The New Cancer ft. iDubbbz

What's up guys today we're here with iDubbbzTV Can't do it. You can go for it. No you do one. Hi i'm Dave from Boy in a band, and this is my friend Ian. Yeah, ahh.. I Shouldn't have said yeah I don't have anything to say. A lot of people say the Internet is cancer. Yeah like what would you consider cancer on the internet? I guess anything... posted from a child between the ages of 12 and 18 Yeah you've got pretty specific age groups there. Yeah so what is a child under 11? is that cute? It's cute yeah it would mostly be innocent like them thinking that a joke they made was funny and it was just a very basic pun. Why do People use cancer? The reason cancer's so good is because I think it affects at least one member of everyone's family in the world. Yeah I would say that-that's-that's -that's why it's use it you can instantly offend anyone. do you think it's because it's deadly, then? Yeah I guess it's deadly. I guess it's deadly! In this day and age I feel like It might be losing punch, because it's not as deadly as It used to be, even. That's an interesting point. So we need to find a new cancer in the modern world as cancer is being cured more and more by science, right. We need more edgy words for the twelve year olds. I think we need to create our own disease. That's the only way it can happen, Dave. This is a really interesting thing. Yeah it is. So we're gonna be taking a look at this in-interactive infographic. Which has all the different causes of death and suffering and see which one is most appropriate for the most offensive joke Something like that yeah i was making a face, like, the whole time getting more and more intense thought it might be a good gag I would say that It needs to be deadly it needs to also have kind of a ring to it same thing with Aids. Aids is such an easy thing to say, yeah Cancer very easy to say rolls off the tongue [Dave] so no osteoporosis [Ian] no it's just way too wordy It's not just death though, is it [Ian] no, suffering [Dave] because suffering, because otherwise it would be like car crash Right, first of all we've got a lot of Pokemon Going on in the background do you want to oh, yeah, let's get rid of that and replace it with something else, something a bit more appropriate oh, I just spilled some water, is all oh no, you never spill anything on your floor, Ian. In any other circumstance. ah, there we go all clean. What would be the point of suffering where you'd be like just-just kill, just end it one of the number one things is like Alzheimer's [Dave] oh God Yeah [Ian] Not Only are you Mentally Suffering You are Fucking The Minds of Everyone Around you [Dave] yeah thats a great one.[Ian] we May Have found It there's nothing Potentially worse than alzheimers I i actually don't It would be worth exploring But [Dave] it's like some sad Husk is remaining in the body of the person you used to love [Ian] and it's a constant reminder If someone Goes You don't have the reminder This is someone That's essentially Dead That's walking around So how can we make a joke out of this? I feel like there's it's rife with jokes as well Because the way people like use cans Like that's cancer You can't use it in the same Way That's Alzheimers. It Doesn't Work however there might be a Way to use it to insult People's intelligence in a Way Because of This a Mental Thing so like in the same way People like Try to offend People by Saying you retarded Exactly There might Be some Wordplay Involved as well to making It more Concise i don't know if i can't you're gonna see Yeah The problem there is i think it's too Reminiscent of Like Maybe Alka-Seltzer tablet One of The Things we Said at The start Was you got it can't make it too Wordy yes so does The Wordiness of Alzheimer's Affect offset the the Cripplingly Horrible Impact It Has on People's Lives i think it Does Yeah It's not interesting to Got The Alzheimer's funding is going Up the see this is the problem if the funding is going Up this might Be the Next Thing That's Cured if They're going to go ahead and Just cure Outside Miss They're not Just Our Joke isn't gonna be offensive Very long Yeah That's an Element We Should Definitely Think about But Just Because the fundings going Up Doesn't Mean we're getting Closer yeah Yeah we can Have hope yet i would much