The Parents That Raise Their Kids Without ANY Rules | Raised Without Rules | FULL DOCUMENTARY Origin

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i'm shaving my hair in britain a growing number of parents are taking the bold decision to raise their kids without rules total freedom let them be kids they don't need to learn how to read them right at five or six better to not have any meals no rules means you can do whatever you want but what happens when there's no bedtime no boundaries and even no school i just decided you know you're not going back to school tomorrow and he just went yes this no rules approach is gaining momentum and every year thousands of new parents are taking their kids out of school i was just like oh my gosh they're all crazy like what they're doing could these kids be happier more independent and better equipped for life than the rest of us there's too much nambi pam being about there's too much footing around everything or are they playing a dangerous game with their kids futures i did like myself on fire how do they learn boundaries when they're going to work used to be this kind of subculture travelers you know it's not it's normal people realizing car what a better way of life [Music] 11am on a school day morning in yorkshire on a normal street is a household different to all the others [Music] the rawnsley family have ripped up the parenting rule book and are rebelling against the system [Music] parents gemma and lewis have seven kids they're bringing up without rules their first step was to opt out of a traditional education and not send their kids to school what does a childhood like this give kids independence freedom and ability to think for themselves freedom to just go yeah you know what i want to make this decision i can do it because my parents are going to let me do it whether or not it's the right one might be like they might do it and then realize oh i've hurt myself because i've decided to hit myself with a hammer what do you learn in your house well we learn how to make fires how to make fences don't squirt my pants it's just really fun because our parents out like other parents are really strict [Music] mum gemma works from home as a mobile hairdresser yeah yeah what do you want to do i like to shave it all right then flick that down and you just need to like flick your hair over to one side have you always let the kids make decisions about their own hair yeah for one thing i don't think some parents even understand themselves why they don't let the kids cut their own hair because it's kind of ingrained in you that you have this ownership of your children um but really and we shouldn't say like that it's not about owning your children that means it's working [Music] like my fundamental like purpose in life is to raise happy healthy children i make sort of calculated risk decisions so if something might seem dangerous to someone else i might look at and go okay maybe it has risk attached but the benefits are that they learn responsibility and they know that i trust them they learn skills rather than just filling the head with knowledge that they've got to remember and write down on a piece of paper you're giving them like motor skills that will start to stay with them for the rest of their lives mom what do you think let's have a look oh my gosh i think i've done it that's amazing you're like a professional okay would you let your kids cut their hair probably not i don't know i just worry that she'd cut herself that's all the vast majority of british kids go to school but in the last two years there's been a 65 increase in parents deregistering their children from the system it appears more families are rejecting the traditional way of bringing up kids and embracing rule-free households in salisbury lives mum jenna and her three sons [Music] none of them go to school it's not too hot yet just in case we get some splashback oh you're going to try it because you must have seen me do that oh you can't eat rice i'm cooked it's not ready yeah with her husband working away jenna makes all of the parenting decisions so what are the days like in your house i don't really structure our days we've got we've got things in the week that are the same like archie's basketball his drum lesson i think certain things like meal time and bedtimes give them security they know what's what but other things i don't i don't think it's important when you have your own family actually do you think you'll do it the same way as your mum and dad would like to be like mum you would or wouldn't which oh that's nice you know you keep them alive every day and you make sure they feel love and security i think that's i think that's it and i think there's lots of other things that different families find important but ultimately for child's being loved and they feel secure and they're being kept safe i don't think there is oh and they're being kept safe ah [Music] daddy would be really upset if he saw how much water was going on to the floor that he says don't get water on the floor [Music] um well no because he's not even two yet he's just playing he doesn't realize that he's he doesn't realize that he's sweet hasn't been naughty has he's just been experimental well he he would know that he'd done something wrong and be mortally upset with me and then that's going to have a knock on effect negatively i think be careful because i hurt myself from there before jenna wants her sons to have as much freedom as possible so she's brought them a caravan to play in stored on