That was really smart" moments! r/AskReddit | Reddit Jar

parents of Reddit what is something your child has done that made you think I don't approve of that the dam that was really clever I had one of these but for myself was in middle school was supposed to demonstrate a chemical reaction that called heat most kids do the baking soda and vinegar volcanoes I made thermite instead in high school was supposed to do something or another with mild acid so I made a seat ik acid my two year old stepdaughter has figured out how to get what she wants if I don't give in she will go to her dad wgo has discovered after I sat down with him it's causing a lot of issues with our Te'o children as the twins are learning off of their sister while he started tough love this month only to have it blown out as my partner's sister will give her what she once straight away and she blatantly ignores what me or my partner say it grinds my gears shockingly to the point rat I will now take the twins out of a situation involving learning to do that I was babysitting my niece one time and she was being potty-trained at a time she was at the pretty much fully potty-trained but wares of pull-ups of bed and nap time just in case stage I put her down for nap and she knew she wasn't supposed to go in her pull-up she peed herself to get out of naptime the young part was upset about something so he accessed my computer and changed the router port from 2 to 4 took me a week to figure out why I had no internet and I locked my computer with a password I'm not a parent but I did this when I was about nine in the fourth grade my school wanted to help us prepare for middle school so they decided to start sending us to different teachers for math what they do is we would do a pretest for every unit the pretest would not count as a grade and however well you knew the material you were sent to a specific teacher with other kids who were at the same level as you what I would do was purposefully fail those tests so I would be stuck in a remedial math class therefore I would be getting really high math grades because I already knew the material they were teaching five years ago my four old brother Riley my dad my mom I'm Ozzie and me went to the shopping center we went to Target and while my mum was looking for some things dad took me and my brother to look at toys after that we went to the food court in just as we got a table Riley took his backpack off and poured out about a dozen Lego mini fitted line bags and me and my dad looked at each other and lost our heads off dad told mum and then we walked back to the targets and dropped the toys off still today we always get a laugh out of that one not my kid but he is my nephew he wanted to show me some cool stuff he had learned on the computer decorated neighbor's Wi-Fi then remotely exceeded her computer and [ __ ] around with it this kid is 13 he toughed himself this by lurking shady forums since this is super illegal and super shady I told his parents they and I were a mixed between livid scared and impressed hey eff kids are terrifying my son has a friend whose younger brother in an evil genius he ran an illegal candy selling racking in middle school and may still do for all I know , he has brought a lot of neglect sets and has stored them away for years later when they are hard to find kids parents are utterly clueless when my older daughter was a preschooler she wanted to take a flashlight off a shelf to play with it she was told not to so she got her stuffed animal and used the stuffed animals arms to take it of course I had to yell at the stuffed animal and quit her the toy in timeout my daughter thought she had gotten away with it my four years old son kept you asking as if he could have a sucker we said only after dinner he despairs upstairs to play and we are making dinner bedtime comes and he drops his Lego between the bed and the wall move bed to retrieve Lego and not only do I find a wrapper for the sucker but also three other candy wrappers he stuck there I quickly realized that I used to do something similar as a younger kid last summer my eldest son then 12 was collecting and selling golf balls at the golf course his cousins and younger brother helped collect a few Li balls but he collected must and did 100 percent of the selling his grandpa insisted that the profits be spilt evenly between all four kids even though my son protested explaining how he did most the work he later told me he kept an X for $30 without telling his grandpa because he was adamant he deserved more money than the other kids I didn't approve of him being sneaky but I did agree with his stance well I'm an older sister so not a parent my younger brother used to be stalked by her neighbours Huskers so he couldn't get out to play in the big field behind our house we owned a bunch of sheep who managed to love the kid as if he himself was a little lamb one day he got the magnificent idea to get escorted by the Sheep when the Huskies saw him and went nuts trying to chase him around he lured them towards the sheep pen opened the door and both of them got tackled the [ __ ] off out of sight by an angry Ram one of them even got a broken leg I don't need to say our parents were horrified that the kid released an angry battering ram of sheep testosterone upon our neighbor's overexcited dogs Madonn that was clever of him my boyfriend sent me a text the other day that said I think our daughter is a klepto he tells me that last week he took her to the auto parts store to get some stuff he needed and our two and one-stroke two year old daughter developed a fascination for some kind of tool with a long and Enoch and a mirror at the end she kept trying to hide it from him and he kept putting it back finally she asks him if she can carry her diaper bag so he gives it to her fast forward a week later and he finds the thing in her bag he said he didn't know if he should be proud or angry back story years ago before we had her and got our lives straight we were quite a shot lifting team comma we both of course had a talk with her about having to