STUPID FACEBOOK POSTS

so today we're gonna be taking a look at the most dumb funny and epic facebook posts keep your eyes peeled for some minion memes and let's get into the video chicken breasts missing all of you it must be a family thing why would you post chicken breasts on facebook literally just the text chicken breasts what does that achieve my wife and i have been to subway three times never got what we ordered and it was never go there again dude you're an idiot you're standing there watching them make it and you didn't get what you wanted and you did it not once but three times even though you hurt me i still find ways to be with you and then just sandra in the comments says i haven't hurt anyone sandra it's a meme it's not directly at you chill i have had food poisoning this is my fifth day i wouldn't wish this on anyone money face emoji she's like getting all sad like i would never wish such pain upon anybody and follows it up with of course the emoji of cash money appropriate what contraception is everyone on i currently only have sex at night when the sperm is asleep just don't want another baby yet starting my hoo-ha in 15 minutes that is so cringe i'm sorry but if america has a spare 870 thousand dollars to display tanks in a parade it can afford to give kids in detention centers soap toothpaste and adequate living conditions you do the crime you do the time oklahoma city thunder thunder takes on wizards in sunday matinee 11 30 a.m on fox sports oklahoma i am an 84 year old female from where do not like basketball plus no nothing about oklahoma thunder have no idea how this is on my site would like it removed anyway good luck to the team thanks i guess facebook need to work on their personalized advertisement day at walmart i told the cashier merry christmas she said happy holidays ma'am i smiled and said you don't have to be afraid anymore president trump gave us christmas back she started crying tears of joy and said merry christmas and then everyone in the store applauded of course they did yeah definitely true story being homeless is a choice being homeless is a choice being homeless is a choice being homeless is a choice being homeless is a choice being homeless is a choice well at least in america i've seen so many people asking for money when in reality they have two working hands and legs you smart you very smart you were genius america before all the sissies took hot over hot wait on the second is this some gta 6 leaked gameplay the bible was written entirely by the greatest american who ever lived jesus is this a joke or it's called history sweetie look it up how about you look up how to spell the word sweetie that might be a good start or maybe they genuinely meant to say sweaty it's called history sweaty look it up good afternoon my beautiful bay hive it's your mama here this is me in my garden drinking beer and giving it the middle fingers to my neighbors who hate beyonce homecoming is playing very loud in the garden i'm not gonna lie i thought the only place you could come across avid beyonce stands was on twitter but clearly i've been misinformed here my sister-in-law died in a fire her bible was beside her bed on a stand not a burn mark on the bible awesome miracle from god when your daughter calls and she's been crying like if she scraped her knee according to your last pose she's ten are you going to shoot her bicycle i think a band-aid would be more useful please post as a non how many boxes of laxatives does it take to self-abort i'm desperate please help wow i asked for this post to be anonymous i don't think it works like that we need a disney princess who open carries ah yeah now you're talking absolutely not we need a uh disney princess that actually falls in love with a man on discord that would be a true love story come on i know you opened my oreos it said family pack go you never ever touch someone's oreos yeah but seriously could uh someone let that sink in out of your age post a picture and tell your true age who's brave enough let's try this growing old is a privilege that not too many have age 57 copy paste play along i'm 57 years wow you young lady thanks mr jim can the admin of this group can stop deleting my post my boyfriend has been trying to sell his lizards and your dumb admin keeps deleting it so i'm gonna keep posting it until they learn that it is worth selling on any site so stop deleting my post or i'll report this group from facebook for good uh yeah facebook won't do anything the group clearly states in a pin post that there'll be no sale of pets on this group too bad i don't care what you say he needs them gone so accept it surgeon required i'm looking for a trainee medic to remove this from my recently departed cousin and stitched the skin onto my shoulder he tried it [Laughter] there is no i in happiness well if you spelled it right there would be you smart you were genius whenever i see a cat with a collar i take it off i do this since childhood the cats are always thankful and if a cat decides to leave you and your household a collar will not hold her back anyways i'm selling air that was captured the moment the toronto raptors won the nba championship two thousand dollars wait hold on a second two thousand dollars for some air what bro toronto raptors history is in this bag the air from the stadium has been captured the moment the raptors won it comes sealed don't want the error to escape i have three more willing to trade what are you gonna trade a bag of air for it's just like you're trading pokemon cards bro microsoft don't trust them people they harvest your data and give it to the nsa open your eyes that's why i don't use their stuff huh you have a pc and you bought your son an xbox one uh my pc is made by dell which uses windows and the games machine is made by xbox neither of them use microsoft i do my research unlike you both windows and xbox are made by microsoft do your research you're blind to the truth i'm out oh thanks i'm addicted to the family tree i was able to follow my direct descendant line back 102 generations all the way to adam and eve i also found my ancestors correlation to jesus boys literally have zero excuse for not having communication skills because i've seen your play group video games and you describe where you're at like it's life or