The Great Subway Jalapeño Scandal

okay um I just gotta say for the record that I have had enough you guys might have heard of this cool little mom-and-pop shop business called Subway yeah here's the thing Subway's pretty cool okay I've kind of taste you for the most part they just brought out sliders those are pretty shitty the Brad's a little limp and the meat is really wet and the guacamole kind of looks like caca moly if you know I'm saying but for the most part Subway's pretty lit I guess I get subway all the time I get like a six-inch it's like a few dollars in hell it's not that many calories and what do I get on that sandwich every gene hang time put some jalapenos you guys like jalapenos right it goes really well on a sandwich and they're G dang tasty so I've been noticing for quite some time now that it seems like every time I get some jalapenos on my flippin Subway sandwich I'm biting into a big ol hard stem I'm speaking about that really hard crappy inedible part that's at the top of the pepper that any sane person would throw in the garbage after cutting up the pepper but my experience with the subway jalapeno stem seems to have transcended location state hell I can't escape the damn thing now some of you guys might come at me and say okay so long there Gus this probably isn't worth making a video about okay I hear you valid point if I may make a very concise counter-argument why don't you take a bite out of my because this is worth making a video for okay so just to prove to you that I'm not flipping crazy today we're gonna go out on the town and I'm gonna get a whole buttload of Subway sandwiches all with jalapenos and we will count together how many sandwiches have stems in them but on that picture you name a minute princess without fit here we are boys first stop yet just jalapeno honey sandwich place number 2 5 foot long white sandwiches subway number three only jalapenos on every sandwich place the last subway of the day thanks guys kitchen where we are at the forefront of uncovering the latest biggest [ __ ] in the fast-food industry here I present to you 20 Subway sandwiches acquired at various locations across the Los Angeles area these sandwiches all have one shared characteristic I ordered jalapenos on them I did not ask for extra jalapenos this is the regular amount of jalapenos that were given to me but each subway worker behind us here we have the [ __ ] board where I will be telling in each day of the calendar boxes here how many jalapeno stems I find on each sandwich here's the information I'm going to present you with today of these twenty sandwiches what percentage of them have stems in them and how many total stems did I find on my 20 Subway sandwiches Oh so without further ado let's get going listen guys I get it I am a saint sandwich number one up Bing Bing Bing right off the bat one two boo-hoo-hoo this almost made the cut but she's cleans two stems for sandwich one well what do you know it's a landmine free sandwich stem once time for sandwich number three number four one stem oh my god ladies and gentlemen two stems three stems these are big-boy stems too you can't eat this [ __ ] it's undigestible I don't look that up please [ __ ] don't look that up that's a Danny quote but three stems from sandwich for it was a good year I was a junior in high school sandwich five one stem two stems there's not even any pepper on this this is just a pure stem three stems another pure stem for this one should come but I'm even gonna let it slide this [ __ ] is going onto the radar that's four stems for Sam's five now you guys can see I'm not crazy here okay no laughs what the [ __ ] is this look at this burned ass nasty stem you can't eat that [ __ ] Simon focus look at that Brodie one another pure stem to the black butt hole of death stem three four look at that five disgusting five stems on sandwich six sandwich seven I'm in heaven never mind here's a rind one two Joe here comes number eight right out the gate it's the stuff we hate yup there's a [ __ ] stem one just one stem on number eight okay can I just say we are eight sandwiches in and only a single sandwich has had no stems on it there's a hunk of stem just a stem cool what is this [ __ ] well it's a big hunk of stem this is not a stem and I won't count it but that is flippin disgusting four stems on sandwich nine boom one two three and four holy [ __ ] that's disgusting stem all right we got here looky here guys it's a full stem pointing right at you - oh my god it's a stem smorgasbord three four five oh my god these are disgusting look at this this is from one sandwich right here look at this disgusting look at that [ __ ] that's like a landmine every other bite and here's another one six disgusting hey what do we got here mom's cooking up some supper looks like we're having [ __ ] stems tonight boys - hey we got number 14 in the [ __ ] building looks like she's stuck to the brim with some stem am i right fellas look at this butthole looking stem here one not spinning that's how Squidward walks one two look at that this isn't a guys again I'm halfway through here getting closer just so you see what I'm looking at here for all you folks at home think I'm overreacting first of I am second of all this is what I'm talking about though this is literally inedible gross ass [ __ ] this is a full just weed in your sandwich - all right we're down to the final five here do we have one sandwich with no stems and that one was like arguably like oh stem right here one stem Oh looky here his friggin Bob the tomatoes whole goddamn head right here folks you see that right there stem 3 alright three sandwiches on number 15 there's 16 there we go three sandwiches ah shut up blow it out here here they used to say that in the 50s before they learn about swear words three before this crayons was my most expensive video and it was like I think ninety dollars or something ladies and gentlemen you are witnessing the most expensive Gus video ever and dare I say the stupidest Gus video ever back to you spread pillow guy still exists hey I'm gonna kill you