The Six Monsters You'll Have As Roommates

[Music] here's you here's the college you're going to and here are the six monsters you'll have four roommates well not literal monsters but you'll see he's a perfect model of efficiency helpful friendly even he doesn't really understand you're more human imperfections his programming is rigid and well-defined violated at your own risk watch his head will explode any second now what do you want me to do yeah it's a dirty blade so that wasn't his head there's no firm evidence this roommate exists hello does he spend all his time with his girlfriend at home things move around mysteriously while you're not looking is he dead if so do you get a free pass this semester or something [Music] you think he might be trying to communicate with you but you'll never know for sure [Applause] looking like an ad for hair gel doesn't automatically make him a monster but you've noticed things he stays up all night can't stand the sunlight and brings from a different victim every night and you're not saying he sucks their blood for sustenance hey oh my god not seriously but you've never seen him eat anything weird he must have supernatural powers otherwise how the is he getting laid more than you so you're from wherever he's from he has a poor judge of social norms strange habits and this thing if it's a bong you want to hide out if it's a dildo you don't want to touch it and if it's neither you like any story about aliens your friends will never believe where you going the first thing you notice is the smell so what died in here he doesn't seem to notice it hey my parents are coming today and he just shambles around leaving little pieces of himself wherever he goes and not to force the metaphor here but he does seem to want your brains Jesus get your own chem lab man you have to get your own place finally that holy treasure a single a bachelor pad may a bachelor Kingdom all to yourself maybe you'll have a three-way or a four-way or just stay in bed all day and eat cake and hot wings what was that probably nothing just a burglar demon Freddy Kreuger cuts through a little maybe you'll give the vampire call

Channel: CollegeHumor

Views: 20,891,596

Rating: 4.9294376 out of 5

Keywords: collegehumor, the six monsters, roommates, college, dorm life, dorm, monster, vampires, zombies, mummy, alien, funny

Id: DN7C_tE8H_A

Length: 3min 52sec (232 seconds)

Published: Wed Sep 21 2011