>> COMING UP ON "MARRIAGE TODAY WITH JIMMY & KAREN"... Jimmy Evans: IF WE ARE GOING TO HAVE INTIMACY IN MARRIAGE, IT MEANS WE TRUST EACH OTHER. A MAN TRUSTS AN HONORING WOMAN, AND A WOMAN TRUSTS A SACRIFICIAL MALE. AND WHEN THE BIBLE TELLS WOMEN TO RESPECT THEIR HUSBANDS AND MEN TO LAY THEIR LIVES DOWN, HE'S NOT PUTTING YOU DOWN, HE'S TELLING YOU HOW TO HAVE THE KEY TO YOUR SPOUSE'S HEART AND TO ESTABLISH TRUST AND INTIMACY IN YOUR RELATIONSHIP. MARRIAGE IS A PARADOX IN AMERICA TODAY. RESEARCH SHOWS THAT EVEN THOUGH 93% OF ADULTS SAY THAT HAVING A STABLE MARRIAGE FOR A LIFETIME WAS VERY IMPORTANT TO THEM, LESS THAN HALF BELIEVE THAT IT IS STILL POSSIBLE TO ATTAIN. PEOPLE HAVEN'T LOST THE DREAM OF MARRIAGE, THEY'VE LOST THE HOPE. THE GOOD NEWS IS THAT MARRIAGE STILL WORKS. THE PROBLEM ISN'T WITH MARRIAGE, IT'S WITH OUR IGNORANCE AND MISUNDERSTANDING OF IT. TODAY WE'RE TALKING ABOUT THE PERFECT PLAN FOR MARRIAGE THAT WILL GIVE YOU THE KEY TO YOUR SPOUSE'S HEART. YOU HAVE A 100% CHANCE OF SUCCESS IN MARRIAGE. BUT YOU HAVE TO DO IT GOD'S WAY. AND I WANT TO GIVE YOU SOME REALLY GOOD NEWS. GOD HAS A WAY. AND HIS PERFECT PLAN FOR MARRIAGE IS FOUND IN THE BIBLE, AND IF WE WILL FOLLOW THIS PLAN, IT WILL WORK FOR US AND WE CAN HAVE AN INDESTRUCTIBLE MARRIAGE. WE TRULY CAN. GOD NEVER CREATES ANYTHING TO FAIL. GOD NEVER CREATES ANYTHING TO HURT US OR FRUSTRATE US. THE REASON THAT MARRIAGE IS FAILING TODAY IS JUST SIMPLY WE'RE TRYING TO DO IT DIFFERENT THAN GOD DESIGNED IT TO BE. AND SO WHEN WE DO IT GOD'S WAY, WE CAN SUCCEED. SO EPHESIANS CHAPTER 5. I'M ACTUALLY GOING TO BEGIN WITH AN INCOMPLETE SENTENCE. THIS IS VERSE 21. AND I'M SAYING THIS BECAUSE OF WHAT VERSE 22 SAYS. IT SAYS, "SUBMITTING TO ONE ANOTHER IN THE FEAR OF GOD." THAT'S VERSE 21, EPHESIANS 5:21. THEN IT SAYS, "WIVES SUBMIT TO YOUR OWN HUSBANDS AS TO THE LORD, FOR THE HUSBAND IS THE HEAD OF THE WIFE AS ALSO CHRIST IS HEAD OF THE CHURCH, AND HE IS THE SAVIOR OF THE BODY. THEREFORE JUST AS THE CHURCH IS SUBJECT TO CHRIST, SO LET THE WIVES BE TO THEIR OWN HUSBANDS IN EVERYTHING. HUSBANDS, LOVE YOUR WIVES, JUST AS CHRIST ALSO LOVED THE CHURCH AND GAVE HIMSELF FOR HER THAT HE MIGHT SANCTIFY AND CLEANSE HER WITH THE WASHING OF WATER BY THE WORD THAT HE MIGHT PRESENT HER TO HIMSELF A GLORIOUS CHURCH NOT HAVING SPOT OR WRINKLE OR ANY SUCH THING, BUT THAT SHE SHOULD BE HOLY AND WITHOUT BLEMISH." SO HUSBANDS "ARE TO LOVE THEIR OWN WIVES AS THEIR OWN BODIES. HE WHO LOVES HIS WIFE LOVES HIMSELF. FOR NO ONE EVER HATED HIS OWN FLESH, BUT NOURISHES AND CHERISHES IT JUST AS THE LORD DOES THE CHURCH. FOR WE ARE MEMBERS OF HIS BODY, OF HIS FLESH AND OF HIS BONES. FOR THIS REASON A MAN SHALL LEAVE HIS FATHER AND HIS MOTHER AND BE JOINED TO HIS WIFE AND THE TWO SHALL BECOME ONE FLESH. THIS IS A GREAT MYSTERY, BUT I SPEAK CONCERNING CHRIST AND THE CHURCH. NEVERTHELESS, LET EACH ONE OF YOU IN PARTICULAR SO LOVE HIS OWN WIFE AS HIMSELF. AND LET THE WIFE SEE THAT SHE RESPECTS HER HUSBAND." NOW, I WANT TO SAY ONE MORE TIME, THERE IS NO PLAN B. GOD DOESN'T NEED A PLAN B. PLAN A IS PERFECT. AND SO WHEN I'M COUNSELING PEOPLE IN MARRIAGE, I GO TO THE BIBLE, AND I READ EPHESIANS CHAPTER 5 TO COUPLES WHO ARE STRUGGLING IN THEIR MARRIAGE. AND LET ME SAY THIS RARELY HAVE I EVER GOTTEN A POSITIVE RESPONSE...FROM CHRISTIANS. THE TEXT THAT WE JUST READ IN THE BIBLE IS ONE OF THE MOST, UH, DISLIKED TEXTS IN THE BIBLE