You Are The Secret Sauce To Your Success!

this is the ramsay show you can be intentional about your character you can have money and a career you are the hero in your story [Music] live from the headquarters of ramsey solutions broadcasting from the dollar car rental studios it's the ramsey show where debt is dumb cash is king and the paid off home mortgage has taken the place of the bmw as the status symbol of choice dr john dolone ramsey personality and host of the vastly popular dr john dolone podcast is my co-host today we'll be taking your calls and your questions about your life because he's here and he can help you with your life and i've always got an opinion about it because i'm an expert on my opinion and we'll talk about your money too if you want the phone number's free and some say the advice is worth what you pay for it the phone number triple eight eight two five five two two five joe's gonna start off this hour in boston hey joe what's up hey dude how are you better than i deserve how can i help so i'm uh 22 years old and graduating college in a couple weeks um i'll be getting married in the fall my fiance will also be graduating uh we're we're really excited for that both of us congratulations it's awesome man thank you thank you so excited um we're both debt-free i'm going to be making about 45 000 after graduation and she's probably going to be in a similar ballpark maybe a little less but nothing much um we currently have about 20 25 000 in savings which a good chunk actually comes from the unemployment assistance and we're just you know a little concerned about that you know with some of the new legislation going forward is you know if we might have to pay it back so we're we're trying to figure out the the best way to just make smart decisions with you know an apartment or um probably not buying a house but you know a living situation and just uh how to be you know financially responsible to live well going forward way to go what's your degree in what's her degree in mine's in theology hers is in psychology and elementary education okay so are you going to become a pastor or what are you going to do i'm going to be a youth minister at a catholic church nearby in the area wonderful good for you okay cool thank you very fun all right well uh you know it sounds like you got a lot on your plate uh it's gonna be an exciting 12 months agreed yeah yeah absolutely we're very excited so why boston man i just grew up here um you know big big red sox fan big awesome sports fan and you know we're both from the area and love it you know playing playing to stay uh around around here okay well buying a home is a good thing as a part of the scope of your life uh it's a complicated thing it's a big decision uh there's a lot of moving parts to it uh obviously it requires money it's one of the largest purchases you'll ever make in most cases and uh so i recommend something that's highly uncomfortable because everybody's running around going get a house get a house get a house get a house because all renters go to hell get a house get a house get a house get a house right you know it's like like renting is evil or something you know what i'm saying and it i don't want you to be a renter when you're 32 you're 22. okay but but i don't want you to add a house purchase to the busiest year of your life ever you're graduating getting new jobs getting married i mean my god the last thing you want to do is hang curtain rods yeah okay i mean really it causes divorces but um yeah so i i we always joke and say you'll make a the serious thing is you'll make a better decision one year after marriage about which house to purchase because you'll know each other better you've got all of this busyness and craziness in your rearview mirror and it'll be a calm steady wise decision you're out of debt you have your emergency fund you have a good down payment that's a good decision i got to get a house because i'm getting married is about the way you make a stupid mistake and by the way it takes about a year of being married to know how close to your mother-in-law to buy i was going to say two or three years but but one's a minimum and maybe yeah i'd get the smallest the smallest place y'all can afford to live in like you're not trying to prove anything to anybody you're getting each other that was a mistake i made coming out of colleges i rented this big freaking nice place that was like three times more expensive than i should just because i could afford it and it was all rented money it says wasted money right and i stayed there six months and then we moved in the stinky butt little apartment started saving money and we had bugs in our first apartment man it was awesome i'm not saying it was great i'm just saying we should sign up for buzz we survived we lived well yeah but we're not yeah and we learned to have some conversations that we wouldn't have had yeah it's okay to go small and clean no bucks yeah yeah no rats you don't need any pets in there just you too just spend the year spend the year enjoying your first year of marriage and your first year of starting off at adult life with all these jobs and graduations and all this stuff and you know and you will make a much better decision a year later and you be out of debt have your emergency fund and have your down payment and but everybody's going to put pressure on you because everybody's a freaking genius you're 22 you're going to die if you don't buy a house horse crap you're not gonna die i've never considered um hitting you up dave to create a dave ramsey t-shirt but a t-shirt that said all runners go to hell would sell really well that's a fantastic but didn't it the way people talk about it oh they talk about it as if it's a salvation issue the number of people when we just got an apartment i didn't i didn't know what we were doing with our livestreams they sound like a beagle chasing a rabbit oh you're just gonna if you want you could all just go flush your money for you i mean i it was over and over and over yeah and they're all they're all broke but they all got expert advice on me buying a house yes that's right you know it's just they're just it and they do they they drive peop you people you broke people don't need to be giving financial advice it makes you look dumb and god help you somebody will follow it and just set a young couple up to be stable and you said it best the last thing a young couple needs taking two new jobs in a new town in a new marriage is to also be worrying about can we make this rent payment under this this mortgage payment this month or what's our house worth or the plumbing broke or that whatever happens with new houses which it always happens you know in in ancient times the second kings in the bible even when a young couple got married it's very clear that the brand new husband did not go out to war in the first year he stayed home to make a home with his wife they didn't put brand new married soldiers on the front lines in ancient israel you need to get because he knows if he goes out there and you know he's not going to make good decisions he's not going to make good decisions yeah and it's very interesting there's something about that first year of marriage i mean you probably know some research on the statistics of you know what you invest in each other in the first year of marriage sets a pattern for the rest of your life that's the key is these patterns that you adopt really quick and it can take years to unwind and they happen overnight right yeah you're both bringing you're both bringing your old patterns into this one pattern and you set it real fast it takes a while to undo those things you say or those things you do or those annoying man you've got to really unlearn all that spend your time getting to know each other here's the other thing when you say when you do give somebody a good advice they remember it i remember sharing i've been married almost 40 years we got married and we moved into this too expensive a house and it was three it was four bedrooms there was two of us two dogs it was ridiculous but it was nice yeah you know we thought we were we thought we were you know pretty cool and i went back i stopped by and saw my old uh elementary school principal evelyn hyde and she's like where are you living i told her and i was like all proud and she's like that's dumb [Laughter] she's a she was the best that's the best the world needs more evelyn's yes they do to look at genius 22 year olds and say that's dumb that was dumb this is the ramsay show [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] what makes our show unique is that we genuinely care about our listeners we're intentional about choosing the best advertisers to recommend blinds.com is no exception they offer high quality window treatments at unbelievable prices and they make it simple to shop blinds shades and interior shutters with easy online ordering free shipping and a guaranteed perfect fit go to blinds.com and take advantage of this week's special savings [Music] dr john dolone ramsey personality is my co-host today austin is with us in fort myers florida hey austin how are you pretty great how about you better than i deserve sir how can we help so i'm i've been i recently just got married about a year ago congratulations me and my wife are trying to purchase a house um so i'm just trying to get some good advice um as well okay what's your question she also has she also has some student loan debt and we're trying to figure out if this is a good time to buy a home or student loan pay off the student loan okay so you have the money to pay off a student loan um i have i have money saved before i got married to her and she and it's i mean i know when we got married it's all it's all equally as one but it's great that i had saved before we got married correct but now it's hers okay it's not it's not i have money it's we have money now you're now we when you get married you're french we sounds good okay so here's the thing unto the the old the old-fashioned marriage vows in the book of common prayer say in sickness and health for richer for poorer unto thee all my worldly goods i pledge you don't hear that in wedding vows much anymore uh it's kind of anti-prenuptial uh it's quite the opposite it's uh if we're gonna share life we are going to share the money and the problems and the good things because you're gonna end up sharing them all anyway you might as well just admit it so uh this is a good time to admit it and it's a good exercise for her to accept that her student loans are paid off that she got before marriage with money that you got before marriage and that's a very real sign in your relationship spiritually and financially that you have combined your households and then you start then you build your emergency fund and then you save up for a good down payment yeah don't go into a house without an emergency fund man because 100 chance something's going to break when you buy it and you don't want to walk into that house with student loan debt and suddenly you're swimming upstream trying to fix stuff and make that mortgage payment let that house be a blessing man and there's something that snaps in the psyche dr john that you know when you force yourself to do an action that reveals that there's a new reality yes i i it's this uh it's a winnowing right it's this it's it's a test moment to where you can talk about all day long i know this is going to be ours i can be ours you can hear that here i know this is ours but but i saved it right yeah okay well cool pay it off right yeah and it's it's like it's this shaky hand signing off when i really do it now is when it's a real thing yeah and i do i don't want to hate anybody i get no no he's in heart he wasn't doing anything that's a normal process whether you've been married a year whether you've been married 10 years but there's people married 10 years still talking like that oh most 30 years 40 years with separate checking accounts you take care of these bills i'll take care of these bills like roommates that's exactly what they are they're roommates they've never fully come together on this deal but when you anything where you're changing your life you're changing a behavior pattern and then you have to actually do the action yes not just discuss the theory of the action there's something that snaps in the old psyche you have to step into it it calls your bluff and it begins to change you physically and neurologically changes you from the inside out and all of that austin in your situation is means that your marriage is already awesome and it's about to get a little better yes that's what we're saying and it's gonna be real uncomfortable for a minute right before it gets better there you go yeah as you write that check you make sure your hand may shake a little bit and then six months later you're going to be going yeah but this is the woman it's debt-free this is the woman i love that's beautiful daniel's in new york city hey daniel how are you daniel hello hi daniel hey dave and john what's going on how are you better than we deserve sir how can we help uh thank god um so i've been a listener for a couple years already you know i listen daily really keeps you motivated and moving in the right direction thank you but um but yeah of course so i set myself up i think i'm in a good spot i have some money saved up in the past couple years of working and i wanted to know how what i can do to really be setting myself up for success okay are you working you're in college how old are you what's your story i'm in college i have about a year left okay what are you studying business management good for you okay what's it gonna cost to finish um no i have a college fund that's taking care of that and i have some scholarships as well so great what's it gonna cost to finish not sure exactly probably another two semesters so you don't know what a semester costs maybe like another 25 to 50 000 because 25 each semester where the crap are you going to school yeah on mars what are you in don't try again uh it's a private university yeah i guess that where are you going to school in the city is it a secret it's a secret is it a secret school what's the name of your school what say it again it's not such a large school so i'd rather not stay okay all right it's a very small very expensive school in new york city it's a spy school days yes okay well it's a secret school secretary all right so the um all right so uh you think you have enough money in the college fund and in scholarships to finish how much money do you have saved that you're worried about investing uh like 250. 