What's Life Like in a Private British Boarding School? | Leaving Home at 8 Years Old

[Music] for generations the country's elite has been formed by uniquely British institution the private boarding school here children as young as eight are sent away by their parents to get the best education money combined we followed four of the youngest boarders through the highs and lows of their first term [Music] with the separation today will be April Ross's first day at boarding school this is my best feedback ok Snickers I like it see that give there is a real horse inside there is that yeah yeah good covering it up inside well I think there is the Rosses for an army family who were frequently moved around the country they've already sent their eleven-year-old son Alex to boarding school to give him some stability now mum Sandra is dreading the thought of also sending her daughter it's difficult it's gonna really really crucify me but I feel that it's a sacrifice I'm making and I'm hoping that it in the future it will prove to be a april's benefit we just check there's nothing in your room that you want to take I mean if my reading glasses a little hug whenever you are feeling sad and things aren't going right and your usual happy smile has slipped right out of sight I'm poor hide mummys silly is actually here's a little hug from me if I cannot be there because I want you to know just how much I care okay you know I'm crying because I'm happy gosh kit if we're thinking of it I miss having breakfast every morning I miss having to watch children TV Hannah Montana on the TV all the time I'm gonna miss just chasing around after her I'm gonna miss certainly gonna miss kissing Oh goodnight gosh everything I just I just don't really want to think about it I'd say that's comedy I've sort of put that in the lock with little box at the moment and I just deal with that when it happens I'm gonna really miss her she's mad she's my little soul mate she really is - April will be going to high field in Hampshire one of the country's top prep schools from today she'll be living in a dorm with three other eight-year-old girls they're all new to boarding and this year they happen to all come from army families twins Caitlin and Simone are the first in their family to go to boarding school like the Ross is their parents are sending them to high field in the hope that staying in one place will do them good we went to Germany one over six months old came back when they were 7 and with my job at the mob with another possible two three moves until I finished and the forces first one had been a year today I'll be moving we thought let's was really looking at the bottom side of life April's other new Tom made it Lottie her dad went to boarding school from a young age he's keen that his daughter should do the same although her mom Sarah is still reluctant never swore from the day she was born that no child of mine would go to boarding school but Jeremy boarded but from 13 so he was very keen loved it and ever since we'd had children but he quite went to the moon to board and I just said no and now he's one [Music] [Music] [Applause] [Music] it's stupid why do I get salt pleasure gasoline you would be why if you didn't oh I know [Music] the children are now the responsibility of mr. hesselman the house master in charge of juniors at - girls we don't seem to be getting on I've already put the boys right sound he's been looking after new boarders for the past ten years mostly the first few days it's also exciting and busy that that you that sort of gets you through then later in the term yeah when things have seemed to go on smoothly the homesickness can come up all of a sudden it's always there in the back of your minds and that you know that that's going to be an issue for somebody at some point whilst the girls get used to their new surroundings at home the absence of the children is beginning to sink in but it realize have defied some actions now about and really anxious about not missing her calling just I've only had eight years and I don't want to let go yet and most mummies find it hard when they're told in the eighteen obviously I want to hear she's not happy but you know it would break my heart if such double-edged swords I'm dying to hear if she's not happy I want to know I don't want them not to tell me but I think it probably is happy it's the way to carry on talking when you're feeling make sure that this part is usually run off in front issues but even with her being happy it's with her not being part of my life really she's too young [Music] [Music] when he goes there was it sleep all right it's a year old a poor Ross's first morning a boarding school how was your first night girls sit off I kept from rolling around to my bed so she came up April sharing a dorm with twins Katelyn and Simone and Lottie let's go remember we've all gained a really big family we all watch for each other now at breakfast the girls meet the hundred older children who also brought a rifle for Simone who cried in the night it's all too much and the staff step in to help oh you know there is no magic cure for homesickness there's no one that we can wait to make it go away there's no there's no medicine we can give them for homesickness it really is a matter they just have to learn to cope with it they have to learn to develop coping mechanisms and strategies obviously with our health and our guidance if we could pop a pill every night we would to take away their homesickness that that doesn't exist [Applause] [Music] to help the boarders get through the separation the school tries to keep them as busy as possible a full day of lessons is