FOR CHRISTIANS. CHRISTIANS. I'M TELLING YOU, CHRISTIANS DON'T LIKE IT. AND THIS CHRISTIAN DIDN'T LIKE IT BEFORE I UNDERSTOOD IT. BUT THERE'S TWO COMMON REACTIONS. WE LIKE WHAT IT SAYS ABOUT OUR SPOUSE... [LAUGHTER] IF MOST MEN DON'T KNOW ANY OTHER VERSE IN THE BIBLE EXCEPT "SUBMIT TO YOUR HUSBAND AS THE LORD"...IF HE DOESN'T KNOW ANY OTHER VERSE IN THE BIBLE, HE HAS MEMORIZED THAT ONE RIGHT THERE. AND SO WE LOVE WHAT IT SAYS. NOW, LISTEN TO WHAT I'M SAYING. WOMEN LOVE WHAT EPHESIANS 5 WHEN YOU READ EPHESIANS 5 TO A WOMAN AND IT SAYS YOUR HUSBAND IS TO LAY HIS LIFE DOWN FOR YOU AND NOURISH YOU AND CHERISH YOU, LADIES, HOW MANY OF YOU LIKE THAT? I MEANEVERY WOMAN, "ANSWER TO A PRAYER." SHE'S IN HEAVEN. AND SO, MEN, THAT SHE'S SUPPOSED TO HONOR YOU AS SHE DOES THE LORD. MEN, DO YOU LIKE THAT? ALL THE MEN LIKE THAT. OK. SO I'M JUST SAYING, WE LOVE WHAT IT SAYS ABOUT OUR SPOUSE. WE JUST DON'T LIKE WHAT IT SAYS ABOUT US. NOW, THAT OUGHT TO TELL US SOMETHING. YOUR SPOUSE LOVES WHAT THIS SAYS ABOUT YOU. BUT WE FEEL THREATENED, AND I'M GOING TO EXPLAIN THAT IN JUST A MINUTE. THE OTHER RESPONSE THAT YOU GET WHEN YOU TALK TO CHRISTIANS ABOUT EPHESIANS 5 IS, WE FEAR BEING THE FIRST ONE TO DO IT. IT'S LIKE, I WANT THEM TO GO FIRST. WOMEN SAY, WELL, I WOULD SUBMIT TO HIM LIKE THE LORD IF HE ACTED ANYTHING REMOTELY LIKE JESUS. [LAUGHTER] HE ACTS LIKE THE DEVIL. AND IF I SUBMITTED TO HIM OR RESPECTED HIM, IT WOULD JUST ENCOURAGE HIM, AND I AM ON A MISSION BY GOD TO HUMBLE THIS MAN. I AM THE ONLY THING KEEPING HIM HUMBLE. AND SO I DON'T WANT TO FEED THE MONSTER, YOU KNOW, BY HONORING HIM TOO MUCH. AND SO IT'S LIKE, YOU KNOW, I DON'T WANT TO GO FIRST. AND THEN THE MEN SAY, WELL, YEAH, I UNDERSTAND WHAT IT SAYS ABOUT LAYING MY LIFE DOWN, BUT IT WON'T WORK FOR HER. SO, UNDERSTAND, THERE IS NO OTHER PLAN. NOTHING ELSE WORKS. IF YOU HAD BEEN THERENOW I WANT TO GO BACK AND SAY, KAREN AND I WERE ON THE BRINK OF DIVORCE. WE DID NOT DO THIS WHEN WE GOT MARRIED. WE DIDN'T KNOW THAT THIS EVEN EXISTED WHEN WE GOT MARRIED. AND SO IF YOU'RE NOT DOING THISBEEN THERE, DONE THATBUT NOT ONLY DOES IT WORK, IT'S PHENOMENAL. IT'S BRILLIANT. AND IT'S GOD'S PLAN A. SO I JUST WANT TO SPEND THE REST OF THIS TEACHING TALKING ABOUT THE BRILLIANCE OF EPHESIANS CHAPTER 5. SEE, A LOT OF TIMES WHEN YOU READ THE BIBLE, WE SEE IT AS BEING RELIGIOUS, OR GOD'S SOME FUDDY-DUDDY. YOU KNOW, I DON'T KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS. IT'S RELIGIOUS TALK. NO, IT'S BRILLIANT. THIS IS GOD'S PERFECT PLAN. IT WILL TAKE YOU, BOTH SPOUSES, BECAUSE MARRIAGE IS A WIN-WIN PROPOSITION. AND WHEN IT SAYS, BY THE WAYI STARTED WITH AN INCOMPLETE SENTENCE, "SUBMITTING TO ONE ANOTHER IN THE FEAR OF CHRIST." MEN AND WOMEN ARE EQUALS. AND WHEN THE BIBLE SAYS, "WOMEN, SUBMIT TO YOUR HUSBAND AS TO THE LORD," ALSO MEN ARE TO BE HUMBLE SERVANT LEADERS OF THEIR WIVES. MEN ARE NOT THE LEADERS OF THE HOME SO THEY GET THE BIG CHAIR AND THE CLICKER AND THE WOMAN'S SUPPOSED TO WAIT ON THEM HAND AND FOOT. MEN ARE THE HEAD OF THE HOMES THE WAY JESUS IS. THEY'RE SUPPOSED TO LAY THEIR LIVES DOWN FOR THEIR WIVES. AND SO NO ONE SHOULD BE THREATENED BY THIS, BECAUSE NO ONE IS GOING TO BE THE VICTIM OF EPHESIANS 5. IT IS GONNA BE THE VERY BEST THING THAT EVER HAPPENED TO YOU, AND LET ME TELL YOU WHY. NUMBER ONETHE ROLES IN EPHESIANS 5 MAKE US ATTRACTIVE TO OUR SPOUSE AND CAUSE THEM TO OPEN THEIR HEARTS TO