Space Jam 2 is Epic

this video is sponsored by nordvpn all right hey marcus hey i was really surprised that you said we're gonna like watch basketball like i know it's like 10 a.m or whatever i've got a lot to tell you about like with like the rules and how everything works in basketball and then maybe after we could like go and shoot some hoops um why are all the cameras set up no welcome everybody to cosmonaut picture show today is a very special occasion we have a certain film that's very important to us a film that you all may know as space jam and we were gonna do the original space jam as an episode we've planned this for a long time but we have been graced with a sequel i mean i was surprised i was like oh my god it's out and it's here on our television screen yeah but before we begin we have a word from our sponsor today's picture show is sponsored by nordvpn and nordvpn really is the best way to protect your internet browsing i've personally gone through a few vpn services before nord came to me 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is a limited time special offer that can be anywhere between one to four additional months and if that's not enough this bonus is risk-free with nord's 30-day money-back guarantee so remember that's nordvpn.com cosmonaut and of course i would like to thank nordvpn for sponsoring this video swag wet lass grossie i can't think of a looney tunes character with a g who's that big orange one what's his name grongus oh my god it's like space jam 1 showing us a flashback for the main character [Music] what the hell is this oh snap oh snap nothing that's the guy from dread the one who skins and murders people uh it's actually the same character go on cross that white boy up there we go lebron's james sucks at basketball you're not lebron james you're jesus i'm not even disappointed about us losing the game tonight because it's not about that it's about you giving your all and you didn't do that tonight bro he's like 12. lay off he's giving [ __ ] about playing game boy he wasn't even on the court it's not like he's out there like this this is what no [ __ ] up that was not an optimistic opening like in the first space jam it was like he was like a [ __ ] kitten his dad's like you could do whatever you want to do you can go [ __ ] it up michael the james residence okay so i so far i like that lebron james has a ridiculously huge mansion the most unrealistic thing in space jam 1 is that michael jordan lived in like a normal house even though he was like the richest dude ever so how much more work does your video game need it's been months it's almost ready like how you're almost ready to tell that about the e3 game cam next weekend e3 game camp i haven't even heard of that yeah wait well they don't let us go to that you know they only let young amateur athletes go so is video is lebron james gonna be like anti-video game in this yeah i'm assuming that's what it's leading up to and if you're gonna be out here it's about giving everything that you got and not whatever that was oh no lebron is a dick in this movie i need you focusing more instead of playing with these toys darius chill out you know i got full court vision [Laughter] lebron is [ __ ] basketball super powers this is lebron's domain expansion everything within the court [Laughter] can't be great without putting in work i don't want to be great i want to be a gamer this ridiculous view i okay okay maybe maybe putting them in a normal house would have helped ground them a little bit because this is a better view than [ __ ] tony stark the first one it's all about soul right yeah it's all about well the first one's just a giant commercial it is not trying to be a movie at all this so far has a theme which is very new for space jam this is the blade runner 2049 equivalent yo the animaniacs be living in there all right wait what all right are we i'm sorry warner brothers is confirming they're basically the umbrella corporation servers server into the server there's don cheadle don chito but don't just take it from me take it from my good friend the black transformer jazz what's cracking my homies algorithmically speaking he's more than an athlete yeah he's a king he's a god i know i'm just an algorithm pete that's precisely why i need all right okay so he plays an algorithm don cheadle please don't shut down our video no this is the guy this is the [ __ ] guy who shuts down all my warner brothers i'll never make fun of your british accent in the oceans movies if you don't shut down our video this is i feel a true hatred for this villain so far wait why did he just scan a what is he doing okay what's the hobby here all right i'm gonna be really if i was your dad i'd be like what are you doing the better you do the more people tune in let me see a couple of those combo moves let me see a couple of those combo moves cause it's not real basketball no lebron it's a video game this is a bastard