Nothing Will Change Your Money Habits Unless YOU Do!

this is the ramsay show you can be intentional about your character you can have money and a career you are the hero in your story live from the headquarters of ramsey solutions broadcasting from the dollar car rental studio this is the ramsey show it's where america hangs out to have a conversation about your life i'm ken coleman joined by my colleague dr john dolone as we take you through this hour triple eight eight two five five two two five is the phone number to jump in triple eight eight two five five two two five now when john and i get together obviously we're gonna talk about your money questions your life questions that you have come to know and to love here on the ramsay show but we will both dive into our specialties as well if you're new to the program or new to one of us quick summary is i'm helping people figure out what they were born to do you were created to work and if you started looking at work as a contribution where you could make the income you desire and the impact that you desire what would work look like all right so we're talking purpose and when you're on purpose by the way in your work watch how your life and your relationships get much better now john uh describe for folks that might be new to you or to me or to us what you focus on with the doctor john delaney show we talk about relationships and mental health and parenting and education and trying to just figure out life yeah anything um above and around and to the side all of it it's all trying to figure it out that's right so john and i love to team up if you're in a really toxic situation feel like you can't spend another day at the office with a co-worker or a boss and this is serious stuff john because it affects your livelihood you know you're not making a paycheck decision lightly john and i'd love to team up on those uh we're looking at the data man we're looking at it people are struggling and they're struggling at work they're struggling at home struggling relationships struggling their kids back in school and a new harvard business review uh publication uh did some harvard research 9 out of 10 people john 9 out of 10 americans say they would consider making less money to do more meaningful work what is that what does that mean philosophically for us for us as humans in general i i mean it means that we all want to make a difference and you get to the point where you feel like i'm not doing something that i really really enjoy and the enjoyment isn't because it's easy or it's smooth it's because i really love the work itself i'm doing something that i enjoy doing you look at the old guys i always go to this example who just love tinkering on engines it's a problem for them it's a new puzzle you know and the narrative i grew up with was the goal of work is to just take care of yourself amongst that's the amount of dollars provision but it's past provision now it was about it's i would think of that old garfield poster whoever ends with the most toys wins yeah and that's the narrative that's what's the area yeah it's gone from provision to stuff yeah and what we all know is humans it's not about anything it's about significance we want to make a significant dent in the world meaning we've got to go i just want to make my mark if we're going to really simplify it and i think when you get people going i'm working too hard i'm working too long crappy environment i would literally consider making less money to do something that really mattered to me that i enjoyed first parents do it and now they say i shouldn't have traded that for your child well there's no question yeah yeah so now there's a group of people saying i'm just gonna cash out yeah nine out of ten a group yeah ninety percent yeah yeah huh so now again they didn't say they were going to do it right all right but they're going with the right opportunity but to your point you do they're at an emotional place to be able to answer that survey that way they're going i really would yeah and you know it comes down to it comes down to um at some point there's enough pain associated with their current lot in life and from the work standpoint to where they go i would adjust i'd sell my house you know i would state yeah my costs i just want to get off of this hamster wheel where i feel like i'm spending spending spinning for no reason and you know this when people want to either get out of debt uh they want to find a job they love they want to lose weight they want to fix their marriage they want to fix a crisis in parenting at some point the pain gets to a place as david said many times where you go i'm sick and tired of being sick and tired yeah and i think that's what we're seeing in that poll well it's um who wants to be sick and tired for 40 to 50 hours a week well i mean that's what it boils down to in the way i've begun to distill it is we have an opportunity to choose choose your heart yeah it's gonna be hard to remain a hundred pounds overweight and have every part of your body hurt every time you get up and it's gonna be hard to lose 100 pounds and that's the truth it is and it's gonna be hard to go to a job you hate 60 hours a week and it's going to be hard to adjust your lifestyle down make a little bit less money move to a new town of a lower cost of living it's not a matter of choosing between oh this one's going to be simple i don't have to i can be unstructured and not intentional versus this one it's a matter if you're going to choose your heart and i think people are opting out and saying this is hard and it's killing me that's going to be hard it's going to be life i'm going to take that one yeah you let into beautifully i was going to ask you to talk about this because i deal with this every day on the ken coleman show people calling in and when i dig into why haven't you done it you know what you want to do you're clear these are the people who know what they want to do uh and they actually know how to get there but but fear is holding them back and i've just found this is the human condition we just would in some places sometimes rather be miserable than uncomfortable well and i used to think that was a moral and character thing you know i mean it's it's this it is a choice it all comes down to choice yeah but man our neurobiology solves for what we know yeah it solves for homeostasis it would rather the devil you know than when you don't know exactly right and so yes that person's abusive but i know where they're abusive and yes this boss treats me like crap but i can count on it yeah and it's stepping out into that unknown that we our bodies try to solve go back go back to where you know so true go back to where you know so we just stay put and then and then you do get to a point where you're too miserable unfortunately usually it's it's a crisis that pushes you over the edge and then and you speak to this this is the world you're in says you're trained in this yeah the problem is john is once we get to the crisis you know there's so much other collateral damage yes like even when we go oh crap crisis massive heart attack or whatever pick the category health whatever mental health we don't want to get to that crisis moment john because there's a whole lot of derivative effects and collateral damage that's when your kids wear it your spouse wears it and your colleagues wear it and your neighborhood wears it yeah and that's when your mortgage company is calling you and your entrance i mean it's when all that stuff happens and so yeah it comes down to one simple thing choose your hard and then how far upstream can you get to solve for some of these things yeah we talk a lot about fear you and i both i mean we we deal with people every day that are in fear uh myself included right i'm not i'm not are you kidding me you do this yeah oh yeah no by the way fear and doubt never leave us no this concept that you can completely remove them is silly you can overcome them yeah you can power through them but you will deal with them you make peace with your life yeah i think fear tells us the truth sometimes and fear lies to us a lot yeah you know and and i i you know where's the delineation for you on that what's your process my process has become other people what i know is that when i become afraid my brain responds and it takes part of itself offline the rational thinking part offline and it is simply responding to stimuli and so i i have people in my life that i call and say here's what i'm looking at and they're an expert in money they're an expert in life they're an expert in marriage and um i'll ask am i seeing this right and they'll say you're good yeah exactly i think i need to cash out everything and put in bitcoin and they'll say just stand down homie yeah go for a walk so good and go fishing but that's my process i know enough to know that i'm not trustworthy isn't that the truth and so i'm going to call somebody yeah no one's rational when they're afraid so having that uh community that accountability to run stuff off of is great all right folks he is dr john dolone i am ken coleman you're listening to the ramsay show your calls coming up stop paying your overpriced wireless provider and switch to pure talk they use the same network as the larger providers for much less for just thirty dollars a month get unlimited talk text and six gigs of data with no contract the average family saves over seventy dollars a month by switching to pure top just go to puretalk.com and enter the promo code ramsey to save 50 off your first month pure talk simply smarter wireless welcome back america you are listening to the ramsay show i'm ken coleman joined by my colleague dr john deloney and it is your show uh we with john and i here we pretty much will cover just about anything you got a question uh about anything in your life uh it's wide open triple eight eight two five five two two five that's the phone number somebody out there i john i just know somebody needs to call they're kind of going all right i've thought about it i've been listening to this program and uh maybe dave would whack me on the head but i think john and ken i think they're gonna be nice to me probably not we'll give it a shot though yeah i think we will potentially yeah it's great triple eight eight two five five two two five is the number triple eight eight two five five two two five let's get to the phones we're gonna go north of the border ontario canada where joel joins us joel how can we help hi guys thanks for taking my call today you bet what's up um basically i think i'm being underpaid at my job but i'm not sure exactly and i'm not sure how i would find out so i was just wondering how do i find out and what do i do about it yeah what's your uh title or what is your uh what would you say your technical position is if you were describing that uh to somebody who was a recruiter and say hey i do this kind of work what do you do um i'm a mold designer like a tool and die industry like a mold designer oh nice so what what what kind of molds are you creating for what kind of tools um mainly for the automotive industry uh a lot of car parts okay great and how many years have you been doing that um just over three now okay so um i don't have a spiffy little website to give you to make this super easy but i don't think this is gonna be difficult but what you're looking at here is is you're looking at the what what and certainly in canada uh you're gonna look for uh what a range of pay is and what we call this is this is just what the market will bear right so what's the market for somebody who does your kind of work uh and for somebody who's been doing it as long as you and then i would also throw in there any specific certifications that you have you know so again i'm i'm kind of walking blind into this kind of work i can barely put the gas in my car so talking to a guy john who does molds for tools every day is a bit over my skis however you know whatever the industry certifications are whatever kind of training you have that got you where you are i would include that what you're doing is a search we're going okay what's the range of income what do you make right now uh right now i make 19 an hour okay so we're going to look at and let's just say you do the research and the range for somebody that does your work that has your certifications qualifications and experience let's say the range is 22 to 25 an hour i'm making that up obviously because you don't know and i don't know but if we see that we are below the average then what we want to do is is we want to take that information now this is not opinion anymore so you've got your research if it's from a reputable site a reputable source and you're going to sit down with your leader and go hey um i've been doing this for three years i want to keep doing this i would love to sit down and talk to you about a growth plan uh and that includes this where what are some areas that you feel like i could get better some areas of improvement uh what are some things that i could do certifications or training or some added responsibilities around here that will make me more valuable to the team i want to take on a bigger load i want to create more value and then third how can we measure those those two things and tie that to my compensation because i want to grow professionally which means i want to grow financially that would be the posture by which you take that information right that's if you are making less if you find out that you're you know right there in the middle of that range again same conversation growth plan because you want to max out john anything you'd add well joel what makes you think you're underpaid um so i i talked to a few people kind of roughly in the same position as i am and they were all making more than me but um i also heard that it was kind of bad etiquette to go around asking people like roughly what they make so that's kind of why i thought that because the people that had roughly the same amount of responsibilities were being paid more but i only asked three people same company i'm not yeah same business um no slightly a different company but same industry gotcha so yeah i think it can joel stay here because i want to ask him this because you do this all the time and joel this will help you because this is a i think this is a broader question i'm hearing people let's say you're you're a mold maker for machine parts you make 19 an hour and right