Stop being his MOM!

hey hey tony gaston here popping in for another episode of talks with tony give him one second now put this light where it's supposed to be now let me talk to you now and i want to tell you something and this something i share with a lot of my clients and and this is something that a lot of women suffer with and it's it's hurting us and that's why i'm talking about it because it's hurting us it's killing our relationships it's killing our ability to build healthy relationships in sound and stable homes and when you look at it as a woman you are a nurturer your body produces milk to provide for your child so you are hard wired to nurture and to care for and to give and to love and to sacrifice for other human beings but you have to turn that off when it comes to dealing with a grown man who is set on being a grown boy so what so many men today are looking for men are not grown boys today are not looking for wives they are looking for mothers that they can sleep with [Music] sit with it are you his mama that he's sleeping with because see what does a mama do a mom she loves she nurtures she forgives she forgets he could do whatever he want to do she may yell at him she may curse at them she may ground them for a couple weeks but she never walks away from them she never leaves them she bails them out of jail he go back to jail she bail him out again she make excuses for him she want everybody to be at his disposal she want the girlfriend that he with to be used by him and whatever gonna make her son feel good whatever's gonna comfort her son whatever is gonna pacify her son that's what the typical mother does not all mother's not not all mother but a typical mother that's what they do and no matter how strong a woman is she always gonna see the best in her son as strong as my wife feels and when i talk to y'all as strong as she is and i tell y'all how she whipped me in the shape i have to get with her a lot of times and say listen your son's sucking it up on the soccer field he's not doing what he's supposed to do and she'll be making excuses for him she'll be you let her tell it he the best thing that didn't touch the soccer ball but and i realized as a man on the outside looking in like wow you you looking at this as mom's you looking through this through mom eyes i'm able to look at this like a scout like a coach this is what he need to work on and now she'll deep down know the truth but mothers can never really bring themselves to tell the truth about their children your child is baby kids den is the menace at that school house and you go down to the school house and you cuss the teacher for your sorry child for your ill-advised bad behind classroom disrupting child will cut the teacher the teacher will get cussed out the principal will get cussed out we will take the child out of the school out of the c school and put the child in an f school just to give that teacher and them principals our butt the kiss for our child instead of getting with our child and uh you take all this here example and i draw the parallel with women today in relationships draw the parallel high men and women you know if not if it's not yourself how many women you know pacifying a man anything he want to do he want to be a dead entrepreneur okay that's just a man he want to go to strip club you know what men do he wanted a gown but he just being a man he want to cuss you out oh he just got mad oh he's just being a man oh he had a rough life or his daddy left for him or his mama was on drugs oh this old dad oh this and pacifying them pacifying this man listen he won't grow you won't grow your children won't grow all of y'all uh remain young and dumb as long as you pacifying this man as long as you as his mama but sleeping with him you're in an ancestral relationship because you his mama that he could sleep with see what you have to understand is that there is a difference between a mother and a wife see a mother has unconditional love a wife has conditional love because you're in a relationship when you talk about corinthians 13 what's describing god's love for us and what's describing our love for human for mankind we talking about a relationship a relationship has conditions cheating is not allowed abuse is not allowed cursing you out is not allowed dogging you out is not allowed emotional cheating is not allowed verbal emotional physical none of that is allowed a relationship has conditions so if this person this man you with is not living up to the standards of the relationship you have to be willing to go and if you keep ignoring the treatment that you're getting and you keep coming back and coming back and coming back that is all you will ever be is a floor mat that's all you'll ever be is a floor mat and what is going to happen is this man is going to walk all over you he gonna stomp on you like you is a piece of trash he gonna treat you like dirt beneath his feet and then while he's cheating on you because you keep taking back a cheating man while he's cheating on you he's going to meet a shari gaskins now she's not going to know that he got you under his feet because he's a liar and he's a cheater and she finna whip him into shape this woman here that's not going to play no game that's not going to put up with no mess she fitting to whip his butt into shape and guess what your five years that you have been spat on your seven years your 10 years your 20 years is down the drain