US. BECAUSE WHEN YOU HEAR ME TALK ABOUT INTIMACY, NOW, INTIMACY IS NOT GOING TO HAPPEN UNLESS YOU OPEN YOUR HEART TO EACH OTHER. AND THIS IS WHAT EPHESIANS 5, WHEN YOU DO WHAT EPHESIANS 5 SAYS, IT ACTUALLY IS WHAT MAKES YOU ATTRACTIVE TO YOUR SPOUSE. LET ME GIVE YOU AN EXAMPLE OF THIS, AND I'LL TALK TO THE WOMEN FIRST SIMPLY BECAUSE EPHESIANS TALKS TO WOMEN FIRST. NUMBER ONE NEED OF A MAN IS HONOR. IT'S THE NUMBER ONE NEED. IT'SMEN NEED4 BASIC NEEDS OF A MAN IS HONOR, SEX, FRIENDSHIP WITH THEIR WIVES, AND DOMESTIC SUPPORT. THOSE ARE THE BIG 4 NEEDS. BUT THE MEGA-NEED OF MEN IS THE NEED FOR HONOR. IT'S OXYGEN IN OUR WORLD. WE ARE SO FRAGILE IN THE AREA OF OUR EGOS, IT'S HARD FOR WOMEN TO UNDERSTAND IT. AND JUST THE LEAST LOOK, THE LEAST TONE OF DISRESPECT IN A WORD AFFECTS US MORE THAN WE COULD EVER TELL OUR WIVES. I SAID TO KAREN MANY TIMES EARLY IN OUR MARRIAGE, KAREN, IT'S NOT WHAT YOU SAY, IT'S HOW YOU SAY IT. IT'S JUST THE ATTITUDE, THE TONE THAT YOU'RE CARRYING IN WHAT YOU'RE SAYING. SHE DIDN'T UNDERSTAND HOW IMPORTANT THIS NEED WAS TO ME. WELL, FIRST PETER 3 IS TALKING TO WOMEN, AND IT'S TELLINGIT'S GIVING WOMEN THIS PROMISE: YOU CAN CHANGE YOUR HUSBAND'S DISOBEDIENT BEHAVIOR WITHOUT OPENING YOUR MOUTH. THAT'S THE PROMISE OF FIRST PETER 3. IT SAYS TO WOMEN, "DO NOT LET YOUR ORNAMENT BE MERELY EXTERNAL, ARRANGING THE HAIR, WEARING GOLD, OR PUTTING ON FINE APPAREL. RATHER LET IT BE IN THE HIDDEN PERSON OF THE HEART WITH THE INCORRUPTIBLE BEAUTY OF A GENTLE AND QUIET SPIRIT"THAT'S JUST SIMPLY AN HONORING SPIRIT"WHICH IS VERY PRECIOUS IN THE SIGHT OF GOD. FOR IN THIS MANNER, IN FORMER TIMES THE HOLY WOMEN WHO TRUSTED IN GOD ADORNED THEMSELVES, BEING SUBMISSIVE TO THEIR OWN HUSBANDS, AS SARAH OBEYED ABRAHAM, CALLING HIM LORD, WHOSE DAUGHTERS YOU ARE IF YOU DO GOOD AND ARE NOT AFRAID WITH ANY TERROR." BECAUSE THE DEVIL USES FEAR. WHENEVER YOU'RE WANTING TO BE A WIFENOW, WHEN THE BIBLE SAYS SUBMISSIVE, WE'RE EQUALS. MEN AND WOMEN ARE COMPLETELY EQUAL, SO THIS ISN'TWHEN I USE THE WORD "SUBMISSIVE," I'M NOT USING IT IN THAT SICK KIND OF SENSE OF MEN DOMINEERING WOMEN. WE'RE COMPLETELY EQUALS. KAREN AND I NEVER, EVER TALK ABOUT WHO THE BOSS IS IN OUR HOME, BECAUSE THE BOSS OF OUR HOME IS JESUS CHRIST. WE'RE COMPLETE PARTNERS. WE DON'T EVER MAKE DECISIONS UNLESS WE BOTH AGREE. I NEVER DOMINATE HER, I NEVER BULLY HER, SHE DOESN'T DO IT TO ME. THAT'S SICK AND THAT'S DYSFUNCTIONAL. AND THAT'S NOT WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT. THAT'S NOT WHAT THE BIBLE'S TALKING ABOUT IS THAT SICK KIND OF A THING. BUT WHEN THE BIBLE SAYS "GENTLE AND QUIET," IT'S THE OPPOSITE OF ROUGH AND LOUD. AND A GENTLE AND QUIET SPIRIT IS A SPIRIT OF TRUST. IT'S, I DON'T HAVE TO DISRESPECT YOU. I DON'T HAVE TO BROWBEAT YOU. I DON'T HAVE TO NAG YOU. I'VE GOT GOD ON MY SIDE. AND I'M GOING TO HAVE A GENTLE AND QUIET SPIRIT. AND HERE'S WHAT IT'S SAYING. LADIES, YOU'RE BEAUTIFUL. AND WOMEN ARE BEAUTIFUL. YOU CAN'T HELP IT. YOU'RE JUST BEAUTIFUL. BUT DON'T LET YOUR BEAUTY JUST BE ON THE OUTSIDE. THIS IS WHAT IT'S SAYING. YOU NEED TO BE INWARDLY BEAUTIFUL, TOO. NOW, LET ME MAKE THIS COMMENT ABOUT OUR SOCIETY. THE MORE INWARDLY DEPRAVED A CULTURE BECOMES, THE MORE EXTERNALLY FOCUSED THEY BECOME. THE LESS YOU HAVE HAPPENING ON THE INSIDE, THE MORE YOU HAVE TO MAKE HAPPEN ON THE OUTSIDE. WELL, I'M ALL FOR WOMEN BEING BEAUTIFUL ON THE OUTSIDE. BOY, THERE ARE A