>>Russell Peters: Any Filipinos, in the house, tonight? [Audience members cheering] Nice. [Filipino accent] "Hello, welcome to the show!" [Laughter] [To audience member] Are you Filipino, bro? Are you? Why don't you make any noise? He was like, [Filipino accent] "Cause you can see, that I'm here." [Laughter] "I don't have to make noise." "If you can see me, you know I am here." [Laughter] What's your name? [Inaudible] [Russell off-screen] What? Bob? [Laughter] Bart? Mark? Oh, why did it sound like you said, "Bob and Bart?" [Laughter] [English Accent] "Bob." [English Accent] "Bart." [North American accent] Mark. It doesn't even-- [Laughter] "Mawk. Bah. Bob. Bock-- " Are you doing, fucking chicken impressions, right now?! [Laughter] Bart. Mark. Bock-- Bock--Bock-- [Immitating chicken noises] [Laughter] Oh my God, you've got Asian bird flu! [Laughter] Have you been to the Philippines, Mark? It's a nice there. I had a great time, when I was there. I, uh-- I like the people. They're very sweet. Don't you notice that, when you're there? Everybody sings to you. [Singy Filipino accent] "Hello, siiir!" "Good morning, siiir!" "Thank you, siiir!" [Laughter] "Don't touch my puet, siiir!" [Laughter continues] [To audience member] Saudi guy, you know what I'm talking about. You owned a few Filipinos back home, [Laughter] Don't act like I'm even making that shit up! [Laughter] How many Filipinos, in your house, when you grew up? How many Filipinos did you have? Two! You see what I'm saying? He was like-- [Arabic accent] "I do. I had two. They were very nice people, though, I don't--" [Laughter] "I have no disregard for the "Bilibinos." [Normal voice] "For the what?" [Arabic accent] "Bilibinos." [Laughter] Hey Mark, when I was in the Philippines-- Uhm-- Sorry, I'm playing ping-pong, with the audience, right now. [Laughter] [To audience member] And by, "ping-pong," I don't mean anything, by that, Vee. [Laughter] When I was in the Philippines, it was really cool. We were driving, from the hotel-- to the, uh-- to the-- Sorry, from the airport, to the hotel, in Manila, and we were all in this big van, and there was a lady, in the front seat, of the van. She was from the Philippines, and she was in charge of our group. Anyway, we're driving, and I'm looking out the window, and uh-- we're not moving very fast, and we had, actually, stopped moving. But I didn't notice, because I'd never been to the Philippines, and I'm just looking out the window, and the second we stopped moving, the lady in the front seat turns to us, and goes, [Filipino accent] "Oh my gut! And I look at my brother, and I go, "What's wrong with her stomach?" [Laughter] She's experiencing some sort of, abdominal discomfort. [Laughter] She just yelled out, "Oh my gut." [Laughter] So, I go, "What's wrong?" And she goes, [Filipino accent] "Look at all the tropics!" [Laughter] And I go, "I know, I love the tropics, it's beautiful, yeah!" [Laughter] [Filipino accent] "Not the tropics, the TROPICS!" [Laughter] I go, "No, I get it. Humidity-- Palm trees-- Aahhh, tropics!" [Laughter] [Filipino accent] "Not tropics! Look at all the cars, on the road!" [Laughter] [Normal voice] "Oh,cars! Traffic!" "What's wrong with your gut?" [Laughter] [Filipino accent] "Not my gut - Oh my gut!" [Laughter] I go, "Why is your gut, on the ceiling?" [Laughter] [Filipino accent] "Not my gut - Oh my gut"! [Laughter] [Normal voice] "Oh, your God!" It's cute. In the Philippines, they think they have traffic problems! Have you been? Did you think they had traffic problems? Fuck no! I had just flown there from India! [Laughter] You're not going to impress me, with your shitty traffic, in the Philippines! [Laughter] In the Philippines, you may have a lot of cars, but there's some sort of order. For the most part, people will drive in their lane. The will generally stop, at a red light. India's insane! [Laughter] In India, we have a system called, [Indian accent] "Create-a-Lane." [Laughter and Clapping] [Indian accent] "If you see an open space--" "Take it, and go." [Applause] ♪ ♪
