Con Air - Nostalgia Critic

this episode brought to you by raid Shadow legends the mobile RPG done right [Music] [Music] [Music] hello I'm the Nostalgia Critic I remember it so you don't have to there's a certain magic to Nicolas Cage movies okay not all of them but there's a certain magic to most Nicolas Cage movies there's a certain magic to early Nicolas Cage movies he's one of those actors that whether in good films or bad films or whatever Mandy was he can't help but love the dude with his bizarre performances ranging from chaotic screaming to half a week mumbling he can't argue he doesn't just do his own thing and never apologizes for it not that any of us wanted to apologize and the time period you could argue was the decade of the cage was definitely the 90s true he had some hits and memorable moments in the 2000s but the 90s is where he's seen particularly on fire even more than when he was actually on fire whatever you think of his movies from other decades the world of entertainment loves 90s Nicolas Cage I'll prove it to you hey Tamara yeah do you go to Hollywood for me what for I want you to praise the 90s Nicolas Cage movie just because really yes do Conair stand on the street praising his greatness and a way for their instructions hey can I go to Hollywood - no you get a cookie Oh today's review is terms of endearment or I guess Conner makes more sense after all it at least in 1997 Kate share the main stage with other big actors at the time John Malkovich and John Cusack but it turns out this movie was the taxi of action film this is practically everybody in it went on to success including Steve Buscemi Ving Rhames Danny Trejo called me yet O'Brien Monica Potter Keltie Williamson Rachel to Colton and even Dave Chappelle I guess it makes sense to put so many big and crazy performances together so that Cage seems like the least crazy out of all of them directed by Simon West the same guy who did Tomb Raider Expendables 2 and no [ __ ] Rick Astley's never gonna give you up video this is exactly what you would expect from a guy who directed Tomb Raider Expendables 2 and no [ __ ] Rick Astley's never gonna give you up video it's over-the-top filled with energy covered in more nineties cheese than a Ninja Turtles pasta dinner it's everything you would expect and what out of a movie like this there's a lot to enjoy so let's take flight this is a mai tai per chance request some cookies it's a perk happy production tell us what the start oh speaking of which this is con anger the film opens with caves playing Army Ranger Cameron Poe returning home after being honorably discharged here's footage of the ceremony he meets up with his wife Tricia work who's excited to start their new life together you kidding you're gonna be missing a family let make sure that is very proud how many times have I told you I'm not pregnant Oh am I kidding I'd be more concerned if Nicholas Cage didn't greet me like this but trouble comes a thank you gentlemen but I'm taking this is a special occasion if you don't mind like it's been advanced with my wife yeah you'll notice cage has sort of a raising Alabama accent in this his southern voice is kind of like if Keanu Reeves from The Devil's Advocate eight foghorn leghorn tuba toothpaste and two pecks of pall malls in the campaign he's been a terrible husband to all three of his wives I got locked down three months before she was born I don't want to keep you from chickens it's not especially good but I'm not gonna tell him are you in a somewhat confusing scene they're attacked by that group of drugs and PO kills one of them in self-defense but since he's advised to plead guilty he gets even more time than what his lawyer said he would get admit to it sir baby here you shall remain incarcerated seven to ten years I'll see your howl and raise you up what I don't know I'm sure it's the same judge you put John Spartan away all's fair a means to an end Court now prison life is very structured more most people care for but there's a spirit of camaraderie that exists between the man as the credits roll years go by impose daughter writes to him she lovingly respond somehow including his clunky accent in every letter dear Casey it was so good to read your letter daddy today was my first day at first grade I didn't like it mama says I have to go back tell her not to make me there Casey I am in prison not up daddy are you ever coming home dear Casey why did you write me one sentence that was weird enough time passes though and it looks like he's finally being released his bunk made Bubba I mean baby Oh Bubba Oh weirdly sounds better it's ecstatic for him yeah but I got this new prison you're going to who's gonna watch your back guys got my back what the Bubba squeezes nads off screen for safety they place him on a prison plane with the most dangerous criminals in the world as two cops oversee the transport one named Larkin played by