it ain't fun to mean nothing to him he finna leave you he's gonna drop you like a bad habit and go to this woman that will hold him accountable that will force him to become a man because deep down every male wants to become a man but if you won't hold a man accountable he will be a grown boy that's the sad state of the world it's due to our sins the nature of us as humans we put ourselves in this position through our bad choices and although it should not be like that it's a whole lot in the world going on that should not be that way so while as a woman you don't want the responsibility of holding a man accountable i understand that but life ain't fair that's why you bleed five to seven days a month and don't die life ain't fair that's why you have contractions and you scream in the top of your lungs when it's time to give birth life ain't fair you see what i'm saying so it's so men and women that always talk i'm not going to be doing it yes she is if you fit to be in a relationship you're going to have a man that's going to try you no if ends and bless about it you got to accept reality and look at the reality of your life you going to get tried you going to get tested well a man of god is not going to listen satan was an angel do you hear me how many men of god in the holy bible that you have seen that fell short of god that fell short of the glory of god look at what what was david call what was david call google what david was google what david was what would david call now [Music] uh what did man was called now why did god call david a man after my own heart the lord still called him a man after his own heart because david longed and pursued justice and mercy for god's people he longed to do works that were pleasing to god even when his life was at risk he showed many times that he loved and desired truth and integrity more than his own life david will call a man after god's own heart [Music] now [Music] now what was this here now [Music] nathan you know who nathan was that's the son born to david at bathsheba you know who bathsheba was [Music] bathsheba okay later became one of the wives of king david and the mother of king solomon bathsheba was a daughter of eliam it was pop and probably of noble birth now listen bathsheba was the wife of uriah the hittite and later of david according to the hebrew bible she is most known for the biblical narrative in which she was summoned by king david who had seen her bathing and lusted after her she was the mother of solomon who succeeded david as king making her the queen mother now listen to me this this is a man after god's own heart saw a woman bathing but bonky called for took into his bosom had a husband put on the front line to be killed this the man after god's own heart now so now listen to me guess what this man did not have unmatched.com did not have noharmony.com did not have unhinged.com did not have offender.com did not have dumbo.com did not have onhub.com did not have only idiots.com did not have all of the websites did not have facebook did not have instagram they did not have half of the temptation that the men today have and women still walking around hollering by a man of god a man of god not gonna try you a man of god not gonna test you a man of god not gonna need any accountability a man of god is going to be perfect a man of god is never going to cheat a man of god is never going to lie where where have you seen that at you see what i'm saying listen what lord telling me is listen tony you got to pull them gloves off you been around here with these little kitty mitts on been around here just saying a little softly what people want to hear it's time to get real it's time to get real that's why i had to go to jamaica for a week my wife was over there twerking on had us a good time we could do that because we married the bed is not defiled and my business partner having some concerts i was online y'all forgiven for those y'all who's i'm alive and when i'm i was just trying to support jamaican artists and getting them some people in america to download their music but they trying to make it out now listen to me now i had to go over to jamaica for seven nights to come back to realize time to get a reckoning with the truth it's time to get a reckoning with the truth if you want to grow if you want to change if your life if you want your life to be different you got to stop settling you have got to stop selling you got to stop being the mom he want to sleep with [Music] what they used to call they all like the milk but they change that k to a f le nasty word on cuss but that's exactly what women be coming today in a different way becoming the mother that he's sleeping with a lot of grown boys is not looking for a wife because you know what a wife do a wife willing to leave a wife gonna hold accountable and a wife gonna give him her bite walking out that door if he can't do right but you know what a mama gonna do come on back like the prodigal uh come on back in here come on back in here i know you don't win out they'll spend all your money and sold your wild oats but don't worry about it these dogs is open to you come on bike in here and we finna kill the fattest calf and we finna get you a brand new ring and we finna get you a new cloak and we finna throw a huge party for the whole neighborhood for you i'm glad you back son that's what so many women today is doing for a man this is a grown musty man he's smelling