Do You Want To Find Balance In Your Life?

[Music] this is the ramsay show [Applause] you can be intentional about your character you can have money and a career you are the hero in your story [Music] live from the headquarters of ramsey solutions broadcasting from the dollar car rental studio this is the ramsey show and it's where america is hanging out to have a conversation about life i'm ken coleman joined by my colleague best-selling author soon to be multi-best-selling author christy wright today is the day she joins us on a very very busy day and a very important day for all of us at ramsey solution it is launch day of her brand new book take back your time the guilt-free guide to life balance so we're here together to take your calls if you're feeling squeezed you feel like you just can't spin another plate this is the hour to call in it's a free phone call triple eight eight two five five two two five triple eight eight two five five two two five of course we'll take your money questions we'll take your questions about making more money we'll take your questions about moving up advancing starting something uh it's it is open season uh but i just know that uh this issue christy um more so than ever because of access to digital all the technology that's supposed to make our life easier feels like it's just making it crazier it is and it's interesting because one of the things i've i've told people is i've been a certified business coach for over a decade and the number one question i'm asked through my coaching through speaking events you know whatever is not a business question it's this question and i'm asked it by men and women those with kids without kids kids of all ages single it doesn't matter we all struggle with feeling like we don't have enough time i just need more time i just need more time i just need to be more productive more efficient i need to multitask better i need a better app i need a better morning routine i'm going to wake up earlier stay to play we try all that and we're exhausted ken and we don't feel any more balanced and so i wanted to tackle this issue that's a major pain point for everyone i know first of all but also it's a pain point in my own life with three little kids like i get it and i think that the the solution is something different than more productivity and more efficiency i think that we have a root issue going on um and i think we need to tackle it there if we're gonna solve the problem from coming up again and again in the same way and so that's why i love the tagline the guilt-free guide to life balance so many people walk around every day feeling like they're failing and they're not and so i want to help him there as i've talked to you about the book watching you write it watching you develop the content over time speaking about it coaching folks feels like to me that it's it's really about priority we have so much hard time deciding between priorities i think this book gives the back story it gives the foundation for what really is the problem it's not time management yes well and the way that i say it is this is not just about the calendar it's about enjoying the life that the calendar represents and so um to your point so so a lot of people that i work with are women and a lot of people i work with are creatives this book is not just for women and creatives by any means but i think one thing that that those two groups of people have in common or really anyone that has a lot of interests multi-interested people is we tend to treat everything as if it's created equally and so our to-do list our calendar we can't make decisions between a yes here and a no there because it all feels equally important and it's not uh you know is it petroglyn trinity that said if everything's important nothing is and so i don't tell you in this book what is important but i do what i believe good coaches do which i ask you a lot of questions that bring that awareness to you for yourself for you to decide hey here's what matters to me in the season and then i show you tactical steps to align your time with those things and it turns out that when you do the right things at the right time you actually feel that sense of balance that you've been looking for but i want to help you discern what really matters right now from all the other junk that's coming at you all the time because we all have a lot of stuff coming at us and i want to help you sift through that and discern what's most important so you can spend time on those things she is christie wright i'm ken coleman with ramsey personalities and we are your hosts this hour here on the ramsay show the new book that we're talking about is take back your time the guilt-free guide to life balance it hits the market today in fact nut hits it's already out there it's going and uh of course ramsay solutions.com everywhere books are sold can i tell you something exciting this is very exciting it's at target oh yeah i heard it high five on the air because tyler your brand leader told me this this is a big deal so let me just say this this is very exciting head to target your local neighborhood target to get christy wright's book take back your time this is huge because people may not realize this but it's very hard to get in target target is also my target market one of my favorite stores and i haven't been able to talk about it all have you been to your local target yes this morning first thing and i screamed and ran did you buy all the copies no but i did i did sign them so if you're in nashville i'll tell you about the target that's fine but this lady was walking by when i was in the parking lot and i was screaming at target and she walked by she said i've never seen anyone so excited to go and target in my life yeah well let me tell you why ma'am i know it's a huge win it's a huge deal i've had to keep it top secret until today but if you go to your local target it's on an end cap right there in the book section and man that just felt like a huge i'm gonna i don't know if i need to run by target tonight james but if i might uh ask stacey on the way home babe you need me to pick anything up and i'll head on over there and uh maybe i'll pose beside the end cap there it is you should have bought every copy and then stood in line at the register and everybody that came by goes hey i'm just gonna bless you with this just cause it causes a scene a little bit of a fun scene that's really exciting yeah so anywhere books are sold but yeah we were pretty excited because today's the first day i can announce that it is in targets all over the country and so you can go get your copy today and uh and and if you do you know tag me on social media i'd love to share it at chris tv right it's just fun to celebrate that that's a big deal people may not realize it but that's a big deal that's a huge deal um i want to stay in the content for just a second because i think something you said a minute ago i think makes me ask the question is one of the root causes of the stuff you're taking on in this book take back your time is it that we just have a hard time displeasing somebody when in all reality we're not displeasing them but we think we got to do this we think we got to do this we think we got to do this we think we got to do this and it's at some point it's like there's only so much you can do and i keep you you've got this i think the bumper sticker amazing truth in this entire book which is chock full of wisdom and knowledge is doing the right thing at the right time and i think that we struggle with that as humans yes we do what's interesting is why it's multifaceted it's not just one thing like oh if i solve this one variable this will fix all my problems because there's actually several factors at play so for example let's just talk about the people policing aspect of it and many people struggle with this they struggle with saying i think that's a huge problem we don't want to you know we want to be liked and all that well there's the one element of okay let's look at one facet one facet is we really do want to help we really do want to help people so someone needs us we want to help there's that one obvious piece the second piece of it if you're if you're a person of faith then you feel called to help you feel like hey i've got to help i'm commanded to help so there's this deeper you know faith aspect of it the third one that i think that we don't talk about enough or even are willing to acknowledge enough and i hit on this in the book is there is a there is an aspect of our own insecurity that drives us to do things and say yes to things that are not right for us not because we're just so loving and helpful even though that is a piece of it but because we are trying to earn our place in the world we are trying to beat enough we we think we are our calendar our to-do list our productivity and so i heard someone say years ago there's a difference between doing something to be loving and doing it to be loved and if we're willing to get honest with ourselves that's good some of us are trying to earn love because it's a deep insecurity in us but what i tell people is the black hole of insecurity can't be fixed by just doing more you've got to solve this at the root issue no amount of task on your to-do list is going to fix it wow that's good folks the motive all right the new book is take back your time the guilt free guide to life balance available wherever books are sold but especially on the end cap at your neighborhood target go get it for chrissy wright but more importantly get it for you don't move your calls coming up this is the ramsay show [Music] what makes our show unique is that we genuinely care about our listeners we're intentional about choosing the best advertisers to recommend blinds.com is no exception they offer high quality window treatments at unbelievable prices and they make it simple to shop blinds shades and interior shutters with easy online ordering free shipping and a guaranteed perfect fit go to blinds.com and take advantage of this week's special savings [Music] so [Music] welcome back to the ramsay show i'm ken coleman joined by my co-host and colleague christy wright she is the best-selling author of business boutique and now soon to be the best-selling author of take back your time the guilt-free guide to life balance it's launch day so i'm going to talk about it a lot if you don't like it i'm sorry that i'm talking about good things um if you don't want to hear i'm sorry you don't want to be happy i'm sorry i'm sorry i'm sorry you don't want to grow you don't want to be successful i'm sorry i'm going to talk about good things i don't apologize on the ken coleman show when i talk about good things i'm not going to apologize here but anyway we're very excited as a company congratulations my friend thank you thank you very very exciting day but we are here for you triple eight eight two five five two two five the questions that you've come to know and to listen to you can ask for yourself chris and i are gonna help you we enjoy being together uh you got two coaches so let's go triple eight eight two five 825-5225 let's start it off in miami florida nestor is there nestor how can we help hi ken how's it going um thank you guys so much for taking my call um so my my question for you guys is um right now i'm i'm getting married i'm planning to get married in october um and so far um everything's been set and so um i'm wondering uh because i come to work about an hour and so i spend a lot on gas and on tolls um and uh but the only kind of down or upside is that you know like in the field that i'm in i'm in the mental health field um at my job there's a lot of growth opportunities and so i'm wondering should i try to find something better that has like better growth opportunities closer to home or should i um just stay where i'm at and kind of like reap the benefits of all that i think it's i think it's either or i think whatever door opens here i mean this is not to me a choice between one or the other it's sure look for something closer to where you're going to be living and if you can find a better ladder than you currently have great take it but you're also in a place right now where you have a nice ladder there's plenty of opportunity for growth where you are so i wouldn't be antsy uh i i got to tell you now this is me i like christy weighing on this but a lot of this to be honest with you this is just ken coleman personal preference so don't take this as advice i'm just going to tell you how i'm wired if i'm in a place where i've got a ladder of opportunity as you have stated and it's in the field i want to be in and it's about the commute and i get to choose where i want to live ultimately i'm going to do everything i can to move a little bit closer you're starting out a new chapter of life i don't know if your bride-to-be is open to this but i'm just telling you that's what i would be considering first and foremost however i'd always be looking always be looking you know i mean i tell people in the ken coleman all the time you know i get this call a lot christie hey ken i've been with this company two years they've been really really good to me um i've had a good opportunity here but i got another opportunity that's better but i feel bad i feel bad absolutely you know you shouldn't feel bad you don't even feel bad yeah i mean you don't break a contract don't do anything that's not full of integrity and character but the reality is why should you feel bad about taking a great opportunity for yourself so that's my take on it nestor christy anything you'd add to that yeah no what i love about your question nestor is you have a few good options that's a great call i i get discouraged when we get the calls of like hey i hate my job i hate my boss i need the paycheck you're kind of feel a little painted in a corner and you're trying to you're trying to get out quickly you're not trying to get out quickly it's great to keep your options open look around you could look to move or look for jobs closer to you or you could stay where you are and make the commute you just you have great options and that's a really good place to be yeah so take the best option again you know research research research always be looking always be considering always be measuring and weighing and i think you're going to make a great choice by the way congratulations