The Fifth Element - Nostalgia Critic

this episode brought to you by stamps.com why go to the store to get stamps when you can have them printed right at home for your convenience also brought to you by expressvpn the best vpn there is take back your online privacy today [Music] [Music] [Applause] [Applause] [Music] man it'll be nice to go on vacation for a while yeah i need a break from critic doing all those crazy things to us in his sketches speaking of which why has our travel agent been so quiet sorry i love turning around for the dramatic reveal we're in a sketch i should have known that with it being in the channel awesome studio wait a minute tamara maybe the criticist travel agent zorg has some good vacations how did you say that like it was a normal thing you know you really should listen to mr ray you know who we are critic for we specialize in nostalgic future vacation spots nostalgic futures don't ask him it's gonna be a bit we take customers to the futures past decades thought we'd get for example are you nostalgic for the 90s is he supposed to sound like holly hunter yes we are well we have several futures that the 90s predicted we're gonna happen come on tamara that sounds like fun well i guess i do have fond memories of the 90s of course you do here's a future from 12 monkeys this sucks what you think cold and apocalyptic all right let's try the future from the postman jesus verdict warm and apocalyptic well i gotta love the future here for water world what were we even standing on i got all sorts of nineties futures like terminator two matrix hmm this one's not too bad yeah everything's got a green tint but i could make it oh come on life comes from destruction disorder and chaos yeah but why did the 90s predict that the future would be terrible well all right no i do have one last future for you to fit the element oh wow this one's pretty great yeah it's imaginative and fun it looks like a place you could actually live are there any downsides to this well you would have to walk around wearing these well we've worn stranger on the show yeah let's do it and the occasional war zone what was that i know this music let's change the beat hey you're a monster i know yes the 90s sure did love their anti-authority whether it be parents teachers or society as a whole they love to encourage you to not conform just like everyone else bubble tape is not part of a well-balanced diet what a joy to have him in our family dreams sci-fi futures were the same most 90s movies set in the future had a dark bleak menacing world that had to be fought against but one of the few futures that broke the mold was 1997's fifth element [Music] writer director luke basan apparently wrote this in his teens and boy does it show this is a goofy action-packed totally all over the place flick that most people didn't know how to respond to when it first came out even today it's a little hard to categorize it it takes itself too seriously to be a comedy yet too likely to be a drama it's too cliche to be artsy yet too strange to be average doesn't have enough commentary to be deep yet is too abstract to be mindless action all of that in the long run weirdly worked in its favor as years later people like that it's hard to describe exactly what it is what they remember the most about it though is the future mixing cg puppets models and giving amazing detail to its designs from the clothes to the pamphlets they have a letter crossover like a graphic designer would they didn't need to do that but they did that it's one of the most livable futures ever put on screen we've only seen these kind of futures in animation like the jetsons or futurama so to see so much money put into it on such a grand scale truly was mind-blowing over 25 years later we're gonna revisit this unique future and see why on its own strange terms it creates something we've heard a million times but have never quite seen in this way so right here multipass this is the fifth element so it reinforces what i said earlier about being totally all over the place right from the start this is a movie with screaming djs singing smurfs and women wrapped in lasagna yet it starts off like a ridley scott horror flick a good one huh guess there is only one we open in egypt because everything in the 90s opened in egypt where a professor is making a huge discovery this meme i don't have time to list all the ways the internet used this so here's my top five a priest tries to stop their discovery but it's too late as teenage gold and pokemon turtles from another planet arrive are you german friends we are from france they reveal secret room where ancient stones and the fifth element are kept and need to be moved war is coming stones not safe on earth anymore given its history earth was a weird place to keep it anyway they kill the professor but luke perry's three minutes on screen tries to fight him off put the gun so i guess i'm dead i don't know i'm not in the rest of the movie but god help you if i'm not before the title pass your knowledge to the next priest vocabulary tortoise tells him to pass on his knowledge as we cut to 300 years later where an unknown entity is discovered hey who bit off the end of the star destroyer that's the best part we're in position mr president initiating a thermonuclear imaging so what you're saying is you don't know what this is so while i guess i can't say anymore this is the dumbest president i've seen he's still impressively stupid he's played by a fun actor too the late tom lister jr i actually really like when he pops up in something but the way he's written is like a complete dumb ass he never seems to know what's going on what you saying is you don't know what this is so what you're telling me father there's nothing that can stop why in the hell is it eating up all the salad you have any idea what's happening what