The Only Secret To Becoming Debt Free Is HARD WORK!

[Music] you can be intentional about your character you can have money and a career you are the hero in your story live from the headquarters of ramsey solutions broadcasting from the dollar car rental studios it's the ramsey show where debt is dumb cash is king and the paid off home mortgage has taken the place of the bmw as the status symbol of choice dr john deloney ramsey personality best-selling author and host of the extremely popular dr john dolone podcast is my guest today my my guest my co-host today and we're glad to have you here have him here to answer your questions about your life your money your family your money your boundaries and relationships and we'll talk with you about what's going on the phone number is triple eight eight two five five two two five that's triple eight eight two five five two two five jeff is with us in dallas to start off this hour hi jeff how are you i'm doing great how are you doing today better than i deserve sir what's up yeah quick question i'm fairly new to investing i did work with an elp when i started my new job last august to select my options um and when i look at the options now i'm just curious like i see like for example in the large cap options they have i see other options in the one he told me select i have a similar rate of return but the share prices are drastically different so should i also be considering their share prices or just focus strictly on the rate of return share price means nothing ah okay it's not got it it has nothing to do with anything it's just the number of uh you know people that they have in the mutual fund divided into that i mean in your share price times your number of units equals your total so i mean you can have a 10 share price hundred dollar share price it doesn't affect uh you know what you're getting and what you end up with you're going to have the same if both of them had an 11.6 rate of return uh they're both going to have the exact same results got it so in other words if you buy a share of stock for 100 or you buy a share of stock for 50 and you put 10 000 in either one and they both go up eleven point six percent it's the ten thousand dollars that's going up not the share got it okay the total of the ten is gives you the returns so you're putting the same amount and you're buying less units with a higher share price more units with a lower share price but it's really just irrelevant so you're fine i mean as long as long as you're in good mutual funds that are giving you good strong rates of return similar to what the stock market's doing you're going to become wealthy if you keep following the baby steps and working your way all the way out john the good news is that um just like when you're dealing with a mental health situation um uh with a money situation with a marriage situation with a career situation with king coleman these areas of life um most people don't succeed in an area of life just because they freaking don't pay attention it's not because they do the wrong thing as much as they just don't do anything they do nothing right they just sit there they just go oh well you know i wonder what's on tv tonight my marriage is in the other room burning down you know or my kids are in the other room yeah my kids are in the room doing heroin but i wonder what's on tv tonight i've got everybody a screen a screen everybody's quiet yeah that means we're winning right and so and that's what they do with the money it's just yeah you know as long as i'm you know nothing's getting repo'ed so nothing's burning down so i'm i'm okay the difference is that guy is paying attention at a granular level at a very granular level at a nerd level i started to turn and ask you hey dave i know we're in front of a couple of 10 million people or so but what's he talking about but you explained it so that's good i've not even gotten that granular level yeah but i mean if you pull up your mutual fund statement it says that each share that you own is that worth x and you own y number of shares and x times y is the amount of money you have in there so if it's ten dollars and you know you own a thousand shares then you have ten thousand dollars right so um and that's all it is but the the share is is a your portion of this mutual fund that's been mutually funded right and so if there's if you're in a mutual fund that's got uh you know two billion in it your share is a share of that if it's in a mutual fund that's got um you know 500 million in it you know a fourth of that then your share is a share of that but the rate of return is the rate of return return is the rate of return is the rate of return it's it's based on the dollars you have invested total okay not the share price but the good news about a guy asking you know it's easy to make fun go that's real nerdy who gives a crap you know because it doesn't talk but the good news is he's paying attention he's paying attention and people who are successful at any area of their life are the people that pay attention okay so i've got a thing i always want to reward people that pay attention i've got a theory i want to know what you've been doing for a lot longer than i have what why don't people pay attention why do they pick a thing that they just choose to tune out on i don't know my theory is in is my personal lazy it's intellectual laziness for me it was denial it was okay denial or yeah some kind of a a repressing mechanism of some kind yeah i don't want to face it my marriage or parenting or my my physical fitness or my mental i could go in and be directly involved in to some degree the route that would take right when it comes to finance to the stock market it's almost like a presidential election i can do my right thing and then you got to step back and let the thing go right and there's a there's a fear component for it for me yeah yeah i mean buying a house you know you can't control what house prices are going to do they are right but you can go well you know for the last 75 years you know here's what they've done i'm pretty comfortable with that so i'm gonna buy a house and probably gonna work out for me you know you don't have to have this big you know predictive model of some kind on your house with your marriage right like most people say if i ask this question there's gonna be the occasional person that doesn't like that question but for me it's always come down to fear but i don't know what what it is across the board yeah it can be it can be laziness yeah it can be i'm just you know why don't you want to work out more i'm too lazy i'm not going to do it once you talk to your kids i don't wanna really wanna sw i mean why did anybody run unless somebody's chasing them you know um you know you have that kelly we're dog getting ready for the marathon i was running the half marathon a bunch i was running a few years ago and she said it's in the bible what's that that you don't run only the wicked flea when someone with no one is chasing only the wicked flea when no one is chasing so all of you runners there kelly's got your back literally so but you know the the you so fear it can be fear i'd uh i can be i'm overwhelmed i don't know what to do and so i get paralysis of the analysis during the headlights or whatever it can be it can be laziness yeah um and uh the problem is in america that you can be half but and have a really good life just coast because everyone's taking it you're gonna have a really good life in america being a half butt in fact the good life is now in injecting fractals as the nerd way is creating things that are to be hard for you so that you can grow right yeah i mean you've got to be intentional about discomfort muscles aren't growing unless you're sore that's right you know and lives aren't growing unless they're unless you bump your knees my relationships aren't growing if i'm not having hard conversations unless i'm going well man i don't think yeah yeah but that's leaning into that there's a success principle to that in any area of your life and this intentionality the power of intentionality you become what you think about earl nightingale said jesus said as a man thinketh in his heart so is he and when you have nothing in your brain you're going to become nothing and there's plenty of people who are happy to take your money and just plop things in your brain for you right well or yeah or pat you on the head and tell you how good you're doing when you really suck you know what i'm saying and take your money doing that exactly oh aren't you cute i'll take your subscription fee and you're not keen ugly there's nothing cute about that really i'm kind of cute yeah well and humble my mom says i am and humble well your mom she's obligated this is the ramsay show [Applause] [Music] we were drawn to christian healthcare ministries because we both had young families and we wanted to have more children and we had also just started a real estate company and needed to find health care coverage that would meet our needs we were attracted to chm because of its low monthly costs and the ability to negotiate medical costs down established in 1981 and accredited by the better business bureau chm is here to meet the needs of your growing family or small business check us out at backslash chministries.org we absolutely believe in it dr john deloney ramsey personality is my co-host today this is the ramsey show where we talk about your life your money and your life the phone number triple eight eight two five five two two five patrick is in columbus ohio hey patrick how are you i'm good how are you better than i deserve what's up alrighty so my question is i'm 17 years old and i just finished my thousand dollar emergency fund which technically covers way more than six months worth of expenses for me all i pay is insurance so my question was should i keep putting in that to anticipate the future for when i move out after high school or maybe start investing a little bit or use that to start setting up for your financial coach master training who is this guy wow all right well uh patrick we teach folks that are in high school and living with their mom and dad at home and foundations for personal finance that their their fully funded emergency fund is 500 now then you bring up an interesting question that someday you're going to transition and move out as that day approaches you're going to want to have a full on uh we'll call it an adult emergency fund of three to six months of expenses of whatever your life would look like if you had a job and lived in an apartment didn't live at home but that's a different world than you're living in today in the interim you could save towards that transition or you could save towards a different goal i would not begin investing at this stage i don't think it's necessary you got plenty of time you're doing great you're paying attention and no i would not suggest you do the financial coach master training uh at this stage of the game that's too expensive an item uh for you to invest in at your young age you'll have plenty of time to do that later when you want to move into it but i don't really want to take a 17 year old's 3 500 bucks away from him and him not be able to make some money as a result of doing that because be highly unusual for someone to come to a 17 year old for financial coaching yeah that would be a i have a hard enough time coming to you man you've been doing this for a while and i'm older yeah exactly so yeah i love talking about it but it's cool that you know again back to what we were saying before the break uh paying attention oh man and um you know it's not to say you can't do any of those things you can but it's it's uh you know i got my real estate license three weeks after i turned 18. i've told this story before uh and who would buy who should buy you shouldn't bought a house from me i was wearing my tom selleck mustache you know magnum pi i had the uh the disco clothes on because i didn't have a suit and i actually talked people into buying houses which is not a real good reflection on them uh you should not buy your largest asset from a miniature tom selleck in a disco outfit and so um bobblehead made yeah y'all don't remember magnum pi before he was doing um infomercials on oh anyway yeah [Laughter] so there you go but all right sierra is with us get me out of the sierras in evansville indiana what's up sierra hi dave hi john thank you for taking my call um i am new to um your program very good friend of mine um gave me your book um total money makeover i've read that and i've really tried hard to apply those principles long story short i'm a single mom of an eight-year-old boy i work two jobs and traditionally i wait i work six to seven days a week but my total income projected um as things stay on track it should be about 27 to maybe 30 thousand dollars which is very low um by total debt which is student loans picarno and some old uh dead debt by your standard is about forty thousand dollars and i've already paid off eight thousand within three months but i just kind of want to know your opinion do you think it's worth it to stay at these jobs because i am sacrificing so much time for my child [Music] you're a warrior princess lady thank you he is lucky to have you in his life you're amazing um well uh i i think if i'm in your shoes i need to see