on the yeah upcoming nuptials by the way there's a word we don't say enough no i love a good word and the word nuptials you love a good unused word i like to bring some words i like to dust off a good word there it is boise idaho is where we go next michael is there michael how can we help hey ken and kristy thanks for taking my call sir um i uh just had a annual review of my work and it went really well but my raise wasn't quite where i wanted to be um or where it really needs to be so i'm i'm feeling kind of underpaid for the industry um and so i want to go to my boss and uh you know negotiate a raise with him but i'm not really sure the best way to do it i had kind of two two ways in mind as one of your opinion on which which way you think would sort of go over better um yeah hit me with a quick summary yeah give us uh the two ideas you had and give us the quick version and we'll weigh in on it okay so the first one i thought was really um just going to him explaining why i need to make more why i think i should be making more and working on him on how i can get there what needs to be done um which the reason i don't really want to do that is because it kind of feels like it puts me in a corner where then either if he says no then i'm kind of like well it sort of sours that working relationship and then i'm i'm kind of it's awkward so michael the way the reason you feel that way is because you're feeling is absolutely right that we're gonna go ahead and kill idea number one that's awful it puts you in a corner the way you chose to say that is absolutely right so that's not a good option what's the second one so the other option is there's there's lots of hiring um in my field in the area and they're paying anywhere from six to eight dollars more an hour um and so i was my other option was to go and actually apply for those interview if i need to and see if i get any offer letters and then once i have an offer letter go back to them and say hey i have an offer from this other company here's what they're paying you know before i go work for them can you match that yeah i i don't mind that option at all but i would just add a my own option a since we struck your a um and that's this you just recently had the meeting uh how long ago was it we're talking 48 hours a week about you about two weeks ago okay um three weeks ago i would have preferred for you to sat on you know to sit on it for about you know two nights max i i would have in that situation you can still do this go back in and go hey listen uh i'm really grateful for the bump because you did get a bump you just didn't get the bump that you wanted ten percent yeah yep so i go back in and go hey listen thank you for the bump um i'm grateful to be here because i think that's true i want to be here long term i did some homework because when you gave me the bump i didn't want to assume anything so i went did some homework and i would present the homework at that time i would present and this has got to be this isn't like a couple comments uh in the comments section of glassdoor this is real market research that shows someone of your experience and your position what the market is bearing and you would need to sit down and show them that go listen because you gave me the bump i'm appreciative but i went and looked at it and i because i was curious and this is where i sit based on what i do and the experience level i bring the table um would you be willing to take it up to this point because i feel like um i feel like that's something that you should at least consider you're humble about it you just go hey would you consider not don't say what i just said sorry i was formulated just say look i would i would ask you to consider this information i've done the research on what someone someone gets i am grateful for what you gave me but i would like to be in this range see what you're saying there is i would like there's no demand there's no i deserve i should let's remove any of that language because what you don't want to do is put your leader on the defensive you want your leader to go oh uh michael's uh a very well informed person and went and looked and uh you know what he gave me something to think about and then it's almost like what can i do to get to this number because here's why you're doing this michael you want to see where the leader's position is on paying you that comp do they think that you uh in their mind deserve what the market says you should be getting i want to know that i want to know where i stand well and one of the things i would i would jump in here ken one of the things i learned from you years ago even but you may not remember this even before you worked on our team here at ramsay you did a devotional for us but you talked about the importance of asking questions and michael when you ask questions i learned this straight from ken coleman right beside me it demonstrates not only interest and engagement it demonstrates humility so when you ask a question you're taking a posture of humility in what can be an awkward conversation so i might even ask something as you present the research and say hey can you help me understand why my position and my my comp does not match what the industry standard is or what the comps are out there or the value that i bring based on my production all your employer cares about is market uh what's what's comp in the market and what value you're bringing they don't care what you need so we're going to focus on the facts like ken said of what's standard in the market and what you bring to it but you can ask that as a question like hey help me understand help me understand why i am here and this is what's going on there and then and then that will lead to a great discussion i think yeah just guard putting them on the defensive that's what you don't want to do and here's the deal if you're going to go shop other jobs and they give you an offer you better be ready to leave because doing that as a negotiation tactic i think is a bad move yeah it's good you got to be willing to go it's true so don't go in there with a tactic and then fold oh that'd be dangerous all right folks don't move before you know it chrissy wright and i will be right back this is the ramsay show [Music] [Music] welcome back to the ramsay show i'm ken coleman joined by my colleague christy wright thrilled to have you with us triple eight eight two five five two two five do you feel like you're constantly running but nothing you do ever moves the needle in your money in your life well that's normal and normal is frustrating and exhausting but you can live the life you want when you're debt-free where you actually have breathing room in your time and your money but you gotta have a game plan and that's why we at ramsey solutions want you to join us for game plan live this is a free live stream on september the 28th dave ramsey christy wright and george campbell will help you set the foundation that makes all your goals possible you don't have to settle for a life of normal get the plan they get you where you want to be to register for this game changing event game plan live text game plan to 33789 that's game plan all one word three three seven eight nine text thank you for taking gamepl call you bet what's going on today teresa this is for you ken maybe well christy you can jump in too i'm sure she might appreciate um what do you do when you're you're calling your passion is in a field that doesn't pay what you need to make to pay your monthly bills all right tell me more what's the calling what's the feeling okay it's it's the dogs at the animal shelter and the humane society i volunteer every chance i get i work full time but they make me so happy i mean and i want to i want to work there but i ask them if they have openings and they say sure pays ten dollars an hour oh okay i just wish i could be there all the time and make a living all right so open the dog okay i got it all right all right chris and i are gonna put our heads together i'm feeling pretty confident we can come up with something but i need to know what is make a living give me a number what do you need to make well right now i'm making about 34 000 a year it's a it's a humble job and but i don't hate it what's the job i'm a courier i drive around all day for a medical lab okay great um how much research have you done into uh the field of pet care let's just call it pet care i know you love dogs but there's probably some other animals you love too yes or no yes yeah just generally you love animals so yeah so what we've got to figure out theresa is how do we make more money than 10 an hour let's just keep the bar really low but what if theresa what if you stayed in this courier job which you don't hate and it's a pretty stable job and we could add maybe 10 15 000 over the next 12 months to the 34 and you're loving on dogs how would you feel about that if we just added 10 to 15 000 as a side hustle or a part-time job to what you already make how would you feel about that i would be very very happy great do you believe that you can do that teresa yes or no be honest i've thought about it ken and i can't come up with anything and keep my full-time job what's your hours as the courier okay i clock in at 9 30 a.m and i get off at 6 30 p.m the good news is i've got christie right next to me who is an idea factory along with me and between the two of us it's combustible christy i'm having a hard time believing teresa i think there's some side stuff on the weekend taking care of animals checking on animals maybe at night boarding some dogs overnight i think there's a way for her to get started where she may not see it what do you think yeah it's interesting because when you start to brainstorm theresa how you can do what you want to do what you're excited about in lots of different ways then you realize there are multiple paths to get to this place where you're doing what you love and making money doing it let's just throw out one for example one that we haven't talked about um what would it look like to meet your end goal of being with animals like ken's talking about and not necessarily through the shelter where you started a side business of a doggy day care of a dog walking dog care dog whatever there's multiple ways to look at this for example and i remember someone calling in the ramsay show years ago and they said i really want to be a teacher but i can't live on a teacher's salary and dave said well i'm a teacher there's a lot of ways to be a teacher you don't have to be a teacher in a school so just just a zoom out teresa i want you to zoom out and i just got a challenge for you i want you to write down every possible iteration every version of ways to make money doing what you love that do not include the shelter some of them will be good ideas some won't be good ideas some will make money some won't some you could do part-time full-time on the side your own business working for someone else i just want you to make a list of as many ideas you can think of and i guarantee you there's at least 20 ways to be with animals and make good money and that's just at your first draft of this list okay so theresa here's the deal chris is absolutely right i need you to stop thinking about an opportunity at the current spca they're very limited okay what you've got to be thinking about as and listen i know the chattanooga area it's a great area surrounding areas okay now listen i don't know if you've looked up what it costs to board a dog but it's big dollars there are pet hotels there there are pet stores that may have a part-time job here's what i want you to grasp okay i wrote a book a couple years ago called the proximity principle all right now here's what it says teresa i want you to grab this in order to do what you want to do all right work with dogs you got to be around people that are doing that and in places where it is happening you've only been to the spca as my colleague christy accurately pointed out you're limiting your entire perspective to the spca as opposed to who's making the bucks boarding dogs all over the greater chattanooga area come on teresa you ought to have a list of three to five of those before you go to bed tonight yes wow yes yes i i never thought about it i know that's why you called but listen now now listen here's the rest of it i also got to get around people not just places so those are the places but it's not enough to just get a list of places and then start applying no no no no no no you want to start to ask yourself all right now that i've got a list of five dog hotels whatever oh let me tell you something theresa don't even forget the people that come out to your house i've got a gal that comes out and and takes care of ellis the golden doodle once a month and she comes up to our door gets ellis takes him to the van spends an hour and a half with him and comes back in a brand new dog she's killing it in a van no she's not killing the dog right and she's not in a van down by the river either right she's really she's really killing it so here's the deal i want you to think about who do i know teresa i want you to ask this question after you get your list of three to five maybe seven i want you to think who do i know in my life that's close personal connections uh family friends now let's go acquaintances my kids play soccer my kids do this my kids do that i go to church with these people i'm over here in the bunko club what it is everybody i know do they do those people know anybody that works at any of those organizations now we begin to dial in oh you know somebody over there yeah i know somebody over at paws and claws great can i have coffee with them yeah i'll set it up for you and the next thing you know you're meeting people that are working in that space and so now theresa you're top of mind the first time they have a college kid quit on them and they need somebody to pick up 20 hours your answer right now is abso freaking legally i'll be there and now theresa here's the path i get in i get in and then i think about moving up but see you're trying you're treating this whole transition as an all or nothing i'm leaving courier to go full-time dogs and that's rarely how it happens so i hope that encourages you you know exactly what to do now there's no excuse let's listen to both of our books we'll send you proximity principle and business boutique and and ken's