death um well it's a lot easier to say shotgun in the east hallway than it is to say my crippling anxiety is ruining this relationship a vegan woman sued her neighbors for barbecuing in their backyards it's deliberate it's deliberate she said all i can smell is fish i can't enjoy my backyard why can't i get facebook um you're here right now nana if you don't like what you see in the mirror maybe you need to look in a different mirror pinterest it's fire um not pinterested aha funny yeah cause we all got a mate called man deep [Music] happy birthday have an amazing day um what what kind of correlation does this table here have to somebody's birthday i'm confused it's like here you go happy birthday mate have a wooden table enjoy just got a new official tattoo kit hit me up if you need one wow that is truly some incredible artwork right there just sign me up right now i need a tattoo like that their country their rules really ain't none of our business human rights is everybody's business alright so some guy updated his cover photo invite me to your ah look house the top of his head leave a glass of salt water and vinegar to detect negative energies in your home mom that is so fake we'll see about that my boyfriend dumped me because he met another girl online he doesn't know that the other girl is me catfishing him you cannot beat a facebook post that has three-dimensional emojis in the background next up we have this girl who posted some kind of bikini selfie onto her facebook page and her very own uncle decided to say this wow that's my girl remember when you was young cute and light on my lap you can't sit on my lap today honey i wish just kidding come by one day okay so this woman posted in landlords and real estate investors facebook groups saying does anyone else feel like their tenants don't appreciate them we work our asses off every day to provide high quality housing and never once do they give us a tip on our rent do your tenants tip i feel like at least 10 to 15 would be a nice thank you after all we provide a valuable community service excuse me why imagine being that entitled that you expect a tip on rent money next thing you know people are gonna have to be paying a 10 to 15 tip on some xbox live membership every time i see a cop that's got someone pulled over i hope that person either shoots the cop or the cop steps out into traffic and gets scrambled get a real job you piece of well if being a police officer isn't a real job i don't think there's much hope for the rest of us just learned that africa isn't a country it's not no it's not that's crazy so it's a developing country or just a continent i don't know i'll find out later in the semester and let you know i mean dude i get that this post was many many years ago because it was posted from a blackberry however i'm pretty sure he had access to the google search engine back then bro this guy's like oh yeah i'll find out later in the semester mate why don't you just search on google bro save yourself a lot of hassle for sale we have a gaming chair slightly stained pick up only 50 dollars the facebook marketplace never fails to impress walk the three miles that's a 15 minute walk take the bus stop being so self-righteous you must be an olympic athlete if you can walk three miles in 15 minutes it's more like 45 minutes for a fast walk oh wait all woman replies yeah you're slow walkers clearly someone who always overstates the length of everything some bacon right here i post my boyfriend you search him you find him you date him you have sex with him i sneak into your home i find you i hospitalize you you end up in icu i sneak in i switch off the machine you die they cry i laugh they bury you i dig you out i take you home i cook you i feed you to my neighbor's dog they eat you i poison them they also die i burn them case closed simple as that hashtag stolen this is perfectly normal behavior for when someone steals your boyfriend happens all the time no but seriously i find the emojis just make this post so much more sinister like somebody who uses that many emojis probably would do this kind of thing cnn admits sunscreen causes cancer yes yes it does one reason my kiddos never use it plus vitamin d is good boy if and one day when the doctors are stumped and can't help cure your problem then you'll turn to a whole food plant-based diet to cure yourself the raw vegan diet has a 95 success rate for curing cancer the other five percent simply don't want to live eight shares eight other people on planet earth actually decided to share this message wow remember guys if you have cancer all you have to do is become a vegan 95 success rate of curing cancer that's incredible walter white could have literally saved himself so much time and hassle if he'd just become a vegan next up we have a post coming in from edith who looks um pretty old how do you delete someone on facebook from school that you do not like hi edith facebook patrol here to answer your question about deleting someone from facebook that you do not like simply click reply beneath my comments type the at sign and then start writing the person's name that you want to delete their name should appear so click it once you've done their name should come up in blue once you've done that press enter you'll then be given the option whether you want to delete this person for a few days or permanently thanks edith let me know if you have any other questions facebook patrol and then edith actually listens to this troll and tags dorothy adams hi edith how are the kids uh does someone want to tell her i think i look like howl from howl's moving castle on the second is this the exact same person i can't spot the difference here what am i looking at it's the same image on both sides dogs can't talk so do they have brains i mean i know they walk but it's only because we're telling them to walk hashtag i don't know yeah this dude definitely got good grades in science class i mean asking the facebook timeline if dogs have brains yeah i'm not sure about that one dude for all the climate change activists who don't actually understand how these things work okay so iceberg ocean iceberg melts ocean level remains the same um wait what this right here has proved once and for all that climate change is in fact the hoax there is no such thing