LOT OF BEAUTIFUL WOMEN IN HERE, AND I KNOW THERE'S A LOT OF BEAUTIFUL WOMEN ACROSS THE COUNTRY WATCHING THIS RIGHT NOW. YOU CAN'T HELP IT, BECAUSE GOD MADE YOU BEAUTIFUL. BUT DON'T RELY SIMPLY ON YOUR OUTER BEAUTY, BECAUSE WHAT MAKES YOU MOST ATTRACTIVE TO A MAN IS YOUR SPIRIT. NOW, WHEN KAREN AND I MET WHEN WE WERE 16 YEARS OLDACTUALLY, WE WENT TO ELEMENTARY SCHOOL TOGETHER AND JUNIOR HIGH SCHOOL TOGETHER, BUT WE DIDN'T KNOW EACH OTHER. WE HAD A VERY LARGE GRADUATING CLASS. WE'RE RIGHT IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BABY BOOMERS. BUT WE MET IN HIGH SCHOOL. AND LET ME SAY, YOU KNOW, THERE WERE A LOT OF CUTE GIRLS IN HIGH SCHOOL. BUT THERE WERE CUTE GIRLS THAT I DIDN'T LIKE THEIR SPIRIT. THEY WERE AGGRESSIVE, THEY WERE, YOU KNOW, KIND OF, UH, YOU KNOW, LOUD AND BOISTEROUS. AND I DIDN'T FEEL SAFE AROUND THEM, PERSONALLY. BUT THEY WERE PRETTY. THE THING THAT ATTRACTED ME TO KAREN WAS HER SPIRIT. SHE WAS BEAUTIFUL ON THE OUTSIDE, BUT KAREN HAD A SPIRIT THAT I WAS ATTRACTED TO. THAT'S WHY I FELL IN LOVE WITH HER, BECAUSE I LIKED THE WAY I FELT WHEN I WAS AROUND HER. AND WHAT EPHESIANS 5 IS SAYING IS, RESPECT YOUR HUSBAND. GOING BACK TO FIRST PETER 3, WITHOUT EVER OPENINGRESPECT IS SO POWERFUL IN A MAN'S WORLD, YOU CAN CHANGE YOUR HUSBAND WITHOUT A WORD AS HE OBSERVES YOUR CHASTE AND RESPECTFUL BEHAVIOR. THAT'S THE PROMISE OF FIRST PETER 3. IT'S IT'S POWERFUL. IT'S WHAT MAKES YOU ATTRACTIVE TO YOUR HUSBAND. GOD'S NOT PUTTING YOU DOWN, HE'S GIVING YOU THE KEY TO YOUR HUSBAND'S HEART. YOU'LL NEVER RELATE TO ANY MALE WITHOUT HONOR. IF YOU HAVE SONS, ANY OF YOU LADIES THAT ARE RAISING BOYS, I'M JUST SAYING, YOU'LL NEVER INFLUENCE YOUR BOYS UNLESS YOU SHOW HIM RESPECT. BOYS ARE JUST LITTLE MEN, AND THEY HAVE THE SAME NEED TO BE HONORED AND AFFIRMED IN ORDER FOR THEM TO OPEN THEIR HEARTS AND TO INFLUENCE THEM. WELL, LET ME GO TO THE MEN FOR JUST A MINUTE, 'CAUSE IT'S REALLY GETTING TENSE IN HERE. [LAUGHTER] NUMBER ONE NEED OF A WOMAN IS SECURITY. AND SO WHAT THE BIBLE SAYS TO MEN, AND WE READ IT THERE IN EPHESIANS 5. DO YOU REALIZE THE BIBLE SAYS TWICE AS MUCH TO MEN AS IT SAYS TO WOMEN? AND IT SAYS, MEN, YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE A CHRIST-LIKE HUSBAND, TO LAY YOUR LIFE DOWN FOR HER. NOW, AS MEN, WE'RE HONOR ORIENTED. BUT WOMEN ARE SECURITY ORIENTED. IT DOESN'T MEAN THEY DON'T NEED TO BE RESPECTED. BUT THEY'RE MUCH MORE ORIENTED TOWARDS SECURITY. WHAT MAKES HER FEEL SECURE IS A SELFLESS, SACRIFICIAL MAN. WHEN KAREN AND I GOT MARRIED, I WAS A SELFISH IDIOT. I DIDN'T CARE ABOUT HER. I ONLY CARED ABOUT MYSELF. THE ONLY REASON SHE WAS THERE WAS TO TAKE CARE OF ME AND TO DO WHAT I WANTED HER TO DO. I WAS NOT SENSITIVE, I WAS NOT SACRIFICIAL, AND I PRODUCED ABSOLUTE INSECURITY IN MY WIFE UNTIL I CHANGED. AND SO WHEN THE BIBLE TALKS ABOUT MEN AND THE WAY WE'RE SUPPOSED TO BEHAVE AROUND OUR WIVESNOURISHING AND CHERISHING, LAYING OUR LIVES DOWNWOMEN FEEL SECURE WHEN THEY HAVE A SELFLESS, SACRIFICIAL HUSBAND WHO IS TUNED INTO THEM AND HAS A SERVANT HEART FOR THEM. WOMEN FEEL INSECURE WHEN THEY'RE MARRIED TO A SELFISH, DETACHED HUSBAND WHO'S NOT IN TUNE WITH THEM. AND OF COURSE THAT'S THE WAY THAT I WAS IN OUR RELATIONSHIP. SO LET ME GO BACK TO THE ISSUE OF SAYING, WHAT MAKES MEN ATTRACTIVE TO WOMEN IS THE SACRIFICIAL NATURE. AND LET ME PROVE IT THROUGH RESEARCH. THEY'VE DONE STUDIES OF WOMEN. THEY'VE ASKED