John Cusack and the other name of Lloyd played by as kicker yeah sounds like the personalized plate of a Trekkie a cop is being snuck on to try and get one of the prisoners to confess an information leading to one of the coolest scenes in a movie like this the lineup yeah you know this routine fast editing slo-mo footage of verbal backgrounds about the badasses you're about to see that's William Bedford aka Billy bedlam caught his wife in vent with another man killed her parents her brothers her sisters even her dog Nathan Joan he wrote a book in prison called reflections in a diamond die they're talking to Denzel for the movie these scenes are always so awesome you can replace the characters with anybody and it'd still be intimidating Cyrus Grissom aka Cyrus the virus kidnapping robbery murder parcel we detest third grade at Lakewood elementary place the piano wears a yellow cotton sweater nearsighted since birth Buster Baxter Arthur's best friend obsessed with aliens owns an amateur detective business plays the tuba profited off the now multi-million dollar holiday Baxter Day pal pals a dog this is why you're here figure out how this is possible oh man it smells like someone's [ __ ] in your mouth told me he loved me Dave Chappelle he's in Ron tomatoe prison for not using walk jokes Oh your tweets we need him alive okay who's that guy that is Cameron Poe a parolee hitching a ride home he just got picked up for a Pantene pro-v commercial he's getting some practice but she's looking at Punk nothing I was just my own your cage do you hear that nicholas cage isn't miring a cage I expect five memes in the next three minutes Internet go welcome aboard my my I look around I see a lot of celebrities among us Christ that's an understatement Oh stewardess what's the in-flight movie that's it's called I'll never make love to a woman on the beach again and it's preceded by the award-winning short no more steak for me ever I have literally waited hours for someone to ask me that thank you for allowing me to do my routine oh this goes smoothly those monsters I believe it please Jenny this is a well-oiled machine oh wait you Zach been holding that one in long why was he busy eating all the tomatoes from the prank roaming here's my chance to s'matter please Jenny this is a well-oiled machine you know who else was concerned about stuff Hitler but would you know it something does go wrong as one of the prisoners named Cyrus the virus played by John Malkovich teams up with some of his other prisoners and brakes up taking the guards hostage and freeing the inmates ladies and gentlemen this is your captain speaking as much as I mock Malkovich's acting in other films he really is perfect in this his brilliantly pretentious yet childish nature makes him a perfect foil to cage is simple yet grown-up demeanor he lost your mind according to my last psych evaluation yes yeah seeing how this is a broad camera production we really should do a count of how many shots were made just to go before the title in a commercial welcome to Conair but the top that's nut gun uses his gun to try and take control of the plane the next time you choose a human shield you're better off not picking a two-bit negro crackhead hey I might turn that into a character thanks Galbatorix PO tries to talk him down Singh he's gonna get everyone killed resulting in the cop getting shot but even worse getting a disappointed caged face that's less of a guy who just saw someone get murdered and more of a guy who thought magis missed the breakfast Baconator at Wendy's they discover that three prisoners they need to drop off on ground have been killed though meaning their cover will be blown when they land we have three white guys sure was they saying it bindings we be [ __ ] wow that's heavy 90s they get three volunteers to impersonate the prisoners well in Cyrus's cell Larkin finds the original DaVinci Code that car mr. e nygma cypresses the Riddler stay here don't touch anything they also discover a box that says do not open can we do so Jim to touch anything yeah he's a cop what do we know if that was Joan Cusack you don't listen all of you stay here do not touch anything well that's what they get for not getting me a Malibu Barbie Syrus exchanges the prisoners for even deadlier ones gaining a pilot but losing a Chevelle white memes please hmm congratulations you a pass means 101 please collect uh sweating Jordan Peele as your diploma I really should have kept Chappell Oh Who am I kidding he would have quit anyway meanwhile on the ground the two angry Cobbs do what angry cops always do in these movies gilja little [ __ ] you've got my agent killed brought a gun on board and got himself killed and in doing so he compromised the safety of my man your man are incompetent these characters are such archetypes you could put him in any situation and they disagree about everything what do you want for lunch I don't