Rather have like Um? Substitute one of My Family members Alzheimer's to give to other Family members cancer Really Yeah it's Such a Higher Like cure rate Alzheimer's isn't your People are Burying a Cancer all The time all The Times even if they Straight Away cause the cancer Fuckin Crawled into their Heart and Blew Up Then It Would Be like oh well they the sufferings over yeah yeah you know i just yeah i think the the Suffering Is a Big component okay so now we're on the Infographic Here by The institute for Health metrics and Evaluation or i mean first of All we've Got Just Deaths for all People all Across The World top is heart disease You Got Your cancers over Here i was that with The C stands for cancer lung See they've Got out They Got Their own rapper name Boy lung See how i'm gonna Throw It over to brett see yeah Here's The Ones that took communicable Diseases so yes stuff That Goes Through Water or Over the air yeah you Got your malaria and then Down here you've Got Just Your Regular old Injuries falls Mek Exposure to mechanical Forces such a complicated Way of Just Saying you know Rodney Put His finger and of szabla Which one do you Reckon you're gonna fall under i think the Alzheimer oh? Yeah i think so i think i'm probably gonna be one of the heart disease Ones Right Judging from My Grandparents Yes i'll Be Just The Mainstream you get a little more alternative i think of all the freaking hipsters down here with Skin Cancer? Thinking So Ready Yeah i know a Few of them so if we're Judging Just from the Deaths Heart disease is The Thing What is it called When there's a blockage in your Heart like a Clot That Sounds Like i don't see any english Yeah oh you left the Oven on your Plot you Wouldn't Say The Oven on your cancer yeah what if you're not english you clap You clot You fucking Climb i Feel Like It could Happen With The right Intonation and The Right Like Subtext you're gonna write that on the bull it's Just an option Yeah well write That Here we've got these other options first we've Got Wild Ds Here so Years lived With disability How Many Years of Suffering do You Get for One of These Diseases so if we Click on that Wow Considerable difference in Terms of Suffering so your heart disease is gone What a Hell is sense since organ Diseases so like Ian'S and oral disorders Myself Flow They have an Alcohol Use Your alcoholic Just Calling That's Just Kind of Cute like it's a Goofy Oh, here we are we've Got the depression emo and stuff is used as a Bit of a Derogatory term and That's Clearly tied to Alright Fresh in part my Funk Permalink List of Lean a Brilliant Genre of Music Yeah have you ever Heard Like People describing Themselves is it Now They're in a funk yeah oh perma funk yeah i get that then nothing standing Out as like a Punchy Word to do with depression no not really it's Got some claim to the throne Here yeah it does if you were to use depression in an insulting Way You are depression and What the embodiment of Depression Ian I Got Closer i probably Default to email emo Implies a Fourteen-Year-Old Kid Who's going Through Hard Times with The self-harm Right Whereas Depression Could Also Be Like The The Sadness of A 50 year old Man Who's considering That His life isn't Worth Continuing Right You Know after After Years of Having a Job that Doesn't Make Him happy i'm Just imagining if you call That 50-Year old Man an email We Just Through Depression Up Let's Just Put our Depression Up there Didn'T quite have enough space i'll Just put a Sad face you're being a client i was Just Thinking how about um back pain Hey he's calling someone back Pains you up back pain Thanks Wikipedia back pain is pain Felt in the back back of What How about Chronic Pain Chronic The Word Chronic Is quite yeah but Now it's a it's. Too associated with uh! Smoking The Chronic That's true i Think this It's not It doesn't come at cause any suffering but it's a lot as far as like back and neck pain Like Just Saying Someone Has Poor posture is Pretty Hard That's One of Those Things People Get Really Kind of Not Yeah like you Haven't Brushed Your teeth enough Kind of deal Looks Like Your Breath Yeah Breath Yeah That's a Huge One even Now i'm like yeah you Know you're right i actually Didn't Brush my teeth But Calling Someone a Therapy Session oh my god you're fucking Therapy