the office moments that keep me up at night | Comedy Bites

is going to happen i am going to have to fix you manage you to on a more personal scale a a more micro form of management jim what is that called microgemint boom yes now jim is going to be the client dwight you're going to have to sell to him without being aggressive hostile or difficult let's go all right fine [Music] hello hello this is dwight schrute from the dunder mifflin paper company well that's great because i need paper excellent then you are in luck because we are having a limited time offer only on everything wow this is my lucky day what is your name sir i am bill butlicker really that's your real name how dare you my family built this country by the way be respectful dwight please oh yes michael could you hold on one second that's my other line what no but i hello yeah no i'm just on the phone with this stupid salesman he's so dumb probably just gonna keep him on the line forever and not buy anything okay it's up to you to change his mind sorry that was a family emergency oh no what's wrong you know what that's private boundaries dwight come on i'm sorry mr butler as i was saying we're having a limited a little bit louder i'm hard of hearing he's hard if he's an old man okay as i was saying right now we are talking louder okay our prices have never been low you have to talk louder never been lower louder son buttocker our prices have never been lower that is totally inappropriate you should never yell at the client now you listen to me sir here we go the three words i would describe you as is aggressive yes hostile and definitely difficult please mr buy my rate right give me the please give me a chance give me the phone mr butt licker give me the phone i have to put you on with my boss well i should hope so who is this hello this is michael scott regional manager well this is william m buttlicker hello mr buttlicker how may we help you michael i like the sound of your voice you know what i'm gonna do i'm gonna buy one million dollars worth of paper products today see how it's done thank you very much sir i don't think you'll regret it you are the master there is one condition michael yes you have to fire the salesman that treated me so terribly don't do it michael it's a million dollar sale pam would you smell my breath no no let me smell good not great yes full word of advice speaking as a former baby security in this office park is a joke last year i came to work with my spud gun in a duffel bag i sat at my desk all day with a rifle that shoots potatoes at 60 pounds per square inch can you imagine if i was deranged ryan cost dunder mifflin hundreds of thousands of dollars michael ryan david i don't care if ryan murdered his entire family he is like a son to me freak i need a favor well then you have to call me by my name gabriel susan lewis what if meredith was taking her smoking break below that window you know what would have happened the shards of glass would have shaved her face right off and yes it might have been funny but it also would have been incredibly tragic so when uh when did you set up shop i opened this place after i came back from vietnam oh vietnam i hear it's lovely someone complained that the men's room is whites only stanley you know that's not true i didn't say that and why is there a picture of a white man on the door well i managed my department and i've been doing that for several years now and god i've learned a lot of life lessons along the way your department's just you right yes jim but i am not easy to manage r is among the most menacing of sounds that's why they call it murder and not mukduck okay too many different words coming at me from too many different sentences i'm always thinking one step ahead like a carpenter that makes stairs hey right back at you meredith what are you doing i could be pregnant okay no oh my resolution was to get more attention nope she's lying i am a huge woody allen fan although i have only seen ants but i'll tell you something what i respect about that man is that when he was going through all of that stuff that came out in the press about how ants was just a ripoff of a bug's life he stayed true to his films or at least the film that i saw which again was ants thing is i thought bug's life was better much better than ants point is don't listen to your critics listen to your fans uh i get it everybody knows about the ultimatum yes i told everyone hey right back at you what's your daughter's name again peepee pipa people how is she great great well to be fair jim james jimothy to be fair timothy the that sounds weird are you okay with being called jim i am all right we are not always going to be there to coddle your heart back when it disappears to be working what are you going to do if you're by yourself and your heart stops i would die and you're okay with that i'm okay with the logic of it no no your partner's got a lot of attitude but i like that how long you guys been dating jim couldn't land me in a thousand years but you're saying there's a chance shut up seriously you're gonna send me back uh yeah that's the safest part of a car in the event of a crash driver always protects his side first battlestar galactica this is the worst no question about it i am ready to get hurt again ed truck was the manager before me horrible he hated fun it was like oh ed truck is walking toward us why are you the way that you are honestly every time i try to do something fun or exciting you make it not that way i hate so much about the things that you choose to be i love inside jokes love to be a part of one someday and you can hug it out identity theft is not a joke jim millions of families suffer every year parkour corporate needs you to find the differences between this picture and this picture indel has told us there are at least seven okay i already see one given okay they're the same picture wish i could but i can't well can but won't should maybe but short jim james jimothy whenever i'm about to do something i think would an idiot do that and if they would i do not do that thing my mind is going a mile an hour and i feel god in this chili's tonight you all took a life here today you did the life of the party worst thing about prison was that was the dementors welcome to the hotel hell check-in time is now check-out time is never sorry i annoyed you with my friendship what is that it is your birthday period statement of fact i am beyonce always i am dead inside gonna kill myself wow i'm going to kill myself and it's your fault well well well how the turntables holly you and i are soup snakes i am aware of the effect i have on women depression isn't that just a fancy word for feeling bummed out dwight you ignorant do you think that smoking drugs is cool do you think that doing alcohol is cool occasionally i'll hit somebody with my car so sue me oh and you can't get diseases from a bird where are the turtles where are they should i burn this place down when i had a chance i'm not superstitious but i'm i am a little stitious stanley barack is president you are black sadly i saved a life my own am i a hero i really can't say but yes you

Channel: Comedy Bites

Views: 1,674,692

Keywords: The Office meme, The Office, Michael Scott, Steve Carell, the office memes, the office meme templates, the office parkour, bears beets battlestar galactica scene, why are you the way that you are the office, the office inside joke, it's britney the office, its the same picture the office, the office buttlicker quote, the office buttlicker meme, michael scott no god no, michael scott everybody stay calm, the office fire drill, the office fire scene, kevins chilli, prison mike

Id: H2ZWU0sPP54

Length: 10min 13sec (613 seconds)

Published: Fri Aug 26 2022