more traction for the sacrifice right and so i would be willing to give up some of the hours if i was being paid a lot more and so resetting your you know getting some better jobs that pay more make it more worth uh in the sense of the the advancement that you make on your on your financial goals make it more worth the time away now you don't wanna i do not wanna sign you up for a thing where uh he's eight years old and ten years from today we're still in the same wheel running and running and running and running and you've really made no progress and he and you pretty much have been gone the entire time um he was there that that means your career path didn't go well right so uh and uh i'm not concerned about the old debts i want to get some of the new one the current ones that you're paying payments on out of your life so you got that money back each month you don't have to pay it out to somebody else you can use it for your family right so um i think what i would do is probably work on the career side of things uh but no i wouldn't be away from my kid for minimum wage as an example okay yeah um that doesn't that doesn't prove anything except you're willing to work hard right um because both of my jobs i'll be very honest they're they're very much so dead in jobs i'm a telemetry technician um and at a hospital i work um 12 to 16 hours for three days a week and then the rest of the time i'm waiting tables at a small restaurant um our area doesn't really have a whole lot it's pretty uh like low income poverty-stricken kind of area and i didn't finish my degree so what did you start your degree in nursing um but i with kovid i have decided i don't want to be a nurse i okay my job i call time of death i deal with a lot of death and i want to get away from it but this is where my insurance is and my benefits so i'm honestly i think it's more of i'm scared to leave because um you're sure to leave because you don't have anything better you can't just cold walk out the door right of course i would never do that so what i've got to do is if i'm in your shoes what i have to do is i have to have a new goal and say okay how old are you by the way i'm 29. okay so when you're 39 and this kid is 18. what is sierra doing with her life that pays double or triple what you're doing now right um well my goal i actually have two goals them which are polar opposite from each other um i love being in the business of hospitality and um you know with waiting tables it's really opened my eyes that i have such a passion for being social with people and enjoying them that i would love to open my own restaurant okay and do that side of things but if we're talking about like um another personal business because i've realized i would like to be my own boss so i can live the life that i want to live i have always had a passion for like maternity like with babies and expectant moms so i have considered opening my own photography business and just catering to mostly maternity um birth photos and then newborn photos which could be you know fairly there's some interim steps in either one of those businesses that you could start immediately right if you're a good photographer you can start putting yourself out there as being willing to take pictures of almost anything and work your way towards babies and if you want to someday open a restaurant and be in that business why don't you start baking something or starting a small catering business okay on the side and let that be the replacement for the waitressing job as soon as you can get it moving as a matter of fact you might you might approach your existing boss about letting you manage his new catering outfit okay and uh then later on maybe he gives it to you after you get it running and then later on you become his competition when you open your own restaurant or maybe not because you open a different kind of restaurant that's really not a competitor of his but the bottom line is you could start cooking out of your kitchen and doing small catering things by yourself paying a friend out of your back pocket to help you with the trays and begin your career because you need to do something to move in the direction of your desired future and your kid is going to watch you work and scratch and claw is going to participate and help you out yeah our friend christy wright did that with your mom's baking shop a single mom's baking shop and you're playing a long game with him and man he's going to step back and tell the story for generations about his how his single mom scratched and clawed and hung out and dragged him along hang on i'm going to put you in her business boutique academy she just closed it but i can open it i own it and um put her in there and give her a business boutique book and let's get her going here [Music] what makes our show unique is that we genuinely care about our listeners we're intentional about choosing the best advertisers to recommend blinds.com is no exception they offer high quality window treatments at unbelievable prices and they make it simple to shop blinds shades and interior shutters with easy online ordering free shipping and a guaranteed perfect fit go to blinds.com and take advantage of this week's special savings [Music] [Music] dr john dolone ramsey personality is my co-host today open phones at triple eight eight two five five two two five annette is with us in sacramento hi annette how are you i'm great thank you so my question today is i'm a teacher and i'm due to retire in four more school years my husband is already retired but we've not had to touch his through savings plan or his social security at all i have a required retirement that i put into through my school district but about seven years ago after reading starting to realize that you know what we want to have more money when we retire well i didn't realize about annuities so i invested into a teacher annuity and then after reading your book a few years ago realized that was a mistake and so um i've stopped putting into the teacher annuity but there's about 125 000 dollars into that and we fully funded a roth ira for last year and for this year are ready we're completely debt-free including our rental property and our house should be paid off the goal is that it'll be paid off before i retire or i'm not retiring because i don't want to have a house payment afterwards so i don't know what to do with that teacher annuity i asked our financial advisor if i should try to roll that into a roth ira but he said then i would be taxed on that full amount and with what i make that my husband's retirement were we're like at 130 140 000 a year and he goes you would be paying a lot in taxes yeah but he didn't offer he's right i agree with him but he didn't offer for you to roll it to a variable annuity with him taking care of it um no he didn't and i'm not because this was something that was optional um through my school district i had gotten a settlement and i didn't want to get taxed on it so i was trying to figure out where to put it this was seven years ago but you could roll into a traditional ira not a roth ira and not have any taxes and then i would be able to control the amount of interest in yeah and control what it's invested in yeah okay and do you know if you're able if you put into a teacher um annuity or do you know if you're able to roll the roll that over um well if it was a pre-tax annuity if they it's up to the school board it's up to your particular employer i don't know what teacher annuity can mean a whole myriad of different things so you'll have to find out but it sounds like your investment advisor didn't want fool with us so get in touch with one of our smartvestor pros and ask them to to tell you in your area in the city of um uh you know sacramento what can you do uh and if you are able to roll this and just because it's in an annuity if you roll it to a roth it does become taxable that piece of information was correct but if you roll it to a if you can roll it to a roth and it becomes taxable then i know you can roll it to a traditional and there's no taxes and that's what i would do i'd move it to a traditional and put it in good mutual funds and get it away from there if you're able to but i don't i do not know what the guidelines and regulations are with each individual county across the nation and what their deal with their teacher annuity is and tells me something that the the the financial advisor didn't immediately try to grab that into another product maybe yeah okay um should have if they're able to but he told her not to do it because of taxes he didn't tell her do it not do it because she couldn't do it that's fair that's what's bothering me so um i'm thinking that uh yeah get click smart investor pro at ramseysolutions.com and get one of our smart investors and ask them and they maybe can do it for you that's a possibility so something to something to check on for sure thank you for calling kareem is with us in toronto hi kareem how are you i'm good how are you mr ramsey better than i deserve sir how can we help um so i just want your opinion on something so i'm from toronto i just uh i'm graduating university right now i actually just broke my last exam a few hours ago congratulations man what's your degree in uh business good for you did you pass this last exam i hope so i just got one exam back that i didn't do too hard on [Laughter] but uh yeah so i'm uh yeah i'm gonna i'm moving to new york in a few months uh for a job uh and i wonder your opinion on if i should potentially buy an apartment instead of renting uh in new york it would be somewhere in midtown around three or four hundred thousand um and i have a fair amount saved already um and my job specifically doesn't allow me to invest in a lot of stuff that i would normally invest in so i was thinking of that as an alternative that i could also live in so i was hoping to get your opinion on that so you said a fair amount what is a fair amount um i have like 50 or 60 000 saved okay what will you be making at your new financial job um base would be around 100 and then bonuses variable can be between 20 and 50 for first year so i'm guessing you're moving into an analyst role which is why they're not allowing you to invest in things that you might be actually analyzing yeah okay hey i i like dave you you can of course counter in i i like folks to work at their first job out of college for a year or two before they just plant their roots so deep or get real close to their financial ceiling there the 400 000 apartment yeah i'm really good with you getting settled in and all the other changes in your life without also becoming a real estate owner for year one particularly after year one yeah you know you start to talk about it you can use that year to pile up even more cash by the way and there's a possibility by the way that manhattan midtown real estate is going to be cheaper in a year yeah there's a possibility yeah because the freaking place is a ghost town yeah for now yeah i know i don't know i'm not more bullish on it than most i know but i mean people are leaving there by droves and supply demand curve is going to affect real estate prices i don't know what they're going to do but i don't think they're going to shoot straight up um i'm pretty sure that i don't know whether they're going to stay flat or turned down but um you know you've just got the you know the the midtown economy's just been damaged by the continued shutdown the prolonged shutdown so anyway no i would not buy the first year i agree with john and all of those other reasons i think you move down there get you an apartment pile up cash uh you've obviously got a wonderful job congratulations making serious bucks straight out of school pretty freaking amazing and um and you've done a great job saving money so far be debt free have your emergency fund in place and save as big a down payment as you can save in the next 12 to 18 months and then talk about buying that's what i would and dave i think again i've got my experience and just my students who graduated but if if he were moving to kansas making a hundred thousand dollars and was going to buy a 200 000 house i would say hey just sit for a second you don't know where you're going to want to live in this new town you think you want to do here you think you want to um you're this is going to be your forever job like every new college graduate does and it ends up shifting and changing i i just want someone to get all that stuff settled in now maybe that's not a rule of thumb but no i think it is it's uh it's a time of high transition yeah and so and and adding one more thing to the bowl of transition is is is equal to stress and aptitude to make a mistake right um so yeah i don't disagree i think you know it's kind of like we talk about a young couple getting married don't buy a house first year same kind of a thing you know it takes a year of being married to know how close your mother-in-law to buy the old joke we use over and over and over again you know that kind of stuff so um that's uh that's the thing and so uh uh you know and that's true you're in a in a one of the more transitional uh phases of your entire life right uh another way of saying it the least stable right uh and so and really and real estate's a freaking anchor few people think they know more about how the world works