The Right To Remain Silent | Sarah Jakes Roberts

i have to tell you first of all it is such an honor to be here at free chapel if this is your church can you just make some noise if you've been blessed what incredible leadership you have in the franklins and it's really my husband and i are so moved by the way that you all have just steered through ministry throughout the years and we are so honored to be here serving your vision thank you so much for hosting us and i just have to tell you i'm your opening act because my husband's coming later and he is my pastor my favorite person on the planet so you guys are in for a really amazing treat but i just wanted to share a few things with you about what god told me as i was praying for you all because we don't just come and take a message that we think will do well for relationships we pray about who's going to be in the room and we ask god what is it that they need to hear how can we impart what you're doing in this season into their lives and i believe that god has given me something that is going to be helpful and useful for you and your relationships and marriages so i just want to pray father we welcome you you're already here and you already have a plan for what this time together is going to be so father it is my prayer that you would bring us into alignment with what this moment is supposed to be for the foundations of the earth you predestined this moment and so i just turn myself over to you i want to be in alignment with what you have already decided to do god bless our marriages bless our homes bless our family allow us to make room for you to change us transform us and grow us into that one you had in mind when you brought the two of us together in jesus name amen amen so as pastor franklin said my husband now we're a regular couple we'd like to do things that probably you and your spouse like to do for a good time so when you have six children like people say that you shouldn't have a television in your bedroom but i think the people who say it don't have six children because they try to sell you on this idea that the bedroom is a place that should create conversation but when you have six children you don't have conversation and television that can take place at the same time and i'm growing i like to watch grown folk stuff i'm tired of watching dora okay so i put a tv right in my bedroom okay at 7 30. i look at my husband he looks at me we're at the dinner table we're like you know what it's time to wrap this up because we got shows to watch and we got to be in the bed by 10 o'clock okay if your children are having issues this is what i suggest pray for them and put them to bed by 7 45 so you can watch your shows and get eight hours of sleep amen there's parenting and then there's this stage where you got to let god just do what he's gonna do with them they're three they're fine it's fine so we go upstairs and we're getting ready to watch our shows put my bonnet on come on sisters for those of you unfamiliar with what a bond it is i purchased this hair that you're looking at today and it comes off oh yeah it's real talk honey when i go upstairs i take it off i put my bonnet on because now it's what you got this is what you got when you married me it's bonnet time in the sanctuary throw that slap that bonnet on my head and i go to the dvr now it's time for us to battle over what we're going to watch there's only two options we're either going to watch this is us [Applause] or we're going to watch chicago pd [Applause] the moment we decide to watch this is us this spirit of heaviness falls on my husband we're 10 minutes into the show they haven't even given us a flashback yet and he is snoring but that's okay because now i get to watch the show by myself when we watch chicago pd though i have to get all engaged right i don't know what's more annoying kim falling asleep during this is that's for me asking all of the questions during chicago pd i don't think that's legal i'm not sure hey can you pause it real quick what are the legal ramifications i don't think they mirandized him i don't know if this one is going to stick who do you think is the one that really shot him do you think that he's going to get away with this then i have to pause the show right because now i'm engaged and i'm wondering if we're ever in a real life situation it's fine everything's fine babe let's just say hypothetically speaking there's a case of mistaken identity and they think i murdered someone do i just plead my case with voight i mean with the officer or do i decide to wait for a lawyer because if i say i need a lawyer they're going to think i'm guilty but they could trap me if i don't have a lawyer what do i do my husband's like make sure that you stay silent until we get a lawyer i'm like but i have the truth on my side i can tell the truth it's going to be fine he's like sarah be there first of all it's just a tv show and you're ruining it for me so if you're taking notes i want you to write this down if you are ever in a case of mistaken identity and you are arrested you have the right to remain silent exercise that right do not exercise that right to remain silent in your marriage okay you have the right to remain silent in your marriage but that doesn't mean that you should exercise that right it has been said that one of the most troubling problems in any marriage is communication i would respectfully offer for your consideration that it's really not communication that tears our marriages apart it's silence it's all the things that we don't know how to say in our marriages we have the right to remain silent because anything you say can and will be used against you in the court of marriage remember when you said after our second date