Teachers, What was your "Impressive but I still have to punish the kid" moment? r/AskReddit

teachers have read it what was your ofck that's impressive but i still have to punish the kid moment first six months of teaching grade eight english kid did a 360 on one leg of his chair i was impressed but gave him a timeout because it was dangerous part of the requirement for timeout was that students identify what got them sent out in the first place i did a mad 360 on my chair but miss said it wasn't safe i've still got that timeout sheet on my desk too five years later yes ethan it was a mad 360. but it was still dangerous [ __ ] a go to love the smartassery of youth when i was in grade 9 i got detention and as part of this sheet i had to fill out it had a question what does your father do for work i answered he watches paint dry it was true he was an ace coating inspector for a non-destructive testing company esl teacher here so i teach high school esl class where most of my students either don't speak any english or they speak very little i had a student in there who was constantly disruptive and like to bully the other kids to establish his manliness one day the disruptive kid is doing his normal annoying shtick and out of nowhere my quiet little latina in the corner of the room in the clearest pronounced english i've ever heard her speak said you stupid [ __ ] i had to hold in a laugh i then had a quick convo with her and congratulated her on the clear pronunciation but also told her she couldn't say that in class edit i fixed my grammar i shouldn't write posts when i'm half awake edit too since people keep asking me i did deal with a troublemaker after that lesson was over i pulled him outside and gave him an ultimatum and when he did it again he got sent to ice in school suspension i just didn't include that part because it didn't have anything to do with the question also in high school acknowledging the troublemaker in middle of his troublemaking just fuels the fire more and sometimes ignoring the kid at the moment and talking to him later works better my husband used to work in after-school care one time he saw two kids starting to fight in the sandpit he headed over to try to calm them down but while he was on his way one kid ran at the other who just calmly flipped the first kid over his head like a textbook martial arts move my husband said he had to stop himself from shouting wow great job apostrophe i fought a lot as a kid because i was fat and prideful i learned how to throw someone over my shoulder early at about eight years old and that became my move until i got in trouble years later because someone tattled no one ever believes the bigger kid didn't stop the fight i had a classmate jump on the teacher's computer and visit a website that would go full screen and make it seem like it was a mac now instead of a pc it was april's fool's day and this was his prank this was in like 2003 so security wasn't the conversation it is today anyway he still got in trouble the teacher got really angry and kind of yelled at him to sit down in the corner she called in the vice principal then the principal then the on campus police office and then when he was good and terrified all four turned to him and said april fools and let let him off the hook he got his punishment though he was terrified kid in one of my classes visited a prostitutes facebook profile on the teacher's computer when confronted he said what she wants to be my friend of course the teacher had to report the whole incident so as to protect himself and he honestly just looked disappointed student in one of the schools i work at had as close to a full service bar and smoke shop set up in a couple of lockers as you can get the lockers were located in a corner of the hallway that is easily obscured and difficult to monitor the kid just slapped his own locks on there and nobody noticed when he was caught the lockers were found to have several makeshift shelves in them and contained several bottles of hard liquor some solo cups and paper shot glasses in one of them the other contained a backpack containing some weed and various other drug paraphernalia for sale the kid had quite the little enterprise going and god knows how much money he made before he got caught i was shown pictures of what was in the locker and i had to admit given what he had to work with it was quite an impressive setup of course i'm sure he was brought up on a significant number of charges but still even the principal had to give him credit for the setup i'm an art teacher had a student submit his art book with a great variety of different dck drawings one was an impressive concoction of two cat heads as the testicles and a detailed furry shaft as is was assessment i had to ring his mother to let her know me your son has handed in his assessment and it has penises drawn all over it mother i'm sorry you find my son style of art offensive me personally i am not offended however it does go against our school's graffiti policy edit to clarify this was in a public school in australia public schools have book policy rules and drawing giant dongs are classed under the graffiti policy on all property even the students own and it is definitely a big no no on assessment even art the student was supposed to be creating a design for sculpture in the school let's just say he had some interesting ideas my co-worker and i discovered that one of our students was running an underground crime syndicate selling individual icebreaker mints