The Most Hated Strategy In Tarkov

[Music] jesus hello all right at first i tried to make a distinction between the slow and steady and uh the pre-ejaculators and then after that video came out i saw these people trying to draw an ethical line in the sand uh and they were they would say things like oh no no no i'm a rat you know i'm slow and steady but i would never exit camp i'm above exit camping first of all a true rat has no ethics second of all but like you're supposed to play and and uh watch your back you know when you're playing you're supposed to expect that death could come at any second but as soon as you get to the exit oh no that's hallowed ground you can't kill there you guys playing like your old british lords they lift your visor good sir they shan't dare shoot us here they haven't the gall until your fat ass leaves the raid your fair game across the board it ain't my fault if you fail to check a corner the subreddit slam packed with people complaining about exit campers even pesterly hates them like the way i look at exit camping is they probably weren't loved by their parents growing up and they just need a way to take it out on people if you could find it waiting for someone to walk past why play the game and have fun when you can play the game have fun and piss somebody else off it's a win-win so today i'm gonna be teaching you guys how to exit camp but first this video is sponsored by manscaped now frankly guys i know this is a a lewd topic and i don't mean to get uh uh i don't mean to gross you guys out because you're here you're probably watching this right after sunday school with the family grandma sitting down to watch too but let's be honest we're smack dab in the middle of a quarantine gone are the days of going down to your barbershop and getting a perfect shave on your balls you're gonna have to do it yourself and this is the path forward it's called the lawnmower 3.0 cordless rechargeable waterproof tsa approved you can bring it when you travel perfect for all those hard to reach places 90 minutes of battery life 7000 rpm motor usb rechargeable i think you guys can tell looking at me that i'm not like a manly man you know i'm not the kind of guy that goes out and works on his car in the driveway every weekend you know i don't know what tools do what but i can assure you this is a much safer option than taking a bare razor to your testicles this has a guard on it and a safety light so you can see down there you know when these guys came forward and said sam would you be willing to show off our product i said by god that's the most uh that's one of the most important products i've ever seen but is it too lewd i didn't want to go there with my viewers i didn't want them to know that i was thinking about their testicles well let me be clear i am thinking about your testicles me and manscaped are thinking about your testicles every night of the week and frankly i won't stop thinking about them until every pair of testicles in this audience is cleanly shaved and nick free so if you're looking at taking your testicle game up to the next level hit the link in the description and use code general 20 to get 20 off of this nice little lawnmower 3.0 now back to being a scumbag now there's a bunch of classic spots i'm not going to be covering in detail but for the sake of taking a dump in the tarkov community's collective cereal bowl i'll uh show them to you real quick gotta cover my bases you know oh this one's a classic you got the awning on interchange yeah just hop up there like so uh make sure to bring a cms kit yeah in case you don't make the jump it happens uh then the rest is easy you just lay up there and snipe [Music] all right oh this one this one's a classic dude this is manhole extract on reserve i did a vid on this one before you uh you can throw a bag down you know to sweeten the deal if you want god gotta love that manhole though so accommodating you know like doesn't take any button presses no extra equipment no baggage allowed it's just straight business and it's not one of them one time uses either a manhole can take as many as many men as you throw at it you know just lets them go on in there deep where it's nice warm and safe and wet it's really the fleshlight of the extract world when you think about it uh hermetic door hermetic door's got some cool spots but nobody really takes it now that d2 is out so uh you can lay in the back of the truck and throw grenades towards the exit it's pretty solid for the record i really don't like camping factory exit because you don't really get the drop on someone you end up just having a gun fight with them you know i really don't win those too often i really gotta have the deck stacked entirely in my favor and you know what sun tzu said once it was um every battle is won before the fighting even begins i think it's safe to say that most of history's greatest military tacticians were probably exit campers now my personal favorite right now is the new hotspot the d2 exit on reserve it's dark high traffic people kill raiders and go straight there i want you to tell me something when do the hairs on your neck start standing up i would say right about here that's when you start to listen out for exit campers right yeah i think i hear something down there to exit someone's drinking pineapple juice down there that's why i camp all the way back here this is before they you got them with their pants down they ain't even suspecting anything right here so i got the strategy now i just got to convince my friends to uh uh exit camp with me easier said than done what are the different exits you can camp you [ __ ] scumbag ah yeah all right why don't you walk that one back a little bit no no no no no no it's uh you know i'm not even going to [ __ ] defend myself yeah i'm