Whiskey Ginger - History Hyenas - #066

hello whiskey ginger fans it's me the red roll cat you want to come see the red rocket live I got a bunch of stand-up dates I've told you the red rocket 2020 term baby I'm excited right now at this very moment I myself am in mini soda I'm in Minneapolis Minnesota man tomorrow night I'm gonna be in Madison Wisconsin come out and see me boy next weekend I'm gonna be having some fun with my with my homeboys not on tour take a little bit of time off and then I'm gonna be in Vancouver at jfl north and the dates for that are gonna be February 15 and 16 I'll be in Vancouver on the 22nd I'll be in Bakersfield California and then 28th albion st. Andrews Hall in Detroit Michigan 29th I'll be in Atlanta Georgia March 5 6 7 Philly punch line March 13 Chicago Illinois and I'm putting up all the dates you can look up online it keeps going and going and going and going and going and going and it never stops go to Andrew Santino come for tickets you can also go to Andrew Santino com sign up for the patreon we're putting up so much new amazing incredible content you can't get here you can only get there three different tiers cool stuff at each tier also you can go to Andrew Santino comm and check out some merch we have amazing merch like hats and shirts and a hoodie we got all sorts of cool stuff so go to Andrew Santino calm stop asking me what do you come to um what are you coming to Miami oh it doesn't say oh it says it it says it on the tour go to Andrew Santino calm click on the [ __ ] tab that says tour then click on merch and then click on patreon then click on YouTube or Twitter whatever the [ __ ] you want to know what you had 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and gentlemen welcome back to whiskey ginger my guest today is one of my favorite people on earth I say that for all my guests but I mean it for these two gentlemen especially today two of the sexiest [ __ ] toots on this side of the Mississippi ladies and gentlemen it is Yanis Pappas and Chris de Stefano yon pop and Chris Edie kids ladder 14s inside of my house guys excited to be here and we have to take our shoes off you had to take your little shoes off leave your socks on look at you have red socks that looks so cute well because I'm trying to you know it's a lot of things we're out in Los Angeles I want to be like bling and pop so right did you block what red side have you ever noticed that his foot put it to the side is actually shaped like it's in a high heel yeah was that because if when you were a kid yeah you would you would you wear your mom's heels around the house what yeah it was a story I was wearing my mom's clothes the McLaury brothers used to [ __ ] with me and one time I was they made me dress up in my mother's high heels butt naked go downstairs my mother's high heels with the Miami Miami Dolphins football helmet on and go answer the door for the Chinese delivery guy and then one of them pushed me out and I fell down the stairs outside on to the New York City public sidewalk and they lock the door yeah and I was out there on an August day for about an hour and your mom's got big she's got big feet for my mom's got big what sides of your feet what what size your feet I got I got 12 12 what are you Yanis is a 10 you know what that means you live longer yeah smaller feet means they live long look at the Asians those [ __ ] live to be a thousand tiny little feet yeah tiny little feet big feet 12 12 and a half yeah it sucks I'm gonna die soon you and I are on the same path both come on man let's all put it in if this podcast doesn't end with a read you became wrapped around my uvula like I'm [ __ ] heroin it's not a good pun you know how the clip the last time he was here you were about you out the girl in him I don't know cuz I cuz because your were each other's type you know we probably would have had sex and you would have taped it I would have taped it yeah yeah I'm a producer would be my role be a director yeah yeah what would you be I thought about this yeah the other day I was thinking about what role would you play in a porno you know like of all the character roles that you see in pornography what role what do you think you'd play you'd be the girl a lesbian scene really is that your Mosca you think that'd be your most comfortable spot I think that's my most comfortable spot I think that's me truly Who I am I think I have a woman's brain I do I have a little bit of a woman's brain really yeah why do you say that I cry at movies what movie was last move you cried all of them what's the last movie I saw uncut gems I cried you did yeah I cried well part at the end when he got shot in the face yeah because I boiler yeah if you haven't seen it if you haven't seen it Adam Stanley gets shot in the face there we [ __ ] for that it doesn't really matter no you should have seen it by now I feel like that anyway you see it for like what it feels like to do cocaine that's movie is like ah did you like it it was intense I loved it but it was like a hundred miles an hour from the beginning to the end mm-hmm do you like it uncut gems I really really really liked it he did really like that I think Adam Sandler was great in it and that was Adam Sandler that was Adam Sandler nobody stoker some [ __ ] has no [ __ ] idea what the whole movie that was Adam that was Adam you think he got snubbed by want to talk to you guys because that's the whole thing now they're getting the snub thing I read it online you know does any of you care I don't care I don't care about any of it who cares who gets nuts do it but it's like I you know I just want to be on people's podcast it's like what [Laughter] I don't care what [ __ ] nobody cares about the movies and TV nobody cares no one cares well here's the problem I think that we like I don't care I don't ever really seek an award that kind of thing but I know what if they had podcast awards like funniest podcast stuff we'd want it yes see that's my point is so we all are able to poopoo stuff until it's about us and then we're like okay I want it we're pieces of [ __ ] and we need we need validation at any level I mean anyone that says you know the famous actors that like oh I don't care underneath it's like secretly everybody does want everything like look I the Ricky Gervais sting that got a round of a Golden Globes I called burn bill and I were talking about something else and then he I just brought it up and man he let me [ __ ] have it because I was like oh it was so funny he was like yeah but you know it's just like it's an it's it's like that's what happens to Hollywood all the time is they get [ __ ] on he's like it's not like a surprising thing to watch someone [ __ ] on celebrities I was like ah that's really that's true cuz he got a lot of he got a lot of praise everyone was like it's incredible I loved it too but that spills inside perspective I think for the Oscars it attracts an audience that otherwise wouldn't be tuning into that Hollywood sure would [ __ ] so it was good he was sort of he had the platform and he did it yeah which I think was cathartic for a lot of people like ordinary yeah I agree but the problem is he does it every year that's the thing is like I think that's what Bill was saying was like it's nothing new they hire you know in this whole like what's he gonna say it's like well probably the same fucked-up [ __ ] he said last year it's just gonna be more extreme because no no no but but also like he got what he wanted out of it I saw him tweet online you like thanks for the new three million followers three million or something like that he sold out he just sold the quickest ticket sales he sold like it was like a highest highest selling artist in the history of and and the most viewed Netflix special yeah yeah I was like wait what no really that's does that not surprise you I feel like that was for some reason I thought Chappelle hey they had that number because he's international I think it's a little bit international if you go you think foreigners don't like black people I think you know they don't I don't think I know that yeah you know that they do do that right but it does have and then they accuse us as being racist yeah it's like when you go to their soccer games you just see a whole section doing nothing yeah they do not see [ __ ] yeah it isn't that funny that uh-huh what's a Nazi 101 oh four to 108 oh my god they're so good so good if a regular ticket is 105 bucks that thing keeps tiffin I'm sorry about that you know what put it to your side put it to your right side I'm teaching Chris how to move the mic to the side and I could stretch up my high heel feet yeah I was talking to someone over the weekend about that that everybody says America's racist I was in Canada right now and the perception of perception of America is [ __ ] to me from Canadians because all they do is talk [ __ ] but in a time of need of literally anything where would they [ __ ] go - yeah you need us you need us okay Wes there's