going to help you exactly what he said in proximity principle being in the places and it's very nice and then business boutique if you just started start a side gig doing this business boutique will be the plan you'll have both will come from from both i gotta add one thing okay she needs your new book take back your time because what what we just prescribed to her is a lot of work she's gonna she's gonna feel a little frazzled she's gonna need some time send her all the things theresa you're getting a whole bunch of things you're getting a sweet business boutique case you want to start that doggy daycare on the side christy will tell you how take back your time this will help you stay sane in the midst of this hustle season and then the proximity principle the ultimate secret to connections which lead to opportunities there you go oh my goodness folks this is why you call the show you never know how much free goodies you're gonna get we i mean we just we love giving away dave's stuff we do we're very generous with this thing yeah very i have a spiritual gift of giving away all the ramsay solutions resources all right don't move more of the ramsey show coming up just around the corner [Music] [Music] [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] welcome back america you are listening to the ramsay show i'm ken coleman joined by my colleague christy wright today's a big day for christy and for the entire company because her latest book take back your time the guilt-free guide two life balance is out everywhere books are sold ramsay solutions.com tons of great stuff for bundles but as she announced earlier in the hour it's a big deal nobody uh besides dave uh to my knowledge has ever been in target and she is at the old target uh in your local neighborhood uh in cap and everything yeah so big deal i think it would be fun i did not talk to christy about this ahead of time but uh i don't need to i think uh if you're christy wright fan like me you know what you need to do you got to make a trip to your local target even if it's to get some anti-back wipes because we always need more of those and take a picture beside the old end cap and uh tag christy at christybright yep uh on insta yes uh that'll be fun it will be fun that would just lift your heart wouldn't it it would it makes it so real man we love target i gotta get there i'm gonna do it i'm gonna do it i'm gonna do it i gotta get out there i don't know if it'll be tonight yeah it's taco tuesday we have football practice and many things sure but i'm going to get out there by the end cap and i'm going to post it so go to target for your copy of the book and then just do what you always do we just spend 200 worth of other things we don't actually need which is what we all do or oh good call oh you know what i just realized a great marketing for a toothbrush and come out with something instead of buying all the things you don't need there you go buy three copies of your book okay i like i like where your head's at ken i appreciate it two to somebody else you got christmas gifts i don't know just carry them around and you see the frazzled mom yeah guys here ma'am i think you need yes yep just read this you know like it's like it's a devotional just kind of hand it out here just just read this there you go i think you need this yeah fun stuff all right the phone number is triple eight eight two five five two two five triple eight eight two five five two two five uh we're taking your calls on everything money we'll take it on the life balance and time will take it on hey uh my work can i wanna do work that i love but also make a bunch of money i want to make more money i want to get that shovel bigger so i can get out of debt faster get through the baby steps faster we'll take all of those calls and jason joins us now in orlando florida jason how can we help hey first off it's great to talk to both you guys how you guys doing oh we're having a blast what's going on did you hear that chrissy's in target jake i don't feel like we've talked about it enough yeah that's all right what's going on um my my question for you guys um we're on baby step two we're about six months into our journey um my big concern is with our house we're looking at possibly replacing the ac unit within a year or so so that's a cost that's going to be in the forefront and my wife is from england uh so we're actually planning a trip to go next year to england for her uh her brother's wedding um for the three of us so that's going to be a trip that i was going to be going to and my biggest question is with breaking down to only a thousand dollars in this emergency fund how do we plan these trips how do we put things on pause to plan for this vacation uh slash wedding next year how do we plan our ac unit hopefully i'm gonna be replaced soon uh just makes us a little bit nervous drop it down to only that thousand yeah well well i understand that and here's the way that you're gonna approach something like an ac unit or even obviously a family wedding which is a really big deal is it's exactly like you just said jason you're going to pause paying extra on your debts and you're just going to stockpile cash but i do want to encourage you just because you're pausing the baby steps temporarily in your stockpiling cash so that you can cash flow your ac unit and you can cash flow this family member's wedding and that type of thing we're not going to use this as an excuse to just have a big time and spend thousands of extra dollars on this trip just keep in mind you're still broke you're still in debt and i don't say that to make you feel bad i say that to lighter fire under you go okay how can we get this ac unit get a really good deal make it last as long as we can before we replace it and so on how can we make this trip for our family in the wedding you know in another country on a budget how can we be resourceful and not see this as a vacation where we're just going to splurge and stay at the nice place oh we're on vacation people people kind of lose their minds on vacation like oh i can just money is free on vacation and then they make dumb decisions i just as long as you keep in check hey these are two necessary expenses we're going to cash flow them so we don't go into debt for them and we're going to get right back on track with baby step two whenever we cash flow them and and by the way if you know budget for what you need for the ac unit get multiple quotes from vendors find a good deal that is fair figure out your timing of when you absolutely really need it and then save that amount of money same thing for the trip price that out what are flights where are you going to stay what do you need for that once you get that amount of money jason you're right back in baby step two even if you don't need the ac unit or the um i haven't gone on that trip for the wedding yet so we're not gonna we're not gonna just keep piling cash above and beyond what we need get realistic with what you need for both of those save that amount of cash so you can cash flow them when they happen and then you are right back into baby step two and it is a small setback from the progress on your on your baby steps and becoming debt free but these are necessary and that's the big distinction that we try to help people understand saving for um having a baby when you're pregnant or saving for you lost a job so there's things that yeah you save for a car we don't want you going to debt so you need to stockpile some cash for those things but just the amount that you really need so jason i'm curious about the health of the hvac ac unit how bad is it has someone looked at it and said this thing's going to go at some point soon i'd like to know more about this i have a method to my madness what's this i'm curious that's right um so we moved into the house just over four years ago and it was something on the inspection that was a hey this is kind of on its way out make sure to keep an eye on it um and then we just had it break down about three or four months ago and it was a look to where um we got lucky it was just a small clog in the drain but the insides are broken to the point where nobody's actually going to work on it because they're worried about it going to puts on uh so nobody's going to touch it and when it eventually goes it's going to go uh so they expected the the device is from like 2000 or 2002. yeah and in 40 years that's a lot of years for a unit gotcha okay so you've done your homework yeah so okay that's really good but here's where i was going with this i would go ahead and stack the money up and go ahead and do it but i'm the guy who tries to get the money stacked up but still lets the sucker run until it dies that's what we're doing replace it now ours is going out we just keep putting more coolant in it until it's literally dead until like you know so getting that thing in the parking garage that's right so jason i just wanted to make sure you've done your homework i think that you've got a couple of opinions on that so you know so my point is while you're saving everything chrissy said to spot on i just want you to go sometimes these people scare us and these home inspectors oh my goodness i listen i know some home inspectors they do really thorough work but their job is to be thorough and find everything wrong and i'm the guy who goes okay so you're telling me this is gonna die pretty soon yes sir mr coleman that's what i'm telling you okay do you have any idea when it's going to die of course not could be six months could be a year and a half great so you're saying there's a chance yeah it's so cool i'm not replacing it until it's dead so i'm gonna work hard to have the money saved up that's right uh but i'm gonna let that baby go go and go and go and go we've we've honestly been doing that at our house for about a year and a half like really yeah you and matt are out there with the old coolant and you're just like we just keep putting why not i think how much does a jug of coolant go forward no idea but i'll tell you i think next year's the year we really have to replace it but it's the same concept this is not like a uh used car where you're like okay i want to re have some resale value that type of strategy which you could justify this ac unit like you're going to run it into the ground until it is dead and you can't even pray it back to life and then you get a new one like you get every mile out of it as you get especially when you're in debt especially when you're like i've got to scrape by to save up this to cash flow it you you don't let's to your point don't let someone come and go oh you need a new one you're like oh i got to get a new one and then you get the cadillac of ac you know you don't have the money you got to be careful because listen i i can't i'll give you a story a a really uh recent story so we had our air ducts cleaned all right this is a thing you don't think about much no let's get the air ducts i've never thought of that oh really it's really good it's good for you okay great yeah uh but they'll come in until i'm at work the guy comes does all the stuff looks at it gives stacey a quote you know and he's like he's got three or four things that i've never heard of himself sure and it sounds like if we don't do it right you're probably gonna we're gonna die in our sleep yeah and it's just so extreme and so over the top i'm like uh okay thanks uh tell you what let me think about it so i call my father-in-law who happens to be a home contractor a builder yeah he's like yeah you don't need that that that or that yeah but the way it sounded it was as if we were breathing in toxic air uh on steroids yeah so just be careful don't let people scare you get multiple opinions multiple quotes and then save up for it so there you go all right hey i want to thank our producer james childs our associate producer and call greater kelly daniel my colleague christy wright congrats on launch day take back any time the guilt-free guide to life balance go get it everywhere books are sold or it's your neighborhood target but mostly we want to thank you america we do this show for you this is the ramsey show [Music] have a friend or family member that needs a daily dose of ramsay advice in their life let them know about the ramsey call of the day podcast it's a quick hit of advice about life and money in under 10 minutes check out the ramsey call of the day podcast wherever you listen to podcasts [Music] this is the ramsay show [Music] you can be intentional about your character you can have money and a career you are the hero in your story [Music] live from the headquarters of ramsey solutions broadcasting from the dollar car rental studio this is the ramsey show it's where america hangs out to have a conversation about your life we're talking real stories real men and women hopeful practical steps forward to being and doing who you're supposed to be what you're supposed to do money work relationships i'm ken coleman joined by my colleague dr john delaney we are together this hour taking your calls triple eight eight two five five two two five so uh doc let's set the table shall we uh we can do a little dr john dolone show we'll talk about mental health emotional health marriage issues we'll talk about ooh how about this one toxic workplace garbage oh john and i want to crappy leaders that are making you consider changing your entire career lane is that necessary uh the emotional junk at work john and i love to team up on that because that's his area in the area of mental and emotional health i'm over here in the area of purpose and doing what you were created to do of course we'll take your money questions relationship questions uh here's one been getting a lot of traffic james the producers telling me uh people asking questions hey ken my company is going to mandate the vaccine for various reasons i don't want to do it that means i might lose my job i'm expecting to lose my job what do i do i'm getting that call regularly on the ken coleman show does that come to you on the doctor yeah so john and i uh can help you with that because that is not just a that's not a work career question that there's there's all kinds of stuff there there's the emotional the mental duress the financial decisions you got to make this is a tough choice that's being uh brought your way so we'll take those questions here's what we're not