as global sea levels rising and um it's clearly been proven by this genius imagery right here uh rather accurate representation of the ocean i must say you've heard of elf on the shelf now get ready for zuck on the truck do you mean information stealer on a 18-wheeler privacy crime on optimus prime poor guy i mean he creates this very platform and then has people saying this about him zuck okay guys prepare yourself because we're about to dive deep into the harry potter fans facebook group and um it's a dangerous place i'm a potter girl in a potter world we have fanfics and it's fantastic boys with ginger hair muggles everywhere transfiguration life is your creation come on dobby let's go party yeah come on darby let's go party i i can't do this guys wake up eat poop school eat school poop running work work work eat poop sleep my next four days seriously dude commerce i read that as you wake up and eat poop i'll wait yes don't leave this guy posts in jurassic park facebook group saying this should catch a few eyes dinosaur diagnosed with cancer for the first time researchers say diagnosis is kind of late i'd say okay james that moment when a song you wrote yourself puts you in tears [Music] believe it or not this is actually drake's producer right now i take a wild guess that he's listening to god's plan for the first time very emotional song go delete her boy okay boy delete him go but he's my friend i can delete him if you want dude's just casually called coronavirus on facebook nice name like my status if you think i'm hot um zero likes that's a bit awkward mom you didn't have your seatbelt on i now declare that you owe us money if you don't pay this money i claim the right to kidnap you if you object to being kidnapped i claim the right to kill you do i make myself clear someone's bitter over a ticket i can't believe i drank all of this at brett's house party last night was a great night pay for it now with this hangover watch out we have a badass over here is he for real wouldn't brag about it dude considering that's me eddie and brian's empty beer cans we gave you a mike's lemonade which you sipped on all night and you acted like you were wasted then told us all you are allergic to beer why even post this obvious lie when you have all of us on facebook come on man someone left their sleeping baby in a stroller next to me so i've decided to pretend like it's mine so i'm like trying to move my table closer to it so people might think it is today i'm a mother you have no idea how this makes me feel i'm actually so terrified right now the way she's staring at that baby is not okay some was in my eyes lol but my new favorite picture wait if the sun was in your eyes then why is your shadow in front of you you see your shadow when it's sunny outside dumbass stay in school if the sun was in front of you your shadow would be behind you spy flowers my neighbor has this flower peeking into my backyard i couldn't get close enough to see if there's a camera hidden inside is this even legal no no no no oh yeah i'm sure the fbi have something to do with that flower it's definitely giving off a 1080p hd live stream of your back garden sweetheart of course i swear when i dress up girls get wet and ovaries explode i walked into a restaurant today and all the women stared and their jaws dropped and i was so uncomfortable i was just like oh um i'm not here i'm not here i'm scared i'm scared to dress up now okay okay okay okay is this this looks like a gucci outfit let's be real are you and why are you posting on katie's wall uh what this is her man and i'm not going to ask again why are you posting on her wall i wrote happy birthday but i send birthday wishes to everyone on my list you should try it never know who needs a boost they might be stuck with some miserable possessive ass she doesn't need your wishes unfriend her immediately or there will be consequences you're a pathetic big boy by the way i could take you easy yeah balls deep that's right you heard it here first kids don't ever post happy birthday on a female's wall if they are in a relationship because that is against the law that is disrespectful and quite frankly cheating to all of chad's friends this is his father my son carelessly left his account logged in so i decided to snoop around upon reading my son's personal information i would like to clear a few things up my son is not a player he will not beat a hose ass and he will most certainly not roll a fatty with his boys so for all those who believe he is some badass player think again he is chris brown a 15 year old kid that was afraid of the dark until he was 12 and cried at the end of marley and me just a warning if you're ordering from tandoori mahal in kambi you might get a chicken's head what is this what what is this for what why and if you thought this first part of the post was utterly horrendous um just you wait until you see the comments oh my god does your dad still do delivery runs for this place no he got psyched for talking to underage girls kiss oh really okay was just wondering thanks for clearing that up how did this happen it's a good thing halloween didn't fall on the 13th this year because that would be really scary excuse me why okay so pixie lot posts onto her facebook saying still waiting for the easter bunny and she's attached this image to the post and then this dude who's a top fan called tommy decides to send this image in the comments [Laughter] okay i'm not quite sure that was the easter bunny she's looking for me if your mom has facebook set this as your status and if she doesn't reply in 45 minutes she owes you 1 000 and a pizza no tagging allowed uh my mom is dead so if she replied to anything that would be awesome be grateful i am grateful for my mom the real donald trump has been kidnapped and replaced with a copy that is identical in every way except this one is a globe believer we want the real donald trump back we want america's first flat president we are finally ready world we live in today where men dress like that that's christina aguilera i love how it's netflix that reply to this dude like it's not even some random facebook mom it's literally netflix can we get a rip in the chat please you're in therapy drink your own urine for healthy healing hydration oh god here we go again how to