250 000 yeah spy school is paying pretty good this is pretty neat i'm way in the wrong job i should have been what in the world are you doing where did you get 250 dollars i mean i've been working since like all throughout high school since i'm like 14. i worked really hard in high school and i had like 250 exactly 11. where did you what did you do i just i never is it a secret what you did you were a spy in high school weren't you and now you're in spy school and now you're rich dude i was so impressed we're picking on you these numbers are bizarre way to go well here's the thing the standard answer here is this and i'll stick with the standard answer although these numbers are not standard um congratulations you're obviously a young stud awesome kidding aside awesome you're you got scholarships you've made a lot of money already i never saw 250 i could lord that's amazing good for you i'm so proud for you so your first goal is graduate you are the secret sauce to success graduate with no debt you think you've got that figured out you probably do have that figured out you probably have enough money in your account with your scholarships and your college fund to do that i really don't care if you invest in 50 000 for the next one year that is not going to change your life going finishing this school with zero debt and launching yourself with zero debt into the marketplace is going to change your life and understanding that you are the secret sauce here not the interest on 250 000 for one year dave would you recommend a 23 year old with that kind of money to launching and buy a house or would you even recommend this high school to chill yeah get out of school that's because when you graduate from school you have a high rate of uh transition correct you it's you don't you often change cities you obviously start a new job a real job and the chances of changing he probably ought to keep doing what he's doing but um the uh uh and it's not unusual get married right in that in within 18 months of that right so statistically not everybody you don't have to it's not like a rule you're not doing something wrong if you don't there's some research that says men especially do everything all at once right that one year following school and that takes some money and you probably are gonna end up in the same city you're in a high statistical average you're gonna end up in her city [Laughter] or is there any data on you take a job right out of college what's the chances you're still in that job five years later yeah very low okay that's what i would think these days in the old days it was but these days the average person has 17 jobs in their working lifetime okay so you got the turnover but dude you're you've done so well daniel you're gonna be all right i think you're gonna struggle through with your quarter million dollars yeah you're gonna figure it out and if y'all need any extra spies daniel you know a guy you you always wanted to be a spot i always wanted to be a spy when it pays like that i'm telling you bond in high school man i had no idea james bond was so loaded he drank well but man i didn't know it was a good high school he's had a good car but he thought it was a government car i made it i thought i was killing it making 20 bucks a lawn in high school daniel just embarrassed me man well he said 250 i didn't know what he meant that's a way to go daniel for you daniel we're we're we're having some fun buddy but my god cause i'm jealous yeah exactly and we're just freaked out but yeah you did really good man so graduate graduate graduate graduate graduate debt free then become an investor then start your life don't get in too big a hurry you're not missing out on compound interest by being out of the market for one year making sure you graduate graduate graduate graduate debt-free you are the secret sauce you are the best investment you can make this is the ramsey show [Music] [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] dr john dolone ramsey personalities my co-host today in the lobby of ramsay solutions on the debt-free stage baby mike and laci are here hey guys how are you good how are you good how are you doing good how do we where do you all live uh we live in northern new york all right very cool welcome all the way to nashville to do a debt-free scream we can see uh canada from our backyard ah literally that's how fun we are well at least it's not russia all right so just gotta say you're not a palin are you but go ahead so uh how much debt have you paid off a hundred and four thousand all right how long did this take one day more than two years we had to wait for payday i'll take it i'm gonna round that down to two years yeah and your uh range of income during that time uh we started out at 90 000 and we went up to 172 000 and then we went down to 173 because of the pandemic oh yeah good gracious you doubled your income so what kind of day uh what kind of debt was this uh we had five of the zero percent promotions because we thought we were really smart you showed them right yeah we had my car we had a camper and then we each had student loans oh y'all were like normal yeah we were paying on a deck for a house that we didn't even live in anymore oh that hurt yeah i was like it has to go i don't think it really helped this out and then they get real mad if you go sit on it after you don't live there anymore yeah they don't work or if you park your camper that you're paying on in the driveway right yeah in the winter time yeah oh my god that hurts looking out at it with snow on top yeah what do you guys do for a living uh i'm a certified professional boudoir photographer okay and i'm a director of case management i'm a nurse oh very cool good for you guys so how did you double your incomes uh i cranked up the work i just took on more work and invested in my education and just kind of took off wow what about you um well i've kind of scaled the entire time in my career so you got the opportunity to take on overtime like crazy right yeah oh yeah especially especially in 2020 yeah actually during the pandemic my business was shut down and has he had to take a 20 pay cut because the hospital wasn't you know having all the elective surgeries and whatnot so yeah plus i'm salary so there's no such thing as overtime for sale oh i'm sorry oh my gosh okay wow all right so what started this journey two years ago i got you guys so fired up uh well i actually had heard about you from um an educator that i followed and i saw your your book in the thrift store and i was like why not you know i've spent it's a dollar yeah it's a dollar it was two but that's okay the cover was flashy it caught our eye wow good looking guy on the ground people think dave ramsey they think flashy yeah that's what that's what comes to mind exactly so i think um we've we've kind of had this concept in our head the entire time that we've been together but we we call it we did like dave ramsey light yeah we didn't really know where we were going or what we were doing but we knew that um not being in debt was kind of where we needed to be so although we've over time we've had cards and things like that we never carried a balance we knew at different times that when we had debt we had to pay it down so we've tried over the years we just never had a clear path how long you all been married so uh 17 years what so what actually in your brain what do you think was there an event or a certain thing that happened that caused you to just flip the switch and go i'm all in let's do this um yeah no it just was like we i picked the book up and i was like okay this sounds like a good idea you know like he had said we uh you know we had the idea in our head and we just didn't know where we were going so once i read the book i was like oh yeah this is we just made a couple little tweaks and like that's what we needed she read it then i read it and we were sold and we were like let's do this so just the total money makeover and game on yeah wow and then i listened to your podcast every day we were believers anyways prior to that we just needed that path we needed those stories we needed that guidance to be able to be on the right you know right trajectory so there was no big drum roll moment where one of you presented this to the other it was just hey i'm i'm in you're in let's let's get out we'll start first yeah she really absorbed it she's you know she's the reader she's the the studier and she kind of you know planned this out and then kind of brought me on board um and and that's where we bought into the you know the whole concept that you know this is a plan we need to be on love i'm definitely the nerd so i found a calculator online and i was like we could pay off our debt really quick let's do this yeah and so it was really easy to get them on board wow congratulations i'm so proud of y'all you're impressive thank you very very well done very well done thank you now that you're professionals you paid off a hundred and four thousand in two years uh what's the secret to getting out of debt america wants to know uh i think it was really automating um so every time we got paid i just automatically put the money right into a debt account and you know we just clicked the button we actually didn't do the budget for a long time until this last april when i was like i'm bored let's do something uh and so then once we started doing that i was like wow we have a lot more money now wow it's amazing you don't realize what's there until you start like what you say crunching the numbers and you realize it's almost like money begets money yeah it's there but but when you start managing your money and you start accounting for every penny it seems like there just is more it feels like more it feels like you got a raise absolutely and it's amazing feeling really for that to happen like that so congratulations you guys who are your biggest cheerleaders um probably my parents and um you know i have a couple a couple friends that were you know kind of cheering me on we'd make you know every time i would make a big sale or something we get like a cash fan and we like yes we are you know that much closer to paying off our student loans or whatever we were on so it was it was uh we did have a lot of people around us that were really supportive and she's an entrepreneur she you know didn't really start off by herself you know knowing what she wanted to do but i was kind of the cheerleader behind her to say you can do this so i was living vicariously through her in terms of her her entrepreneurial spirit and it was really nice to watch that and you know encouraging her along the way um you know and that's why obviously our income increased a lot i think we wouldn't be where we are right now if it wasn't for the work that she did in her business wow the blood sweat and tears you know building it from the ground up um you know reading the business books late at night and just trying to figure out how to make things work and she's how far are you in now five or six years yes i've been a photographer for 13 years but i've been doing um my business for six now congratulations you guys the new things in the world make me happier than listening to a husband describe how proud he is of his wife yeah that's beautiful man that's awesome thank you well done very very proud of her so how did this help your marriage uh yeah we definitely had to you know be on the same page and i i think we were just competing to see who could make more money because you know i would do well and then he'd get a raise and it was it was great i think it was very exciting actually i think it helped our marriage in terms of that because you know for us to do this journey and then of course we've been trying to inspire people along the way and describing what this is all about we've handed out books you know we're we're always thinking one step ahead you know how to how to be forward thinking you know getting on to those next steps um and so that's that's how we got us very cool and you brought the kiddos to do the debt-free scream what are their names and ages uh we have andrew he's eight and we have evelyn she is six all right very cool well we've got a copy of the legacy journey which is my last book i did uh on what happens now what are you going to leave a legacy now change the family tree so give you a copy of that and take care of you so thank you guys for making the trip all the way from new york we're so proud of you you're incredible people very very well done all right mike and lacey andrew and evelyn from new york 104 000 paid off in two years making 90 to 172 to 163. count it down let's hear a debt free scream three three two one we're dead free i love it i love it i love it i love it that's the first that's the first macklemore thrift store uh debt free scream i've heard of man that's incredible what what a fortuitous walk through a thrift store man two dollar book yeah that's a good roi on that purchase yeah that old total money makeover for two dollars slightly used slightly it was shiny because somebody spilled something on it so uh hey but then they turned into proselytizers and they've been buying books and handing them out man i tried i made out on that so i think what we should do is start just putting some coffee a few books in the thrift store i like it because it leads to