going to do we're going to get into a political argument over it we're going to help you navigate the future the steps ahead so we're opening it up it's about you we're here for you triple eight eight two five five two two five let's start it off with tyler who joins us now in salt lake city utah tyler how can we help hey john hey ken thanks so much for taking my question you bet what's up um so i'm 22 years old and i'm working full time right now and then doing school online and i'm at the point in school where i should really be deciding and locking in on a career or a focus on what i'm setting and going into but at this point in time i'm really not sure i can't really navigate which path i like to go to go down or what career i like to go into so my question is how should i go about deciding that and then how much should i really um allow money to influence that decision of how much i'll be making in that career yeah so money matters let me just start with that but i would never let the amount of money that i could make be the ultimate decision maker is it a part of the decision yes but not the ultimate decision maker and i'll start with this tyler i can't tell you how many phone calls i've taken on the ken coleman show here on the ramsay show where somebody has taken a promotion because it was a lot of money and it was a big bump and then they got over there and they realized man i'm miserable and that happens all the time the data that's out there on wall street millionaires that are really good at their job and making a killing and they're miserable and as a result they're moving into depression they're moving into addiction all kinds of i'm going to tell you something you got to love the work or at some point if you don't love your day job you better have a side job or a hobby that's very very meaningful to you you got to have some purpose in what you're contributing so uh i would consider what your options are from a pay standpoint but never let it be the deciding factor so let's get practical uh you're in school you're in a major i'm guessing you have a couple of ideas as it relates to paths that you're considering what are those give me that give me the ones that are the the most exciting to you right now you spend the most time thinking about um well something in the in the business realm um whether that's starting a company or or my girlfriend's father is an accountant so something around that that area doesn't sound super exciting but something that i potentially might be going into but like i said i'm still kind of trying to decipher oh yeah i get it but tyler i gotta ask you why did you go into school what was something that you thought you know what this could be exciting work has there ever been a point where you said you know what as i look to my future and i wonder a little bit what did you wonder about what have you won well i was originally going into school for psychology to be i want to be a counselor like a therapist why because i do love the love to help people and i'm pretty good at listening and um and try and give them good advice or help them understand their situation better have you moved on from that um i think the i only did because the school down the road kind of the extra school kind of threw me off yeah but hold on a second let's pause that what was the driving reason behind your interest in psychology and helping people specifically the problems that people have that draw you in that led you that direction anything from your personal journey or observation experience yeah i would say probably experience are you comfortable sharing that um yeah so i i actually um my mom had me see a counselor growing up just with family matters with um siblings and family in and out of different treatment centers and everything yeah and i think just having as a child growing up having someone to talk to and not only to listen to you but to you know help you navigate um through you know whatever craziness you're going through yeah you had somebody in that role that still means a lot to you yeah yeah definitely so let me oversimplify this if i could fast forward the schooling necessary to be a professional licensed counselor i want john to jump in here that's his training but if i could fast forward that process money time you didn't have to go into debt to do it how high up the ladder would that be as your choice would you even be calling me right now yeah um definitely not you wouldn't be calling no why um because i think that that ending destination point is um you know ultimately where i want to be and i think it's the the journey the long journey together is kind of well all right so i want to turn it over to my colleague who knows a little something about the journey and john you can you can steer him there it's not as long and not as expensive as he thinks how old are you man i'm 22. so here's the question you have to ask yourself when i'm 27 which you're going to be do you want to be 27 and working for your father-in-law as a miserable accountant or do you want to be a licensed counselor because you're going to be 27 either way and you're either going to take a journey here's what you have to do you have to choose your heart do you want to choose a challenging and i hope it is rigorous and challenging i want counselors that are well trained it's going to be challenging it's going to be hard it's going to push you and you're going to accomplish it and you're going to achieve it because you love it or do you want the heart of working for your father-in-law moving spreadsheets around and watching your soul be sucked out of your chest into the spreadsheet you're looking at go to school for what you want to do and go help a whole community of people yes get better we need you man tyler you said if you knew you could do it quickly and easily you wouldn't even have called us go do what your heart is pounding for you to do and hang on the line kelly let's give him a copy of debt free degree let's give him some resources to show him how he can get that counseling degree do with the cash flow without debt and help people that are hurting love you tyler this is the ramsay show [Music] stop paying your overpriced wireless provider and switch to puretalk they use the same network as the larger providers for much less for just 30 dollars a month get unlimited talk text and six gigs of data with no contract the average family saves over 70 dollars a month by switching to pure top just go to puretalk.com and enter the promo code ramsey to save 50 off your first month pure talk simply smarter wireless [Music] welcome back to the ramsay show america thrilled to have you with us i'm ken coleman joined by my colleague dr john delony we're taking your calls about money we're taking your calls about your work hey you want to make more money you want to move john this is very interesting um i'll share this a little bit later i'll tell you what i'll tease this james i'm going to pull it up and then the corners are right coming up i'm going to give you some new data about how many americans is going to blow your mind are actually considering changing jobs it's a striking number i'll just tease that and leave it alone and uh we'll get to that and hey it's fascinating we're going to talk about it on the back end of that there's some really important psychology on the back of it yeah i want to talk about let's get into that that'll be that'll be good i'm really excited to get your take on it i mean because here's what i can tell you the pandemic has led to all of this it's it's i can't wait for you to just shook the snow globe well the numbers have expanded dramatically from where they've been for probably the better part of a decade so we'll get to that cool uh that's gonna be a fun conversation so we'll take your calls triple eight eight two five five two two five hey you got some relationship stuff uh some mental emotional health i mean how many out there have just been burning at both ends and you feel like you got nothing left in the tank or you feel like you and your spouse are great co-managers ooh i like this one but the spark has left the building how about the co-worker that has got you to the point where you feel like you can't come back into the office yeah stealing your joy that's how i feel when it when you're with me that's right yeah all right so john and i are going to actually talk about it together that's also going to be we're going to have a relational debrief here uh we'll take those calls so we'd be thrilled to talk with you triple eight eight two five five two two five let's go to drew now in monterey california drew you're on the excuse me jeez there's a freudian slip i've done that before have you done that yet it's not freudian but it's not freudian what is that slip just your habit yeah yeah yeah you're on the ramsay show there you go the actual show we're on today drew how can i help how you guys doing we're doing good what's up um i'm just wondering how i should determine how much i should take a position for there's a 20 000 gap just say like 50 to 70 a year or 60 to 80. and i'm just trying to determine how much i should ask for well give me a little okay so i heard the 50 to 70 and the 60 to 80. help me out a little bit more have you actually been offered the position um well it's just a few positions i'm trying to figure out which one i'm going to take but it's my dilemma is just uh taking a number i guess when they really ask something that's going to benefit me because it's a 20 minute drive and it's i work in agriculture so there's usually overtime and gotcha a long day so i'm just trying to wonder how much okay so i'm very young i'm out of college so okay and and one more quick question and i'm going to give you something to think through are all these positions that you're applying for are you actively applying are you just considering have some of these been offered what's the status that you're looking at um actively applying and i have two offers right now okay so let's talk in terms of the two offers are both of those two offers are they are very similar position yeah okay great have you done your homework it sounds like you have uh on the range of salary for somebody of your experience in those jobs um yeah i have it's kind of tough uh because some people get paid that with no experience i mean no education just experience right and you've got some education yeah i want to say it's somewhere in between but okay so let's just give me the number that it's in between give me a give me a range okay 50 to 70. so i'm thinking like i would really like to get 65 knowing it's like i'm gonna have to do some overtime and got it okay yes okay so here's how we simplify this if your goal is 65 you'd be really happy with 65. so what we look at as we go up go ahead yeah go no no go ahead sorry well if we're going to be really pleased with 65 and you would be happy with 65 yes um i mean i'd really be happy with 80. i mean the more money the better yeah you would drew we got to deal in reality young man okay you're really really young so let me put this a different way if the range is 50 to 70 and you're straight out of college with very little experience you need to be realistic yeah yeah i have four years though four years i'm sorry position yeah i'm sorry too i lift some stuff up the position requires like a couple things i don't have like spanish and uh really that's it okay well hold on a second brother if it requires spanish and you don't have it how are we gonna get the gig how have they offered it well like i usually have no problem communicating with uh people who speak speak spanish i'm i know a little bit of spanish i'm not fluent though okay drew i wouldn't hire you just so you know you'd come ask for money and i would say yeah i'm so confused as to how you got offered the job when they're requiring spanish i so let's just start it here's the general advice for anybody who is looking at a range of salary let's just keep it simple all right when there's a range 50 to 70. and i love this as a real life example you've got to look at the data out there that shows what the average is for somebody of your experience you said four years i believe so you want to look at that and let's just say that that's in the 58 to 60 range i think i think you could go a little bit above that in the asking but i wouldn't go much right because i think if you do that um you're you're running the risk of missing a really good opportunity and when you're young and it sounds like he is i didn't get into the family responsibilities but i'm looking at the number that for me is bottom basement where i'm going to feel yucky if i'm being realistic there's the big asterisk john gotta be realistic i'm young four and four years into the world okay but i've got this number where i go that's going to feel bad so i'm not going to do that but i'm also not going to give them this high number so whatever that number is you got to decide on this is my walk away number and then you can go a little bit above that don't go to the high range because if you're looking at the range 50 to 70 and you've looked up in the evidence says it's about 58 is what people are making don't ask for 65 right i'm okay with 60. well in some of those ranges are a range that's the whole point yeah john i love the law of averages there's something there well and my tendency is i see 50 to 70 and i think you know what i am ken i'm a snowflake i probably deserve 75. and that's what he said basically and then i spend it in my head yeah and then they come in and offer me 56 which is a stretch for them yeah and i feel like you're ripping me off right and by the way the 56 is right in line yeah so you've got here's the point do your homework on what the real averages are for somebody that has your level of experience and what about the other side where you got to know how much money you need to bring in as well well there's no question that's what i'm saying the first thing we do before we ever do and can i take this job before we ever do our range research we basically say this is the bottom level so for you and i we've got a wife and kids you and i've got a number we're going no matter what we're doing this is the number i gotta make and so we start there yeah and so a young man like this who wants to go into this kind of field and he's got all these different