WOMEN, WHAT MAKES YOUR HUSBAND MOST SEXUALLY ATTRACTIVE TO YOU? THEY'VE ASKED THIS QUESTION IN NUMEROUS STUDIES THAT HAVE BEEN DONE. EITHER AT THE TOP OF THE LIST OR ALWAYS TOWARD THE TOP OF THE LIST IS THIS RESPONSE BY WOMEN. HE'S MOST SEXUALLYLISTENI'M ABOUT TO GIVE YOU A SEX SECRET, GUYS. THAT'S WHY YOU CAME TO THIS SEMINAR, IS... WHAT MAKES YOUR HUSBAND MOST SEXUALLY ATTRACTIVE TO YOU? WHEN HE'S DOING HOUSEWORK. THAT'S EITHER THE NUMBER ONE OVER AND OVER, WOMEN SAY, WHEN HE'S DOING HOUSEWORK. THAT'S WHEN HE'S SEXIEST TO ME, IS WHEN HE'S HELPINGAND A LOT OF MEN THINK, I'M GONNA GO GET ME A TAN, YOU KNOW, THE OLD CHAINS AND... [LAUGHTER] PUT MY LOVE BRITCHES ON AND KIND OF, YOU KNOW, STRUT THROUGH THE HOUSE. NO, JUST GRAB THE VACUUM. THAT'S ALL SHE NEEDS. YOU KNOW, WASH THE DISHES, HELP AROUND THE HOUSE. IT'S ABSOLUTELY TRUE. WELL, THEN THEY DID A STUDY, AND THIS HAS BEEN REPLICATED OVER AND OVER. THE UNIVERSITY OF PENNSYLVANIA IS THE ONE I'M TALKING ABOUT. THEY DID A STUDY OF THE EFFECTS OF MALE SWEAT ON WOMEN. AND THESE RESEARCHERS TOOK MALE SWEAT AND APPLIED IT TO THE TOP LIP OF WOMEN. NOW, THEY DIDN'T TELL THEM IT WAS MALE SWEAT, THEY TOLD THEM IT WAS A HOUSEHOLD PRODUCT. 'CAUSE WOMEN SAY, "OH, GROSS, I DON'T LIKE MALE SWEAT." WELL, LISTEN TO THIS RESEARCH. 'CAUSE SEVERAL RESEARCHERS DIED, BY THE WAY, AND WE APPRECIATE THEIR SACRIFICE. [LAUGHTER] AND...SO THEY PUT MALE SWEAT ON THE TOP LIP OF WOMEN, AND THEY WIRED THEM UP SO THEY COULD PHYSIOLOGICALLY REGISTER THE EFFECTS OF THIS MALE SWEAT. OK. AND HERE'S WHAT HAPPENED. WHEN WOMEN WERE UNDER THE INFLUENCE OF MALE SWEAT, THEY RELAXED, THEY GOT HAPPY, AND THEY GOT ROMANTIC. [LAUGHTER] ISN'T THAT AMAZING? AND SO, GOD SAYS TO MEN, SACRIFICE, LAY YOUR LIFE DOWN FOR HER, SERVE HER. AND YOU'RE SAYING, AH, I DON'T WANT TO DO THAT. I JUST WANT A WIFE THAT'S JUST, YOU KNOW, SHE'S ALWAYS SEXUAL AND SHE DOESN'T NEED ALL THAT. THEY DON'T EXIST. NOT IN THE REAL WORLD, ANYWAY. I CAN TELL YOU THAT RIGHT NOW. AND SO FOR WOMEN, GOD JUST MADE THEM WHERE THEY'RE ATTRACTED TO YOU. WHEN YOU'RE BEING SACRIFICIAL AND WHEN YOU'RE SERVING HER, SHE BECOMES ATTRACTED. SO LET ME GIVE YOU THE INTERPRETATION, BY THE WAY, OF THESE STUDIES. THEY ASK WOMEN, WHEN IS YOUR HUSBAND MOST SEXUALLY ATTRACTIVE? WHEN HE'S DOING HOUSEWORK. AND THEN THEY STUDIED MALE SWEAT. SO HERE'S THE INTERPRETATION TO ALL YOU GUYS. YOU'RE JUST A CLEAN HOUSE AWAY FROM THE NIGHT OF YOUR DREAMS. [LAUGHTER] THAT'S THE INTERPRETATION HERE OF THIS RESEARCH. SO LET ME SAY THIS TO YOU NOW. YOU CAN NEVER THE INTIMACY IS THE PRIZE OF MARRIAGE. IT'S THE PRIZE. WHEN YOU GET INTIMACY, YOU GOT EVERYTHING. YOU CANNOT BE INTIMATE WITH A PERSON UNTIL THEY OPEN THEIR HEARTS. AND YOU WILL NEVER OPEN YOUR HEART TO A PERSON WHO IS THREATENING YOUR MOST SENSITIVE ISSUES. I JUST WON'T DO IT. IF YOU'RE DISHONORING ME, I'M JUST TELLING YOU, THE LIGHTS ARE ON BUT NOBODY'S HOME. I'M NOT GOING TO OPEN THE DOOR FOR YOU TO HURT ME. IT HURTS TOO MUCH. FOR A WOMAN, I'M NOT GOING TO OPEN THE DOOR FOR YOU TO REJECT ME AND WALK AWAY AND NOT BE TUNED IN AND NOT BE THERE WHEN I NEED YOU. IF WE ARE GOING TO HAVE INTIMACY IN MARRIAGE, IT MEANS WE TRUST EACH OTHER. A MAN TRUSTS AN HONORING WOMAN. AND A WOMAN TRUSTS A SACRIFICIAL MAN. AND WHEN THE BIBLE TELLS WOMEN TO RESPECT THEIR HUSBANDS, AND MEN TO LAY THEIR LIVES DOWN, HE'S NOT PUTTING YOU DOWN, HE'S TELLING YOU HOW TO