Starfield ruined my life

welcome to wallpaper engine 2.0 are you serious man I've played this tutorial three times now right out the gate Starfield immediately caters to the genin impact Community as you begin the story as a minor these two [ __ ] send me to pick up some special Shard further in the mines because they are too scared so I touched the strange Shard causing me to start tripping balls eventually waking up in a care unit I asked the doctors why my ass was sore but they proceeded to gas like me telling me I'm just illusional they get me to look at a form to remember who I am I don't understand how I could ever forget as I'm clearly the prime male specimen I made my character come from a bouncer background as I figured those what I can only assume are arms throw a mean punch and anyone who sees me wouldn't want to mess with them on my way off the ship I Steal This Woman's recorder and this man's sandwich hey that was my sandwich we run into a guy named Barrett a buyer for our Shard thingy turns out Barrett is in some sort of conflict with the Pirates around the Galaxy I immediately show off my raw strength buting this pirate until he begs for forgiveness I then see this other pirate who looked like they were going down a water slide Wet n Wild I thought it was pretty funny old mate Barrett here offers me a once in a-lifetime opportunity to take his position in this special boy band so he gives me his ship to deliver the artifact the main story of this game is collecting all these artifact Shard thing imigs because they combined together creating some other random thing if that explanation of the story wasn't good enough for you leave the video now long story short but there's the game stories mean absolutely nothing to me my Robo companion Vasco whose name I tried to search up and only found these two things someone please let me know the correlation between it tells me to land on the nearby Moon of Creek to deal with some Pirates Who are with these guys known as the Crimson Fleek I'm just a simple backup vocalist so I figured to get my name out there I could build up some street cred or as the kids say Moon cred I find this abandoned research facility and head inside Bethesda annoys me with this whole immersive RPG experience they sell you when you spend half of your time playing their games debating whether to pick up some random ass item you see laying around like seriously what on Earth am I going to do with a cube that is worth 35 credits that makes my character move like Andre the Giant when I have to pay 120,000 credits a week for a virtual House's mortgage and while reading this I've become even more annoyed because why is mortgage spelled Mort moving on I use my raw strength once again to eliminate this pirate and failed to unlock the simplest level of safes because I had zero clue what a Digi pick did the combat in this game definitely is a lot more bearable than the other Bethesda titles because trying to shoot anything on Fallout 4 using a controller made me want to kill enemies kill my enemies with Precision what kill my enemies with precision shooting while having a great time whilst heading towards my next objective I get jump scared by a leech I absolutely despise horror games I think I have PTSD stemming from my single player Keno to toen experience on Black Ops 1 I would always be too scared to progress through the map so I would end up dying in the spawn room with an M14 and an a limpia every game on round seven six-year-old me was a [ __ ] though I could never be scared like that again hell no bro comment the phrase I'm a registered offender if you want me to start posting horror game videos Story Time over I find a legendary rifle and get rudely stopped by broen member of the Crimson Fleet he immediately notices I have Barrett's ship resulting in him and I having beef by extension I refused to put up with his Shenanigans so I choose the attack option I'm unsure if this guy was supposed to be difficult to take out but I just unload unspeakable amounts of ammunition into his skull while his boyfriends watch him get cremated from the guidelines I head back to my ship fly into space and fast travel to new Atlantis welcome to New Atlantis bethesda's most ambitious City the police scanned my ship for Contraband before I was cleared to land which is totally understandable because it is clear there is a cocaine epidemic going on in this city little Easter eggs are hidden everywhere while heading to the train station my dopamine receptor fried monkey brain noticed his large man walking around as he walks past these wet floor signs I instinctively begin meleeing the cones accidentally Crush cring a woman's poal fucer thus commencing the first Showcase of the full capability of bethesda's improved AI enemy combatant system one of the security members speaks my mind as the fight ends so now it is finally time to go meet my new boy band turns out this is not a band it's a space group for British nerds Tits McGee here welcomes me to their group called constellation I place my artifact on the table where they already have two collected and the three pieces all start reacting with each other paraphrase the rest of this it's just nah yeah sick bro this is awesome yeah sick let's go so I joined their British cult and