options you don't have to take your first option either but don't price yourself out now what's interesting john about this particular job market and i know you've read this but we we are in a place where we've got 10.4 million jobs available now that's the whole gamut so not all of those are great jobs let's put the asterisk out on that 8.3 million people unemployed uh the federal unemployment insurance benefit ran out in the 26 remaining states that we're offering it on labor day so we will see where we are in another month with the jobs report but there is still a white hot opportunity in a lot of places where companies are offering college tuition part full-time signing bonuses so the point is doing your research and seeing the range of what's available but then not overselling don't overshoot what could be a massive opportunity to get in especially for three thousand dollars or yeah especially and man i don't mean to ruffle feathers but kind of i do especially for your ego if you are you've been working for four years and you have your degree and you look at somebody and say i gotta even have a degree i should be making way more yeah that's ego that's ego that's right you don't know how they're connected what kind of skill set et cetera et cetera so yeah get in there get your job man and then work real hard and be be really um fun and encouraging to be around and you're not gonna have to worry about money for very long yeah that's absolutely right you know there's this something about youth and it's awesome yeah the expectancy she's gonna be careful that expectancy doesn't we gotta we had a job where it requires spanish i can i can i can do that good i can uh i can communicate do you know spanish are you fluent no but i'm able to uh communicate with uh colored pencils and paper what i don't know i don't know interesting stuff all right folks don't go anywhere he is dr john delaney i'm ken coleman this is the ramsay show [Music] [Music] [Music] [Music] welcome back to the ramsay show i'm ken coleman joined by my colleague dr john daloni we're taking your calls this hour triple eight eight two five five two two five how many times in the past year have you heard someone say i just wish things would get back to normal but what was normal like for you were you worried about money too much to do not enough time to do it you shouldn't have to go back to that when there's so much better ahead but in order to do that you need the right game plan so we want you to join us for game plan live this is our free live stream on tuesday september the 28th dave ramsey christy wright and george campbell will be laying out the clear plan to make all of your money goals happen like how to find a vision that gets you excited how to set healthy boundaries that keep you focused you can have the abundant balanced debt-free life you want and it all starts at game plan live to register for this free live stream event text the word game plan to three three seven eight nine that's game plan all one word text that word game plan to three three seven eight nine triple eight eight two five five two two five uh john i wanna take this i wanna take a quick snapshot of where we sit right now we're obviously in a very interesting time uh in in the american workplace and quick context we spend the average american does 90 000 hours at work in our lifetime so if you take sleep and work that's basically it you got a little bit of time to squeeze in the family right and sporting events and all the things the hobbies the music and all the things it's amazing uh and so there's a recent story here on cnbc uh i talked about this yesterday on the ken coleman show they're calling the economists are calling this year of 2021 the great resignation what do they mean by that the amount of people that are considering and actually leaving their positions to go do something else to go do something else here's the back story couple i'm just going to hit a couple of things here and then i want to dive in a couple questions here um money penny did this report uh they found that a whopping 93 of americans said they aren't currently pursuing a dream career the american dream fascinating a lot there very interesting stat then sixty percent of people are rethinking their career um one in three are actually considering leaving their job so you got job then people leaving totally different career paths and the statement made about the study is there's a crisis of identity yep and uh listen to this one last piece of data as many as 95 percent of workers would consider uh the job change and 92 are willing to switch industry so there's all this willingness considering all these different numbers coming out bottom line is um you and i were talking about this during the break uh i'm the guy that's always preaching purpose you were created to fill a unique role in your work you were needed you must do it but a role speaks to could be multiple jobs multiple career paths as long as you're using your talent to do work you love passion to produce results that there's some deep meaning in the results when i hear these stats i wonder how much of this is poor leadership one-on-one relationship with a leader in somebody just awful leadership that you and i know there's a massive leadership crisis i wonder how much of this is overall cultures that have been affected by the pandemic changes there's some leadership implications there as well i wonder how much of this is you know what i saw a lot of people die i saw massive change in my own life and i now want to embrace the rest of the change that i was previously unwilling to change because i see how precious life is i see how much it really matters to me to do something i love i mean there's a lot there i'm trying to give you the cornucopia of what i think is going on and then one of the when you look at depression look at anxiety you look at any number of psychiatric disorders and one of the cornerstones of of your body starting to res take on some of these things is a lack of control and i think there's been a pervasive rightly or wrongly that's a whole other show a pervasive sense of oh i just thought that things were going to be okay i thought there was somebody driving i thought that my doctors would all have the same answers i thought my churches would all have the same answers i thought my i didn't realize my workplace would just oh you're gonna send me home oh i'm on the cut list and i think you're watching the country in mass open your eyes and say i have to be the same as dave's been teaching for years you have to be responsible for your money you got to know where it's going i think people are starting to say oh i have a role to play in what my day-to-day is going to look like what my family lives can look like where i'm going to live what my work is going to be i'm just going to blindly accept a job what my health is gonna be you me i'm getting more questions about relationships and what should i be eating and what's exercise look just these basic things that we just put on autopilot for the last 100 years and people are saying well i got to take an ownership role in this yeah and this idea that you just got to be in your job for the rest of your life because i just do marketing this is what i do now people are saying i'll do it i'll do something else where i've got some more autonomy and control and peace and then i feel like i'm contributing yeah i i want to know what you think about this i've been i spent a lot of time thinking about this and i think the american dream somewhere along the line whatever that is right but it's really not the american dream it's the human dream but i think in modern times john i feel like the human dream the american dream i think it's been taken hostage and it's turned into a pursuit of stuff it's status yeah and i think what the pandemic helped usher in is nothing new that people in mass are going huh it's not about stuff i was working for stuff and maybe some status yeah i kind of now want to work for significance what matters to me so if it is working from home because i get to see my kids more than i've ever seen them you know what i mean i mean whatever the circumstances uh i think that's the shift yeah i think it's significance even what matters to me yeah that phrase pursuit of happiness as though it's out there and i just gotta go get it versus right i'm gonna decide to be present and whole wherever i am and then i you know that car is not gonna complete me that job title isn't going to make me go ah after years of trauma and heartbreak now i'm good because i'm an assistant vice president that's not how that works no the golf club membership isn't it i think it's about contribution yeah and i and well i don't think i know yeah it's interesting to bring up thomas jefferson's words the pursuit of happiness that we kind of all said in the fourth grade or whatever grade you remember saying it in the declaration of independence but he was interested he was really influenced by john locke one of the great thinkers of all time i'm not going to nerd out and lose all the audience but i would ask you to go look into some of those folks from the enlightenment how they really shaped jefferson's words and you touched on it the pursuit of happiness wasn't about stuff and status it was about what mattered to you what was your contribution that's why i wrote the new book from paycheck to purpose we're talking about stop thinking about all of your worth and all of your success tied to your paycheck i mean we need a paycheck we need provision no one's dishonoring work here at ramsey solutions we believe in it absolutely okay what i am saying is i think that's one of the big shifts i think people have been forced to confront life and the reality of their contribution and what matters most your thoughts on that yeah a hundred percent and i think the amount of collective trauma we've experienced over the last 18 24 months the the collective confusion the collective disorientation yeah um i i always go back to neuroscience and man we've got some very primitive responses which is we're gonna fight it we're gonna scream and we're gonna yell and we're gonna like throw stuff at each other and then we're going to run the great resolution great resignation i think that i'm going to be better over here than i am right here and some of that's true some of that there's toxic you've been putting up in toxic environments crappy leaders for years the other side of this i always want people to slow down for a second because man i've said this on the show a number of times wherever you go you go with you yep and if you're not well if you're not whole if you don't have good relationships if you don't have purpose in what you're doing every day internally you're just going to get that fancy new job and that fancy new town and that new house and you're going to look in the mirror that's exactly right listen to what he's saying folks don't jump make sure you know what you're leaning towards folks my brand new book from paycheck to purpose the seven stages that will lead you to work you love work that you were created to do it's available for pre-order ramsay solutions.com we got all kind of goodies to pre-order it now i'm telling you you got to be clear before you make any kind of major move like this dr john bologna is absolutely right all right good stuff doc coming up more of your questions phone lines are lighting up triple eight eight two five five two two five this is the ramsay show [Music] so [Music] [Music] the ramsay show continues from our ramsey solutions worldwide headquarters i'm ken coleman joined by my colleague dr john deloney the phone number to jump in on the conversation today is triple eight eight two five five two two five taking your questions about life every area you got a question we're gonna do our best to help you out john joins us now in tucson arizona john you're on the ramsay show how can we help hi thanks for taking your call uh we wanted to ask uh how can we be fair with our three children in regard to their inheritance in the future and yet safeguard our one son against being irresponsible and spending his portion all at once or don't we treat them all the same we don't want his inheritance to be a curse talk about the issues that this son's dealing with what are we worried about uh he's um he has a history of substance abuse and he is very irresponsible with money he's constantly refinancing his very old car so he can have more money to spend he doesn't pay his rent his landlord lets him coast that kind of stuff what have your conversations been like with him um not very pointed because he gets all depressed what is that what happens when he gets depressed uh it's a poor me um uh i'll never i'll never get better i'll never amount to anything i'm worthless yeah he just shuts down is that a tactic or is is he's got some diagnosable mental illness he's got some challenges he's worked with yeah through his whole life yeah he has he has a diagnosis of bipolar okay sort of and he doesn't take his meds okay um so i've worked with folks who are prepping wills and having these broader conversations you know dave has is um actually made this will and so what i've seen folks where hey here's my fortune that's going to go to my kids in this way and here's my stipulations for it um what i would tell you is is you and do you have a spouse too yeah she's sitting right here okay um i think backing out of the whole this particular issue because what you're going to do is you're going to try to reverse engineer it and not make an um what you believe is not a poor choice on this one part of your will and i want you to take a much bigger picture view of it first and that is going to be what do we want how do we want to steward the money that we have the money that we've steward what do we want it to look like when we're gone and we want to bless our kids with homes we want to bless our kids with fortune do we want to give it away to charity what are we going to do with that i want you and your wife to have that conversation it's a values conversation then the second part of it is who's going to be the executor and if you have one child that you're going to call and say we're oh this isn't a call this is an in-person conversation here's what this looks like i'm going to walk you through my will but it's a very detailed