Sonic For Hire - Season 1: The Complete Season

[Music] [Music] rent dewey loser let's go pay up oh i'm a little short this month you know i'm good for it though right yeah you're actually not good for it you're completely broke i mean your tv is an old dominique wilkins poster you're watching a poster [ __ ] off i love this poster hey don't get all pissy with me because i'm the one who saved my money and didn't blow it on coke and dreamcast stock you're the one who gave me that stock tip let's not get into all the details about who purposely screwed who out of all their money the good news is i might be able to hook you up with a couple jobs to help you get by cool what do we got new sonic game sonic cartoon sonic death metal album i don't give a [ __ ] i'll do whatever well it's not quite those things but it's good to know you'll do anything this is [ __ ] stupid break dancers get out of the way [ __ ] this sonic wins [ __ ] why did i agree to this it's a big payday man so just hang in there you're going to be fine trust me look look i'm not feeling good about this is it too late to back out yes that belt yeah now it's too late okay go get him champ yeah thanks a lot dick face hey this ain't so bad i think i could take this guy oh that's great buddy just uh don't go crazy okay i uh kind of bet against you so uh i need you to lose hey wait you been against me oh my face tails grab those coins i need them for laundry why isn't anyone stopping this well you took one hell of a beating man but at least you still got some money left over after all those hospital bills right you know what you should do head down to the starlight zone pick yourself up a girl get a little spin job huh you earned it nah i decided it's time to grow up you know so i took that money and made a little investment hey good for you man yeah i bought a sweet new frame for my poster that baby's gonna pay for itself in like 15 20 years you stupid [ __ ] oh man this is the best [ __ ] job ever you're the king sonic watch me ring this crazy [ __ ] right in the head look at that old bag hey lady who's walking home so how much am i getting paid for this anyway a billion trillion funkatron bucks holy [ __ ] what's the conversion rate on that no sonic that converts to a zillion us dollars straight out sonic is back sonic is back sonic is back sonic is back sonic sonic what the [ __ ] up man what's wrong with you what the what ah don't worry tails i got your damn rent money and then some dude what the [ __ ] are you talking about you dropped acid like four days ago and just wandered off wait wait wait no you got me that job capturing humans with toe jamming errol guys guys back me up here yeah garbage bag and busted chair do you have anything to add no all right now how about we get the hell out of here i'm pretty sure the cops are gonna have some questions for you why oh yeah let's go [Music] all right kubrick there you go all the lights are the same just take your meds and your ocd should be in check for a little while hey hop on i got another job for you oh [ __ ] just a heads up this next job it's with an old nemesis but it does pay well so whatever i don't give a [ __ ] as long as i get some coins uh i think you mean rings coins rings hey i had to eat one of those cute little squirrels for dinner last night i'll call murder the [ __ ] i want hello sonic what the [ __ ] is this some sort of trap no i'm over that whole thing i just need you to unclog my toilet you gotta be [ __ ] kidding me robotnik why don't you just have one of your bad knicks do it well first of all it's eggman now and second oh my badnik's left turns out the name dr eggman doesn't exactly demand respect so it's just me here now hanging out in my undies fine so where's the toilet well technically this whole place is one big toilet but uh it all starts right down there uh what are you a doctor of anyway i'm a podiatrist okay jesus christ eggman what the [ __ ] do you eat bacon wrap scallops all right just pay me my hundred coins so i can clean up and get out of here uh i think you mean rings but okay all right time to pay up and problem let me just get him out of my uh [ __ ] you stink balls you son of a [ __ ] this ain't over why are we doing this again yeah the regular announcer got murdered in one of the fights so they just needed some last-minute replacements oh yeah this sounds safe you know i don't know [ __ ] about street fighter right it's fine don't worry about it who's gonna notice if we screw up a few video game references anyway just follow my lead welcome everybody to another edition of street fighter we've got a big crowd here anxious to see blanca battle it out with chun li isn't that right sonic that's right tails and if this is at all realistic that large green monster guy should definitely murder lucy liu let's see what happens what's up chronic and fails yeah move over a little bit let me get in here chronic what is that even me you got my money jerk off get lost eggman we're trying to work here blanco with a big swipe to the face hey yo uh fox guy somebody keyed peckerface on the side of the tornado you better check that [ __ ] out what i just got that thing detailed god damn it don't believe me [ __ ] it was me what a schmuck yo eggman needs to find beer man he's getting low refill shut up now i got to announce this fight by myself watch and learn dip [ __ ] there's girl jackie chan looking super hot as always oh man hey girl jackie chad