now we're in this weird little glitch in the matrix where you drive down the road and it says 21 an hour at sonic with a 5 000 signing bonus it's easy to correlate what we're seeing and hearing about on the news in the market and joel i'll tell you those kind of conversations they can give you a ballpark but people lie to you that's right oh i'm making 42 an hour bro you're getting ripped off no you're not you're not telling the truth so i would hold that very loosely that information you got um but can there's this balance of i think i'm being underpaid which is a different conversation than i'm not making enough money yeah which is a different conversation with i worked really hard and got a lot of training in this one particular skill and now they're paying this at taco bell and those aren't related conversations they are not and so we see this all the time where you've got this happened over the last two years where aside from the pandemic where we had a big drop in unemployment the unemployment rate has now dropped back down we now have 10.4 million jobs higher than we had prior to the pandemic coming in let's call it march 2020. what we were seeing was young people were coming in and because there was such a need there were more jobs available than there were people who were unemployed young people younger people less experienced people were coming in and taking a position and because of the demand supply demand basic economics here joel what happened was is they were getting paid more than somebody who had been there before but it was about supply demand companies it wasn't that they thought that this younger person who had the same amount of experience was a better employee it was just this is what the mark is is kind of pushing that i've got to pay right now right so to further solidify what you're saying these are not all related and so what i would say joel is is to what john is saying uh having a conversation with a couple guys that do the similar work and them just being your only source that's never good because john this is back into the world you spent a lot of time in which is comparison i struggle with comparison i mean good heavens we all do and when i look at well these guys are doing the basic thing and they're making three or four bucks more an hour all of a sudden it's really impossible to look at what really matters which is let's say that you got an offer joel today to be paid three dollars more an hour doing the same work in another company but you knew going in that they were crappy people to work for or they treated you like insurance or they were horrible or or something worse than what you have it now let me just tell you something john i can't tell you how many callers i've had on the ken coleman show say ken i took a promotion for the money only i'm miserable now what do i do right so i joel i want you to back out of this conversation keep it as far away from the 19 versus 21 dollars an hour because the temptation is to take that three dollars an hour multiply times 60 hours a week times this many a month and i should be making this much more a month and think about that on my paycheck and then i would buy this it's so easy going that road back out and say the question let me just say what i always ask ken and you can tell me this is wrong did my boss is it are they deceiving me did i i don't even care let's say i found out you make 200 000 more than i do right i could say man i want to make that kind of money but really i'd go back and say me and dave shook hands yeah and he never tricked me he's paying me so yeah i would go further fair i think that's the right first question did they deceive me on this right number two let me do my actual research he hasn't done it yet dig in and so the advice i gave him first let's go see what's out there and how far off of my am i on that market average then number three go do i love this work yeah do i value this place do they value me these are the quick little questions you're going to ask and you're taking a snapshot to go do i have a ladder here yeah because if i go over here the grass is rarely greener by the way relationally professionally am i right and i think this we're in a season now where we're watching the world change underneath us yes and the heartbreaking reality that millions will face is i have been trained in a thing that took me a decade to get trained i'm an expert in fill in the blank i have been doing this fill in the blank for 20 years yup and technology a.i the market moves yeah and often we're left with two choices curl up and be devastated by it what to say that was a fun run and now i'm back in the training i'm back in the pro finding people to find out what my new career is going to be what's this thing going to look like but you got to face that reality and move on it may be that 19 an hour was incredible seven months ago and now yeah that's what the starting salary at a fast food joint is you got some hard hard choices here's the underlying lesson folks the amount of money you're getting paid really has nothing to do with your purpose and purpose in your work is what really really matters phones are lighting up triple eight eight two five five two two five dr john deloney ken coleman here with you on the ramsay show you're listening to the ramsay show i'm ken coleman joined by my colleague dr john delony and we take your calls this hour about your life we'll talk about your money your work your relationships your health mental health sleep obnoxious co-workers horrible leaders family members that are driving you nuts i mean it's pretty much just wide open or here to discuss it incredible success stories what you're looking at right now there this is what we love on the debt free stage is john and catherine welcome hey thanks for having us you bet where are you guys from we're from a little town called white georgia about an hour north of atlanta okay very good yeah i know that area uh so you're here to do a debt-free scream tell us how much you paid off eighty-seven thousand five hundred and eleven dollars oh wow eighty seven five not that we're counting every penny but yeah absolutely and how long did it take you to pay it off 28 months 28 months and tell us the range of income we started at about 105 000 and ended at about 140. there we go tell me about the 35 000 bump what'd you do i got a promotion at work and also i'm in sales so it's the longer i do it you know more more commission based i built there you go good for you congratulations what do you sell man i am the national sales manager for a company that sells uh manufacturing equipment okay awesome all right and uh catherine uh tell us what you do i'm a homemaker yeah you're the ceo of the house she has the hard job that's exactly right that's the heavy lifting well that is so fantastic so what kind of debt was it a little bit of everything we had some old business debt from a business that we had sold about seven years prior we had uh some medical debt card payments credit cards uh personal loan just you name it we had a little bit of everything wow so take us back 28 months ago you start this journey what led to this so it would have been uh so we started in january of 2019 uh so in december we just kind of gone through the christmas uh the kind of the christmas rush trying to come up with money you know charging everything up to our eyeballs to you know buy more christmas presents and i think what really hit it for me was i think it was about a month before christmas um we don't with the income that we made um i went to a pawn shop to make some money to uh to pay some of our bills and here i was on pawning things and next month turning around and charging stuff on credit cards and so this is just insane you know we uh this does not make any sense you're making six figures and then running upon one of those things and catherine had been through uh fbu when she was in high school but uh oh great but yeah my dad introduced to me and so at this point uh take us to this what you guys are a mess do you say hey i remember this class what happened basically i was like you want to live debt-free and he was like yeah and she brought it up to us again i had listened to dave ramsey in the radio a few times just kind of hurt him you know flipping through the uh-huh so i started listening a little bit more and trying to get into it and we said you know what january is a good time to kind of start fresh and we uh go through that process but we were we say we were kind of dave-ish until about march of 2020 okay we were definitely still going on the journey you know we've done the you know the step one and we done we were working on step two uh but it was not as gazelle intense as it should have been and then march 2020 with the pandemic did something happen in march of 2020 the whole world burned down and you came back together again so uh we went through it we got really gazelle intense then so at the height of our uh journey um we were not only was i working you know my regular job but on the weekends i was delivering pizzas i was also doing um two side gigs uh both buying and delivering groceries we were selling stuff on ebay we had always had a large garden so we we set up a farm stand we started selling uh where she was canning goods we were selling jellies and jams and our own produce and we were working five or six different things just to really have any money we could get coming in to really speed it up so that like a large portion we paid down came from march of 2020 until may of 21. yeah that last kind of the last leg of it my goodness so you had a great salary and paying off 80 87 90 000 y'all were really running lean we were yeah and what was the most extreme like take us to we just heard how intense you all were from a work standpoint you guys were getting after it bringing in more money but talk about the sacrificing the abstaining side of things how crazy did you get well i am switched from buying clothing and things for the children at um like retail stores to go into consignment and thrift stores to borrowing from friends and hand-me-downs um did the kids survive did they make it oh yeah they did they made it no way yeah and then um we switched our cell phone providers to something much much cheaper and you know just write some beans rice and beans yeah we we cut cable we you know we went to uh we did that you know we also did uh then you got to play with your kids and talk to each other yeah right we did lots of things like that we also um you know we went from buying like uh you know quote-unquote like you know healthier food like you know some of the more organic stuff to where we went to uh you know buying all generics into aldi and places like that really you know we saw just switching grocery stores we knocked our grocery bill down by like 600 bucks a month yeah which is crazy um so things like that yeah um yeah we just made a lot of a lot of little changes a lot of telling each other no you know hey we kind of want to do this thing well it's not the budget and uh you know we can't do this month or let's look at it next month and uh i think the biggest thing for us through it all was really improved our communication skills because for even though you know we were you know we're sharing bank accounts and everything else uh our money was often running two different directions you know we had goals for ourselves not necessarily um family yeah that we weren't talking together about as much and you know at this point we've been married you know six years we began this journey so we should have already been on the same page but it kind of was in different directions so this really helped us pull together and we did you know every dollar together every month and sat down and uh i think the first probably eight or nine months she hated that time of the month and then we kind of got better as we got used to it yeah and making adjustments and uh you know learning how to work on a budget and and things and we dealt with setbacks i mean we had uh we had about twenty five thousand dollars in medical bills we had a cash flow through the beginning of this yeah um so she had had some major surgery so we had to do some of that and we also had um how to buy a new hvac system we had to do the dreaded hvac yeah it always likes to show up when we're trying to make headway financially what would you say to couples out there that aren't on the same page they're hearing this and they're shaking their head they're going we're not on the same page financially you guys got on the same page what would you say to encourage them i mean i think just uh finding your finding your why getting your goal and then really just finding a way to communicate you know i had to adjust how i spoke to her about money because um if i wasn't careful the way i spoke about money came off to her like i was either being condescending or was uh or i was not value was important to her because we had different we had different things are important yeah and i think i mean from your end um basically i've been very privileged my whole life so being told no was not really exciting but um you know not really learning to live like within your means and below your means to make sacrifices really was rewarding um you know it's a good feeling to be able to look back and see what i've accomplished yeah that's awesome so uh who are your cheerleaders who are the people that really cheered you on and stayed with you through the journey definitely our family our families um you know her parents especially in mind too as well but um you know her you know her parents who are the ones who had centered through fpu back in high school you know they were followers of the the program were kind of encouraging us on and um you know and our and uh you know my uh my dad's stepmom as well we had some good folks and uh from family and friends in our corner from friends from our church were really encouraging as well that's awesome and the kiddos i see that they're here with you we're going to bring them up in just a moment but did they get it like were they were they kind of in tuned and how did they contribute well they uh after saying no to so many things and then for so for so long we figured we had to kind of tell them why at some point we explained the concept of debt and they were like well why would you get into that that seems silly like well yes you know out of the mouths of babes