conversation we are asking you to do this and then i think the third thing is not avoiding hard conversations and not avoiding stipulations that you want to put on these these hard conversations because it's your money and so if it is going to go into a trust and you're gonna give one of your children or two of your children guardianship of that trust and they're gonna dole out x number of dollars a year if everybody is healthy if everybody's continuing to invest in their relationships and their whatever you want to look like if people aren't using drugs if they're not addicts if you're not going to enable them and whatever you want to do with that money um but it's setting it up in the trust and the key here is you are open and honest with all of your kids because what you don't want to do is dump this on your executor and let them have the hard conversations and deal with the relational ramifications of letting your wishes come true and that younger sibling is going to hate them and so it would be a hard conversation that you all need to have and that's just part of this you're you're the parent here i would also say this the tendency is is to wring your hands and try to control things from the grave if you will at some point you set up a trust you set up the values you have an executor and you say here's our wishes for this money and then you have to open your hands and be at peace right and um if you're you set things up in a way that's gonna at the end of the day you might not be able to protect your son as much as you think you're trying to right yeah um how much money are we talking about here well it's probably um three hundred thousand dollars for each for each okay yeah it's a substantial sum of money right it is yeah um we want to be good stewards i think i heard dave say one time uh do your given when you're living so you're knowing where it's going yes there you go well john you know dave has said this multiple times and john just laid it out for you but i just reiterate very quickly you've got to lay out the morality clauses the stuff that you're saying son in order for you to have access to this 300k this is what your life has got to be like you can't have this this and this and and it's very possible that he straightens up right and meets those conditions long after you're gone and gets it but then could fall backwards and you know so at some point i really love what uh doc told you um you gotta have peace but i would just set it out there lay it very clearly out there he's gonna have an opportunity to respond but it is what it is it's set in stone it's done and then you got to let it go here's everybody's got different approach to this conversation the end result is is you want people you don't want your money to be used to hurt people especially those that you love right and if you hand an addict 300 000 the chances that could go sideways are great i love a in-person conversation way upstream which might be i want to see two years of you taking your medication and i want to see two years of you going to counseling in fact we're going to start helping with some of that right now and that is going to inform how we do great i love that right that's different than if you ever use drugs you're out of here i want to demonstrate and there's there's that conversation too but i want to invest in the wellness i think it's both hand it absolutely here's what we're going to do yeah we're going to but i've got this in place for your brother and sister too that's exactly we're having a conversation with everybody that's right so i'm with you there but yeah set up a trust and you get to set up the details of the trust and then get the executive that you can lean on and if you don't want to use one of your kids get a family member or an attorney somebody that you that you trust uh no pun intended and just make sure everybody's on the same page don't have hidden surprises um once you pass away but thanks for being attention with your money yeah thanks for the call too you're good man way to go um john i this is so heavy i i i shouldn't even ask it but but i know you can handle the short version of it it's really really difficult for a parent who's worried about a child's future behavior current behavior whatever you get to the point where you've done everything what's the biggest i guess what's the biggest impediment to peace uh outside of again the spiritual you know conversation what's the emotional the biggest emotional hurdle to truly letting go and going i've done everything they can do the kid's going to have to stand up and fly right the one is guilt you did something wrong there's i should have done this one conversation that one time a little bit different or um that kid's got my genetics and so it's my fault that whatever the line is so i should have put them in a different school if i just worked less or worked more and so there's always trying to go back and edit that sentence that's got a period at the end of it the other side of it is you love that kid and nobody wants to see their kid hurt no and or stand by and watch it oh man and as a parents we want to lean in and fight the fights for them we want to take those blows for them right i want to run the races for them i want to do their math homework for them because i don't want to have to feel that and at the same time that's the only way to growth that's the only way that they can learn the skills that they're going to need to navigate this mess of the world so bottom line is there's guilt and then there's just the parental i love it's just love just rather die a million deaths don't want your kid hurt that's right it is and they didn't tell us that no when they sent us home from the hospital i know the nurse didn't give me the manual they said good luck with this oh um it's a cute kid you got there good luck it's so so hard but it may be the best thing for them and at that point it's like i i just know they're parents that are listening right now they feel like they're their wits end well and what i see some parents do is they take their hands off the wheel yeah and they say best of luck to you and then some hold that wheel so tight too tight and that nobody can breathe what's the analogy for the middle grounder find some people that you love man and you could say this is hard and you can weep together that's good i mean just get up don't stop loving that's right great stuff he is dr john dolone i'm ken coleman i want to say a big thanks to our producer james child and our associate producer kelly daniel and you america thank you for listening this is your show it is the ramsay show [Music] did you know you can listen to the ramsay show on your smart speaker just tell alexa google assistant or siri to play the ramsay show podcast check out all ramsay network shows on your smart speaker today [Music] this is the ramsay show [Music] you can be intentional about your character you can have money and a career you are the hero in your story [Music] live from the headquarters of ramsey solutions broadcasting from the dollar car rental studio this is the ramsey show it's where americans hang out to have a conversation about life we'll talk about money we'll talk about your relationships mental health emotional health we'll talk about your job your work are you on purpose we talk about it all we'll talk about you triple eight eight two five five two two five is the phone number triple eight eight two five five two two five i'm ken coleman joined by dr john delony and we are taking your calls this hour uh john uh we were just talking to the break fascinating with all these people wanting to move and change jobs the great resignation you were talking about fight or flight big big warning sign don't jump just because you feel or you're thinking and you're stressed out you're going ah i need change slow down you say yeah so when you're faced with chaos you're faced with fear you're faced with when your alarms start ringing that you're not safe you don't know what's coming man there's some we're running on ancient operating systems up top right and so it's our brains are gonna try to fight something and we've seen that for the last 24 36 months everybody yelling at each other and screaming and hollering and whatever and then you're gonna run from it you're gonna flee and so if you're sitting in your job right now and you're thinking i gotta get out of here i gotta go i gotta go i don't have any other plans i've got 50 000 student loan debt but i just got i can't be here if you're in an abusive situation absolutely you got to go yeah if you think that simply moving is gonna solve this i want everyone to remember that wherever you go you go with you that's right and then the next you're gonna freeze yep is that state of i'm frozen yeah right well that sounded dumb like that freeze is frozen right that was stupid it was redundant but it's this it's taking all of your feelings and what you just shutting it down your body just says hey we're going into neutral here because we can't handle this and that's next so everybody slow down yep slow down and that's what i love what you teach get clear about what you're looking for go towards something not away from something that's it and be clear about what you're looking for where you want to go i think the last 24 months is shaking our snow globe collectively uh and individually relationally everything and now it's a good moment in history to ask who do i want to be what i want to be yes right but don't make the jump the change without purpose being in the equation yeah is it on purpose so you jump off the door no you say before you jump off the dock make sure there's a boat there oh yeah yeah you know jumping is overrated it's kind of fun it's fun for fun but i mean not big big big life changes there's a cost there's yeah so let's be careful we can walk into it my point is we've romanticized the big i'm leaving you know the jerry maguire moment who's coming with me he's got the goldfish yeah yeah let's not do that all right let's get to your calls randy joins us in roanoke virginia randy how can we help hey how are you guys i'm doing great so uh i own a couple of small businesses and i still work a full-time job and me and my wife had talked about it and we have come to the conclusion that it's time for me to jump ship and do um my thing and i called to get one extra opinion but it sounds like i'm gonna get two so uh ken's smarter than me i may be quiet on this one this is what this is this is his world yeah so it sounds like you guys have decided and you just want uh two opinions we'll give them to you so what are you concerned about sounds like you've decided to jump but you're going all right i just want to make sure this isn't wacky so what are you afraid of well i you know i've got i've got uh my retirement set i'm 49 years old i've got about 550 000 in a raw 401k nice uh we've saved about two hundred thousand dollars cash nice and everything we own is paid for um and so you're a millionaire brother uh yes sir um and i i can replace my income uh probably uh probably 40 to 50 percent higher than i wanted than what i make at my job um but i but i am leaving you know eighty thousand dollars behind uh so you know there's a fear of them am i really doing the right thing um and i've been able for ten years to do this so should i should i really leave okay it's just explain one number to me what do you mean when you say you're leaving 80 000 behind you mean the difference between what you're making now with these side businesses versus what your day job's paying you is that what you mean yes yes sir i i i don't even think this is a matt normally to me it's always a math number when i get this call on the ken coleman show some people say ken is when's the time to leave i'll go when the math is right when you can move full time into your business and the budget's stable we're not struggling we're not scared out of our minds because we know it's risky it's just the right time i think that time is already here and i think you know that i don't think you're doing anything wrong by leaving the day job no i do not i think that financially you're in great shape you have no debt anywhere in your life and you're going to make a big chunk of what you're already making and you have enough to live on and i s i would ask you this how long do you think which and this is an estimate i know but how long would you estimate before you replace that eighty thousand dollars because you're going full time into your own business yeah i thought you said you're going to be making more over time i will be making more than i make uh i would suspect that my businesses will probably do 20 to 30 more immediately with me just being there and being involved with them on a day-to-day basis so it's a no-brainer so this isn't a math problem this is a security blanket pacifier question yeah yeah you're probably right yeah just you're scared of a monster under the bed that doesn't exist the monsters [Laughter] yeah well randy i will give you a hug i actually you know what i think randy needs i think he needs a high five he's crushed it randy you're debt free you're a millionaire you're a baby steps millionaire you have built these businesses up on your own i mean dude you're where everybody wants to be uh walk today you get to say take this job and shove it and i'm gonna go make more money yes so what what do you need from us you are already know this validation well you know i really like what i do uh but there are opportunities outside of that to do the works and i think i called on the right day because you know there are things that i would like to do i just needed somebody else to say yeah you guys are going in the right direction uh because there's all kinds of ministry opportunities that we can pursue without having this leash on me there is no move you can make staying or going that's not going to have a risk to it yep when and so whenever i look at risk i look at what am i anchored to what am i chained to and what is the potential catastrophe here and you owe nobody anything yes you've got half a million dollars in tax free retirement income you have a paid for house so you're chained to essentially nothing and then you got a 200 000 cushion plus already established businesses they're going to go up 15 to 30 percent the day you walk in the door there is no catastrophe