know pizza what do you think you're doing kerfuffle my job and apparently yours opened against you have no idea how to handle this operation this operation was thoughtful minute you showed up yeah no record no right what about the rights of my dead partner fine we'll do delivery but no carry out fine what kind of toppings were you thinking I don't know that just ain't right kerfuffle would have let the rights of my dead partner one of the new prisoners is a child serial killer named garland Greene played by Steve Buscemi because let's face it only Steve Buscemi could play this role in 1997 what do you want to do with him I don't know but this is no way to treat a national treasure Frank Iero it was critically underrated they set them free and get on the radio with the two cops on the ground list of course I'm you puny [ __ ] animal hey I don't like him if he speaks again this conversation is terminated that was a great impression of Twitter where you going with my plane Cyrus we're going to Disneyland you're lying Cyrus you know touchstone is a Disney property maybe we will be flying over the shores of Mexico but first we have to change aircraft thank you and have a pleasant flight Larkin puts together that poem might be staying on the plane to save the few good people still on it but I am authorized to bring agent Sims killers to justice when exactly do this become a DEA jurisdiction the second the DEA agent was murdered we're going with black olives Oh what is it have to be black olives instead of white off there's no such thing wrong they are found in Portugal east across the Mediterranean but not on pizza you're not a pizza you're right what about the rights of my dead partner did you even have a partner no cuz he's dead okay we all know how this ends whoever's better-looking and has a more likeable personality is going to live the other gets blown up oh well I think we all know how this is gonna turn out Oh take it let it my wife and kid wait do you even have a wife and kid no cuz their dad [Applause] [Music] introducing rainshadow legends red is a mobile RPG round every RPG game must 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playing clicking on this you will not just enjoy one of the best mobile games on the moment but you also will be supporting this show so when you waiting for down low raid PMI links patron dot me slash nostalgia raid which you will also find below in the description and get a special package with to hunt hot two hundred thousand silver uh to clamp off keys ten mystery shots and the amazing champion adjudicator this package will only be available for the next thirty days though so go click on the link patron dot me slash this time charade I've never special offer Hey hey you can see us at c2e2 in Chicago Illinois February 28th to March 1st booth 102 we have two panels this year a channel awesome panel Sunday at 3:15 and the movies everybody disagrees with you on panel Friday at 6:45 but if he can't make you throw those trapped by booth 102 to say hi you can also see us at Midwest gaming classic in Milwaukee Wisconsin they prefer to the fifth will have a booth and panels there as well drop on by and say hello we'd love to see you guys there [Applause] so something appears to be wrong with the landing gear and it looks like Chappell has something to do with it I mean a dummy that poorly made should at least be buried with some dignity Paul writes a message on him and they kick him out of the plane every time we get away a Mark Twain Award winner falls from the sky and lands on my [ __ ] last week Neil Simon fail on my Cadillac Larkin gets Poe's wife and daughter in his office to see if they can figure out why he would choose to stay on the plane it's not a comment some parolees actually fear their release date fear of coming home fear of living in society my daddy's afraid of coming home whatever Kranz he's got this little girl to come home to to be a pretty strong reason to get me on that plane mommy I like hearing we may never know why daddy abandoned us friends speaking of which one of the inmates finds that polite as he was going to be let go when the plane landed put the bunny back in the box but the bunny back in the box I think it's safe to say that line was only written because they knew Nicholas Cage was gonna say it I mean if Arnold was there I'd be a batch of cookies and he would say but they'd cook it down now the two of them squat fight that's the thing now and poem pails him on a pipe could you put the body back in the box if it was Arnold who told it you can eat my cookies suppose smells his hands as we finally get some dialogue from the much built up child killer what if I told you insane was working 50 hours a week in some office for 50 years at the end of which they tell you to piss off I'd say sorry you worked corporate at Toys R Us but a lot of you turned out this way one girl I drove through three