a naples field got a drum kit there got speakers up here tv basketball hoop just because i wanted one in here how much time do you spend here quite a lot all by himself yeah i lived in there and bought my own food and stuff and i had a job as well but then i got fired jenna made the decision to take archie out of school six years ago when she noticed a drastic change in her son's behavior he was seven and he was really depressed at school he was very anxious going to school every day he wasn't reaching the targets that they wanted him to reach and the way they handled it was just it was just horrendous for a child of that age to be worrying so much i just decided you know you're not going back to school tomorrow and he just went yes first of all i tried to mirror school i was like right this is our plan of what we're going to do this week and we're going to do all these subjects and i saw that he just had a block with reading and writing so i decided that what he needed was to discover what his natural interests were which has been drumming and everything else to kind of build his confidence up you say your reading writing levels are the same as everyone else your age no not really i just don't really like reading writing anyway if i need to write anything i can just like speak into my phone that's the easiest it's a tuesday afternoon in yorkshire and whilst most kids are in the classroom the rawnslids have free reign of the local park i just heard all the kids in the school yeah it's not a bit weird i'm not criticizing people sending the kids to school by any stretch but i do think to myself it's a little bit like they're pending there and then these guys are just free and i think that's the most important thing but it's like every day for them is just like being a kid there like i'm gonna be a kid today do you know what i mean it's just about being children really as the sun sets it's bedtime for other kids on the [Music] street but for the rawnsliz the knight is still [Music] [Applause] [Music] young gemma and lewis let the kids make their own decisions there's no bedtime and no rules on what you can and can't eat what are you getting clean tasty ice cream late night snack yes little tiny marshmallows it's 22 uh 11. 2011 on a tuesday night so the kids are still up awesome i've got work to do um see it's gonna be all night do you like them having the feeling of freedom yeah yeah it should be you know as an adult you get to choose when you want to and tweet you know if you're hungry you go get something so why can't they [Music] this new style of parenting has given the kids a rare freedom but one member of the family is starting to crave a more structured lifestyle [Music] i'm just putting away clothes that got wet yesterday because we're having a water fight clothes are very organized well there's my clothes which are these and then all my pants are down here now phoenix's are here it's just it's in my nature for things to be tidy finley's made a big decision who wants to go to school yeah i think i'd like to go to school i think i'll really enjoy it i'd like to go because of all the friends there and and the school work as well i actually enjoyed doing the school work i like it sophie mommy said i wouldn't be that company do you think rules are important yes i think rules are important like if there was no rules there'd be no [Music] government [Music] is a part of a growing number of parents who are raising their kids without rules chef lewis and hairdresser gemma juggled the childcare today gemma has a packed day of work so she's leaving lewis alone with the seven kids but change is coming to the rawnsley house finley will be attending school in a few weeks time dad lewis is struggling with the idea so i feel we've got probably a very close and intimate relationship with the kids because we're such a big family unit you know this is our tribe this is our family and you know this is how it should be that's how i feel anyway i don't feel like we should ship two of them or three or four five six them off to school every day for somebody else to teach them how to live their life and to to be brought up in a world you know and there's our kids and you know we should raise them so i feel very strongly about that really despite lewis's concerns the parents have agreed to a three-day trial before the kids commit to a new regime brace yourselves finley is looking forward to the change that school may bring i just like the way that you get up early and do all your stuff and go to classes on a certain time and wake up at a certain time because i'm the kind of person who likes to work properly and do schoolwork so i feel like i'm wasting the day if i wake up lit and when i do school work i feel proud of myself afterwards because i feel like i've achieved something since finley's announcement his big sister skye has also decided she'd like a place in the school trial hey as the only two girls pearl and skye have always been close and pearl's not so keen on the idea why are you doing that trial and how do you feel that's why you know what it's like to do school but i'm actually going to do school you don't want to go to school but you're going to try yeah i might go and love it and i might go and hit it it might be i'm excited i'm also scared as well like oh all my nerves are kicking in at first when i found out i was really upset when i found out she was going to school and i was crying why because i don't want my sister to leave in lewis's opinion educating his kids at home has always