Tall Girl is a BAD PERSON

hello everybody welcome to cosmonaut picture show today we are watching tall tall tall girl tall girls that about so like they're just doing hallmark specials on Netflix now that's kind of what you know yeah while we're on that topic I love how Netflix will just name [ __ ] sometimes yeah you go back and catch on to this because money high bank height money Heights that's what it is funny hi tall girl they just renamed it at anything yeah hard to come up with names damn here I see a woman who it's clearly genetically superior to most people yeah stronger stronger that's more energy probably higher up to the to the atmosphere so her lungs probably looking less air I know I've only known you for like two minutes but you want to [ __ ] God oh [ __ ] she's hideous can't do the jaws shots at all girl you know that really really really tall girl that you go to school with the one that people call LeBron I here's the thing nobody's calling you LeBron 16 years old six foot one it's not even that tall I'm high school junior wearing size 13 Nikes how many times we're gonna verbalize this she literally wears stripes in a jumpsuit like as if that's gonna hide her high yeah she could do a loss director she's wearing like [ __ ] Feliz that are adding like it like three extra inches to her but this is our friend character yeah I bet she's the fun quirky character that ends up kind of getting in a fight later with her oh yeah here we go calling out I only make up towards the end yep there hey what'd you say to my best friend Charita please quick you think you got jokes say some more funny stuff dazzle what if the secret is the only reason they're making fun of her for being tall is because they make a big deal out of it this is my superhot older sister Harper definitely 18 years old clearly she holds the record for the world's tallest woman she died 2012 age fools guy's a dick he resents his tall daughter he honestly looks like every single shot he's in it looks like they just put him down in that chair no problem when you're good at something other people tend to want to watch you do it and I don't need to give people another reason to look at me it's like somebody she's not ugly did you call her candid girl extremely candid she's just tall she's a pretty girl yeah she's like I cannot bear to have people look upon me oh no I look like tall sansa tall girl have a name did we her name's dog girl that is we are officially I don't remember what her name is her name is just tall girl why is he carrying his books in a milk crate what's even more of a mystery is why he's crazy about someone twice his size so he likes you you do this every day Dunkleman it's never gonna happen this guy this short king just once his taller than him GF his name's Dunkleman wear high heels do something crazy they don't make heels in size 13 men's they do actually they they cuss 13 men's is has an equivalent female foot size that you could get heels in so the thing is I guess it's like the highest glance movie of like oh I want a boyfriend but she from the beginning she has a boy who's like I think are beautiful and I don't care that you're tall and she's like well I don't [ __ ] care because you're too short we have for an exchange student joining us today he comes to us all the way from Sweden he's so [ __ ] gorgeous literally wearing the same thing she wore in the last scene oh and he comes up you know it's chemistry because the son of Adolf Hitler yes I can build as a hydrogen bomb I despite this that's not her hand that is a girl a district he'll one'll say it she's so good normal small should I yeah wearing stripes even in every scene to make yourself look taller if she's really upset about being tall she wouldn't wear Feliz what's our bets is she gonna date short boy or is she gonna end up with swedish with pewdiepie or is he I think like you know she's gonna go for the pewdiepie guy and he's gonna be like she's gonna realize that true love was there the whole time with short boy with panic at the disco okay here's a good twist they're just living together right that is kind of a cool twist I know I like that yeah makes the story interesting maybe the rest of the movie won't be about buddy we're just Stieg that's like a rock rock band name everybody's nuts for what is it grundle man what's his name don't call me uncle man everybody in the real world would be nuts about Grindelwald because he's a drama kid with personality toppers lasers yeah and likes Panic at the Disco first I it's dunzo he gets all [ __ ] he wants somebody if he wants it I was popular and look at me we do we're idiots we're short short dummies what are those things what oh did you know that those actually have like a lot of trace chemicals in them that would give you a cocaine like high those are literally addictive that's why she's doing doctors tell you don't don't do these too much also a shirt it looks like a shower curtain girls circling him like shark they don't they want his Chum they want his his sweet Chum that warm hot Chum what am I supposed to look at in this what's the focal point which literally a single object was ever entirely in frame you make me UBC I can't wait tell me Oh ugly by comparison understand they both have the same exact cheekbones it's Little John Mulaney and I'm sick of a brown haired boy with freckles insisting he's ugly when he's clearly more attractive than I was as a young boy with brown hair and freckles sometimes I wonder what it'd be like to go to lunch with my friends and have them ask me about my problem is furthermore you know what they're really not a good friend to her look at this [ __ ] what the [ __ ] is that girl back there building you see that giant head you got skills little [ __ ] go it'll may there's no more anything there's no Monet in that holler girls losin it Toleration girl is literally losing everything because I'm not paying attention or anymore not even about character it's not even about her what is happening