himself you could smell him he only like the babies somebody over and sees asking what is base bathed b-a-t-h-e i just say bays he don't even like the bays this man ain't seen no running water for the last three days he in the bed all kind of dead skin and flakes all over your pillows and your sheets and you down there doing something strange for a piece of change then he'd go out and take that same dirty thing and put it in his baby mama put it in his ex-girlfriend put it in the script around that script club that you let them go to and then come back to you and come bring you a concoction of bacteria and then you walk around with utis every day of the week and twice on sunday all kind of yeast infection because you keep putting up with this man who keep going wandering off like a stray dog and then finding his way back only for dinner and then leaving again and then you keep hollering by oh you want to make a relationship work and you got the toughest eye and this is going to be your story and everybody got a story to tell and tony gasket wouldn't be here if sheree gasket didn't stay and put up with him listen i am who i am because my wife wouldn't put up with nothing she left me in dating to send me a message and then when we got married and we was only married for two months and our son was born two and a half months early and our son was in the intensive care unit in the nicu my wife left me because i went back to the streets to sell drugs and she had told me in dating she refused to be with a dope boy and my wife left me two months into marriage and she didn't have a job and our son was in the intensive care unit my wife walked out she was gone for three days and i begged her and begged the bank and on the third day on the third day just how jesus rose again on thursday on the third day my heart was resurrected because my wife picked up that phone and heard me out and listened to me beg and plea and that's why it's called a 72 hour rule in this book a woman's influence because it was the third day that my wife picked up the phone but the fact that she left and i thought she was gone for good i thought she was done i thought we was over with that thing sent me through an emotional roller coaster i felt every feeling you could feel i had every thought you could have i thought my life was over i thought i had lost my wife and my son and i'm getting ready to go through a divorce be put on child support and have to be a weekend daddy that thing shook me to my core and it scared me half the deal and i vowed to change my life and to be a better man she gave me one more chance she gave me a second chance in marriage a second chance not no third chance not no fourth chance not no fifth chance a second chance two months saying nine not two years in not five years in not seven years in two months in two months in so what that meant is you brand new to marriage you 23 not 33 not 43 like what y'all putting up with you 23 years old you just was a drug dealer you have gotten married at 23 years old you have decided to go back to the streets i'm leaving you when i played guilty and i said listen forgive me i will never go back i'm going to get rid of this he'll work actually i just sold the last little bitter i'm done with it i'm never going back to the street then she said i will give you one more chance you 23 year old two-month intermarriage man who is the father of my child i will give you one more chance not you situationship boyfriend not you often own boyfriend not you baby daddy who got two three other baby mamas not you getting high getting drunk club going man i did not drink i did not smoke i did not curse i did not club the only thing i would buy will bot that's what i will buy so listen and so a lot is so many people anytime doing a message they want to bring up my why well let's enrique ask it did not what you doing because i was 23. that one half as bad as the men y'all putting up with so don't try to equate the same thing and say oh what's it re did no she did not no she did not she did not get choked like you getting choked and get punched in the eye it was not women calling her phone and texting her phone she wasn't walking in into the room and i'm in the bed with another woman it wasn't none of that you see what i'm saying and this what so many women putting up with come on now come on now and listen i ain't fed up i just got a righteous indignation and that's how you gonna feel when you call to something you're gonna care about it because y'all destroying the world y'all destroying the world because listen and that's why i got to hold you accountable because i'm raising two young kings my son gonna go into the world and then he gonna meet your daughter and your daughter gonna be savage hearted because she just seeing you get going upside your head she's gonna watch a man go upside your head your whole her whole life she don't watch you settle and and and deal with all this crap and then my son can't even find no good wife because all these sorry daddies and sorry mamas and then we complicit we sitting down we going through it and we settling for it and we all in it come on now we got to do better we got to do better because there's people out here that's raising a child the right way raising their sons raising their daughters the right way and setting a positive example through self-love that the sons and daughter is looking at their mama and see that this woman love herself