for 50 cents a pop we agreed not to punish him or inform the administration but we did confront him privately and told him he needed to stop before it got him in trouble he had about a half dozen employees and was selling at every grade level by the time we put an end to it kid was a c student at best but he's definitely going places i was a new teacher at a school that had a demerit system do something bad get a demerit at the end of the week get punished for every demerit over three one kid talked like a sailor i gave lots of warnings to prevent him from being punished to hell and back but that didn't faze him so he got demerits friday rolled around kid charlie 24 601 how many d merits do i have double quote me four kid what what the hell for double quote me swearing kid that's f king [ __ ] double quote the first time i caught students cheating it was two eighth grade girls that had all of the same wrong answers on a vocabulary matching test i pulled the girls aside after class to ask about it and after some sheepish grins they both admitted that a third girl their friend who was an a plus student had fed them both in correct answers on purpose she screwed over her friends because she was pissed they were mooching for punishment the first two girls got to keep their very poor test grades the mastermind got your friends are mad at you as her punishment natural consequences i can't remember the question that was asked of my niece about six at the time but she stood up in the class and said sister bernadette's a [ __ ] sister isn't a nun the teacher told my sister normal sister not a nun that whilst she couldn't condone the behavior sister bernadette was in fact a total [ __ ] they had a good laugh about it in a school i used to work in as a net in asia there was a kid who was frequently in trouble but at his call was a good kid he was always late failing exams not doing homework or having arguments with teachers over stuff he only argued if he genuinely felt a teacher was in the wrong at times they were however he was a genuine and funny kid and just lacked motivation he was also kind of picked on by a group of boys in his class now as an english teacher i assigned the kids into groups and asked them to write a song rap poem that they could perform for the class in english this kid decided it was his chance to destroy the guys in his class picking on him he whipped out a rap that wrecked them which included two lines get all the chicks but it's hard to please with their tiny dicks i had to punish him but god damn i was impressed back in the day my friend found an exploit in the school laptops that allowed him administrator access it was pretty clever he brought it up to i.t problem was it was very obscure and no one would have been looking for such an exploit unless they wanted to bypass the school's security so he got suspended i did the same thing in school except that i didn't report it to i t i used the admin privs to install quake 2 onto the library computers and we would set up lan games there when other kids were in the library computer lab i told everyone how to alt plus tab was good fun but we did get caught and we were banned from using the library computers unsupervised loaded it on other computers in the school using the same exploit was great not a teacher but when my mad lad english teacher was in school he was voted in by his peers as prefect after he promised them vending machines and pool tables he then told everyone that he lied about putting in vending machines and pool tables and explained why democracy is inherently flawed edit thank you for gold kind stranger i was a student in class at the time but we had this kid named michiel and for whatever reason some of the other kids called him mikkel pronounced like pickle in music class a room designed for sounds to travel a kid passed a note to him that said i'll give you a nickel if you tickle my pickle nickel and the music teacher snatched it and read it aloud i don't think she realized what she read till it was too late but i could tell she was holding in a giggle not a teacher but i remember in high school kid fought off a bully his two friends tried to help beat him up and the kid beat all three of them up jumps on the one who started it and beat him till he couldn't open either eyes the coach who saw this pulls him off and once settled down asked him did you do all this to them yourself and the kid's still angry but pretty casually goes and i'll f king do it again if these douchebags haven't learned anything and the coach goes you may have to i think you hit them so hard they're gonna have to learn their abs again too dart anyways long story short the kid got arrested and expelled never came back to school but the coach said he was impressed and wish the kid only got suspended for a bit instead of expelled i overheard the wrestling team saying that coach and the coach who split it up gymnastics coach had the security footage and would show it to their varsity teams only the initial bully got expelled too he was a regular offender hence why no one felt bad about his his friends only got minor suspensions because they were trying to break it up and come to a friend's aid i went to a 5a high school pretty diverse lots of fights not a teacher but i work in i.t in a big school guy came in asking us is we could put his pdfs in the right order it was a bunch of comic book artwork that was part of his a-level art project so we slotted all the pages into a nice pdf and he promptly went off