more book sales this is a new marketing plan yes james is going to be right on that yeah get on that james make that happen send kelly out to the thrift stores right now that's perfect well done you guys very very proud of you you guys are incredible well that's how you do it you work together that you know and they kept saying over and over they really didn't do anything different except start paying attention and make every dollar behave and then every time they dialed in that much more and made every dollar behave they got that much more mileage out of it and it accelerated the process this is the ramsey show [Music] [Music] so [Music] dr john delaney ramsey personality is my co-host today open phones at triple eight eight 825-5225 mark is with us in boston hey mark welcome to the ramsey show thanks dave really appreciate how you doing better than i deserve how can we help yeah so uh a very little back story here i'm currently an undergraduate student um full-time enrolled i have a full tuition scholarship i'm also a resident advisor so i don't pay room and board either so i actually uh i net nothing at the end of each semester um recently i just bought a car um i have about ten thousand dollars in debt on that um there's a obviously a large push from the left pushing for uh student loan forgiveness so i was wondering what your thoughts would be on um pulling out student loans again and transferring my paying off my car with those loans with student loans and then possibly getting the chance to have my car loan that is now student loan forgiven so i'm a taxpayer and i'm supposed to pay off your car with your student loan forgiveness don't you think that's immoral yeah a little bit but at the same time it's um yeah a little bit it's it's if the opportunity is there um if the government's gonna be deciding to start handing out money left and right why not take the yeah so um let me tell you the the there was a book out several years ago called millionaire next door by a man named tom stanley who passed away it came out in 1992. he did a book later called the millionaire mind the millionaire next door he studied millionaires the millionaire mind he studied people that had 10 million dollars decca millionaires and he looked for the character he looked for the correlating statistical points he was a researcher and people that had 10 million or more and um he found demographic similarities he found uh career similarities and he found 38 statistical points of reference that indicated that they were causal that indicated that if you had a large number of these you would have a high indicator that you were heading towards 10 million or more and he listed them in order of the of you know the first one in other words number one was the most often occurring 38 was the least often occurring out of the 38 points you understand what i'm saying and let me tell you what number one was fanatical levels of integrity you need to visit that and sit on that because when you do not have fanatical levels of integrity you are missing the number one correlating data point towards become building wealth versus how much can i scam the american taxpayer out of and get me a free car dude that's just wrong yeah it's just wrong so no you should not do that a a a really important mentor of mine posed an important question back in my 20s and the question was this is integrity something you can sort of have you can mostly have and that is just saturn sat inside me for a long long time because i lived some of my life thinking yeah i mean mostly you know and here's the thing dave that bill's gonna come do for all of us it's gonna come due for all of us there's just no you you don't nobody gets rich scamming the government the taxpayers no it's just you don't get wealthy that way you know you don't get wealthy trying to you know run a welfare scam you don't get worse you don't run you don't get wealthy running up uh unemployment scam you don't get wealthy scamming the you know hiding your grandpa's assets so you can get a government-funded medicaid nursing home which is illegal as crud it's called welfare fraud but people do it every day and so stealing is not a part of integrity why do you think decca millionaires what what's the correlation there i don't know a lot of deck of millionaires uh the ones that i know anecdotally align up with that i mean everybody knows so you know any group of people you can put them in a room and there's there's idiots in everybody there's a jerk right there's somebody that doesn't have integrity so not all deca millionaires do but there's a high correlation to that that when they interviewed their wife when they interviewed their kids when they interviewed their employees when they interviewed their competitors in the marketplace they said you know i always agree with that guy but one thing about it if he says it's raining you better get your umbrella you know if he says if he says he's going to lease hell on you you better get ready because hell's coming you know you better whatever he says he's going to do he's going to do and so uh this fanatical levels of integrity and and i think it's because most things in this world move on the speed of trust i was going to say i think you could probably stumble and grit and grind and cut and cheat your way to 3 million but to get 10 you got to have other people walking alongside you got to have somebody else lifting with you with you if they don't trust you yeah and trust is just a it's a mammoth thing uh and yeah how you get trustworthy you're unbelievably consistent and you know the word integrity comes uh from the same root word that we get the word integer from okay or integral okay and so the word integer if you're a math nerd you know that an integer is a whole number it has no fraction to it it's not 1.5 it's not 1.25 it's a whole it's two one three it's whole and integrity is whole the whole person and it's not like well i don't you know i don't cheat on my wife but i do cheat on my taxes you know you know you're just a freaking cheat it's just a matter of time before it's revealed somewhere else it's because it's that hole and the the interesting thing about this is the reason i'm wearing this young man out is uh directly and indirectly and people in our audience simultaneously is that it's a choice you can grow up being a cheat and just decide i'm done yeah characters in the bible jacob i'm done jacob did it yeah he was known as the deceiver in the bible and then he became a man of integrity you can just say as of today i have integrity you can just decide yeah you can't decide i'm beautiful you can't decide to grow hair i've tried but you can just decide i'm going to have integrity that's going to tell the truth i'm going to be a man i'm going to be a woman that can be counted on and so i you know i you know once i got all that dialed into my head you know what i pay all my taxes every stinking dime i owe exactly we don't have a side set of books like we don't count the cash we count the cash the cash is part of the profit it's taxable income in america when you make a cash profit on something you can hide it but i you but the but the law says and my integrity says when i sign that tax return that it's real now i hate taxes and i don't pay a dime more than i have to and i spend money with accountants trying to legally use everything in the law to not pay it right but once i know what's owed i it's if i ever get audited come on over be a hot knife through butter because it's it's all right there baby i got nothing to hide and my guess is your heart rate runs a little lower yeah you sleep at night you sleep at night uh you know well the whole thing you know i don't have to remember what i don't have to try to remember what i said because whatever i said was what i said right huh you know it's like uh we were digging around in the warehouse we closed up a warehouse this week and they brought some of the old files over and i found a file in there i was going through them this morning with my assistant trying to figure out what to throw away and there's a file from 1999 with hate mail and um she she gets all my hate mail anyway you know because her mail and comes here and so she's like this is the same thing they say right now they hate you for exactly the same reason that they did in 1999 i think we need to we need to read it on the show oh i do need to do i'll bring the file down next week we'll do that yeah that's a good idea but yeah i'm unbelievably consistent i'm even hated for the same reason next week we're going to do an episode on my show james of just that 40 minutes of reading letters it's going to be fantastic we're all going to feel better about ourselves afterwards well we used to do read mean tweets but then that's all there are so it will be all you have to do is open it nice tweets that's right because they're the rare ones there's three of them that's right three like twitter is troll land but you know the the thing is that that once as a young guy i figured out reading these people and understanding these people and it became a part of my faith walk too to tell the truth to be the truth to to be consistent it does get easier it's hard in the moment i mean he's got ten thousand dollars in debt now yeah that have might have gone away if biden makes it go make student loans go away but um that's like fraud yeah it it you know if you if you hide assets so that you can get government money yeah that's illegal and my my challenge with the bailout besides the fact that we don't have the money is dave i i didn't understand what i was signing my wife and i signed for a lot but at the end of the day i saw my name on a piece of paper said i'll pay you back yeah you know what i mean that's right that's wrestled in my it's just been in me it's old school i told you i'll pay you back i will yeah yeah my challenge with it is it doesn't bother me much it's just quit making the stinking loans if you're going to forgive them it's intellectually dishonest you plug the hole first right yeah it's just why are you making them if there's a dadgum bad stop making them and then we'll talk about the rest of them this is the ramsey show [Music] have a friend or family member that needs a daily dose of ramsey advice in their life let them know about the ramsey call of the day podcast it's a quick hit of advice about life and money in under 10 minutes check out the ramsey call of the day podcast wherever you listen to podcasts [Music] this is the ramsay show [Music] you can be intentional about your character you can have money and a career you are the hero in your story live from the headquarters of ramsey solutions broadcasting from the dollar car rental studios it's the ramsey show where debt is dumb cash is king and the paid off home mortgage has taken the place of the bmw as the status symbol of choice i'm dave ramsey your host dr john deloney ramsey personality host of the dr john dolone podcast which is uh unbelievably popular these days well i guess it actually is believable but it's not i don't believe it i've got like 11 friends and my mom and well that started your base and it has succeeded and they have they have all told six people each and so we got to go in there my mom hits refresh a lot and i thought that was just it but it's more no it's actually a thing it's more than that you've become a thing dude it's happened right here at ramsey we watched it happen so check it out if you want to hear about life and mental health and boundaries and relationships it's all dr john dolone's show and you will leave a lot of things but board will not be one of them and so check it out and we'd love to have you there and his best-selling book redefining anxiety as well so we're here to help you with your life your money your mental health questions your relationship questions your life your money all of that is woven in there together kim is with us to start off this particular hour in roanoke west virginia hi kim how are you that'd be virginia hey kim how are you good thank you so much for taking my call i need some education and some advice okay i am 51 years old my husband's 57 more debt free except for the house we finally got our emergency fund fully funded which means we were able to start our roth this week which brought us up to 15 we owe 170 000 on the house and my question and because i don't know a lot about whole life policies we have two um one is worth twenty six thousand cash value and one's fourteen thousand and i want to know if we should take those and put them against the principle of that hundred and seventy thousand and how that works okay uh well life insurance is a crummy place to invest money it is not for an investment it's for replacing one of your incomes if one of you dies to help the other one get along we have term you have enough term insurance in place my husband's dad is a state farm agent he got him these whole life policies a long long long long time ago um we have term insurance six hundred thousand on him three hundred thousand on me so state no that's a different company through through our financial advisor oh okay okay good well um your husband's uh dad is still living yes yes okay he may not understand but i would cancel those okay he likely won't understand but he's yeah but that's not relevant to the conversation this stuff it's crap it's absolute crap and so you're better off to have your money going into things that are going up in value and that have a good rate of return and um you know and get the you know get the cash value out while you can because if you die whatever cash value is in there stays with the insurance company state farm keeps it they only pay the face amount of a policy that's how whole life works that's one of the reasons it's such a ripoff so um you do want to go ahead and get rid of that you may have some relationship issues in the midst of doing that but you need to get rid of it so folks here's the way this works whole life life