come wisdom right yeah so um but uh they but they started to understand what we were doing and they were excited for us and we're talking about it and then uh sometimes they would tell each other or um and our oldest who's with his grandmother today but you know he'd remind him no we're not doing that because you know we're because mommy and daddy are in debt like we're working on stuff and so uh they kind of helped police each other a little bit so it was good well i see they've joined us so tell us who they are and their name their names and ages please this is ephraim he has seven this is lydia he has six she is six there you go we got it ephram and lydia that is so awesome and now have they been practicing their scream are they ready to go yes sir all right i think it's time don't you john let's say we're going to give you a copy of the legacy journey because that's the next step that's where y'all are headed and we're going to give you a copy of total money makeover so you can give it away to somebody who you think would benefit from and change their life as well yeah so please pass that along all right here we go john and catherine ephram and lydia they paid off 87 000 uh 87 511 actually in 28 months making 105 000 to 140 thousand dollars let's hear your debt free screen all right guys three two one we're debt-free i love it so good way to go kiddos they nailed it that's a happy family john it's quite a sacrifice yes but it's two years and now yeah every single thing is different two years you're right i mean game changer that's it a little bit of storm a little bit of hustle for peace and an unbelievable future ahead of this young family beautiful beautiful whatever they want great stuff he is dr john dolone i'm ken coleman and you're listening to the ramsay show welcome back to the ramsey show i'm ken coleman joined by my colleague john dolone and we are here to take your calls about your life your money your work your relationships mental emotional health whole nine yards let's go triple eight eight two five five two two five is the number triple a eight two five 825-5225 blinds.com's 100 satisfaction guarantee means even if you mismeasure or pick the wrong color they'll remake your blinds for free you get free samples free shipping and with the new promos they run every month you'll save even more make sure you use the promo code ramsey to get the best deal so today's question comes from marissa in michigan i'm 28 years old and currently at the end of what has been a very long and tiring phd program as they most of them are my goal has been to stay in academia where i could teach and do research but i discovered along the way that this is not the path for me for a variety of reasons i've lived very frugally and worked on the side so i have no debt and 75 000 in savings and investments wow way to go marissa i've worked over 70 hours a week for the last six years and i'm exhausted i've lost interest in any work to related to what i've studied and i dread entering the workforce only to do more of the work i've grown to despise what should i do wow there's a whole lot here i'm gonna simplify this john i know you'll add to this but i would start with because of your financial uh i would call it freedom uh i think it would be good for you to go do some job just any job forget and i'm the guy that's always pushing people to find their purpose and find that dream job which is simply about using what you do best to do work you love that produces results that matter because you're so fried marissa on this type of work i think you go try something totally different and just if it's just covering the basics the bills but you've always been intrigued by it and you're just going i want to do this work because i think it'd be kind of neat kind of fun or i just want to help these people and get a paycheck i keep it really simple and i think that's the first step of kind of coming off of this this this uh deep fryer we use in the deep south where we throw anything in and it's just hot burning grease and it's bubbling and i think she's been in that so long then i would make sure i start re-examining what caused me to feel fried and lose it i think there's a whole lot of circumstances john that we can't get to because this is an email question but i would examine do i love the work still if i wasn't in that cauldron that boiling cauldron of pressure maybe some toxicity a whole lot here we don't know about and the way i would do that is by myself i'd spend some time just getting alone under a tree in front of a lake quiet and go why did i love the work originally and if i removed all the negative yuck would i still love the work and then the third step i would say is and this is tactical you can help out on the emotional advice and everything else but i'd get with some people who do that work and they're really fulfilled and very happy yeah i just spent some time talking to them and go what's your environment like and i would do all of that to see if the heart is telling us it's time to move to something totally different because it could be or the heart's just damaged and it's wounded that's my quick take yeah and anybody who's finishing i love like the deep fryer and who's coming out deep fryer you getting done with the phd program it's been very long oh my god you should be burned out i can't only i'm fairly certain that my wife likes me on most days and my kids and there are some days when she says i need to go away today yeah i need to go away for a couple of days right so just because you need a break i love that idea just go get a job go get a job and it's almost like a pallet cleanser yeah go put your head into something and you can because you've worked really hard yeah and man you were you were dead on working in academia at a big research one institution is different from a teaching college different from a faith-based school from a community college do you hate teaching do you hate students do you hate research do you hate chemistry like get clear and you can only get clear when you've got some space that's exactly yeah just back out a little bit but just because you're fried doesn't mean you're crazy it doesn't mean you have chemistry right or editing or whatever you got your phd in yeah it may just be you're exhausted yeah yeah and again i've taken so many calls from teachers who thought at the start of the phone call can they start off by saying ken i need to get out of teaching i have no career what to go to help and when we dig in we find that they're a teacher they have a part of the teacher they're put on this planet to instruct if we're going to make it simple and now we've got to find a different environment because maybe the environment you're in for reasons that they go through isn't the best and they go oh it's not but they find well public school environment isn't for me but community college i would love it or trade school or go to the corporate world and be a trainer which is an instructor so um it's tough man yeah because it's so hard to see clearly john when you're just trying to keep your nose above the water yeah sometimes i imagine a doctor it feels like that like you're just the waters up here yeah and as hard as she's been working on the side oh on top of everything else that's right yeah yeah well we appreciate the question all right let's go to baltimore maryland now where jayla joins us jayla how can we help oh good afternoon how are y'all doing well we're having a blast what's going on with you jayla thanks for taking my call um i'm currently a sophomore in college debt free due to a scholarship and i pay nothing but i'm somewhat restricted into one business school mind you i've always had a passion for automotive and mechanical engineering throughout middle and high school due to my fear of debt and making my parents proud i took the scholarship rather than going to the university i've always wanted to go to and my question is should i stay at the university i'm at due to my fear of death or go to the university i've always wanted to for the major i naturally have a passion for i don't want to end up regretful and unhappy in a career path that i'm good at but do not enjoy one day yeah well first of all young lady um i sense a little bit maybe you're beating yourself up a little bit yeah because you did this thing you're like i made this choice to make mom and dad happy and to not go into debt and i you're a sophomore in college so you are not at this crossroads where you've wasted any time or effort i just sense that on you is that true yeah okay but don't can i ask you a hard question jayla well let me let me piggyback what ken said i've never heard anyone in all my years working in college saying you know what i'm really mad about my free undergraduate education i'm so ticked off about it what an idiot and um so you have a passion but you mentioned something that's a red flag for me after working with college students do you really not want to do business and do automotive engineering or do you have your eyes set on a particular university that may have a particular person or two or three that go to that that's the question what's the answer well yeah i knew it i knew it wait wait wait wait wait wait wait okay wait wait i think it's the right question doc but i want to know because you said at one point you've always had a passion for automotive engineering and then it was this we heard twice this universe that i want to and you're absolutely on it so jayla where is it at is it 50 50 is it 60 university 40 engineering where are we it's more so like 60 percent engineering and 40 university because the school i go to now they don't have an engineering program at all okay okay so that's committed all right so we have very limited time so we're going to cut right to the chase okay because the heart of your question is do i have to stay where i am in a scholarship for a degree i don't want or take on debt and that's a false narrative yeah yeah okay so i want to head that off here's what i teach and john agrees with me you need to do the engineering work or you will regret i mean you've you've nailed this at a young age that you don't want to be in a career and wake up at 35 and go i didn't do the thing i wanted to do you like solving mechanical problems you like cars and the whole automotive thing that's where you want to be you've identified that but here's the deal how many different pathways are there to that future that's the homework assignment that i'm going to give you because you can answer that better than i can but do not assume that you've got to take debt on to get there because that's garbage and it's not true you hear me yes so here's the question you got to ask what degree do i need or do i need a degree and i think you do to do the engineering you need a degree so who are all the people that offer that because let me just tell you this anybody that's going to hire you jayla is not going to care where you got your engineering degree from am i right john most of the time yeah i set you up to where you just had to disagree they don't care nobody cares they want to know if you can do the job so jayla it's where else can i get it you can't get it where you are you're gonna have to have a hard conversation with mom and dad because i know they want you to to go to school but you're gonna say i'm still going to school but i gotta change my plan so where can i get it how much is that gonna cost me how do i save up for it maybe can i get a scholarship for that i'm gonna work as hard as i can to get into the school i need to to get the degree i need to do the work i want to do no you can do this no death that's a false narrative you got this jayla thank you so much for the call hey wow that hour is over thank you james childs thank you kelly daniel thank you john deloney and thank you america this is the ramsay show have a friend or family member that needs a daily dose of ramsey advice in their life let them know about the ramsey call of the day podcast it's a quick hit of advice about life and money in under 10 minutes check out the ramsey call of the day podcast wherever you listen to podcasts this is the ramsay show you can be intentional about your character you can have money and a career you are the hero in your story live from the headquarters of ramsey solutions broadcasting from the dollar car rental studio this is the ramsey show it's where america hangs out to have a conversation about your life i'm ken coleman joined by my colleague dr john dolone and we're here to take your calls this hour triple eight eight two five five two two five triple eight eight two five five two two five doc how are you doing today you good you're right you're standing that's right we got a full stretch full crew out here in the uh in the lobby yeah i saw you back in the hallway doing some uh some uh exercises with the throat none of that happened but this did happen yeah uh we we greet people a lot on the show and i was brushing my teeth after lunch trying to be a good neighbor and community member and i don't know how this happened i'm so excited you're telling this this has never happened never i grabbed a tube of hair gel yeah and i brushed my teeth yeah with hair gel how long was it in your mouth before was it like a half a second an eighth of a second a tenth i'm still struggling with my taste and smell so i was thinking this isn't right and then i thought george campbell played a trick on me so you had that thought while still brushing out here this is not right hey how many doctorate degrees do you have i forget yeah we don't do taste testing in grad school this is called being highly distracted and i can't criticize him because honestly it feels like that's something that i would do but we're keeping an eye on him folks because i'm half worried that any moment james he kills over because i'm pretty sure there's a warning on the hair gel bottle which by the way whose hair gel was it and who uses hair gel still well we do share an office with we share a dressing room with george campbell that's a whole new hair products back there there was a hairdryer back there's a whole thing but i thought you're going to blame it on dave that's another show dave is not a hairdryer guy believe it or not but he's not a hairdresser anyway i hope he makes it through the rest of the hour i don't think you're supposed to have that in your mouth it's got your help i dropped my body