been the better option stuff like this like the kids are held to build these boxes the kids will help do jobs not as soon like just vacuuming washing up and stuff but actually buildings of pearl helped me build the playhouse was that similar to europe no my upbringing was boring it wasn't anything that stands out with my childhood where i go oh wow that was like awesome and unique it was just yeah kind of standard 905 stuff go to school come home have your tea do your own work play for a little go to bed that was it in bed at a certain time or put a certain time so i just rebelled against all that [Music] the teenage years are a test in time for most families but for jenna who's trying to raise her children without rules there's no blueprint and it's a step into the unknown if we have a civil war anytime soon i'm gonna feel quite protected he's got a really good shot where would you draw the line would you let him play with guns [Music] um yeah i think i worked with archie because archie's very responsible so yeah i mean i would trust arch you in most things but like i would never just go there's a gun go and play it'd be like oh let's see how this works and i wouldn't just let him pop into town with his gun thirteen-year-old archie is given free reign to do what he wants when he wants but his lack of formal schooling has caused issues within the family what what name grandad mick doesn't agree with his daughter's approach and has insisted on paying for archie to have a private tutor it was his idea i think he likes it because he knows that i'm getting proper lessons what's he worried about i'm not learning enough are you worried about that no get to learn cool things like this oh damn didn't do the owl before the you now you can see why he's having english lessons um supposed to be an l yeah a club it was but i forgot to put the air in i went straight to you i'm a traditional dad oh i'm just a traditional man i'm 66 and i grew up where i went to school and i have a sunday roast every sunday with a pudding that's got custard because i'm a traditionalist so my tradition is that the kids go to school now when jenna told us that wasn't going to happen with archie we fell out big time yeah oh yeah we feel like big time she knows that we don't agree with it but jenna she gets her head on summer and that's it i mean she just loves her kids but she's not too great with the discipline in yorkshire it's playtime as normal for the youngest of the rawnsley's seven children [Music] hello but the eldest finley and skye have other things on their minds in two weeks they'll be attending school for the three-day trial should i bring you back a school uniform if the kids enjoy the experience gemma has agreed that they can attend full time in september she's brought them into town to buy their uniforms finley let's get a blazer on you you actually like smart closer yeah you do so i reckon though the school blazers will be even more restrictive than your regular blazer it's like keep in line keep conformed you're not allowed to take your blazer i know unless you know ask for permission that's it i'm really red-hot can i take my blazer off i used to have to ask permission to go toilet at school what do you think it's a bit big this one look in the mirror if you want there's a minion changing it's a bit big maybe should we try a smaller one on come try a smaller one on then like i keep swaying between do i want you to go door do i want you to go door i can see pros and cons for both of them but then i keep reminding myself it's not actually my choice and that's quite scary because what if you what if ultimately i decided oh i really don't want them to go and you do go that's it they're gone so it is a bit it's just i feel really emotional about letting these go it's natural i actually quite like foot now it's quite fun can i try on everything yeah so this you're already changing so i can just look finley are you in there i'm looking at finley now and it'll make me so proud watching him set off to school on the morning but then i swear the other way and i'm like [Music] [Laughter] you can't do that back home younger siblings phoenix and pearl are quizzing the local school kids is there a lot of rules in your house you are standing on the table and not taking pens upstairs and if you spill your drink on the table then you have to clean it up yeah and then you have to drink it in the kitchen so what time do you go to bed then just mean that's good today after emmerdale and i have to go to the coronation street and we is it nice to maybe make friends with them no why not seem like weirders they definitely have much more rules than our family does why do you think some parents have so many rules because they're worried that they'll get hurt and then i've most of the time most parents the reason they send them to school is just because they can't be bothered to taking care of them but with our family is that we get to choose if we want to go to school or not so it's different what do you think their life is like next door a bit weird they're quite different in what way like school is because i go to school at home and we go to school at a real school and what would you guys do if you didn't go to school just watch tv won't learn anything [Music] in the past the idea of removing kids from school and structure was considered alternative [Music] but now in search of a better life more mainstream families are giving it a go hall's home to mum vicky and dad mike yeah just be gentle because you eat it too bad it might