that you would never do me like this if we got married we don't get silent because we don't believe that we can speak we're silent because we don't trust that there is an environment that can handle what we have to say and yet silence has the ability to create division in our marriages if your spouse is still speaking to you then there's a lot of hope if they're still able to express their issues and their emotions then things are going well it's when they stop speaking and all they say is good morning and good night that's when trouble is a mess you see it's not that we don't always have the words it's just how do you express that i lost my hope i lost my passion how do you find the words to say that hurt me more than i let on how do you find the words to say when you married me you think you got a full man but there's a broken little boy down on the inside of me how do we say that when you said that i heard my father speaking it's the silence that creates division in our marriages and so our task my assignment for today is to encourage you to fill in the silence i'm going to be using luke 1 and 57. i love this text because it tells us so much about god's plan in bringing in john and jesus into the world but for the first time when studying it for the sake of coming to be with you i noticed that this dynamic between elizabeth and zacharias as a married couple is not really one that i've ever dissected you all are bible scholars here so i'm just going to give you the cliff notes version zacharias is a high priest angel of the lord comes to visit him he says hey homeboy something's about to happen i'm going to create an ebonics version of the bible in the next lifetime is going to win so many souls you have no idea the angel of the lord appears to zacharias and says to him that your wife is going to give birth it's going to change the world he's going to be the front runner the forerunner for jesus he tells them all of these things and zacharias says how is this going to happen we're old she's barren there's no way and because he doesn't believe he is rendered mute and now i'm looking at this interestingly because i realize that there is a man in a marriage who has been rendered mute but also been given the task to produce so even though we're silent in our marriages it doesn't rob us from the responsibility of needing to produce which means that we have to find a way to fill in the silence we have to find a way to communicate in spite of the potential for being misunderstood the potential for having to sit there for hours after hours saying that's not what i said that's what you heard we can't allow the silence to have the final say and i'm looking at elizabeth and zacharias and i'm realizing that he's been given this task to produce but that he's got to find a way to communicate in spite of the fact that what he is used to depending on no longer exists elizabeth and zacharias are forced into silence they're forced into silence because zacharias has lost his belief it's interesting that he's lost his belief because he is still functioning as the high priestess on the outside looking in doing all of the things that would suggest belief but there's something down on the inside of him that has been shaped by the disappointments he has experienced whether you believe it or not your disbelief shows up in your marriage your disbelief shows up in your marriage it's not that he doesn't believe in the marriage something happens to him outside of the marriage that affects his ability to connect in the marriage and for some reason we believe that we're able to compartmentalize our lives that if something happens at the office or my job is on the line or the money is looking a little funny as long as i don't speak it it won't affect my marriage but the truth is that that is going to show up in your marriage anyway if you're taking notes i want you to write this question down and you can ask yourself it later how has my disbelief shown up in my marriage those areas where i don't believe in my potential anymore those areas where i don't believe in that dream that i sold her when we first got married because life comes and life changes your belief system but we don't talk about the way that it changes us and then something happens that forces us into silence and this moment with elizabeth and zacharias it forces them into silence the areas where you have lost your passion and or individual unbelief it doesn't just affect you it affects your partner too so you're writing down that question how does my unbelief show up in my marriage what god does to restore the unbelief that zacharias is experiencing and what i believe god is doing with you this weekend is that he gives the marriage a new vision because when your marriage has a new vision it affects every area of your life it doesn't seem connected but in this weird kind of way when things are right at home i like to work out a little bit differently i don't know when things are right at home i show up at my office a bit differently i'm more confident in my ability when i'm speaking when things are right at home when my marriage is tight everything around me seems like it is within reach and it's possible my dreams seem tangible and when we don't have our belief system together we have to go back to assess the foundation of our lives because when we get married it changes the foundation of our life and sometimes we're praying that god would give us a new job and sometimes we're praying that god would do something outside of us when what we really need to be praying is that god would give us a new vision for our marriage maybe we just had a vision to get the kids through school but now we don't have a vision for what we're going to do after them