use urine for asthma carefully insert it into your inhaler or pee into a rag and breathe through that when you have an attack pour into a shallow dish let evaporate and crystallize and snort the crystals [Laughter] [Music] yo could somebody get this guy some urine crystals he's uh having a bit of an issue here with the ass mug just get him some urine crystals he'll be fine teachers are already overpaid i say lower teachers wages i mean maybe they should lower the wages of the teachers this person had because honestly they must have had a very poor education judging by the spelling in this sentence is it just me or does nobody have manners these days i just have a normal house i'm the type that will stab my boyfriend up and sit in the emergency room with him all night and take care of his ass when he gets released mcdonald's is apparently serving human meat not only human but specifically children bones found to be small childlike bones it says 90 percent of meat tested contains human remains where are the nearly 1 million children that go missing a year hashtag link below oh thanks for the link down below jennifer i'll definitely go and check that out i'm sure mcdonald's are selling human children bones yes definitely this explains all the child disappearances over the years all this time investigators have been trying to find madeline mccann when um in reality she was probably consumed as a large chicken legend meal about eight years ago i'm bored i'm chalk we should get together bored like i don't have anything to do not bored like a chalkboard learn to spell check oh god i hope you don't breed is it ever okay to steal someone else's baby name my friend stole my baby's name but i ended up stealing her husband so who's the real winner in the end sandra these are three months apart what the frick i went from i'll leave her home by nine two your daughter calls me daddy too imagine carrying a child for nine months investing so much time and energy into them and then when they grow up they decide to call this kid daddy [Music] happy 2019th birthday to the oldest and greatest country you're not just wrong you're stupid new hampshire students will now receive free tampons and pads in school rest streams i am sorry i'm just going to go ahead and say this picture offends me really is there no decency today can we not as adults deal with things in a more appropriate way and no my head is not in the sand i just believe some things are done in private sheesh just grow up just ban guns entirely and bring back swords let's see who the real men are yes real men diamond swords let's go ah yes a time where honor exists and heads are on pikes and a world where the elderly injured and ladies being unable to defend themselves against a 300 pound assailant but the average man has to study swordsmanship and hide their sword from the king's men in order to have a chance of surviving attack and where governments and kings have their swordsman's boots on the neck of the peasants i fantasize about that all the time god damn homie they said bring back swords not the whole medieval times so i learned a 125 lesson today that i'd love to share if you park your car in a handicapped spot even though it's pouring down rain and it's directly in front of your house they will tow you you're welcome i don't think anyone else was under the impression that if it's raining heavily like you could just park wherever you want and you're not going to get a ticket no definitely 125 advice right there guys super enlightening 90s kids were asked to do simple things to save earth gen z is thinking bigger excuse me global warming is preventable if the kids would only play outside instead of sitting indoors every day burning up electricity from fossil fuels to power their iphones tablets computers tvs etc how much carbon are these spoiled kids contributing there should be a spoiled lazy kid tax robots struck and killed by self-driving tesla in las vegas at ces we were so worried about the robots waging war on us we didn't even consider them waging war on each other ah they are more human than previously thought deep i really hate being out of cigs come on child support well that's one way to use your child support money thanks everyone he enjoyed being naruto for a day why would he enjoy being a weeaboo i'm gonna kick your son in the ribs why is this guy so bad i didn't expect anything less from a dude called bolt man on facebook to be fair it's probably just like some 65 year old guy living in the back of a truck i have nice hair flat too much and i need to learn how to log out of library computers so people don't post statuses for me posted five hours ago via mobile uh are you sure you didn't post this yourself via mobile nice library computer busted detectives on the case hi mike please let us know how we can help you is anyone available to chat i'm interested can you tell me more can i book an appointment what services do you offer choose one of the four delete delete mistake ran the 5k in 10 minutes training is going good uh the world record is 12 minutes yeah uh rob i highly doubt you ran 5k in 10 minutes mate i mean he hasn't even got any likes on his post imagine breaking a world record and getting zero likes hi cutie oh my gosh i feel so sick i need to sleep i'm sorry have sweet dreams i'm in so much pain uh monika this is a comment fred on an adventure time video hey hey what's your name are you kidding me seriously though imagine messaging somebody on facebook and me like what's your name that's pretty much the one source of information you're guaranteed when you're messaging somebody on facebook dude marriage is a relationship in which one is always right and the other is the husband hello this is a great meme my husband always says yeah honey you're always right even when i buy the wrong type of salami at the store what he doesn't know is that i buy the wrong salami on purpose because he can't yell at me or i will call 9-1-1 oh i'm done disclaimer this is not okay what could this possibly be what has outraged this person oh my god remove the word brown from the dictionary right now this is just so offensive all right so somebody posted this image onto their facebook wall someone is lying and um oh god what is this image i don't believe in dinosaurs anyway what a joke