insurance is roughly 20 times more expensive for the same amount of insurance nationally that's the averages so what you can buy for five dollars a month in term cost you a hundred dollars a month in whole life but dave it's such a great investment and the other 95 dollars that is not going to insurance then goes into an investment right and so let's learn the rules of the investment the first thing that happens is the first three years of a whole life policy your cash value is zero so you invested 95 a month in our example for three years and you have nothing that's called a front loaded financial product if you're being kind it's called getting screwed if you're not then once you do get money in there and it starts building up the average whole life policy in this nation today pays 1.2 percent interest and this is a long-term retirement plan investment which by the way the consumer price index was 4.2 for the last 74 years meaning inflation so if you're not making at least four percent of your money you're not keeping up with inflation so you're losing money when you save money long term at one percent that's after you lost all your money for the first three years but after all of that if you do it for years and years and and years and you finally have 20 000 in this 40 or 50 000 whole life policies or cash value build up that you paid an extra 95 dollars a month for all these years and then you die your fifty thousand dollar policy with a twenty thousand dollar savings in it that you paid twenty times extra per month to get pays fifty thousand dollars what happened to your twenty oh they keep it we gifted it to the insurance company yeah because we're just those kind of people we wanted a bigger shinier building in our downtown we needed another tower you know dave when you first told me this several months ago i even got over the dismal return what i didn't get over it's just driven me crazy when i'm driving home by myself they keep your money is that they go invested at 12 and they keep the 11 gap oh yeah yeah because most of your shopping malls and so forth are financed the mortgage company on major commercial projects is life insurance companies they they loan money back out into real estate as a mortgage company and make you know eight ten twelve on it wherever in there and so uh but aside from that so you have a banking system where you bought term insurance for five dollars you put 95 into a savings program that for the first three years they keep your money after that they pay you 1.2 and when you die they keep your savings account now what kind of idiot would have a savings account like that none but of course it's never explained to you that way by those people because they sell this crap so there's only two people that sell whole life life insurance ignorant people that don't understand it who are actually good kind sweet people they're just ignorant because that's exactly how it works or crooks because if you understood that and you sell it anyway you're a crook by definition and so um that means that sweet little lady's sweet little father-in-law i just called him a crook but oh well or are ignorant he's more than likely just ignorant though most of those guys i know in that world they're they're going to make sure they see that money they'll make so they mainly sell they mainly sell homeowners and car insurance and so then that you know their company has whole life and they they get them tied up into this and they make good money on because you get paid in the insurance world you get paid on premium and so if the premium is 20 times more your commission's 20 times more so of course they're going to go oh i think that's really good stuff you know but no one in the entire financial community not a single person anywhere in the financial world today recommends cash value life insurance except people that sell it none of the rest of us none of us that have you know that are independent people in the investment world you know they tell you get you you do need life insurance but you need to get term insurance people anywhere else any kind of study you do any kind of formal academic study you do anything unless it's from the whole life world unless it's from the people who sell it they don't tell you to buy it because it's absolutely the payday lender of the middle class is there any data that shows that people buy that more than term oh yeah they buy a lot more than that i feel like everyone i know has whole life yeah and the reason you know why they buy it more in terms of sold more pushed more than the term yeah i mean until until 15 20 years ago term insurance nobody talked about it hardly this was like this was the you know but if you go into every major city in america the in the skyline is banks intern and life insurance companies i wonder how that happened santa claus didn't build those buildings you did people this is the ramsey show [Music] [Applause] [Music] life is full of firsts [Music] as the first and longest serving christian health cost sharing ministry chm has shared medical expenses for its members since 1981. we believe you should have the freedom to focus on your health while being supported by a community of believers giving you the opportunity to create many more firsts [Music] dr john dolone ramsey personality is my co-host today thank you for joining us america this is the ramsey show common sense for your dollars and cents teaching people to live on less than they make a concept congress can't grasp lydia is with us in columbia missouri hey lydia how are you fine thank you how are you doing today better than i deserve how can we help you my husband and i are currently renting and our rent expires roughly by july this year we've been planning to buy our own home and we started listening to your program less than two or three months and we want to buy our own home because our kids are here to join us we are immigrants i joined my husband about two years ago in the pandemic or before the pandemic and i started working not long ago our income for the year is about a hundred and fifty hundred and sixty my husband makes over a hundred and i make about thirty thousand uh we have uh car loans uh my husband has student loans uh we have irs debt our total debt is 125. uh our question is um you've been here he's been here three years or you've been here three years i have been here two years he has been here 20 years 20 10 10. okay i was thinking man he got car debt and irs debt pretty quick okay wow so no where which uh which country are you immigrating from ghana africa ghana wonderful and uh is this a permanent citizenship or green card or what i am on green card he's permanent resident okay all right wonderful so you'll be able to get your citizenship then right yes yes wonderful awesome well welcome we're glad you're here all right and what do you guys do for a living um he's a nurse and i'm also a nurse as well but i am a medical assistant he's in this in the fight field gotcha and how old are your children uh our son is 21 uh daughter is eight fifteen our two little ones ten and 8. and they're all in africa one is here one is my step my husband had a child out with someone when he was here without me and then i have a natural fact i have two kids he has two back home but we both are out of our first marriages so we we have been together less than five years i understand okay and the um so you you could rent a home for the children that would live in your home if they were to move here correct yes okay that's what you need to do you need to get out of debt first build your emergency fund of three to six months of expenses second and then then start saving to buy a home when you buy a home with all this debt hanging around your neck and with no emergency savings the home will end up being more of a curse than a blessing it is not a it is it is home ownership when you're broke is a bad thing it will get you it will bite you um and so you've got you've got good incomes uh he has had some bad he's developed some bad american habits with money uh i hear them in the mistakes he's made uh you may have participated in a couple of those but you got car debt you got irs debt you got some other things you need to clean up here because that's that's a mess and then save your emergency fund for a rainy day and then and then do this so what i want to do is i want to help you with this because i'm inspired by your story we have a class called financial peace university we have a budgeting app called every dollar the premium version of every dollar in financial peace university are all included in what's called ramsey plus a one-year membership to that to be able to watch those videos go through this financial class you and your husband do that together uh obviously we charge a hundred dollars for all of that per year if i give it to you as a gift will you promise me that you and your husband will do everything in there yes we will i think you might so you hold on and i'll give it to you kelly will pick up and we'll get you signed up um that's pretty cool that's super cool and i love how you framed that you've picked up some bad american habits you don't do that in ghana hey man you don't have irs debt and car debt in ghana no it's it's the truth right it's the truth it's a it's a cultural thing i mean there's there are countries that do the same stupid butt stuff we do australia they're about as you know uk you know england about as stupid as we are on stuff like this are dumber in some cases but uh as a culture but um you know you can observe these things in different cultures the way people handle money the way they see money it has a lot to do with a lot of different factors economic factors and other things but you know what's interesting is if they get their act together they have a higher probability of becoming wealthy than someone that's born here why do you think that is i think they believe there's a land of opportunity and some of us aren't sure we just don't believe it anymore we're waiting on somebody else to do it and that that all they wanted was a chance a place that they could do it and they just see fields upon fields to go right it's the uh the land of opportunity not the land of entitlement and uh they see it that way they think the statue of liberty is real and um i do because i'm an old-fashioned american softy some of the coolest most inspirational folks i've i've been around in my in my in my educational career was international students who'd come over and say you're telling me i can get a law degree here you tell me i go to med school you're telling me i can go to walmart and they have seven kinds of game on yeah let's do this man this is the land of abundance yeah yeah gift upon gifts upon gift two aisles of cookies yeah what do you mean you gotta be kidding me yeah it's it's real john's in arlington virginia hey john welcome to the ramsay show yes sir thank you um oh thank you uh hi david hi john hi how can we help uh so i have a question i'm on a baby step six of your book um i have uh network is about one 1.8 million way to go free all right thank you um i didn't think it would happen uh so network i'm debt free um i definitely have an emergency fund my mortgage is uh 381 000 left on it and i'm considering there's out of my brokerage accounts there's one fund that has about three hundred and fourteen thousand in it and i'm wondering if i should sell that to pay off my mortgage um it's returning about thirteen percent and i'm how old are you i'm 52. okay where'd it go did you uh did you inherit any of this 1.8 million um i inherited nine thousand nine thousand dollars that's the greatest answer not exactly a trust fund baby okay i'm just saying i did i didn't have inheritance so you did what's been your income to your working life here um so when i was 20 it was down like somewhere some years fifty dollars and to a hundred to a couple thousand i had uh what's been your best year what'd you make your in your very best year ever 160 okay what's your career field uh and uh software consulting way to go i'm so proud of you man awesome man so here's the way you answer the question there's a an old thing from the harvard investment newsletter that's called sunk cost analysis and you just reverse engineer your question and it'll answer it for you if your home was paid off and you did not have this investment com brokerage would you go borrow on your paid for home and put 300 000 in a brokerage account no same thing every day that you don't pay this off you borrowed it again yeah so what that question does though is it also causes you you're telling me about the 13 rate of return and all that crap so that's the math side of your brain the other side of your brain called your heart is where you measure risk and when i suggested that you borrow on your paid for home it kind of puts your stomach in your throat a little bit and that means that you all of a sudden started measuring the risk of this you're not going to go bankrupt and you're not getting foreclosed on you're worth 1.8 million dollars you've done you've done it dude you're good but this is just a measurement of peace when your head lays on the pillow at night pay off your house today sir this is the ramsey show [Music] [Music] thank you for joining us america dr john deloney is my co-host today here on the air uh you can add hope to your inbox hope to your inbox with ramsey newsletter whether you're on baby step one two three four five six or seven it's packed with actionable guidance on up-to-date ways to save money stay on a budget invest smarter give more every week we walk with you as you tackle debt as you build your savings plus you'll never miss the latest articles shows products from ramsey solutions of course it's free you can subscribe to the ramsey newsletter today at ramseysolutions.com newsletter our question of the day comes from blinds.com find out for yourself why blinds.com is the number one online retailer of custom window