break okay yeah i know a bit of break they have three kids and they've recently decided to try removing the rules from their household okay okay high five do you have a gentler way of kind of getting them to yeah because obviously that could have been like stop that now let me get the point across now he's locked himself in earlier this year they took seven-year-old jessica out of school she was so sad and so upset every day i was at the point where jessica where i just kind of thought you know what i don't care if she never learns to read and write as long as she's happy i'll no play did you come up against a lot of um opinions when you decided to make these choices yeah a lot a lot of people kind of said what are you doing you can't do that and are you allowed to do that is that even legal um can you just take your children out out of school um and pretty much everybody we told was kind of a bit bewildered really that you literally you just write a letter and then the education is your responsibility in the uk there's no law that obliges us to send our kids to school once a child is deregistered they don't have to follow the national curriculum or take exams so long as you give them an adequate education so what you choose to teach your kid is largely up to you who taught you to quit jessica vicki doesn't have many people around her that share her interest in no rules parenting so she relies on help from online communities initially i was just like oh my gosh they're all crazy like what they're doing and one of the big things that they do is they let the children have their hair however they want and there was like little girls with shaving heads and things like that which socially is kind of everyone goes oh no but they look so happy and you could see in the in their faces how happy there was but i think one of the main breaking points for us was that whilst we was trying for delilah we had four miscarriages and it kind of makes you not appreciate the kids you have but appreciate the time you have more i just kind of said to my wonderful life's too short we can't just go around doing the daily grind nine to five for for nothing nobody's happy and it was about three o'clock in the morning i just woke up and typed the d-ridge batter and went in the next day and i was like oh my god i can't believe i've actually like wrote this and i was sat there and i was like do i take it in or do i post it and i didn't i didn't have the guts to actually take it in myself so we stuck it through the letter box and then me and jessica run away from the letterbox really quick and was like that's it it's done and we came home and we sat on the surface and we did nothing for the rest of the day and it was great vicki wants to give the kids free reign to learn at their own pace and make their own decisions ex-soldier mike is less comfortable with the idea um i think it's still got to be a level of structure well it's nice about it's always got to be a level of structure it's going to be all right it's wrong to do that oh no don't beat your sister at the head with that bat that's going i think it's guiding rather more than yeah well a child still needs to understand that you are the parent and they have a child and you when you say something it's for a reason there's still a boundary he can't just go run free destroy everything spiral children we are children here we are it's an unusual early start for finley and sky in yorkshire today they'll be starting their three-day school trial finlay good morning [Music] how you doing are you gonna go get showered morning for me good morning we don't usually do time management we just kind of normally just get off and start doing stuff quite seven we're gonna leave in an hour if all goes well they'll be attending full time in september please deliver these stones thank you all right i'll get my chair and my hair sky you look terrified uh like i thought i thought i'd be excited but i'm quite scared [Music] nervous i'm all dressed in my school outfit you look very smart how do you feel huh a little bit excited a little bit scared but i think i'm gonna do fine okay oh it just didn't seem real to me before but now i've realized they could actually go i'm losing them [Music] oh darling you spend a lot of time together don't you mm-hmm just let you know jim it's not like 25 to see when i got 10 minutes all right okay so i need to speed up a bit hey it works thank you do i get smile oh that's lovely have fun guys [Music] awesome well it's like taking home scrolling at finals [Music] i worry about them just becoming bog standard human beings who lose their good ethics and morals that i've put into them and who get into bad habits and bad ideas choosing to smoke or you know look at pornography on like people's mobile phones or you know i'm worried about them being me led down the wrong path i don't want them to go down but in the day they've still got to go out there make their own choices so yeah i do feel a bit worried about that for decades parenting gurus have told us that boundaries are vitally important but now a new wave of parents are turning their backs on discipline and prioritizing freedom we're here newbies vicky and mike are almost a year into noble's parenting they're visiting their friends joanne and john for a barbecue hi [Music] [Applause] the men have known each other since their time in the military they now work shifts together delivering furniture john's struggling to understand the idea of no rules parenting until 10 o'clock just let them do anything