Teachers Reveal Best Smart-A$$ Responses of Their Career

teachers what was the best smart butt response from a student you have heard there was this awesome history teacher i had freshman year of high school who was just always in an amazing mood we'll call him mr smith one day everyone is sitting in class waiting for the tardy bell to ring when a kid sneaks a condom onto the door handle the bell rings and mister smith walks into the room grabs the handle to close the door and pulls the condom off of it looks at the condom helmet for a split second and stuffs it into his pocket while saying thanks i'll need this later in high school one of my teachers was having a disagreement with a student i can't remember what it was about but finally the teacher asked him if she wanted her to call his mother the student replies do it then my mama will agree with me too the teacher then asks him to leave her class he goes you know what i'm gonna call my mom for you he then whips out his cell phone and calls his mom on speaker hey ma this teacher want to talk to you the whole class just lost it my buddies and i used to like to play ultimate frisbee on the football field during lunch we were told not to organized sports were supposed to be that organized they didn't want kids getting hurt without supervision anyway one day we said screw it and decided to do it anyway so they turned the sprinklers on us didn't stop us we kept playing and finally they sent a security guard out to get us detention for the rest of the day in the cold cafeteria soaked and cold so we started chattering and talking but it's hard to stay quiet when you're shivering anyway the coach watching over detention told everyone to shut up you will sound like a bunch of canaries in a cage everyone got silent then one person started it and it slowly grew cheap cheap cheap cheap cheap cheap cheap cheap cheap cheap moo the coach couldn't help but start laughing then turned the air even colder bastard i've taught preschool for years and one of my favorite dad responses to children who are being whiny just to whine as the high i'm your teacher egg i'm thirsty hi thirsty i'm your teacher anyway one day after a long week i sat down to lunch with my class preschool remember four five year olds and say to a child we'll call him tommy boy tommy i'm really tired today without skipping a beat he swallows his mac and cheese looks me right in the eyes and says hi really tired i'm tommy that was the day i knew i had taught him all i could i'm a preschool teacher too and for some reason that age group getting humor is the funniest thing ever we have a student who has english as a second language and one day as he was eating his lunch he announced to the group i'm really liking this smashed potato cube and sitting next to him snorting mashed potato out of his nose not a teacher but this happened in an upper-level french class where you can only speak french if you speak english the teacher scolds you in french my friend walked in a few minutes late for a quiz and wasn't allowed to take it my friend looked at the teacher and said in english that balls the teacher looked back angrily and said also in english what did you just say my friend and friend says messier he got kicked out of the class in french class we had one guy say to his friend oh you bastard right as the teacher walked in front of them and the whole class got quiet we thought they were in for it instead she goes and francis say batted in middle school in history class this happened girl hey mister c how do you spell word idr mr c d-i-c-t-i-o-n-r-y she writes it down stares at it for a moment trying to comprehend why it doesn't look right gets pierced teacher class is dying teacher laughing as well i always wondered how you're supposed to look up in a book a word you don't know how to spell like sure you've probably got the first letter so you know roughly which section it's in but after that it could be basically anywhere as far as you know not me but a colleague told me this story it was one of his first years teaching so he was about 22-24 at the time it was a junior high science class and he told the student to stop messing around and get back to work the student's response man i got be older than you all i'm looking at right now is a b younger than me back to work my sister who is a teacher was taking her kindergarten class through the lunch line well this day was saint patrick day so there was green cupcakes my sister told the class jokingly don't eat too many cupcakes or you'll turn green a young black boy looks up at her and says miss carey i ain't never seen a green brother before till brothers don't get jealous in biology during high school the teacher was teaching us about food chains in a very the house that jack built manner he got to cats eat mice but what eats cats although he was referring to fleas i being chinese immediately said chinese people the class burst out in laughter but then i had to stand up and apologize to all the chinese people in men's choir in college we were singing the little drummer boy the director stopped our singing and explained something to us he got distracted and went off on a tangent for about five seven minutes then he pulled himself back around but couldn't remember