always the one sending the troops yeah and we're the one who how racist are we really we elected a black president twice yeah two times we've had a black Supreme Court of Justice black every high off the mayor of Chicago is a black gay woman I mean what the [ __ ] what we um we did it that's a casino cutting gling gling all the points come out any discrimination it's in those three it's that's it we knocked it out of the [ __ ] park and she was I'm just saying I think like we get a lot of heat for being racist you know why because we have a country filled with everybody go to [ __ ] France ask how they feel about Spanish people be like oh you guys like Spain see what they say yeah and you're like oh we're racist they're the most [ __ ] everyone else around the world is territorial and racist and it's allowed to be because their country is in its one culture right go to Japan you can't even [ __ ] rent an apartment there if you're not Japanese you know hardest to buy property in Japan if you're not Japanese it's almost impossible I mean what I could see them not wanting to rent or sell to Americans because I mean we did some damage what do we do we drop the we point okay so you know you have a hot pocket yeah put in the microwave yeah that's what we did to the country boys go the crack was perfect by the way Hot Pockets tweeted out the other they were like we need we need to work with new influencers anybody got any ideas and someone tagged me for some reason yeah and I was like this is Jim Gaffigan territory and no no and they said and they literally go hot pockets tweeted me and goes no it's not or something like that and I wrote hey hot pockets yeah yeah it is yeah yeah what are you talking about he like he breath he made you guys relevant again 50 million people heard that bit it went around the internet a thousand times every day every pocket you know so funny it's a fan right now he is eating a hot pocket putting it down sliding the plate away I don't eat that [ __ ] that's that's [ __ ] up do you guys eat embarrassing stuff what's your what's your sad meal mice um well I'm gonna have some good sweets ones yeah oh yeah well definitely sweets I like to eat I'm a kid on Chrissy tiramisu I like tiramisu a lot I'll eat two to three tiramisu in a in a city where from where from um Gino's Gino's pizza on Fifth Avenue Bay Ridge Brooklyn cha that's the first time that guy shut it out all the way from Los Angeles Angeles that weird [ __ ] loss yet just count for not else Midtown one as well why not and then I also like up my move is what I like is I like it's not like two regular slices and I also get penne vodka with grilled chicken and I put the penne vodka and grilled chicken on the slices whoa whoa whoa whoa with tiramisu and I like a dyke oh yeah why you diet coke no cow I love that die go cut a quarter on the drink right and I'm a big kid I like Teddy Grahams I like chocolate etiquette oh those in a bowl with almond milk and I eat those to the face my pillow in Italian peanut butter in it yeah Jesus Christ sweets problem yeah you do but you but you don't have you're not a fat guy you're a sick boy yeah boy but I was I was a chunky monkey um a couple years ago but I'm just yeah I still eat like bad but I train I try to try what's yours what's your dirty little secret before he has he does have a weirdly big ass yeah no I've seen your butt your butt's big actually that's why your your special came out and you said thirty size 36 38 waist yeah and the only reason it's 38 you touch because your hips aren't that big it's you know it's what I've said about myself before and I'm I have leading-man face best friend body I heard you white [ __ ] talking [ __ ] about me she hears it already this isn't even out yet she hears it lunch lady my father came and there was you know they asked it was a good stoked you're stoked yeah yeah relief it was yeah so they asked people to come up to say goodbye to the coffin and Chrissy went up and I'm sad in the front you know and this is why I love Chris he just makes me laugh at the worst times he stepped up on to the altar - you know like - to go and when he stepped up the back of his jacket flared open and his ass just popped like I was a cartoon like an accordion he's got a big like like it just came out it was beautiful but I mean it was really flat I turned around I was laughing at my dad's funeral because he wise was pissed yeah really it looked weird cuz I just laughed I think in the front row of his dance but it wasn't on purpose it wasn't a big ass it was so what that's for fun that's for fun purpose to make Johnny laughs what would your dad have said that was funny rebel three dollar bills like a three dollar bill that generation made up stuff that didn't make sense that's a big one they like the Chinese hump Johnny Popp vestibules yeah that is that that's where they put Puerto Ricans pronounce the puede what are the guano Ricans by the way despondent me do you guys say huge or huge as a huge you do New York says huge they love that huge you say huge we set huge say huge huge hard to do isn't it for some reason unless you grew up with it what if I say so oh my god I think is huge people look at me like I'm a [ __ ] psycho huge oh that's [ __ ] huge you say like you know Trump does what you do Trump goes huge yo yo J right like most things he's right every sono you you agree with 95 to 97% of what he says and we talked about this before does yeah public public no you would never tell the world how big of a fan you are yeah not until now do you think my hand is not going immediately to the right in that voting booth in November 2020 this is a this is terrible but I open the show all weekend this weekend and I said I said I but thank you guys for coming out I don't know if you guys are paying attention to what's going on around the world right now especially Australia it's very sad it's heartbreaking so I want to let you guys know I've decided tonight all the ticket sales every single dollar tonight of your tickets and people are already like whoa and every single dollar was going to Trump 2020 campaign yeah he's 2020 campaign what do you like him or not you've invested you've invested isn't that funny - for someone to take their ticket sales and do that would be would be wild if I did that show yeah and then I and I'd list their names cuz they bought it online I could list their names that donated now man you decided to pay me so I'm gonna donate this case yeah half of the I mean the crowd loved it they lost it but then after what some one woman was like are you really gonna donate your ticket sales I was like no no what are you out like so so [ __ ] dumb so dumb yeah go to you after she after a comedy show and ask if you meant something or say they're offended by something it's almost like going into a pizza store and going do you guys so you guys have pizza here I mean it's a [ __ ] yeah it's insane if you're taking anything literally you obviously are missing we're at the store you're in 1% this this this this woman said this weekend she goes she asked I did a joke on on your mom's house on on cigars and I did it I did this whole joke that I didn't I was paying for another man's life and I was decided that I was getting out of comedy and getting into porn and I wanted to further my career as a pornographic actor right yeah and she literally was like I I thought you really were gonna get into porn like I looked it up like I didn't know do you were you do you plan on really quitting comedy and I was like ma'am don't ever come back to a show please don't don't if that's you if you have no idea that that's an obvious joke like I get scared when I say that stuff on a podcast and people who don't get it I'm just like oh my god are we slipping away from reality that far that they don't know I mean comedians like we were talking about the other podcast it's like you get say held to the same standard as a politician it's like it says in my bio I'm a comedian everything that you hear and see I'm [ __ ] I'm [ __ ] around it's being assaulted yeah under attacking like that I love the Ricky Gervais thing and I also love Dave Chappelle's twaimz yeah it was wonderful because when you have the biggest dogs in the genre defending the genre it makes it a lot easier for the little guys who would you know like us we're getting like you can't say that can't say that can't get this can't get that can't do that don't do that don't do that didn't that funny to think that the previous of the forefathers of comedy that before us we're way more [ __ ] up than we ever were and that's the irony is like now we're the bad guys for some reason you're like are you kidding did you ever hear what Don Rickles used to say you ever pay attention to anything like I love when people say that they're a fan of his and I was like really it's the same way I feel about Howard Stern like I have nothing but respect for Stern but it is funny that there's all these like super hardcore liberal