Sarah accompanies me on our first mission this dude tries to sign me up to become a Vanguard officer I tell him to suck it so he just gives me the location to the next artifact on Mars so when Sarah Sprints at full speed chasing after me no one bats an eye but when I run full speed after a girl in a dark neighborhood it's weird and cops suddenly want to ask ask me some questions whatever that means as I arrive at Mars the UC who was just trying to recruit me mere minutes earlier now want to arrest me as I am a wanted criminal from the wet floor sign incident it's crazy that in a Galaxy full of crime my little smack was such a high priority absolutely pathetic it could be because I also murdered two officers in broad daylight but that's water under the bridge I let them arrest me because I knew if I chose to attack I would get my ass handed to me I knew Barrett's little crap Shack of a vehicle would implode the micro and the bullet touched it Commander eandi here offers me an ultimatum I either help the UC Cy take down the Crimson Fleet in an elaborate undercover Mission or get thrown in jail I chose to take the undercover offer because I couldn't let a criminal record get in the way of pursuing a career as a mackers chef to pay off my virtual mortgage also I love to quickly point out that these guys didn't even take my full inventory of deadly weapons away from me imagine in real life a police officer just let a murderer keep a pistol with him in the holding cell of a pre just trusting them to behave themselves little does this dude know as soon as I get the chance I'm double crossing him my original plan was to be a criminal with this play through but of course you already knew that from my character creation I immediately begin regretting my decision to work with these guys as I discovered all these workers are just some sort of inbred species the worst part is they are all the actor with eyebrows fun fact my brother is actually the originator of the actor with the eyebrows meme true story so needless to say we are pretty much household names at this point it's clear these guys are a super important part of the Galaxy as I uncover their secret plans of Designing the perfect blanket I watched Sarah tweak out enter my ship and land in Sedonia putting the whole Crimson Fleet Quest on hold I returned to the main story of searching for the artifacts I order myself an alcoholic Juice Box before persuading the bartender into giving us some information about this guy named MOA who has the next artifact he tells us he has posted up on Venus a satellite transmission lets us know he is in the Nova Galactic stary yard I dock at the stary yard with advanced piloting precision and get on board we step inside and immediately come across some corpses of course like anyone else my first instinct on a ship filled with a bunch of dead bodies is to head into the bathroom this guy obviously just had the most despicable dump of his life so I steal his choco bites while he is out cold I get the craziest corpse launch on this dude kill some epileptics and almost hit the nastiest trick shot ever for my phase submission this guy saw the trick shot attempt and started running out of pure fear or he was just having an episode from the flashing gunshots we find Mo's audio log and in typical Bethesda fetch Quest fashion he is now on Neptune who knew he wouldn't be at the first two locations it's almost like this is Todd's formula I arrive at Neptune where we find moa's ship taken over by the epileptics I shoot out their engines and dock onto the ship Sarah gets domed in the back of the head by at least six submachine gun bullets but it doesn't phase it we eliminate the remaining enemies and find MOA with the artifact he gives it to us as a thank you for saving his life it may seem like I've been [ __ ] on Bethesda and this game this entire video but that's not true I think star field for what it is is decently good I feel like with mods this game can definitely become something people play for a decade or longer one thing that was perfect however was the General Ambience feeling especially in Space the soundtrack was marvelously designed so I'll give old Todd that win I'm sure Todd Howard the creator of Bethesda game studios cares about a YouTuber with 11 subscribers opinion on his multi-million dollar game I head back to the lodge to place the artifact and to no surprise there are more artifacts out in the Galaxy that need to be found I'm going to end this video here if you want me to continue with this playthrough and find the rest of the old artifacts let me know if you enjoyed remember to take cde's advice like And subscribe losers and as always stay [Music] sweet hon

Channel: Kyji

Views: 13,497

Keywords: starfield, starfield gameplay, starfield review, starfield game, starfield news, starfield bethesda, starfield trailer, starfield pc, starfield impressions, starfield update, starfield guide, starfield reaction, bethesda starfield, starfield 2023, starfield xbox, starfield reveal, starfield tips and tricks, starfield graphics, starfield pc gameplay, starfield performance, starfield bugs, starfield part 1, Starfield leaks, Starfield ruined my life, Starfield funny moments

Id: bu2YRRSUVEs

Length: 8min 44sec (524 seconds)

Published: Fri Oct 06 2023