yeah guys this image right here has just successfully exposed the fact that dinosaurs are a complete myth don't believe what you're being told kids facebook knows the truth pride faults but how is it right the world is one big massive place right but every country has different times and dates literally i don't understand how it's all different times than that how does that work the sun's at different places of the world different times sun can't be everywhere same time so we have different times to suit daylight oh my god that's absolutely mental how does the world know which way the sun's gonna go you smart you were genius pork is the worst thing you can eat the cow and pig are not even natural animals tell me where in nature can you find a cow if i wanted to see a gorilla i'd go to the jungle if i wanted to see a polar bear i'd go to the arctic where in nature is a cow a farm is man-made and cows and pigs are hybridized animals a pig is crossbred between a muskrat bobcat and hyena so you're eating a muskrat just let that sink in this is the worst thing i've ever read apple announces its first new ipod in four years good because i refuse to buy my 17 year old a cell phone i'll get him one of these and he could text me when he's on wifi and can order an uber to take him home from school 17 her that kid must be counting down the days until his next birthday once he's 18 he's not my problem anymore you won't be his either next up we have a pretty funny post that was uh in the urine therapy facebook group yes urine therapy i've been doing urine drops in my eyes and holding a glass of urine over my eyes for short durations throughout the day my eyes are getting red and discharging large amounts of pus i was wondering if anyone else went through this that is called detox keep doing it with fresh urine and the redness and discharge will stop heck yeah dudes i gotta try this out just randomly pouring urine into my own eyes oh so healthy man does anyone know how to get a seized lug nut off i've tried every tool including an axe okay okay okay okay since when was using an axe a good idea this isn't minecraft hunger games bro how could you possibly come up with the idea of using an axe on something that requires precision i just don't understand it washington low-income housing alliance people making 11.50 an hour need to work 75 hours a week to afford a one-bedroom apartment then work 75 hours a week what's the problem my husband does it they can too but they don't want to work they just want freebies hi my name is paul i am new to the single scene i'm looking for a discreet relationship that what are you doing my boyfriend dared me to put a ping-pong ball or two up my diner and i did and now i can't get it out and like help update nothing worked like trying to scoop it out and push it up more squatting and coughing and sneezing i nearly pissed myself so i literally took a dump and it came out alcohol and ping pong balls what's the is wrong with some of you like seriously what if 420 was on friday to 13. dude son dad i'm gay dad i love you no matter what son i also think the earth is flat dad get the out of my house yo are you good bro i still haven't came out of the flat earth closets my parents had a lady who measured her baby's temperature by preheating the oven and putting one hand in front of it while the other hand was on the baby's forehead she told the nurse her baby's fever was about 250 degrees does every religion celebrate thanksgiving lol sorry i'm dumb xd proud mommy moment she used the correct use of there and she only in second grade i know 30 year olds they can't do that is somebody going to tell her or am i going to have to tell her bro that's not the correct there honey i'm sorry they told you the moon is a solid object but it disappears every month the moon you see is a holographic projection and not i repeat is not a solid object we live inside a giant planetarium should i grow a beard for the rest of the year no no because you can't spell it i'm not particularly proud of this but i feel like i need to tell everyone you see that tiny pickle in the upper left-hand side i spent a good 30 seconds trying to fish that dude out before i realized that pickle is actually my pinky underneath the jar okay okay okay honestly if the cost of video game consoles goes up good i want all poor kids to play outside like they should be clothing goes up poor people should learn how to sew their own clothing it's not hard i'll even donate my snot rags i'd give anything to see poor kids in mines or factories or working in a grocery store i make 40k a year driving a truck my job ain't going anywhere also if you play video games past the age of 9 you are immature read a good book about eggs or something instead nothing says growing up into a responsible adult like reading a book dedicated to eggs that's when you know you're a big boy unpopular opinion voting should be restricted to adult landowners with families and not to anyone who turns 18. all the people in the world are of the same age this year it's amazing this year all the people in the world are all in the same age group all equal to 2019. this year is special it happens only once every 1000 years this year your age plus your year of birth each individual is equal to 2019 for example you were 55 years old and you were born in 1964 which adds up to 2019 very strange even the chinese and foreign masters cannot explain please calculate and see if the answer is 2019. step aside fellas we got a genius incoming mine are my kids birthdays 61 plus 1958 equals 2019 39 plus 1980 equals 2019 37 plus 1982 equals 2019. strange hmm say his name you won't be laughing when he kills you the peepee poopoo man t you'll have to explain this one to me love ya granny how could you even possibly explain to your grandma what the peepee poopoo man is they don't even get me started on this image what even is going on here why would you post this on your facebook timeline the bee is declared the most important living being on the planet this is a silly thing to say people are the most important living thing upon the earth reason we are the only creature to whom god made a living soul bees perform a good work but so does all of god's creatures most notably us we are so important that he would give his son to die