and printed several hundred copies to sell to his mates we pulled him as he was by far the biggest print user for the day and he got some tea for it last i heard of him he was demoing his comics at a festival in germany and doing rather well i was the punish student here we have some little stick about three centimeters long and five millimeters diameter five crackers that if you scratch them to rough surface it will create a little cracking sound i invented a magnificent way to let them explode put the firecrackers below a stone then freaking stomp it literally the sound was like a flat tire and actually a bit deafening i try it outside my class the principal was walking by the whole school heard it every eyes were on me the principal immediately dragged me to his office threatening me to call the police i was underage and firecrackers should only be used with adult supervision and he did make a phone call i started crying my tears out begging him not to call the police few years later i realized that he was calling his family in his local language and dialect in high school a male senior went to his girlfriend with a guitar and some other boys as chorus it was valentine's so everyone thought it was love-filled melody for her it was a ballad about how he found out she was f king his best friend and tried to have sx with his older brother the chorus kept repeating you're a [ __ ] you're a [ __ ] double quote the senior boy and his chorus were suspended but most of the teachers could not stop themselves from laughing every time the incident was brought up our class teacher donna what's the right word he was basically the teacher responsible for us really had to hold back his laughter when punishing a guy in my class the dude managed to redneck engineer a smoke bomb that made the classroom unusable for two days in like 15 minutes we all probably inhaled not so healthy fumes that day but damn it was impressive especially when comparing it to the yt tutorial he followed my friend's dad tells the story of the time they were being taught how to make rotten egg gas in chemistry class and the teacher unwisely left the room for something the boys promptly dumped all the ingredients in the mix and decamped to the football field where they watched the heavier than air gas fill the room and cascade down from the upper story chemistry lab it enveloped the classrooms beneath all hell broke loose and there was no more school that day i'm not a teacher but a student who witnessed the whole event where i go to you can get detention for drawing or vandalizing the school bathrooms anyways a friend of mine who happened to be an artist himself thought it would be a good idea to paint the mona lisa on one of the bathroom stalls and it was so impressive one might even think he copied and pasted the actual painting onto the stall after lunch everyone was gathering around to look at this masterpiece and the school had to look at the security cameras to find the culprit and they gave the kid a two-day suspension plus having to clean up the painting which is bull i may still have a picture of the painting if i can find it some kid was gonna jump on a huge carton of milk and spray a group of 20 kids some genius kid quickly ran up and sprayed it backwards all over him he was head to toe white dripping with milk first kid gets punished whilst covered in milk for instigating boy in my class seniors us high school came to school in a playboy shirt with a fully naked woman on the front i sent him to the office to change and he came back pissed i told him to sit down and continue his work he kept crumbling and then suddenly stood up and said to the entire class raise your hand if you don't think my shirt is offensive and you think it's [ __ ] that i had to change before i could say anything a girl at another table whipped around and completely went off on him she was saying yes i found your shirt offensive no you are not as rebellious or as cool as you think you'll selfish and think that buying from the playboy brand makes you a playboy with your greasy ass hair and beer belly at 18. shut the fck up and don't wear pictures of naked women on your t-shirt is there a single woman in this class that finds you or that shirt attractive and then a long pauses we all sat there in silence the boy was a major ass and gross and i felt everything the girl said but i still had to talk to both of them about disruptions and yelling at the class i was working in a daycare severely overworked with bad helpers and no teachers that day all while all the doors were open because it was parents teacher conference night had a mom come in and we couldn't find her son it started off casual like oh he's probably in the bathroom before we started panicking realizing we couldn't find him the problem was the last person i saw him with was a boy he wasn't supposed to be hanging out with because the boy had physically attacked him the day before so i didn't want the mom to know they were playing so we spent the longest 10 minutes of my life searching for this kid before the bully boy knocks him out of an art cart where he had hidden as his mom broke down and tears he casually explained that he was playing hide-and-seek against the bully the mom was too happy she didn't care he was playing with a bully also thankful that i worked with this kid in another program so his mom knew this wasn't my fault close bracket was impressed that that kid stayed hidden even as we screamed his name and equally impressed that the bully