bye felicia dude you called for encouragement we're trying to guilt you into this man hang up the phone call your wife tell her you're coming home to give her a big smooch and a big hug we're going to dinner and today's the day i resign and step into the future i have been planning and working so hard for you're a freaking rock star right that's randy randy everybody wants to be like you when they grow up embrace it this is the ramsay show [Music] [Applause] [Music] we were drawn to christian healthcare ministries because we both had young families and we wanted to have more children and we had also just started a real estate company and needed to find health care coverage that would meet our needs we were attracted to chm because of its low monthly costs and the ability to negotiate medical costs down established in 1981 and accredited by the better business bureau chm is here to meet the needs of your growing family or small business check us out at chministries.org backslash budget we absolutely believe in it [Music] welcome back to the ramsay show i'm ken coleman ramsey personality joined by my colleague and fellow ramsey personality dr john deloney we are part of the ramsey network uh he is the host of the dr john delaney show popular podcast and youtube show and i'm host of the ken coleman show i'm not going to say that my own show is popular but go check out both shows we uh we do believe deeply in what we what we do we believe we can help you so we're both uh thrilled to be here it just occurred to me james i was like i got to say that nice about my pal but i'm not going to say that about my own show i'm john deloney hosting a moderately successful kind of failing podcast i uh host a very popular wildly outrageously popular show you know it's just like come on anyway uh we're thrilled to be together as we sit here today to take your calls triple eight eight two five five two two five hey uh find out for yourself why blinds.com is the number one online retailer of custom window coverings you get free samples free shipping and with the new promos they run every month you'll save even more use the promo code ramsey to get the best deal all right today's question comes from robert in arizona robert says i'm an engineer and i earn about a hundred and ten thousand dollars a year i'm married with three kids and we live close to our parents we are debt free except for our mortgage my employer recently implemented some policies that have very anti-biblical stances which has made me look for another job every company in my field is following the same pattern so staying in the industry isn't an option there is a ministry that i really admire and just for fun i sent my resume to them because it's been a dream of mine to work there they offered me a position however we'd have to move away from family to a new state and my salary would be reduced by 45 000 a year should i leave my career and family for this opportunity all right uh so i love these blinds.com questions because they're always like a giant onion and and we have no reason we just invent the back story yeah yeah we get to try to figure out what the back and forth would be um i don't think that uh this is your only option right and so i start there uh sounds like to me that uh robert you've made the decision there is no turning back there is there's such a there's no situation by which you're going to stay uh in this particular company i would challenge you to look industry-wide and see if the positions that your company's adopting truly are industry-wide so let's at least do some homework let's know that we know that we know now having said that uh i think john when i hear this question i see that there's a very clear ending for him and he's going okay it's time to move on i can't work here anymore because of values issues yeah okay but just because you are enamored with admire this ministry in another state that has a job that pays you significantly less money doesn't mean it's the only escape hatch right and so i want to see you pursue other opportunities um and and if you can quickly because i know this offer's there uh see what else is out there at least you may not have offers but let's just see what's out there here's my concern uh this is a massive cut in pay uh included in this massive cut in pay and income uh is leaving your family those are two big hits john uh those there's some emotional and mental stuff that goes with those two changes in lifestyle it's enough to leave and cleave that has its own issues right uh but then we're going to all of a sudden almost cut our salary in half if you could do it do it yeah but i i just want to see other options first can you take these calls all the time yeah and i know during the break we i was reading this and i missed this one i read it during the break how often does somebody have a dream job somewhere or what they think is a dream job they're in their engineering job their actuarial job their accounting job their management job and they have this other lighthouse on a hill somewhere yep it's real easy to begin to backfill and demonize and weaponize little things to make them bigger to give myself permission to go does that make sense totally does that happen happens a lot here's why he's got this values disconnect with his current company so he finds this ministry which looks like to your point a shining city on a hill like they've been i've just really admired them forever and it's my dream and he thinks it's shangri-la right and so but wait a second what do i teach well great that you like that and you think they're great is the position that you're looking at in your sweet spot do you have the talent to pull it off does it allow you to use your talent does it eighty percent of the job include work that you really get juiced about does the job the results that that particular job produce results that matter deeply to you if it's not yes on all three of those things guess what that ministry that you fell in love with that you donated to or you watch on television can become a place of misery in about six weeks so to your point just because you admire it and it aligns with your values doesn't mean it's a great place to work well i see this in relationships when somebody's when people's marriage is in a tough spot we've all been there and then that person at work starts paying attention to you oh it's easy to go wait a minute that's what i'm missing here and it's not only that it's because she all right man it's yeah it's not reality no anytime i'm gonna make a values-based thing whether it's anti-biblical anti-whatever and to fill in the blank you know talk about man i'm always gonna sit down with somebody that i trust a mentor and say am i seeing this right and in my life 99 of the time they said dylan you're an idiot no no you're not seeing that right at all right yeah but anyway i'd sit down and talk to somebody before i packed up and moved properly i i ramsay solutions.com we got the get clear career assessment john we created it for this reason yeah it's going to measure talent passion mission 15-minute online assessment here's what happens you get a purpose statement and the purpose statement is going to allow you to look at opportunities like this and truly vet it yeah because is it on purpose or not yeah because just because you like it doesn't mean that that's something that you were created to do so i'm going to throw this back at him and go all right you're dropping in biblical values i'm going to tell you something i believe you were created to fill a unique role if this job doesn't allow you to fill that unique role use the god-given talent to do work that god just fires your soul up about because you just love it and it creates results that matter deeply if it doesn't do that then don't do it i don't care how awesome you love it yeah and it just doesn't matter go towards something yeah go towards something we've been targeting it's been a theme yeah go towards something don't run from yeah go towards man and yeah anyway yeah let's get to it uh triple eight eight two five five two two five let's go to tony in orlando florida tony how can we help greetings gentlemen greetings how are you i am well great how can we help so i left my job about the end of may um i'm working part time barely making ends needs but i have no idea what i want to do i have no nothing whatsoever in sight so looking for a full-time salary position is been extremely difficult yeah and i was just curious if there is anything out there any assessments or anything that can at least give me focus on what i want to do okay so tony let's let's address the immediate um okay when we put you on hold in a minute we're going to get you my get clear career assessment we'll get you a link and a code and it's our gift to you i want you to take it and it's going to help you see yourself as you've never seen yourself before it's going to give you all kinds of ideas okay and then there'll be some follow-up to where i can help you with that but let's talk about the fact that you're in a part-time job right now in the hottest job job economy in the history of the united states and you're barely makings in me ends meet so here's the deal today on this phone call we're not going to try to figure out the dream job what we are going to look at is talent only now if you tony introduced me to all the people that know you well and i hung out with all of them for about three days and i just spent time with a pencil and paper and i said tell me what tony does best they would tell me what you're talented at people skills hard skills soft skills the whole nine yards character traits everything okay that's what i want you focused on because those are the tools that you can use right now to go get yourself a good pain day job hear me say day job you hear me and then and then i want you to take the get clear career assessment you can call me on the ken coleman show we'll dive deep with your results it's going to show you what you're most talented at it'll verify what your friends are going to tell you it's going to tell you the kind of work you really love it's going to tell you the results that you are driven by and then it will show you professional possibilities and then you can go do research but here's what i want you to do i want you to find five of your closest friends and family members who will tell you the truth and i want you to all create a list of what you do best and then i want you to go look for a day job where you know you can actually do a really good job because you've got the talent because we need a full-time job for you tony we got to get stable financially hang on the line we're going to get you in ramsey plus as well so you can get a budget going and begin to get your financial life stable as we begin to figure out what your professional purpose looks like thank you so much for the call you got this so much value in you believe it this is the ramsay show [Music] [Music] [Music] [Music] welcome back to the ramsey show america thrilled to have you with us triple eight eight two five five two two five i am ramsey personality kevin coleman joined by ramsey personally dr john deloney we are here taking your calls this hour it is a free call we'd love to hear from you and uh doc uh i look through the window here of the studio and i see someone on the debt-free stage it is luke from albany new york welcome sir thank you all right so uh here to do a debt-free screen that's right yeah it feels a little surreal okay all right how much did you pay off luke i paid off 34 128 dollars and 67 cents oh my goodness all the way down this is i love that how long did it take you it took me a year and three months a year and three months all right and uh what was your range of income i started at about like 34 and then got up to 42. okay 34 to 42 what do you do oh you crushed this then i work at a adult day hab program for people with special needs so and i did that and then i picked up part-time job and a couple more side gigs along the way okay nice so that's a 8 000 bump there that gazelle intensity led you to do that that's really awesome did you sell some stuff that's a lot of money that's basically your salary you paid off in that in that that short period of time i tried to sell some stuff on ebay and that failed miserably so uh i didn't sell anything but i had just graduated in 2019 okay so out of college at my parents so you didn't have a lot of expenses no you were you know you are the dream graduate who just sucks it up for one year does it buy a bunch of new crap and just pays it off good for you yeah awesome stuff what was the debt all student loans all student loans okay very nice so you just got after it you're like i don't like the sound of this yeah i hated it yeah so what was that moment what led to it what's the back story to 15 months ago where you go i'm getting out of debt yeah well i started at my my first full-time job in november of 2019 and then in january i was checking the website for student loans to see how much i had and it was just a moment where you get so angry you're spending hundreds of dollars just the minimum payments back then because that was you know way less than ramsay-ish at the moment and uh you see how little it goes towards principle and i just thought to myself i can't spend 10 15 20 years making these payments and being a slave to these people so what'd you do so at the very beginning i was resistant to budgeting and when my sister mentioned to me i laughed it off because i thought it was something that restricted me and i didn't know that it gave me permission and it felt like a raise like what you guys say and so at the in january i was just throwing a chunk of money at it every month maybe 500 600 and i didn't really have a detailed budget and then probably towards spring summer months i got really intense and by then it was you know 10 percent tithe and then 85 90 percent towards the student loans and i would celebrate every a thousand dollar celebration moment with three dollars and 21 cents at mcdonald's and then just move on move on to the next friday and uh just be expectant and be excited to keep making progress that's incredible i love that what an absolute stud how how was uh i mean at some point maybe month seven when you're hanging out with mom and dad again on a friday or saturday night that had to be