feminist activists Hollywood people that go there he's the same guy who's like how big is his dick you know I mean he's like the first guy to be like let show me your tits you know I mean Gwyneth Paltrow let me see your tits it's so funny that like wheat they hold everyone holds everything to a difference and so you're right when a big guy in comedy stands up for the whole of us to be like you guys can't you can't pick and choose you you have to let this all exist you can't just go they can say it because they're more famous no [ __ ] that people are you have to let it all exists when Chappelle said that [ __ ] when he said I don't care if I know he's racist and I disagree with him I might still have a beer with them afterwards it's just that's the world of comedy that exists I was like thank that's that's what it always it's what it used that's what that's what you should be the norm and now it's like this weird shift but [ __ ] all that [ __ ] all that you I think I think now the real comedy fans in my opinion are solidified as as the actual consumers of comedy more than ever now it's not just a trend it's not like I love comedy I think now more than ever I see people it's like they're all hardcore comedy fans that are coming out they're like wanna be they're bad which is good it eliminates the [ __ ] people that don't even want it you know we just came here and we thought it was you know whatever it's like me and we didn't like the way he talked so I go well [ __ ] don't come then well that's what's beautiful about this is like this unfiltered unedited we can do it's like we're in these people's ears for like an hour a week and they're just we feel like it's almost like we're part of their family I'm inside your car yeah I'm inside their car right let's say I'm inside your car right now I'm inside your [ __ ] 2013 Hyundai Sonata and I can hear it that trunk is rattling right now isn't it yeah yeah I hear you Mike I see you driving alone on 185 I know what's going on with you pal listen don't do it put away the gun he just pulls over he's not to cry if you aren't going to do it I would livestream it oh yeah like mathletes free family did you see what Antonio Brown did today what did he do now you know who that is don't you no of course yeah he [ __ ] he was kicking as a cop we got the cops called on him he's kicking his girlfriend or his wife or whatever out of his house it's losing it to this guy I mean going he was live stream and he was even Instagram live and he's like that's right [ __ ] you [ __ ] ass [ __ ] calling dropping a lot of ends dropping a lot of juicy big specifically no nose okay call him no nose no nose no for some reason he was losing it on the cops in this woman it's just like that's another example when you get too big and you let it go to your head and then now he's gonna be a guy we see on ESPN in ten years who went broke spent all of his money and did all the [ __ ] up [ __ ] what if he thought truly mentally ill and I wonder if he's suffering from CTU's gotta be yeah get him in there what it was that wire bothering you know you want it and the front just makes me feel good yeah when I got like something nice between my legs long and hard at black yeah is that a typical thing for you I've never loved I think we've said this on the on the podcast before that I we I certainly fall in love with men and have sex with women do you ever think about a man when you having sex with a woman no I don't ever think about a man when I'm having sex with a woman but I did come once getting a [ __ ] and it was taking me a long time to come and then when I finally did come it was I was watching ESPN and LeBron James dunked and his muscles look great and I came so I don't know I can tell you this for sure I'm a hundred percent I am a hundred centrum I'm not gay but I'm also a hundred percent sure I'm not straight yeah I talked to dr. Drew about this I was asking if every guy you know you hear these rumors that every guy had a gay experience young did you ever get experience when you were young yeah a little bit but he did wasn't a big experience is a quick lick of each other's penises whoa how old probably 25 26 years old whoa yeah I feel like it's a little late yeah I'm joking yeah it was seven so I know I know you were seven years old no I'm just gonna make it younger to make it sound better I was four you were four or five five and you when your buddy were hanging out and you pull the trip in your pee pees out oh it's Brooklyn oh this is in Brooklyn oh yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah this makes sense she kissed each other on the no no you willing good was it good or a ton of the lick I never did i miss Doane I never had a gay experience and what happened after that you thought I don't want to do it again I think a lot of guys jerk off together drew was telling me that not all men do that but I go I think most guys have circle jerk or jerk off experiences with other men drew didn't andrew has had no gay experience whatsoever he was saying that it's not a normalize it's not a it's not a thing that shouldn't be acceptable or normalized but it is something that is because of horror cuz of hormones the the intense amount of hormones that are happening when you're going through puberty it's completely normal to be sexually so overtly frustrated that it's not about gender at that point you're just looking at how can you get your penis rub touch jerk calmed it's just a religious hormones I think he has that gay experience is any blacks mouth you think so for sure I know some because I've been in the room with the money but the gauge it's been going down really give me something give me something no nothing we just I did his show last year it was great and we were talking about vitamins and health things and all that and then he just took his shirt off and I started look at his nipples you licked his nipples yeah and what did he say no he asked me to put coconut oil on them cuz he's kedo mm-hm and then I licked I looked as I licked his coconut oil nipples and then I started yet playing with his balls a little bit and then and then somebody came in and stuck a broom handle up my ass and then I blacked out let's just get work for a sponsor a grinder check it out they're good I would love Grindr to be a sponsor I'm also jealous of that like look I missed the [ __ ] I missed the app revolution but I also I I don't think the up revolution is that cool anyway for single people as much as is for Grindr for gay guys it's like the coolest thing in the world because tinder is like a whole thing Grindr you just get the [ __ ] like give your address your actual dress I mean our gay friends you know they'll leave the door open in their apartment and the guy which is coming jerk him off suck their [ __ ] whatever and leave and then leave there's no like profile pics of faces on Grindr no such ABS yeah a buddy man I ran into having a dinner with a friend and we just got to talking about it and I was like where'd you where were you before this he's like I just you know I'm [ __ ] this dude and I was like oh really he's like yeah I go have you ever walked in cuz because he makes them bend over he wants them bent over when he walks in and I said have you ever just walked in and not like the ass and left he's like absolutely multis like but that's a total normal thing for to walk in and go no thank you and then leave oh my god you accent do you have a hundred clean eyes right now no I'm always I'm always a little bit shady of yourself a percentage what would it be 68 68 Wow yeah were you at I'm saying right now I think I'm hovering around 78 79 percent cleaner much better than me though do you baby wipe when you're done I do baby wait when I'm done put in LA does that hurt the toilet system here whatever everything's so fresh we throw it in the trash here oh you throw the trash here how do you wash your ass that you got off the plane yeah I did that's why I had a break but I'm still saying even though I wash my ass I got off the plane I still know I'm a little swampy had to run you know go grab something real fast from the store so it's kind of like I Reba I rebuild the stank within 10 to 15 minutes of getting out you know it's a lot of hair doing comedy it's not as good I'm at my peak my best when I'm 100% clean clean I'm talking shower I'm talking to swap a wish hazel yep I'm clean yes but can I tell you it's either under percent clean or I'm super confident when I'm a filth bucket in the middle I'm not that confident but if I but if I if I have meetings all day my feet stink they hurt my backs tired it's the last one of the day I got a little bit of a little bit of streak in my underwear like I know I I [ __ ] and I didn't wipe and it was a little bit left you know yeah oh yeah then I'm walking that meeting I'm booking the gig I don't care I don't give a [ __ ] you what I've had I've had four because Jana Jana said he had diarrhea once for two years which is wild yeah yeah