that this woman willing to work two jobs that she got to she willing to work overtime on her one job if she got to she willing to sacrifice she willing to not be in no bed with nobody she willing to be abstinent or celibate whatever you want to call it but she willing to be that she willing to meet a man and walk away from that man until she is treated with love and respect and she's not finna have nobody called step daddy unless he a real man and these kids getting to see that but then they got to go into the world and deal with somebody else and they trying to find a spouse and they got to deal with somebody else who was raised like a rat in a barn because they mama grown smushedy undead grown a musty living like savages holland about day in a relationship but they having boxing matches like mike tyson and evan the holy field every week cussing each other out going to the script club together putting stuff in people drank to bring home somebody from the club together and this what these kids growing up seeing and then supposed to go into the world and be functional [Music] mom and dad is swinging and then the daughter grow up hollering about she asex was she this and that she panoramic sexual she abnormal sex was she discounted this and this kind of that the kid watching these grown stinking musky adults live in this tomfoolery buffoonery and 11 12 years old boys coming home holland by they ready to be a girl girls coming home 11 12 years they ready to be a boy because they are confused looking at their parents looking at their daddy looking at their step mama looking at their mama looking at what's going on and looking at the example they got for parents hearing by all this infidelity all this cheating all this abuse and the child is left to him or herself and they absolutely confused don't know who they are don't know if they going or they coming don't know the difference between two left shoes and sitting there and don't know what to do and then mamas and daddies doing anything they want to do under the sun and forgetting all about their kids forgetting all about the example that they setting for the youth and do not care as long as they got a warm body to cuddle up with even if the person to be punching them in the eye tomorrow come on now you got to stop settling you got to stop settling man spitting in your face and then use a mama that he could sleep with and then he still take and put his mama before you and call you his wife but will cuss you out if you ain't willing to pay his mama bills if you ain't willing to let his mama cuss you out and talk down to you he'll spit in your face and then you call this a man you call this a relationship no you're an enabler you're a crutch you'll hold me down you hear what i'm saying listen to me now listen to me and this is the thing and the reason why people oh talk to the men talk to the men i talk to the men but you know what i got plenty of videos for the men but you know what ain't not gonna change longer you on your back i could talk to a man until i'm blue in the face if you gonna be on your bike ain't nothing gonna change not a single thing because he don't care about nothing i got to say if you finna get on your back if you feel to let him keep running in and out like a pole cat ain't nothing gonna change i don't know what a pole cat is but if you finna let him use and up you and dog you out i could sit on here and do a 24-hour man-to-man marathon and drop every jewel crystal ruby sapphire that i can and not a single thing will change if a woman is gonna get on her back for him if a woman is gonna cuddle him and enable him ain't no single thing gonna change and that's why i try to help y'all understand the woman is the backbone of the world you the crux of the world you the stronghold you're the cornerstone everything moves and changes based on what a woman is willing to accept and what a woman is not willing to accept if women band together and say we not finna deal with no cheating every man gonna have to be faithful but as long as as as long as a woman is worried about another man another woman getting her sorry no good man that don't nobody want anyways so that's why she keep telling herself she gonna stay because she don't want to be preparing him for another woman and she don't want to lose them to another woman because she didn't put in 10 years and five years and seven years and she got to make this work as long as women willing to do that ain't nothing gonna change not a single narry thing do you hear me listen to me because the woman is the receiver who lay on their bike the woman who opened they let the woman who receives into their body the woman who received the proposal the woman the woman is the catalyst the woman is the backbone you don't like the responsibility talk to god and ask god why he made it this way but what he trying to tell you is you have the power if you get off your back and close your leg and stop putting up with the grown boy behavior he have no choice but to step up in your life or to step out of your life and make room for a real man who willing to step up hey there's ton of gas i got to go i got to coach god bless you we'll talk soon

Channel: Tony Gaskins

Views: 26,593

Rating: 4.9690986 out of 5

Keywords: Why do men cheat and come back, Why do men disrespect women, How many times should I take a man back

Id: HTNnp77RlBM

Length: 28min 29sec (1709 seconds)

Published: Thu Jun 10 2021