a beating even when they're like hey why don't you go hang out with other people because we're done talking to you like well john you his mom and dad might be cool probably not they're saying we didn't anticipate ourselves how did you keep the drive up right because man after a couple of months you can white knuckle this thing for a couple months but there had to have been a temptation like i'm just gonna get my own apartment i i mean i'm a slow i can slow down a little bit but you kept going it kept going and kept going yeah there was there i could have moved into an apartment above my brother's house but i didn't want to move there and then slow down at all so i wanted to buckle down and to keep me motivated i the part-time job that i did was overnights on the weekends so i'd work monday through friday and then friday and saturday night and saturday night right after work after the 11 30 to 8 a.m shift go to church lead worship eat a fantastic lunch by my cool mother very nice and then fall asleep for a couple hours wake up and then do it all over again so before we go forward there's a lot of people that are rice and beans beans and rice right now and they want to know for three dollars and 21 cents what the treat was at mcdonald's i know i want to know what was it was it the same thing a lot of times it was the same thing i would get i'm a big eater so i would you learn how to stretch those yeah i want to know what you have i would get three or no two mcchickens large large dr pepper a lot of refills and then and then i had the the receipt yeah for the free big mac so turn that in each time did the code see all right see now listen that was his motivation i love that right there two mcchickens and a uh big mac for hustling all week long i love it and this year you're gonna be in the gym working off last year's celebration which is gonna be incredible yeah yeah all right no judgment john no judgment i think that's fantastic have you had the experience yet have you had your paycheck deposit into your account and you got no bills i have yeah it felt good huh oh it feels great yeah because i paid off my loans on easter sunday initially i had planned to do it by my birthday and then it just kept moving up and up and so i paid off my loans and then it is crazy because when i was you know baby step two i was so intense i would wait till midnight on friday night instantly make my budget and then instantly have like 900 a thousand bucks to put towards the loans so now i forgot the question that's all right hey tell folks real quick what is the key to making it through this debt-free journey from your experience what's the key one of the big things for me was when i took the part-time job all the exhaustion and being tired all the time it was to have the right perspective and you guys gave that to me i'm reminded of the verse you know every good gift comes down from the father above so even the tough shifts they're a blessing too because they provide the money to get out of the debt and the other verse no discipline discipline seems pleasant at the time but painful so if you're doing something if you're in a painful process if you're tired that usually means you're doing the right thing and it won't last for long and i've experienced that too so now i got baby step 3 completed as well who's your biggest cheerleader my mom and dad big cheerleaders my dad would always send me a text when i was going to the overnight nice proud of you keep going another another you know hundred dollars off the debt and my mom and is that mom with you here today in the lobby it is okay fantastic way to go mom yeah my mom would encourage me to stick to the plan when i was so close and i wanted to take money out of baby step one yeah because i hated the debt yeah but she told me just stick to the plan stay in there love it love it all right i also had we took financial peace university at our church i talked to my mom and dad and then we had another couple join our church so then they did financial peace university and a bunch of people from church got involved to uh the shavers so they encouraged me in the social awesome great community there well i gotta tell you something we're proud of you young man and uh the sky's the limit for you you're off and running you're a future millionaire you're gonna make a huge impact uh and it's so obvious to all of us so here we go luke from albany new york paid off 34 000 in 15 months making 34 to 42 000 luke let's hear your debt free scream three two one i'm debt free how about that quiet soft-spoken discipline luke just went into hulk mode there's some rage in there those two loans will bring it out of you and all those chicken sandwiches too got to be some bad proteins in there i don't know we'll check it out we'll check out that on the commercial break this is the ramsay show [Music] welcome back to the ramsey show i'm ken coleman joined by my colleague dr john doloni thrilled to have you with us the phone number to jump in is triple eight eight two five five two two five today's scripture the fear of the lord is the beginning of wisdom all who follow his precepts have good understanding to him belongs eternal praise that's psalm 111 verse 10. our quote today comes from oliver wendell holmes it is the province of knowledge to speak and it is the privilege of wisdom to listen all right let's go to tim who joins us on the line in boston massachusetts tim how can we help hello hi tim hi thank you for your time uh well i'm going to get straight to the point here i am 29 years old i paid off the last of my four-year degree early 2020 after five years and five months of extreme budgeting thank you and i'm thinking about going back to school specifically in this case law school and i was hoping to get opinions okay why law school what's the what's the reason for going uh something i've been thinking about doing for five years now um i'm a firm believer that everybody should advance themselves in some way every single day mentally physically career-wise you name it and i see it as an opportunity to advance my own career build generational wealth because my older sister younger brother just had their first children and uh it really does shape your perspective on everything okay so hold on one second let's pause there advance your career in what way are you already uh considering a legal career or is this this new idea and i'm just gonna do it because being a lawyer is gonna i'm just curious how it's advancing your career what's the big picture i currently work in i.t okay and uh people i know have gone to law school and they said it to being a lawyer's grade a good friend of mine works in a gigantic law firm out of boston and well i think you think it's a good idea to uh advance my career because i ironically even though i work at i.t i have a fear that i'm going to get replaced by a robot well hold on one second tim uh what do you do in it i work in the call center i do uh level one okay um i see support do you genuinely do you generally like it work how much enjoyment do you have around i.t subjects types of work have you wondered about a an i.t career i'm just curious uh yes i do like what i do um i always say i love and i hate the fact that it's always changing yeah well five years from now who knows what we'll be doing because we didn't know what we were doing five years ago absolutely right but the chances of you being replaced by a robot and technology are very slim uh i think technology is the hottest industry there is it's an industry in and of itself in that whether it's the nonprofit world the ministry world the medical world big business whatever big education there are technology jobs everywhere with cyber security as the next new frontier of threat around the world technology's not going anywhere here's the challenge that i have based on what you've said so far the only answer i've heard and you've said it basically twice is that the reason you're looking at a law degree is to further your career and make more money there's no mention of loving litigation loving advocating for those you know i look at a lawyer now there's a lot of thing i've got a good friend john and i share a very good friend who's an employment lawyer world class that's a path to being a judge i mean legal counsel and being a lawyer certainly is a lucrative career however it's also a lot of money you spent five years your words extreme budgeting paying off your first degree i hear no love of the work but i don't want to make this too philosophical for you here's what i want you to do i want you to actually spend some time with some lawyers have you had a conversation with any actual lawyers and talked about their day-to-day work to where you have a pretty good idea which direction you would go in the legal field yes i have actually which direction would you go uh i've been told that uh because of my background in nit that ip law would be a good direction okay have you spent time with an ip lawyer or two or three no that's what i want you to do you've got to check this stuff out or else you're going to get invested in something that is very expensive and again all i'm hearing is good career versus i hear that you really enjoy technology and i got to tell you i would want you to weigh side by side with what i've already told you to do john i'll let you weigh in here in just a second but but but i also want you to to look at what a future in technology looks like what's a ladder in technology that would allow you to do work you really really love and be pretty fired up about the results not just choosing law because of the financial benefits tim i i spent five years as a senior administrator in a law school and i've researched law student mental health and attorney mental health and folks who work with attorneys and here's what i'll tell you if you have a fire in your belly to be a writer if you have a fire in your belly to be a serve in service to the least of these in our communities to fight to advocate if you have a fire in your belly to put on a suit and go to war as um a litigator assassin every day that's the field for you 100 of the people that i met and that i worked with who went to law school to quote unquote just make some money were miserable because the cost of law school not financially the emotional psychological spiritual toll of law school it is hard it re tr it trains you how to see the world in a different way that you can never unsee it ken is exactly right you've got to spend some time with some ip lawyers and not like i know a guy who just no go spend some some time with some ip lawyers been doing this for a decade not someone who just quit being an i.t exec and now is in is now making some money at a big firm in boston go ask some folks who've been through the ups and the downs and the massive transitions in the legal profession over the last few years and also sit down and ask yourself what do you want to do not i'm going to chase something and invest a whole bunch more money so that i can improve my career what do you want to do man ask yourself that question yeah and i think what's going to head this off john tim here's the deal please do this when you talk to lawyers that are in that field that that particular persuasion of law okay you find out what a day looks like a week and a month and a year and john here's what you and i believe you and i believe passionately about this that the head and the heart work together beautifully to give us confirmation we make things a big giant mystery and here's the deal you spend some time with some lawyers that are in that ip field and all that kind of stuff and they start telling you all this stuff your head's gathering information right this wonderful beautiful brain we've got is the world's greatest computer it sifts information and logic kicks in and then the heart gets all that information and it goes ding ding ding ding ding or the family feud x that's why i tell you what does a day look like right that's what i'm saying you can't go to law school for something if you don't uh you can yes you shouldn't ever make a major financial or educational commitment without sitting with people that do what you do that's why i wrote the proximity principle i wanted to demystify getting this idea in my head of how do i get connected how do i figure it out and and part of the proximity principle isn't about connections it's just about clarify verify i got to get clear what do you want to do and then go well do i want to do that i think i want to do that but then when i find out about it i might go oh my gosh most people have no idea no clue what's involved how hard being a lawyer is yeah how what it does to your soul how what what the actual job looks like very people know what that's like you gotta go talk to him gotta find out every single student that came in to school and said i wanna go do this because i wanna serve here i wanna help here i i love the fight i love the grind i love writing they are extraordinary i'm still in contact with a lot of i was one this weekend right she came to an event i did those who just said i just want to go get rich yep or i just want to go and this isn't just law by the way this is any correct any see i heard nothing in there to say you know what i've i've always been an advocate yeah and i want to be a lawyer because i want to fight for people or i'm an incredible writer yeah i want to just move the hearts and minds of people i want to mine the world for more ip stuff yeah right that's right i didn't hear any of that it was just oh i've seen my friends have kids it's waking me up to the fact i need more money that's exactly right i appreciate the call all right i want to thank my colleague dr john delaney always fun hanging out with you pal i want to thank our producer james childs our associate producer and call screener kelly daniel and of course you america thank you for listening this is the ramsay show [Music] hey it's kelly associate producer and phone screener for the ramsay show if you would like to do your debt free screen live on the show make sure you visit the ramsay show.com and register we would love for you to come to nashville and tell dave your story [Music] you

Channel: The Ramsey Show - Full Episodes

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Id: 6htXC8TIqrg

Length: 121min 35sec (7295 seconds)

Published: Tue Sep 14 2021