than a new business grad what are you saying maybe a new psychology grad what are you talking about dumb too but i'm telling you a 21 year old business grad is like i think i've got this figured out what i need to do is this and everyone's saying hey just be wise slow down ah but i got it right they may he may have it i i'll be guilty as charged when i graduated i i definitely knew everything about the economy oh only to discover i know nothing about the economy this is the ramsey show [Music] [Music] dr john deloney ramsey personality is my co-host today you can join him on the dr john deloney show as well as with me today he's on youtube on podcasts uh it's everywhere and make sure you jump in and you can be a caller on his show you can email to set that up ask john ramseysolutions.com or you can leave a voicemail at 844-693-3291 when it comes to making big money or life moves like buying a home getting married having a baby it is likely the last thing on your mind to make sure that you have the right insurance coverage i get that that's kind of nerdy but you know what big changes are overwhelming and what would be even more overwhelming is to find yourself in a situation where you didn't have the right coverage yeah bad if not having the time or energies what's keeping you from getting it done get with one of our endorsed local providers our elp insurance agents to help their independent agents who will help you find the best coverage at the best prices and they don't charge an extra dime they get paid when you get the best deal and buy that's how it works all you do is text the word insurance to 33 789 i promise you're going to save money text insurance to 33789 amanda is in oklahoma city hi amanda welcome to the ramsay show hi hey what's up so i am 40 about to put a single mom about to get my last daughter out of the my last child out of the home um i did it i did it i'm so happy they made it they all made it out alive they all made it out alive and they're happy and they're healthy and they're amazing and my last is happy and healthy and amazing and it's a blessing in itself oh man we've had a wild ride hey man so yeah i'm very happy so i have my emergency fund i am debt-free good credit score and it made a point where i want to buy my second home um it's been a few couple eight decade since i bought a home but i would like to buy a home and um do it wisely obviously i have enough to put my 20 down and finance or i could save for the next five years and buy cash okay what if you put your 20 down and financed it and paid it off in five years it's the same numbers oh okay sure if you can save up the cash you could pay off the debt yeah absolutely i can yeah i don't yeah now i don't i don't own a home now we have had a pretty uh rocky road the last 10 years um scraped and scrambled just to get where we're at and it's really a miracle that i'm where i'm at now it's not a miracle you're a rock star yeah there's nothing miracle about how hard you've worked amanda there's another miracle about corn coming out of the ground when you plant corn exactly exactly you're a hard-working warrior princess you're a fighter i am i am yeah what do you do for a living i understand that so i just got a new job i i start on the third and i'm in touch with her very good so you got a new job the last one's moving out this is this is the year of new beginnings it's really the year of amazing blessings my income is only going to skyrocket from here um i am beyond blessed i am just blessed mars are upon measure wow so powerful good for you and how old are you 40. yeah oh you're i got a five-year-old and i'm older than you you're just getting the party's just starting now how many how many uh kids do you have eight three and how long have you been divorced oh my gosh i've been doing it on my own about 16 years but i've been divorced for 12. okay you're a stud wow absolutely amazing you're fun you got hey it's great yeah just put your you know you're debt-free you have your emergency fund in place you put down as much as you can put down if 20 is what you got that's awesome do it and if you put it on a 15-year fixed and the payment's no more than a fourth of your take-home pay we're happy because in 15 years when you are 55 your home will be paid for but guess what you're probably going to pay it off in five years because that was your plan anyway yeah and really not much stops you so no no nothing's going to i'm only going to get better and then if you allow your kids to come visit you which you may not want them to they can come to you it'll be awesome that was my other question is should i i really don't want the bother of you know a new roof and a new windows or having a bias you know get any uh guy in here trying to fix my house i was kind of concerned about whether i should well but also a house my kids could sell when i'm gone and they would have that uh honey you're 40. you don't need to be worried about when you're gone you just you just get a will and they'll deal with it you're not even halfway done yeah exactly i i mean i'm working on my will right now hey amanda kind of on the forefront of my mind amanda for the last 16 years you've been doing this all by yourself thinking about every other person in the world and what might go possibly wrong well and then when it did you've been duct taping and wiring it and knitting it together so it didn't fall apart and now you're finally gonna do something for yourself and you're projecting 40 years into the future to think what might be the right decision do something for amanda this time buy a house you're gonna love for five years oh okay i'm buying my forever house there's no such thing yeah nobody lives in a house so condo would be okay condo be okay but you don't buy it because you're worried about your kids taking care of it after you die no i don't why because you want it i don't have to take care of it in five years what do you want what does amanda want that's that's that's john's point yeah you've earned that that's not selfish it's good mental health right this is the new phase of your life everything's new it's a fresh start white board's going new job kids gone got some money going to buy a house life's good 16 years of scratching and clawing and getting her done and now you put three-fourths of that energy into amanda and like you say you're going to blossom you're going to your income's going to skyrocket you're going to go zoom zoom joy's going to skyrocket it's going to be incredible so i've we've got a thousand folks working 967 this week on our team john and uh just an encouragement to you single moms single parents for that matter out there i you know you're all worried about if you're gonna mess up your kids or something um because you're struggling and you're scratching and you're clawing and you're working three jobs and money's tight and it's hard it's hard i don't i mean i've got a bunch of the children that grew up with you that work here yeah and you know what they all say my mom's a hero they don't go oh i had it so hard when i was a kid my mom was a single mom and i never saw her and i need counseling none of them say that zero they were raised by a warrior princess that's right and they all go my mom is my hero my mom took away every excuse i could even remotely conjure up to be a victim yeah there's no chance i can be a victim because i was raised by her right she outworked me three to one there's no chance i feel like i'm entitled to squat it's like my job when i show up i have a late night and i think man i just i need to i'm gonna sleep in for a second and then i think nope because dave was at this event with me and his butt's gonna be here at 5 15 in the morning roofing the house or whatever he's doing up here at the building redoing the carpet himself and so yeah it's like i've never you just don't see colleagues who are raised by a single mom say anything other than no i have a blueprint for what hard work scratching and clawing and love and actually they're not damaged goods no they're resilient strong and powerful yeah and they're not entitled little snowflakes they'll just outwork you three to one yeah because they just that's so they know that's what they know you guys that are raised by the amandas of this world you know what i'm talking about and uh you amanda's out there yeah they will grow up and move on praise god we all say that by the way and so um the trick is for them to stay gone and when they move out they need to stay gone no boomerangs here no boomerangs so uh we're gonna just move yourself out there and you're just we're gonna watch you from a little short we love you but you're gonna sit out there at a distance amanda you're you're a hero man thank you for being who you were and who you're gonna be amen very fun stuff what a great call good stuff well that about puts this particular hour of the ramsey show in the books our thanks to james childs our producer kelly daniel our associate producer and phone screener i'm dave ramsey your host and we'll be back before you know it [Music] hey it's kelly associate producer for the ramsay show this episode is over but if you heard about an event product or service and didn't have a chance to write it down don't worry we list everything you've heard about during this episode in the podcast show notes section or head to thermzyshow.com thanks for listening from the headquarters of ramsey solutions broadcasting from the dollar car rental studios it's the ramsay show where debt is dumb cash is king and the paid off home mortgage has taken the place of the bmw as the status symbol of choice i'm dave ramsey your host dr john deloney ramsay personality best-selling author is my co-host today open phones as we take your calls about your life and your money anything going on in your life dr deloney his podcast is extremely popular these days join him on that and he talks about everything in the world in the mental health field but certainly about boundaries and relationships and marriage issues all those kinds of things and you're welcome to join us with those today as well triple eight eight two five five two two five thomas in san diego starts off this hour hey thomas how are you i'm doing great how are you doing better than i deserve how can we help you so i actually have well i have lots of questions but today my question is for dr john bring them all on thomas so a couple months ago a friend of mine a good friend he was working for his dad living with his parents and something happened it wasn't entirely his fault but his dad kicked him out and fired him he was not in a good situation and last wednesday one of his best friends died in a car accident and so he's 19. he doesn't have a job right now he's staying with his friends and i you know i've been trying to encourage him you know offered him a place to stay i am just wondering how long i should wait to talk to him about you know finding a job and kind of getting his life back on track how old are you i am 18. okay what are you doing these days man um i'm actually a welder i make about 50 000 a year i just got engaged so i should be getting married next year wow and yeah well you're a good friend man you're doing good and he's lucky to have you um so here here's my experience and thoughts on this and i'd love to hear dave's too the unfortunate thing about grief is um kessler says it's like a fingerprint everybody does it differently and so really the the greatest gift you can give someone who's grieving the loss of a friend is your presence what we often try to do is make ourselves feel more comfortable in that silence that that just in that darkness and we try to give a bunch of advice and you should be doing this and here's how you should be feeling and really man people just need us to show up as he says uh grief demands a witness you got to have people around you um what i've found is that people will invite you in when you show up meaning they will eventually at some point usually sooner rather than later turn to you and say hey what what i do now and when you get invited into that conversation is when i'd love you to come work for me or i've got a spot for you i know a buddy who's got a restaurant you can get a part-time gig or something running at somebody who's hurting especially their friend just died the other day and saying well you need to you need to you need to i haven't found that to be super successful even though you know man just laying around the house is going to be hard grief just looks ugly and messy and different for everybody now if you look up and it's six months and it's a year and he's couch-surfing and he's losing weight or gaining weight and that's when your a group of friends will get together and say hey we're worried about you um we're really struggling to to know how to love you what do you need from us but right now fresh off the back of something i would show up and um be a presence with him what do you think dave all right yeah we call that um the ministry of presence and uh the last thing you do is you quote some pithy saying ugh uh or some bible verse i want you to just go sit and don't say a freaking word bring tacos yeah bring donuts yeah chocolate covered and uh they're good for grief and um and they're good for you sitting there quiet too because you got something in your mind just keep