HAVE THE KEY TO YOUR SPOUSE'S HEART AND TO ESTABLISH TRUST AND INTIMACY IN YOUR RELATIONSHIPS. SO NUMBER ONE, THE ROLES OF EPHESIANS 5 MAKE US ATTRACTIVE TO THE OPPOSITE SEX. UNLESS WE'RE VERY SUPERFICIAL PEOPLE AND WE MARRY BASED ON A PHYSICAL ATTRACTION, WHICH WILL, YOU KNOW, EVAPORATE IN A MATTER OF DAYS OR WEEKS OR MONTHS. THAT'S THE WAY IT HAPPENS IN OUR WORLD TODAY. A LASTING ATTRACTION IN MARRIAGE IS CREATED BY HONOR AND BY SECURITY. THE NUMBER TWO BRILLIANCE OF THE ROLES IN EPHESIANS 5 IS IT MAKES US SENSITIVE TO OUR SPOUSE'S NEEDS. IT NATURALLY SENSITIZES US. BUT BEFORE YOU'RE COMMITTED TO EPHESIANS 5, YOU'RE TELLING EACH OTHER WHAT YOU NEED, BUT A LOT OF TIMES YOU'RE NOT LISTENING. KAREN AND I WEREN'T LISTENING TO EACH OTHER. YOU KNOW, I WAS TRYING TO DOMINATE HER, I WAS INSENSITIVE, I WAS OUT TO LUNCH. SHE WAS STRUGGLING. I WAS PUTTING HER DOWN. SHE WAS DISRESPECTFUL TOWARD ME. WE WERE GROWING FURTHER AND FURTHER AND FURTHER APART, AND WE BOTH HAD UNMET NEEDS, WHICH ARE VERY DANGEROUS. LISTEN TO ME. WHEN A HUSBAND COMES TO HIS WIFE AND SAYS TO HER, I HAVE NOT BEEN A CHRIST-LIKE HUSBAND TO YOUTHIS IS WHAT I SAID TO KAREN. I HAVE NOT BEEN A CHRIST-LIKE HUSBAND TO YOU. I HAVE NOT CHERISHED YOU, AND I HAVE NOT NOURISHED YOU. AND I HAVE PUT GOLF IN YOUR PLACE, AND I JUSTI'M SORRY FOR THE WAY I'VE TREATED YOU. I AM. AND I'LL CHANGE. AND TO MY HURTTHIS IS WHAT I SAY TO KARENTO MY HURT, I WILL MEET YOUR NEEDS. AND YOU WILL NOT HAVE TO NAG, YOU WILL NOT HAVE TO BEG, AND YOU WON'T HAVE TO SAY IT TWICE. I'M COMPLETELY COMMITTED TO YOU. WHEN YOUWHEN A MAN IS COMMITTEDSHE'S IN HEAVEN, BY THE WAY. SHE'S IN HEAVEN. WHEN YOU SAY THAT, YOU'LL NATURALLY BEGIN TO LISTEN. YOU'LL NATURALLY BEGIN TO MEET HER NEEDS. BECAUSE YOU WANT TO. IT'S YOUR PURPOSE NOW. BEFORE IT WASN'T YOUR PURPOSE. YOU WERE DOING SOMETHING ELSE AND SHE WAS JUST ALONG FOR THE RIDE. WHEN A WOMAN COMES TO HER HUSBAND AND SAYS TO HIM, I'M SORRY THE WAY THAT I'VE DISRESPECTED YOU. I DIDN'T UNDERSTAND THE WAY MY WORDS AND MY TONE AND MY ACTIONS HURT YOU SO DEEPLY, YOU KNOW, AND HOW IMPORTANT THIS IS TO YOU. AND I'M SORRY, AND I REPENT, AND I WON'T JUSTIFY IT. WHATEVER MY FRIENDS DO, WHATEVER I SEE ON TV OR THE MOVIES, WHATEVER MY MOTHER OR MY GRANDMOTHER DID, I WILL NOT NEVER JUSTIFY DISRESPECTING YOU AGAIN. AND I REALIZE THAT GOD PUT YOU IN MY LIFE FOR A REASON, AND I NEED YOU. I NEED YOUR COUNSEL, I NEED YOUR WISDOM, I NEED YOUR INPUT. AND I'M COMMITTED TO BEING A GODLY WIFE AND PUTTING YOU FIRST. WHEN YOU DO THAT, LADIES, YOU NATURALLY BEGIN TO PICK UP ON WHAT HE'S BEEN TRYING TO SAY AND THE THINGS THAT ARE IMPORTANT TO HIM. I LOVE TO TELL PEOPLE THE GOOD NEWS THAT THEY CAN SUCCEED IN MARRIAGE. IT'S JUST WONDERFUL THAT GOD CREATED MARRIAGE TO BE SUCCESSFUL, AND WHEN YOU DO IT PROPERLY, IT'S INDESTRUCTIBLE. AND SO WEWHAT YOU SAW ON TODAY'S PROGRAM IS JUST A SMALL PART OF AN 8-PART SEMINAR THAT I DO CALLED "THE INDESTRUCTIBLE MARRIAGE," TALKING ABOUT AFFAIR-PROOFING, DIVORCE-PROOFING, RUST-PROOFING, HOW TO HAVE INDESTRUCTIBLE LOVE, INDESTRUCTIBLE COMMUNICATION, SEXUAL FULFILLMENT IN YOUR MARRIAGE. A BIG SEMINAR TO HELP YOU SUCCEED IN EVERY AREA OF MARRIAGE. AND WE WANT TO PUT THE FULL RESOURCE INTO YOUR HANDS, THE FULL MESSAGE THAT YOU SAW PART OF TODAY, ALONG WITH THE REST OF THE SEMINAR. RIGHT NOW, FOR YOUR GIFT OF ANY AMOUNT, TO SUPPORT US HERE AT "MARRIAGE TODAY"WE'RE A