that they want the thing yeah though if you can't do what you want and yeah so how does that work because once you get them how do they learn boundaries yeah when they're going to a work place a social situation i'd be completely out of my comfort zone if i have that and actually it would make me feel sick i think and john would be the same if a situation comes up and it needs some sort of discipline are we gonna handle that that's my classmate don't ask you why don't you do this terrify you i think it's just having that like flexibility i think i would worry like if i was doing what you're doing i worry you know am i teaching the right things am i missing out on the socials but social side she's got like the best social life ever she goes out more than i do you know she's at different clubs all the time we've got rock climbing horse riding ice skating and it's all women do she make friends with me oh yeah i'd say if anything she's got better friends now than she did when she was at school because she can choose who she wants to be friends with in salisbury concerned grand admic has organised weekly english lessons for 13 year old archie who hasn't been to school in six years so let's just think about this word right do you ever worry that the decisions jenna makes about parenting and schooling will hold archie back we did have a big fear that you know he would get to 16 and if he couldn't read and write and do arithmetic that that would hold him back rough rough rough cold light full rich [Music] drunk so let's take the sound strong well done but he certainly is so much further along than where he was good i mean reading that putting together of words he really struggled at first yeah so now we're really pleased with how he's getting is that quite a weight off your mind yes yeah no one you know now that he can he can read and write you know maybe not as well as he should but this time next year he should have caught up to where he would be that's all we ask really you know jenna carries on with her life teaching and we can maybe get him learning some other things as well certainly not the life that we would you know wanted her to lead but you know she loves it it's lunch time on skye and finley's first day at school they've been allowed to film so they can share their experience with the family so this is after computing and i'm just in the changing rooms in a site of toast so this is my um history room and there's uh [Music] the rest of the kids are back home with gemma made your fingers work yeah always keep your fingers out the way of the night despite the kids never going to school she has taught them all to read and write we too return return to the boil and cook yes or four nine to eleven yeah minutes yeah she enjoys the freedom this lifestyle gives them incredibly liberating living like this and it's been a real shock to the sisters only going to school we're now living two lives so we're all kind of all this is still going on as usual in the middle of it we've got sky and yeah but this kind of life where it's it's noisy and it's fun this is what i love this is school hall this is where we have dinner i just do boring stuff like assemble is a pink little sister pearl is worried what school might mean for the family sky's very like unique but like um i'm worried that she's gonna change like she might change in some in someone different like not being her in salisbury jenna and the kids are visiting grand admit hello hello hello mate no kisses today all right boys for the last few months mick's been paying for archie to have weekly english lessons did i tell you i was talking to his teacher i forget her name though and she said that he's um he's come on since he started having the lessons yep he's come on leaps and bounds i spoke to the lady about um maths as well yeah he said so you know we'll see but i am a little bit concerned dad because we're gonna be leaving and i don't know how often he'll be able to go oh right yeah the sessions may need to go on hold as jenna wants the family to travel around europe you say you know you're you're you're going you're traveling yeah when are you going and where are you going we've decided we've made a bit of a plan that we're going to go around the uk go to scotland and wales go and check out lots of places of interest then we can drive all around europe but mick's worried this extra step is going to affect more than his education he should be in town getting into trouble and but what i think because that's what teenage boys do they come into tony or like that's not necessarily all teenagers i worry that archie is 13 and he's got he hasn't got 13 friends if he went to school and mixed with other kids my that's one of my biggest things about this this whole thing is the fact that i actually doesn't get the chance to meet other people you're basing that on your experience and your no listen your experience and your personality and i was the same and dylan was the same but he wasn't are you gonna have to agree to disagree no no we just won't agree and that's it and all about it we just won't agree but that's okay but we're all right because we're used to it we just believe differently it's like and that's fine all i wanted is for my kids to be happy and and she is so that's good enough [Music] okay [Music] finley and skye are back from their first day at school everyone's very subdued and tired look who it is look at the back they've been at school look there's aliens in the house do they smell different it was very um [Music] different