pay for things before you could take them home from the store and we will both be watching her a lot more closely from now on though to be honest it wouldn't have happened if she was with me she's got her dad wrapped around her little finger close bracket not a parent but about four years back my then seven-year-old cousin somehow managed to get into into my aunt's Facebook Page despite her being logged out and him not knowing her password and proceeded to post on her wall in memory of my son Tom who died a day r.i.p my aunt only found out after getting a message from one of her friends giving her condolences naturally she went absolutely mad over this and was shouting at my cousin while trying to delete the post and clarify to her FB friends that her son was not dead me my brother and my parents meanwhile found what he had done absolutely hilarious and were trying not to laugh my cousin now eleven is permanently banned from my arms phone and is not allowed any kind of social media until he turns eighteen when my oldest son was about three now six five he we had him in a stroller as we were out for a long walk we stopped at a convenience store to get some drinks middle of an Arizona summer's day so topped out he asks for cookies and chips and we tell him no well after a few requests he stops and sits there pouting arms crossed and all we go to pay he's sitting there quiet we pay and continue on our walk about two three minutes go by and we allow did he fall asleep look over the canopy of the stroller as he is eating a cookie he had stole a package of cookies opened them and was eating them without us even hearing him he was smart quiet and very clever and how he did it about the age of two same son wanted to look through my mom's RV window from outside he set a brick down and stood on it to try to see and he proceeded to make a pyramid of bricks to try seeing in at this point my stepdad didn't want him to get hurt so he just picked him up and let him see in my youngest girl two-five really does not like our baby gate he has taken running jumps into it to knock it from its grips on the wall figured out it hurt and put a pillow between her and the gate while doing it she has also found out she could slowly unscrew a part of the gate and shift the extension on it so it still looks right but it was like a tall dog door yeah we fixed that as soon as we figured out how she was escaping her room now we have it at the edge of the hall and she's trying to use her potty stool to climb over it I don't think we will be able to use the gate for much longer law when she was 1 we had to set up a video camera to figure out how she was getting out of her crib there was no fix for the crib problem so she got a normal bed she started hiding under her bed to freak us out because we couldn't find her we solved that with a loft bed no more place to hide my kids are too smart for their own good not a parent but I was the clever kid when I was 16 I was dating a girl and her mother hated me she caught us fooling around in her basement and typed out a letter to my parents saying I wasn't allowed around her until I found Jesus I'm Jewish so instead of listening I doubled down I started hanging out with my girlfriend's little sister and her younger brother all the time strengthening our relationship every time her mom had something bad to say about me my girlfriend and all her siblings lost their [ __ ] and would attack her a few months later she texted me saying if I can't beat you I have to join you and invited me to an evening Mass which I went to the whole mass was in Latin she cried it was bizarre not my kid but I used to babysit a kid who did not like to eat he did like cookers though one time he was refusing to eat his lunch that he begged me for a cookie I kept telling him no he had to finish his lunch first at some point I said something along the lines of pizza needs to be all gone before you can get a cookie he sat there for a moment thinking and then he stood up grabbed his plate and dumped the whole thing in the garbage he turned to me and just shrugged all gone double-quote I didn't even know how to respond I may or may not have given him the cookie I can't remember but I learned I had to be more careful with how I phrased things kids are too smart not a parent but this was pretty genius when I was in fourth grade we had to spend the last hour of school in another teacher's class to learn about science my homie hated science and that teacher uncontrollable gasp not kidding he reminded me every day that he was gonna ditch and he was always real whiny about it so I told him to just go when the time comes to switch classrooms he is somehow nowhere to be found in the whole school of about 500 in the student body is freaking out cuz they lost a ten-year-old turns out he escaped by crawling through the main office main office had a door that went directly out the school where all the faculty happened to be according to him climbing a fence was too hard and obvious he noticed both doors in the main office were always open and the administrators couldn't see right over the desk so he decided to whip out his balls figuratively and Armie crawled the entire office closest I've ever seen to real-life Prison Break and all to avoid one hour of science and a gassy teacher we live in a duplex with a driveway on each side that are connected in the back our three year old was playing in his car on our side and we told him not to go past a certain point because we didn't want him going in the front yard well he couldn't see him so instead he goes back to the carport where the driveways connect goes down the neighbor's driveway and into the front that way he never actually crossed the invisible line we created so I couldn't get mad but a new line was created soon after my great-grandmother was a non non sense woman who was not known for sparing the rod if you get my drift although she was also the most loving woman I have ever known I as a toddler went out into the garden and pulled up a set of those plastic little chickens following the big plastic