why jumpsuit like a red jumpsuit this is us scissors you almost killed me do you know what this or not boys you were awesome on good morning New Orleans focus okay movies not actually bad we should probably clarify that no it's bad it's not that bad is that a picture of a Benihana made yeah that's like a bloomin onion on her chest you have an unpaid internship at the residue zone why are you so rude yep your sisters trying to help you yeah honestly that's a good get if you get an unpaid internship the residents in and you're trying to get in hotel management yeah that's a wonderful stepping stone are you so jealous told you're gonna be an Olympian and you're making fun of her because she has to work for her yeah seriously you could be a model there's so many things you can do with being tall you can fight crime yeah when you're short on crime I can't do any of that you fight you you get fight like space crime yeah besides you really don't think a guys how to steed would be into you do you it's stick idiot it's seem steep my dad mystique and if you're mad at us for making fun of Swedish people just imagine what it would be like to make fun at all people we need to make our fun dammit there's a short king's it's like Martin Freeman mixed with jeremy renner he looks like he's having a heart attack in everything oh okay like really really fast so you get blue shimmer for two looks like it's one week and everyone knows your name I have to tell you it's bad news I'm witness protection [Laughter] many people know me save me Dunkel I need to be as unpopular as you are you have to teach me your way I don't want to run into Kimmy she prank called you Jody so what easy for you to say okay nothing rattles you I'm a [ __ ] black Jody it's a [ __ ] prank call I got told the n-word on the bus the other day tall girl needs a better personality yeah like boring you'll have a personality you just become tall girl she wants use the problem finding me thing you'll hear ha just him messing around on this beautiful piano by myself waiting for you in the I was actually eating the insulation you're just trying so hard at the right notes that your fingers are tensing up so just listen I don't need you to [ __ ] make fun over me it's Guys and Dolls my favorite musical mmm me too it the classic you like musicals oh my god you played piano you like musicals a girl and the gamer oh my god see I think it's for torsos long she's a long torso she's not actually tall it's a pretty short Oh [Laughter] no well good ADR yeah and not even in think not her voice he's like who the [ __ ] is that the song just having little impromptu concerts here with some Jodi I don't like that name you are not tall girl to me this is my girlfriend Kimmy girlfriend thank you baby what'd you find gave him on my diet slice before class she's a swedish slave every girl every girl's a jury of honestly oh so it's just a coincidence that's it two of you happen to be here together yeah stay away from him I will that's a very like insecure like stay away from him please don't say my boyfriend yes see like okay she is feeling a little fizzy lifting drinks she's like she's she knows what's up it's like okay you know what I did have a moment just now and that went really well I'm not gonna be self-conscious about it but now I'm gonna walk into a Klan meeting this is my Freemasons party you weren't supposed to be here she's gorgeous yeah I like her chapter meeting for what we're are talking topless what would you say tall club that the tip stoppers is a tall club top that doesn't exist he's like I tried so hard to include my daughter in this very bizarre situation I thought a ritual would make her happy and and then you can see that they're they're perfectly okay being tall oh hey reduction surgery yep I love googling things with capital letters and things in that Wow the next time I see you I'm gonna take my size 13 Nikes and I'm gonna kick you in the nards heart okay do you understand me my big feet plus your tiny little nerds equals pain I didn't like any of that who wrote that one Oh big feet on my tiny just on that date uh sorry I'm watching a lot of anime no that means well I was people I was playing for tonight with calling me a [ __ ] or right for real this drama kid would be he would be [ __ ] drowning and [ __ ] he speaks Japanese yeah he's a handsome little boy freckles he's in a dryer he's wears awesome blazers I would want to be friends of this guy also his house is amazing this kid would be the most popular dude in school I will say if fortnight VR is out then when Tom's are all walks around her high school every woman around her is saying please step on me yeah you know what yes those two have to be compatible she would have so many girls being like Queen yeah slay please step on me yeah Sansa okay how far the movie uh halfway point but actually kind of suck this space did not convey happiness at all good evening are you approaching me [Laughter] [Laughter] it's just cocaine you taught me this she's actually she's never been like a beauty pageant queen she's just [ __ ] crazy you dress this way you walk around and you react weirdly two people in the house we never see it or do anything normal she's throwing knives outside dressing like this snorting drugs she don't keep me tonight with Jody and kiss me [ __ ] shy he's crying not people short boy [ __ ] I've not even cut tired let's go outside to a football Joanie's great yeah and you know she smells like [ __ ] like a late August midday Sun shower and she's got skin like sweet buttery whipped cream the bud no like it tastes that girl looks that way I don't like any either of those I'd prefer not to think about hungry now though he made herself delicious it's just my big tall ice-cream girl this destroys azar don't like this mr. robot like yeah framing it is works in that show cuz people are not so [ __ ] miserable you're lying huh I want to climb that ice-cream mountain baby she's good she good cream seeking you so my hot foot on