does the one we're ready away what do you mean it's advanced what do you mean hello anthony hello hello who's that guy what did that guy say when i said who's that guy nobody seems to know what this ball of evil is except for father cornelius played by ian holm he says the ball of evil is get this a ball of evil it is evil absolute evil written by a teenager you say the president tells the army not to shoot but this is another movie military that goes ba to orders i have a doubt i don't mr president they're consumed by the pack pellet as we cut to corbin dallas played by bruce willis waking up from the intro and getting to his job as a taxi driver huh error number one like there'll still be taxis in the future ladies and gentlemen maybe my favorite character in the movie don't get me wrong there's a lot of weirdos in this but this dude takes the cake you have to push that little yellow button to load it take your time oh god he's like cheech bobcat golthwaite marin i have no idea what his deal is you don't mind do you take it [Music] you could cut him out and miss nothing but i just love him what's even this dance he's doing this guy is amazing very nice ad you like it [Music] how did they not replace the dancing baby in the 90s humanity is blind yertle the chicken nugget flies in to save the day but he's taken out by creatures called mangalores you know for protectors of the ultimate weapon they sure do go out like unprepared a lot don't they any survivors only one but thanos's hand survives and they say there's enough cells in it to bring someone back to life kind of like 3d printing a human hey look things are weird under a blacklight written by a teenager you say [Music] written by a teenager you say apparently this is the fifth element played by mila jovovich the supreme being with perfect cells i won't fight you on that but i never follow if she was a turtle before or a statue before how this worked compositional elements of his dna chain are the same as ours or simply more of them tightly packed with infinite genetic knowledge if he was a turtle was she like the perfect turtle if she was a statue was she like the perfect statue i don't know the scream on the floating thing from star trek iv doesn't look perfect to me i like to take a few pictures [Music] it should be pointed out that the language isn't gibberish well okay it is but it's very well planned out gibberish jofovich and passang worked it out and even made a small dictionary for it i like too that they didn't give her subtitles and let her other forms of communication come through with the character allowing us to also admire this language that sounds like backwards perfect cells make her super strong and she breaks out with the police chasing her [Music] we got her mug shot and her cologne add ready to go she crashes in the corbin's car who was immediately drawn to her and yeah honestly who couldn't be boom yeah i understand boom i know this is an age-old trope the fish out of water adorably not fitting in but when it's done well it's done well and djokovic does it really well it's funny for all her badass roles where she acts like she's too cool to care her strongest role is this goofy character because she's so passionate and does act like she cares you have an unauthorized passenger in your vehicle corbin takes pity on her and outruns the cops even the ones who are off duty thank you so much yeah i'd love to see today's mcdonald's employees wear that would you like my mcmuffins hotcakes or big macs how can you not love a chase that ends with a perfect moment from a disney sitcom laugh track [Music] she passes out yeah get used to that but she mentions cornelius who puts together who she is and tries to prepare for when she wakes up dallas purvilly doesn't wait written by a teenager you say a french teenager he's putting his plays before he's put in her place and yeah man i'd love to see what the translation says here he's not surprisingly kicked out when the fifth element we find out his name lilu says that the case with the stones was stolen by a businessman named zorg played by gary oldman never be ashamed of who you are you're worried a testament to this guy's performance as he agreed to this film without reading the script because bassan helped him finance a movie he directed as such he says he can't stand this flick but you would never know that from the performance he gives it looks like he's having a ball all those all goldie's with goatees flamethrower my favorite he's like clarice starling if her voice was slowed down by like 10 and she was a used car salesman handles adjustable for easy carrying good for riders and left with quick discreet interventions dr lecter my name is clarice starling maybe you can decide for yourself whether or not i'm qualified enough to do that one shot sends every following shot to the same location i also love this gun shame the movie doesn't it's only used once and even then it's pretty lame ooh the setting just like all other guns in movies when he discovers the stones aren't in the case as revealed by this woody woodpecker elmer fudd hybrid [Laughter] he leaves them one created guns but doesn't tell them about the little red button at the end of the gun oh did i mention this goofy music is used a lot [Music] it sounds like donald duck music trying to block out a super uncomfortable thing from a past cartoon jesus bring me the priest zorg stands for cornelius thinking he has information about the stones which leads to in my opinion a fun little war of mindsets life which you shall know we serve comes from destruction disorder and chaos destroyed zorg says life comes out of destruction and chaos so he's necessary but as he discovers one little flaw like choking on a cherry can destroy anyone no matter how protected also i love the simple honesty of this line you're a