every now and then you've got to go back to the drawing board and say god what is the vision for my marriage now at first it was one thing 10 years ago but now we're 10 years down the road and i need to know what the vision is now because what if god is doing a new thing in your marriage but you're still functioning off of the old plans you did not just come here for a conference you came here because god is getting ready to give you new vision for your marriage new passion new purpose new promise and he's only going to give it to the people who are willing to lay down what they knew about who their spouse was to lay down what they knew about who they were and say god what are you doing now i'm not married to the same man i used to be married to i'm not married to the same woman i used to be married to and god i want to know how i can serve them now i need a new vision for my marriage it's not just as simple as being understood it's not just as simple as i need fidelity or we need more money no god i need a new vision for my marriage i need to understand the kind of parents we're going to be i need to understand how we interact with my family i need a new vision for my marriage how do we love after this pain how do we love with the children here i'm functioning off of this old vision and i'm wondering why it's not working i hear god saying that there's nothing wrong with your spouse there's nothing wrong with your relationship there's something wrong with the vision but god says this is 2020 this is the year of perfect vision and that he will give you a vision for your marriage that will see you through the next decade i feel like prophesying in this place and it is a saturday morning and ain't nobody got time for that but if i could just prophesy for a minute i would say that god has a vision for you and your husband you and your wife to be a power couple that is not just a power couple that can show up when the lights are on but a power couple that can show up in their own bedrooms in the middle of the night that can go to war for their families that can get down on their knees and start praying saying not my child i'm tired of hearing about praying mothers only i'm tired of hearing about praying fathers only i believe in the power of marriage i believe in the power of unity and i believe that when we get together when two of us are gathered in his name that he will sit down in the mix and that we will chase every devil out of our household and we will chase every disease out of our marriage i don't know about you but i didn't get married just because he was fine i got married because we make hell nervous i got married because i got a vision for what we could do in the earth i got married because i believe me and him are unstoppable so you need a rider let me get gangster with it for a minute you need to marry a rider you need to marry somebody who will go down in the hell with you and take back everything the devil stole from you i got a vision for my marriage i got a generational curse to break i got a statistics to prove wrong i'm not doing what's always been done there's a vision for my marriage [Applause] what god does for elizabeth and zacharias is he breaks up their routine because your marriage could die by routine your marriage could die by routine so he shakes things up and he gives them a promise to produce a seed but he makes him silent zacharias was supposed to go home and turn on luther vandross he was supposed to tell elizabeth we've been waiting all this time and god's about to download something in here tonight but he can't speak he can't show up the way that he would normally show up in this instance and so now he has to explain how he became broken and he has to explain how he became silent while recognizing that he still has a promise hanging over his head see god's not like us when zacharias didn't believe he didn't take the promise from him he just made him change the way that he functions so that it forced him to be vulnerable instead of using all of the techniques he's used to when god gives you a new vision for your marriage you can't use your old tricks you got to be willing to be vulnerable and find a new way to communicate there's a vision for your marriage that you're whole there's a vision for your marriage that you have trust there's a vision for your marriage that you don't have to choose between the spouse and purpose that god will make it all work together but you can't use your old tricks you got to become vulnerable to a new way of functioning and so now zacharias has to learn to communicate in a different way some of us with this new vision are going to have to learn a new language did you know that just buying flowers is not an apology putting on that lingerie that you bought 10 years ago is not an apology it helps but this new vision may require that you open your mouth and express what you were thinking and how you were and why you made the decision that you made and how you're going to change it next time this new vision may require that you admit that you're not passionate about the job anymore that you feel like there's a greater purpose for you and that you need help trying to get there because in this new vision we don't pretend and in this new vision we don't act like we're okay when we're not and in this new vision the miracle is more important than our comfort because what if there is a miracle hanging over your marriage's head but the silence is the only thing keeping you from manifesting that miracle zacharias got a word and that word is that we're going to be able to produce in a way that we've never been able to produce before and he has to communicate that word to elizabeth so that elizabeth is on the same page with him because