chicken I believe they are for scaring birds she came outside and yelled me that if I pulled up those chickens she was going to bust my butt I replied if you bust my butt I am going to pull up your chickens I guess she had never had that reaction and would recall it at every family gathering to my chagrin damn I miss that little old lady when my son was about three or four he was going through a phase where he refused to sleep in his bedroom alone it was a nightmare I could not get this kid to fall asleep in his bedroom it was a battle every single night one afternoon on a weekend he was messing around in his room and kept messing with the doorknob I told him to stop he'd keep keep messing with it I finally snapped at him if you don't stop messing with that doorknob you're going to lock the door and mommy's going to have to call maintenance and that won't be any fun about five minutes later he comes running down the hallway and in that cute little baby voice hello mommy I accidentally locked my bedroom door then he put his hands up in the air in the oh well motion and said I guess I can't sleep in my bedroom tonight little [ __ ] law not a parent but when I was 12 my parents thought I spent too much time on my computer so they put Norton Safety kinder or whatever to limit my computer usage to two hours every day they didn't change the administrator rights on my account and after a week I found out that if I made a separate account on the computer the time limit didn't sought work and I could play as much as I wanted just played two hours till it ran out waited for them to go to sleep snuck back into the basement logged into the other account and played games all nights until they were gonna wake up and then got off I thought that was pretty brilliant of my twelve-year-old self while I was out at a rehearsal for some weird performance art [ __ ] my kids then 14 and 11 collected all the money and spare change off my dresser and in my bedroom and then the entire house and took the bus downtown and somehow managed to buy tickets to the Roger what is that side of the moon's concert they called me at set break and will like so yeah we stole all your money in Wes or at the Roger Waters concert just thought we should let you know in case you got home and freaked out cause we we're in salt mare cutter go second side is starting now please space I was like well [ __ ] me why didn't salt I do that not a parent but evidently this is something my ex-husband did as verified by his mom ex-husband was a precocious kid and is now probably the smartest adult I know he was in the principal's office one day I forgot how he ended up there and the Secretary was setting the bail scheduled for the next day's half-day ex-husband asked her what she was doing and she told him he paid attention to how she did it he thought it would be a good idea if they had a half day every day so when the bail system was left unattended he apparently set the schedule to shave a few minutes off each period making each day a little shorter than the one before it took the school a little while I don't recall how long to figure out what was happening and to correct it from what I understand they never did figure out it was him this happened 30 years or so ago before security cameras ruined everything he's a software engineer now so he's clearly fulfilled his destiny my middle child is lazy ninja he stays in the basement and plays ps4 and stays out of the way meanwhile my two girls are constantly around leaving their crap everywhere asking for [ __ ] and complaining when I ask them to help around the house my son never complains but the best part is he never leaves crap around it is in his room or in the basement and he keep both fairly neat he has become an expert at out of sight out of mind in the third grade my son had not moved to advanced classes yet and was just breezing through classes and work he wasn't shy either and would keep yelling out the answers in class before the teacher could call on other students the teacher decided to try to quell this by giving them three sticks if he shouted out an answer when she didn't call on him he had to surrender a stick if he did it with no sticks left he had to skip recess the very first day she enacts this clever plan she goes on teaching and asks a question and my son immediately pipes in with the answer proudly hands her a stick and says I get two more right double-quote my cousin was a bit of a wild child his mother who was a widow was a bit of an iron lady it was the immovable object in the resistible force kind of conflict this was back in the day before cellphones when you had multiple phones in the house but only one line he would be out and around the time of his curfew he would call home when his mother would answer he would say I got it mum like he was home and just picked the phone before she did she would then hang up and go to sleep and he would stay out all night pretty effing clever and ballsy he died a couple years ago and we were swapping stories at his funeral that one came up and his mother was floored she had no idea she is not a kind of lady who is easily duped it made her laugh which was good when I was potty training my youngest wild child she would often be home and be naked from the waist down a very common potty training practice she was obsessed with a little part temp my mom gave her and played in her dragon cave frequently one day after preschool she stripped down and was preparing to clay I got on her level and said child don't you pee on my floor understand if you need to go girl in the potty double quote child okay ten seconds later she comes running back to me child momma I peed into our tent double quote me what Oh Oh child why did you pee in the tent double-quote child why not my tent double quote this actually just happened last night my six-year-old daughter have YouTube taken off a tablet after I caught her watching a live at home birth she is allowed one hour a night on her tablet she came into my bedroom around three am her mom how do you spell Taylor Swift me why are you out of