weight in listerine and i think we're good okay good but it was not great very good all right to the phones we go we'll keep an eye on him folks i think he's going to be all right angela joins us in lexington kentucky angela how can we help hi um thank you guys for taking my call and actually hoping that ken you would be on the show today because my question is uh specifically for you okay um and i work with some young adults and kids i'm a little bit older than them so i call them all kids um and i am trying to mentor them kind of sort of um to stay away from debt and things because i don't want them to have the same regrets that i have you know graduating college and going into you know their lives as adults um and so i here on the show sometimes you telling people kind of um what kind of questions to ask themselves as far as careers and and um like their purpose in life and things like that and so i'm setting up a uh library budget uh day kind of with some of them and so i wanted to ask those questions um so that i can kind of give them a better idea of what they want their futures to look like because some have an idea some don't um and some are just choosing college just to choose college and i'm like no don't do that yeah well so let me give you a very basic set of questions that really uh is it's the whole methodology that that i teach and this is how someone gets clear and this is how we take this big giant idea of purpose that seems so intimidating and so mythical and so hard to figure out and we simplify it so here are the questions what do they do best what do they do best that's talent every person on the planet was born with talent they'll acknowledge that so we want to just begin to have some fun conversations with them let's not make this big career-oriented conversation take the pressure off of young adults because they don't have a ton of life experience so we just start talking about what do you do best hard skills soft skills right so for one person they might be really gifted artistically right another person might be very good mechanically what do they do best that's a hard skill then the soft skills otherwise known as people skills so you've got hard skills and people skills what do they do best uh then the second question is what work do you love to do now again the younger the person the uh the more exploration they're going to have to do on this question because they don't have 10 years of work uh maybe they don't even have a degree yet as you've talked about they don't have a major so they're still trying to figure it out but what work do they love to do and i would break it down to task and function you know you think about doing work one day work that you think might be enjoyable or even in high school uh if you begin to wonder about it or you saw somebody else do something you saw them at career day even as an eighth grader you went that's interesting we want to begin to have the conversation and say what kind of work do you think you would enjoy doing just the task or the role itself and then finally what results do you want to put out in this world and all work create results so this is fun for somebody young because now we get away from career titles we get away from paths we just go what contribution would you like to make to the world through your work and there's there's a three-part question within this one okay i know i'm hitting you with a lot of questions but this is the key these questions allow people to make everything personal and so they dig who are the people they most want to help and when they begin to think of the people they most want to help they can also identify this what's the problem they have or the desire they have doesn't always have to be a problem could be a desire you know a 19 year old could say you know i want to help people that have a desire to look beautiful and so they could turn into a whole career esthetician cutting hair you know but whatever makeup artist whatever clothing designer so personal trainer personal trainer so we're looking at who are the people i most want to help the problem or desire those people have and then what's the solution to that problem or desire that i most get fired up about now when we start talking about that third little part the solution to the problem or the desire then the ideas about occupation begin to kind of surface and more importantly what i'm giving you here is a conversation starter and then a conversation returner have these conversations over and over have them put out real answers have them then talk to men and women that are that are doing the work that they're kind of throwing out there as maybes and i think the younger that you can get them thinking about this and exploring and discovering and talking to others that's going to be really really good and i would point you to our get clear career assessment we've got a 20 minute assessment online that if you're 19 18 19 you're still going to get some good from it even if you don't have a lot of work experience and you can get that at ramseysolutions.com and that's a wonderful little tool that'll give them a purpose statement a working purpose statement that's not in stone but they can begin to have a more detailed conversation that's great yeah so i appreciate the call and john i you know you you you were in the education industry you know part of the thing that i think i'm trying to fight through our traditional education model and this comes from culture and parents and parents are kind of getting it from culture is that we're sending kids off to colleges that have massive amounts of pressure to pick the right major and and just figure it all out and get the absolute best job right job out of college i get that there's nothing wrong with that but to me where we're eliminating the discovery that i think needs to happen from 18 to 21 and just diving deep on that simple of a conversation you know i remember when my son was in was in first grade they were talking about what college you're going to go to yeah it's nuts to me i was thinking he's learning numbers dude right right i was 35 i don't know what i want to do with my life back you know what i mean so yeah the pressure we put on people from ages six to yeah it's just bananas so that little simple process is just about by the way what you just said about i want to help people look their best you can become a chemist you can create the weight room equipment you can run a gym you can there's a thousand ways to solve that problem that's exactly right good stuff all right folks triple eight eight two five five two two five is the number your call's coming up next this is the range what makes our show unique is that we genuinely care about our listeners we're intentional about choosing the best advertisers to recommend blinds.com is no exception they offer high quality window treatments at unbelievable prices and they make it simple to shop blinds shades and interior shutters with easy online ordering free shipping and a guaranteed perfect fit go to blinds.com and take advantage of this week's special savings welcome back to the ramsey show thrilled that you are joining us my name is ken coleman joined by my colleague dr john deloney we are ramsey personalities thrilled to be with you this hour as we take your questions it's about your life your money your work uh relationships your health the whole nine yards we are here to help you out and uh i want to remind you that work isn't a four-letter word it doesn't have to suck it really doesn't we are in this great resignation where people are considering changing jobs and changing jobs because they want meaning in their work and our proven plan has helped thousands and captured all the details uh of the seven stages to doing work you love in my new book from paycheck to purpose the clear path to doing work you love you can pre-order today it is a proven clear path that will walk anyone in any industry with any experience through the step-by-step plan to finding meaningful work now if you pre-order today you get our get hired bonus pack for free which includes the resume templates the get hired digital course uh streaming access to our from paycheck to purpose live event a 30-day free trial to ramsey plus and so much more that's over a hundred dollars of free stuff so if you want to do work you love and make the move in 2022 go ahead and get ahead of the competition go to the online store at ramseysolutions.com and pre-order your copy of my new book from paycheck to purpose today for only twenty dollars when you do you get all that other amazing free stuff so go get it ramseysolutions.com all right the phone number is triple eight eight two five 825-5225 let's go to kansas city missouri where earl is waiting earl how can we help thanks for taking my call basically the question is this i'm a minister and i work in a non-profit organization um my question has to do with this uh you guys have a have an ethos there in in your uh with ramsey solutions i have a christian culture because i i hear you guys use a lot of phrases and whatnot so i can use some language that so when i say a servant chart you know exactly what i'm talking about my question has to do with what is the relationship of any between having a servant's heart and say not receiving a promotion that you thought or you should have received or being demoted from the position that you're in if your employer says yeah this is this is what happened but you need to have a servant chart about this how exactly is that process within that mode of thinking where are the lines how does that fit together so you know so you were demoted in a on a church staff and and and they said you need to handle this with a servant's heart is that what i'm hearing i'm i'm about possibly to be demoted yeah so i'm just i'm just trying to why are you being devoted why um changes in administration above me but but why are you being demoted other than changes with folks above me i don't know i'm not exactly sure i mean is it is it are they cutting back discipleship i'm sorry is it cutting back on costs they're trying to they're going a different leadership direction they don't you're not um performing it to the standards that they want it's saying a new a new leadership team came in there's more to it than that right and be honest what happened was basically an administrator um one position above me put forth a promotion for me to do a different job okay so right now i run a whole i run a whole program for men okay if i was to take this if i was to be put in this position i would only i would like do one third of the work that i that i was doing before i'm trying to be vague just in case okay i got it um so it's not a matter of my performance i can assure you of that but this one person put forth this uh this idea that we can put this person here and then we can have four people doing case management because right now i just don't do case management i do everything i teach a ton of classes i i do so many different things so but are you being asked to do more work for less money or are they just edging you out i'm i'm confused at what's happening i was trying not to be too specific because because the time constraint okay well okay go ahead so so basically there's a different program where clients go to for nine months after my program my program is six weeks long okay basically i assess what caused the homelessness usually it's addictions or mental disorders okay or a combination of both or other things then for the next weeks uh next six weeks i take care of discipling them telling them about christ teaching having them classes classes on addiction classes on many many different things okay i help them get all the things they need to be prepared for the next so is is the church saying that we don't want to do those things anymore no the church is saying we want to take your program and the next program and put them together okay so you no longer will run this program but you'll be a case manager right now there you go okay all right so right now i run the whole program right so earl here's here's my take on your your initial question john you weigh in here but earl uh it feels manipulative to to me to that's christian ease i grew up in the church so i feel like i can say this um you can have a servant's heart you should have a servant's heart we should all have a servant's heart okay but you still have a heart and this is the motion and you don't like it and it's obvious and you don't have to like it now what you have to decide though is they've made this decision sounds like it's being made and i've got to decide can i serve there can i get my head and heart right after i deal with this disappointment and do i feel like i'm supposed to be there do i feel called to this particular place versus i know the work that i love to do and what i'm called to do so i don't like the way it sounds uh because the bottom line is this feels kind of crappy and uh you're gonna have to decide do i wanna stay here because of this now don't leave because you're hurt i think you need to leave if you feel like the work i'm supposed to be doing the work that i'm challenged by i'm not able to do here anymore so i'm going to look elsewhere but to answer your question at its simplest form how do you process that you can have a servant's heart and still think it's pretty crappy yeah be heartbroken and be angry and pissed off and frustrated the servant's heart part yeah and i agree with you it's manipulative that's just nonsense yeah it's manipulative nonsense i hate that crap the reality is though you can have all those feelings and experiences you still have an obligation to treat people with dignity and respect that's right and you still have to deal with reality yeah and the reality is you worked really hard this was your baby you loved it and a new group of managers came in and said we're gonna we're gonna contract everything together and move you into a different role and so heartbreaking it's hard sad it feels personal it's going to be vulnerability shame all stuff and you're going to say uh i appreciate you being honest with me and telling me that and i've got some decisions to make that's right ta-da yeah and it's harder it's more complex than that but it's not it isn't and don't blow up the bridge but you know the you don't have to not say you know or push back and if there is some and if and and i i'm reading into this