ambassadorization he does support his son's hobbies i didn't expect that i thought we were going to full like yeah lebron basketball only basketball only [ __ ] and you better be straight yeah would you just say did you just say please dad dab no i said please dab i love him it's time for our greatest creation yet warner 3000 oh no they're making a streaming service think about it batman versus lebron okay they are officially making fun of the premise lebron in the chamber of secrets oh my god i hate this saturation that's hurting all right i don't i don't maybe i wasn't paying attention but i don't understand the plan they're just gonna make a lebron james extended universe that's that's sort of where i was going with this this idea is just straight up bad okay i'm glad he agreed i'm not going to basketball camp dad damn you don't have to be scared also basketball camp usually um you can get like a day off if you need it yeah you can just go just go to e3 and then go to basketball camp after you're lebron james's kid oh my god who's power pose he may be the most powerful individual he is he has a great impact on my life nobody's gonna hear us now because of what he's doing right now like we cannot make fun of this character or he will block this video so far he is my favorite actor in the film so i mean lebron actually ain't doing that bad no but he's compared to like michael jordan in the original space jam who is god awful yeah you guys are nuts oh my god yeah what if you saw your kid just [ __ ] disappear into a vortex now the ball is life now i'm very much expecting the movie to go downhill here yeah how powerful is the warner brothers algorithm how powerful is lebron james to manifest himself in this his sense of self is just so strong yeah the ego it's also well it's kind of like how goku gets to keep his body in the afterlife since he's such a hero he gets he's allowed to keep his body wow sanji is tall wait no he's not yeah wait a second he is not taller than lebron james okay okay so the thing is he has to he has to play a basketball game for the fate of his son pete send this clown to the rejects the reject oh my god warner brothers you're outwardly calling your greatest property your rejects and that's exactly what you've done in the last 30 years below westeros uh below what is this casablanca city what the [ __ ] a nike swoosh i'm shorter than kevin hart even when kevin hart's not here the kevin hart humor plagues this only two people live here him and bugs everybody else ran away they're all dead bugs killed all of them you missed your cue whoa rabbit season all right yeah now say i'm hunting big chunkis bugs is so desperate for a friend he just he's making him live out the bits yeah this is so sad he's gonna kill him he is gonna he has killed everyone oh god books now you need to stop this is unhealthy what happened was one character left and bugs already felt the loss so he tried enacting the bits with that one character and slowly it just devolved and compounded not itself he took it too far they're begging it like bugs please like you need to stop elmer fudge is like bugs i i want to be a lawyer everybody's got the part to play doc this is my world you're just living bugs please you're hurting him this is basically the same plot as i have no mouth but i'm a scream this is the exact same thing this is terrifying he butted them up saying they were wasting their time that there was much more to see in this cyber voice than old why was it why is he just like a fan how long ago was that he said they're in game of thrones world that's why the last season was so weird it's just run by looney tunes it was directed by elmer fudd i just want to see those siblings kiss [Laughter] wouldn't it be crazy if daenerys destroyed the whole city anyway excuse me marvin the martian i like me he's just a fan as a gigantic looney tunes fan this would be me even amongst the torture that bugs pushed me through i'd and they're the seven or the nine or whatever how many gods they have that's all [ __ ] it's actually gone just won and he lets them kill each other oh wait are we gonna go to these planets and pick up he's gonna try to recruit other characters which is a good idea but bugs want his old team because he misses his friends oh it's like oh it's the animated series one things i know you are not immune to the shill propaganda it will appeal to you if they throw enough stuff at you eventually you'll there he is the real best character i see we get to go and find all of our characters why are you here i'm fully okay with the fact that this is just the looney tunes doing silly things yes this movie's good i like this so far we gonna see his face what if he had a crazy mustache i'm perfectly okay with this movie being a gigantic warner brother oh yeah jerk off fest if this is how it's going then yeah it's if it's a looney tunes movie i'm happy ooh that's a good look on lebron yeah he