followed by extra one-to-one tuition and evening activities aimed at bringing out the pupils maximum potential if anyone's going to feel homesick it's often at the times when things are quiet and in fact they have to do an after-school activity every day of the week all through the year in the Junie house around with other people's you know have a chance to disappear off on your own too much by teatime Simone is feeling better you've had a fun day today now we're gonna if you would like swim free swim go to the catering get ready to swing but at the end of a busy day Simone's homesickness returns the school nurse mrs. Dunn is on hand to comfort the children this morning she came up after breakfast because she really didn't eat very much a breakfast it's been actually miserable breakfast since she arrived but she came up and we just had a little chat about how it's really really normal to feel like that it would be very extraordinary if you didn't miss you know Ben being away from home we had a chat about that and how it will get easier and you know the SIRT the tricks are to keep yourself really busy and get yourself really tired in fact April buddied up with Simone today and I think that helped you in order to settle the borders as quickly as possible for the first week the school urges parents not to call their children it's very difficult because often a child that is home sick will naturally play up to their parent on the telephone because that the contact hearing the voice that that contact always makes children far more emotional so we do try to advise the parents that you know actually they really do just have to sit back and trust us and and the difficulty is handing over the responsibility of their children to somebody else you have to try and persuade the parent that actually they might know their child better than I do but I know the environment in the situation that they're in better than they do letters from home or a high point for the children cannot see how are you how is school we guessed that when you read this you will have been at school for eight days so the school regularly updates the families on the board has progressed after hearing of Simone's homesickness her parents are finding it hard to hold off from calling her we're asking them like when do you think the best time for us to ring or you have to ring them things in there it was that give them a few days we we usually say several days or so we thought oh okay then then we sat around each night wondering what what they do and never not spoken to them and I wondered if it's been explained to them that why we're not ringing and even now we haven't got them the phone cards ready yet nothing do they know that we're just there on the way and then they can but I'm just worried that things weren't explained to them [Music] parents can visit their children once a week after sports matches on Wednesday afternoons [Music] seven days since Lottie left home her mother Sarah has jumped at the opportunity it's a weird to feel nervous about seeing your own daughter it's the first visit from a parent since the girl started boarding April's mom is working and can't get to see okay when I see you and I see you in the atrium okay the twins parents also can't make it right come on then bring Basile and as Sara takes the girls out for a treat the twins are left behind in the boarding house you guys can do now that the school gave you talking stuff right now beef um yeah what times that [Music] that offense is going to bankers you open your eyes and you try to feat you that you're on your own buddy you open your eyes and you think [Music] borders can only leave the grounds for an hour Alevis it is soon over in the next few days the routine continues and the girls begin to realize that their lives have changed yeah we're trying now I it's like I'm from home really what's the worst battle what's the most difficult bit I'm not seeing your mum not the only bit yeah yeah I've been without my mouth for two days where deburr not for a week is it harder than you thought oh yeah much harder what's been on your mind Mason Sabinas waiting Sinmun that's oh really [Music] 10 long days after the start of term April's mom Sandra is on her way to pick up her daughter [Music] all four girls are going home to spend the weekend with their parents [Music] you don't whant get pizza don't realize how much I missed you until you come home but we worked it out it's nice though isn't it because now we just have lots of special time yeah every time you come home yeah well will you go back to school yeah and then you've got a whole week at school and then you've got water wars is on Sunday you want to do that don't you that's the aisle don't you won't always say messy and then you go back to school you up at another couple of weeks or something and then you've got half time it's got another whole week it's at home what do you think of that okay so just sort of break it down into bite sizes every time yeah yeah and then that way you don't miss mummy too much and I don't miss you and I can come down and see you on Wednesday yeah we'll see how it goes here [Applause] right in eight-year-old April Ross is at home with her mum Sandra for the first time since she started at boarding school I know we're gonna have a lovely weekend okay right that night Tony god bless April's brother alex has been a boarder at the same school for the last two years most weekends he chooses to stay in the boarding house rather than go back to his parents well right now we're doing our force and we dress up that's terrorist and we run round boring house turn it to be Tarrasch I really never e