for us so we could be with him in eternity this guy updates their facebook to say that they are born on december 12 1995 then replies to himself not true you're the one who put that there mate my son and i were talking and he said to me one of his buddies in his class doesn't believe in flat earth or gods i told my son to invite his buddy over for dinner or a saturday of dirt biking and four-wheeler riding when his buddy comes over i'm going to have a discussion with him even though he's only nine years old i'm going to share with him cosmological ontological and moral arguments with him i'm literally going to debate a nine-year-old and before he leaves he'll believe in flat earth and god this is definitely the first time anyone on planet earth has ever used dirt bike riding as a means to make a nine-year-old believe in a flat earth and god if riding a dirt bike can't make you believe in flat earth then i don't know what will you're lost brock turner updated his profile picture that is not your best pick honey just being honest get rid of it it's horrible you could take a much nicer pick mom yes you know i think if there's one person you have to rely on in life to give you support and tell you that your selfies are cute it would be your mum but it's due to mums on facebook like no son you look disgraceful delete this it hurts i don't get it if the lottery in america is 900 million dollars and 300 million people live there why don't they just give everybody three million dollars um just wondering did you ever go to maths class you could only give everybody three dollars not three million uh no there's 300 million people and 900 million dollars that's three times as many million as there is people that's three million dollars each yeah um this is why you didn't get into uni someone is clearly lying here you believe nasa over your own eyes mars reality nasa cgi summit should get me a diving board because i'm drowning in the girls if you text me one more time i will report you for harassment another reason why the moon change in different angles flat earth proof my daughter's name is autumn we liked autumn but wanted it to be easier for her to spell when she learns to write her name oh yeah she'll definitely be thanking you for that later on in life i think it's pretty gross people breastfeed it's not milk it's body fluids might as well feed your little one your pee we have bottles and formula that's meant to feed your baby stop giving your body fluid a classy name by calling it milk it's not milk milk comes from cows it's almost like saying almonds make milk idiots everywhere idiots are everywhere huh you make a good point fence alert i tell my sons to write their spelling words and my 10 year old said it's too hard and he don't want to do it i felt like i'm failing at this homeschooling stuff felling uh what is failing seriously failing felt what oh my god imagine being homeschooled by this parent they're saying felling instead of failing these kids are doomed when your neighbor decides to mow in the middle of the day thanks for waking my kid up who needs a nap and now won't go back to sleep yeah there's nothing worse than when somebody's outside mowing their lawn at a perfectly socially acceptable time i'd understand if they were complaining about this guy mowing the lawn at 3am or something but at midday come on i hate when people say brandy is newborn she was in my womb for nine months which means she's nine months old and will be a year old in three months shaking my head i think i know my own kid considering i was the one that grew her sperm in me be the first person to like this um no i'd rather not if there was ever a facebook post that deserves zero likes this would be it racist noun someone who wins an argument against a liberal ah not gonna lie i'm racist in fact i'm the biggest racist i know hashtag i do kinda win a lot today did not go as planned we were packing to leave for my in-laws when my son found his way into my husband's meds spent six hours in the er for observation and now we've been in the car 3.5 hours already with two hours still to go when days like today happen i'm so thankful for my nutrition dense shake it's an easy grab-and-go lunch or snack that provides a full serving of my daily nutrients it helps with stress and curbs my sweet tooth it's my favorite go-to treat every day what is your favorite go-to nutritious snack yeah this mother is definitely one of those girls on instagram who has influencer in their bio even though they have like 25 followers oh my god shout out to my 36 followers don't forget to use the code fainted when buying g fuel except in their case they'd probably be promoting flat tummy tea or some other rubbish like that just lost custody of my kids summer is about to be freaking lit oh man those emojis are just the icing on the cake just got done eating at the fancy schmancy place i had to use the restroom while i was there and they had a water fountain right next to the toilet ever seen that before but i went on and got me a little swig of it the only bad thing was that they had it so low that you had to go get down on your knees to drink from it but it was still pretty cool he tried it uh don't think that was a drinking fountain clyde vice.com i have a severe phobia of ugly people i never knew this was an actual phobia now i know why i always feel sick when i leave my condo she bumped my leg and didn't say excuse me so when i brought it to her attention she said your leg shouldn't have been in the way well since you want to be petty i'ma be petty okay okay okay i love how she thinks being petty is tying someone's hair to a railing like what that is going sicko mode not being petty oh yeah someone just bumped your leg and didn't say excuse me time to end their existence sadly today i got the bad news that my cancer has returned and there's no treatment that will help me it's time for me to enjoy what time i have left on this planet plant-based diet give it a try seriously what's up with people on facebook and cancer treatments they say the treatment to cancer is being hidden away at area 51 but i beg to differ it's actually being hidden away in the mind of 35 year old facebook mom judy posting minion memes by day curing cancer by night i got braces and they're blue i bet you look nice