until he gave me the probiotics I'm taking now you ever yogurt you see yogurt I just yeah I do eat a lot of yogurt - I don't know that's really good score great for you you you had diarrhea for to have a solid [ __ ] for like a couple years is that bad that's right I've had the opposite by the way I've had I've had rabbit poops one time for like three months straight you know that like poop report the pellets what was going on and not drinking enough water not getting enough good food not sleeping well enough you know it's all that's all that's it they're really pooping all it is is you gotta drink water get some good sleep and and don't eat trash that's all it is and then you start to put yep because because I had diarrhea for like two and a half weeks Wow it was like getting to the point I was like am I ever gonna have a solid [ __ ] again and now like I'm just taking nice s-shaped beautiful [ __ ] this is nice that's that's what they want to see I'm a see I'm a c-shape I don't get an S is a lot that's really nice doctor that means you'd curl doctors just want to see form to your [ __ ] they don't want to see palettes that I want to see clumps yeah I want to see a formal letter [ __ ] what would your letter be well my shits are always the same here it is my shits are always like a big log when they're healthy yeah and there's always just an extra on top like loose poop yeah loose pull that's like a Sunday it's just like yeah scoops of ice cream and then whipped cream on top it's always loose poop on but that drops on it right it's like when you when you do the when you soft-serve you know the Machine the moment you turn it off some still comes out a little bit yeah that's it you get a little extra soft-serve there yep little spray yeah how comfortable you with the bathroom stuff with with the opposite sex are you comfortable can you have the door open or no yeah I fart I fart Abed I do too and I feel like that's probably not good huh now the old bag doesn't like it like every girlfriend I had I would like always like if I took like a monster like huge s shape [ __ ] I would like call them in really you're a disturbed child yeah I want to do it but I just [ __ ] held their face right over the water can one can slice the car this was before me too you could do things like yeah you could you got away but now you can't you get in trouble I'm Dell I usually be delicate without farting into bed I won't fart on the couch no because I'm afraid it's a nice new couch I don't want us to sit in the fabric yeah you guys want to help we need someone to cheer us on a little bit yeah I get tired halfway through I need someone to be like do what will you really 100% love that [ __ ] come on man come on buddy you got it but we've been edging we've been edging so I'm trying to get come on man so when you get close to coming and you stop you're building up a pressure building up dude you build it up this asian [ __ ] dude the Asians do all that weird [ __ ] but when do you when do you finally come then you do it a couple times then you get ready and then the pop is way stronger yeah okay so it's on the same sex thing like but yeah it's in the same session wait two days no no no you can't no sting does that sting does kamasutra that's a part of kama sutra sting sting won't come for like a week and then come and lose his mind he'll build up all this you know like like the blue ball at the idea of blue balls which we don't get anymore because you're too old for your balls to have that kind of stress it's like I could get close to coming and stop and then have a normal day yeah it's like you can [ __ ] I could go to work but with us it's like yet during sex you just you you build up and then then you either change position to do something to switch so you're not gonna come so you just wait right before you orgasm you stop you do it a couple of times and then the pop is big guys like sting do it though for like days on and the guy's a freak dude he does stuff where he just massages massages their feet and jerks off until he's girls go and then he stops so he's single he's doing this I don't know I don't know I think he's got a lady but he's known to kamasutra [ __ ] that says thing I kind of want to read the book now yeah yeah I would do it because Indians are freaks dude they got a billion of those [ __ ] say look how many people Indians and Asians I mean yeah the same thing they are Asian Indians or Asians yeah that's what I'm saying also by the way you can't say there were so we say in America we say Indian in reference to Indians but also you don't really say Indian anymore for Native Americans but like I don't think it's anything that someone would be like oh my god about but I said that in Canada whoo no big there Inuits Inuits it's called there come the woman said to me she said my the bartender was like my boyfriend was shocked or whatever and I said what is that and she said oh he's native I said oh okay and then I just in the next random part of the conversation I said do you because your boyfriend is Indian right and she was like oh my god and she was like the most offended I was like no I mean I mean native like Native American name and she's like that is that is so [ __ ] racist I was like that's your dad dead ass I didn't mean a date like that of course I well you know I go dude I said feather not dot lady you [ __ ] trash bag and so fun no she lost it on me and for a second I thought I I guess I get it maybe that's not the right term but I yeah I did I knocked her the [ __ ] out a tip there nothing good are you trying to have kids right now yeah a little bit a little bit a little bit a little bit you know so hard schedule things are so hard to I'm going right pouring she on a calendar she's like yeah it's like when she feels like she's you know the middle of the worst you know yeah having a bad day you got a bad phone call and a 60% clean you lost the job it's all going downhill why don't you want to [ __ ] me yeah let's do it right now nope nope I had my kid was just like you had a kid on accident going out but it's like I feel like sometimes that's the way it's just what a reeking womb I think the egg just comes out grabs the sperm in the incident yeah yeah no it was it was instant I mean she got pregnant did you know the moment that you came that you might be in trouble she did she knew it she knew she was like I swear I feel pregnant like an hour later an hour but she had a kid already so she's like it's the same feeling so we went got a plan B and it didn't just how many kids she has now she took a plan B still got pregnant beats water Ricans bro can Islanders think they got it man 1% guy she took a plan B and so she didn't take out no she was like Joker's like I swallowed it yo but when you when you right now when you're trying to do it if you're trying are you thinking like you want no it's a good one that makes the kid yeah there's a few where I'm not really knocking it out I'm like I hope this wasn't the one oh yeah there sometimes sometimes when I not and I think if that was the one I'll be bummed yeah cuz I'll think like the one I just did wasn't that athletic performance I want him to be I want him to have some skill like you you want top or I always tell her blow jobs work the best I say you keep blowing me let me come down that throat get you pregnant right away I tell it you want to hear a real a real story babe yeah so so my kids one of my kids mom my daughter was born three days late so on she's born on May 19th on May 16th we went into the doctor's office and it was a dual Ana dual that there has like Hasidic Orthodox Jewish like some are actual Hasidic and some are Orthodox Jews like very extremely religious people that's who gave that's who later like midwives so it's May 16 she's like come back tomorrow so we go back now it's May 18th and you have to keep coming back after you miss your due date and she goes you know asking all these things you try this you've tried that and then a doula says she goes have you swallowed any of his sperm yet and then she was like what and then she was like there's properties in sperm when swallowed and digested will cause dilation and will cause to begin to dilate and will start to induce labor she's like it's an old wives tale trust me it works and then my kids my was like did you [ __ ] pay her say that actually looks let me get this straight she's just in the motor like she wants the baby to come out she was like saying you want me to blow him and swallow it and the duel was like yes that's what I'm saying so then we go back and then I'm just like you know not matching I'm a high five you throw a couple bucks [Laughter] we're sitting there on the couch and it's like an hour two went by like she's just like you know nobody's really talking I'm just like oh you dancing around it a little bit yeah Wow [ __ ] great like these jeans got small him and take these pants off this is uncomfortable so she goes into the bathroom put comes out her