he recognizes the power of miracle moments hanging over your marriage i want to prophesy in this room tonight that there are miracle moments over your marriage and that the silence if you allow it to stay will keep you not just from connecting but from manifesting the generational miracles that your family needs to see that's powerful because so many of us believe that our marriages are called to break generational curses and we're going to be first-time homeowners and we're not going to walk away the way that some of the other people in our families walked away there's a miracle hanging over our marriage some people need big miracles we need billions of dollars but others of us we need regular old miracles like i just want to learn to communicate in a way that my mother didn't know how to communicate the miracle for me would be recognizing who my husband is and treating him like the king that he is a miracle for me would be able to be faithful in a way that my father was never able to be faithful there's a miracle hanging over your marriage's head and i hear god saying that the only thing you have to do is find a different way to function to access the miracle that he has for you i hear god saying that he has already given you the power to manifest the miracle that is hanging over your head but until you become vulnerable to the person you are connected to you will never manifest it but if you do dare decide to become vulnerable and to get on the same team instead of feeling like we're in opposition with one another then i hear god saying that you will recognize that the battle was never with the person you were laying next to the battle was with the devil that was waiting outside of the house i hear god saying that somebody in this room has been making the wrong person their enemy that's not your enemy baby that's your teammate and when you recognize that that's your teammate then you get your game plan together and when you get your game plan together then the miracles can come forth i mean the type of miracles that your family has never seen i mean the type of miracles that your community has never seen i'm talking about changing the way that you do family i'm talking about changing the way that you do business i'm talking about changing the way that you do finances i know you've never seen it i know it's hard to believe it but when belief makes you feel like you don't have what it takes you got to do like god did zacharias and shut down up god has no space in your marriage that has no space in your miracle i don't care what the history has shown in the past when god says he's gonna do a new thing you better get on board with what the new thing is going on there's a new thing there's a new thing happening there's a new thing happening in your marriages you don't come to environments like this and conferences like this and not get exposed to a new thing god what if there's a different way for us to connect what if there's a different way for us to show up and so they start producing from the place of the miracle my text very quickly i'm going to share this with you and then i'll be out of your way it starts in verse 57. and this is important because at this point in the text elizabeth is giving birth to her and zechariah's child which means that zacharias found a way to explain why he was silent and he also found a way to produce in spite of the barrier that they had he found a way to overcome that barrier so she went 10 months without speaking and connecting with her husband the way that she is used to but they found a way to connect anyway in verse 57 it says now elizabeth's full time came for her to be delivered and she brought forth the son when her neighbors and relatives heard how the lord had shown great mercy to her they rejoiced with her so it was on the eighth day that they came to circumcise the child and they would have called him by the name of his father zacharias that was the custom of the time they've had a male son they're supposed to name him after his father his mother answered and said no he shall be called john she knows this because that's what the angel of the lord told zacharias they found a way to communicate and now she is communicating on the same page as what god said about what they would produce but they said to her there is no one among your relatives who was called by this name so they made signs to his father what he would have called him and he asked for a writing tablet and wrote saying his name is john so they all marveled immediately his mouth was opened and his tongue loosed and he spoke praising god this is all i want to share with you about that moment because we're all going to be given the opportunity just like zacharias was given to prove to choose between our history and our customs and what god said we're all gassed up at the marriage conference but 10 months down the road when we have the opportunity to be pulled back into our old customs it's going to be a moment just like this with zacharias where we have to choose do i function in the new vision or do i start acquiescing to the way that i used to be and elizabeth makes the stance and she says no we're going to do what god said we should do and zacharias he does the same thing he makes his stance but when he does this it's really important because it proves to us that they found a way to get on the same page about what was next for them they found a way to become one in the face of those who expected something different from them god help me say it the people in their community thought that they were headed in a certain direction but nobody knew that because of what they had been working on on the inside of their marriage when no one was looking that just when they thought that