where he had stopped he asked himself out loud hum now where will we someone in the buses said i think we were on pun the whole choir just lost it not a teacher my english teacher in high school was going on about how she thought that learning another language was good for creativity and thinking outside the box she asked the class what language they thought was best you got the standard french italian etc finally the smartest just blurts out newspeak would be double plus good teacher absolutely lost it i was showing cosmos in a break between classes and one kid seemed particularly enthralled by the tardigrade so his wissy's friend goes small minds are amused by small things the kid retorted why do you think i hang out with you the whole class went bananas and even i went over and high-fived that kid it was a great class the victim was laughing as hard as anyone i miss those kids that was a kid who could deal it out and take it i had a friend who got into an argument with their teacher about the whole eye before except after c thing and if it sounds like an ati my friend told his teacher that wasn't always true so she got defensive and started going off about her lit degree and how she knows more than him his response was no seriously there are some weird words where that rule doesn't apply but she kept saying that it wasn't true and he kept saying the same thing over and over there are some weird words where that doesn't apply he did this like five times and finally she snapped and yelled like what he just yells weird she permanently kicked him out of her class for being a smart butt well that's a pretty weird reason to kick someone out not a teacher but i had a real cu next tuesday of a chemistry teacher i was only a few steps away from the classroom entrance when the bell rang she asked why i was late told her the bell rang before i got here since then i never received above a c on any of my work even in group labs i personally would receive a letter grade lower than my lab mates english teacher here i told a rowdy student to pipe down and work on her social studies test it was a study hall she said she would if i allowed her one meaningless act of rebellion i asked her what and she immediately burst out laughing and said can i put tape on your arm so she put a single piece of scotch tape on my arm and then happily worked on her test for the next 40 minutes kids will never stop mystifying me i once promised a kid that i would arm wrestle him if he finished whatever it was he was working on he happily worked on it for half an hour then came to claim his prize sometimes the littlest things work pz1 he was 11 in my defense he was a massive samoan kid and i am a short white girl we had a teacher that would always threaten to phone our home if we were misbehaving which he promptly stopped after teacher what would your mother say if i called home right now student she would say hello my math teacher said if you don't understand ask me there are no stupid questions where a guy in my class quickly responded is that so do you cut your toenails with a chainsaw not a teacher but in class when i was younger a kid was causing trouble and the teacher got after him but the kid was complaining about the desks and the teacher asked should we just get rid of them all and sit and hear indian style the kid responded you mean with a six-pack on the cub he got kicked out oldest meanest english teacher at my school was going over adjectives and modifiers all day super boring reject student gets up to use bathroom and is told to get a hall pass he then says something like i hate these dang hall passes teacher is p and respond angrily with what did you say and the kid responds with dang hall passes dang modifies whole passes mic drop and he's gone i'm not a teacher but this is a story about my tits's response to one particular smart bot answer so my high school mythology teacher mr d would have his honours class students help him grade tests from the other classes he would always require properly spelled right in answers no multiple choice for him so we'd get the tests he'd read off the answers and we'd mark them accordingly one of his questions was who was the wife of king menace now according to our greek law pacifi minos's wife was the one who had fricked a bull and gave birth to the minotaur so mr d tells us that the answer is pacifi and one of the students kinda timidly raises his hand uh mr d goes what you got um they wrote the less the class breaks into laughter mr d grins and thinks about it a second i like it half credit that's why he was everyone's favorite teacher good sense of humor and the fact that the answer knew that minos's wife was the one who birthed the minor torment that at least some of the mental connections were there so they got credit a great guy mr d for dionysus like most spanish classes all the students had mexican versions of their names egg robert equals roberto kyle was sleeping in class one day when the teacher tried to wake him by calling him by his mexican name carlos after saying carlos multiple times without getting him to wake up she got impatient and yelled kyle so kyle wakes up and says milamo s carlos milamo s carlos equals i call myself is carlos this happened to my best friend in his