hair in a ponytail and she comes out goes to the bedroom gets a pillow and puts it down in front of me and I'm like what are you doing she's getting if she goes [ __ ] pull it out and I was like no like are you sure she believed that she's a crisp pull out your dick yes and then she just gets down and then you got hard and then he's not sucking it yeah and then she starts [ __ ] sucking it well no I was really hard because like when you get like so like when you're that probably like you don't care about maintenance she had a moustache and her beard back she's like I'm gonna [ __ ] she starts so she starts sucking it and it's just like she's like [ __ ] [ __ ] in my mouth he's you're coming up and then I just left one [ __ ] rip hand to God 45 minutes later her water broke shut up ancient Jewish wisdom yeah I remember we were baby was born at no.4 a.m. and my dad like my kid's mom is legit like crowning like pushing the baby out and my dad walks in my mother was already there my dad walks in with the New York Post he's gonna be having a baby my kids like what is he doing here and I'm like dad like you can't be in areas like reason why I'm like I'm like because he's like it's my granddaughter and I'm like yeah I'm just you got to go and then like as he's leaving he's like by the way Sabathia got [ __ ] rock crawl back in came out was like yes my dad's white there's hope she named her hope how about how big was she how many pounds she was you had a big kid six pounds 11 ounces at big what were you what was I I think I don't know what were you yeah you don't know you know no 7-eleven you were 700 and no I was 7-eleven that's what my mom always said 7-eleven my sister was like 9 1 Wow [ __ ] fat baby big she's big nowt oh yeah she's on that my 600-pound life you could see her every Tuesday on TLC he's a heavy one just her she was she's skinny as a [ __ ] rail it's hilarious she said she's so tiny she was a big baby and then now she's so skinny what if she lives hiked down Hado not a husband no I got a boyfriend not a husband she's young she's young a $3 straight Allah Belt are you gonna say what did you got something you a story idea remember what I was gonna say I know generally on say yeah I don t Sundowns is what we say all people with Alzheimer's when it gets dark out we're doing the podcast at dark that's the process is when it [ __ ] up your hair sundown yeah I feel very vulnerable podcasting without shoes on that's my favorite thing I want people to at my feet well because it make it comfortable shoes that's right my BAE yeah but from but you know why you know why because shoes shoes in somebody's home it means that you're not comfortable there really yeah interesting that means you're not cup that's why that's why it's a cleaner way to do it people should do that well I think around the world a lot of a lot of cultures do it because they think that you're supposed to feel like you're at my at home yeah shoes on means you you're gonna leave it anymore but like in a hotel I never take my shoes off in here you got a bunch of clutter in your life you got to get rid of it okay you can't do that that's not how the whiskey gingers life I like to clean house all the time if you're looking to sell stuff online there's no easier the way than doing it through Merck re Merck re is actually incredible don't go on eBay dude it's a scam EB is a scam it's with a bunch of corporations and people selling through businesses and it's not user friendly it's now for the solo do't it's not for peeps like you and mate don't Merc Ari is a great way to sell your stuff man whether it's junk whether it's amazing doesn't really matter one man's junk is another man's junk and or treasure it doesn't matter some people like junk did some people like to have you ever seen a junkyard you ever seen a Chuck okay do yourself a favor and go to mark re download that app it is so incredible is over a half a million reviews on the internet a four-point star rating in the App Store so a pretty good to me I mean my uber rating is probably three point six right now my lift is even lower because I just I get wild in a lift for some reason I could lift it and easy bad joke but let's get back to the real topic at hand mercury does sell everything and anything that you can think of whether you're selling or buying it's a very good app it's easy to use it's super smooth it's super cleans very user friendly I'll have to do is take a picture of something that you want to get rid of like I got rid of a video game system cuz I don't play those because I'm busy put it up on the intro web on Mercury on the app throw it out to the world let people let people know you got stuff to sell do some a favor if you want to clean house start a new year with some new freshness in your life clean out your house go download the Macari app right now start it up start new feel good about yourself varkari NPR CARF back to the episode the best this is the best this is the best I just had a vision of his wife in the other room just like having a glass of wine on the phone with one of her girlfriends the whole group was gone like so where is he it she's like he's at work it is the other room just here we're talking about [ __ ] [ __ ] [ __ ] like you go swallow a comment yeah work but I'm gonna use that I'm using now do it do it do it tonight and this is a good episode I'll tell you what this isn't Nate bargatze energy [Laughter] drink your milkshake yeah you guys are raised in the [ __ ] you right you do latter 14 always raise the energy of the spot I know when you guys we're gonna come into town I was so excited you guys you guys came into LA you guys were in town for how long fellas a couple days we doing a little firefighter convention oh really yeah we saw we saw vodka place is crawling with Mexico I'm Bobby Lee's got a special on Netflix where he's pregnant yeah oh no no no guys that's Ed's Ali Wong oh yeah yeah it's Ali Wong that's not probably no Bobby Bobby Lee's a guy that's Ali's a woman yes No yeah yeah I saw him over at The Comedy Store yeah yeah we didn't know Spragg who's fat we had no idea are you guys big comedy fans yeah you know we love you like that and I like some of Michael Richards old bar those are good those are good those are good people to like yeah cool have you ever seen stuff like a Hannah Gatsby Nanette you watch that special real powerful real popular special you guys would love it's right up your alley what who does she vote for me she's very very left very liberal so is that something you'd aligned with maybe politically I'm just gonna I'm gonna skip that over look what channels Fox News that's right pay okay it's all my daughters can't get to sleep Colleen I got a daughter my wife's calling seen my daughter's calling Junior well my daughter can't you see if I put on some of that [ __ ] Hannah gas behind that [ __ ] go to sleep ease jets paka Causton oh wow one two three that's it so what dave chappelle be somebody or is that not your he's a good kid you guys do not have you ever seen him or you only heard his stuff you've seen him what was that what sketch the name of the family what was it no no no family oh yeah that was a good sketch I like dude okay yeah I think you guys know a lot of people that do have secrets like that who else has religious secrets that might be Muslim that we don't know about Barack Obama oh we know about that that was obvious yeah I know that one oh you know brock obama's the president so i respect that but you're right think that guy was born in this country i mean your [ __ ] you're out of your head everybody knows he wasn't more in this country was born in hawaii everybody knows that but [ __ ] everybody knows that [ __ ] that's right yeah he's a Hawaiian Muslim yeah why a Muslim but Trump's gonna win another [ __ ] Hillary Clinton you know [ __ ] you gotta watch what you say cuz that woman she'll kill you right yeah I will tell you what on the left side I don't want somebody debates you know with you know the kid who yang Yang is good oh you like to go you like em that's good yeah he was made in China so that means he's American oh you guys like those guys that's your is that your frontrunner yeah oh right yeah well no if he doesn't win who else dropped you and your thing you know when I'm Donald Trump do I make sense we do mm-hmm so it's like Donald Trump is hung low charters and Weber [ __ ] Democrats Dorian's like the generals it the show is [ __ ] the column I'll be honest with you right now I'm soaring on your podcast and all people see you got visual [ __ ] video and video it's a [ __ ] beautiful home thank you my coat except today I do move a little slower if I saw and if I seen on with her pin and your house I will have a few more items per but I see Trump 2020 I'm running up that's those [ __ ] you like that like it's my own family it's okay I appreciate that yeah but we did take it off we will pull you out of a fire but it's a little quicker if you if you voted her you'll get