The Only Heckler I've Ever Kicked Out

[ __ ] you bro I was so nice I was professional I kept this I kept this whole crowd from murdering you hey guys before we get into how this show got to that point why don't you take a second and subscribe to my YouTube channel and like this video seriously I post videos every week here I feel like you should know about it okay let's get into it for the first time in 12 years I had to kick someone out of my stand-up show it's not something that I'm proud of but I did want to use this as an opportunity to show you what not to do at a Live Comedy event I'm performing in Des Moines Iowa and I start the show as I always do by poking fun at the audience I think this time I'm talking about how people from the Midwest are so white we look like ghosts for sure for sure saw some ghosts during sound check I asked I asked the staff and they're like no those are those are the those are the guests um so it's very white here um super what not a good thing to cheer for Lady it's the woo you just heard was the start of many Woos full disclosure I'm not against wooing by the way I I love to woo I do it on roller coasters and the days even at comedy shows but I think there's a certain limit of Woos before the people around you start to get annoyed so it's a lot lady why don't you simmer down how about just split the difference all right it's still Thursday but just you know like peep it but just taper it you know what I mean just now it's important to know that there are people who come to my show who might have a verbal tick because of Tourette's this is not me making a joke right now this is a real thing so here's what I did next to ensure that her responses were 100 voluntary and of her own control and the idea and the idea okay um hey there's almost anything that I can say that would go well with that lady gosh man 911. um [Applause] it's a good call I wouldn't I wouldn't celebrate that one oh what what'd you say what the [ __ ] you got a cool it lady I get it you tried to warn Us by wearing tie-dye pants but just like split the difference I've officially told her to chill out and articulated that her behavior is not something that is welcome [Music] I'm gonna get you like a little swear jar and just have you talk into it and then at the end of the show it'll be like Pandora's Box that we open and then you can say all of the things that you want to say so just save them for right now and then yeah and then we'll do that you and me it'll be so much fun I promise all the sounds at the end of the show all of them well yeah but that means for now and then later [ __ ] now see what you're doing right now is stuff for later yeah so you're you're failing the assignment I don't think anybody's enjoying it either do you want me to take her to a vote do people and do people enjoy the fact that she's shouting so much all the time [Applause] okay that's like a thousand to one so maybe we come up with like a cue you know what I mean maybe I'll go like and then you can unleash the cannon you know what I mean then [ __ ] let it rip you know what I mean um but I would say when it's just regular conversation stuff maybe not then and so I will make sure so I'll make sure I definitely don't look anywhere and I keep my eyes very wide so there's no blinking whatsoever because I don't I don't want here's why I just don't want security to think that you're so much of a disruption that they kick you out this was me trying to establish a buddy system so it could be at the discretion of the performer but also make her feel included I'm just trying to look out for you that's it okay you have to stop you have you have to stop no no you you actually you you have to stop because like they're coming down right now I don't I don't want to have to be the guy who like tells you to leave but I'm speaking on behalf of everybody else you're kind of it's being like a little obnoxious [Applause] okay so we're like we're still friends but we're almost not okay like I'm nice until I'm not so please don't take advantage of that thank you very much so now here's some comedy I feel like that's as clear as I could be this is the time where I went from step dad to Dad and fortunately I was able to get through five more minutes of Comedy uninterrupted until I will kick you out I will kick you out the guy the guy is in the guy in front of you is like so over it right now you have to be quiet please I feel like I'm being really really polite about it and like I'm not I'm not swearing I'm trying to be nice like there's people around you who every time I tell you to be quiet they're like they're like shaking their heads like yeah do you get what I'm saying guys I got it yes so what's happening is see now the guy's gonna come up right now like my stepdad is going to ask you to probably leave I love you as well I do I actually do I mean that I just I want I like so do maybe they so so that's all officially security has asked her to leave and is pleading with her to cooperate so we just awkwardly waited there until they physically had to remove her from the building and on her way out she shouted this oh man it's worse because it's such a long walk back wait wait what'd she say she got me a dick oh [ __ ] you then never mind [ __ ] you bro I was so [ __ ] nice I was professional I kept this I kept this whole crowd from murdering you and now I'm a dick because I asked her to leave by asking her several times oh my God I am so sorry guys I hope you guys are still having a [ __ ] so now I have the responsibility of Bridging the Gap between her awkward departure and the rest of my performance which we'll get to in a minute I just want to say that I've always welcomed the audience having a shared unique experience with me and the show feeling interactive but it always has to a be on the comedians terms and B when you're asked to stop you gotta stop enjoy the rest of the video and make sure to get tickets at Drew lynch.com to my live show where I will kick you out because I'm a monster I like that she left and then you guys just hopped over like those are the best seats [Applause] she wasn't even down the hallway and you guys are like [Applause] [Laughter] oh [ __ ] oh man I like you guys so much better like I'm just saying stuff and you're just like sitting there Jesus Christ I'm sorry about that guys let's get back on track you guys still with me are we having fun or what [Laughter] [Applause]

Channel: Drew Lynch

Views: 1,269,543

Keywords: Comedy, Comedian, Drew Lynch, Stutter, America's Got Talent, Howie Mandel, Golden Buzzer, Finalist, Stand up, Service Dog, Vizsla, Speech Impediment, funny, AGT, stand up, drew lynch stand up, concussed, comedy special, #heckler

Id: S4aFMLC9MPc

Length: 7min 29sec (449 seconds)

Published: Fri Mar 17 2023