coverings you get free samples free shipping and with the new promos they run every month you'll save even more the promo code is ramsey all right today's question comes from robbie in california at age five i started piano lessons and five years later i got a job playing at a restaurant on weekends i was paid 60 bucks a night plus tips my dad said that since i was a minor he would save the money for me when i started college and asked for the funds i learned all the money was gone i know the account had over eight thousand dollars in it how do i move on from the trauma of this and develop a healthy relationship with money i don't think the relationship problem here is with money i think you got to say what your dad did sucks and there's a period at the end of that sentence and then you got to move on um i'd add one more sentence what he did sucks he sucks yeah he stole it from his kid what a scumburger stole from his kid and let me tell you it'll just tell you when i say that everybody goes yeah but when this young man hears me say that or you say that it's hard for him to hear it's hard to hear your dad is a bad guy oh yeah your mom's a bad lady because we jump in and want to defend him well i mean it's just it's just that's it's against our nature to think that the person that's supposed to take care of you screwed you over yeah but you got you got to say it i often tell people to write it down and put a period into that sentence yeah and then you got to feel it and it hurts and then you got to go make a decision what you're going to do next yeah and so you know what are your takeaways from this how do you defeat the emotional scars and trauma you have to intellectually get above them and uh then you feel them yeah you got to feel them yeah but getting above them is it's not a pr it's not a money problem it's a dad problem it's a dead problem and so what do you walk away from this learning uh well hey you're good at the piano uh people will pay you for it yeah uh b you uh you know you have the ability to make money and save money works hard yeah you got a good work ethic i mean 10 years old he's at the pianos i'm reading that right five plus five yeah yeah and so um uh uh don't trust your dad with money yeah we're not gonna give him any money yeah i'm not gonna trust him with much anything really um you know just five minutes of our time maybe but i'm not not going to leave my kid there yeah either um you can't trust him stealing i don't know what else i can trust him with so i mean he be there with my kid but not leave my kid there by myself by himself so um i wouldn't um not tell this is not still something some kind of noticeable change in the old man's life because he's crook yeah um then uh the other thing is is that you probably learned a lesson that you do want to learn and that is you don't trust other people to take care of your money now when you're 10 you're supposed to yeah he's a child but you can take that away and go you know when i'm 40 i'm not going to let someone take care of my money blindly that's right i'm going to always be involved i'm going to always know where my money is i'm always going to understand it um no one's got like power of attorney so you know i'm in nashville we're in nashville and over the years i've become friends with a lot of uh folks in the music business they get scammed they just and the stories of the guys that are you know 60 70 years old and how they got scammed when they were making big hits because they turned everything over it's like an athlete and they knew this guy yeah and i loved him and he hung out with my kids and my family and a hundred million dollars later he took a lot of my money yeah i don't have any money because i turned it over to him like this kid turned it over to his dad you have to do that when you're ten you don't have to do that when you're adults so it's a good it's a good takeaway and that's not being bitter or that's not being toxic or something you know i don't trust anymore because of my father no you just don't you know it's your job to manage the money and understand what it's doing you can help get advice from people but you can't get a babysitter for your money so there's been some i've been doing a lot of reading on trauma the last few years dave and um there's two guys dr peter levine and another guy named dr bessel vanderkolk they have a description of trauma that was transformative for me and it was it's less about the issue and more about your body's response in the present to that issue so what i would tell this young man is when he's about to do something related with money and his heart starts racing just stop for a second and acknowledge oh my body's trying to take care of me and then you can say i'm good i appreciate your body taking care of me but i know what i'm doing now or i've got trust here or i've dug into this account or i'm and what you want to do is make peace with your body in the present because it's just trying to take care of you and it will take care of that little 10 year old kid for the rest of your life if you don't acknowledge it but we spend so much time trying to replay what has already happened try to edit that story you can't edit the fact your dad stole your money what you can do is learn to make peace with your body moving forward that's interesting your body reacts as if the same event is happening again yes over and over to warn you that it could be happening again and that's why it's a warning mechanism all day every day and we even will fall into similar relationships to people who hurt us in the past because our body wants to correct it and fix it and we'll end up in the same situation over and over like i remember when we were i was a little kid we were coming home from my grandmother's uh several mini like a 10 hour drive and uh we came across the top of this hill two lane road and stopped because the guy was turning left in front of us i came over the hill and plowed in the back of us i mean knocked us in the neck to total the car wow it was a bad car wreck and um it i that was 50 years ago and when somebody gets up on my bumper from behind now your heart takes a still feeling it takes off that's right that's the same thing and so there's a centralized a little part of your brain that's is going to scan your environment for a year forever until you say oh there it is i'm good i'm in a big raptor now right yeah i'm good yeah i'll win this exchange yeah yeah but it's just like whoa i want to get one of those old people bumper stickers like get off my butt you know kind of thing you know yeah get off my lawn you know yeah that kind of thing and uh it's just but it's all it's that it's associated with that trauma your body remembers that the name of the book is the body keeps the score right and so when think about when you uh like when you're you know these guys are called up in their second marriage but their first wife blew all the money and stole everything and so they have trouble trusting the new wife and so dave we are in a culture that is so obsessed with new information and we can shove it all in our frontal lobe new facts but that part of our brain that's looking for threats is still running and running lizard brain is real always running until you make peace with she walks in holding the checkbook and you go you gotta go hey she's different she's new she i trust her she ain't got the same name i trust her that's right i trust her she looks totally different yeah right and your body will begin to go okay cool just want to make sure that she's not a threat and once you make peace with your body man that's when your body re you receive this healing from this trauma you know that's what happens when people get their emergency fund that's exactly right they've been living on the edge for so long that every stinking little thing was a crisis everything i mean every hangnail is a crisis when you're broke right i mean every little dinky fifty dollar thing is a crisis when you're broke but when you got ten thousand dollars in the bank it's an inconvenience it's annoying it's just an annoyance but when your emotions still go oh god oh god and we hear about people who get out of debt and they say i can't spend now that's it yeah because they've got a part of their brain saying you will never spend again because we remember what happened last time yeah and you got to make peace with it yeah and that's when that's that's why you're coaching you can retrain it because it requires it requires intellectually getting above it that's right and and going wait facts are my friends as you always say yeah and so like you know but you can't you can't steamroll your feelings with you guys i mean like sharon when we went broke she was terrorized by us being broke yep and so anytime we do anything that feels like the stuff we used to do like we might the alarm sets off and it's like whoa chill we've got money there's lots of zeros and comments we could just burn that much in the middle of the floor nobody will care so it's okay it's okay and she okay she has to have to revisit it that's very interesting the human body is extraordinary at taking care of us wow this is the ramsey show [Music] [Music] [Applause] [Applause] christy wright is all about equipping women to make money doing what they love one of the ways she does that is through the business boutique academy her exclusive online training group for women with businesses having a business can be overwhelming it can be lonely but it doesn't have to be with the right training the right support there's nothing you can't do so whether you have a business or side hustle ladies if you're looking for to use your passion and skills to start a business and make extra money christy will guide you every step of the way enrollment for the academy closes tonight we only have open enrollment twice a year because we want everybody to be in the same in the same groups moving through the process and only twice a year don't miss your opportunity to get it closes tonight at 8 pm central time join the academy at ramsey solutions.com academy and become part of the incredible community of women who are making money doing what they love alex is in santa clara california hi alex how are you good sir thank you for taking my call how are you better than i deserve what's up so uh my parents are what you might call uh rock stars mom's a teacher dad's a cop and they are multi-millionaires just from doing all your stuff uh which means that when i went to college i went to this real fancy expensive school and they were able to cashflow the whole thing um i i'm 24 now i can't help but feel like i you know i want to pay them back somehow but um i can't just cut them a check you know it's not like they're going to care about that so you know what kind of things can i do as a son you know to honor the gifts that they've given me and pay them back somehow get married and have babies and be a good husband don't be an idiot you don't you don't give them they don't want money they don't need money uh let me tell you i got three kids that are successful uh have great marriages strong followers of jesus that they're they're experts in their fields um they're they're very giving and generous they're good moms and dads and they bring the grand babies over to see papa dave i don't need anything else from them dude that's everything that's the best way they can pay me back don't be screw-ups is it really that simple it really is hey alex and i'll tell you i'll add one more um i can't believe it took me this long to do this as i was leaving my home state to move to nashville um i took a detour i drove about three hours out of the way and i i called my dad and said hey would you like to meet for coffee as i'm leaving um the state and he said sure and i had a moment to look him in the eye over coffee and i just said hey i need you to know something you did a great job and i'm so glad i'm your son and that was an exchange that i should have had 20 years ago 15 years ago 10 years ago man you can't pay the light bill with that but i think my dad he walked about six inches taller after that and i think every dad wants to hear from their kids i'm grateful for you and man as a 24 year old your roi is money how can i pay you back man letting them know i'll tell you grateful for your if your dad if your dad is your hero tell him to his face give him a hug a front hug front hug front cut your dad don't be weird about it do it and you know and every so and every so often just go you know if you want to spend some money uh you know buy a couple airline tickets and go on a blank trip whatever it is you do hunting trip golf trip i don't care and that kind of stuff i i you know my sons and i and uh my my son son-in-law's dads we all went on a big golfing trip this summer all together and that was that was more fun than i can think of doing anything so those kinds of things i have breakfast every tuesday morning with my son who is one of our senior vice presidents here and runs a big portion of this company and um he and i have breakfast here every morning every tuesday morning seven o'clock if i'm in town he's in town and um you know we talk about everything business kids everything all them down and it's just that that stuff is more important dude than you buying them a thingy but here's the thing the fact that alex at 24 is thinking about the character part how can i let these two important people know that i love them tells me he was raised right yeah beyond the fact that his parents didn't make a ton of money but they still figured out how to be millionaires so schoolteacher and a cop that's right yeah you're not making a ton of money in that house and i've lived with a schoolteacher and a cop but they taught this guy integrity and don't guys life is a mist it's a vapor i've never ever sat with somebody who said you know what i told my kid i loved him too much i told my dad i loved him too much say it again and again and again