states wearing her head as a hat you just snuck aboard this movie didn't you like you were shooting a remake of em next door and suddenly you're like I want to invade a dumb Bruckheimer film and nobody was brave enough to turn you away well I can say is well done you're making Nicolas Cage you look like the normal guy the plane lands on an airfield in the middle of nowhere to grab another plane to complete their escape thank God the innocents were spared black and arrives in secret at the location while Cyrus gets ready to kill the guards but Poe again intervenes well it's not difficult to surmise how nathan here feels about killing guards and my own proclivities are well known and often lamented facts of penal lore that is the most john malkovich thing I have ever heard john malkovich say there is no way the writer of this film came up with that line it must have been written by the foppish one himself how dare you credit how dare you think I would impose my creative intellectual endowment on somebody else's creative than dead verse so really not a venture telling me that was always the line from the movie yes true I may have improvised a little bit off script but it's still the general ballpark what was the original line well naturally I keep the scripts of all my masterpieces on my food ah here we are so in the movie when I say semis how Nathan here feels about killing guards and my own proclivities are well known and often lamented facts of penal lore in the original script it was alright again same general ballpark well you're certainly dedicated coming into this review wearing a prison costume oh this isn't a costume Oh I was asked to do bird box - ah and I take it you said yes no but I thought about it oh that was enough pose right so get back there and dig the plane out but not everybody is looking so lucky what hat size are you Larkin runs into Poe and they both explain their situation there's only two men I trust one was me the others not you that's such a bad guy just always in the wrong place at the wrong time that's what my agents been telling me recently what are you gonna do for me what do you think I'm gone they're almost hidden [ __ ] day I am so hard it was like some of the inmates were trying to steal the plane that everybody was going to use but the rest of the inmates stopped them crashing into a gas station sigh Inara mas run with the most intense and dear friends only the caveman can give oh no Roadrunners coming right at us okay I have great parents well garland successfully transforms into a Peter Lorre cartoon it looks like the cavalry arrives so our enemies have to think fast about how to fight them off this is the boneyard this is the hangar this is our plane this is how Malkovich tells the story of Peter Rabbit to his kids what's that that's a rock that's a different cage Bruckheimer production at least they're progressive criminals get them in there think of any trouble kill them what can I do hop in the birthday cake and don't pop out until you hear dear Cyrus the inmates take out a good chunk of the cops and get back on the plane to take off accidentally taking Malloy's car with her it's okay my vehicles in hot pursuit over 20 years later that's still one of the funniest lines I've heard darling gets on the plane as well and oh look the kids okay you can find your folks in the fridge Poe's note from his daughter is discovered though but baby Oh takes the rap saying he's the one that's been lying it's pretty clever huh [ __ ] no that's clever it's really not that's the best line a criminal genius could come up with at that often lamented facts [Music] July 14 I don't have to mock Malkovich's voice she's doing a pretty good impression right now July 14 make a move and the bunny gets it was there a rush to finish writing your lines in the last third of this movie to my own proclivities so I'll take you to get chased by more cops as baby Oh seems to be on his way out there ain't no God he don't exist hey what are you going I'm gonna show you God does exist I'm gonna star and left behind I'll prove to you God exists and pro to me that he doesn't I'm so angry I'm not even gonna flinch when you shoot me I will however let out a passionate are we the plane makes it to the Vegas strip which officially makes this part of the cave Vegas Holy Trinity as of course they have no choice but to land on the strip is it that Buscemi's contract that when doing a brookheimer film he has to be strapped to a chair acting crazy I just like to say is cool and awesome and badass as this scene is we could have been touching down to Disneyland just say it's a spin-off of their blockbuster giant spinning propeller slicing through a metal wall is met with a comfortable step backwards we couldn't even get a Malkovich soliloquy out of that in recent memory of late I cannot recall an action that signified such oh never mind but back that guitar is heard