do it do another one of those high kicks get you like way up there let me see what you got do it girl jackie chan do it knock it off perv hey shrek with the block lucy lou counters with a block and a crouch block boring let's liven this [ __ ] up a little bit hey matt leblanc you sucked it lost in space it was this guy i swear later pinheads it wasn't me hey thanks for doing this you came highly recommended from tails yeah he's a real sweetheart so what's going on here here's the deal it's raining outside and i want to go crawl on the driveway for a bit so i need you to make sure bob stays in his bowl and doesn't get in my suit yeah yeah don't overfeed him i got it hey were you about to take my suit no i was just simply moving it further away from nemo seriously just don't take my suit i wasn't gonna dick just go outside and have sex with yourself already jamie lee curtis what supposedly she was born a hermaphrodite oh i uh i didn't know that yeah it's one of those urban legend type deals you know uh i keep meaning to check it on snopes but uh it's not that high on my priority list i think she sells diarrhea yogurt right now okay just don't take the suit alright you can count on me you know if you give me that suit i can make you my right hand all right let's see what this suit can do this is it you can already do this [ __ ] completely naked with white gloves on please water i need water tell jimbo i'm keeping the suit and i'm taking the tvs payment later shark bait that was great i ah [ __ ] hey knuckles you work here work here more like own it frying and buying you're looking at the fourth largest burger franchise branch south of the green hill zone oh good for you [ __ ] yeah it's good for me you see that moped outside no i can't really see it i think it's the tree's blocking it oh net too frying and buying all right look sharp rookie you got your first customer why hello sonic oh [ __ ] balls give me four burgers prompt out great choice eggman trainee follow me to the kitsch hey make sure that rat washes his hands i've seen how he cleans toilets take it in new guy here's where all the magic happens what's up with the mutant egg and [ __ ] just kill him and put him in the burgers frying and buying baby frying and buying stop saying frying about whatever [Music] all right that should do it here you go took you long enough oh my god these are so good you like those burgers egg man i hope you choke on them you fat piece of [ __ ] get the hell out of here back off i'm outta here why are you so happy oh no reason hey i got an idea let's watch the surveillance tape of me making eggman's food and freeze it looks like eggman ordered this special sauce oh man that is awesome hey isn't this earthworm gyms tv yeah i'm a dick hey blue devil you mind stopping this death train for a second lil boone's got the dysentery and needs to go to the bathroom no way we're making good time and stick a cork in that brad i don't want him [ __ ] all over the wagon i told you he should have picked the banker the banker seriously eliza what's the banker gonna do to an ox get it better interest rates plus he was from boston they call soda pop yeah and a lot of help you were when they got said well maybe if magellan up there didn't spend every cent we had on 60 wagon tongues we could have got ourselves a new one i tell you what i like a new one of you saying you want to do one of me hey watch it now text box i got five bullets left you better get that story straight now that's more like it would you dumb rube shut up back there i'm trying to focus jackpot i'll be right back hey chief wahoo i'm leading a bunch of [ __ ] across the country i need some help do you have any food or what uh we're just smoking there kimusabi oh hey guys sorry i took so long me and wagon burner over there we we ended up watching these buffalo do it for like six hours it's [ __ ] crazy whoops oh well four wagon tongues for me hey tato let's watch season four of the [Music] wire [Music] oh [ __ ] gross i mean uh nice to meet you i guess i'm your escort for the evening i'm gonna [ __ ] kill tails tails wasn't kidding you are a cute one shirtless too i like that yeah great tail said you were the brainy type but i was expecting more of the sexy librarian than the giant pulsating brain monster hey pulsating brain monsters can be sexy too yeah i'll take your word on that so what do you want to do cause you got me for the the entire weekend what the [ __ ] oh i've got lots of fun stuff planned but first how about a drink to celebrate new friends garrison dini sonic it's a martini with gary yeah kerosene i got it i'll take 14 of them [Music] leaving so soon i thought we could take another ride on the brain train oh sorry i didn't know you're awake but uh i gotta go uh i've got this thing i need to go to or i'm seeing someone else gay i'm gay yeah that's it oh i'm not buying that honey you ate my brain last night like a freaking zombie oh god well at least say goodbye to our kids before you leave what the hell are you even talking about kids we just had sex a couple of hours ago what do you expect i'm a mutant brain monster i pop out kids like a goddamn gumball machine daddy [ __ ] kerbone what's up pal tell said you needed some help getting rid of the bad element here oh yes sonic it's just horrible i gotta say it doesn't seem so bad here oh no they're menaces just look at this evil prick why hello they're good fellows lovely day we're having that