cats in the cradle and a silver spoon right all right kevin in spokane washington hey kevin how are you i'm guessing good how can we help well i have a question and i mean uh i mean to the gist of it there's a lot of details to it but the gist is i've been working on lawn care for a long time and as most guys in the industry have thought about going off on my own start my own business and uh my wife and i kind of came to that decision over this last winter and and we're kind of getting there so i guess my real question is like should i should i do it the slow way debt-free where you know every i getting cut another couple customers every year i save up and i buy equipment and then i do it that way or i mean we both really decided to do this full-time that if i should take a business loan and get the equipment i need to really get started uh you know beginning yeah how long have you been listening to this show hi kevin i'd like to introduce you to my friend dave ramsey how long have you been watching the show well yes i mean long story short i actually know it's a simple question dude how long have you been listening to the show uh about a month okay that's cool and so you've listened about 10 or 15 episodes or something okay that's fine but if you've been listening for two years it's a different answer so uh it's not as gentle and so um the the uh we teach people not to borrow money because the shortest distance between where you are in wealth is debt-free right and so um i started this business as 350 million dollars this year off a card table in my living room and every year we poured money back into it and grown it organically with organic cash flow we've never borrowed a dime um and uh you know so lots of times we didn't go do something or buy something because we were investing back into ramsey and growing ramsey and it's worked out well for us so um you can do the same thing here so you start with the best equipment you can get with the cash you have and you work like a crazy man because equipment is called overhead yeah and you know you so you always want to limit overhead in business you don't go buy the the guys in the loan business that have the biggest fanciest tractors are the ones that make the least money well that's a good point and uh you know if you go up on a construction site and there's seven pickups sitting there and there's three brand new ones that look like they're off a chevy commercial going through a mud puddle and there's two beat up ones the guys with the two beat-up ones are millionaires the other two twerps can't make their payments friday and this is how life works so that's what you do here you buy the least equipment that'll get the job done uh and as you make more and more and more money your equipment will be better and better that's fine and more and more equipment and you can run more than one crew and all that kind of stuff the good news is you know the business well enough that you're confident that you can grow it that's good and so but you can the good news about lawn care is you can start it with very little money uh and you probably have the cash to buy that first tractor and a little trailer and a little pickup to pull it around and one weed eater and get her done baby i'd love to see him put a price everything out some good used equipment get a number and then sit down with his wife and say let's go berserker mode for nine months 12 months get that number get this number yeah and then you slow down a little bit but i want you to go bananas and get that and just not or if it's two thousand dollars and you got two thousand dollars and you wanna dump it in there and go do it get after it right go get it if you got the two thousand dollars laying there and but you don't need twenty thousand dollars to do this no people just overbuy to get going well you're gonna buy the wrong stuff and it's gonna be different and you know i mean the computer world god man you know how fast our computers are out of date as soon as we unpack them out of the box that's kind of the new thing you buy this whole shipment of computers you get them up you open them all you tear off that little piece of cellophane and then you just close them and put them back in the box and yeah they usually ship them to somebody else already done you know it's unbelievable so i mean i can't tell you how many times we've replaced computers in 30 years of running this business wow i mean we just and and they're just they're dust they're a door stop you know but my dad's still using that same honda lawn mower he's had for 111 years well i mean equipment is equipment it's overhead and keep your overhead down if you're going to win in business i think you're going to do great kevin and i think you need to go do it but you do it with cash brother thank you for calling in that puts this hour the ramsey show in the books [Music] hey it's kelly associate producer for the ramsay show this episode is over but if you heard about an event product or service and didn't have a chance to write it down don't worry we list everything you've heard about during this episode of the podcast show notes section or head to thermzyshow.com thanks for listening [Music] this is the ramsay show [Music] you can be intentional about your character you can have money and a career you are the hero in your story live from the headquarters of ramsey solutions broadcasting from the dollar car rental studios it's the ramsey show where debt is dumb cash is king and the paid off home mortgage has taken the place of the bmw as the status symbol of choice i'm dave ramsey your host dr john deloney ramsey personality is my co-host today he's the host of the very popular dr john and deloney podcast uh the popularity is going uh up and to the right it's hockey sticking the numbers are amazing so if you want to hear a really entertaining show about life and uh people's uh questions about relationships and so forth he's there and he's here today to help you as well the phone number is triple eight eight two five five two two five speaking of calls for dr john caleb's with us in austin texas hi caleb how are you good better than i deserve how about you guys just the same sir how can we help figured uh well i'm calling on behalf of my amazing wife her and her mom had a falling out about probably about three years ago and i'm sorry say that again how long ago probably about three years ago three years ago okay yeah and it's still pretty uh pretty hectic um and so my what does that mean what does hectic mean uh it's not it's not a good relationship um we so we had our son who just turned nine months uh they met once and our the kind of the rules we have is not allowed at our house and my son's our son's not allowed over there and it's it's it's way heavy on my wife um so what'd you feel i need to draw that's a hard boundary why'd you feel the need to draw that boundary it's it's uh it's just a cancerous person i guess to say be more specific you're talking pretty vague be specific something happened that said you cannot do that there's a danger to your child yeah uh well just the environment uh her boyfriend is not uh not the best man in the world um she's just she's very negative she's always doubted our marriage would laugh and tell people we're not gonna laugh when my wife got pregnant said uh you know that i wasn't going to stick around okay and we had a miscarriage and she just blew it off and my wife just recently asked her to uh if they could go to counseling to try and fix it and she was just like uh all things about it and it's just it's i mean it's just to me my kind of view is if if the thought of being around someone stresses me out i just don't even want to deal with that that's easier said than when it's your mom and yeah and your your wife has a picture in her head of this new baby and her mom's a part of that and she had to draw boundaries for whatever reason i still don't fully get it but she had to draw some boundaries that doesn't include her she's gonna agree i'm trying to understand just as a guy i'll let john talk a bit but but so your your mother-in-law's uh series of offenses are that she's a jerk uh yeah well i mean she's done something other than has she done something other than just been a jerk to your wife uh no no like physical harm nobody i mean is her she just like nasty and kind of mean snarly and i mean there's a lot of uh ethical things that have gone on with like uh uh finances and stuff like that that i don't want to air out but um well she stole from your wife i well from uh her father okay she's just a person of no character right yes okay like so she only will talk to my wife when her boyfriend's out of town and then when her boyfriend comes back she doesn't respond to anything so what's the challenge is your wife just struggling with just putting a period at the end of that relationship and moving on yeah it's yeah it eats her up inside yeah and that's where i'm calling and like i'm just trying to you know i guess the man of me is just like well you know so long and for her it's harder and i'm just trying to figure out yeah it's her mom yeah that's her mom yeah you got to honor that don't go don't get in the trap of talking bad about her mom get in the trash supporting her and loving her at some point she's gonna have to make the decision she's gonna have to put a peer to the end of that sentence her mom's never gonna do it with her because if she would you wouldn't be in the situation the first place so your wife's gonna have to decide to grieve this loss and then start creating a new picture that's to include her baby you and whoever else but not mom and your wife can do that on her own terms in her own time and that's frustrating and annoying if you're a husband who loves his wife and doesn't want to see her hurt but any time there's a separation from a mom like this it's just gonna be hurt yeah it's gonna be hard yeah especially a lot let me throw out something um the secret to happiness is low expectations and so um if uh if her mother had a i'll just make up something i don't know something where let's say she had alzheimer's okay and when people get alzheimer's they generally either become much nicer than they used to be or much meaner than they used to be um my mother-in-law got alzheimer's and uh bless her soul she got nicer and um uh and kept feeding the dog until the dog got fit fat i mean it was it was almost humorous and so because she forgets she fed the dog yeah so if you had someone like that you would not we were never looked at sharon's mom when she was going through that and said we we lowered our expectations of her because she was deficit does that make sense yeah no that makes more i mean my expectations i don't think you're doing well yeah and i think your wife still has high mom expectations of a woman who can't deliver yeah and so if she lowered her expectations and just said pretend like mom has alzheimer's and she's a little nutty cause she's a little nutty dude the woman you just described is like oscar the grouch yeah and she's really not god she's really not got her crap together mentally this woman doesn't but i can see the challenge between someone with alzheimer's and saying this person's got no but i'm saying if if you if you're i'm talking about his wife if she said instead of hoping mom is going to be all super mom she's never going to be i know instead said let's treat her as if she's deficit because she is gotcha if you and you just go oh that's just my crazy mother this is just your mother it's just my crazy mother that's just my crazy mother yeah i mean and then you don't then you don't get all tore up about it because she the reason my the girl's getting all tore up about it she keeps thinking mom's gonna come through she's got she's got this picture am i wrong um yeah but i think i think that i think that that having lower expectations isn't going to make her feel good she's still going to have to be she's still going to grieve that thing that mom's never going to come through like that i don't disagree with that yeah but i'm saying if every one of these conversations it's like my mom did it again well what did you expect yeah yeah yeah if you if the rattlesnake's gonna bite you right that's it it's stinking snake bites so don't be when they start you know when that little tail starts wiggling and making that little noise you just get back you know caleb let me ask you this are you in a place have you all backed yourselves into a corner with an either or that was a little bit over the top or do you feel good about it um and i'll ask you this i know a lot of first-time parents who who make these big declarations you can't come into my home unless you've you've showered in lysol and wash your hands and by third kid you know the kid's walking in with a handful of dog do and nobody cares right have you all first kitted this situation where you have you've made these declarations yeah and i don't know my mindset is if you have to hide seeing my son then why like why why are we even gonna be around that type of person well disagree with you yeah well yeah it's the bottom line is there's a lot of heartbreak for your wife it's very hard for her um crazy mom's just gonna be crazy you're looking at it very like ah that's what it is and it's just it's it's her mom you can't take that loose yeah that there's still that umbilical cord in the spiritual world be gentle with your grieving man i'll send you a copy of henry cloud's book called boundaries he's a friend of john's and mine and it's a world-class book on this subject hold on i'll send you a copy of it [Music] hey folks i got a great option to help you pay for your education the army national guard the army national guard believes you are the next greatest generation because you have proven that even in adversity that you have what it takes to succeed that's why they offer benefits like tuition assistance career training and a paycheck to help you avoid debt