do you miss your brother honestly no [Music] that doesn't really bother me because i was only on six hours anyway i might really expect to be missed did anybody pick on you no so you're going to follow in finn's footsteps and go to school i'd say no not going to go he'd be doing a lot of stuff which he hates being for us to not do that much stuff he likes being a bit lazy sometimes is that true how is it different to home a lot more lessons a lot more school work it's not as chilled out as home you have to wear a restricted uniform it's nice i enjoyed it um like i'd say the 60 chance of me going to the school i'm 40 staying so that's going to be interesting will i go over or not in hull mike's away working and vicki's home alone with the kids it's been nearly a year since she started experimenting with no rules parenting and today vicky has agreed to let seven-year-old jessica dye her hair at school when you're at school you can't have purple hair and i went to school when i was a teenager i um i had my hair a variety of colors and i think it broke my mum's heart a little bit that ruined my hair vicky's decision to take jessica out of school was motivated by wanting to give her more opportunities in life not many people do leave home you can't people kind of stay and there is jobs people do work but they're very limited there's a lot of factories here a lot of offices and people generally say well if they don't go to school how are they going to know how to work in an office and think i don't want them to work in an office every day working for somebody else to start their own business or do something that excites them that interests them i want them to see stuff and see further than the humber bridge travel down the m62 and and see what's out there rather than staying here for the rest of the life how would you describe your family now compared to a year ago happy just half literally happy everyone's settled all the stress has gone we're not worrying about going to school we're not worrying about pack ups pee kits homework trying to get jessica to read books that she didn't want to read because she didn't like reading it's all just gone and we enjoy life now it's easier [Applause] [Music] do you like it what do you think dad's gonna say when he gets back from work mike's returned home after four days on the road working hello oh yeah [Music] juice no no what did you do when we dyed it she died yes and whose idea was us was it your idea i think it wasn't that yeah yeah it was like a pants on fire for mike life has changed dramatically over the last year although reluctant at first he's now coming round to vicky's way of thinking i think ultimately you just want your kids to be happy regardless of whatever they do if they choose to work at the supermarket or they decide to go to university what's happening what does it matter what's worse that could happen you know i thought they're gonna be more happier we've got more days out and more good fun you know no no no how do you feel about it vicky it's like one less thing to worry about as such who can like fully commit to freedom i think he stopped murdering at me now yeah it's six weeks since 12 year old finley and 13 year old skye had their school trial today they're celebrating wolf's first birthday peek-a-boo [Music] [Applause] skye has decided school's not for her finley has also come to a decision about their future i definitely think school isn't the right thing for me i enjoyed making friends and socializing with people and i liked some of the learning but summer learning i felt like the bad side was some of the learning was pointless it did bring structure but it was just repetitive and i had to do it every day and sometimes you need a brick but you just can't take a break i like structure but it's very restricted structure you can't really do what you want i enjoy being places like this on beautiful days like this this is what i enjoy because i'd be at school today [Music] for gemma the experience has confirmed her belief in their way of parenting you've got to do what's right for you and your family but my point in all this is i don't think a lot of people are doing what's right for them or their family they're just kind of doing what their parents did or what their friends are doing and it's like this what i would encourage people to do is just go okay what do we actually want for our family how do you feel about the kids not going to school i think it's the best thing ever school for me it's like that constraint i've like got there together and we can look after them so what do you want to be when you're older i just want to be happy and free really yeah i want to live a happy life with my own family oh my own family as well yeah so are we done now yeah yeah can i go yes thanks [Music] you
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Channel: Origin
Views: 1,760,327
Rating: undefined out of 5
Keywords: raised without rules, home schooling, home school, home schooled, raised without rules full episode, raised without rules full documentary, documentary, parent documentary, Raised Without Gender, parenting tips, parenting, spoiled kids getting owned, spoiled kids, badly behaved kids, raising kids, raising children, children documentary, parenting documentary uk, parenting documentary, off grid parenting, adele and matt allen, off-grid parenting, extreme unschoolers
Id: OJlDfgi094w
Channel Id: undefined
Length: 46min 6sec (2766 seconds)
Published: Fri May 07 2021
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