john i am too i've been there too i hate okay but if the decision has yet to be made and if they were just going you need to handle this with a servant's heart and they're going don't push back well don't ask questions or you can ask questions and you should and you can still have a humble spirit and you can be civil and ask questions and push back but it just felt like to me it was a blanket statement yeah that was just like hey dude here's the deal yeah you don't get any say in this um which i understand leaders have to make decisions but to put up don't kill when you make a business decision in a non-profit and then you wrap people's human reaction and make it a moral or spiritual issue drives me crazy because it's weaponizing yes thank you it's weaponizing kindness it's weaponizing the gospel it's weaponizing yeah um humanity don't do that if you're gonna make a business decision look at somebody and say you've worked really hard and we appreciate it we're going a different direction and let me just throw a shot at leaders out there don't you dare whether it's a faith-based organization or not don't you dare treat people like crap and wrap it in the flag of the cause so stupid it's nice she got me all fired up here earl thinks i was having a great wednesday and then earl calls i'm glad you called man thanks a lot yeah earl you'll get through this man do not let this decision in any way define you and treat people with dignity and respect brother no matter what happens he is john dolone i'm kid coleman this is the ramsay show welcome back to the ramsey show where we take your questions about your life your money your work relationships and so on and so forth i am ken coleman joined by my colleague dr john delaney we're taking your calls it is a free phone call triple eight eight two five five two two five triple eight eight two five five two two five and uh through the uh very heavy glass here in the studio in the lobby i see john over there on the debt free stage john welcome thank you it's good to be here i appreciate it where are you from pittsburgh pennsylvania pittsburgh all right all the way here to do a debt-free screen yes fantastic all right give us the numbers how much debt did you pay off 184 673 dollars and how long did that take uh five years oh wow and give me a range of income uh started at 54.6 and right now i'm just shy of 90. hello talk to me about that what did you do to get the uh the old jump in the pay uh well uh hard work got a couple promotions uh with a prior job and then uh covid was one of the better things that happened i got furloughed for five months and laid off with about two weeks notice and uh now i have a better position uh making a lot more money a great culture and uh it's just kind of happening so wow congratulations yeah it's true that the income definitely uh goes up as you're going yes sir you've got a much bigger shovel that is a beautiful thing all right tell us about the debt what kind of debt are we talking about it was mainly student loans 118 2 of it was student loans i had a jeep payment i had a home equity loan i had two credit cards uh and then i had a couple medical bills uh some home repairs i know you mentioned earlier someone mentioned their air conditioning went out mine also went out so uh not a need uh but or not a want i should say but oh yeah it worked out what did you study 118 000 worth of uh not as much as you but uh i my undergraduate is so you have friends and relationships fancy you know what i'm saying no but you have a social life real cool john a little bit yeah who knew um undergrad is in hospitality from penn state and my master's degree is from robert morris university with in human resource management okay okay great and what are you doing now i'm a corporate trainer oh yeah so i work for a healthcare robotics company good for you yeah awesome wow so five years ago you start this journey what led to it what was the the catalytic moment if there was one uh my mom and i we i've been in debt my whole life and um i actually got very fortunate i got a promotion which was going to make me travel 80 of the time so i realized i said companies gonna be paying for 80 of my expenses where's all this money coming from and uh i learned of dave ramsey and i took fpu in 2012 and as you say i failed it i didn't really uh really do i did the barely even dave ish and when i got the new job i sat down with my friend kristen and i ended up being her first client did my first budget i had fifteen hundred dollars left over and i said where's this money coming from that was august 11 2016 and i said where is this money coming from and she said you're putting it on paper before it happens and light bulb it just it just went off and i said i need to do this i didn't have any hope up until that point and um once it you know once i did that and i had that much money left it yeah it's on it was awesome kristin was a financial coach uh she wasn't i was her first client and now she's full-time i was actually here for enrichment ken we talked uh and john you also pointed to me yesterday yeah so oh yeah i remember your question you got a little bit of emotion right there yeah yeah thinking about it what's that coming from just it's it's it's finally happened you know and and i'm there and i can i can now you know do some things that i haven't really ever been able to do yeah like what and uh well not worry for one there we go that day as soon as i did that budget i paid my first credit card off it was 996 dollars i paid that off the next day and i had had that for years i couldn't pay it 25 a month i couldn't pay it and i paid the next day and it just blew me away so not worrying about money it was completely gone uh i use every dollar every single day i just bought both of your books back there by the way that was a good decision i wanted to i hear it was i hear it was yeah so um and uh you know debit card those credit cards are cut up uh i i think what are you dreaming about though i i just censored some big old dreams yeah if our two books are the top your dream list you're not dreaming big enough brother they're close they're they're they're yeah they're close they're close uh you know i was in enrichment this week and one of the things we talked about is go from here to there and dreaming and having those goals set up and and it's a lot um it's very high on my priority list just to not have that money worry i am very fortunate i've had very people very fortunate in my life to help me i like to give back so i'm very involved in my rotary club and my masonic lodge so being able to give back and that you know outrageous generosity to me is very important so that's one of the things i really am looking forward to doing and increasing as i move forward and and i know it's kind of cliche enjoying life but man some of the things that i know i can do down the road and and helping people and some cool vacations uh i may or may not want to buy an 82 or an 86 jeep cj7 come on man we'll see we'll see i love the classic cars yeah yeah so that's one of my dream cars so i'm looking forward to some things like that a little bit of material but most of it is just being able to give back and have you had that moment where all your bills are paid and the check deposited and you're just staring at it in your online account have you had it prior to all of this no no no when did you hit hit send on your last payment uh december 10th okay mother's birthday oh september september 10th about two weeks ago oh okay so you haven't had the october check that the whole thing lands and you got nowhere to send it not yet um it hasn't really it's all yours man and here it is yeah that's gonna be a special moment very cool yeah we're proud of you brother absolutely so talk to people what's the key in your mind for your journey to get there uh number one is the budget uh i mentioned every dollar i use that all the time even if you're not using that find a way to do the budget and stick to it and and for me it's constant motivation and and uh having those accountability partners my friend kristen recupero she and i talk very often when i'm kind of struggling uh and frankly i listen to all of you here i listen to podcast every day and it just kind of helps me i tear up a little bit and get good goosebumps when i hear all the other debt-free screams there's one earlier i heard and gave us some high fives so that for me to help keep me going is saying especially being single it's nice to have that those accountability partners in your life friends and family and and some people quote-unquote perfect strangers on a radio that i haven't met until recently talking about their stories so to me that's that's very important well i love that yeah dude there's something about the community mm-hmm yeah it's everything right other people are your emergency fund for life yeah did you get involved in a class at some point in this journey as well i took fpu and 12 as i mentioned and then i'm also a coordinator i have another class starting october did you take it again or you just kind of remembered it all and you were like i'm going to make this happen i just remember it all i still have all the materials yeah just just listening to the podcast it kind of helps remind me of that and then obviously coordinating i'm basically taking it again so that's awesome yeah well thank you for doing that that is so great so you've listened to a lot of debt-free screams i have i have and you've gotten chills and some emotion and now you're standing there on the stage this is a pretty big deal well here's the deal we want to give you two things uh we want to give you a copy of dave's book the legacy journey because that's the next step in the chapter for you really about building legacy and you already kind of begin to detail how you're dreaming about how the how the impact is going to change from your life because of your financial freedom and then we're going to give you a copy of dave's wildly best-selling book total money makeover for you to gift to somebody else and uh we were really really excited that you came here to do your debt free scream you ready to go i am you've earned all my life you've earned it all right here we go john uh from pittsburgh pennsylvania paid off 184 thousand dollars in five years making fifty four thousand to then ninety thousand dollars john this is your moment let's hear your debt free screen i'm gonna break your microphone here let's do it bring it on homie let's do this two one i'm debt-free we need a chair and a table to break don't you think john that would have been fun what a great story hey john mentioned ramsey certified financial coaches he did we got a bunch of them in the lobby that's right so if if you were wondering hey i want someone to walk alongside and i know it's embarrassing to say i i hear how to make a budget i get it it's a math problem and it's a planning problem i need someone to walk alongside me i don't want someone i can text throughout a week go to ramseysolutions.com and look up ramsey certified coaches they're an incredible crew of people unbelievable they will walk alongside you in your journey and you will end up here in nashville tennessee on the deaf free stage that's right john and i had the privilege of speaking with uh that group at a great event here this week uh as well as getting to hang out with them and they are on the front lines man they have incredible men and women who have truly the heart of the teacher they walk the journey and they'll help you they are invaluable great great point go get yourself a financial coach it is a game changer everybody needs a coach all right don't move for the ramsey show coming right up after the break so welcome back to the ramsay show america where we talk about you your life where you want to be your hopes your dreams your challenges we are here for you i'm ken coleman joined by my colleague john delony and it is a free call for you to jump in triple eight eight two five five two two five that's triple eight eight two five five two two five if there's one thing john that 2020 taught us about is investing it's this you can't do it alone you need somebody in your life who knows the market better than you and helps you make smart decisions uh we both love do-it-yourselfers right i love these shows i'm always jealous of these folks that can do anything themselves because i barely can you know just to get dressed and get out of the house is is a big feat for me but when there's a global crisis if you try to do it yourself and you invest in the wrong things you get caught up in the trends you're going to make rookie mistakes and if you build a portfolio based on what you read on reddit oh my word folks you don't need the unnecessary stress like that in your life so never again let your investments be at the mercy of some global crisis get some people in your corner who know what they're doing text the word invest to three three seven eight nine text the word invest to three three seven eight nine all right to the phones we go billings montana whitney is there whitney how can we help i have a question on our business side of things okay so husband and i have a trucking company that we started a year ago and we started out with a ten thousand dollar semi and just him and i and we have a trailer payment and then we bought another truck on top of it and we are have 20 000 on the trailer 44 000 on the new truck and in personal trucking or in the trucking right now we have 33 000 and i'm wanting to pay off the trailer but wondering if that's a good idea or not why would it not be a good idea we believe in paying off all debt you don't want to be underneath that so what's um work is work is definitely busy but relying on income on a personal business i think sometimes you're waiting two to three months before you get paid you just gave me more reason why you should not be leveraged owing other people money you guys just started this thing why do you have two trucks keep one going so you borrowed money for two trucks in a trailer one just in case something happens to the other one and so you know the first truck is paid off the first target was we only bought that ten thousand dollars paid cash for it and it's an old truck you know i mean that might break down a lot okay but if how much is it how much does it cost you to fix on average you've got some kind of track record here where you can say well over