shoving them in man keep your mouth shut yeah and um then uh if he asks a question i would just turn it back on him i wouldn't answer his question what do you think i ought to do what do you think you ought to do yeah you think i ought to get a job you think you ought to get a job just turn it back on him because he already knows the answer so this kid's got this young man has more than just grief from the loss of his friend he's also really pissed off at his dad right yeah and hurt about all of that so he's got like stuff upon stuff right now so again just hanging out and bring tacos and bring donuts and that kind of stuff i completely agree with john um now here's the necessity thing too he also doesn't have the luxury of doing nothing right financially for a long period of time and sometimes the faster you engage in some activities not to mask over your grief but to get over yourself and realize this whole thing may not be all about you uh the faster you get on with it is uh and go get a job it gives you something to do and keeps your mind busy a little bit and that's not to not go through the proper grieving process but uh i mean what if he'd had a job and his friend died well he can't quit his job and sit and cry he's going to keep working and still go through the grieving process so by the way he could go get a job and really it would help him right now because he gave him one less thing to worry about because he's also sitting around worried about where he's going to live and how he's going to eat because his dad booted him out and um self-preservation is starting to enter into this like when we went broke john lost everything they were like um you know uh you know what you do after bankruptcy someone wouldn't work you got to i don't have a choice i get two little babies i got to get the dadgum lights on you know i got a i got i didn't have a choice i didn't have time to sit around thinking about what was going on i just had to i had to make some money right and there's something about those little wins that are so critical well you start you build your confidence you build uh you can begin to work through the um a it's not all about you and b um you know you didn't cause it all or what i mean you begin to you can you you can you you still can process the psychology of it uh in action while you're in act while you're in movement yeah yeah but there's those moments when you just your feet feel like they've been encased in concrete yep and you yeah and what you need more than anything is i love it no nothing that could be knitted on a pillow yes i just need you to sit with me i can give you three scriptures to never use just sit with me and never use them yeah ever ever ever in that situation no you know i can just don't don't these are not there everybody wants to quote that it's going to be okay because they want you to be okay they mean well but it's just looking for silver linings isn't the point they emerge over time yeah after please don't tell me how this is all gonna work out yeah no no no i need you just to sit and hurt with me thomas he is um really fortunate to have you in his life i'll tell you that right now um he's he's he's blessed to have you just sit and show up and be awkward so john entering into this give me 15 seconds on this one of the antidotes for depression is activity you're right [Music] the purposeful activity yeah so to not fall into depression as a result of all these things happening to this guy yeah some activity is not bad sometimes it's as simple as getting up and brushing your teeth and going back to bed sometimes it's and it's it's you work towards it but yeah finding people going to work sometimes that's exactly what activity is better than inactivity almost 99 almost 100 of time here we go this is the ramsey show [Music] hey folks i got a great option to help you pay for your education the army national guard the army national guard believes you are the next greatest generation because you have proven that even in adversity that you have what it takes to succeed that's why they offer benefits like tuition assistance career training and a paycheck to help you avoid debt no matter what your goals are the army national guard can help you get there visit nationalguard.com to find out more thanks for being with us open phones at triple eight eight two five five two two five dr john deloney is my co-host today anna is with us in houston hi anna how are you i'm good how are you doing dave better than i deserve what's up so um i found you about oh gosh maybe a month ago um i've got a bit of a good question i guess um i lost my husband uh about four months ago oh i'm so sorry thank you um you know just dealing with everything um he he had a 401k um account with his work that's when i get converted to an ira um i have some savings in you know my own 401k um i've gone through your baby steps and i'm um going to be dead you know putting money away for retirement all that good stuff um the only thing after that is the house at this point so i don't know if it makes sense to keep them you know the ira and for my 401k as is and let it do what it needs to do excuse me and just start paying down my debt out of our my house i guess out of my you know just my regular paychecks or cash some of it out but that you know that there's taxes and what not deal on that money um to do that or is it just you know for instance just pay down the house as i go along how old are you 41. what 41 41 oh okay i thought you said 21. so what happened what happened to him oh i'm sorry long fight uh about two years yeah yeah he thought that he fought it you know to the end yeah i'm sorry um how long were y'all married uh sixteen years before actually and how much debt do you have not counting your house nothing nothing everything oh it's just the house just the house and how much is in the 401 case in retirement and all that um his uh if his 150 mine is 100. okay what do you make about 140. good for you what do you do i'm in finance actually um what do you what do you want what do you owe on your home uh 300. okay all right so his 150 rolled to an inherited ira correct correct yes okay so it can come out without any penalties but with taxes at any time right that's what they told me yeah at any time and you're also required to remove it systematically over the next so many years uh they have a required minimum distribution on it and they just changed it i can't think what it is off the top of my head but um it's like five years or something you're gonna be pulling it anyway oh i didn't know that okay we just changed it about 18 months ago and uh used to be like over 30 years but now it's over maybe maybe 10 years but it's a shorter period of time anyway and um okay we got children i have a son yes what age 13 okay all right and you have other savings other than these two accounts um i have an emergency fund um set aside in like a savings account um and just you know cash like you know in and out whatever's in the bank um well i can tell you this sharon and i've been married almost 40 years um our estate plan is predicated on me dying first because she has planned it that way but but uh in case that doesn't happen i'll tell you how i'm gonna react uh i'm gonna be useless for a while if she were to pass away before me and um 16 years is not that much different it's just um you have some days that are that that are okay and other days you still can't breathe right yeah exactly exactly right yeah and so i try not to make big financial decisions until i get at least six months of that behind me to where i can breathe better and the fog on my brain lifts a little bit the good news is there's nothing rushing this decision and so you could you can take that ir that inherited ira without penalties and do it two years from now two months from now two days from now if you want and put it on this house you don't have to decide today and since you don't have to decide the day i'm going to recommend you try not to decide today okay and just give yourself some room to cry john yeah there's going to be this pressure to wrap a bow around all of this and anna that's not how this grief is going to play out for you okay you're going to want to come back you're going to want yeah you want to come back to the spreadsheets and to i need to do this i need to do this i need to do this and there's a difference between a need to and i have to and right now you don't have to deal with this and i'm with dave six to six months to a year if what you don't have to do don't touch it right now yeah and then you know at that point you may be there maybe something else opening up in front of you and you may go uh i want to reach over and try to get this house paid off that's my next big financial goal which is not a bad goal at all that and the kids college are your only two goals left that are substantial goals and i want you to hit both of them and you're gonna hit both of them you make really good money you're gonna be just fine there's nothing there's no question about your survivability here i mean in terms of financial you've got plenty of money you make good money you've got some money and you don't have any debt and so you're just you're in a really really good place in in regard to that there was no life insurance no no no life insurance is that right correct okay all right okay so i'm just making sure i wasn't missing something here but but i think still yeah let's just write it a little while and uh okay just you know put it in your calendar that in january you're gonna begin to think about it and pray about it again in the meantime you're just going to live and cry and and remember when you were pregnant with your little one how much nonsensical unhelpful but good intended advice you got from everybody at the grocery store and it didn't matter right somebody saw somebody pregnant and they had some advice for you um it's been similar hasn't it about you need to be doing this have you thought about this right there is not a right way to do this except your way through this okay and love that that baby of yours and um you are strong and brilliant and powerful y'all been fighting for two years this raging river will turn into a creek at some point and it's not going to be tomorrow and so there's not a right way to do it get some people around you and walk every day make those decisions later okay i'll just say your son once again 13 13. perfect yeah okay so what i want you guys to do i'm going to give you ramsey plus for a year oh thank you and i want it's uh where you can learn how to handle money you probably already know how but we'll you can go through financial peace university you can get on the every dollar and you can train him let him go through it with you this is going to be a new adventure that you all can do together and you can both learn how to handle money you can train him and you can you can get polished up if you already know how and um you know as christians we're supposed to take care of widows and i am yeah so we're going to take care of you today and you hang on kelly will pick up we'll put you into ramsey plus that gives you financial peace university legacy journey smart money smart kids it gives you all the classes uh it also gives you every dollar gives you community it gives you access to coaches and get questions answered but don't do that out of feeling of pressure to this is just kind of part of you getting some more tools in your belt while you're spending this year healing and as as we talked about with the last call um no pun intended but it's a little baby step in a new direction of a thing right and it's something you can do together and it's just uh hey let's watch a video tonight let's do some of the assignments let's let's begin to slowly take these crooked steps in a new direction towards a new adventure and suddenly you'll look up nine weeks two three months later and you've got a little bit taller you've got a new relationship adventure that you've just joined in with your son it's a whole new direction here yeah 13 year old can definitely graduate from this class oh yeah and he'll remember doing it with mom yeah during a really in the shadows in the year from hell that's right yeah but it set me up to be a man that's right and um mom helped guide me through that so that's cool yeah that's good stuff hey he's danny you call us anytime we can help we're here anytime you got a question babe we're here and uh we we got your back and we'll help you any way we can so hang on kelly i'll pick up we'll get you guys signed up for that the little boy's lucky to have you anna [Music] [Music] so [Music] [Music] foreign [Music] still on baby step number one how did you guess with health care costs rising learn how christian healthcare ministries can help you make the most out of your budget visit chministries.org budget don't worry it's worth it [Music] [Music] dr john dolone ramsey personality is my co-host today in the lobby of ramsey solutions on the debt free stage sarah and adam are with us hey guys how are you doing welcome welcome where do you guys live chattanooga oh just down the road not a bad run to nashville well good to have you up here to do a debt free scream how much have you paid off we paid off 70 000 in 17 months good for you and uh what was your range of income during that 17 months