Wednesday and Saturday because or Wednesday and Saturday where my matches are so then I can tell her if I won or lost [Music] yeah we're just chilling on face it's called alpha force yeah why you shielding your hair because then it will self capsules they don't know who it is they can't tell us okay ready right let's go and get that office go go go [Music] [Music] [Music] the Rosses hope that April will enjoy boarding as much as a brother but as they take it back to school for the first time it still early days for both mother and daughter right come on we made a promise to know what you took make your eyes okay no more tears okay we begun bye-bye sweetheart just remember I never stopped [Music] she had such a good week last week she was in such a high she came home on such high and then Saturday morning she woke up and she came into my bed and of course afraid I'd gone because afraid had gone at the crack of dawn and she just broke into floods of tears and just said Oh mommy you know I just missed you so much and she said you know I love Highfield she said but I just hate Baldy and I you never liked you never want to see your children upset you know about anything I mean it's something that maybe you've sort of inflicted on infected just makes you feel really bad you're not a wicked mother but sometimes you feel it sometimes you feel with it we'll see we give it time unless a I'm sure we get her as the term progresses the girls are beginning to get used to life in the school lot is settling in particularly well she's taking a lead role in the DOM and her mother Sarah is becoming a convert to boarding what I'm getting is really lovely time when we're appreciating each other and I'm not having the shouting at her to get ready in the morning and shouting her to do her homework and we just seem to be having the the nice time together which is lovely I'm really lucky I hope it works as well for Henry debating at the moment whether or not send him as a day boy or a boarder but um part inspired to send him boarding by lot his experience and the fact that she'll be there to look after him a bit twins Caitlin and Simone are becoming more confident and appear to be adapting well to their first taste of public school have they changed since the beginning well now cutemon says gas mask instead of gas mask and she talks about France and fight yeah I do I'll do murder there's some of their words off like but after her first visit home April is finding it more difficult you always want to but then you end up having really good time yeah they just need to think of fun that you're gonna have yeah and try and not think of all how much I know is difficult yeah but you have to try so you're gonna try and good sleep yeah yes try not to get upset yeah yeah alright goodnight nice knowing that Caitlyn April's developed a strong attachment to his King a gappiya student who helps out in the Junior boarding hers she was a boarder herself from a young age and knows how tough it can be i started boarding school when I was nine and I left when I was 18 and um I was on the Friends of my mom every night begging her to go and get me she never did ever which I didn't like April's brother Alex also struggled with homesickness when he started boarding this weekend he's left the school to go to his best friend's house if you keep going home yeah I think so that's why I stay in quite a lot not only because it's fun activities because I know if I go home and then I come back and then I think I miss mom now cuz I've seen them and then because if you don't see your parents for quite a long time you become - you can't you get used to it but if you keep seeing your parents you keep saying I want to see mom again I want to see mom again but because I see mom maybe I'm at school for maybe two or three weeks then I get more used to being away from them but April goes home every weekend so she sees mom for a weekend and then she thinks I really want to see mom again in the week so I think that makes it a lot harder [Music] was he like back in your room what's the best things are better I'll see your mom doing everything but if you're not doing schoolwork not being weights up at 7:00 in the morning having more yeah well being hugs and stuff I don't like going back to school [Music] soon April won't be able to come home as often as she'd like the Rosses have recently learned that the army will be moving them three hours away from the school when we move Fraser's going to be in Afghanistan my two children have been around in Hampshire at school I'm stuck in Suffolk and I think I'm gonna feel really sort of like a real redundant mum I'm gonna feel very it's gonna be wrong school bag school shoes the plan is April to stay in school for most of next term so the Ross is needed to settle as soon as possible [Music] okay but as she goes through the second half of term things don't get any better they just said the vanished was not seized not the roses are so concerned but they're now beginning to question whether they were right to send April to boarding school in the first place every week I say hey Fraser and I say right look we've got a we've got to have Plan B I am going to be looking into local schools so that if it doesn't work out then when we move in March that April will come with us but I actually it's a it's a heart Anna and ahead which one rules my head says that actually you know long term and for everything for April the best thing is that she stays where she is and we just Griz it and we get there eventually but then my heart kicks in and sort of says but how long do you kid yourself that it's actually going to be okay how long do you