they were going to be headed in one direction that god had called them to a different arena and this was their opportunity to prove to their community and to prove to their customs that they were going to do something different that that had never been done before and i just wanted to let you know here at this marriage conference that before the year is up god is going to put you on blast he's going to put your marriage on display and when god puts your marriage on display it's going to release the sound and when your marriage releases a sound you want to make sure that that sound looks like what god said when you were sitting in this moment and you received this word you have the right to remain silent in your marriage but i suggest that you don't use it because when your marriage releases that sound it sends off a signal to heaven and hell that it just gained a new army and that army came in the form of your marriage and that no weapon formed against your marriage because it's going and prospered when elizabeth zacharias and god got on the same page and shook up everything around them but they were able to withstand the shaking because they knew that they were standing and planted on a word from god it doesn't matter who understands it it doesn't matter who gets it all that matters is that you and your spouse and your god are on the same page about what he's going to do in your marriage some of you are going to spring up businesses everyone thought that you were satisfied but you're going to be moving to another state why because me my husband and my god are on the same page me my wife and my god are on the same page why do you keep chasing that child because me my god and my spouse are on the same page and god said don't give up and god said to write the book and god said this bring up the business and god said it's not going to make sense to your community [Applause] [Music] so if you wait on your community to get on the same page about what god said he's going to do in your marriage you may miss god and gain the community but if you dare to stand out amongst your community and do what god said to do you will never have to worry about missing god the silence creates division but our commitment to filling the silence so that we can get on the same page so that we can release our sound is the most important journey that any of us can make in our marriage life comes and it hits us hard and it changes who we are and it changes who we thought we could become and it changes the way that we believe but when we stood in front of god and said that we could rock with you in spite of all the changes what we were saying is if you let me in if you allow me to have access to those pieces of your heart that you're trying to keep from me that you're trying to keep silent and i believe we can get on the same page there is nothing more powerful than unity in your marriage i thought about zacharias coming home after being at the temple mute silent and i thought about elizabeth being at home in her bonnet when he came in different and i wondered if elizabeth judged him how could it be that you're the high priest serving in the temple but when god said something you didn't believe then i wondered how many of us do that same thing with our spouse's vulnerability when they come to us hoping to be seen not judged how we question how they could be divided as if we don't understand that pain ourselves i believe that as we're here that god's going to give us wisdom on how to love and connect with the person we go home with i believe that this is just a new beginning for the rest of your marriage and i want to pray with you as i prepare to close i was praying and i asked god i said god what is it that you want me to share with these incredible couples at the marriage conference and he told me i want you to tell them that i intended for every married couple to be a power couple that when i created adam and eve and i told them to be to multiply and fill the earth to to subdue it and to have dominion that i made them the first power couple that when i had this encounter with zacharias and elizabeth that that was the moment that i pushed them from being just regular into becoming a power couple because i wanted to trust them with what i was doing in the earth so i gave them a miracle that only they could perform in the context of their marriage and if they were willing to take the chance to perform that miracle that my power would live in their marriage the goal is for the power of god to show up in our marriages for us to start believing in god to do impossible things in our marriage i need a vision for my marriage so big that it requires god because i need to be a power couple we didn't get married to be housewives we didn't get married to be on bravo we didn't get married so that we could finally have the white picket fence we got married because we stood in front of god and said there's no one else on this earth i can do life with so god i need you to help us get back to your power functioning in our marriage it takes the power of god to forgive takes the power of god to trust again it takes the power of god to receive your husband's heart without hurting it to receive your wife's past without judging it that takes the power of god [Music] my goal is to love my husband so well that it brings him closer to god that he would look at how i loved him and that he would say god if this is any fraction of how you love me god i thank you and i want that in return i'm not gonna lie i want to feel so safe and so whole in love with my husband that when i give him my heart that it makes me marvel and thank god not question him but we're human and we have those moments where the person who we thought would fight with