more you'll get the premium hose yeah yeah we're gonna let this whole [ __ ] City birthday and it's like and it's like look I'm out here in Los Angeles the first time I've ever even come you know the furthest west ever been was New Jersey yeah so now I'm adding in Los Angeles and I see what's going on with the weather I'm fully convinced now that 100% the Chinese did make up global yeah we go I feel like we know that and we know that but I don't know if you guys knew that we didn't know that you guys were aware so you would you think the Chinese made it to kill us all do they have another place to go when they're off this planet you think I know but if global warming takes over the country it kills the whole I mean it kills the whole earth kills the earth yeah where do they go Oh Chinese gonna last in a Western American New York City [ __ ] world right yeah yeah right would you guys never go to a Chinese planet [ __ ] no no never Chinese [ __ ] it sound but psych you know I'm not trying to [ __ ] again you know they just weird I mean you got a rash on your arm that's in the Chinese because we are in Southern California we're close to Mexico is the wall does it come up here do you could you can you get to go down to view and take pictures it selfies with it we can go every Sunday the old bag and I go down there to put another brick in we put one break every Sunday yeah I treated my breast duty at the Wailing Wall like I would go down the end I take a wish it's private right in that put it right yeah I put it right over the wish B if you put it in the wall can we keep this thing going keep it up hope it's mighty 4000 years would you guys built helped build the wall [ __ ] on it I'll tell you what yeah yeah it's a [ __ ] honor and I'd like to go down that yeah that [ __ ] I'd [ __ ] like to [ __ ] cramp down you know kid like our sphere and make him a brick and put him right in the wall yes all right right right our sphere Jewish guy good kid he's a funny [ __ ] guy hey funny guy so you guys do like Jewish people we do like Jewish I support Israel you do that makes sense it's also if Trump supported Palestine you would be right it was you believe that that happened I know that I know you do right but deep down I know he knows what happened I know what happened long as character priest answered and really true and true answer me is Han true if it [ __ ] Jesus okay a lot of people at this trying to say Jesus not a [ __ ] talent kid from New York City okay a lot of people try to debate that they say it's not in fact you something to extinct right okay tell me this why do Yankees have so many champion why why they have right why do you accept so much Jeff Jeff and why is there the whole [ __ ] Atlantic Ocean between us and the [ __ ] sands with these that live in the Middle East you can see it's because Jesus Italian kid that loves the Yankees and he put the Atlantic Ocean in between us in the [ __ ] balls just what it is this makes perfect sense yeah I mean a lot of people don't think about it that way but you think about it that's what happened yes you can't see anything you are a question I [ __ ] know the answer because I watch my [ __ ] news every night shoutout Tucker Carlson [ __ ] your guy he's puck off my god I love those [ __ ] guys yeah judge Anika should get [ __ ] oh yeah she's she'll get ripped up got ripped up yeah now you guys married men both of you I got a wife Colleen she know my daughter's calling Julia right what about you girls I just called the girl oh you call him the girls he's got a Gwen when I'm an Irish kid my short hairy patty I'm already without a 40 but you know what we grew up in Yorkshire you got a little time once because his wife's Italian your wife's account you can have a come on and you get to my culture I'm right huh culture got it she's Italian so I'm happy to come on even her father understands then I have a gumar he respects you respect how the [ __ ] is her father supposed to be convicted he's not gay if he doesn't have exactly that makes sense my wife [ __ ] gay guy exact sense makes sense good to be on this [ __ ] radio show when you guys were uh when this when you guys had canceled you know this will be the clip but it's just a character PCs are just characters that's my friend his name's Patti Mulroney's never been to the city of Manhattan from New York City my name's John Kerry we're out of borough firefighters we brought our passport to Brooklyn Bridge so it's not around it's not on foot we only got we only got basic cable just saw Fox News I don't know what HP always yeah we're just kidding around yeah where do those kids come from those were guys that we grew up Terry Patrick Murray I don't know oh I remember it's so fun to start to do every podcast we would start out and count down the how many dates been since 9/11 yeah I know you guys been doing it but where did what was the birth but remember I actually remember we were doing it we were doing a patreon in your house with the phone and I just said a lot of 14 we just said because we always say well [ __ ] right especially he says Walt stuff yeah he says a lot of 14 and I did the voices we just started doing it but just stuck and I just yeah we came up with the names Patti I'm already short there cuz they're all Irish yeah but you love characters you don't you're not a bit this is the first time I've seen you really get into care when you do this and it's like it's different it's but it's but it's great because you never were a character that's for comedy because they can act like and acting he would just be that you can't if you're into Shakespeare he always has that like [ __ ] sewer Queens accent yeah yeah hoping or not question you can't get away you couldn't get away with much no I character wise like that that's really funny cuz I can't do it it's like because my family is so New York I mean my I mean real New York City your choices are very New York oh yeah you know kids got some he was established on his own 1984 then I just let him know I'm gonna have a baby's mama and then I got rosary beads on my arm and I get across on my back I'm fight for the Crusades for the good guys no way everything leaves on this thing yeah it's joke and those were characters everybody knows what everyone else said I will say this almost every single person that's a fan of the show knows that so much of this [ __ ] is let's go on extreme and [ __ ] around it's hard it'd be hard to think that it's not because there are shows I got to tell you like sometimes I like you do Rogen sometimes I knew Joe show and the fans take everything so literal sometimes because he's so very serious you know like he's D delving out real information meanwhile I'm running a [ __ ] bit and even he's just like don't do the bed anymore cut the [ __ ] you can feel it coming out of him he's like stop doing the [ __ ] yo man yeah I mean he still has fun but it's just it's a different vibe what was your first character that you ever did it was like this white kid and this is way back 2001 five earlier than that when I did it live was like mm - Wow so right after 9/11 I was just yeah SS so he's a white kid who grew up in an all-black neighborhood and it was based on I used to have a pool route when I was in in college me and my buddy would go clean pools we were pool operators we'd go to like little neighborhoods in Maryland which is EC and Virginia and we went this one area it was all black like area this was the funny I mean it was all black pulling like one of those communities mm-hmm so we're working with the poor and these kids come over and it's always young black kids in like yo man we smoked y'all you know well smoke y'all on basketball man will smoke y'all and then this white kid come over he's like yeah man we [ __ ] smoke y'all and I was like who's this [ __ ] kid goes my name is white sharp and I said why he said why Shawn and he was saying it vas I'm saying white Shawn yeah sounded like a black [ __ ] you say wha Shawn why show the black kids love them and so based on him just just the name was so funny why Shawn why Shawn they say real fast yes nice why Shawn yeah but the the biggest character because I I'm like dead inside right now here's Ken Lay I don't know what a German its German I'm ya know you can't stop it but he does his character more ISA supporter Rican transgender Puerto Rican from the Lower East Side and Manhattan and it's just one of the things I can't handle how funny it is i watch it all the time and i just laugh because it's my family it's my life where she were she from she from the she from actually the Lower East Side in New York City oh really she's trying to jab but that means I'm 30 sexy Oh I said that's I'm trying I'm trying to better my life I'm trying to better myself when did you go to when did you switch when did you join us later but I was a high school basketball player I was like OCD oh wow yeah I was like yeah playing five stars and knock that [ __ ] down a river did like he did but he had