monster zork i know someone else saw the remake of scarlet letter while eating chinese corbin loses his job and on top of that gets a call from his mom corbin sweetheart you got broken fingers slappy squirrel and it's gonna sound weird but this is my favorite scene in the movie that shot just so feels like a real world to me the design of that boat which you could argue is the first food truck food boat whatever so feels like something that would exist in this future and this guy feels like someone that would exist in this future everything about this moment just feels like a window into another world that exists he even says a line i quote all the time when he bets him lunch that he'll get good news but finds out he's been fired he's that one lunch good philosophy i love saying that whenever someone looks on the bright side of something and i know that's odd but it's moments like these that make me love the movies because the fantastical feels so real i'll call you back the usual action slash comic farts does happen with corbin's old general recruiting him for a mission against the evil eight ball rigging a contest so that he meets with a singer who has the stones major iceberg will accompany you as your wife and yes she is made entirely out of sound effects lilu and cornelius arrive too so he hides the general only to find he has to hide them too because zorg's men are looking for him as well here's another line i shouldn't like as much as i do sir are you classified as human uh negative i am a meat popsicle because there's a stick up my ass the slime makes no sense why do i love it they take someone else thinking it's dallas and lilu accidentally gets stuck in the auto wash many toys today both times i've ended up in my arms romantic i guess i don't know he seems even more like a creeper now okay in all fairness willis does do a very good job in this yes it's very much the typical bruce wills performance but it's needed for a film like this it's like alex and alice in wonderland he needs to be the every person to react to all this weird-ass happening around him it works and he does bring a lot of charm to it knocks him out though and takes his winning ticket i'll take the mission [Music] kindly 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got a new schedule and material six days a week hope to see you there [Music] [Applause] at the airport lilu is told to travel with cornelius's assistant pretending to be dallas but dallas shows up just as she's handing over her multi-pass and yes she repeatedly lets you know that's what she's doing multipass multipass multiple sparks happen yeah she knows it's a multi-piece i won't point out all the memes that have been made from this bite we'll point out the one that hasn't this one shame on you internet oh mr dallas we really need you right now he's introduced to the dj the contest was based around ruby rod like i even need to tell you who this was played by this boy is fuel like fire so start melting ladies because the boy is hotter than hot he i always assumed this was a hybrid of prince and michael jackson and apparently they wanted prince to play the role i have no idea what about his personality would make them think he would say yes to this but honestly i don't know if that would work because i don't know if he'd be in on the joke now dave chappelle playing prince in this role that i could see working freeze those knees my please because herb's in the place and he's on like he reminds me of jk simmons and spider-man as a character in this over-the-top odd world giving an even more over-the-top odder performance or like steve buscemi and conair just when you think all the weirdness has been introduced as they upped the ante halfway through he also contrasts gray with will willis is still in quiet reactions it was bad it had nothing no fire no energy no nothing i just love his look like did your cheeto penis hair make contact with me [Music] after they get rid of the dr mario viruses on the ship they take off with lilo learning english in seconds from the computer hi i speak english now yes i learn can't figure that be the first thing she learned but again he gave us multipass so i can't complain zog's office zord gets a call from the ball who i guess also goes by mr shadow on the line what's this other alias mister and he says he's growing impatient please don't turn me into a sundae i'm too delicious they never do explain what this black gunk on people's heads are when they talk to this thing and yeah i guess the mystery is kind of fun as long as this dance never happens i'll be fine speaking of music the opera singer who has the stones performs in front of an audience and as i think many pointed out the note she sings are edited together because no human can go so low to so high so fast [Applause] some singers gave it a shot yeah i definitely went down the rabbit hole with this one and found jane zhang is probably the closest but even her phenomenal talent can't quite do it like the original [Applause] [Music] still pretty goddamn amazing lulu fights off the mangalores trying to take the case with the stones but sora comes in with his kick-ass gun on its most boring setting he shoots her all up as the mangalores do the same to the diva zorg leaves with the case leading to hands down the funniest scene in the movie to me they're not here how could anyone who made that so funny not love the movie they're in the diva tells dallas though that the stones are in hers [Music] whoa whoa i meant my hat ya psycho what are you doing dallas gets caught but teams up with ruby because things weren't silly enough who does his best impression of danny glover and or shia labeouf on fast forward fun fact this is the largest indoor explosion ever filmed i just wish it was shot so that it you know looked like the largest indoor explosion ever filmed