Session That's Great Yeah I Feel like it's Pretty Funny do you Mean the hi i'm So messed up i require 100 i'm causing you to read my weight right with the The The font of It Being Like italicized or slanted If you're in a Chair i like That Ones Mean Spectrum Disorder yes so many of these aren't as a Universal As Cancer Yeah drink a Lot of these i could Actually imagine Calling Someone an asthma Attack could be in the right Context I like That Yeah cuz if It Was a Panic Attack That Just Makes them seem cool Yeah If You call someone an asthma Attack the only Thing They starts to think in my Head is That's Just a Bad Thing so Maybe That's What we're looking for something That our brains Haven't already associated with something Else Right? Sjw's are an asthma Attack the alt-Right is an asthma Attack yes write It down th ma Attack okay how about Calling Someone Mucus cutie mucus Mucus i Kind of Like It it's Just Nasty Yeah it's like Calling Someone Jizz Visit My Mother-In-Law its mucus It's Weird enough To catch on is Just like a Funny Thing to say Yeah it's yeah It's mucus it's like no One's he used mucus as a Descriptor like that i think it's Kind of Similar yeah That's Good Every time i go to the party it's Just fucking mucus That's Great That's so Good Potential That's the One like in Terms of This dui digital Cancer So That's the one that has the closest yeah it's not as intense yeah but we found we found a polite Conversation Cancer Yeah Exactly so to recap we've got Plot used to describe People in your life who are holding you back Marcus Never Lets You Go out and Party With The Girls He's Always telling You to stay in he's a Clot oh My mom you always make me do my homework before i can go out With My Friends you're such a Cloth Depression Calling something Depression It Could Work i think it has Fringe applications Don't sit in on mr. On professor Smith's lecture it's Depression Buzz potential Is boring Because it's such an Exaggeration or a Concept of Boring Yeah the next One Therapy Session I'm happy with Their Therapy sessions Good Sort of specific use i would Say That you're a Therapy Session you might Say that I'm a Therapy Session It's basically Saying You're The cause of a Therapy Session Yeah Exactly Doesn't Matter for Who there no one wants to have a Therapy Session? Yeah It's Necessary Exactly Along The same Lines of That asthma Attack asthma Attack This One's Very relatable You can Almost Call Someone an asthma Attack if They're Just Loud and obnoxious i imagine there's a Lot of YouTubers That you can describe as an asthma Attack Got Mucus Mucus the Context For This One Would be for People Who are a Little Bit Too Bashful to say Cancer in public it's like Your training Wheels Cancer Once you've Upgraded to cancer Then start Experimenting And Put the Ground Work out there for Alzheimer's yeah and for those of You Saying oh mucus i don't get It you know like Just Try Just Throw Mucus Out There a person a Place a Thing is mucus you might surprise Yourself we've definitely made the few steps Towards a New Kind of time I'M quite happy without simon i alzheimer's is good you guys Need to find the right Would want to solidify the Crippling Pain That You experience When a Family members This Is where you guys come in yeah if you can figure out a terse Way of Saying Someone or something or a particular Group of People is as Bad as the suffering caused By Alzheimer's Disease leave a in the comments Below We fried al'S e our out see doesn't really do Much we've tried hai mers? Dementia had too many other associations Yeah we don't want To make someone seem cool in an Edgy sir i'm crazy i got Dementia yeah we Just want To make them seem like They are Just the worst parts of Losing Every aspect of Your personality Over the Years The causing suffering of Those Around you Just for Watching have a Nice day

Channel: Boyinaband

Views: 2,773,677

Rating: 4.9262147 out of 5

Keywords: boyinaband, idubbbz, idubbbztv, cancer, alzheimers, alzie, mucus, therapy session, asthma attack, ihme, health, disease, statistics, edgy, disorder, ian, content, memes, depression, crippling depression, osteoperosis

Id: Uxy3egYXdug

Length: 13min 54sec (834 seconds)

Published: Fri Sep 15 2017

Reddit Comments

[u/11sies_]

Absolutely lost my shit at "exposure to mechanical forces."