guy didn't seem so terrible look here comes another [ __ ] another glorious day in ice cream kirby these are the bad guys i think that last guy was gonna offer us money in a sandwich this umbrella works wonders for murdering you know what gerb i think i'm just gonna take off it was great seeing you it really was but uh i got a something to go to uh no i'm gay wait i'm gay yeah sonic you really shouldn't leave or else i'll devour you like one of these maggots and take your powers now murder away or kirby's gonna get a whole lot faster sonic old friend how have you been why are you sorry brilliant sonic doesn't it feel wonderful like flying a kite in a burning puppy field kirby you are sick [ __ ] would it make you feel better if i told you they were actually robots with no feelings or emotions for real nope they're real see you later murderer okay flip it my way no don't lay it flat lay it top flat bottom towards the bottom flat wait the starboard side hello sonic it's payback time look about that whole burger time thing i know what you did with that special sauce don't worry don't worry i got tested i'm clean you made that special sauce extra salty so it would raise my blood pressure didn't you well what you didn't know is that i never swallow the special sauce i always spit it out so you lose again wow i don't i don't even know where to begin with that save your apologies till after i pull this big worm out of my back seat okay now you're just being ridiculous your old pal eggman hooked me up with this little number now tell me where my suit is look i've been meaning to give you your suit back i just wanted to wash it first whoa whoa whoa did you read the label it's dry clean only you're gonna ruin it relax jamie lee i didn't do the wash yet come on let's go get it come on turn over ah i think i flooded this thing needs a changing sonic and i need a refill you use my suit as a diaper we're at a tin foil you're dead sonic give me that thing you [ __ ] freak i wouldn't do that if i were you change your danger yeah you better run you mess with me you mess with my whole family you're late on the chance of heart wait up guys where can i get a cool axe like that everyone seems to have sharp objects except me i see you eyeballing tyrus up there somebody needs to get laid bro what i wasn't eyeball i'm just trying not to get chopped in half okay nah nah nah don't worry about the chumps just focus on the bumps what's going on here did you bring me out here just to get me laid or something dude you gotta hit that ass it's like gym class i'm talking double voigt spike that [ __ ] those are just random words right maybe you're a [ __ ] idiot seriously why am i here i want using tyrus to bang each other like wild ogres while i pleasure myself why is tales trying to wear me out there is no way i'm doing that what's this pagan no no [ __ ] that man this is [ __ ] creepy come on man i got some good vino here get into it eh look weirdo i'm just gonna fight off these goons you could pay me and i can get the [ __ ] out of here thank you brave warrior now let's do it on the battlefield what you're into this too i don't know this is just a little bit much for me we'll pay you triple i'm in perverts excellent let's heat things up yeah grab a tits hey what's up guys hi what the hell is happening here who's there sonic sonic is that you oh thank god listen man this [ __ ] just turned me into an eggplant but i gotta go back like 20 levels to get healed i just need you to go get a nurse for me okay sure one sec let me just rest for a minute i ran like all the way here can you please hurry up i can't see a thing in here and being an eggplant is a lot like being jammed up inside your own [ __ ] i said in a minute jesus don't get mad at me because you can't dodge this weirdo in his veggies no offense none taken look i i apologize if i snapped at you but this is kind of a serious situation i understand that dick i just need a minute ah again with the attitude now you see why i throw [ __ ] at him fine fine i'll be right back oh hey there nurse how are you oh i got kind of turned into an eggplant i gotta go i'll go help him all right okay let's go okay there buddy i got your nurse just follow the sound of my voice man that was classic hey you wanna talk up i carved out one of my eggplants into a pretty sweet bowl hell yeah don't mind if i do ah [ __ ] will sonic turn back into a hedgehog and will he ever find a job to get back on his feet what about that dominique wilkins poster from the first couple episodes remember that running joke we kind of lost track of that one and will tails ever come out of his coma oh uh did we we didn't tell you tails got in a pretty serious car accident like a month ago he's been in a coma so we're pulling for him find out all this and more next season on sonic for hire hey this is mike from lowbrow thanks for watching our video and be sure to click like and subscribe maybe stick around and watch all our other funny videos and ooh look at that shiny new patreon button in the middle maybe uh see what that's all about

Channel: Lowbrow Studios

Views: 1,401,811

Keywords: Sonic, Sonic The Hedgehog, Sonic For Hire, Hedgehog for hire, lowbrow, lowbrow studios, tails, dr robotnik, Sega, Sega Genisis, Luke Skywalker, Sonic movie, baby sonic, genesis

Id: dOdBnIdDZ1M

Length: 19min 10sec (1150 seconds)

Published: Wed Nov 04 2020

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OH GOD NOSTALGIA