kind of looks sick yeah baby no okay who's this i didn't know this is warner who is this sylvester is that you buffer and [ __ ] attack who's this movie for it's for me it's for us it's for people who just love awkward [ __ ] we're done no i'll never erase what i saw from my brain is your problem now i turned into a wb property if you love cringe ass [ __ ] this movie is for you i've seen this on twitter oh who is it it's granny people said that this is cringe but oh i just love a good cringe thing what movie do you think yes what do you think lola's gonna be in she's played by zendaya so she's gonna be she's just in euphoria yeah i was gonna say she's probably in like she's just getting addicted to drugs like this is the most speechless i've been so far we just like this movie yeah all you gotta do is give us like something that's corny and we're gonna love it i really expected the tune tunified part of this movie to be really cringe and it is but it's fun it's really a shame that your dad doesn't support you not to be a bummer bro but but sucks that your dad hates you sucks your dad's a piece of [ __ ] and left you to die i really thought this is gonna be terrible i did too for all types of purposes the original space jam is not good this is decent it's really not that bad this movie has only one comedic approach with granny and it's let's see granny do things that old women wouldn't do i gotta give this kid credit oh my god it's not easy to act especially as a kid it's also not easy to act when you're a hundred percent in a green screen room he's not worse than lebron yeah that's true and that's really all you gotta do that's the only level you gotta hit you never said anything about me actually playing in the game look do you want your dad to respect you or not so play some basketball oh no you said that my dad was an [ __ ] for making me play basketball now you're making me play are you making me play basketball my family oh god she's so hot stop i'm sorry i still need my son back outside these lines be as loony as you want but inside you do doc you're kind of a control freak oh i see you're that kind of king i thought that he's like oh you're a piece of [ __ ] bugs is like i am not willing to relinquish control oh god what are they doing to her why her ass first oh no oh they're alive he said oh no they hate it yeah no they're like this this hurts it's like is painful for them it's time for our ready player one shot yeah he does not do these things he wants to watch basketball at least he's not [ __ ] killing things in this one can we agree that gremlins things i know things i know i cannot help the instant euphoria i feel when i see things i know we are consumers dan sumer's first critic second you like this brand don't you consumer wait come watch this basketball game what what what that didn't happen to the pilots did it oh my god thanos no those men need to save lives we did this what happened looks like no it looks like this is hell that would have been a better life i love the idea that the white walkers really just are fully [ __ ] fully fine with watching basketball they look like [ __ ] by the way i greatly prefer the 2d versions oh the goon squad i like that name that's funny you gotta win this game and get our son back she's like i have no idea what the [ __ ] is happening right now but don't lose it perpetuates this this problem that he has his whole life is that everybody is putting so much pressure this is not fun this is work if i was watching this alone i don't think this movie would be very bearable please watch this movie with friends this is not intended to be watching if you watch this alone you will automatically pull out your phone to see certain things what is going on here it's not volleyball no it's don ball you're right it's dom baller with no rules the rule is no rules just right this game would be sick it's like it's like a basketball fighting game i mean it is really cool how are they gonna have a dramatic moment with a free throw though if there are no flags no penalties oh it's like mario hoops three on three you like it thank you help me please what the hell is this a fetish yeah absolutely that was also a fetish i really like seeing lola get wet stop it stop [Music] they killed him pennywise loves basketball yep oh obviously and video games how about street fighter don't just stand there rabbit get the ball to lebron daffy is the perfect man he's just there to be a [ __ ] [ __ ] buckets what if he just like takes it way too seriously it starts getting like really [ __ ] toxic she specifically looks terrible i don't know what it is about her i know i don't know what you're talking about it's like this weird pennywise not penny like this why is he just like being friendly with white walkers why wouldn't he be they're like this because they have nothing in common they have a lot in common they love basketball even the [ __ ] the sex criminals from