet. - [Dreadlord] Alpha Fleet? Well, day ruined. Patch him through, wait. Okay.
(beeping) - Dreadlord Sinister, (in
foreign language), what's up? - [Dreadlord] Scareduke Devious. To what do I owe the
pleasure of your call? More good news from your battles, I bet. - Total bummer, six hours, we
only conquered two planets. (blaring)
Oh, scratch that. Make that three. (laughs)
- [Dreadlord] Wow. Good, good job. - Don't say the J-word,
(in foreign language). This is a passion. Cruising the galaxy, squashing freedom, wracking up (in foreign
language) points for the legion. - [Dreadlord] Yes, (in foreign language). What is it you want? - Well, we've been receiving some (in foreign language)
distress calls from y'all. Figured you needed some help. - [Dreadlord] Distress calls? Not from us. My ship is a well-oiled machine, full of deadly, elite troopers. - [Rich] Sir, Larry spilled
orange soda on the console and he won't clean it up. - [Larry] No, I didn't, actually. We both spilled it. - [Rich] Oh my God. Scareduke Devious, Larry, it's Scareduke. - [Larry] I know, I noticed him first. - [Rich] Same time?
- [Larry] Agreed. - Please, guys, call me Deevs. - [Dreadlord] Do not call him Deevs. - [Larry] Sir, I thought
you were locked in combat with Torg the Inconquerable. - Nah, I conquered him. Funny story, so I was banging
this hot alien broad-- - [Dreadlord] Actually, I
was just telling Scareduke of your bravery. Surely you've done something competent recently and flawless? - [Rich] Oh, us? Yeah, oh, yeah, okay. So there was this spy droid and nobody knew where to find it. - [Larry] A spy droid, right. Yeah, Rich was like, "Ah, I can't see it. "It must have a cloaking device." - [Rich] Yeah, a cloaking device. So at that point, Larry spilled his orange
soda all over the console. - [Larry] Well, actually
no, we both spilled it. - [Rich And Larry] And
then we both came up here. - [Dreadlord] Everyday heroes. - All right, well, let me see if some of these distress calls
ring a bell for you. It says here you dudes flooded your ship. You were enslaved by
Demalkian baboons briefly. Not briefly, for seven months. And then you ejected all your oxygen. - [Dreadlord] I told you
those weren't from us. - Whoa, (in foreign language). Let me make it up to you. We're having a little celebration luau in honor of the six- (blaring) Seven planets we just conquered. If you wanna swing by-- - [Dreadlord] I don't have time
for your frivolous parties. I have to go interrogate
the Allaran princess. - Whoa, she must be a handful. - [Dreadlord] She is
but putty in my claws. She is still putty in my claws, right? - [Rich] Oh, yeah.
- [Larry] Oh, yeah, totally. - [Rich] Larry checked on her
- [Larry] Rich checked on her cell this morning.
- [Rich] cell this morning. - [Rich And Larry] (beep). - Well, okay, all right. I'm sending some troopers for you, bro. Let me do this for you. - [Dreadlord] No, do not
send anyone, Scareduke. - Sorry, can't hear you. They're about the crown the Limbo King. What, it's me? It's me, you guys are awesome. - [Dreadlord] Unbelievable,
go find the Allaran princess, my (in foreign language). - [Larry] Sir, are you trying
to talk like Scareduke? - [Dreadlord] What? No, you know you two are
my (in foreign language). Just go.
- [Rich] There we go. Bye.
- [Larry] Bye. (sliding) - [Dreadlord] (in foreign language). (whooshing) (ominous music) - [Rich] Lord Sinister, sir. There's been a prison break. - [Dreadlord] What did you say? - [Rich] It all happened so fast. - [Dreadlord] I can't hear people who aren't on my new holopad. - [Rich] What? Oh, come on. Sir, three prison guards have been killed. (laughing) - [Dreadlord] That is just delightful. It's like you, but blue and tiny. - [Rich] Sir, there is a
dangerous Canderian lizard monster running loose on level four. - [Dreadlord] Look at
me when addressing me. - [Rich] I need your order
to deploy containment drones. - [Dreadlord] Don't you think there are more pressing concerns? - [Rich] Like what? - [Dreadlord] Like the
giant pencil in your head. Oh, you must be in agony. (laughs) - [Rich] Sir.
- [Dreadlord] Okay, fine. I'll conference dispatching on the phone. Holo-phone, eh? Okay, how do I do this? (beeping) (yelling) Oh, sorry, wrong number. Actually, do you have BLT's? (yelling) Oh, really? Well, what do you have? (yelling) It's okay, I have time. Read it to me. - [Larry] Sir, I don't
know how he got a gun, but he's a really good shot. (gasps) Is this a new holopad? - [Dreadlord] Yup. - [Rich] People are dying out there. - [Larry] Guys, look at me. I'm a robot. I'm a tiny robot dancing on the desk. (laughing) - [Dreadlord] Quick, bend over. (scraping)
- [Larry] Okay. - [Dreadlord] Hey, have
you seen my new desk toy? (laughs)
- [Dreadlord] Hey, your Darkness, I sure hope there aren't any giant hands around. - [Dreadlord] Giant hands? What? Why would there be, oh. (roaring)
- [Larry] Whoa. Oh, no, it's that giant
hand I was afraid of. - [Rich] Get off of there. Listen to me, Dreadlord,
we have to do something. - [Dreadlord] Okay,
geez, calling security. (beeping)
(growling) (screaming) - [Larry] Carl, are you okay? Carl, are you okay, buddy? You don't have a body, buddy. - [Dreadlord] Don't worry, I have a plan. Quick, private, squat
into action position. - [Rich] Yes, sir. - [Dreadlord] Now turn 90 degrees. Thrust with your hips. (grunting) (laughing) Lizard (beep).
(whooshing)
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