found the kid in a near impossible spot to find him not a teacher but a memory from high school freshman history class i'm sitting in the back with my bud and i got the idea to whisper masturbate in my bud's ear next to me so i do once then again a few minutes later and again a few minutes later lather rinse repeat after about 12 minutes he goes dude shut up and the teacher goes hey you too stop talking double quote he keeps whispering mass debate in my ear room bursts into laughter including teacher and amazingly neither of us were punished but i was known as classroom masturbator for the rest of the year i i didn't get a lot of chicks that way idk of this counts but when i was in third grade one kid called me something along the lines of brainless [ __ ] so to fck with him a bit i said that i'm going to tell the teacher when he said that i definitely won't i wanted to prove him wrong and went to the office followed by him begging me to stop the teacher asked him where he learned such words and i spit out that's what they call him back home you could see her choking on her laughter when she paused for a moment with that painful i'm not smiling smile dude was also mentally handicapped pretty severely and had a [ __ ] brother so my comeback despite being cruel could be very much on point i'm sure she realized that she didn't say much later just that i'll need to stay a while after school to do some extra work and that i surely understand why my school hired two really bad teachers last year to teach math and ella as part of my sixth grade team one hated kids m's trench bullet the other was just so bad at her job couldn't control a classroom made questionable life decisions microwaved fish in her classroom then covered the smell with peppermint oil and never gave kids second chances once you were on her bad side you stayed there anyway her class was rowdy as ever and as the team lead i'd stop in and check on the kids every once in a while to help maintain some semblance of peace but this day i checked in too late and one kid was up on his chair oh captain style listing off all the ways that this particular teacher was terrible and how she was picking on certain kids etc while impressive i had to pull the kid from class which resulted in a detention we spent the detention going over hw playing cards and watching the hs soccer game [Music] my students had one kid distract me while i was grading tests and another took a photo of the answer key they thought it was like mission impossible i realized when i graded their tests there were many that i suspected weren't ready i was going to let them work through corrections for credit back well too many did better on this than they should have one kid in particular who consistently made these no matter what i tried made a bee on this stoichiometry test the next day the whole class had an open response quiz on the same material only three questions after that those kids would knock on each other left and right fairly minor compared to some of the posts it but i did have a kid jump out the window of my class because he saw canada goose outside they don't have canada geese in china i imagine they have chinese geese over there anyway he learned that canada geese aren't as welcoming and friendly as canadian people i honestly think information on the aggressive nature of the canada goose should be included in all refugee immigration and asylum seeker package in fact the customs officer should have to tell them or provide a pamphlet in their own language these poor new canadians let their guards down with the polite and welcoming canadian people only to be attacked by our waterfowl honestly i have seen so many new canadians and goose confrontations it's like a strange hazing practice not [Music] not me but my mom had to punish a kid who hacked into his tits's email as an april fool's pranks and told all of her students to bring a jar of peanut butter to class the next day apparently a bunch of these kids didn't even have peanut butter in their house and had to go and buy it my mom was very reluctant to punish him but parents were so furious that she ended up giving him a few detentions i know that she made sure to tell him how funny she thought the whole thing was however i asked this question because i too had such an experience to share i was waiting for the right moment so here goes i'm a student in grade nine there was this kid in our class the one whom read it is called the quiet kid the class bullies were bullying someone and the kid goes your dck is hanging out of your pants you dumb [ __ ] the whole class rose in an uproar a teacher entered the class to see what the ruckus was about the kid went on saying how johnson's baby shampoos yellow color was due to the bully's piss i could see he was trying really hard to hold back a laugh the kid got detention though [Music] [Applause] [Music] you

Channel: Reddit Jar

Views: 8,213

Rating: 4.9361024 out of 5

Keywords: reddit, r/AskReddit, ask reddit, askreddit, updoot, toadfilms, sir reddit, reddit jar, askreddit funny, askreddit dumb, reddit ama, reddit ask me anything, r/askreddit, reddit stories, reddit story, askreddit scary, askreddit stupid, scary stories, askreddit new, top posts, reddit top posts, reddit cringe, comedy, askreddit top posts, subreddit, funny reddit, best reddit posts, askreddit stories, best of reddit, reddit best, funny askreddit, storytime with reddit, memes, r/

Id: IjghRvB0zG4

Length: 23min 55sec (1435 seconds)

Published: Tue Sep 29 2020