us becomes the person we're fighting with but the power of god can get you back to where you belong [Applause] and i'm gonna pray that the power of god would fall in your marriage and that that power would not just touch your marriage but that it would touch everything connected to you that it would change the way your children love that it would change the way your parents love that it would change the way your sister loves it it would change the way your church loves because they would stand and marvel at what god did in your marriage going to pray that the power of god would fall so hard and so fresh on your marriage that it wouldn't matter whether you had the kids or not because whether you have the babies or not doesn't mean that you're less of a married couple can we have a real conversation in this room i'm going to pray that god would create space in your marriage for him to blow your mind elizabeth and zacharias they were old that's what zachariah said in the text he says we're old and we're barren they had been married a long time but god still had a new thing in mind for them i don't care how long you've been married three days feel like 300 years god says if you're still here i got a new vision for your marriage but he can only give those visions to those who are open to receive what he has for them and if that's you when you're here and you know without a shadow of a doubt that you need a new vision for your marriage i just want you to stand i want to pray with you maybe your spouse is here maybe they aren't that's okay when you stand you represent both of them i need a new vision for my marriage it's not bad it's just not what i know it could be i'm not sure that my marriage makes hell nervous i want the kind of marriage that makes the enemy mad i want the kind of marriage that makes the enemy wonder what are they going to do if they ever get on the same page i want the kind of marriage that makes the kingdom expand into territories and industries we have no business in how could a kingdom couple do business on that level it was the power of god that fell on my marriage how could they do it without any backing without any funding i can't explain it it was just the power of god that fell on my marriage god wants to give vision in this room but first we got to get on the same page of needing a new vision the first thing we're going to do [Music] is we're going to forget those things that are behind forgetting those things that are behind can be hard when they're bad things they can be really hard when they're good things that can be hard too because sometimes we will think that our best days are behind us but we're forgetting those things that are behind our best days are only ahead of us maybe we had trauma maybe we had pain i know that it hurt i know that it wounded but we're forgetting those things that are behind because it's time for a new vision i don't know how you ended up to this place but i do know that if you're here and you're under the sound of my voice it's because god has already decided to do a fresh thing in your house so spirit of the living god we make room for you father we ask that you would help us to not function from the place of our disbelief but to dare to function and perform from the place of where our miracle is promised father we can't afford to be bitter anymore we can't afford to be angry anymore father we can't afford to be disconnected any longer so father it is our prayer that you would clear the lenses of our souls so that we can see our partner the way that you see them father help me to understand how they became silent in the ways that they became silent but most importantly father give me the tools the wisdom and the resources to find a way to communicate in a way that they understand father if i'm too sharp and i'm too direct then father smooth my words out if i internalize and become passive aggressive father help that little person in me to speak up like the adult that they now are father help me to not keep replaying the traumas of what used to be and instead to start dreaming about what could be father what could be if we got on the same page what father what father what could be if we started doing ministry together father what could be if we opened up our eyes and realized that we are not enemies father i pray that you would make them wonder again that you would give them imagination again that you would help them fall in love in a fresh new way not a temporary superficial love but the kind of love that chases out all fear the kind of love that chases out all disbelief father i want to be my spouse's biggest cheerleader i want to be the one person they can count on when they can't count on anyone else and father if i partner with you i will never lose them again so father i turn myself over to you and we turn our marriage over to you and we say have your way great god that you are take as much time as you need to take take as much room as you need to take i believe in the power of jesus that resurrects it him from the grave can resurrect my marriage like never before so spring force life out of my marriage bring forth life out of my heart dead things we bury you resurrection power must come up like never before until glory after glory after glory after glory is all that we experience in jesus name i pray can we send up a shout out praise in this room [Applause] [Music] is [Music] [Music] jesus you

Channel: Free Chapel

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Keywords: Free Chapel, Christian, Church, Jesus, Jentezen Franklin, Gainesville, Georgia, Atlanta, Sarah Jakes Roberts, One Marrage, td jakes daughter, relationships, marriage

Id: PhItrhWPyaY

Length: 44min 13sec (2653 seconds)

Published: Thu Oct 29 2020