french high school physics class one day the teacher was in a grouchy mood and couldn't get the control of his classroom people talking laughing generally not paying attention he was never good at controlling his class but i guess this day he had enough he goes off on a rant yelling and screaming about how he deserves respect and how they need to listen mind you all of this is in french he then goes to say that they should be polite because he is being polite now polite in french as poli pronounced poli so the teacher in his raging rant says boy jesus poli translating to emmy i am polite at this point the class goes silent for a moment after my friend blurts out in english how you're doing poorly at that point the tension was broken amongst the student and laughter filled the room the teacher wasn't impressed kid has his head down at the back of science class every day never does any work but we all know he's quite smart teacher calls him out for it one day and says why do you sleep so much at the back of the class do you think you're smarter than everyone do you think you know everything in the book he raises his head wearily and says i've done all the work at home just leave me alone all alrighty really yes if you can answer a few questions on the book you can sleep for the rest of the term okay if you can't then you'll sit right at the front and not put your hair down once okay he then began to answer every question the teacher could throw at him she even pulled up stuff we weren't ever going to study in the back of the book and he just answered every question flawlessly by the end of this three-minute exchange he asked we done the teacher was speechless so he said thanks and put his head down again it was sick this is more well timed than smart but but once in middle school this kid next to me was looking and acting like he was sick and asked to be excused from class the teacher asked why the kid was about to respond but then immediately threw up all over his desk and onto the floor after a bit of coughing he looked up and muttered that's why our teacher was teaching us about the states of matter solid liquid and gas he was talking about how a solid you can break into littler pieces but how you can't do the same to liquids or gases so i blurt out but you can break wind i still talk to that teacher and he says that was the best part of his teaching career this was in sixth grade that is gold right there i'm a diving coach and i have four divers i'm responsible for so i don't usually get swimmer's contact info we were on our way to a meet and one of the swimmers was not on the bus i said who has redacted s number no one so obviously i got mad this is your teammate and not one of you girls has her phone number to text her so one of my divers chimed in why don't you coach i said i have four divers i don't need another 30 high school girls numbers in my phone she replied hahaha you wish easily the best burn of my coaching career damn it becky i said i don't need another 30 high school girls numbers in my phone the 30 i have on rotation already is enough our football coach taught economics at our second rate high school in south texas when the material was too boring for him he would often do some kind of trivial pursuit flashcards one time he pulled a card from the deck that asked what city has zero percent population growth the smart bot in the class quickly raised his hand and other students were baffled as usual so he called on the smart butt with a quick reply the smart butt said the vatican of course because little boys can't get pregnant in grade 8 we were learning some kind of tough math and the teacher wanted to challenge us and give us something just out of our skill range only problem was he needed to give us a mini lesson so we would be pointed in the right direction and do it yourself it was close to the end of the day so we're all acting up and being loud as the teacher says if you don't pay attention you won't be able to do this question sure you can shout one of the genius kids then come up here and do it planning on having the genius embarrass himself with this clearly advanced math for a 13 year old he hops up grabs the chalk starts working on the problem narrating every step drop the chalk and says then just solve it normally the teacher was stunned likely because it was the right answer i have always wondered if this was some kind of fluke or as lucas really was that smart my aunt is a kindergarten teacher she saw a kid carrying another kid on his back she told them to not do that because they wouldn't grow then the kid on top ask her and who did you carried dut my aunt is 1.54 metres tall in religious studies teacher ganesh is the remover of obstacles i have a little statue of him in my house me is he in your bathroom teacher why would he be me ganesh is the remover of obstacles right that teacher laughed for 10 minutes straight mandatory i'm not a teacher but here goes inquire one day a male class clown was sitting with the soprano section before class teacher comes in and starts class without noticing him he had long hair but still hard to imagine anyway 20 minutes and she realizes it and laughs a bit she asks him if he's been there the whole time and that he must look like a girl to