the last three months we spent x amount of dollars on repairs to this truck the last three months on both trucks we have we have put in over 40 000 in repairs over i'm sorry did you say 40 000 yep for what uh a rebuild on the motor um differentials on both of them uh eight pumps on one of them and it never occurred you occurred to you to sell one of these trucks oh well we can't when one's broke down and we're using the other one as income so you don't even have the cash to fix the one that you own outright am i getting this right oh no the one that we own outright is still running okay then the one that we owe on is the one that is broke down and we do not know why it is so whitney here's what you've got whitney hold on you all have created a big giant mess and now you're spending precious energy precious relational capital precious money trying to solve this mess that y'all created and well and then there was another wrench thrown in the plan our oldest son is diagnosed with brain cancer that's right it's a it's there's too much chaos in your world hun to have all these payments and all this well we need to keep this one in case that one breaks down and then the one that you got as the emergency vehicles the one that you're spending 30 grand on it's a lot yeah but to answer your original question yes sell one of these trucks pay off your trailer owe nobody anything even if it cost you a day or two in earnings just do the math on what it costs to hold another truck uh without any earnings against it you're just got too much the one that we owe oh yes is the one that's broke down that's right sell the truck yeah you're gonna have to you gotta slow down you gotta back out of this we gotta fix this you guys jumped into this thing and you had some mechanical problems i get that i mean that's murphy's law it happens um but you have so much else going on and that that little boy is everything to you guys and this trucking business is not the only way you all can make a living so i know you got a lot going on but i want you to consider that wait a second we're gonna have to circle the wagons as a family and go through this incredibly i i don't even understand what you're dealing with i couldn't possibly unless i had walked through it but i just know that there's other ways for you all to make money and if we have to press pause on the trucking company or we scale it back to the one that is working and we're just going to only do what we can do there we have got to get stable and you've got to get this debt cleaned up and you got to get out of this thing you guys can always get back in it you can always ramp it back up but do it cash like you did on the first truck i would sell that second truck pay off the trailer yeah and you're gonna have an old truck that's yours and if it breaks down you know anybody any money in the gap and but right now it's not breaking down it's the newer one that you bought as the insurance against the old one that's breaking down on you and like ken said you've just had a tornado you get a bomb go off in the middle of your home which is a really scary diagnosis and this is going to take some clarity some clear thinking some simplification of a whole bunch of stuff because now you're going to get a real clear picture of what matters and it's that little boy and like ken said if that means one of you has to take another job that's got health insurance one of you's got to stop the dream we have on the road everything changes now you are all different now everything so you got to sit down and say where are we who are we and then what's the little steps going to be look like moving forward yeah and please hear us neither one of us said whitney that the dream is dead we're saying we got to scale back or pause completely we can get back on this thing you've learned so many lessons from this but yes get out of debt get this thing cleaned up as quick as you can and uh there'll be another day the storm is over you right now and um you got to deal with the storm and we don't need to add any elements to the storm it's bad enough as it is that's uh heartbreaking john i mean it's it's hard to think clearly too you know you got all this complexity this business this brand new business it's still a baby business yeah and all of a sudden your baby comes down with something that just shocks everything your whole world yeah shocks it i tend to over complicate things by trying to over plan for contingencies which is a it's a fear of losing control and then a good example is you know having 50 different passwords for every login and making sure those are all written over here and that password is over i end up making everything so complex that i can't function and that's a simple obnoxious way but they started an awesome business they had a dream and my guess is that somebody made fun of them about their old truck somebody was like that's what you're driving or that thing's gonna break down you better be ready you're gonna lose a big load and so they got enough of that in their year that they wouldn't bought a truck that they couldn't afford and then that's the one that's broke down keep things simple when you're starting don't owe people money people don't understand how freeing that is yeah and um yeah get a group of people around you to rally around your son's gonna be in it for the long haul yep but i will tell you there are options folks yep there are options to make more money to get through any money crisis you need right now so go to work do whatever you got to do and stabilize and give us if we can ever help you with you give us a call yeah absolutely all right i want to thank our producer james chiles our associate producer kelly daniel want to thank my colleague dr john maloney i want to thank you america you're the reason we do the show this is your show it is the ramsay show hey it's kelly associate producer and phone screener for the ramsay show if you would like to do your debt free scream live on the show make sure you visit theramsieshow.com and register we would love for you to come to nashville and tell dave your story this is the ramsay show you can be intentional about your character you can have money and a career you are the hero in your story live from the headquarters of ramsey solutions broadcasting from the dollar car rebel studio this is the ramsey show it's where america hangs out to have a conversation about your life and your money we'll talk also about your work your relationships the whole nine yards we're here to help you and give you hope and a clear path forward i'm ken coleman joined by my colleague john delony the phone number to jump in is triple eight eight two five five two two five that's triple eight eight two five five two two five let's go to austin texas where michelle joins us michelle how can we help thank you for taking my call so i had a question just regarding my roommates situation the past year has been a real roller coaster and the lease is coming up to an end on sunday my uh roommate isn't uh communicating with me and hasn't paid her september rent still and it's the 22nd now so i'm just and she's blocked me so i'm just wondering how to kind of go about this situation um and like i don't know if i should confront her in person or yes what really to do i'm gonna jump ahead in front of john on that one yes literally my question was is she still sleeping in the same place brick your door like how do you block somebody in real life y'all live in the same room and you answered it for me should you talk to in person god almighty please help all of us yes yes um so i've actually moved out um and i think she's moving the rest of her stuff out today but i know you're guessing just go over and have a human interaction a polite respectful dignified one and if she acts like a maniac or a jerk you can say hey you don't have permission to talk to me that way um here is a letter that says here's your notice that you're going to be moving out and then you have peace in your heart and you go around about your day but you have so much chaos in your heart because you don't have real information because you haven't had a real human conversation with another real human what happened yeah um like what happened what happened with you two to where you feel like you can't just go hey look we don't have to like each other uh we're certainly not gonna live together anymore but can you be a big girl put your big girl pants on and pay your part of the rent like what happened to where you're so terrified of that um she's just a very mean and ugly person i've confronted her about things um in person before and it got really ugly so like that's kind of why i'm i'm scared yeah so let me let me say this are you are you unsafe um just like just her words are super super hurtful okay so there's a there is a middle ground between no communication and the words you use you you've used it a couple of times which is to confront the gap in between is just a conversation yeah that can start instead of hey you haven't paid rent what's been going on why'd you block me hey are you okay how how are you i haven't talked to you in a long time and i want to i miss talking to you are you okay i care about you yeah in one of those conversations your body responds it dumps adrenaline cortisol into your bloodstream you start uptaking glucose because your body's ready to fight somebody and there's a you don't have to get there if you're not safe if you think you're going to get hurt physically don't show up there when you took on a business arrangement with somebody you took on that discomfort you need to have that conversation and if she says mean things you can turn around and walk away in person and say you're not going to talk to me that way thank you very much yeah and then be on about your day yeah and here's the deal john's absolutely right and if you do all the things he tells you and she still comes at you hot you can't fix that no she's trying to make this difficult for her own reasons and maybe some of she doesn't even know why she's doing it that's john's area but i'll say this i would stay very calm and say look there are repercussions to this i'm going to pay my part you got to pay your part i'm not going to bother you ever again i'm not trying to get in your business i hope you're okay i hope you're okay i i'm so sorry for anything that i've done just go real blanket here really easy and just go hey we just you need to do this thing so i'm just trying to facilitate you let's get a clean fresh start and if you've already moved out yeah then walk away if you've moved out and you signed this lease and subleased it yeah then you owe that money yeah you can sue her for it you can go through all the drama or you can learn a hard lesson yeah and you can move on about your day yeah and and again you hear me again our voices check like you can get amped up nobody makes good decisions when they're amped up calm as contagious coming in low as you possibly can and say here's the reality of our situation and let's move on with their day yeah yeah and and john let me ask you this because from a professional standpoint when she does that she takes the power away from this gal this gal's definitely made a power play the nastiness and all that whether she's hurting or not it's a power play yeah and it's working i mean michelle's really really hurt that's right she's shaken up i'm not gonna give i'm not gonna give somebody that level of power over my life i agree i'm not gonna let the guy driving next to me who i is just cut me off i'm not gonna give him access to my blood pressure i'm not yeah i'm not gonna give him access to being angry and yelling at my kids when i get home because i'm all amped up and fired up because someone didn't drive the way i wanted them to i'm not gonna give them that access to me if they put me in a position where they want to fight me i'm going to walk away because i'm a grown-up you know what i mean like i'm not going to engage in that that's just a waste of my time and energy and so i get to control what i'm bringing to this situation and the only other option outside of that is i need to get something out of that house and i'm going to be i am in danger of being physically harmed that's right then i'm gonna bring the police away that's right yeah other than that i'm just not gonna give people access to me in that yeah and that's what and so if that's easier said than done but we've got absolutely we've got to detach ourselves in this situation michelle's got to detach herself from all the mean and hurtful things and realize she's playing me yeah i don't have to know everything i have to be a psychiatrist and figure it out what i do know is she's playing me she's been nasty i can't fix that i need her rent or else i'm on the line a lot of folks who get engaged with somebody who's nasty is whether it's a boss whether it's a spouse whether it's a roommate and we spend a lot of energy wondering why what it is about us that is invoking the nasty what is it about me that is making you treat me this way and that's a wrong way to approach a relationship issue that's me thinking i'm deficient and i'm trying to get you to solve it and the uh the way to flip that on its head is to say i'm a person of dignity you're gonna treat me with respect and you're not gonna talk to me in this way and if you are yelling at me that means you've got an issue not me because see that's great does that make sense it's not my problem to solve for you it makes total sense but i think that most of us screw that up yeah if you have a boss that's treating you like a jerk you kind of go away now if your boss calls you in and says the work you turned in is garbage it's not good you need to up then that's your problem to solve yeah but if they yell at you they belittle you they act like that's their problem and the decision from this point over is your choice to make right that's good boy that's really good and that's how you kind of take that attack it's not giving you that let's sting so much and since this is the ramsay show you know an awesome way to detach yourself is not owe anybody anything and have a fully funded emergency fund yeah and don't rely on a roommate if you don't have to i'm gonna walk away that keeps it pretty good stuff all right folks don't move more of your phone calls coming up he is john dolone i'm ken coleman and this is the ramsay show we were drawn to christian