and your teeth will look so good when you're done with them graham um they don't feel that good chill grant i'll never understand social media why would you want to let hundreds of people know your business most of which you hardly know it's pathetic just people craving attention i guess well losers two days earlier the same person posted this how has my relationship become such a mess is it my fault i don't think so i've done nothing but be good to you but in return i get this over and over no matter what i do it just makes complete sense doesn't it one minute she's saying that anybody who posts about their business onto facebook as a loser the next minute she's posting about her boyfriend issues okay so we got a post in yard sale how to block someone denied go to the person's profile on the top right you will see three dots tap that and then press block yeah i'm not sure if dude was asking for a tutorial on how to play basketball but you never know i think titanic is fake because how do they record it when they are like all dying in the water um it's a remake of what actually happened isn't it wait so the people in the movie aren't alive hold on what newsflash kid movies aren't real like the avengers don't actually exist pal i'm sorry to break it to you my sister's boyfriend wants to fight because i brought this girl well now you smashed your sister's boyfriend's girlfriend hold on a minute no wonder he wants to fight where to buy chicken casserole supplies dad this is facebook not google try again where to buy chicken casserole supplies dad no where to buy supplies for chicken casserole what the are you serious this bloke's dad really thinks that facebook is the google search engine i'm done parents and facebook just aren't a good mix let's be honest hi i'm nikki nice to meet you hi i have a lost pug last seen around 7pm between blank any leads would be greatly appreciated posted in general to 41 neighborhoods i'm good with my hands hypocrites are dumb and they then when they do it it's supposed to be okay love it um i think you might have confused hypocrites with hypocrites seriously what is a hypocrite i'm scared the government will find and kill me but i need to come clean i worked for nasa as a cgi expert trust me the earth is flat i was stationed on the sun for 11 years and took lots of pictures of the flat earth i will post them once i find a safe place to develop the film there's nothing more honorable than being stationed on the sun by nasa i've heard it's nice and hot up there bro face down in the driveway thinking about steve jobs no one can legally stop me from doing this what i mean congratulations nobody can stop you from legally lying down on your drive that is just revolutionary like if you think i'm ugly comment if you think i'm pretty 32 people like this that's kind of sad i didn't know it was so disrespectful to go in love with my boyfriend but fine for my dad to sleep with my sister what exactly your dad slept with your sister yep my mom hated it it's gross getting ready for my shift and wake up to this she keyed my boots because i don't have a car what the is my life right now she keep my lamborghinis my chevrolets okay okay okay okay i mean all respect for this guy went out the window when he called his shoes lamborfities i'm not gonna i feel pretty bad for the dude i mean he hasn't even got a car so his girlfriend's like what else can i terrorize if i can't key his car let's just key his timberlands did you know that you can bite off your finger as easily as you can bite a carrot but your brain is like no don't eat your finger so that's why you can't wow thanks for that knowledge dude top fact right there kids if you've ever thought about biting your own finger off whatever random reason just know it's because your brain's telling you that you can't what a surprise being bad guys i'm about to bite my fingers off and feeling kind of hungry okay so next up somebody sent in a post to atheist vs christians debate central oh no this should be interesting i've been dating this guy but he has a cat that he's had for a few years and personally i think he's way too attached to it and affectionate about it sometimes he'll get home and sees his cat and goes there's my girl and pet her when i'm like right there in the same room this just seems like way too much attention for a grown man to be lavishing on a cat of all things do you think i could suggest you get rid of it take a second breathe then think you're jealous of a cat and she thinks he's the one with a problem first of all why is this girl jealous of a cat secondly why is this being posted in an atheist versus christian's debate central facebook page yeah my cat just stole my boyfriend uh do you mind if i post that in the atheist versus christians debate central next up this dude is selling a vintage ice cream scooper very good condition i was cleaning out the garage and found this antique ice cream scooper needs to be cleaned firstly how is this antique and secondly 18 are you out of your mind i don't approve of tattoos mainly it is written in the christian bible not to mark your body i love you dwight but this is the only thing i do not approve of it is your choice of course loving the rock it also says not to pierce your ears or get a divorce but one click on your profile shows you obviously pick and choose which parts of the bible fit your agenda so why am i yet to be married sad face don't be sad how can you have the facebook name lolosaurus rex and expect to be married it's just not gonna happen wow chuck norris went skydiving and his parachute failed to open so he took it back the next day for a refund oh my god how the heck is he alive assault rifle 999 dollars wow seems a fair price oh oh wait it's literally as a rifle of salt milk six dollars fresh cat milk for sale i just milked them this morning a little bitter because there were strays but not bad with cereal six dollars per court prices firm as it's good quality milk oh there's that that's hot does anyone know everson's phone number please bm me thanks sorry for the missing spelling ll yes it's 867 5309 sorry that's not it she got the shock of her life after checking her bank when finishing work women accidentally gets 27 million pounds put into bank account well could have had the money and claimed