actually give yourself before it before you know you do draw the line [Music] it's November in the boardinghouse and eight-year-old April Ross is struggling to get over her homesickness to make matters worse she's feeling unwell you come and find me in your surgery and talk to me about it let me know because it's really really difficult for mummy and daddy they knew when they hear you so upset they can't do anything in a final attempt to settle - Sandra has decided to limit her contact with a so tonight it's April's father Fraser who's calling to check up it's been a heartbreaking decision for Sandra especially at a time when her daughter is feeling vulnerable I'm sorry you're so upset you know Fraser was explaining how upset you are and it's so difficult isn't it you know Anu and April is so close and when she's upset you're heartbreaking but I think the toughest thing for you is you're you know twenty thirty miles away you know you have to trust have your trust in us that you know you know we're looking after April the school rallies around April and are convinced that Sandra's making the right decision we're the one that the children come to wear the one the shoulders that they cry on and all that sort of thing and I think the mums can feel slightly detached and they do feel like they've been sidelined because they don't have automatic access to them and they have to put their trust in us and we have to try and impress upon them that we do know what we're talking about and to have to say to a parent actually you know if you want to find out how your child is doing contact me phone me and boarding office or contact me by email but please you know try not to phone too much into the house because actually you because your child is is perfectly happy and then the call comes through and then they you know they just plummet quite frankly and then we have to scoop them up and off we go again I feel quite redundant at times and I just I do miss the children you know just there's no other way to to say it's just tough yeah yeah I miss them so it's not it's not easy it creates a void in your life that you just have to fill and I haven't quite worked out how I'm filling it properly yet you know I'm starting to do the local pub quiz I'm getting quite good at that so that's good to be a plus but so it's it's a funny sort of existence really [Music] [Music] as autumn becomes winter the girls become closer and April appears to be getting over the separation give me away [Music] now that you're at the end of the first term what was it like it was scary and I was excited at it's fun we will always miss a mom sometimes you forget about them and then you can you feel okay yeah could you forget about them and you say oh I'm this day at the weekend yeah there are people that day was what do you think about that which is the it's strange but I mean they're boarding school and of course they the mums and dads said the matter I don't really know but I'm there if you don't miss your mum's kind of a natural so way unnatural [Applause] [Music] April seems to have found a new way of coping she's got a new best friend at some point I did say to my monk and I can't suffer with you but only on one point and then thank you sir she's not that bad but you you you won't the only time you get really really bad on the phone no really really bad but it's at bedtime yeah bedtime and saying goodbye to Mum is so bad in part from the one here because that was really quick I just ran up says come I have kids and watch your bye and that will do anything but I didn't buy them should you think that you're learning that the best thing is to just get over and democratically yeah [Music] it's the last day of term and all of the girls parents have come to watch them in the Christmas play [Music] kaitlin saman Lottie and April will return to Highfield next year to continue their new lives as boarders I think that didn't really well and it's nice that there was able and Lobby because they're getting on so well I wish there was ten more April and not lose in that house that's because I think the people around and definitely help it's been so much better than I thought it would be the whole thing has just been shot such a resounding success but um you know I'm thrilled very proud of her [Music] couple of weeks ago we took her back holder on the Sunday and she was fab actually she was brilliant and it was the first time that we didn't sort of have the tears and the you know that the build-up to it she doesn't rely on me so much which you know it's it's selfish for me to say it's hard because it is hard but it's actually lovely to see her growing up and developing what I don't know is the long-term effect I don't want April whether she be 13 or 14 or 18 or whatever turn around and say but Mum you know you you and Daddy you sent me off to school and I was too young and I and I really you know that it's got a profound effect on her later [Music] so you know I still battle with it and I still don't know what the right answer is [Music] you

Channel: Origin

Views: 1,817,535

Rating: 4.7949009 out of 5

Keywords: bbc documentary, parenting, wellbeing, mindfulness, support network, shelter, nct, charity for parents, family lives, kensington mums, mind, mums group, mummy social, raising a child, weird parenting wins, bare minimum parenting, respectful parenting, origin story, boarding school, private education, private schools, leaving home at 8, best schools, worst schools, best education for kids, homeschool, full documentary, a week in the life of, a year in the life of

Id: d6vfjWBT45o

Length: 45min 18sec (2718 seconds)

Published: Fri Feb 07 2020