bed and what are you doing huh I couldn't sleep so I pushed the kitchen chair up to the fridge and grabbed my tablet I downloaded YouTube back on again and I wanted to want a music video I wanted to be angry but this took a lot of follow-through a3 am not a parent I did this myself I was about 11 years old and really wanted to watch a movie problem movie has her in 14 sign on the bottom corner of the screen my parents didn't let me watch movies not suited for my age so I took some black electrical tape and taped it over then my dad came to watch the movie with me and it took about half an hour for him to notice tape I think the commercial came on since we were in a dark room and the movie was dark he was amused but still didn't let me watch the movie greater than sign last night actually my kid cursed someone out in an online game which results in an instant removal of Internet privileges about two hours later his older brother comes down and goes hey zerbies middle kid is playing online isn't he supposed to be banned schmuck because he got his younger brother in trouble check the router sure enough the ps4 is busy talking to Call of Duty's servers but it's still showing blocked WTF kid had figured out that he could just connect to the new Wi-Fi extender I installed that same day with the same Wi-Fi password smart kid naughty kid but smart change the Wi-Fi extender password to solve that problem for Christmas one year my then 18 month old nephew got a set of trucks his six month old cousin got her hands on one and was playing contentedly nephew noticed stood over her for moments and very deliberately dropped a different toy a few inches from knees who dropped the truck to pick up the new toy nephew snatched up the truck and scurried away niece realized she'd just lost her toy and gave him a sad look Neffe hesitated slowly walked back towards her holding out the truck and grabbed the new toy out of her hands and ran off with both toys he's not great at sharing but the boy does strategize quite well my father tells these stories pretty frequently about me I was a computer geek in high school loved pirating games music playing computer games hosting servers etc my father was tired of me using all of the houses bandwidth so he set up some throttling stuff on the router all black held sim ports that I needed to use so I would turn on a man-in-the-middle attack and kill the internet modem and ask him to log into the router to troubleshoot he would log in and then I would get his password to reset all the settings I wanted another one but not nearly as cool my father installed a porn filter on all computers in the house cyber nanny iock that would filter Internet based off of her English text dictionary so if you just google boobs or something the filter would block the page so once finding out how the software worked I learned Spanish to get around around the filter this is actually a story about my mom and my uncle that I was told repeatedly as a child from grandparents and mom and her brothers my grandmother was a terrible cook can verify and often may liver and onions my mom and my uncle Steve the two oldest siblings out of four hated liver and onions and would never eat it on one such occasion they were behaving badly and sent to another room with their dinner plates and the ketchup bottle so they cut up their liver into tiny pieces and shoved it into the ketchup bottle a week later my grandfather made himself a sandwich and went to put ketchup on it my grandmother never made liver again at my kids school they have a process to recognize achievements that the children make outside of school so the kid does something good maybe gets the ballet certificate or wins our trophy in a sporting club and they take evidence of this to the head of the Junior School the head listens to their story gives them big kudos and the achievement is written up on a board with all the others my daughter is clearly thinking it's been too long since she's been able to get this kind of attention so she looks around herself to see what she can turn into an achievement she finds a number one dancer medal given to her at a recent birthday party she is a terrible dancer nevertheless she takes the medal to the head who does the whole congratulations routine and writes up the achievement on the board she tells us none of this one day I'm walking past the board I usually give it a quick scan to see if there's anything interesting on it well unexpectedly seeing my child's name along with awarded number one dancer medals certainly fell into that category I had a word with her about it I told her that I was very proud of her for her problem-solving but that if she did it again I would make her go to the head and explain the rose TL DR daughter once praised from school headmistress makes up achievements story relating to meaningless medal is successful gets busted by inquisitive father my two five-year daughter was in the second week of kindergarten and not really adjusted yet so some days she really wanted to go other days she didn't well one morning I was lifting her upper body from lying down to sitting by her upper arms like normal while dressing her she cried out and said I hurt her arm she held it really limp for 20 minutes and cried say as if I tried to touch it so naturally I got pretty worried budge twisted something on that she refused to lift the arm or move it at all her mom came home from work and sheduled a doctor's appointment on the way cried when we put her in the car seat had to put her arm through the seatbelt and when we took her out outside the doctors her angry crying is different from her crying so we knew she was in pain we get in and the doctor carefully touches and squeezes different parts of the arm does this hurt no how about this nope has he'll grab his fingers both arms and flailed them wildly around did that hurt nope big smile dot she conned this badly and she didn't go to kindergarten that day my older two were playing on the trampoline with the kids from next door I was playing nearby with my youngest son and was keeping an