going to keep an exit what are you going to do about it i'm not doing [ __ ] i'm not going to help you yeah you are are you a chad or are you a rat or what what's what's the what's the new term for [ __ ] people that came from medic door like an [ __ ] what's that a [ __ ] bag are you okay that's gonna be the video not the chat of the red it's gonna be the new class this [ __ ] goddamn i am a proud [ __ ] i don't care a new challenger appears he's gonna get away not if i can help it got him level 41. hell yeah he was pimped out rpk yeah i mean you could backpack in his [ __ ] tv rig i bet that guy's [ __ ] pissed turns out he was pissed he was pissed enough to tweet at aqua telling aqua to contain meat let me tell you something aqua can't contain me aqua is a weak man with a weak will i've seen leukemia patients with a higher red blood cell count than he has all right he's dead okay i see what you mean now that nobody pays attention dude look at this [ __ ] i feel like buffalo bill from sounds of the lamps when you shoot out the lights you just you have so much power over them it's like a lamb lost in the dark in these moments when they walk past you that's what being a god feels like hello piggy baby brian look at my monitor that's me don't shoot that creating the world loading the world with data files you know it took god four days or something like that to make this hit tarkov on the other hand how was that was that four seconds to make the world oh dear lord [Music] what's wrong with you man you're slipping but you can't check your six [Music] i also watch this cigar maker guy he's like he's like 60 years old and he's making cigars and rolling cigars yeah he's hand rolling cigars and he's like now you want to stuff this bad boy pretty tight but don't put too much tobacco in there else you're going to have yourself a mandingo jawbreaker [Music] dude i'm having a blast extract camping and uh bizzle likened it to fishing which which is true it's like uh it's like yoga except i still get to kill something minor successes aside i still felt like i wasn't getting all i could get out of extract camping so i turned to a professional the only twitch streamer that dedicates his entire stream to one thing and one thing only extract camping his name is x-fil camper dude this guy's got places you ain't even ever thought of he's he's gotta like boil down to a science until watch this clip for real man i can't can't do it man i can't where was that kid did you hear that [ __ ] listen again listen to that whoa what is going on listen again oh boy what is going on that [ __ ] guy's about to cry he is on the verge of tears name one other strategy that you can implement that can bring a grown man to the verge of [ __ ] tears i knew for a fact that there was much to learn from this man so i hit him up and i want you to come on this journey with me yeah that's where i've been sitting i have a spot a thousand times better than that in d2 man it'll literally blow your mind [Music] there we go forward a little bit there we go okay that's fine that is the meanest [ __ ] i've ever seen i can i can peak door you can't even see it it's like dark billion years would you see that i mean like you're there but like it just because of the highlighted light i don't think anybody would go there's a man you know i don't even know right you know oh yeah no you wouldn't even see your outline not in a million years could you even hit me from there oh yeah i can murder you right now i have a good straight line in your legs that's dirty and then it's potentially good it's like if you're playing against clueless people so you hop on the rail there so like you're not seeing it unless you yeah yeah but a quick hole in the wall spot ready oh do people go through there yeah it's the no backpack exit back up a little bit more there we go stand up and watch a man disappear what the [ __ ] and can you see me over here while i'm exiting oh yeah where the [ __ ] are you at i'm in the tree you wiggle you see me no i forgot which tree i put you in shoot at me that is so [ __ ] also you can lay in the back of that flatbed truck there in the extract you're gonna hop on the wheel on the right side oh yeah yeah and see if you don't have the extract you just lay in there can people see me nope oh yeah this one is real dirty oh blue wall there's a guy sneaking up right now oh really oh i hear him he's laying down out there you can just pop up and tap him that worked oh he's kind of beamed out a little bit a little bit i'm sure he's [ __ ] pissed is i can just crouch here and just jump on my head and then what you'll do is just walk in oh whoops oh there you go that's like the most simple fix and you can look to your left and you see all rock passage oh hot dog someone come up behind me right now i heard footsteps for sure and oh yeah i see him i see him gotcha yeah oh he's a big [ __ ] oh for real yeah should i talk to him yeah i do it do i do it he's crossing he's stopped in his tracks he's coming back he's looking for you he's big as [ __ ] talk to him again do it one more time did i get him he's running to you man did i get him now no oh that name might get me nope it didn't i'll throw one back [Music] i'm just shooting 100 rounders where'd he go he's laying down oh i see him running away yeah wait i hear someone running next to me uh-oh got him all right where's this guy at again sorry there's a guy [ __ ] like walked up like under me and was like where's he at yo yeah i had some guy come in the chat today like how do you feel you're ruining people's lives that's when you say dude i thought i was just ruining their game but now that i know i'm learning life too that's just thanks for making this a whole lot better i'm good that is pretty dirt nasty yeah that one's pretty big this