um we started at 120 and ended at 1 30. good for you guys what do y'all do for a living i'm an assistant project manager at a general contractor and she's an audit cpa at a firm oh very cool good good so what kind of debt was this 70 000 all student loans all mine all student loans all mine he owned it he owned it all the way she gave him a quick glance with their eyes when you asked that question a little bit of an elbow went across there but not much yeah that's good all right good very good how long have you guys been married uh two years last week actually okay so first order business we get married you marry the girl in the audit department she says we're getting out of debt i'm guessing pretty much yeah we had to uh cash flow a car for him and then we had to cash flow my last semester grad school but then we got on it okay so lean in and knock it out yes and you did it fast that's pretty impressive i mean y'all are dialed it in didn't you we did okay so tell me the story how'd all this happen i was guessing but i wasn't far off huh uh so basically she had gone on i think his pinterest and found a debt chain yeah and uh we tracked it thousand dollar increments and that was a good visual aspect of it and we just basically kept living since we just graduated college we kept living like we were in college and just every extra dime we put towards a debt very cool good good and how did you all connect to us um so i actually had a friend that got your total money makeover book for high school graduation and she didn't read it i don't think but she let me take it to the beach on vacation so i read it and i lived on a budget in college and paid cash for mine anyway so i was following the plan and then we were dating and then i figured out how much student loan debt he had so we knew we were going to tackle it when we got married so just kind of so how long had you been dating before you decided before you disclosed this adam then we broke up then we got back together uh it was only a couple months before she knew about it so okay all right and so what was it like when she told you we're doing this but we're doing it the analyst way i was kind of scared to you know ask her to help me almost i was i offered i was like we can wait till you know i haven't paid off but that would have been several years down the road she was like no we're gonna do it as a team and do it together i didn't want to wait that long y'all are fun this is great because a lot it's good to have these discussions with you because you're the other side of it and have won now but there's couples out there listening that are dating and like he doesn't want to tell her he's got 70 000 in debt because and she feels like they're drowning and he's like looking at another truck to trade up in and she doesn't know how to have this conversation so i'm how did you do it like put take all the audience back to that moment when you looked across whatever table and you said this is what we're going to do i got 70 000 in debt i don't know i just i it was all like it was we weren't going to get married like if he wasn't willing to do it that's what i'm doing we would have waited like if he wasn't on the same page that could have possibly been a deal breaker yeah financial peace university was actually one of the things that we did in pre-medical council oh you did okay that was really the big step and whenever we decided we were gonna lock down and really do it brother you married so well man wow this is so good you guys that's what a great way to do pre-marriage counseling too i'm sure you learned a lot both of you oh yeah and about working together and you know pushing the whole thing through almost as much as being on a beach vacation and looking over at a bar seeing your face on the cover of a borrowed book the reading she's like oh man don't you really you're supposed to be on vacation here yeah but i mean like yeah wow very cool you guys so now that you've done it congratulations you're incredible proud of you what was what advice do you have to somebody's facing that they're brand new married they got a pile of debt what's the key to getting out of debt what did you all do that you think made the big difference uh just keep that gazelle intensity um you know you might have to sacrifice knocking out to eat with your friends just cooking at home you know rice chicken and hot sauce you know cheap meals and i don't sound bad what are the beans in rice exactly yeah um i would say a lot of people have asked we did share when we became debt free on social media and a lot of people message me and they want there to be the secret and there's really no secret it's sacrificing and discipline and then obviously the budget and then being on the same page with your spouse if you're married it's just you have to be there yeah definitely the communication aspect of it you know once a week two or three times a month just talking about it laying out the land like how are you going to do it for the next few weeks taking those links off that chain yeah one at a time here we go that's so fun very cool so how would you rate your marriage compared to your buddies right now you have no debt you've worked together on a long-term project y'all both smiled so tell me about it i mean there's we have friends that have great marriages and then obviously they're friends that we can see it's a little rocky but we think we're up there with the strongest of them yeah i think this has really strengthened our communication not just about money but everything i feel like we really communicate really well yeah how old are you guys i'm 25. i'm 24. all right wow man making 130 and no debt in the freaking world they're going to be so rich oh my goodness it's going to be amazing i mean we're talking tens of millions here they don't even understand what the compound interest is going to do that's okay you can see it on his face though he's slowly figuring it out yeah he knew he met he married well when he met her and he's like she's gonna hey guys she's gonna actually go out with me and then when he told his buddies that she was gonna marry him and now he's realizing oh we're going to have lots of commas and zeros too man well played dude well done so uh who are your biggest cheerleaders uh family and friends uh my in-laws are here today all right yeah they're here and we have pretty much all of our friends were supportive we have some that like to make fun of us but well that's good mostly they're supportive if your broke friends are making fun of your financial plan you're right on track i've said that to you before that's it that's it that's a classic right there well that's cool mom and dad came up to support you that means they were supporting and cheering you on all the way through and they're proud of you we're proud of you congratulations thank you very very well done we've got a copy of the legacy journey which is the next step for you guys as you move into completely changing your future family tree and that'll make mom and dad real happy and uh and i'm gonna give you an extra copy of total money makeover since you borrowed one at the beach okay and i want you to pay it forward figure out somebody to uh loan it to on their beach vacation or give it to you okay and uh let's see if we can change another life or two so well done you guys very well done sarah and adam from chattanooga seventy thousand dollars paid off in 17 months been married 24. did it 120 130 000 worth of income count it down let's hear a debt free scream three two [Music] [Applause] i love it there's a handbook there for a bunch of singles that are thinking about who to marry there was a whole bunch in that call oh man they're going to have a whole new marriage now where they can go out to dinner together they can go to a movie chicken rice and hot sauce yeah i know they're going to get an entree now it's going to be incredible that may be a dessert and i don't know what was more amazing their journey or the fact that you're on pinterest i didn't know that well i i i probably have somebody that works here no i'm going with you i think dave ramsey's on pinterest yeah i i spent a lot of time every night actually i actually printed off personally those little chains um i was a little known secret of my other side there john you're so full of crap i love it you know i'm not i can't even spell pen yes you can you're on it you're on it sarah now it's a secret incredible just incredible yeah the dave the secret dave is out but hey i do i want to go back sarah said this meant something to me this wedding wasn't going to happen yeah if he wasn't going to be a person and he said i'll i'll pay it all off before we get married yeah they both they both were like they were addressing the issue people don't address the issues when it messes up their marriage and then they did it together they accelerated it boom touchdown what a cool couple they're heroes man you guys are heroes well done this is the ramsey show [Music] so [Music] so if you are feeling stuck or disengaged in your current job if you dread getting out of bed to go to work if you're searching for a new job for any reason our get hired live stream event live tomorrow night that's why they call it a live stream tuesday september 27th tomorrow night mr ken coleman will be teaching you and uh ramsey personality best-selling author number one best-selling author at this one-night event you'll learn how to get clear on what you do best how to get qualified for the job you want and then how to get connected and actually get the job it's time to take the next step toward doing the work you love no matter your situation there is hope tomorrow tuesday april 27th take control of your career start working toward what you were born to do the get hired event the hired event text hired to 33 789 it's only 20 dollars you can watch this stream it's going to be worth it this guy ken is an incredible communicator incredible teacher uh text the word hired 233789 kristen is in charleston south carolina hi kristin what's up hey dave how are you better than i deserve how can we help hey um so i just sold my house today i made um 21 000 profit from it and um this is the most money i've ever had my whole life and i want to put it directly into my savings account but i just wanted advice on how i can continue to be in a good financial position and not be tempted to spend any of it congratulations how old are you thank you i'm 25. how long have you owned this house since 2017. all right you did good i can hear her joy through the phone yeah it's exciting for you a nice twenty one thousand dollar check send me twenty one thousand i'll get joyful like all day long yeah that's good so uh where are you gonna live well right now um i'm renting an apartment with the roommate but i plan what the lease has done to buy my own house again once the what is done once the lease is over with with the apartment starting next year i plan on buying my own house again okay so you weren't living in this house oh yes i was living in the house how come you sold it um i i unfortunately i separated from my fiance um so the money was split in half and um balancing with a roommate um and until this lease is done um i would like to buy my own house that's perfect i love it okay and so um well here's what you do you you uh you can just keep it in a bank account that's all you need to do nothing fancy uh ask for your ask your local banker or your credit union to open you a money market account do not connect it to overdraft protection on your checking account do not connect it to your atm card do not have access to it unless you go to the branch and pull money out that will keep you from accidentally impulsing when you see a couch on sale on the weekend right and you build some protections and make it a little bit hard to get it get to it does that make sense yes sir that makes perfect sense yeah do you understand if it's connected to your checking account you're going to have a tendency to i want to buy something and i'll just keep writing checks right right and if you're atm the same way so just protect you from you which is what you're concerned about but the good news is you're already aware of that so you're very unlikely to make this mistake how long how long have you been separated um about two months okay so i would set up with your roommate is this a friend of yours yes yes it is okay come up with some number because this grief is going to wave over you like being out at the beach okay and it will wave over in different seasons and at weird moments you're going to be walking in from somewhere after having a great time and it's just you're gonna feel like someone just dropped one of those heavy blankets over you okay i want you to have some sort of agreement with your roommate that you will check in before you make a purchase over x dollars is that cool and that would be your accountability partner through this grieving process because i don't want you to use you you're going to have 21 000 singing account and like dave said it's going to be so tempting just to to go get that dopamine hit and feel better go to the bank and you're just going to have to get a new car or have to get a new designer oodle dog or some kind of something go on some vacate whatever it is have have an accountability partner that you got