eye on the kids neighbor boy does a trick and now everyone else has to do the trick my eldest said he didn't want to do it because he didn't want to get hurt my middle son six years old says stop acting like a girl neighbor girl took offense and told my son not to say that my son sighs and says fine stop acting like a [ __ ] then Gavin double quote no idea where he pulled that one from he's my only kid that appears to have a potty mouth and we don't even curse in the house I thought it was pretty funny but had to correct him while trying not to laugh not a parent but definitely helped raise my sister's since my mother and father both worked I was 16 at the time and my sister was 10 and my other sister was 12 I was really sick and neither of my sister could use the stove I told him they can have food only of its microwavable or all and make then whatever they want I was so sick I was bedridden and wanted to watch movies but didn't have a TV in my room I fell all Sipan when I woke up I was in the living room with ramen noodles on the table and I had my sister under the blankets warming me up my youngest sister said he was shaking so badly so we both carried you down here and we made you soup eat up so you'd be strong I cried and then realized we live in a two-story house how the hell did they get me downstairs I am a 5 feet 2 girl and I weighed 90 pounds now I have always been small but I couldn't have been carried by them right anyways they also were not allowed to watch TV past 530 p.m. that I left at that time I love my sisters I keep my three-year-olds Halloween candy on a very high co hook in the entryway the highest of hooks usually underneath her raincoat it rained the other day and she got a glimpse of that candy bag while I stepped outside for mere moments she got out the stet ladder to reach it but the ladder wasn't high enough so she got her potty stool put it onto the bench adjacent to the hook and reached her candy goal when I found her she was casually eating skittles and watching Sesame Street she then offered me some skittles I was so impressed I couldn't be mad at her when my daughter started high school she immediately started signing her own permission slips so she could wag when she got older and sign her own notes thing was she didn't even take advantage of it for several years but set up the long con from the start heard a ruckus down the hall and came in to see my younger son four at a time standing over my older one 6e oh like that famous Muhammad Ali picture what's going on double quote we were boxing zero Oh double quote comma older son had a loose tooth and we were trying to get it out double quote older son gets up tooth is in the ground looks like it worked double quote high fives all around turns out the tooth he knocked out wasn't the loose one they were after but a different one oh well kid goes to kindergarten but after a few months parents notice that the kid license not really getting any better at counting reading or anything really parents ask if they can watch the kid for a day school hasn't got an issue turns out the school puts the kids in three groups red yellow and blue whilst two of the groups are doing lessons the third is always in the Sam kid playing with minimal supervision compared to those in lessons kid had worked out if at every changeover he went to the bathroom he could wander in and go straight to the sandpit no wonder the kid loves school as far as he was concerned it was a place has not been able to play in the sandpit for two months parents move the kid to another school sort of thought the teachers should have noticed when my kid was eight we were having some behavioral problems with her to put it mildly went to a therapist who talked to each of us individually and figured out the root of the problems she was playing us off of each other despite being only eight she had our number and was unintentionally for the most part winding her mother and I up over some minor thing then watching with glee as we fought over what she wanted us to fight over the therapist suggested we try an experiment the next time we caught ourselves being manipulated we were supposed to lock ourselves in the bedroom and refused to engage with our little Hellion her reaction was at once disturbing and enlightening she tried to bash down the door to the bedroom starting with the vacuum cleaner and when that didn't work she went to the kitchen got the pizza cutter out of the dryer and tried to saw her way into our bedroom in order to keep the fight going my ex-wife decided that my son 15 is no longer allowed to date this year despite the fact that it was never a problem before this coincided with him starting to date a girl down the street whose parents hate my ex-wife though she claims that had nothing to do with it she claims it is to ensure he gets good grades though he has yet to have a problem in that area as a rabies student instead of sneaking out and around or getting mad he went directly to the girl's father and offered to work for him in his shop guy runs a machine shop on his property cleaning up sweeping floors organizing so he got his first part-time job which his mother was okay with and in turn gets three nights a week where he is working where he gets paid to go out with the daughter it was sneaky and underhanded and perfectly orchestrated between my son and this guy's daughter and I am extremely proud of him 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Channel: Reddit Jar

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Keywords: reddit, r/AskReddit, ask reddit, askreddit, updoot, toadfilms, sir reddit, reddit jar, askreddit funny, askreddit dumb, reddit ama, reddit ask me anything, r/askreddit, reddit stories, reddit story, askreddit scary, askreddit stupid, scary stories, askreddit new, top posts, reddit top posts, reddit cringe, askreddit top posts, subreddit, funny reddit, best reddit posts, askreddit stories, best of reddit, reddit best, funny askreddit, storytime with reddit, r/

Id: 6tNiRiubKQI

Length: 33min 30sec (2010 seconds)

Published: Fri Oct 04 2019