she bought a banana taped to a wolf for that amount i oh yeah it wasn't like a piece of art that was really expensive dave injured his manhood by mating repeatedly with dora frida and edith sex crave dave the duck has peepee removed after trying to make ten times he approaches his victims like [Music] you're allowed to spray a man with raid if he's under 5 foot 11. does this mean we can use elephant rifles on girls more than 200 pounds my sister passed away last night prayers please for my family wow what a great choice of background image to accommodate a post on facebook telling everybody that somebody in your family has died three-dimensional emoji poop oh yeah to everybody who eats mcdonald's y'all are eating human bodies from aged 18 and under do your research it's friday screw the gym i'm getting pregnant uh pringles i meant pringles oh here we go what a lovely picture this is hate to say this but i almost think we need another 9 11. too many people have forgotten the first one it's coming but i think along with it will bring civil war i think we need another one of those also i remember when it was actually enjoyable to have a child lol between the ages of 16 and up i think it should be legal for us to punch our kids in the face lol they're the worst people in the world can't lie i miss daddy and then her dad says i miss you too baby love you and her boyfriend says um i think she's talking about me mr russell that's gonna be awkward at the next family gathering november 2nd i am thankful for minions of course i had to make sure to get this one in there how could you not be as i lay here sick in bed what can cheer me up the most minions my favorite color is yellow second favorite is blue it is just fitting i'm practically a minion myself these little guys are just the cutest okay okay okay let's see my teenage daughter shoot the ar for the first time today teach him young and teach him right oh no no no no yeah that's a pretty good place to practice your shooting i guess what could possibly go wrong here firing bullets at head height into your next-door neighbor's wooden fence ah great idea daniella left job at full-time mummy march 8 2016 single mom kid died lol so the mother of my daughter won't let me see my child what are creative ways to frame her definitely ask a group on facebook that has over 200k members today in math class i had the urge to fart i had the bright idea that if i dropped my textbook and farted at the same time nobody would hear it i dropped my textbook everyone looked at me then i farted loudly ping 398 ms okay so we've got a post here from brianne on october 13th 2013. so sick of walmart employees having the worst attitude towards customers it's not my fault walmart is the only place that would hire you and then if we fast forward to april 2016 brienne started a new job at walmart so had it was fine putting your phone in the microwave to charge it my charger broke yesterday my battery was pretty low so i thought i'd give it a go this happened this woman breathes for the first time with new lungs jennifer has an incredible new start to life isn't this great guys like yeah awesome oh wait this is why my organs will be buried with me science and medicine has gone too far oh yeah that's definitely an lol moment right there bro yeah my child just died lol this is a suitable punishment for my 14 year old daughter she used my fabric scissors to cut tortilla wraps death okay judy i need you to settle down let's try not to raise your blood pressure levels too high because we don't you ending up in the hospital again first up karen posted this into flat of society.org so this today at my kids school this is just outrageous if this is what they are teaching my kids i'm gonna start homeschooling them instead feeling angry [Applause] imagine being a grown adult and getting genuinely outraged at the fact that there is a globe of planet earth in a school boy if you don't get i'd go private message me saying i post too much and that i'm ugly so i did a little digging she's in this group found out she works at a spa a few hours away blocked it so she couldn't see this and i made an appointment and asked for her specifically needless to say she will be waxing my butthole tomorrow hashtag no wipe tuesday call me ugly while you wax that ass today in math class i had the urge to fart i had the bright idea that if i dropped my textbook and farted at the same time nobody would hear it i dropped my textbook everyone looked at me then i farted loudly ping 398 ms daddy will be home very soon kitten when you miss your girlfriend so much you go crazy but you cut her hair and kept some so she's never really gone [Music] oh my god when your stepsister accidentally touches your leg it's country time nothing wrong in smashing with your stepsis lol no blood relations so it not incest if down my eight-year-old neighbor saw my new keychain and said is that your boyfriend no no that's what you get for buying an obama keychain whoa the spitting image of obama right here yes that is barack obama what can't a man wear his fancy hats and play wii u without a web camera taking his photo look at this dude my phone my photos by your own phone and just scribbles out every single one of his mates in this picture wow well you know it could actually be even worse if these people are like his family his distant relatives and he's like no sorry guys you're not making it onto my facebook can anyone tell me what type of eggs can i get my little boy if he is lactose and tolerant you know man it's a really big struggle when you have a child that is lactose and tolerant all dairy products are off limits if god asked me to kill my child i would because i trust him wow why am i not surprised that this has 539 comments gains at the gym feeling determined okay okay what are you doing shut the my workout and this guy's it for the video hope you enjoyed click on the screen to check out more and um brofist

Channel: Fainted

Views: 440,638

Keywords: memes, facebook, posts, meme, stupid facebook posts, facebook memes, facebook fails, facebook posts, dumb facebook posts, dumbest facebook posts, dumbest facebook posts ever, facebook fail, funny, funny posts, funny facebook, fainted

Id: 0F8LTPUOZoo

Length: 58min 12sec (3492 seconds)

Published: Tue Feb 15 2022