no matter what your goals are the army national guard can help you get there visit nationalguard.com to find out more [Music] so [Music] dr john dolone ramsey personality is my co-host today open phones at triple eight eight two five five two two five when it comes to making big money or life moves like buying a home or getting married or having a baby it's likely the last thing on your mind to make sure you have the right insurance coverage i get it big changes have a lot of details but what would be even more overwhelming is to find yourself in a situation where you or your family are in the hole because you were not covered if not having the time or energy is what's keeping you from getting the right insurance coverage use one of our endorsed local providers their independent agents find you the best coverage at the best price your car homeowners insurance as an example they will shop and get you the best deal typically save you over 700 over what you're paying now a year all you got to do is text the word insurance 233 789 text insurance 233 789 rodney's in rochester minnesota hi rodney how are you good yourselves better than i deserve what's up hey um just recently been listening to you got a couple questions on where i'm at with my job being a union member we have what um you know everyone knows as a pension and we also have an annuity and i've been in the trade for seven years now they send us statements now listening to you i'm kind of picking apart when my statement comes on what they're investing our money into good i'm trying to break kind of break it down uh you recommend 15 um last year alone i made a hundred and like a hundred and eleven thousand so a little over fifteen thousand a year and hours worked last year out of you know our package they take six dollars and fifty cents an hour put it into that annuity and i'm you know getting pretty close to that 15 now do you count that as my 15 do i need to go out and start anything else because i have my pension which we have a great pension and the annuity i'm just wondering where i should go from there and i also looked on the statements they have things like you know they put some of our money into bonds but they have like the mid cap good growth stocks and you know everything you talk about but they also give you the option on this website that we can change what we'd like and i wonder if i find like uh you know smart investor pro and he gets inside my annuity can he break that down into just strictly um the mutual funds alone is that something so let me make sure i understand exactly i think i do but let me make sure your pension of course you're putting nothing in their funding that your annuity is coming out of your check you are putting it in but it's mandatory yes sir okay and it amounts to almost 15 and you have choices in there that you can do and so that's much like a person in corporate america having a 401k all right and so okay you have them you only you have a mandatory money that you're putting in do they match the annuity as well or they just do the pension just uh pension perfect okay does the annuity have the option of being a roth i have not asked okay so first thing i want to do is find out if it's a roth and then the next thing um the you can get in touch with a smart investor pro they make their money the smart investor pros when they sell you a mutual fund and put it into like your roth ira or do a 401k rollover or something like that so helping you pick your annuity over at the union makes them zero they might do it anyway as a favor because you're a dave ramsey listener so you could ask one of them they probably would do it just so they could help your wife or help your kids or your grandpa or whatever later that kind of a thing but they're not they're not actually going to make money on that transaction obviously that's a union transaction but they might do it so let's kind of talk through for a second though that you said mid cap i'm guessing they have mid cap they have small cap they have uh bonds uh they they probably have large cap or something like that does this does that sound right you nailed it you're back okay well let's talk through and i'll explain to you what they are and you can put percentages in each one correct yes i can okay we teach people to put money in four types of mutual funds growth growth and income aggressive growth and international and let's just have a little class here on what this stuff is because it's good for the listeners all across america to hear while i'm talking to you okay so okay uh cap means capitalization means this money the company has large cap is big companies huge big dinosaur companies if you were to look in that large cap fund you would see names like alcoa general motors big old honkin dinosaurs that move slow and are predictable and steady okay small cap is quite the opposite it's the rowdy kids all right it's the brand new startups the tech boys some of the healthcare startup things uh the brand the companies haven't been around a long time it's gonna make a lot more money but lose a lot more money it's gonna be wild child of the of the mix you're following me yes because they're the small companies they're brand new so they're more volatile or they're or they're just rowdy whatever they i mean they could be in a rowdy industry whatever they're volatile mid cap guess what that's goldilocks that's right in the middle the porridge that's just right okay and so that's kind of you know that's that's like your uh home depot or mcdonald's or you know uh i don't know uh you you might find uh facebook in there you might find some stuff like that those are big companies but they're not old stodgy companies they still have some life to them they're still kind of they're kind of in the middle you know they're like it's like the young kid that's wild the middle ager and the older guy kind of thing almost in terms of their behavior and their risk patterns and so your large cap is much like a growth and income that i'm telling you your mid cap is much like a traditional growth fund your small cap is much like an aggressive growth fund do you have anything that sounds like international or foreign yes i those are on there as well they have they list well you know i've i've heard you run through them and uh you know quite a few your youtubes and i looked on my sheet and those are all on there but they're not split exactly 25 25 25 25 okay are the large cat is the large cap a group of funds or one fund that is large gap it'd be a group there's multiple okay so you're you have to pick like one whole thing and be in that is that what they're telling you um you know i darn i wish i had that's okay i'm just it sounds like if if like mid cap is like 10 different funds in there i just and you have to pick one of them i'd pick that one okay because because it's right down the middle okay and it spreads it across those 10 funds and just forget it all right that's like a buying an s p 500 funds index fund almost like yeah i like buying an index fund i wouldn't want you in the wild child with everything i'd love to have some over in there though so if you could put 25 large cap 25 small cap 25 mid cap and 25 international that would give you the mix we're talking about and i think we're done for the day you know i mean that's that's going to get you there but i'm not sure that that's what they're allowing you to do here i can't tell whether they're grouping these things if you pick a single fund out of the large cap pick the best one the one that's got the best track record over 10 or more years do a single fund out of the mid cap pick the best one the one that's got the best track record over 10 to 25 years same thing in the small same thing the international and you put those four funds together out of those four different categories now you've got a portfolio like we talk about like i personally do with my 401k john does too here at our company and so but that that's these these names tell you what they are so teach me what an annuity is i hear that a lot an annuity is technically an insurance company product a savings account with an insurance company this is a variable annuity that's funded with mutual funds a fixed annuity is a it sucks a fixed annuity is like a cd but at an insurance company it's gonna pay two three percent and they're going to take the cap and and but the annuity wraps around the money and keeps it warm from taxes like being in a 401k okay so it's just a different product under a different bank exactly but you but inside of a variable annuity you can have all these different options we've been talking about okay and so it sounds like they've got a fairly good offering yeah if you can just weed through the weeds and figure out what to do with it so yeah you can check a smart vester pro one will probably help you walk through it and knock this down but that's the general ideas of how you get at this rodney thanks for being a listener [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Music] [Music] [Music] so [Music] dr john dolone ramsey personality is my co-host today open phones at triple eight eight two five five two two five riley is with us in kansas city hi riley welcome to the ramsey show hi dave and dr john it's an honor to speak to you guys you too what's up so my wife and i got married back in january congratulations thank you sir we finished up baby step three in march and we're trying to figure out now whether we should move on to baby step three b or move into baby step four with the idea of throwing whatever else we can into a savings account for a down payment eventually awesome good work man that's incredible so uh how old are you guys i am 23 and she is 21. what's your household income it's going to be roughly a hundred thousand so she is still in school she finishes in may and she'll start working full-time in july awesome what's she gonna do uh she's an architectural engineer a lot smarter than me well played man well played always good to marry up brother so what do you do uh i work in landscaping good very good okay all right so 100 000 household income you're in your early 20s and you're thinking about starting to save for a house what's the downside um well we're not entirely sure when we know the place that we're living at now we have a contract through until next july and we're kind of thinking we'd potentially be in the position to buy a house maybe next spring but we're also not sure so i don't know if if it's if we should you know save up and i really wouldn't know how much exactly to save up or at this point and then start baby step four or start baby step four and throw whatever we can well you got plenty of time to do either you're very smart very wise very ahead of the game at your age and so you're not calling me up at 62 with this question you're already you're you know you've already got you got 50 years here to play this out so you're gonna be fine dude you've done well so uh you're gonna get both you're going to get retirement and you're going to get a house so it's just a matter of what the order and what the first things are so what's the in my mind as young as you guys are i i would you know how much to put down i'll give you a hint the more you put down the better off you're going to be you can't put down too much it's impossible so um you just start saving i mean once you just pile up as much money as you can pile up in the next 12 months okay and guess what if you don't buy a house then you still gotta build a pile of money it's okay okay and then you can start then you can start your uh baby step four and if you run numbers from you know 25 to 65 that 40 years investing 15 of 100 000 that's going to be like 15 million that's what you're going to have so my point is if you if you put this off two years and say for a house and then start saving for retirement as long as you do 15 the rest of your life and that's if you never get a raise which by the way if you work 40 years and never get a raise you're a loser okay so i think you're gonna be okay right you follow me i mean the set of assumptions here is very conservative is my point yes sir yes sir you're gonna do great i just pile up as much as you can pile up this year just make it a game how much of a down payment can we save he sounds like a guy that got in the football game and on the very first pass he made some good moves and scored a touchdown and he crossed the line and the crowd is cheering and he didn't know what to do with the ball he didn't have a dance plan he doesn't like do i just hand it back to the rep i don't know what to do man and it's just celebrate and then go to the next step yeah right it's this weird 23 and we are crushing it and do we uh screw this up i scored man hey scored a touchdown dude it's awesome it's awesome that's fun you've done so well sir so well monique is with us in bangor maine hi monique how are you very well thank you to kelly for taking my call today sure if you got by her your life's good what's that's a good move monique so i am looking for some guidance from dave and dr delaney about my will i have two daughters one of whom is doing very well financially she and her husband are in the one percent and the other daughter earns about 50 000 and for several years i felt uncomfortable about how to like divide up the assets i'm an everyday millionaire um but more recently i i've gotten to the point where i don't want to give either of them any money i i feel like i've worked so hard my whole life i paid for college for them i've paid over half a million dollars for college for them and they've turned into socialists and they just but they have and and well you sit [Laughter] i'm very depressed about where i see my children heading and i think i don't want my money to go to them and i feel terrible about that you shouldn't they're not entitled they didn't hit the dna lottery they're not entitled uh my children have been instructed since they were small that in order