to play Division three that's nice like he was cute like you puree York you want to you because you got a house here right what's the wife that's a little competition right said I like that yeah you do yeah we're sure to do where's your family now my family's turn the lowest times to live with my mother my grandmother and my sister and my grandma's living there's a full house and then I'm trying to get out of here oh you go to watch Chester what does grass and I could get a little minivan and some greenery and I could fall driving the fuel-efficient minivan and go to Whole Foods what do you do for a living that's the I'm a sex worker oh I'm right now I used to be on back pages that's why I used to be oh they took down back pages now I'm a little bit into independent come on website were you what you were a bit of a celebrity to YouTube oh really I've been doing those YouTube videos for a little while people seemed that I was looking for someone to put me to watch Chester and so Nagamani shockingly to dig up into a little I just do public appearances or oh you do so if someone was gonna hold you what's your website go to more recent a sitcom that's it Maury said that's a Teresa das sitcom yeah go today oh that's it all go how do you want to spell it just go to that [ __ ] and I'm day I got a conglomerate and all that shake I don't know if this is rude but like what are the pricing levels for the phone sex work like like I'm flexible but seriously like it's the you need to do about 250 roses if you want to get a [ __ ] okay and then we're going up it wants to spend the night with me then we're talking about the thousands that's a houseful pictures I'm a little bit of a celebrity that's it in New York City I mean everybody knows much it they're really I mean New York City a little bit of Los Angeles San Francisco you could put me to any place there they know much say wow you sure you're famous I'm famous in those places how did you get famous from doing these videos on YouTube and [ __ ] the same with their logo Pablo up that's me oh sure you like the logan paul i was the logan paul i try to get that they can go to us just us yeah that makes perfect sense get a house like this you got that with a little dog it does say you be drinking that nice one like you probably got some nice wine in there right honey i do you do you got that's what church there's some cupcake wine that's what I like oh you call it okay Jim Redick is some doctor perfect like he's hot to me because he played he got the Holy Trinity or what I like big ball and money that's my Holy Trinity right there that's the Holy Trinity right because I used to play basketball I cow but I love basketball yeah I love are you in a relationship right now that's what you get right you want to stay sane so you don't know what just was like that's like making it to candy land that's okay that's like candy land that's like heaven to you right I like D I want to see a deal I want to maybe hit a deal they have a deer out there ideas everywhere walking around like dogs the [ __ ] in backyards and [ __ ] like that that's Wow okay I'm sure try to be in the projects in Alphabet City anymore do you think I'll put me to out there do you think that like doing sex work is gonna get you out there that it's a little bit you know yeah a little bit that's the starting line that right then then I'm starting my business I got like also I'm putting myself to a lot of making condos I'm also making clothes you make candles and clothes I got a perfume is called rigorous and I'd be selling that sir so I got I'm putting up the website making the video to our promoter and on this you know this internet you could be doing a lot of [ __ ] like you did this radio show right hand Internet so I'll be sending my products in the internet so damn selling chocolate those to you are the three I'm selling chocolate oh you really are I am that say you're leveling your leveled up I go to the morning I take I still a bunch of them sits in the pockets from those chinos they be selling them and then I'd be stealing them [ __ ] and then I got different colors sometimes I mix them up one red one pic like punky brewster I don't care all right you know I signed them [ __ ] that's Tracy like that she liked it she did like it fans of her can I ask you a rude question it might be it might be so we step on my boundary okay but when you went through surgery did you go all the way or do you still have yes you still have your dick of all right just leave the day that's a sexist that's my gender right I was you know Jesus makes mistakes he met I was born a boy but then I deep down I'm really a girl that's it so I'm sure sex show will you will you sleep with men and women I'm no I don't [ __ ] with that column are you crazy I don't know I didn't know what you like halo that's not me - I like that dick I need to see some dick that's a baseball bat sausages or that you from Chicago that's what I like sausages show me that Polish sausage do you care about said you care about race who's your favorite race - yeah I kept my money that's right green that's it the American dream green and the part of a deep down is you when you start doing characters like this is a character known as Papa's a character what you just heard is real if you notice he's going cuz he normally has a wig on and he's flicking the wig yeah you to the wig I could see you doing with the hair yeah but it's just what makes me laugh harder cuz when he says like little diddies always say he does it say you know I'm going to Westchester you say he puts me to it said that that's all it is that [ __ ] is [ __ ] is so wonderful man but you've carved it out so much good so specific did you grow up with someone that you knew that you based it on part of you it's like I dated so many Puerto Rican girls like one of the first girls I loved was in love with was Puerto Rico historic city in New York and it's like yeah they just were to reconstruct like New York would you say Italian Jewish black Puerto Rican is like that's New York yeah and Chicago is black white Puerto Rican right yeah and that's it yeah yeah I mean I mean they're there there is other things but that's really important you got it's a big but not a lot of Polish action there's a lot of Polish too but I put them with whites [ __ ] yeah not only that dude the Puerto Rican Day Parade in Chicago is [ __ ] insane it's insane and I mean like the city shuts down it's absurd how about big and chaotic it is what Oh Ricans and [ __ ] I mean I think there's more polish than anything else there's more poll there's more polish people in Chicago than in Warsaw Poland but yeah that's insane and it took it over years ago yeah I mean the Polish population there's weird Porto Ricans with our finest [ __ ] they're all so rowdy they love to fight they love to cause trouble [ __ ] they love to [ __ ] yeah man and now you're half Puerto Rican now by just by osmosis you're half Puerto Rican why well he grew up his aunt like his aunt we say he grew up in a house where his mom and his aunt lived on the first floor second floor oh so you are Puerto Rican his mom I'm his me and my mother lived on the second floor and my aunt and her Puerto Rican family lived on the first floor Rican husband so his uncle was Puerto Rican uncle Victor I would say yes because it was like you know like upstairs was like very white and downstairs was it was like more Caribbean and the staircase in the middle was the neutral stairs right that was a neutral water right you lets it have meetings and stuff when yes and my mother stays just a little man that you know my aunt pro to Porto Rican mm she should still still can't get over it no kidding but she definitely blames her for you know what would you say you're kidding with it but it's real in there part of his family support my culture yeah I love Puerto Ricans I love everything about our week were you always attracted to Puerto Rican girls yeah well I always was because I was I think the reason why it's right I always was attracted my first crush I had five years of five when I was in kindergarten beautiful Puerto Rican girl or and but but my cousin who was half Puerto Rican all her friends were Puerto Rican and she lived downstairs and we were like 15 16 years old I was like their white little fetish though yeah like I it's like all my first sexual experiences were with these Puerto Rican girls so your first was with water ring girl my first was are the half black half white girl but the first like first time I had sexual intercourse but the first time I got a blowy besides when I you know I got molested was girl yeah no no Puerto Rico but I fell in love with the first girl I loved was his Brown the first girl ever like I had a big crush I was brown deer or like no brow shoot Mexican yeah but I mean just like non-white the fur I remember the first time I like so vivid it was so weird I was with my dad and I was at like a it's done don't do that again yeah he said he said