healthcare ministries because we both had young families and we wanted to have more children and we had also just started a real estate company and needed to find health care coverage that would meet our needs we were attracted to chm because of its low monthly costs and the ability to negotiate medical costs down established in 1981 and accredited by the better business bureau chm is here to meet the needs of your growing family or small business check us out at chministries.org backslash budget we absolutely believe in it welcome back to the ramsay show where you get answers where you get a clear path where you get hope to move forward in your life we're thrilled that you've joined us i'm ken coleman joined by my colleague john delony the phone number to jump in is triple eight eight two five five two two five triple eight eight two five five two two five let's go to raleigh north carolina where trey joins us trey how can we help hello trey all right we will put trailers trey's like i'm thinking about this question for a moment and uh i'm too impatient so now let's go to um oh is trey back is trey back all right we're gonna try it again hello trey hey how's it going guys fantastic how can we help good good um i need you i need a little bit of help here um we all do man we all do what's up and i'm in the security industry and um i've managed to you know get great well with city job um great benefits and pay and after about two years i realized that i'm in the wrong role i'm not able to showcase my best skills um i've applied for those particular jobs and promotions and um wasn't selected for an interview not even within my own department but with it being a state you know job and benefits and the pay is higher um here than other companies in my area um for what i do um i'm 25 and i don't know what to what to do but i'm not happy in this in this role okay well let's start with that you're not happy in this role which you know there could be a myriad of reasons um but let's focus on the big reason are you not happy in the role because of the environment the people around you maybe your leader other things there's not much opportunity there or you're not happy in the role because you really truly want to do something else there's something missing in your work what's the real driving force yeah i would say that it's uh it's it's so there's some things going on um in in the environment um but i think for the role that i do i'm more of a human to human interaction you know i love helping people um and i'm just not able to you know to do that um kind of just in one spot trey i know this is kid's kid's sweet spot but a lot of security positions especially with city is got a lot to do with seniority is the fact that you're 25 and you've been doing this for a few months or a year or two is that playing into these folks who are getting these promotions have just been there longer than you or have you got some feedback i'm not good at this you don't have the skill set yet um one of them came in around the same time as me and uh well we came in together okay um and they were you know they kind of you know got you know we're promoted and um things like that and um you know i pretty much give everything well not everything but i give a lot 110 percent um you know to the job and yeah that's stressful but here's the deal you don't have the juice you like doing people-facing stuff my guess is you're you're good at people skills right you love people you like working with people you're good at people what would you say to that yes absolutely all right then so if you're doing that and you know you're not happy i'm sure you've let your mind wonder a little bit not wander i mean wonder what are you wondering about what would you do what would you try where the it's kind of where the hiccup comes i know i deal with this all the time but but don't hiccup hiccup means you've had a thought or two but then something derails you i just want you to know without any kind of fear of failure or anything else what would you try tomorrow i said try not commit the rest of your life to what would you try if you knew you couldn't fail it was people related work what would you do oh man um i would help the youth you would help the youth now we're getting somewhere help you tell me tell me what kind what's going on how would you help them what would you be helping them with a desire they have or a challenge they're facing um i would say i would say both um i i've gotten a lot of feedback from you know from people with being my age and you know saying that i have a great head on my shoulders and um you know not into a lot of you know different things i kind of think things through before i you know before i do them and look at it from all angles so let's get more specific a lot of people have come to me good so let's get more specific i want you to tell me when you said youth you had a snapshot in your mind it was a polaroid all right now i want you to tell me what are the problems and challenges they're facing the desires they have be super specific give me 30 seconds on that go um just not feeling as though um you know they can they can make it you know out of their particular situation okay what situation is this poverty is it abuse alcoholism in their home talk to me yeah i would say you know i would say poverty um you know or because they grew up a certain you know a certain way um that there isn't a better way okay out there all right now i want you to keep feeling your answer you're doing a great job i feel like we're in your heart here we're not in your head i don't want you in your head stay in your heart for a moment where are those kids at where are those kids hanging out in raleigh north carolina who's serving them a lot of them are on the streets yeah a lot of them just are scared yeah where are they though are they in public schools in certain areas or are those kids you've got a good snapshot of them are they hanging out at the ymca are they hanging out with government programs talk to me where are they um a lot of them actually i'm a big goer of the ymca and you kind of hit that one right on the nail around the head oh that was a total yeah a lot a lot of them yeah a lot of them are are there okay all right now we're gonna move really quick i want john to jump in too but how much money do you make right now um about 40 about 40 000. okay 40 thousand dollars all right here's here's the exercise for you okay and i didn't tell you you're gonna do this i said this is an exercise i want you to have a homework assignment to look into how many jobs in the raleigh north carolina area pay near forty thousand dollars it could be 45 could be 38. i want you to to just do the research where those kids are hanging out who's serving those kids so i look at the ymca and i go is the ymca hiring if they're not hiring doesn't matter what are the positions at the ymca what do they pay because they may not be hiring now but they may hire in six months and i'm gonna get over there and use the proximity principle uh what government programs local municipality county government state government uh maybe some federal fund what non-profits christian organizations are serving those kids and what positions do they have and what do they pay that's where you at least have to start are you tracking with me yes sir because if i told you trey that john could call somebody in raleigh north carolina today and you were going to be serving those kids and you were going to make 40 000 how quickly would you say yes to that in no time in the blink of an eye there you go so trey i'm not saying this is going to happen overnight probably won't may not happen in the next month or two but can you get into this kind of work where you are loving on kids face to face knee to knee and pouring into kids that you've got some connection to is it possible trey that you can make forty thousand dollars or change your lifestyle to be able to do it and live comfortably on thirty five if you were helping those kids can you do this trey yes i could are you going to do it yes i am my man ken how many people do you see get trapped with this is what i do in his case i work security yep and then they try to cram who and what they love doing through that lens instead of as you just put you just unbraided it for him really what you want to do is help kids yeah you can do that as a high school basketball coach you can do that as in the ymca social social worker is a counselor you can do it a thousand ways or one of the ways you can do it is being a police officer working security but take the lenses off yeah and reverse engineer this thing yeah but it really comes down to who are the people you want to help yeah what's the problem they have or the desire they have i had my house i wanted to help people with mental health and i i only was looking at it through colleges and i'll never forget dave said john right now you helped thousands what if we wanted you want to help millions yeah and it changed my picture i'm doing the same thing i'm just in a different kind of different environment it's always about who are the people i want to help what's the problem they have that i want to solve what's the solution to solve that problem that fires my soul up stop making it so specific all right don't move more of your calls coming up this is the ramsay show the ramsey show continues as we take your calls about your life i'm ken coleman joined by my colleague john dolone the number is triple eight eight two five five two two five that's triple a eight two five five two two five how many times in the past year have you heard someone say i just wish things would get back to normal but what was normal like for you were you worried about money too much to do not enough time to do it you shouldn't have to go back to that when there's so much better ahead for you but to get the life you want you need the right game plan so ramsey solutions got a free live stream event on september the 28th entitled game plan live dave ramsey christy wright george campbell will be laying out the clear plan to make all of your money goals happen like how to find a vision that gets you excited setting healthy boundaries that keep you focused you can have the abundant balanced debt-free life you want and it all starts at game plan live to register for this free live stream text game plan to 33789 that's game plan all one word two three three seven eight nine all right uh let's go to ben in chicago who is on the line to do a debt free scream ben how are you i'm good how about you well we're doing good but you're doing great so talk to us how much debt did you pay off i paid off 45 177 dollars in 15 months wow getting it ben way to go man come on man now what was your range of income during that time started at 45 000 and got up to 63 000. so 63 wow what'd you do to get the bump uh i got a promotion which helped with most of that and then also i was doing some side work repping some jiu jitsu events oh nice reffing jiu jitsu events what just curious what does that pay per event or is it an hourly thing how does that work it's per event so it should be in the range of like 175 250 depending on which event you're going to i love it and what do you do for a living i work in marketing so i'm a sales analyst for a children's book publisher awesome so i'm just curious give me the quick version of how what you did to get promoted yeah so i started there just more in like a general role uh which was just kind of like as a sales assistant and within that role i was doing some side work i was trying to figure out where there were some holes in the company where they could use some help with things and i had a pretty good background in excel so i was building some reports for them and they realized that i had a skill with that so when our role opened up for a name for an analyst job in the amazon team like you know ben did really well with this other stuff i think he can help us here nice i love it man now john that right there is maximizing your role he's looking for other areas to add value to the company and it led to a promotion he didn't sit there and whine and say why aren't i not getting promoted i'm not getting promoting look for a whole solves it and it feels like vanilla ice yeah i checked out the hook while the dj revolved it good for you nice i love anytime we could get vanilla ice in a show our work is done here uh ben that is so fantastic man really proud of you okay so tell us what was the debt consisting of uh about 5 000 of the 45 was for a car loan and the rest was student loans okay great 40k all right so what kind of car you got uh 2017 hyundai elantra all right come on now all right so 15 months ago you're a young guy uh what led to this debt-free journey for you what was the catalytic moment or feeling or circumstance what happened yeah so earlier than that i was just getting an audible subscription i saw dave ramsey's name come up a bunch and i didn't find any of his books then but at least i like recognized like this guy seems to know what it's all about in the financial space so he had a free podcast started listening made a lot of sense so i was like you know what i think i'm actually going to go after this and do what he's talking about awesome and so how quickly into the 15 month journey did you go oh this is definitely working i i got some momentum i can do this i mean right away i had about ten thousand dollars in savings so just like getting down to baby step one and seeing the car go away immediately was pretty nice yeah you're a jiu jitsu player you're always thinking three or four moves ahead right and you know how to be uncomfortable to uh accomplish a goal that's fantastic which incidentally uh ben uh how long would it take you to wrap me up in a pretzel i mean not long dad i'm just telling you right now you're not gonna hurt my feelings we know the answer how quick is it like 20 seconds no chance three at the most three seconds you're a good guy i would have no reason to do that oh no i thought it wasn't about that it was just how quickly can you do it you're being very nice uh okay ben so uh you got the jump start on the ten thousand dollars you knocked the car out so you really did get a big jump start what would you say to somebody young who's dealing with just the kind of normal debt that you had what would you tell them yeah i mean it seems like it's not that big of a deal because