clockwork orange love basketball so they're invited this is [ __ ] up this is all that roadrunner has roadrunner can't lose this is a rule if i was a kid i'd really like this movie yeah this would be a lot of fun as an adult i still i don't mind it i don't know if this counts as a miracle but i found michael jordan wait it's just going to be a black guy sylvester's a huge racist i want to know what actual cameo this is yeah it's just bill murray again [Laughter] is it michael b jordan oh that would be fun that would be really funny that's actually very funny how could you think he was his anus they look nothing alike it's been 25 years it's the sylvester's racist oh no the your son plays for the other team yeah you're a bad dad whoa whoa tweety whoa yeah well you know what hey it's about time somebody said something because you're not me he understands now his flaw he relinquishes his control okay see now they're finally getting to do wacky looney tunes stuff cause the 11 50 x plus is winning on time they just start killing summons they start using their summons like bugs like throws a [ __ ] crystal into the sky it does like a 10 minute animation oh no oh no we don't need those staffy wearing the super hot fire outfit yeah [Applause] i think it is conceptually funny yeah to give the character with the speech impediment the rap scene yes however it's never funny to have a rap scene [Applause] see they actually much like pennywise the power of belief fuels them so the more you think the looney tunes are funny yeah the more powerful they become here's our gag granny's doing something that old women shouldn't be doing she's going to defeat the most powerful character my issue was i thought they were going to start the matrix yeah she used the deflecting palm technique [Music] oh no she turns it no she made him old no this is something she knows there's a fate worse than death she is the one legitimately good really [ __ ] funny we're putting this out like we were recording this day of release i don't know a soul who's watched this yet no we we woke up early to watch this yeah record it like we were [ __ ] loving i have a chance to look at twitter and then everybody's gonna be like if you like space jam you're a [ __ ] idiot this movie's dog [ __ ] we're just like matrix reference can i just say that zendaya did not need to be lola bunny there's like nothing in this movie that's making me think that honestly yeah that was just to sell it's just to get people zendaya is michi type [ __ ] yeah because you're right because lola she's hot enough already they don't need to get zendaya at a player what if like like in fire like rules or like if you meet another player on the battlefield and you like coerce them to join your team in and out crossover step back shoot that move froze my whole game and that's good because if the game crashes lg won't be able to control it anymore or who i'll die yeah this is a horrible idea guys i remember literally a blue screen of death i'm going to do the step back what no dad you'll be deleted not a video game character i think i'll be okay he said i'm not a video game character i think it'll be okay that's honestly really sound logic bugs bugs has his doubts bugs is gonna do the step back glitch oh my god he knows how to do it is bugs gonna sacrifice himself if bug sacrifices himself i'm gonna absolutely lose my goddamn mind [Music] this is the setup it's the setup bugs accepting his death chance no bugs i'm gonna cry in and out crossover step back [Music] [Laughter] bugs buddy kills himself whoa double jump kind of shitty for bugs to use this exploit for uh alley-oop not just shoot the ball right we did it now i can go back to being a control freak yay oh my god they're fun again but bugs died no no no no no i didn't want to exist please i want to exist too bugs [Laughter] i don't feel so good doc bugs bunny will not return in space channel 3. [Music] would have been a really poor taste if it was rabbit season no when he dies like the last shot is the pay pace the page falling and it says rabbits bugs that's all folks that's awful oh my god [Laughter] [Music] epilogue it's like the end of end game all the [ __ ] warner brothers characters are sitting at bugs's open open casket casket is like it's a bug-shaped casket that goes into a bug shape like a hole in the ground ah that's so sweet what's up doc i live in your heart now in your brain this movie was fan this is the best movie we've watched on cosmonaut picture show yeah we usually watch just absolute garbage yeah this is legitimately enjoyable wait a minute um algae rhythm died you're right warner brothers can't block our video now you're right hell yeah we're free [Music] at the space [Music] [Applause] [Music] is [Music]

Channel: The Cosmonaut Variety Hour

Views: 1,760,714

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Id: bZY_nerCFJ0

Length: 27min 11sec (1631 seconds)

Published: Thu Jul 22 2021