that whipped cream you know I'm talking about no looks like it looks like buttery whipped cream thank you respond to my text messages I was making out with [ __ ] no big deal he's ruining everything yeah come on Tommy please Ziggy actually is very he got does these impressions of people impressions if there's a great Jeff Goldblum you've been braising that turkey for 15 minutes not funny me none could make better sushi than this since she's brine that sounds like my D and evil is a British voice I guess you could be anybody don't do Kevin Hart it's just sucks AG the Edward everyone's like oh where have you been my whole life I was talking to the cookies yeah this kid's got game yeah why was he going after crazy-ass tall girl oh girl oh girl tall girl that's a low blow for such a tall girl not only are you a bad friend morally you're coming up short yeah tall girl is a bad person you're trying to break up a relationship that just started with a girl who's very obviously insecure and dealing with some oh my gosh what arm just like grab and throw [Laughter] [Music] I really want to [ __ ] you baby [Music] 75% friend fight yep friend fight the formula [ __ ] sucks for these I just need one of these you literally seen them all yep really [ __ ] extra this she's like I don't like black guys whatever like this like that completely flipped he's like oh so you don't like because I'm black meanwhile the only good person in the movie it's like has a no friends it's pretty badass actually that's like sick you like that would never be allowed whoa oh good dude arts now wouldn't it be great if we could meet and exceed guests expectations in the ongoing Middle East conflict that's that's actually really funny joke it's actually a really funny joke I like that one it's [ __ ] face this is I have never seen the horse suit suicidal bad bite can I explain please to help don't curse this party all day I mean people start showing up early and I really didn't think of this like Adonis type style man could be stopped by oh poor manage time management I do I do I'm just you're too short this poor girl she's like been trying this whole time this is miserable this guy look at this shot it's a horror movie I just feel like I should have been there for my tall daughter you're my tall girl how do you get here there's a lot of man I guess hey I'm here to sneak in the jetties are mostly sleeping he came in the doggy door small boy still asleep you just bit me what's wrong with you he's pissed off what's wrong with you Joe watch the movie he's looking you the [ __ ] what happened here I I took I took a spill but um I'm fine no the asian girl just [ __ ] decked him yeah it's like I don't hate you but I'm gonna beat the [ __ ] [ __ ] out of you yeah for leading me on high heels mm-hmm they're from a specialty drag queen store called scream queens they just make like they make shoes for tall girls I worked as at stores that sold shoes they exist what's your favorite color will call her eyes man green no they're not they're blue I didn't even know that and I'm looking at it for like an hour and a half now that's a crime you can't oh no they didn't [ __ ] beat the [ __ ] out of dunkers I'm sorry like he's he's a cute kid he would've gotten the [ __ ] beaten out of me punch some black he wouldn't come back with more than just a little black guy it's just all I am a tall girl you know what he has earned my love now I'm going to grace him with my my big huge feet on his nards what is she doing here you don't even go here anymore have you lost weight or something okay I've just been doing that cocaine really suppresses the appetite I mean the allergies yes the sisters the best character yeah moving for this this cool outfit she's planned it was like the the Ichabod Crane look no see oh yeah oh yeah Janelle Monae oh it can't be it's all girl you wear those heels enough maybe like half of the year you come back one day without the heels you're only six one you may know me as Amazon or Godzilla or Jodi the Green Giant or any of those other in stop we never said any of those things everything's not about you and you're tall man you've only been made fun of for being tired why these I'm so much more than than just a tall girl and I've made mistakes I've kissed a guy who I knew had a girlfriend what a guy like that his face is like mmm this movies about an hour and a half there have only been two times when people made fun of her for being tall two times every other time has been herself saying it stupid great talking Peter Parker looking ass why didn't you tell me the real reason you got a black eye what he's like and I'm not into you anymore I realized you're really tall that what the heels are he's gonna stand on the crate and smoocher yep that's why he has it out here oh my god that's why he carries the crate he's carried a crate for years so he could stand on it and kiss her that is the lamest [ __ ] as a short king who dates taller girls I don't like this we can lay low or we can stand tall legs stand tall it's taller last word the movie halls the last word of the movie yeah I'll say something that was the height of stupid really came up short I don't have anything to say about that you're just trying to make sure you don't compromise your stature it's a movie reviewer hey guys it's me here to remind you that you can go over to patreon to get the full commentary track for this movie and many others just head over to patreon.com slash cosmonaut variety hour for commentary tracks like this and other stuff as well all right guys thanks for watching

Channel: The Cosmonaut Variety Hour

Views: 3,667,767

Keywords: cosmonaut picture show, tall girl, netflix, commentary

Id: KUc9KJrTvUY

Length: 24min 20sec (1460 seconds)

Published: Tue Oct 01 2019

Reddit Comments

[u/TheGillos]

830k subs and I've never seen these guys despite being online almost every day for decades, and being a movie fan. I always find it odd when I find these almost million sub channels in genres I enjoy.