I'll put it back oh my god just take a look at this [ __ ] you see that nice and clear folks at home this isn't some squeaky-clean Tom Bergeron AFV jalapeno this is rotten weeds you're eating there's another one two three hey it's a [ __ ] banana pepper and ask for that [ __ ] dude that shit's piling up great alright only three more let's open her up oh there we go look at that stem and here's two right there stem all right let's get in tight here in some of these examples so people don't think I'm just cheating it and just just making [ __ ] up look at this it might look like a regular ass jalapeno to the naked eye but it's the tips on some of these look at that that is a fully-fledged stem here this is hard gross ass [ __ ] you pull it right off look it's a stem phone all right here's another one same deal too dude half the stems I'm fine and aren't even connected to actual bits of edible jalapeno it's literally just the stem how does this happen here's another one for one sandwich left subway it's not looking good I'm doing the jalapeno countin just a weekly jalapeno Kevin for you perfect you know how it'd be me yeah I was about to go sighs wait we run a lot all right guys come on it's up here good shape he's little it's just he's more than Wow Wow hey this is the last sandwich Eddie's over here he has not been around for this experiment up until now stem right on the hunk end there and here's another stem right there you see that bad beauty oh wait oh we have a last-minute ringer stem three three one two three okay dude I'm gonna blow your flippin line here I just realize you're a doctor okay Eddie so I bought 20 sandwiches of these 20 sandwiches how many do you think percentage what percent of these have jalapeno stems in them well I saw I mean you just showed the last one yeah so I'm gonna before I even would have seen that one I would have guessed that in 20 sandwiches from you saying it was a big problem that maybe you'd find like 12 12 sandwiches no like usual 12 stems and all the sandwiches okay because you are already saying there's a big problem but then I just thought [ __ ] three so yeah 100% dude 95% of these literally one sandwich in 20 didn't have any stems these are the individual per sandwich stem count six five four four four what the hell and unity for difference that went to four different Subway's okay because even let's say that sir waist training is like this is how you kind of jalapenos and they deliberately say push the stem in there at least one employee's gotta be like I can't do that yeah he's sitting like this like a conspiracy level I do again I'm excited for the fitness going in I'm excited that this is really good content for this part of it but holy [ __ ] I did not think that bad until they cut them in house so they can shape then I really don't know whoever is supplying these it's stamp that's where we find this that's why they say we need more women in stem research I don't think that's related at all that's dead yeah okay all right yeah yes my follow up stems in there so after all was said and done in 20 sandwiches we found a total of 50 stems that's a lot of G dang stems guy what is the lesson here I don't know how to fix this subway with the hell man I'll keep eating your greasy little sandwiches but get this backwoods garbage [ __ ] out of my mouth this twist knows 2020 turn it off hello are we recording testing testing 2 1 2 me listen I'm gonna just be straight up with you guys right now I just got off the road I'm on tour right now when I've been on planes trains and automobiles for like dozens of hours in the last week some of you guys might be like me maybe you got the travel bug or maybe you got other downtime in your life maybe you're a student who's back at school now and you're gonna spend long hours in the art room maybe you're an athlete that's hitting the gym for hours at a time I don't know you don't come to my door I'm gonna get you well listen we got downtime all sorts of the times in the day and what better way to fill that time while you're doing other stuff then by listening to something on audible okay guy let me tell you about audible audible has an absolutely unmatched selection like an enormous amount of audiobooks of original series of documentaries you can listen to and even some really entertaining shows through their audible originals listen audible is super affordable heck do you even get it on your fricking phone so you can listen to it on the go and let me tell you if you whip that phone out right now you can go to audible.com slash Gus the link is also down in the description here's what you're gonna get you're gonna get a 30 day free trial but you're gonna get a free audiobook but you're going get two free audible originals but all right you got that you wrote it down audible.com slash Gus okay there's lots of good stuff to listen to recently i relist to Tina Fey's biography Bossypants it's freaking hilarious I don't know if you guys have read that book before don't read it listen to it on audible you can get so much more done audible.com slash you guys you're gonna save a dang fortune and if you don't even want to visit it you are out check that out you can text Gus that's G us to 500 500 and you get the same flippin deal so listen you heard it right from the horse's mouth I think that's probably an outdated phrase you heard it right from the Gus's mouth please visit audible check the links in the description thank you so much to audible for sponsoring this video and thank you guys for signing up rod ball and supporting me on the channel okay I'll see you in the future some more memes I'm gonna go take a steam shower and and and eat some instant ramen noodles bye guys [Music] [Applause] [Music]

Channel: Gus Johnson

Views: 3,783,229

Rating: 4.93782 out of 5

Keywords: the great subway jalepeno scandal, gus subway, how to make a subway sandwich, gus johnson, gus, subway jalepeno, subway stems, viral video, new meme, subway funny, funny subway, meme 2019, meme playli

Id: 4vtbkW4-9EY

Length: 12min 53sec (773 seconds)

Published: Wed Sep 25 2019