fit in so well without missing a beat he replied i guess i am what i eat the class and teacher lost it many years later they would come to learn that long-haired franklin really did eat girls he was arrested and sentenced to death for his heinous crimes against nature and the people present in that classroom would all recall this event and think we should have known we should have known for context this was at a catholic school and the teacher a very stern fire and brimstone nun and the student an extremely liberal anglican had been at each other's nerves all year after correcting the teacher on something she had gotten wrong the nun said something along the lines of i hope you learn to enjoy the heat because it's going to be very hot when you end up in the deepest level of heck and entirely unruffled without a moment's hesitation she responded actually according to dante's inferno the deepest level of heck is made of ice but don't worry i'll bring a jacket dante's inferno isn't exactly biblical cannon though high school spanish we had the absolute shittiest teacher ever it was done over cameras and she simultaneously taught three classes everyone including the class monitor hated her anyway about halfway through the year enters eddie now eddie's mom moved from our little backwards town years ago to pursue modelling in spain and has now returned with her son who was born and raised in spain people loved eddie very bright funny and had a very open european personality of course eddie knew spanish better than his english which was atrocious and he kinda sounded like arnold schwarzenegger after a stroke but i assume spanish class is pretty equivalent to english class no one talks like this and written spoken english are two different beasts after a test which he bombed he got in an argument over the mic which was a classic it said like this and no no the proper way is this after a few minutes you could tell he had had it he pushed the button on mike to speak and literally said botch look i'm from freaking spain and left the entire student population and her slack jordan speechless i went to a catholic high school one day in religion class a girl asked if dogs went to heaven our teacher said number the girl said it happened in some movie i can't remember what movie she said the teacher said you can't believe what you see in movies a guy in the back of the class jumped in and said passion of christ was a movie my grandmother was a librarian for a school in flint there was one teacher she didn't get along with who was subbing for a class when the teacher was taking attendance she called upon a kid called sleeve esther and she pronounced it sylvester he corrected her and said it was pronounced slyvester she asked what idiot named you that and the kid replied my dad's lee vesta senior one second grader to another jimmy if you turn out the lights in the bathroom and say bloody mary three times she'll appear becky a bloody mary is a drink stupid they start so young one of my questions on a quiz i made was use one of the following vocabulary words in a sentence a student responds abdicate is one of our vocab words this unit i had to give him full credit did this to a teacher in middle school i wrote i do not know the meaning of insert word here she gave me full marks i was a student in the class not the teacher the class was anatomy and physiology and we were studying human reproduction our teacher was discussing how measuring your basal body temperature to determine ovulation she recommended that women take their temperature at bedtime just as your head hits the pillow one of the seniors piped up wouldn't that ruin the mood our teacher had to go out in the hall she was laughing so hard i live in a latin american country so the name jesus is really common so one day while in music class a mate from another class comes to give some kind of announcement none of us are paying attention while he is trying to talk so the teacher angrily shouts everyone listen to jesus to which a friend replied listen to his word hallelujah one of my buddies in high school gym class was jumping back and forth between the bleachers which be off the gym teacher the gym teacher scolded him and asked how would you like it if i came to your house and jumped all over your couches in which my buddy replied i would be kind of creeped out if you came into my house the whole class loved it this is a story about me back in the day we were discussing in class what our term papers were going to be on we go around the classroom saying our subject it falls on me me space exploration teacher well space is very big me that's accurate there were lots of laughs and i still feel bad about this occurrence today i cringe at the thought of it and don't know if my teacher took it jokingly or if i seemed like a huge douchebag miss mcphillips if you're reading this i meant it jokingly by space exploration i meant like mars missions and this mishap in the classroom was only several years ago she's not dead if you are new to the channel you can subscribe i publish new videos every day until then check another video [Music] bye for now

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Id: PNPGoaIQTgk

Length: 22min 50sec (1370 seconds)

Published: Wed Oct 28 2020