literally when cage gets up every morning a [Music] cartoony Malkovich gets away and I guess that's just material let's see next time take the bus so that was Connor a goofy but still pretty enjoyable action quick how are we still going yeah despite this perfectly good spot to end and even a decent run time of an hour forty minutes the film decides to go an extra eight minutes with a completely pointless firetruck chase [ __ ] y'all police always leave keys and their bikes oh alright so here's the thing I have no problem having an extra and battle help James Cameron practically made a living perfecting that but it has to either outdo or at the very least match the previous action sequence he just had and in all honesty this climax kind of sucks not the idea of a fire truck chase though grant is not as cool as a [ __ ] plane landing but look at how it's edited look how sloppy its paced and how hard it is to make out it's almost like it realizes this is a waste of time and tries to get it over with as quickly as possible help look at this edit after Cyrus flies off the truck is that at all how he fell or where he landed I swear I'm not reading that this is literally the two shots back to back and they make no sense and for a criminal mastermind he couldn't put together that the best way to avoid this incredibly slow-moving Squasher was to move his head I know he's tired but a lean forward was too much for his brain to process that's not difficult to surmise how this is the only part of the movie I consider way and it only gets lamer every time I see it I honestly think you would have a faster and more fitting ending if you simply showed us this Chris [Music] I'd be satisfied in a weird way I'd be satisfied po saves the bunny from the sewer and thanks Larkin for his help there's now three men I trust one of them no it's the bunny the second is that chimp I watched in Ghost Rider tell me you're surprised he finds his wife and kid and finally gets her the toy I got a present for Casey I like bears no no no it's okay [Music] and it's still a better bunny than what you get this was fun to search so everybody seems to get a happy ending even Psychopaths bound to kill countless amounts of children new shooter coming out new shooter does the new sure to feel lucky and that was Conair unless is there a climax with us to which truck or something no no it's real this time this is a super enjoyable mindless wake it's not Dave is not groundbreaking if it was never made cinema one suffer a major laws but it's just fun all the actors look like they're having a ball the setup is creative it's got plenty of laughs with the exception of that unneeded action sequence it's a good time all the way through it's nice to see a cage action flick that's enjoyably crazy and he's not the enjoyably crazy part about it if anything he's almost the voice of reason it's rare to see an over-the-top film that he's not over-the-top in and it surprisingly works here so buckle up and take to the skies with this goofy but definitely fun 90s hit the only part that got under my skin though was never delivering on that Steve Buscemi character I know that's part of the joke but it just didn't seem satisfying to me it just seems weird to build up something so early on yet never give a payoff I think he's forgotten all about this yeah I'm starting to get that feeling too you my own proclivities are well known and often lamented facts of Penal hey Doug Walker here the acumen fund is this week's charity shout out founded in 2001 the acumen fund is a global venture fund that uses entrepreneurial approaches to solve the problems of global poverty they seek to prove that small amounts of philanthropic capital combined with large doses of business acumen can build thriving enterprises that serve vast numbers of the poor their investments focus on delivering affordable critical goods and services like health water housing and energy through innovative market oriented approaches if you take a look at their site you can see they believe that pioneering entrepreneurs will ultimately find the solutions to poverty any financial returns they receive are recycled right back into new investments this is a smart charity with a four star rating on Charity Navigator and deserves any attention or donation you decide to throw its way take a look and see what you have to offer you

Channel: Channel Awesome

Views: 710,464

Keywords: channel awesome, con air, con air review, nostalgia critic, nostalgia critic review, movie review, film review, 1997 movie, nicolas cage, nicolas cage movie, john malkovich, ving rhames, dave chappelle, steve buscemi, danny trejo, john cusack, 90s movie, 90s movie review, action movie, action movie review, put the bunny down, 90s movies, nic cage, best nic cage movie, best 90s movies, movie reviews, film reviews

Id: 3Md_amTcl1c

Length: 31min 19sec (1879 seconds)

Published: Wed Feb 05 2020