to check in with okay i'll give you the number anything over 300 you have to check in how's your relation how's your relationship with your mom and dad oh that's pretty decent okay you might also have that agreement with them then okay and that's not you not being an adult that's just somebody that loves you that's kin to you right that you can check in with that's not that you have to ask your mommy that's not my point but my point is the same thing john's doing is giving you accountability and so um one last thing i don't get to do this very often would you mind helping me with something yeah sure would you talk to the audience out there because i catch a lot of grief when i tell people not to buy a house with people they're not married to because crap like happened to you happens would you talk to people out there that are thinking about making the same mistake you did when you bought this house with this goob well um my advice would just be um make sure this is the person you know you want to spend the rest of your life with and make sure my advice is to get married that would be my advice yeah because you thought you were going to spend the rest of your life right i was 21 when i built this house and um i i wish i would have you know i i think it would have been a lot easier if i was married um and that would be my advice yeah don't do don't buy a house with people you're not married to that's what i tell people all the time and people sometimes that are your age make fun of me because i'm an old grandpa uh but that's but it's also i have met with over the 30 years of doing coaching i've met with thousands of people in your situation and not you know the good news is the house sold and you're able to make money you made money and you're able to split the money and you're able to get away from this problem and get out of what a lawyer would call a partnership yeah a general partnership with no partnership documentation and so it turned out okay in the end you made it out with your skin intact and made a little money but uh to go with the heartbreak you have to go with this disposition of assets as if there's a divorce and yet there is no legal track to run the thing on the last thing you want to do when you're grieving is math right yep that's the that's the last thing you want to do man yeah it's exactly right whether you don't have life insurance you don't have any number of things man yeah thank you kristen thank you kirsten kirsten i'm sorry for for sharing that but it's this is the reason it it doesn't always turn out like you think it's going to so get things in the right order don't buy a house until you're married with someone you are not married to um and so again she got blessed and got out of it without a problem and i'm happy she did i didn't i didn't want her to be punished or something like that but i am uh she said you know 21 years old yeah and um and like we talked about earlier in a previous segment you got it all figured out when you're 21 right and you're 41 and when you're 51 and when you're 61. i have and i i if i have on a much smaller scale i know you have man talking to folks in that same situation who are trying to split debt oh it's harsh it's it's a it's mayhem yeah you couldn't you couldn't have that conversation beforehand which led to this you know breakup trying to figure out who's going to take what debt and how you're going to split well you bought this on that credit card and you bought that and the house we have to write a check for it remember that time you use the mustard dude it gets contentious and messy yeah it's it's it's like a it's like breaking up with your roommate oh because you are yeah yeah it's just uh yeah it's a real problem and we're seeing it at a a pandemic level but yeah too soon man it's an epidemic anyway it may not be a pandemic but it's definitely an epidemic so well kirsten i'm glad you got out uh and you got some money i appreciate the smile on your face for the twenty one thousand that's awesome what a win and you needed a win i'm glad you got the win and uh we want you to have a a wonderful purchase of a home when that uh money's all still sitting there and you've added something to it still in the account and it's still in the account you've added some to it and uh your lease runs out and you're able to do that so most excellent very cool thank you for joining us kiddo that puts this hour of the ramsey show in the books our thanks to dr john deloney my co-host this hour james charles our producer kelly daniel our associate producer and phone screener i am dave ramsey your host we'll be back [Music] did you know you can listen to the ramsay show on your smart speaker just tell alexa google assistant or siri to play the ramsay show podcast check out all ramsay network shows on your smart speaker today [Music] this is the ramsay show [Music] you can be intentional about your character you can have money and a career you are the hero in your story live from the headquarters of ramsey solutions broadcasting from the dollar car rental studios it's the ramsey show where debt is dumb cash is king and the paid off home mortgage has taken the place of the bmw as the status symbol of choice i'm dave ramsey your host dr john deloney ramsey personality and best-selling author is my co-host today open phones at triple eight eight two five five two two five that's triple eight eight two five five two two you jump in and we'll talk david is with us in shreveport to start off this hour hi david how are you i'm fantastic how are you sir better than i deserve what's up i am a 1099 contractor and have been for close to five years and i've been trying to uh increase my opportunities in the same company and i applied for a position that's still a 1099 uh and then they sent me back a a disclosure a non-disclosure agreement as well as a statement in there that says that uh should anything ever go on i would not be able to speak in any way negative about the company or anyone in the company forever not just like in a nondisclosure or a non-compete clause or anything like that but forever and so i i kind of got some red flags on that one um and i'm trying to figure out if this is something that i should even try and consider to pursue or if this is something that just sounds way too out there or too much to be asking if somebody to not be able to talk freely about something that would happen years down the road [Music] that's a fascinating question yeah um well i i uh i don't know why you would want the freedom to bash somebody i was just thinking yeah i mean you know um if and especially you've been there five years and you haven't seen anything that needs bashing because you're signing up for another you're signing up for a longer trip right yes sir so you don't have any indication that this is a bunch of crazy people or something and so um you know if a legal matter ever came up those are excluded out of these things not a legal matter criminal right it's a legal matter would be it would not be excluded but a criminal if someone uh is involved in uh uh you know i don't know some kind of uh i'm trying to think i don't drug use or stealing money or something or extortion yeah you that's um you know criminal is separate from civil and nda cannot cover criminal john's right um so i i don't know if i'm just trying to put my feet in your moccasins and walking through it for a minute here's the thing i don't um i've got uh i i don't reserve the right i don't um have a tendency to trash people that i've worked with um i guess i have to i've trashed a few not not employers but um vendors that misbehaved i've done that um you know for instance i think marriott sucks as an example so um you know and uh so i you know what do you what are you there's something like i was planning that i just didn't know what to do with it i didn't yeah yeah it's not that you're planning it but i'm trying to think of what situation you would be in where you here's the thing in our i'll tell you what's running through my mind and i'm a little bit of the victim of this to say the least um and that is is that uh everybody in our culture today seems to think they're an activist and it's like your job to straighten everybody else's life out on social media and that's what they're trying to prevent and like you know your job is to uh publicly reprimand your employer um which if you do that here i'll fire your butt because if you're gonna pee in the cereal i mean right because it tastes bad i'm going to fire you okay i pay you money to feed your family and if you're going to run me down you know in on social media or your wife is i'm going to fire your little stupid activist butt and you deserve to be fired and so that's what's running through my mind honestly and i'm trying to think of um and you should be fired i mean you're disloyal you're a horrible employee you know and uh when you tear down the very place that's giving you money that's ridiculous and so you you're not the kind of guy's going to do that but this these are the kinds of things that are probably running through their mind they run through my mind too uh because i've i've had to do that um and i'll i'll look to future you david and tell you in the past when i have talked negatively about a former employer the only negativity that gets spread around is on me yeah yeah it looks it looks foolish and stupid yeah um and small and so man if if you really have a really ugly negative experience ten year and ten years from now someone asks you you can say yeah i used to work there i don't like to talk about it people will get the message right and you don't have to go into gory details and all that nonsense um it just makes you look small yeah that's true that's true i don't think i don't think you're losing anything unless your intention is to be some kind of an activist which i wouldn't support you in doing that so no you know not my intention i didn't i didn't hear that i didn't i didn't i mean your spirit's pretty clear in your voice i hear it clearly so yeah yeah i i don't see a problem with it i i um you know i'm trying to think of times that someone has presented an nda to me um i signed an nda when a good friend of mine brought me the idea for the total money makeover and he wanted before he disclosed the idea of that book to me he wanted to me and i said dude i don't i'm not going to steal it and i you know if that is good we're going to do it so that's fine i signed it i didn't think anything about it and obviously it's turned out i've sold eight nine million copies of that book so it turned out to be a good nda a good idea and i protected him on the idea he made a lot of money we made a lot of money everybody's been a lot got a lot of help so that's when i did sign one um and i've signed him when i've left you signed one when you came to work here but i was a a high level leader and yeah there's trade secrets blind closed doors there's attitudes blind yeah all kinds of just private stuff proprietary information yeah and that kind of stuff but i'm trying to think when i have oh i'll tell you when i've been unwilling to sign an nda is if somebody that just calls and asks for a meeting here and they have and i've never heard of them and i don't know them and they've got this idea that they want to bring us and i just go uh you know i don't really want to know about your idea because ideas are done a dozen people who can pull them off for zero and so uh there's not many and so i don't i don't really want to get into cause we've got people all over this building with ideas and we may have already had the idea that you're bringing in here so i don't want to convolute the waters with that so that's a time that i've not done it um because i there i get the people pouring ideas across our desks every day around here inside the building we don't have to do that and we don't we're not known for stealing ideas in the marketplace so um you know that's the other thing so i yeah i would sign it i would sign it unless you've got something in that company that you think there's something bad going on and they're just trying to trap you in a sense but you've been there five years you wouldn't be ready to continue the relationship if you thought that so that's an interesting question it gives me pausing makes me want to stop and think yeah yeah so and if you see something that you don't like that's when you've got to be the grown-up and say i'm out yeah or i'm going to stay tap out and you all have a choice i don't you know i had a company i was working for when i was in my 20s and they said this is the way it's going to be and i said oh no it's not and they said yes it is and i said no it's not going to work have a great work here anymore yeah have a great afternoon it's america it's not russia yeah you know and i don't have to be here anymore and so johnny paycheck moment you know this is the ramsey show [Music] what makes our show unique is that we genuinely care about our listeners we're intentional about choosing the best advertisers to recommend blinds.com is no exception they offer high quality window treatments at unbelievable prices and they make it simple to shop blinds shades and interior shutters with easy online ordering free shipping and a guaranteed perfect fit go to blinds.com and take advantage of this week's special savings [Music] dr john dolone ramsey personality is my co-host today if you're feeling tired or stuck with your money like you're never going to get out of debt or you'll never save enough for your future it doesn't have to be that way we can show you how to win with this you can make progress with your money and you can make it faster than you think but the only way to make it happen is with a budget and that's why you need a ramsey plus membership you'll get access to the premium version of every dollar the world's best budgeting app where you can plan out every dollar that you're going to spend and save before the month begins you can connect your budget to your bank so you never miss a transaction you can get custom budget reports and of course when you're a member of ramsey plus you can go through financial peace university get help from a coach and everything else if you want a free trial to ramsey plus you can start winning with money i promise all you got to do is text trial to 33 789 you get a free trial to all that stuff text trial two three three seven eight nine our question of the day comes from blinds.com find out for yourself why blinds.com is the number one online retailer of custom window coverings you get free samples free shipping and with the new promos they run every month you'll save even more use the promo code ramsey to get the best possible deal today's question comes from alexis in florida alexis writes my mother and grandmother were recently in a car accident in which my grandmother was killed grieving the loss of a loved one is hard enough but this is worse because my mom was driving mom's always been very anxious and now she blames herself for this what can i say or do for her at this time ugh i'm so sorry alexis wow um honestly you can tell her that you love her and you can show up there is no like we talked about in an earlier show there is no um things you can knit on a pillow there's no books you can hand someone that's going to make this okay grieving's hard and grieving's individual and everybody does it differently and this is just going to be hard you can show up and be with you can if you're not in the same community you can set up a you know a dinner train and you can call your mom every day but this is just going to be really hard really really hard yeah there's not a um there's just not a formula no everybody grieves differently well and it just it takes some time and um you know we talked about this like you said in another hour um when i was a young guy i was doing uh i first met god i was in a church and they were teaching us to do uh how to work in the altar and a pastoral care position as a lay person and um they always talked about the ministry of presence that's right don't say pithy things say nothing like in this case the one that comes to mind is don't say well that's why they call them accidents because it's an accident it was an accident and that is why they call them accidents and she's not at fault and saying that is not helpful at all but that's what comes to mind immediately that popped into my head when i saw this so um i was at a as with a small group of writers and poets once and a guy stood up and we were talking about grief and art and he stood up and told maybe that the most incredible heart-aching story i've ever heard in my life ever and uh it involves his son being hurt and something that was that it was an accident but he was he was at the helm and he told the story of he didn't remember much other than carrying his son and he handed him to a nurse and then they got onto a helicopter and then he said i remember this nurse walking me down a hall in this hospital turned out and took me to a chapel didn't even know where it was hour one hour two he said he said nothing this nurse somebody came in and whispered into his ear at hour four or five he found out later that he was being clocked out the nurse just sat there he said at some point the nurse got up we hugged he left and i walked back in when they said hey your son's out of surgery son made it and he said that man sat with me for four or five hours and said zero words and that was the first time i'd ever felt and seen jesus said nothing just sat with me in a chapel in a hospital and there's something about grief that demands to be witnessed you gotta just overcome that urge to give advice and to say well you know you should be feeling this and what if you just did this and just say mom i'm so sorry you're hurting and i love you and i'm here i'm so sorry and that you're hurting i mean i brought down mr grandma too yeah i miss grandma too yeah and um i love you and at some point you can say hey mom let's go for a ride i'm gonna drive and that's mom's um introduction back into a car right and back into the road and over time she'll be back on the road and it's just going to be hard and it doesn't matter if she was very anxious or not everybody's going to deal with this grief differently but this is going to be hard and it's going to be slow and it's going to be different and some some mothers will pop right back up and say what a wild thing i'm back in it most won't and your job is not to direct and and curate their grief don't fix it just be with them don't right and that's a hard thing to do in a society full of fixtures oh my gosh everyone's got advice and and and opinions and and a poem seven step steps to the new man when you're in the car and someone you love passes away everything is different from this point forward and over time that will emerge and grow in this ash but right now we're just going to sit in it wow allen is up next allen's in louisville kentucky hey alan how can we help well dave i've got an interesting situation we have been on your plan for a long time we've probably led up to i don't know 30 times wow so a problem i know one of the answers to this hey dave i don't even know the question and i can't wait all right go ahead alan i know the financial answer but i'm glad that and i called because dr d is on because this is a relationship thing as much as anything else we've been married for 38 years we i got the best wife in the world exactly we are no there's nothing except we're on baby step seven okay haven't had a home mortgage in the fifties so you're millionaires likely yep you're baby step millionaires all right last summer my 91 year old father passed away and i learned i learned from some good people which is one reason why we've been successful together and dad left us between my brother and i about another million and a half so up to this point most all of our assets have been in qualified plans and real estate so it's been illiquid to do i don't want to run out of time so you're going to ask your question i'm with you so i want to buy about a 20 000 toy it's not a financial issue but i'm struggling one in my heart to say it's okay to do that and two my wife and i can't seem to get on the page about it what's the uh what's your net worth right now about 2.3 what's her what's her objection and what's the toy i want to get well i've always always joked about getting a motorcycle but i'm your age so i'm too damn old to have one of those so i want to get a polaris slingshot that would you'd be a little safer you know so it's about unused 20 new maybe 35. what is her objection what is her objection to you spending this she thinks it's unsafe or unwise it out of her that's the problem i i you know it's it's not a financial issue in our world i don't think no it's not right john yeah yeah this has to do with either safety this has nothing to do with the purchase you guys can afford this six ways to sunday so um i if it's a money thing buy it i think you need to sit down and look at your wife across the table it sounds like you may be a dreamer you're a storyteller you love the the heart and soul of all the stuff sit down and say hey i really want to get this thing and i can hear your voice that you don't want me to have it or you've said no tell me what the true objection is what's really going on yeah it's probably about safety and no matter what she says go no but really yeah no but really what's the real objective are you worried about it no but really what's the real objection i can tell you what sharon said it has nothing with my age she said if i get a motorcycle she's gone and i've ridden on a polaris with you and it's almost not as safe right if well there you go [Music] dr john dolone ramsey personality is my co-host today open phones at triple eight eight two five five two two five jamie's in pittsburgh hey jamie how are you hi um i'm so excited to talk to you you too what's up um okay so here's my situation i'm 26 years old recently engaged i live with my with my parents for the past four years after graduating college to pay off student loan debt last year my mom left out of the blue and wants to divorce my dad so because i recently got engaged i'm trying to plan a wedding and it just doesn't feel right with my mom not being involved i haven't really spoken to her also my fiance and i want to move across the country we aren't really sure what to do because combined we're in a hundred and five thousand dollars worth of student loan and car debt well you've got a lot of chaos going on yeah i'm sorry there's a lot of highs and a lot of lows all in one explanation right and so uh what do you what do you do for a living what's your fiance do for a living what do you all make what's your incomes yes um i'm in the architecture industry i make fifty two thousand dollars um my fiance is in insurance sales um his his base pay is 38 000. so when are you getting married commission will be uh we haven't set a date because i'm like hesitant with with debt and with family and um when where would you move and when would you think about moving um we we'd like to move either to texas possibly austin or dallas or north carolina and probably charlotte and new york jobs lined up uh we don't yet um i feel like so who's paying for the wedding my dad said that he would contribute ten thousand dollars to the wedding and my fiance and i could um we both would like to contribute five thousand dollars so you have a fifteen thousand or five thousand each five thousand each there's so twenty thousand dollar wedding okay and and why haven't you reached out to your mom um well she she left my dad um and i found out through somebody else um i so why haven't you reached out to your mom um you're an adult architect who's about to get married why haven't you reached out and asked your mom what in the world she's doing and why she did it um i'm scared okay that's an honest truthful answer and i honor that you got a lot a lot of chaos in your life and it sounds like what you need to do is sit down and write this stuff down on a piece of paper so you can look at it it all feels super overwhelming and it's going to get more and more paralyzing and that's when people get into situations that are way way over their heads okay i'll give you an order and then you've got to figure out how to navigate it it just sounds to me like and this is not as much financial coaching as it is i've been through three adult kids getting married there were no divorces in the middle of them um but the uh uh i i would get married move and then work on the student loan debt in that order okay and i would get married soon we we want to get married and you're not getting married you're putting off getting married for the wrong reasons other people are controlling your destiny and that's ridiculous yeah you need to set the table and put out the dinner invitations and whoever comes comes to the table okay and the table is mom i'm planning a wedding june 15th uh july 15th august 1st and um i've got a 20 000 budget i'm putting it together i'd like to know what the flip is going on inside your brain number one number two i'd like to know if you want to be involved in planning this wedding if you want her involved yeah and then you don't wait on her to figure out her life for you to get married because she's going to come back with different dates and that doesn't work for me and what if we did it in nope nope this is when it's happening and if you want to be involved these are the terms of you being involved you may not want her involved i don't know you may have written her off because of something she's done and you're not telling us what the whole story and you know more of it than you're letting on i think that's what's going on but and if that's what you want and dad comes out and says well then i'm not coming then dad's made his decision too this is where grown-ups are being grown-ups now so don't wait on your mom and dad to get their crap together for you to get married that might be never because it's gonna be a while okay and they're obviously pretty screwed up i think you should go see if you haven't already go sign up for premarital counseling monday yeah because you all have a lot of time good good good take that seriously do all those exercises set a wedding date this summer get married make a move and work on your student loans with your new jobs make the move only when you have new jobs don't move and hope it all works out oh we're going to texas and god will take care of us no god says get a job before you go okay so we should just save up um really as much as we can once we set the date um because we we're started