yet and yet no he were you know what we were a note we were like an OTB or something like that like my grandfather was a worked at the dog track my grandfather worked at in a my grandfather retired and they got a job working at the horse track and then at the dog track nice yeah no to generally I couldn't get away from gambling to still Gamble's you lost the house like six times yeah good friends got good friends named Joe the Hat you know when you were a kid I didn't know what my grandfather's family was like our grandfathers friends were like in a mob yeah and I was like Oh Joe the hats not that's his that's how that's the name he is to me yeah that's why I just thought that was economical yeah sure that murderer yeah so he but but yeah I was a TV or something like that with my dad and I'll never forget there was a girl I was probably 12 maybe 11 or something there was this there was this mexican chick who wanted my 1415 and it was like time stopped that she was the the the the most beautiful thing I've ever seen in my entire and at that moment I realize that's all men have this experience and you go I don't know what it is but I like it whatever that is right I don't know what it is yeah I need it I want it and you're going that's it because before that when you're young boy you're like girls that [ __ ] they're gross they're weird they're whatever but there's a moment as a young boy when you go what is that I need I want it I don't know what it is I don't know what to do with it I had it but I have to have it as we realize she has right it's so weird it's like the moment kicked in of like I don't know what it is but I like that thing a hundred percent sure you're straight huh unfortunately yeah yeah unfortunate even still even still yeah even still if he's a calf judge now yeah he knows people people in Bible Belt country yeah you live down in Mississippi you're not telling anybody that you're sucking dick no [ __ ] way but it is true for the most part when I still go to small towns and I meet kids that are like you know you can just tell you know that are just like why are you here getting you got to get out of here go to a place where no one's gonna talk [ __ ] about you're doing it you know what I mean like I think that's the fear is like they can't leave town because that's where they're from but man you wish everyone that wanted to be what they wanted to be you're like I wish they gave you a free ride to a big city right so you could just do it and no one would say [ __ ] yeah that's the big well that's the scare is they can't leave all their friends and family are there they can [ __ ] go anywhere we should do a program sponsor effect we should get to the city sponsor the sponsor it doesn't matter yeah so it's like you know and this is the sponsor program right there in a small town you just coming here it's a sponsor when you ask when you you know so far you know you know what's great about that not one of my fans who is gay will be mad at you you're not only closeted anybody who saw the first episode that we did together get a little drunk you got real gay on me yeah you were going that would that tush now that so now you got to be a little bit more thin for that for me I can't I couldn't do that but by the way if my guy what would your guy be if you were gay what kind of guy would you like what was the famous guy that you that you'd get with if you were gay I know you know relax any guy in Hollywood if you were gay who's the guy that you would go with Ethan Hawke what a pick by the way cuz he's such a good at what he what he is right he's confident but he's not like a typical hot guy he's not like stereotypical phony right that's good you were gonna go with someone to typical hot guy you're like Bradley Cooper so who is he he knows the first one it's obvious choice Tom Hardy do you like my old bag you like her she loves that [ __ ] she wants to [ __ ] him so bad squeak yeah he's like five for intellectual guy I'd like to I'd like a mantra shot that's so good 20 20 that's a moderate shot is really good that threw me for a loop I didn't think they were gonna say that Hollywood like sports handsome handsome man looks like he smells great and he's on the runway now is the old she's gotta be 60 60 cs6 60 pop cracked open Margaret a model child get cracked oh he'll get smashed into pieces huh so no I don't like guys like that I don't I don't like that no no cuz I he does he looks like a guy that didn't do that didn't work that hard but he it happened for him you know like I like I like I like secret I like secret success guys guys who were like that like we all kind of I like guys that everybody loves but I bet you they're freaks you know like what's the what's his uh Jason Bateman JJ bait quiet talented quiet doesn't bug anybody doesn't bother people yeah he's a switch-hitter in our business yeah I like him like he's a cute guy no would [ __ ] the [ __ ] out of me by him yeah for sure just cuz he's a cute boy you got to take it cuz he's not I'm bigger than him for sure but he's not it's just I know he's got a little rabbit energy he's got good little tiny low to the ground it is a respect mod Rashad might've been the Pick of the [ __ ] day level yeah loved to sponsor uh you know in Virgil you know oh yeah yeah yeah he's like walking like a straight guy in his I'm here yeah we could do that program guys if you want to donate to the program please donate to it sponsor a gay would have been fine get a gay to the city that's data gate of the city is a great yes I'll be I'll be your gateway to the city no but you're gay well you're gay I'll be your gateway to the city yeah coming you save me for a month made it to the new city yeah you know we show you that in these big cities homosexuality is very it's very appreciated supported it support of it promoted endorse grateful problem [ __ ] yeah state might be for a month you know I tie you up a little bit to the radio do what I need to do to you sexually and then we and then you come out there yeah yeah okay so how do we get on the program that we need to email you what's your email well you know what we're gonna put your good still somebody got tied to a [ __ ] rape know the gay way yeah no sponsor a gay sponsor a gay today what sponsor gay and yeah they can email me at a Chris dot - Stefano five one nine at gmail.com okay for all your um you know Chrissy gateways I just put in a subject gateway and I'll tell you know it's great I'm gonna link your email in the description below so people can actually email it it's right here are you guys are you guys torn a little bit what's going on with dates you want to said tell people where you gonna be you guys gonna be watch that [ __ ] thank you please it's called blowing the light on YouTube go check it out in February you catch me at Gotham comedy club February 21st and 22nd and then uncle Vinny's February 27th 28th he stretches nuts and sniffin his nuts I'm gonna I know and we'll link your website in the description all that stuff you got to see this [ __ ] he's funnier than Chris Crisco had true I 100% my side Chris D comedy calm we got January 25th celebrity theatre Atlantic City February 8th the Kennedy Center Washington DC and February 29th and 30th hilarious and Cleveland Cleveland baby also April 18th Victoria Theatre Newark New Jersey so come out a lot of shows please come I like I like I like madmen and listen to history hyenas listen the hyenas yeah that's a great podcast I did their podcast when I was in the Joc and I had a great [ __ ] time you guys were awesome it's time for some of the people that were there some of the crew that was there yeah we're you we did a thing we did a poll who is art their fate are fans favorite guests come on for 2019 and my boys well thank you guys I appreciate it we'll link for you guys to go check out all their [ __ ] well I'm gonna walk away from the camera right now and you you both have to leave when I get off you have to end the episode with either a word or a phrase directly in the camera so go ahead and do it just a word or four 20/20 in here [Music]

Channel: Andrew Santino

Views: 165,759

Rating: 4.8315673 out of 5

Keywords: comedy, comedy central, podcast, whiskey ginger, whiskey ginger podcast, andrew santino, funny, the fighter and the kid, joe rogan, joe rogan experience, tfatk, bill burr, bobby lee, chris delia, your mom’s house podcast, tom segura, stand up comedy, bert kreischer, the red rocket, all things comedy, history hyenas, yannis pappas, chris distefano

Id: KHu6ExFKnA4

Length: 70min 13sec (4213 seconds)

Published: Fri Jan 24 2020

Reddit Comments

[u/cdkinney21]

LADDER 14

[u/Fraunksosa]

Their episode of history hyenas with Santino is hilarious too

[u/MentalHopscotch]

That wasn’t long enough and he needs to bring Maurica back!

[u/Lallana_Del_Rey4]

Make no mistake, these are some cute kids here

[u/nbury33]

Yaaaaaasssss

[u/Basketball-Dog]

These guys are unbelievably funny. I can't wait to give this one a listen!