MISSION. WE GO ACROSS AMERICA AND AROUND THE WORLD HELPING FAMILIES IN THE AREA OF MARRIAGE. FOR YOUR GIFT OF ANY AMOUNT, WE WANT TO SEND YOU MY BOOK, "7 SECRETS OF SUCCESSFUL FAMILIES." FOR YOUR GIFT OF $55 OR MORE, I WANT TO SEND YOU THE FULL 8-PART CD SERIES, "THE INDESTRUCTIBLE MARRIAGE," ALONG WITH THE BOOK. AND FOR YOUR GIFT OF $90 OR MORE, IT'S THE DVD SERIES, ALONG WITH THE BOOK "SEVEN SECRETS OF SUCCESSFUL FAMILIES." THIS CAN SAVE YOUR MARRIAGE. THIS CAN CHANGE YOUR LIFE. TRULY. IT CAN CHANGE GENERATIONS IN YOUR FAMILY. MAYBE YOU KNOW OF SOMEBODY GETTING MARRIED OR SOMEBODY WHO NEEDS THIS KIND OF A RESOURCE. FOR YOUR GIFT RIGHT NOW TO "MARRIAGE TODAY," WE WANT TO PUT THESE IMPORTANT RESOURCES INTO YOUR HANDS, AND HERE'S HOW YOU CAN GET THEM. >> SUPPORT "MARRIAGE TODAY" WITH YOUR BEST GIFT AND RECEIVE THE SERIES "THE INDESTRUCTIBLE MARRIAGE." WE'LL ALSO INCLUDE THE BOOK "7 SECRETS OF SUCCESSFUL FAMILIES." THE CD SERIES AND BOOK ARE YOURS FOR A GIFT OF $55 OR MORE. THE DVD SERIES AND BOOK FOR $90 OR MORE. "THE INDESTRUCTIBLE MARRIAGE" SERIES WILL SHOW YOU THE DIFFERENT KINDS OF LOVE AND WHY ONLY ONE KIND WILL LAST. KEYS TO DIVORCE-PROOF AND AFFAIR-PROOF YOUR MARRIAGE. HOW TO BE ROMANTIC IN YOUR SPOUSE'S LANGUAGE, AND MUCH MORE. SUPPORT "MARRIAGE TODAY" WITH YOUR GIFT OF ANY AMOUNT AND RECEIVE THE BOOK "7 SECRETS OF SUCCESSFUL FAMILIES." EXPERIENCE "THE INDESTRUCTIBLE MARRIAGE" SERIES TODAY. Jimmy: IT'S GREAT NEWS THAT GOD HAS A PERFECT PLAN FOR MARRIAGE. HE REALLY DOES. SO MANY PEOPLE TODAY ARE BROKENHEARTED BECAUSE OF THE FAILURE OF THEIR PARENTS' MARRIAGES OR A MARRIAGE THAT THEY ARE IN OR THEY'VE BEEN IN. BUT I JUST WANT YOU TO KNOW, GOD NEVER CREATES ANYTHING TO FAIL. OR TO FLOUNDER. HE CREATES IT TO THRIVE AND TO SUCCEED. AND WHEN YOU ARE DOING YOUR MARRIAGE ACCORDING TO GOD'S PERFECT PLAN, IT'S GONNA WORK. AND EVEN ONE PERSON IN A MARRIAGE CAN DRAMATICALLY CHANGE THE MARRIAGE WHEN YOU BEGIN TO DO WHAT'S RIGHT. BUT THE KEY IS FAITH. THE DEVIL ALWAYS COMES TO US WITH FEAR. FEAR IS NOT FROM GOD. II TIMOTHY 1:7 SAYS THAT GOD HAS NOT GIVEN US THE SPIRIT OF FEAR, BUT OF LOVE AND POWER AND OF A SOUND MIND, IS THAT FEAR COMES FROM THE DEVIL TO TRY TO GET US TO DO THE WRONG THING. AND LET ME SAY, WHEN KAREN AND I WERE FLOUNDERING IN OUR MARRIAGE, WE WERE BOTH FULL OF FEAR. WE WERE BOTH REACTING TO EACH OTHER IN FEAR. BUT TODAY WE HAVE A MARRIAGE BASED ON FAITH IN GOD'S WORD. AND MOST OF THE PEOPLE THAT I'VE COUNSELED OVER THE YEARS, THEY'RE FULL OF FEAR, IS THEY'RE OPERATING BASED ON THE FEAR OF WHAT THEIR SPOUSE DOES AND FEAR IF THEY DO THE RIGHT THING, THEY'RE GOING TO GET TAKEN ADVANTAGE OF. BUT GREAT MARRIAGES ARE BASED ON FAITH. AND THE BIBLE TELLS US WITHOUT FAITH WE CAN'T PLEASE GOD. AND SO MY ENCOURAGEMENT TO YOU RIGHT NOW IS, HAVE FAITH IN EPHESIANS CHAPTER 5. GOD'S PERFECT PLAN FOR YOUR MARRIAGE, AND YOU CAN SUCCEED. YOU KNOW, THIS PROGRAM, "MARRIAGE TODAY," WE GO ACROSS AMERICA AND AROUND THE WORLD. OUR PASSION IS TO HELP PEOPLE IN THE AREA OF THEIR MARRIAGES, AND WHAT WE KNOW AFTER MANY YEARS OF DOING THIS IS MANY THOUSANDS OF MARRIAGES HAVE BEEN SAVED. DIVORCES HAVE BEEN CANCELED. WE HAVE COUPLES WHO ARE DIVORCED AND GET BACK TOGETHER BECAUSE OF OUR SEMINARS OR THE TELEVISION PROGRAM OR RESOURCES OR WHATEVER. AND THAT'S A THRILL TO US. BUT IT ONLY HAPPENS BECAUSE OF OUR FINANCIAL PARTNERS AND THE PEOPLE WHO STAND WITH US