one works pretty well i can do surgery on my phone while we're doing this this is a beauty you can play a game and what would you do you did study or you did uh you did studying studying for finals while playing games i'm fixing uh my cell phone while doing this like i bet you other people when they play they just play tarkov you know oh yeah you can't multitask inspiring stuff inspiring stuff this is what it's all about streamlining efficiency cooking ramen while you're also extract camping it's it's multitasking that's what it is that's what really pisses the people off too they play tarkov and their one thing is playing tarkov and i think they're just so pissed that they're getting killed by a guy that's also studying for finals or [ __ ] whacking off or something that's the illness you were outclassed by a guy that isn't really paying attention that's real that's the real kick in the balls we got a bite ah he's a feisty one well we had to do dress rehearsal on thursday oh what the hell i've got to write my script where are you very serious well we're sending this one uh to snl [Music] we're gonna pad our credentials we're gonna say like like uh from the writers and creators of uh dunesburg's journey like just make up [ __ ] that doesn't exist you know and they'll be like wow earth journey i've never heard of dunesberg's journey but apparently it won several nebula awards or something i don't know you gotta have the little reef symbols next to it yeah looks like caesar's hat yeah winston churchill said this was the best [ __ ] i've seen hands down if you don't see this you're a [ __ ] yeah sean bernay said it was her favorite movie oh she she came home with this cookbook of like serial killers last meals in prison and she's been cooking them oh right crazy yeah and so like uh and so she'll like serve up at dinner and she'll be like yeah this is a dennis raider's final meal and it'll be like [ __ ] pancakes and chicken or something you know they never have a normal meal so i've been eating just weird [ __ ] i don't want to eat popsicles for dinner but we were like we're looking them up and and we got on the topic of john wayne gacy are you eating his meal tonight no we're not i don't even think he's in the book but i was like looking at his wikipedia yeah all right for those of you that don't know john wayne gacy's guy that dressed up like a clown and murdered a bunch of kids right and he um uh serial killer is always known as being like these really handsome smart people and john wayne gacy uh he's just me without glasses like he's just this big [ __ ] fat guy it's not a good look and i was like oh that's not good i look like the [ __ ] one of the most horrible people in in uh in history but check this out okay so john wayne gacy he always had these crazy these crazy names for things and i want you to guess what they are he came up with these crazy like tag lines for things because like what kinds of things okay okay no like you know like a limousine it's called a limo you know it's like call limo because you're not gonna be like hey call a stretched out vehicle that suits uh seats 25 you know so he always had like these shortened down names for stuff so anyways under the murder segment let me look here um okay so here's one the victims were usually lured alone to his house although on approximately three occasions gacy had what he called blank which is two murder victims killed in the same evening uh twofer no it was called doubles that was that was his ingenious name for that okay so he would get a kid in his house would drink drugs and gain his trust and then he would produce a pair of handcuffs and show him a magic trick sometimes uh which was part of his clowning routine he typically cuffed his own hands behind his back and then released himself with the key which he had between his fingers and then he would offer to show the intended victim how to release themselves from handcuffs and when the victim was manicled and unable to free himself gacy would then make the statement the trick is you have to have the key oh my god gacy referred to this act as the handcuff trick really an inventive name god i wonder what the he's going to show me the handcuff trick i wonder what that is and by the way his statement is the equivalent of like uh uh like imagine you're a serial rapist and you go uh the trick is lady not get raped like horrifying like it's horrifying but also just stupid it is the dumbest thing it is this guy had years to pre-meditate this [ __ ] his tag line when you get someone in handcuffs is the trick is you gotta have the key the hand and then he honks his nose and [ __ ] wiggles away my signature movie my signature move it's called the handcuffed if someone walked up to me and said hey you want to see the handcuff trick i would say hey you want to see my you want to see my sodomize your dead body move that's not a not a crowd pleaser he would tight okay this is how you would kill him he would tighten a rope around their neck and he referred to that act as the rope trick he's just i'm seeing a pattern yeah he's seeing a really cool pattern here and then and then before he would do it though he would always tell them this is my last trick oh my god at this point like do they know what's about to happen to them are they still just like oh cool trick like if i heard a fat [ __ ] clown tell me that in his basement as the necks going around there as their neck is close you suck this drink sucks [Music] so [Music] you

Channel: General Sam

Views: 3,372,108

Keywords: tarkov, funny, moments, general sam, exit camping, spots, tactics, aqua, exfilcamper, eft, escape from tarkov, gameplay, tarkov gameplay, escape from tarkov gameplay, reserve, d2

Id: hw6ZW8qDo7Y

Length: 23min 25sec (1405 seconds)

Published: Tue Jul 28 2020