saving but then we're like oh what should we put this towards you alone should we no just put you just put your student loans on as much hold as you can put them on and get through the move and get through the wedding the wedding and then the move and get landed in two good jobs settle down there you can check in on your parents and hope they're doing well hope they're starting to heal hope they're putting their lives back together meanwhile you're going to tear in tear into these student loans like a vengeance but you can't really do six things at once that's what's driving you nuts isn't it yeah you can't fix your mom you can't fix your mom you get married pay off your student loans and move and because your mom did something stupid now you're questioning the whole enterprise and are you safe are you smart who's this lady you don't trust yourself you don't trust your family it all just feels too much right yeah i have paid off fifty three thousand dollars of student loan debt so far since i've graduated so that all happened before all hell broke loose yes yes yeah so you made good progress i'm proud of you i'm not saying that but right now you've got a bunch of things on your table and listen you can eat an elephant if you just do it a bite at a time so all i did is give you an order if you want to change the order change the order i don't care but the problem is when there's no order there's no one before two before three and i'm just saying wedding before move before student loans you that's my opinion it's worth what you paid for it kiddo and anytime you are faced this is for any listener anybody you're faced with this those seasons of chaos and we all have them write it down get somebody in your life that will read it back to you say are you really going to do it like this and you go oh no no no it's just getting ordered to that chaos and then like the baby steps come up with your plan and start walking it well you can flesh it out you know in her situation okay we could do it in a different order we're going to move and then we're going to get married yeah that doesn't work so good nope uh oh wait we're going to pay off all the student loans well there's 105 000. yep it'll be a little while before we get married before we move then we're going to be in daddy's basement a while right this is going to continue so i mean when you play all these things out there's only really one order that's going to be the the most efficient and logical a common thing is she wants to make sure mom and dad are okay before she goes and pulls her trigger and you can't do that oh yeah mom and dad are going to be a mess that's probably been brewing for a long there's so much back to that right you've got to charge your course at this point and i love your wisdom tell mom what here's the plan tell dad here's the plan yeah and we're moving forward we're serving dinner at six if you want to eat be there i'd love to have you there yeah and if you only save up fifteen thousand for the wedding nobody's gonna die right yeah oh by the way ten ten's gonna you're gonna have a great wedding and the pictures are gonna look great 20 years from now and that's what you'll remember that's i've lots of weddings around here these young people on our team getting married lots of ten thousand dollar wedding oh yeah lots of them the marriage works just as good yeah there's no correlation between the cost of the wedding and the success of the marriage and matter of fact at some point there may be an inverse yeah ah this is the ramsey show [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Music] so [Music] our scripture of the day psalm 16 5 and 6 lord you alone are my portion and my cup you make my lot secure the boundary lines have fallen for me in pleasant places surely i have a delightful inheritance charles kettering said every father should remember that one day his son will follow his example not his advice nice job kettering they will watch everything you do and do it perfectly yep they won't listen to you but they will watch you you don't believe me try opening your mouth and one of your parents comes out oh trust me it's happening dude i got an 11 year old and a five-year-old dave i i hear it and you just have to look over your shoulders my old man is he my dad here what is happening how did that just come out where'd that come from and then i watched my son make the same face i made i could feel it like ah man it's like living in the matrix it's so bizarre rachel says more is caught than taught that's so true you want your children to be good with money let me teach you how to do that you be good with money uh it's so much easier just to tell them stuff dave and do it in front of them yeah yeah don't hide it don't hide all of your money secrets because they're not really secrets after all hey while we're on that topic let me ask you this what's what is a rule of thumb you've experienced over the years telling kids your salary because i really like having especially my 11 year old down there watching us do the budget and watching because i want him to have an understanding here's how much electricity costs and water costs and those kind of things but also just having innate fear of him running around school saying hey what does your parents make my parents you know what i mean yeah i uh you know i shared all the expenses but i never shared the income okay until they were 18 okay or until they were in college or whatever they knew we were doing okay you know kind of thing but they um uh i didn't but we were also trying to protect our kids from the celebrity crap as well right you know they the um because we were trying to make sure they don't play the dave card at school to try to get some kind of favor right now or something my dad's dave ramsey you know that kind of bull crap and so you just got to step on that with a big foot and so um truthfully none of them ever did it much except rachel yeah i think my son lies about his last name and no it's de la nay i'm not that guy right well yeah and there's some of that i mean because there's two sides to that part that's right i mean there's a lot of french guys interested try try being in a financial uh a personal finance class in college and your dad's name is dave ramsey yeah that would be a pain in the butt so that that really happened um didn't go well and so uh uh but yeah seriously i can see rachel she won't back down either no and yeah daniel would nod politely rachel would say excuse me yeah daniel waited till the end of the semester and then told the guy's last name right right he didn't even get it the guy didn't even understand how stupid he was but um the uh uh but the yeah i uh no we didn't share incomes and uh but it's protecting the 11 year old from himself i think but well and they you know because they just um you know they uh even if something is the truth you don't want them bragging that's why you don't want them uh embarrassing themselves or the family or whatever else i mean it's just you don't want them being that kid you know like a rub you know my dad makes sense yeah my mama makes sense though yeah you know you know that's a gross kid but i like that idea of of sharing the expenses making sure they see this yeah they did i mean i remember distinctly rachel and uh maybe denise sitting at the kitchen table and we're going over the electric bill and denise goes oh my gosh it costs so much to buy electricity and like rachel looked at her and goes i guess that's why they're telling us close the door all the time turn the lights off right it's like but there was just no pun intended light bulb moment that came on right and um you know it's just but that that's really good i love those conversations and you know get the mutual fund statement out and go here's the share price and here's the number of shares in your college fund right and so how do you figure out what your how much money is in your college fund you multiply those times each other i love that and it's a little little sixth grade math lesson fourth grade math lesson there whatever it is to get to that point and work that through but it's value building and uh and then you have to you know you have to constantly correct uh for them we just we squashed out any type of entitlement oh yes stuff like rachel and i told the story in the uh smart money smart kids series in the book and in the teaching series she does in ramsey plus um daniel was a little guy you know about seven eight years old we finally got a decent car after going broke and you know and you know we had an old we're old southern people so you get a new car everybody piles in you go for a little ride right that's a like a celebration of the buying the new car you know what i'm talking about yes and so daniel gets he leans back in the back seat all the way back and he goes we're doing pretty good yeah and i said honey we ain't doing anything you got nothing you got nothing i'm doing pretty good you you're just along for the ride buddy and so he's like the kids told that story for years because like daniel's like okay okay i just thought it was like when i got this latest truck this this fine 06 model hank got in it he looked at it he looked at me based on the old truck i was driving yeah it's a pretty sizeable upgrade he said dad are we rich yes we are so yes we are we have a good used pickup that's right we are rich this truck cost five digits not just uh yeah not not everybody has a five digit pickup this truck had a tin in front of the comma whoa dad that's right son stay close to your old man he'll get you places oh my gosh well the the thing is yeah you do want to share and on the other side the other thing we run into with kids how much to discuss is when things aren't going well right you don't want to scare them right you can terrify kids yeah you can terrify them we're gonna get four clothes down and thrown in not it where available can digest it and obviously you can disclose more to a 14 year old than you can a four-year-old at least hypothetically and um i've learned in those conversations that touch is a huge settling thing for a kid if i'm having a hard conversation with with a young kid i'm going to sit them on my lap i'm going to make sure i'm touching their face touching their hands and it's a grounding force for a kid they can hear it and they can see me right as opposed to just throwing off a piece of information that i got more context to and that kid's going to take that and just run with it right and they're like neural pathways it's just i need them to be grounded and know that um i got you i got you we're here this is a hard season this is really tough times and dad's working to plan him with mom and we're going to figure this out because they they can um that they can sense it they can feel the stress in the air and if you don't call it out they will assume that stress is created by them and they will spend the rest of their life trying to solve it yeah right and they get you got to let them know there is stress in the air it is not you in fact you're the best part of this and we're going to make it we're having grown-up challenges and luckily you got grown up assault on them that's gonna make it that's right we're gonna make it that car that car is not gonna be in the driveway anymore we're gonna make it yeah we sold the boat oh boy you know we're gonna make it yeah and um but you're gonna be okay we're gonna have food and we got each other and we're gonna go kick a soccer ball out right now yeah yeah and we'll work it out but that's um you gotta be real careful because well children deserve to know not really you can weaponize truth in a way that makes you feel tough and makes you feel back in control don't do that to a kid yeah right call your buddy and tell him you're scared to death that's why you got to have people in your life right yeah and you know and and but it is good to also the other side of it is to acknowledge it you need to acknowledge it keeping it keeping completely stuffed they know something's up and they they think it's worse than it is and there's some conventional parenting wisdom years ago was don't have disagreements in front of your kids you don't want to scare them and inadvertently i never saw my parents generation of kids that don't know that you can fight and still love somebody right yeah yeah kids grow up uh parents never talked about sex parents never talked about money figured they hadn't either found out later they had both i know and i didn't want to know any of it don't want to know this i don't want to know this uh dr john deloney good show today thank you rob james childs and kelly daniel in the booth i am dave ramsey your host will be back with you before you know it in the meantime remember there is ultimately only one way to financial peace and that's to walk daily with the prince of peace christ jesus [Music] have a friend or family member that needs a daily dose of ramsey advice in their life let them know about the ramsey call of the day podcast it's a quick hit of advice about life and money in under 10 minutes check out the ramsey call of the day podcast wherever you listen to podcasts [Music] you

Channel: The Ramsey Show - Full Episodes

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Id: SCgNi3b8LvI

Length: 122min 50sec (7370 seconds)

Published: Mon Apr 26 2021