EVERY MONTH AND REGULARLY TO GIVE TO THIS MINISTRY. AND I'M ASKING YOU TO SUPPORT US IN THIS IMPORTANT MINISTRY, ESPECIALLY IF WE'VE HELPED YOU, IF WE'VE TOUCHED YOUR LIFE AND BLESSED YOU. KAREN AND I NEED YOU TO STAND WITH US, AND WE HAVE A GROUP OF PEOPLE CALLED OUR ROCK SOLID PARTNERS, AND THESE ARE PEOPLE WHO SUPPORT US MONTHLY. AND FOR MONTHLY SUPPORT, YOU GET A RESOURCE THAT NO ONE ELSE GETS, AND IT'S THE FIRST AND BEST OF ALL OF OUR MARRIAGE TEACHING THAT COMES TO YOU EVERY MONTH. AND YOU CAN GET IT ONLY ONLY ELECTRONICALLYON YOUR iPHONE, YOUR iPAD, YOUR COMPUTER. YOU CAN GET IT THAT WAY PLUS PHYSICALLY DELIVERED TO YOUR HOME, PLUS OTHER BENEFITS THAT WE OFFER TO OUR MONTHLY PARTNERS. AND I'M ASKING YOU RIGHT NOW TO CONSIDER BECOMING A MONTHLY PARTNER WITH US HERE AT "MARRIAGE TODAY." THERE ARE SUCH GREAT BENEFITS TO THAT. BUT, LISTEN, AS YOU'RE HELPING YOUR OWN MARRIAGEBECAUSE LITERALLY WHEN YOU SUPPORT US, WE INVEST BACK INTO YOUR MARRIAGE AND HELP YOU TO HAVE MONTHLY ONGOING EDUCATION IN THE AREA OF YOUR MARRIAGE JUST TO MAKE SURE IT DOESN'T GET STALE, THAT WHATEVER SEASON YOU ARE IN YOUR MARRIAGE, WHATEVER CHALLENGES YOU'RE FACING, YOU HAVE RESOURCES TO DEAL WITH THAT. WHAT A GREAT INVESTMENT IN YOUR OWN MARRIAGE. BUT AS YOU'RE DOING THAT, YOU'RE HELPING TO SEND THIS MESSAGE ACROSS AMERICA AND AROUND THE WORLD. KAREN AND I ARE ASKING YOU TO STAND WITH US AS PARTNERS OF "MARRIAGE TODAY," AND HERE'S HOW YOU CAN DO IT. >> WHEN YOU STAND WITH "MARRIAGE TODAY," YOUR INDIVIDUAL EFFORT MULTIPLIES WITH OTHER LIKE-MINDED PARTNERS, AND TOGETHER WE CAN REBUILD THE DREAM OF MARRIAGE FOR COUPLES AROUND THE WORLD. >> I WOULD RECOMMEND BECOMING A ROCK SOLID PARTNER BECAUSE YOU ARE GRAFTING INTO A GROUP OF INDIVIDUALS THAT ARE COMMITTED TO RESTORING MARRIAGE TO THIS COUNTRY, AND THAT'S SOMETHING WE WANT TO BE A PART OF. >> IN PURSUIT OF THIS VITAL MISSION, "MARRIAGE TODAY" UTILIZES A DAILY TELEVISION BROADCAST, MULTIPLE LIVE EVENTS, A COMPREHENSIVE ONLINE OUTREACH, AND HUNDREDS OF MARRIAGE BUILDING RESOURCES. YOUR PARTNERSHIP IS LITERALLY MAKING EVERY FACET OF THIS MINISTRY POSSIBLE. AND THAT MEANS COUPLES ARE RECEIVING THE HELP AND HOPE THEY NEED TO TAKE THEIR MARRIAGE TO THE NEXT LEVEL OF FULFILLMENT AND INTIMACY. >> WE ENJOY THE RESOURCES, WE ENJOY ALL OF IT. BUT I THINK JUST KNOWING THAT WE'RE TOUCHING THE LIVES OF SO MANY OTHER MARRIAGES, CREATING AN ATMOSPHERE FOR THEM TO GET THE HELP THEY NEED. >> BEING A ROCK SOLID PARTNER WITH "MARRIAGE TODAY" GRANTS YOU IMMEDIATE ACCESS TO AN EXCLUSIVE LIBRARY OF THE MINISTRY'S RESOURCES AND INTIMATELY CONNECTS YOU WITH OUR MISSION OF HELPING COUPLES SUCCEED IN MARRIAGE. >> WE'RE PROOF THAT THE MINISTRY IS BENEFICIAL AND THAT IT WORKS. IT HAS HELPED TO SAVE US. AND THAT MEANS THAT OUR CHILDREN GET TO GROW UP WITH TWO PARENTS IN A HOME TOGETHER. IT MAKES A DIFFERENCE IN OUR LIVES EVERY SINGLE DAY, THAT I COULDN'T IMAGINE NOT BEING A PARTNER. >> EVERYONE HAS SOMETHING TO GIVE, AND THERE ARE MILLIONS OF UNREACHED COUPLES WHO DESPERATELY NEED THE MARRIAGE STRENGTHENING RESOURCES OF "MARRIAGE TODAY." THAT'S WHY WE NEED YOU TO JOIN US. BECOME A ROCK SOLID PARTNER WITH THE MINISTRY AND MISSION OF "MARRIAGE TODAY." >> THANK YOU FOR WATCHING "MARRIAGE TODAY WITH JIMMY & KAREN." BECOME A ROCK SOLID PARTNER TODAY AND CONNECT WITH THE MISSION OF "MARRIAGE TODAY." TOGETHER WE CAN HELP COUPLES SUCCEED IN MARRIAGE.