you're just looking at it in terms of payments but when you actually look at how much you're paying to interest which you're basically getting nothing out of that um you got to see how much you're paying an interest and it's going to make you mad and you're going to want to pay as fast as you can so you can limit how much interest you're paying because you're really not getting anything in exchange for it so this is more of a somebody's taking something from me issue and i want my i want what's mine back yeah love it yeah he's got a warrior mentality he does there's no message that you guys do that's why jiu jitsu is the greatest sports unbeliever i know i knew you were going to be very excited i love it yeah great stuff well ben tell people what the key is what's the key to finishing this journey yeah just staying focused and making sure that you have goals to set and things to keep you motivated so it was nice when i had like the car when i could pay off and it's nice when you have the debt snowball but since i had like a giant loan of like forty thousand dollars and i couldn't really like complete a loan i had to like put a little poster on my wall for every thousand dollars and have something to cross off every time i crossed a thousand dollars so it just kept me motivated the whole way through that's fantastic good for you man and how old are you ben 30 years old my goodness so you are on your way we've got two things uh two books we want to send you uh to celebrate you one is dave's uh book entitled the legacy journey because that really is the next step for you is you become a baby steps millionaire and you're just gonna do some amazing things young man and create a legacy so we're gonna give that to you and then we're going to give you a copy of dave's book total money makeover for you to give to somebody else that hopefully will kick-start their debt-free journey so we want to do that for you so thank you for sharing your story with us thank you are you ready to roll oh yeah all right this is over there's a jiu jitsu reference there well done ken i didn't even know i made it what did i say you ready to roll rolling is the vernacular for hey you want to go to the gym and roll that's a jiu jitsu reference ken is a ninja everybody i am a ninja and didn't know it no surprise to anybody of that all right well you're a great young man ben we're so proud of you here you go ben from chicago illinois paid off 45 000 in 15 months making 45 to 63 000 ben this is your moment take it away let's hear a debt-free scream three two one i'm debt-free quick like a chop to the throat dude he got in there yeah rear naked choke fight's over match is over yeah yeah no time to even tap out take down armbar yeah yeah we're done messing around nope i love it ben doesn't mess around at all what a fantastic story huh and whether it's 45 000 or 450 000 the the plan is the same yeah make a decision yeah get after it yeah i you know i love when we all you know when we ask that question everybody's got you know their different spin on it and i think you nailed it for him it was like wait a second i looked at that interest deal and he's like uh uh i'm paying that company yeah you nailed it what are we doing yeah i don't i don't want my i don't want to pay them as a service to pay somebody else for me i'm just going to cut out the middle man i'll do it myself it didn't just speak to the the crazy importance and value of figuring out your why whatever it is yeah if you want to get an extra degree if i want my money yeah if you want to lose weight yeah if you want to have more romance in your mind you better find that why that what's that driving force and own it yeah because it's powerful i've i always i've not always i've been wondering for the last year or two as i've said on these can take these calls take these calls what's so hard about getting to why and i think if we allow ourselves to look in the mirror and answer that why question there's no going back you're right and you burn these ships box yourself into a corner when you see your your child's face or the one that hasn't been born yet or that you've got personal dignity you need to stand up for yourself or you're married or whatever the thing happens to be if you sit down and you develop a picture for why you can't go back there is no going back it's burn the ships or you gotta look in the mirror every day and say i'm choosing i'm choosing to uh that's the truth not love as deeply as i could and we can't do that you nailed it get a why it puts you through the corner because every day you don't do it you go yeah it's an affirmative choice to hurt those we love good stuff all right don't go anywhere more of your calls coming up on the ramsay show welcome back to the ramsey show i'm ken coleman joined by my colleague john deloney and we are here for you triple eight eight two five five two two five today's scripture titus two seven through eight in everything set them an example by doing what is good in your teaching show integrity seriousness and soundness of speech that cannot be condemned so that those who oppose you may be ashamed because they have nothing bad to say about us today's quote from the seventh president of the united states tennessee boy andrew jackson one man with courage makes a majority you know john i gotta tell i i'm a history buff kelly daniel our associate prisoner she's a big history buff as well i got to tell this quick story about andrew jackson so kelly i don't know if you've heard this story but the audience will love this this isn't a boring history story i'm literally already asleep but i continue well that's because you're i'm just kidding go ahead so andrew jackson in his old age as president was once approached by a man who tried to assassinate him in a group of people this is in washington d.c and the man pulled out a revolver think about how long ago this was and click click it doesn't fire he pulls out a second one and fires it doesn't go off by this point jackson now realizes i can take this guy he's an old man and literally a bum rush is the guy in front of the public with his cane and beats the man almost to death so there's a little andrew jackson story if you're gonna fire at andrew j i mean he literally in front people had to pull him off of the guy guys trying to assassinate the president he just goes and just beat him it was fascinating so i'd picture somebody doing that to dave can i be honest i i would see dave doing that if you tried to shoot dave you didn't get it you know you know he wouldn't beat you just shoot you back yeah i think yeah he doesn't have a cane no no cane but i think that's a fantastic andrew jackson story so he was president yeah at the time he was a actual president when it happened this is the old days dude it's the wild west you know what i mean someone could just walk up there wasn't secret service so there you go all right uh i don't know if anybody's life is better for that but uh i gave it to you and there's a great story for your next cocktail party in tennessee uh it's a great connector for our financial coach you come to tennessee you meet somebody from tennessee there's your icebreaker you're welcome now they're gonna believe this now they get it yeah anna is up in cleveland ohio anna how can we help hi mary thank you for taking my calls um so i just finished um i just graduated from college in december and i'm just i feel like i'm in a unique situation i guess everybody does um i wasn't able to do an internship because of covid and then on top of that um i i've been looking for a new job just to help pay the bills um and i left an abusive relationship earlier in may and with the relation with how it ended i had called the police and because of the nature of my my ex he fabricated a police report um against me that i came and like beat him up and um and there's there i have all the evidence in the world that i wasn't there i could have a literal video of me at like go walking into a hotel um but so i'm i'm trying to um apply for new jobs and like with this degree and everything but i'm really worried um about how i'm gonna be perceived with this charge on my record because um it's not who i am at all and everybody who knows me would know that um but i can't prove that to a new employer and so i'm just really not sure like how to go about this because it feels pretty defeating yeah that's that's heavy and i hate that that happened to you i'm glad that you had the courage and the strength and support to leave that abusive relationship and get rid of that nonsense you're worth more than that and i'm glad you walked away and unfortunately we live in a world where anybody anytime can lob any accusation any sort of anything against any of us they can file a suit for any number of reasons and we have to rely on the process and the people involved in that process so most of the time and i say 95 99 of the time a job is going to ask you have you ever been convicted of and your answer to that will be no because anybody can file any sort of thing against anybody anytime and you will truthfully and honestly answer no i haven't been convicted of anything and if they happen to say are you under investigation for anything and you feel like having that conversation and you can say i left an abusive relationship and it's currently um in investigation right now um but i am everything is just fine yeah anna could you give us a quick update john i just want some 401. you keep going but i is is the matter solved now and he just he kind of put out and the police showed up to investigate because they have to is this thing still open investigation or is it um it's still going through like pre-trial and trial yeah so it'll be an event it'll be its own thing i got you okay yeah and that stinks my guess is um it yeah depending if it probably won't make it out of it probably when you make it to trial i i just tell you right now if you've got video shows that you were not there uh unless your lawyer is a complete buffoon and you can't show the judge that i want to encourage your heart john's right that'll probably get thrown out what kind of job are you looking for i well i think really anything that pays more than what i'm doing right now um i i just graduated with an urban planning and development degree but i'd love to work with non-profit um our ideal i would also i have a couple ideas in mind um i would like to do stuff with community development and like housing i'd like to be an appraiser and then on the opposite end be a flourish so um so how old are you do you mind me asking your age yeah i'm i'm 30. okay very cool so you've got this this mix of things um and i think that right now um before you search for any of those i want you to kind of take a little bit of time to get clear on this unless you're just in dire straits financially are you in some kind of a hurry to get a different job than the one you have now other than the fact that you just don't like it it's a j-o-b oh i love my job actually um and they're super supportive and like employees of the year and whoa they're awesome it's just yeah it's just not the work you want to do long-term it's it's more so it just doesn't pay i only make like 25 to 30k a year and it was the job that i just got when i moved okay area okay but here's a good job the reason i asked that question you answered it you love it right now so we don't have to be in a hurry so when i hear planning and urban development that's what you went to get your degree in you had some interest there we could at least say that right i don't know how much your heart's involved with that but then we talk about florist and then what was the other one um i'd like to do um appraising okay so here's what i want you to do real estate i want you to here's the deal i'm going to give you a copy a free copy of of my book the proximity principle okay and and i want you to read it and do it now here's the deal it's for people who know what they want to do they're just not quite sure the best way to get there and you've got these multiple ideas and it's going to work for you here's what i want you to do okay it's going to really hold you accountable but i want you to go hang out with a florist or too and i mean hang out i mean like not just coffee or lunch say could i shadow you for half a day i'll actually help for free i just want to get a sense i want to get in here and get my hands dirty and i want to feel what it's like i want my heart to be able to register what it actually is like to be a florist so you're going to get a lot of head knowledge but you're going to get a lot of heart knowledge as well and i want you to do the same thing with an appraiser you got to know somebody who knows somebody who knows somebody who appraises nobody wants to shadow them trust me right so they'll they'll do it and i want you to sample this work do you understand what i'm saying before we start looking for anything else and i think that will help you in this season with this this whole court mess going on before we go looking for something let's be pretty darn clear about what we're looking for does that make sense yeah and anna i want to tell you something and listen to me real carefully okay when you roll out of an abusive relationship everything about everybody is that they're scary and they're going to hurt you because somebody said he loved you and they hurt you is that right the only way this is this is what makes abuse so evil the only way to heal is through relationship with other people which means you gotta risk again you gotta trust again so get a group of people around you whether it's one two or three or four people get an attorney that you trust trust the judge to do the right thing and lean back into relationship you're worth it i'm so proud of you for being brave now you gotta go take the next steps great stuff always good to be with you pal good to see you my name is john deloney want to thank our producer james childs our associate producer and call screener jenna sears and you america this is the ramsay show did you know you can listen to the ramsay show on your smart speaker just tell alexa google assistant or siri to play the ramsay show podcast check out all ramsay network shows on your smart speaker today you

Channel: The Ramsey Show - Full Episodes

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Id: fnGfYz8HioM

Length: 121min 20sec (7280 seconds)

Published: Wed Sep 22 2021