surprisingly looks underwhelming he next has to save cornelius as he remembers the mangalores won't fight without their leader so he sent in to negotiate we're sending somebody in to negotiate anybody else want to negotiate he was a mouse hunt i don't know what you want me to say after that's a perfect line the ship is evacuated because there's a bomb on boards resulting in dallas and zork having their final walk past each other yeah this is one of those rare action films where the villain and hero never meet you know what their interactions with everyone else is so good while it'd be cool to see him interact it's surprisingly not needed oh no zorg accidentally goes down with the ship but the bowling ball of doom starts rushing towards earth there's a ball of fire heading straight for earth and we have no idea how to stop it this is where the movie starts to get a little boring they out of nowhere decide maybe we should throw in some commentary on humanity sucking and throwing lilu looking up earth's violent history wondering if it's worth saving okay this is something you introduced halfway at the latest not the last 15 minutes on top of that isn't it a little weird making a big stink about how war and violence is bad after we saw bruce willis blowing aliens up and shouting one-liners didn't an adult write this or not oh yeah [Music] it does give us one cool scene though where they had to figure out how to open the stones back in egypt corbin it moved devo boy is finally useful and figures out the stones have to be opened with whatever element they represent and you know a scene is working when the character says hold your breath and i legit hold my breath every time but like i mentioned lilu has to be convinced the world isn't all filled with hate good inhumanity blah blah blah it's the use of saving life when you see what you do with it dallas assures her though that there are some things that are worth saving like love love is worth saving i don't know love well okay i've never been to monaco but it doesn't mean i'm gonna let it blow up also funny how we go from dallas moving way too fast on lilu to suddenly he's not moving fast enough i need you why tell her colin please because i love you written by a teenager even these cartoon characters would say this is going too fast it of course works and she uses her fifth elementy powers to stop the ball of evil drat i've been foiled by the power of love planet seems to have stopped at 62 miles from impact until the next concentrated ball of evil i guess the president and his team laugh unaware they now have another moon that's gonna destroy their tides but he wants to congratulate our heroes who pick a really weird time and place to bang they need five more minutes okay one more minute and that was the fifth element i'll admit it's not hard to see why somebody wouldn't like this movie even some of the people in it but it grows on me the more time passes the problems with it are very obvious with its simple writing and cartoony characters but i don't think it really tries to be anything too deep honestly the weaker moments are when it does try to be about something and even then they're pretty short and saved until the end i know a lot of celebrities use the term popcorn movie when they want to defend a film they're in that they know is bad but this really is a perfect example of that it's a fun and silly action flick that uses unique and creative ways to be a fun and silly action flick what it lacks in intelligence it makes up for impassion what it loses in subtlety it finds an optimism and what it misses with ideas it hits with world building it's not that no thought was put into it it's just put in places most filmmakers consider secondary like the environments costumes and side characters i guess it doesn't make it a great film but still want to admire and enjoy i know it's not everyone's flick but if you're in the mood to be creatively stupid and stupidly creative this is the sci-fi flick to check out so how's your little vacation and how you liking your clothes you know i'm not gonna lie i'm digging these clothes a lot more than i thought are you sure this is right it looks right malcolm but it doesn't feel right welcome to being a woman that's right enjoy your time and just ignore that plan of evil racing towards you wait what oh you can figure out the value of human life in two minutes i don't think we can do that last night i hate being in these what's up everybody our cameos for charity are still doing great and so we're gonna switch it up this month all through june we're donating our cameo money to friends of firefighters friends of firefighters is a not-for-profit organization that provides independent confidential and free mental health counseling and wellness services to active and retired new york firefighters as well as their family members so if you want a cameo from me as the nostalgia critic saying happy birthday or congrats or whatever you can think of click the link below and be supporting a wonderful charity and even if you're like screw you i don't want cameo from you well spread the word about this charity anyway check out the site donate or share it on social media thanks so much again and take care [Music] you

Channel: Channel Awesome

Views: 393,021

Keywords: channel awesome, nostalgia critic, the fifth element, the fifth element review, fifth element, fifth element review, fifth element opera, doug walker, movie, film, sci-fi movies, movie reviews, film review, fifth element movie, fifth element movie review, bruce willis, bruce willis movies, bruce willis fifth element, multi pass, chris tucker, milla jovovich, nostalgia critic reviews, nostalgia critic reaction, fifth element diva song, best sci-fi movies, top sci fi movies

Id: yhYc0pfXp3Q

Length: 30min 31sec (1831 seconds)

Published: Wed Jun 08 2022