to get the opportunity to manage the money that god gave me to manage meaning that i panned off the responsibility to manage some of the ramsey fortune to them uh they will have to be people of character socialists are not people of character okay there are parasites and so um if my children are gonna be parasites i'm not gonna finance their lives so that they have a reality show is there a way to put money in let's say a trust where they couldn't get access to it to they were let's say 70 years old well i mean then they'd just be a 70 year old socialist right well but i i'm hoping by then they will have kind of woken up you can i put mine is my all of our estate is trust based and our trust is um we've done it from a faith perspective not an economics perspective but uh if they're not walking with god they don't get to manage god's money it's what the trust says really yep and no uncertain terms and so uh you know in your case you could change that lingo and just go you know when you become a capitalist you get the opportunity to manage this money monique here's what i would do i would take some time to distill down beyond the monikers and the reports shrugged what that's fantastic um man i am not usually at a loss for words and you got me on that one monique here's what i want you to do i want you to distill down beneath the quote unquote word socialist what are the things that they are saying that concerns you that you think that you are leaning into and i want you to have a direct straight conversation about what these things are and then i want you to identify them and like dave said it's your mind you can do what you want to with it i i've seen more and more of the last four or five years a lot of semantic shale games and once you start to talk to somebody it's like oh we're way on the same page i just thought this about this about that right i think you can say that i i you are not required morally ethically legally spiritually to leave your money to people that you do not agree with how they live their lives period full stop in there right so now once you've said that then you can start to have some discussions with them that are very gentle and very life-giving and incorrect and very very very kind and very clear and it's like okay you know i've paid for all this stuff for you and truthfully i don't agree with the way you're living your life and i'm not willing to finance that going forward right and so it's up to you if you want to do that i'm not being controlling i just want to let you know that i'm going to go ahead and do a reading of the will and you're not going to be in it as long as you're living this way whatever this way is if your kid's a heroin addict you sit down with them and go i'm not funding your heroin but what you with my death that is unique is you articulated what that meant not you're not vague yeah no no i'm very clear very cool it's unbelievably detailed and it cost twenty five thousand dollars right very clear it's ridiculous yeah the legal field fees on this were amazing but i just you know and then we get to have this meeting once a year where we revisit and go oh by the way remember what we said if you're going to manage money for god this is what managing money for god looks like first you got to be walking with him and you know and we do this kind of stuff and you don't get you know and so it's not we're not mad about it we feel a responsibility heroin addicts are socialists you know i mean it's like wow this is the ramsey show [Music] [Music] our scripture of the day ecclesiastes 3 11 he has made everything beautiful in its time he has also said eternity in every human heart yet no one can fathom what god has done from beginning to end augmentino said always do your best what you plant now you will harvest later so i think it's good to revisit that last call because it was not only highly entertaining but it was um but the concept needs to be talked about uh we tell everyone to get a will 100 everyone needs a will and i always tell people go ahead and have a reading of the will while you're alive yes uh meaning tell people what the flip's in it so that there's not some drama after you're dead and and they because what ends up happening is you leave one of your kids as the executor and they have to execute what's in your will and other people that are or aren't in the will are mad at the executor and to shoot your arrows and that's not cool yeah you need you need to go ahead and take those arrows while you're alive and go look you're not in this because have some character right yeah you're not in this because and it takes it helps the family after your death uh not be caught off guard and have all these unmet expect i thought they were gonna get a million dollars they got nothing or whatever they thought they're gonna get a hundred dollars they got nothing um or whatever right i mean so go ahead and have a reading of the will meaning you tell people what's in the will okay if i pass away this brother and sister are going to be the guardians of our children this person over here is going to be the trustee of our life insurance proceeds to be given to those children according to our trust and just let you know that so that you know this other person over here that thought they were going to be managing both and getting either uh their their well i wonder what it went away he didn't do you know well shut up you know i've already covered it while i was alive that's right so you have a reading of the will you do a will while you're alive you tell people what's up you tell them where the will is yeah where where it physically is right and have multiple copies so it can be found um and it's properly executed and you go to mamabearlegosform.com and you get one in 20 minutes if you don't have a complicated will uh now when you're filling this out you're going to discover the angst that that that precious lady has and that it requires thought about how life works because you're planning your death it is the it is what your will is what your will like like you have a will it's what i want to have happen that's my will upon my death my last the last thing i wanted to have happen my last will and i testify to that a testament and so then you sign it properly and it becomes a legal document the executor is not in charge they don't have free will they get to execute executor execute that's what that means they execute what is in the will that's all they they're not allowed to do anything else they're allowed to just do what you said that's all they can do so you need to be real clear about what they're supposed to do very clear in there this is what goes to that and you need to update your will anytime there's a major life change you change states because wills are not federal law probate law state law is not federal law it's state law and louisiana law is french based uh you know uh and uh you know very very different yeah we had to update ours when we moved yeah right to new state and texas is uh it still thinks it's probate yeah so texas has got weird laws california and uh florida very weird loss new york ridiculously weird laws most rest estates are fairly similar but still change your will update your well if you change if you go through a divorce obviously you know you update your will but the premise is pretty simple you are not morally or spiritually obligated to leave the work of your hands to your kin to anybody you don't want to period yeah you're not obligated to leave it to anybody and you're not a bad person if you don't do that by definition of having not done that right they're not entitled because they happen to have the same last name they're not entitled because they crossed your path somewhere um and so you know my dad's my dad's third wife got everything it's your dad's money it's your dad's money he gets to decide that maybe she was better to him than you were or maybe yeah maybe there's some issues and you got to grieve that yeah but that's not you know you don't get to decide i'm going to fight it when you're invited if you want you're going to lose yeah if the oil is put together right and you should lose because it's not his desire it's not his will that you got the money so so tell me how you think about this i may have been told by a counselor in my life that i'm hyper controlling no and i have this this which makes a great talk radio host by the best i have this fantasy about having money that i pass along and i'll be able to still pull strings and i don't even be here yeah good luck with that so there's part of me that says i'm gonna i wanna i wanna detail this sucker out and y'all are gonna x y and then there's part of me that knows the futility of that and want to say i'm raising two good kids i've got a good charities i believe whatever thing is and when i'm dead it's how do you balance that well you've got a lot more commas than zeros than i did well what you've got to remember is that when you leave money substantial money it magnifies well whoever you leave it to all they're good and all they're bad so whatever's wrong with your kid is gonna be 10x and however generous they are it's gonna be 10x 10x right same thing with that charity if they're if they're disorganized and chaotic and they get a bunch of money they're going to be 10x disorganized and chaotic they're not suddenly going to fix their deficits they're going to be magnified they weren't waiting on the extra money to clean up their act and and so uh you know whatever wherever you leave it so it's it's not necessarily a blessing and and so the extreme example we used in that call is uh you you leave a heroin addict money you're gonna kill them because they're gonna od because they can finally afford it so you don't wanna you don't wanna curse people with your money with your money but money's not the curse the curse is you've magnified whatever's wrong and whatever's right yeah and so and you're not going to find any perfect organizations or any perfect kids and you're not more spiritual if you left it to charity than if you left it inside your family you're still managing it for god if we're christians in either case and that's what we're called to do so and so how did you determine when you were doing yours how did you determine the character ethos that you wanted to wrap around this money after you're gone well i wanted them to be walking with god and that also in our world involves handling money the way we teach because it's biblical principles okay and so to the extent that they're doing that while i'm here i'm comfortable with them being there and training them that their brother or sister decides to go off the ranch and wants to live on the back of a yacht and and not work uh which is not in the bible and they'll wrap around that and hold them accountable yeah they're gonna go uh you're not getting any more money gotcha and they've got the tools to do it the way we structured the thing okay so um we're not gonna fund uh i'm not gonna name names but i mean crazy people in reality shows you put the names on them right right uh they're pitiful and i don't wanna i won't be the cause of the pitiful uh not in my lineage you know and and so but i'm not obligated to leave it to charity because humans are bad because humans run charities so this is this ridiculous people well if you were spiritual you'd leave it out of the church where some guy that doesn't know how to handle money's the pastor come on that's a bunch of crap or you raised three off the charts generous children like you have and you know that money is going to be magnified with the generosity right and if they learn their lessons then the same thing will apply as they leave it to my grandkids or their grandkids they're not going to ruin one of them because if you fund one that's off track you're going to ensure they stay off track that's what it amounts to and that's a that's one being a charity a ministry a person yeah and and so that's where you gotta look at it in her case she's saying they became socialist meaning she thinks that their uh their political view of the world is way off base and she doesn't want to fund that and she and so and she's disappointed that different yeah different ideology and so it's her money she can magnify what she wants to leave it too um conservative think tank i don't know i mean you know whatever i don't know but um whoever wherever you feel like is going to implement that but even remember then though there are people running that right and so the where the control breaks down is when we all you know the controlling from the grave the sense of control freak that you and i both share um breaks down is we realize that even having done all of that then it's still in god's hands because those kids can still just go crazy they can do what they want yeah they can come back they can go away then come back then go away you know you could leave it to a ministry and then they lose their way and they completely leave orthodoxy and go some crazy direction with their theology and you go how credit did i leave money those people it starts with a an articulation of what do you want to see this money magnify i love that yeah yeah because it's going to make it's going to magnify it loves it good discussion you guys and get your wills done people do will do a will this is the ramsey show we'll be back with you before you know it in the meantime remember there's ultimately only one way to financial peace and that's to walk daily with the prince of peace christ jesus [Music] have a friend or family member that needs a daily dose of ramsey advice in their life let them know about the ramsey call of the day podcast it's a quick hit of advice about life and money in under 10 minutes check out the ramsey call of the day podcast wherever you listen to podcasts you

Channel: The Ramsey Show - Full Episodes

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Id: iJ4ACv_hE9U

Length: 121min 25sec (7285 seconds)

Published: Thu Apr 22 2021